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razrogue · 1 month

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channeling energy (Minthara x Tav)

It takes Minthara some time to come to terms with the force that Gan is.

Someone being so in sync with her and wasn't trying to kill her to take it all was like a fever dream. All the right words are said, almost all the right moves are made, Minthara found it unsettling at first. Many nights she wanted to push into Gan's mind to really find out if there was a dagger waiting for her. The one night her curiosity got the better of her and she did, it was illuminating and incredibly frustrating.

Gan felt Minthara's tadpole engaging hers as they got situated in Rivington. She knew it couldn't really be anyone else because it was a sensation she'd known before with Minthara given how she often intruded into her thoughts long before now. Minthara hadn't done it since before the shadow cursed lands when she last saw her after the party so Gan was a little annoyed at the intrusion now. She dropped the bag she'd been holding and stared at her, waiting for her to use her words. It surprised Minthara for a moment before she finally tells her.

She wanted to know if this was all a dream. If she had to be worried that they would eventually end up on opposing sides. Gan looks at her before finally agreeing to let her in. Minthara is hesitant at first. She had to admit to herself that her intrusion was not entirely about finding out if she was only a rest away from a dagger to her throat, not unlike how she'd once done to her. Whispers of companionship had also crossed her mind. She knew the elf was coupled with the vampire spawn. She'd seen them cavorting about but he was of no consequence to her, he barely registered as a threat, let alone a rival. Minthara did find it puzzling how such a formidable person had gotten tangled up with such a fiend but being on the surface had introduced her to many strange customs.

The two of them went into the barn, away from prying eyes, and allowed their minds to mingle.

Minthara pushed in, gently at first, bracing for whatever lie in the thick of it all. She found herself greeted by hesitation of Gan wondering if they should trust them then admirable scenes of the two of them side by side slicing and smiting their foes. It brings Minthara joy to see them removing threats to their claim. But then Minthara pushed further and saw something a lot more personal. The two of them embracing each other by firelight. Gan lying beneath her, hands palming her ass, running her tongue along the edge of her ear. Quickly nibbling its point as she slides her hand further down until it reaches warmth.

Minthara pulls back. It is a revelation indeed. She tells her that she is a little surprised, not that they had not connected physically before. But the vision Gan had shown her held far more intimacy than she anticipated.

She reached for her hand, letting her know her feelings were not one sided. Then she had to lay everything out - that she did not share those she cared about.

Gan runs her thumb across the back of her hand, along a freshly healed scar. She understood that Minthara felt that way but she could not live like that. She told her how she grew up in a family with many parents who all loved and embraced each other freely. She found it incredibly selfish to want to consume someone wholly when you are capable of loving many as love and the capacity to love was not finite. The irony wasn't lost on Gan how she could be unapologetically selfish in so many aspects of her life but loving and sharing herself with others was not one of them. She understood that Minthara felt how she did but she was not one to hoard her affection for others. Gan grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm as she stood up.

She valued Minthara, not only as an ally but as someone she was starting to care about in a sense, but she would not be made to conform to someone else's definition or expectations. And so Minthara takes that knowledge and response in stride.

It was not her way and she knew the surface folk moved very differently than those in the Underdark. She couldn't fathom having to share her affections with others because when she loved, she only wanted to love one.

But time and insight had a way of bringing clarity. When they were engaged they were no less attended to than the spawn was. Even if it hadn't been in a romantic capacity at the time, Minthara felt no less important to her. Minthara slowly came to see what Gan meant. It may not have been her way but it was a sight to see and to be a part of. So when she finally decided she was willing to partake, she did so with the full knowledge that she wouldn't feel lesser.

#Ilina Gavren #Gan #Minthara Baenre #Minthara #Minthara x Tav #Minthara romance #BG3 tav #BG3 OC #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #otp: divinely inevitable #razrogue writes #razrogue screens #razmeta #this really is just meta for my tav but enjoy the insight🤷🏾‍♀️😂#I firmly believe that Minthara should have been a nonmonogamous option for evil tavs/durges in-game and yes I'm specifying for evil players #I do like playing with the notion of her being monogamous...#...but confronting her feelings or whatever it is exactly with Gan and deciding fuck it I'll give it a try cause I want and deserve it #not that Gan tries to change Minthara but monogamy is a dealbreaker for her and she doesn't compromise on that #it was left to Minthara to decide if monogamy was a hard limit or not on her own #Minthara decided it was not especially when the other object of Gan's affections didn't compare to her as far as she was concerned #but not on some choose me over him stuff...he just wasn't a factor at all to Minthara LMAO #long post

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razrogue · 2 months

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I was thinking about the first time post game that Gan writes Astarion a "love letter"

And how he's a super dick about it at first "why would I want something so trivial? It's beneath me." Turning his nose up at it, he's offended by something so low class being given to him.

Gan gives it to him anyway and tells him "do whatever you want. burn it, rip it up, keep it. I don't care." They go on about their business. They still write them. He still turns his nose up.

They test his ass and stop after the fourth one. He'd gotten one a month (before Gan started traveling when they switch to weekly if they'll be gone long).

He notices when he doesn't get the 5th one but is too arrogant to say anything.

When the 6th doesn't arrive, he's a dick about it.

"What happened to your little missives? Finally realized they were worthless drivel..."

Gan doesn't take the bait though.

Gan just tells him "well you said it was beneath you and I don't want to offend the Lord of the house."

And they leave it at that.

He sees them in the garden one day seven months later and he still hasn't gotten a letter from them. Gan still writes them but doesn't give them to him cause he's being an inconsiderate and hurtful brat.

They're outside writing Minthara one though. Minthara cherishes the fuck out of hers 😆😆😆

He joins them on the bench and looks over their shoulder and sees them writing one. He comments that they shouldn't bother wasting the parchment and ink and that he won't accept it.

Gan only remarks that's fine because it's not for you 🤷🏾‍♀️

He doesn't like their response and snatches it from them in a fit. And Gan just calmly puts the quill down and stares at him.

He pouts that no one should find these letters sweet or charming. How it's just fancy words that aren't worth anything. And Gan stands up and remarks "you seem really angry about something that is beneath you."

And they grab their quill and papers and head back inside. He reads what they were writing to Minthara and it pisses him off a lot. He rips it up, yells at one of the staff to clean up the mess, and goes inside to read his cause the asshole never opened his letters.

So he finally reads what they say. Gan usually just writes a very small poem or something they love about them or expresses gratitude for their presence...occasionally something erotic (the one they were writing for Minthara at that time was erotic LMAO)

But the first one they wrote was reassuring him that they were in this together for however long they could be (they were not a vampire at the time).

The second one was a reminder about the day they told him about his pet name and how that was a huge step for them to share that with him.

The third one was a poem they'd seen in a book that reminded them of him.

The fourth one that they gave him simply said "for all the things I've done in this life, committing to you was one of the best."

And he feels like such a dumbass but he doesn't want to admit it. Too proud, too arrogant, too much of a jerk.

So he takes all of them and carefully places them into a blank leather bound book (I'm imagining a photo album type book equivalent) and he puts a ward on it and stores it away.

Finally approaches Gan later that evening. He doesn't want to apologize but he does want to tell them that maybe getting the letters isn't so terrible (he also really liked what they were writing to Minthara and he's slightly jealous because of course he is that he hasn't gotten an erotic one 🙄)

So he decides to curl up with them on a couch/bench/whatever piece of furniture and they enjoy each other's company for a while. He hesitates for a good part of the evening to even address his rude fucking behavior earlier that day.

But then Gan is like "alright I need to go rewrite something because you were an asshole and ruined something of mine."

And he grabs their wrist as they're walking away from where he remained seated. And he actually apologizes. Like actually says the words and not his typical "address it but not appropriately or adequately" kind of way.

In a moment of honesty, he just apologizes for destroying the parchment. He doesn't say he was wrong though 🙄

But he apologizes for behaving like that. Gan just says okay and leaves the room. He's miffed he wasn't forgiven but doesn't complain.

When they are in bed later that night, he quietly mentions that he'd like to start getting them again (and actually apologizes for his behavior a second time!).

Gan doesn't acknowledge him right then, they just go into trance.

When he wakes up the next day, Gan is gone already doing their evil overlord shit.

But he notices two sealed letters on the nightstand from the 5th and 6th months and he smiles a little to himself.

Just "hmmm they still wrote them anyway" and he's relieved on the inside that they did.

The 5th month's letter was his erotic one 😂

#Ilina Gavren #Gan #Astarion Ancunin #Ascended Astarion #Ascendant Astarion #Astarion #Astarion x Tav #Astarion romance #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #otp: hand in despicable hand #Ganarion #razmeta

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razrogue · 9 months

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Goodbye early access 👋🏾

#Ilina Gavren #Chardira Illenar #Dreva Nightthorn #Arlaia #Zaessa #BG3 tav #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 spoilers #Baldur's Gate 3 spoilers #razrogue screens #Astarion #Shadowheart #Lae'zel #Minthara #long post

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razrogue · 2 months

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My darling one...

Now that you are a part of my life

I never want to know life without you

If anything tried to bring you harm

I would drown this world in blood for you

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razrogue · 1 month

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five character associations — Gan

Tagged by @coldshrugs (ty 💙💜)

emotions

contentment

passion

fascination

motivated

patience

colors

fern green

blush pink

copper

ruby red

orchid purple

scents

sandalwood

fresh ripe plum

the air after a thunderstorm

freshly toasted spices

a fire that's been burning for a while

objects

a silver pendant with six stones

a sharpened dagger with an ornate handle

a worn satchel, well traveled and well loved

potion bottles

a piece of fruit just picked off a tree

body language

fingers laced with someone else's to ground them in the moment

crouching in the shadows, biding time

a hand gently caressing a head resting in a lap

legs wrapped around a waist

smiling from across a room with warmth only reserved for a few

aesthetics

a dagger closely held against a throat

the sun stretched across the surface of a lake at sunset

an arrow drawn taut in a bow, ready to strike its target

lips pressed against a sensitive spot

freshly washed hair still dripping with water

No obligation tagging: @we-staybhaalin @absansombre @omgkalyppso @hamethyst @20skai @bhaalbaaby @griffinsanddragons @phasebun @eeldritchblast @mightymizora @rowanisawriter @thetavolution @meishuu @feral--darling and anyone else who wants to do it!

#Ilina Gavren #Gan #BG3 tav #BG3 OC #evil tav #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #Raz was tagged

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razrogue · 3 months

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til death do us part (Ascended Astarion x Tav)

he'd asked them for eternity. one fateful day in a dark dungeon as they walked past cells filled with those who'd been lured into a vampire's grasp.

he'd asked them for eternity. one fateful day in a dark dungeon as a cacophony of screams erupted around them.

he'd asked them for eternity. one fateful day in a dark dungeon as the eternal hunger he'd felt for the past two centuries evaporated in an infernal ritual.

he'd asked them for eternity. one fateful day in a dark dungeon as he held on to them with the deepest longing he's ever experienced.

he'd asked them for eternity. one fateful day in a dark dungeon as he marked them with a devouring kiss.

he'd asked them for eternity. one fateful day in a dark dungeon when they spoke of a power neither knew the strength of but would experience together.

he'd asked them for eternity. one fateful day in a dark dungeon when the two of them decided that they would be a force of evil wielding powers that could not be reckoned with.

he'd asked them for eternity. and they'd agreed to spend it with him. two souls who saw the darkest parts of each other and said i embrace you wholly...til death do us part.

#Astarion Ancunin #Astarion #Ascended Astarion #Ascendant Astarion #Ilina Gavren #Gan #Astarion x Tav #Astarion romance #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 spoilers #Baldur's Gate 3 spoilers #razrogue writes #BG3 tav #BG3 OC #evil tav #he's evil and tav is evil and together they will be evil in love lol

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razrogue · 2 months

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i just think they're neat!

Ilina Gavren - wood elf, rogue/assassin

#Ilina Gavren #Gan #BG3 tav #BG3 OC #evil tav #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 spoilers #Baldur's Gate 3 spoilers #razrogue screens #they make being evil look good 💅🏾#when one of your evil overlords looks like that how can you say no to them 🥺

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razrogue · 1 month

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whose side am I on? mine.

template

#Ilina Gavren #Gan #BG3 tav #BG3 OC #evil tav #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 spoilers #razrogue renders #I love a character template 😌

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razrogue · 3 months

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thanks to you (Astarion & Tav)

Read on AO3

Summary: A simple visit to a vendor sparked something bigger than he could have ever expected…

Astarion couldn’t recall as a spawn or from his previous life, having anyone on his side that looked after him. Took care of him. Believed in him when others doubted. Gan had been honest about what they wanted even when he hadn’t been so forthright. Even when he was set in his old instinctive ways and trying to keep up his mask, they just chipped away at it at every turn. Many nights they'd walk off from camp, talking about whatever. It was superficial at first, he played the cards he knew. Smile, flirt, seduce, manipulate, it was all familiar for him. Over time though, his usual tactics began failing him. The fractures continued and the facade began to fall away. Then they reached Moonrise and it all seemed like it was ready to come down at last.

She’d introduced herself as Araj Oblodra, trader in the sanguineous arts. A bit over the top he thought to himself but nothing wrong with a little flair. As she chatted away with Gan, he’d noticed her eyes kept darting over to him while they talked stock and potions. Gan noticed it too and finally asked what was her deal.

“You haven't stopped looking at my companion since we walked up,” Gan replied, mildly annoyed. The trader finally spoke up about her sideways glances.

“Perhaps we could discuss your friend. He’s a vampire, no? A spawn perhaps?”

Astarion swiftly threw up his hands innocuously, "Oh don't worry, we're all friends under the Absolute. I won’t bite."

“Oh but I’d prefer if you did. I assume he belongs to you, no?”

Gan glimpsed over at Astarion before answering, barely masking their disdain, “...he’s his own person.”

Araj clapped as if she'd been told a cute joke, “How utterly adorable. You actually let him believe that.”

The audacity of this lady knew no bounds. Gan sensed Gale moving a little closer to them, ready to diffuse if things got a little heated. She proceeded to address him, “do you have a name, spawn?”

“Astarion, b-bb-but wait…” He leaned back. The tension was becoming thick and unnerving, he should have just walked away.

“Good. Now Astarion, I’ve dreamt of being bitten by a vampire since I was a young girl.”

"I’m sorry, what? You want to be bitten?? Actually bitten???" In most situations, people were afraid of that happening and here she was lusting for it.

“To feel your life’s blood slipping away? To dance on the edge between life and death?” The drow closed her eyes as she uttered a barely perceptible moan.

“Yes, I want it. Your efforts won’t go in vain. I can provide you with a potion of legendary power.” Araj crossed her arms as if she was putting up her best and final bartering offer.

“It’s not for sale. I will only part with it if you bite me.”

His response was prompt, though not the one she wanted, "I will have to decline."

“Excuse me?? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and you’re squandering it.”

His tadpole reached out for Gan’s, teasing at the edges of their mind, the sensation quickly building from uneasy to disgusted.

"I gave you my answer," he huffed with finality.

Astarion watched as the vendor ignored him and continued prodding Gan to make him comply with her request. As the minutes passed, a sinking feeling began weighing on him. He was sure he'd just have to work his way through it for all of their sake. Having traveled with Gan for many weeks now, knowing that they hardly ever hesitated when it came to their own wants and needs, he didn't expect what unfolded in that moment. Gan tilted their head at Araj, listening to the drow sulk about Astarion not fulfilling her wish, speaking about him as if he was a thing for her to play with. Astarion had said no. Gan had backed him up. The vendor had ignored them both. He watched as Gan began closing the distance between them. Araj, still prattling on, was oblivious to the small rogue's motions as she approached. He watched in shock as Araj abruptly quieted, eyes widening a bit in terror as she stared at the hooded elf. The drow slowly stepped back and crashed into the table behind her. Bottles and flasks tumbled over and she took the moment to turn around and attend to the mess. Astarion quickly composed himself before Gan turned around to the party and motioned for them to depart.

Leaving the tower, they had a small trek to get back to Last Light Inn. It gave him time to ponder what had happened and why it'd affected him so much. Almost any other time, he would just check out but he didn't. When he was about to slip back into that darkness, they'd kept him out. Astarion wasn't exactly sure why it touched him in such a way. They didn't really do anything amazing. Not like he’d been swept off his feet. No grand gesture or anything. No sweeping declarations of love which the thought of made him queasy to be honest. They just stood up for him. Didn't walk away when he'd needed them most. And he thought to himself they had a habit of doing that. Whether it was someone by his side, a bandage for his wounds, dining together , or just a good laugh, they'd been there. It was all quite frustrating honestly. No one helped worms like him. Not when there was gold to be had and least of all when they gained nothing in return. Even though their first meeting was by dagger, Gan didn't hold it against him. And after they'd told him it might be useful to have a vampire by their side, he always knew where he stood with them.

All these thoughts racing through his mind, he found it hard to settle once they were back at the inn. Shadowheart and Gale were perched on stools while Gan played bartender and topped everyone off. Astarion sat over by himself, nursing his wine goblet. Why was he feeling this way? What was this? He knew he wouldn’t be able to rest until he’d given them a piece of his mind. He quickly knocked back the goblet and strode towards the bar, determined to get this off his chest and out of his mind so he could think clearly again.

Astarion sidled up next to Gale, faking interest in whatever the three of them were chatting about. When he saw an opening, he nodded, hoping they’d picked up his signal. Still engaged, he saw their eyes quickly dart towards the side door, not missing a beat in their discussion with Shadowheart. He remained for a little bit longer, teasing Gale and debating Shadowheart until he was able to slip away during a natural lull in their discussion.

He headed towards the small cliff just outside the inn by the lake. It was just outside of Isobel’s protection but the fairy’s blessing still illuminated him so he felt safe enough anyway. Astarion didn’t know how much time had passed but between his thoughts and the gentle lapping of the water, he didn’t notice that Gan had finally joined him.

They stood closely beside him, peering out across the water into the vast darkness in silence. The two of them continued to stand there, hands almost grazing, until Astarion couldn't stand it anymore.

"I think we need to talk."

He'd turned to face them, ready to get this bit of unpleasantness over with. He'd say what he had to say, listen to them laugh him off, then all of this could be behind them.

Astarion was gearing up to deflect their response because surely this was going to be a disaster but he wouldn't let them see him suffer. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

Gan turned to face him, sliding their cape hood down, freeing their coppery red coils from their hooded confinement. Astarion gasped quietly to himself. This was going to be tougher than he thought and he was wishing he'd drowned the thoughts out with wine so he didn't have to deal with this. They looked up at him and for a quick second he lost himself in their brown depths, until their voice finally broke through the fog.

"Are you all right?"

He didn't expect this to be easy but hearing them ask about his well being was just another crack among the others in his crumbling facade. It wasn't like they'd never asked him before but maybe with the state he was in, this moment felt like a little more than those times. They weren't fresh out of a battle, everyone looking over themselves to make sure no one was injured seriously. This was close and intimate and Astarion decided he better finish quickly.

"What? Oh yes, I think."

He closed his eyes briefly. The scrutiny was too much even though all the pressure was from his own imagination. With a quick breath, he continued.

"I just wanted to thank you."

Gan stood quietly for a minute before finally asking, "thank me for…?"

He swallowed over the building knot in his throat.

"When we were in the tower…" Astarion paused, "...that vile drow." Her insistence turned demand, how she disregarded his response then his presence carried shades of things he didn’t like remembering and could never forget. As they all stood there, the moment growing tense, Astarion was moments away from just saying it was fine. He'd just suffer through it like he always did.

"I spent two hundred years using my body to lure pretty things back for my master." Nights in taverns plying fools with alcohol, lacing every honeyed word, sinking hooks into them until they'd found themselves back in the palace, unceremoniously dumped as food for his master.

"I was a slave. My wants didn't matter. I was there to do his bidding. That was my worth." When you have something repeatedly instilled into you, being told you're unworthy, your value is less than the dirt you walked upon, it becomes a persistent thought in your mind. The bravado was all an act. An act that he played well. He knew his place and his role as a plaything for others. Then a late night in an alley in Baldur's Gate changed everything.

The nerves were getting to him. He fussed with a loose thread on his sleeve, trying to settle them so he could just get through this unfortunate chat.

"You could have asked the same of me. Throw myself at her and get whatever she was offering us. It was probably going to be useful! And we need all the tools we can get..."

Astarion threw his head back. Gods, he just wanted to walk away and drown the rest of his thoughts in the poor excuses for wine inside the inn. He'd go hunting but shadow cursed lands aren't fertile grounds for food.

"Look, you didn't ask me to do something I didn't want to do. And I'm grateful."

Gan, listened and watched as he went through a battery of emotions, before they finally spoke up again.

"I didn't really do anything. You make your own choices now, Astarion."

That one little statement spoken and his knees felt like they'd buckle beneath him. He was making his own choices. There was no master out here since he walked away from the nautiloid crash. No one compelling him to act and behave however they wanted. It was all him now. These were his decisions to make, for better or for worse.

"This is a novel concept, I must admit. And a little intimidating." He turned back to the water, swallowing his discomfort. They'd given him something to ponder without realizing it. Were these feelings he thought he had really about them? Was this about Gan and him coming to terms with something they may have? Or could this be about the newfound freedom he found himself thrust into? A freedom he was trying to understand because centuries had been spent without it. When you're under an overbearing presence that rules your life and it's suddenly snatched away, how do you navigate without it? How do you move about when that domineering hold is all you know?

Astarion cleared his throat. "Yes well…thank you…truly."

Gan stood there quietly for a few moments more before finally turning to leave, "You're welcome."

With a quick pat on his back, they set back off towards the building. Before they'd gotten too far, they called back to him, "Astarion?" He turned towards them with a solemn look.

Gan remarked with a sly smirk, "no one tells my personal attack vampire what to do but me." And with that, Gan walked off, leaving a chuckling Astarion to his thoughts.

#Ilina Gavren #Gan #Astarion Ancunin #Astarion #Astarion x Tav #Astarion romance #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 spoilers #BG3 tav #BG3 OC #Ganarion #otp: hand in despicable hand #long post #razrogue writes #pleases me to finally post one of my razwrimo fics lol

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