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#If you try to homosexuality out of someone they will get gayer on purpose
higgsfigs · 1 year
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Molybdomancy
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years
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the problem with sherlock and watson (yuumori)
Feel free to ignore honestly this is a giant opinionated and not well informed ramble but yeah here it is for those of u that follow me for some reason, this is probably pretty controversial so yeah feel free to scroll past
also spoilers for anime onlys, we’re almost there though
So I’ve been Thinking about these two recently, and yeah, to be fair I’ve literally never read or watched any other adaption of sherlock, so I’m just speaking as to what I can tell, but yeah. I’m not sure at this point if it’s really a complaint or just an observation, but I do have some slightly confounded observations about how things are different from what I expected with them.
Mostly my Confounded Observation is just... Watson is straight?! I don’t mean in a literal way, he definitely has Bi Wife Energy TM but... you know, he’s comparatively straight.
Of course, I understand why the author might want to make sure watson doesn’t really get in the way of sherlock and liam (which is honestly hilarious but understandable) and for the purposes of the story it does make sense, but it’s... you know, again I haven’t consumed literally any other sherlock content so I wouldn’t know but from what I’ve heard watson’s always a flaming homosexual and well, it’s not like this series lacks for those, but?? 
It’s not just that he’s straight in the sense of his sexuality, it’s that... he’s a straight character in the sense that he’s like, normal? Kind of overly normal? I was kind of expecting more out of him, to be honest, and to see him just be like, a functional human being who seems to be doing totally fine in all ways? That... I don’t know, it’s kind of weird. Especially in contrast with Sherlock, who as everyone can tell is violently not doing just fine.
Since this part of the manga will be covered in the anime soon, I think this is timely, but I feel like this is just made painfully obvious when the shit goes down between him and sherlock.
Speaking on the nature of their relationship here, it’s weird. Because you know, the author is clearly going sherliam endgame (istg if they don’t just make it official i cant take this anymore) and I support that lmao, they’re like my favorite dynamic- but yeah, it’s obviously different from the other adaptions, where, you know, sherlock and john are ambiguously gay people.
Like, it’s honestly comical how in this series that is significantly gayer than every other one that watson is so clearly a Heterosexual Man honestly
But Sherlock still, clearly isn’t, and I think there is something to be said about how he feels about John, though of course in the end he... obviously chooses Liam. (and considering John’s kind of ass character in this version, he was right to do so)
I mean, just look at them.
We’ve got this obviously autistic obviously gay man who is violently codependent with this mild mannered british dude. Sherlock’s feelings for this guy are complex, and they’re clearly very different from the ones he has for Liam, but they’re certainly there. Sherlock clearly has no idea of romance, no idea of the boundaries between platonic and romantic relationships (and neither do I, but,,, yeah) and I think what Sherlock feels for Watson is like a queerplatonic relationship, but like.... not reciprocated?? 
It’s so weird for this to be the case, but it so clearly is? In the part where they explore that, it goes into how, like... Sherlock doesn’t really know how to function without Watson, dude’s holding up his entire mental health without even really doing anything, and Sherlock feels fucking awful when he is no longer Watson’s like, #1 person. The fact is, the same thing is going on with him, though they’ve existed like this for years it’s clearly not going to work anymore- Sherlock is basically having to choose between him and Liam, and you know what he’s gonna do. But it’s still an awful feeling for a bond that strong to break.
The thing about it really is that for Watson the tie was never that strong in the first place. Watson is so... without conflict in his character. And this is something that actually honestly bothers me. He’s so lawful good it’s infuriating. He’s steady, he’s calm, he’s rational and he’s emotionally mature, he can manage himself fine and care for everyone he needs to. He’s doing just fine even though Sherlock is caught up in this ridiculous murder drama, and that’s what makes the relationship so... I don’t know, off in this version.
Sherlock needs Watson, and Watson cares about Sherlock, but not nearly to the same extent, and he’s like. Not really doing it right? For someone who’s been with him for presumably years at this point, Watson doesn’t really feel like he knows Sherlock all that well. And that sucks that that’s the truth. 
In every other story with friendship/romance tropes like this, the characters have conflicts like this, but when one person thinks the other doesn’t care for them that way, they’re wrong. It’s like oh no, I’m a burden, I’m being clingy, he’s got a life to get back to and I don’t, I’m too much, he’s better than me etc... those are things Sherlock’s type of character tell themself, but the catch is that’s not actually the case, they’re just Mentally Ill. Having that just... be true in Sherlock’s case is kind of heartbreaking, as much as it’s clearly for the Sherliam agenda.
The problem is just that Watson here is just so lawful neurotypical that he just doesn’t really get Sherlock. He’s got this strict moral code, and he kind of makes it a problem to Sherlock. He says all the things that Sherlock would expect everyone to say, but it’s not what you’re supposed to say, you know? He’s all like murder is bad stop doing that I won’t be your friend if you shoot people we don’t do that >:(, be civil be nice stop putting yourself in danger Don’t Do Drugs etc etc. You know, of course that’s sensible information, but it’s... not what he needs to fucking hear? That’s like the school counselor going hey guys, just say no :D THAT DOESN’T WORK. And you’d think that Watson would get this by now? All it’s doing is hurting him more. It’s genuinely making me dislike Watson, and that’s not something I want to do.
I think it works for the purposes of this specific narrative, because they don’t want to create problems with Watson being left behind, they want to say that he’ll be fine on his own so that it will all work out fine. And yeah, of course I want that, I don’t want there to have to be conflict of sacrificing John’s emotions for Liam, but I feel like they didn’t have to sacrifice John’s character for him. 
This series could have a Watson who cares deeply about Sherlock and has some weaknesses and conflicting emotions about him without them being romantic. We haven’t seen how Watson dealt with Sherlock’s “death” yet, I don’t think, but... I don’t really like the thought that this Watson would honestly be fine. He’d be sad, he’d be mad, but he’d get over it and get on with his life and is objectively in a better situation without Sherlock. Yeah, I just... don’t like that.
I want to see a Watson who understands Sherlock. Isn’t that what he’s supposed to be? I want to see a Watson who cares for Sherlock so much that he has to make hard decisions, that he has to make the wrong decisions sometimes, that he has internal conflict because of it. I want a Watson who gets that Sherlock is nothing without him, who gets what’s going on with him and Liam, who’s trying to help him and keep him on track and maybe failing. I want a Watson who’s genuinely conflicted about leaving Sherlock for Mary because he knows it will hurt him, who worries about his ability to take care of everybody, who shows his problems from you know, being in a literal war, who wonders how to portray Sherlock in his books. We can have that without losing Sherliam, man. He doesn’t have to be Hideyoshi Nagachika (god, no one needs to go thru that shit), he just has to have at least a bit of emotion, bro. I want to see a Watson who’s struggling with what to do. Like. Even once. 
Instead we have this. This dude who is just... a nice, rather clueless guy who helps out sometimes and who’s just a bit too much of a rule follower to fit into a story like yuumori.
Sorry to just complain on main here I just think he was done a bit dirty here and it’s bothering me, if u have thoughts or info about other portrayals feel free to hmu i have become a bIT hyperfixated
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exobarf · 2 years
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Speculation and Hypotheticals: Madison Cawthorn
(My wife gave me this challenge of not swearing while writing this article. We’ll see how it goes.)
So, Madison Cawthorn, eh? When I first heard his name, I thought to myself, “Isn’t that the affair website?” But then I realized it’s just the name of a guy sitting in a wheelchair who tweets from a dark closet. It’s a name that sounds highfalutin and official. Like a Pap Smear. It has a tone about it that suggests meeting him is going to be both uncomfortable and violating. I mean, I could go on and on about his political and personal ethics, his counterproductive and insulting voting and legislative record, as well as the sexual misconduct allegations against him, but why bother?
Understand, I’d make fun of the fact that he’s in a wheelchair, because if anyone deserves to be mocked for anything and everything, it’s him. But…
I don’t like mocking disabled people…
If I indeed had prejudice against disabled people, the fact that he’s disabled would be like the 40th thing about him that absolutely sucks…
I am one of the people who genuinely thinks Madison Cawthorn is gay.
Legitimately.
Like, full on 90 mph, just aggressively chugging twig like it supplied him with oxygen. And it’s all good, I mean, who doesn’t like penis? Even if you’re heterosexual, you spend the first 5 years of adolescence just masturbating anyway.
Unless you’re the kind of guy that masturbates and then cries. Don’t judge. It’s an emotional ride.
Love it, enjoy it. No one cares about where or how he would theoretically like to be bent over and impaled on a throbbing purple meat hammer. (Jealous.) No one cares. I personally think he’d live a much happier and less angry life if he just came out and disclosed that he was having an affair with the other gentleman he hangs out with. I think his name’s Greene.
I could be wrong about the name, I’m not much of a political person. The one with the dresses, underbite and the weird mullet.
Now before I go further, understand that I'm speaking as a bisexual male, so I've certainly had my share of dressing in drag and cocaine filled orgies. So, I think my bear credentials are in order to continue with this thought experiment.
Now, why do I think he’s gay? I can list my own theories, but nothing concrete.
He’s a bit too defensive about those photos to my taste. In my experience, if someone gets called out for being gay and IS, normally they’re joking about it and just dismiss it. He seems to be breaking out more of the “real man” talk. That’s usually a pretty big indicator that you enjoy being knee deep in pepe.
I’ve seen the pictures and I’m not completely stupid.
If I were around the GOP mouth breathers in Congress on the regular and one of my partners in crime was a hateful horse-woman wearing a dress, I’d give serious thought to jumping teams, too.
No one cares about him possibly being gay. Well, his constituents probably would, because they’re just as “castrated village idiot” as he is. And of course, there’s the age old political pitfall that he isn’t what the people of North Carolina (and various corporate interests) bought and paid for. But the rest of the world couldn’t give any less of a pickled rat turd about which set of genitals he would like to drool and stare at longingly. In this scenario, that is. Again, this is all hypothetical.
What they WOULD care about in this scenario, would be the fact that he was clearly gayer than the entire cast of “The “L” Word” and then shows up at his job, purposely trying to make life harder for people born the same way as he is...
Homosexual, that is. Not insanely cruel and evil. (The word “Evil” is hyperbolic. People who are evil are usually not as horrible at doing villain things and pleasing their partners. Just saying.)
If he were gay, I really wish that he would just stray from the path of the right, not because it would benefit everyone around him, (and the rest of the world) but by getting rid of the shackles of right-wing sexual thought, he is free to be his fabulous self. Screw politics for a second. I’m not saying he’d a be a better person, but he’d sure be happier. Could you imagine if he accepted himself and then built his life off self-love, instead of external hate? The possibilities are immense and amazing!
He needs to just take to heart the reality that it is perfectly amazing, right and good to be gay. If you’re not, good for you! But, if you are, dolphins are sometimes naturally gay, and dolphins are good people.
All I’m saying, is that hypothetically, if he just gave into his inner twink, he might not be so quick to try and take rights away from people populating his bed and stuffing him with whatever amount of self-loathing that comes from 6 inches of girthy mediocrity. (That was a cheap shot. I regret nothing.)  
Regardless of the accuracy of this little comic thought experiment, he’s clearly dealing with some deep-seated issues regarding his sexuality. And, you know what? Most of us have at one point or another. I’m 41 and still trying to figure it out.
And that’s okay. But, when I feel shameful about masturbating, I don’t then try to ban the activity for everyone else and then talk about “what a real man does”.
And for doing what apparently, “a real man does”, his former Daddy, Donald Trump has predictably distanced himself. So, just to get the standards right...
Peeing on underage girls? Kosher.
Letting a significant percentage of the population die of COVID? Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
But, if you wear lingerie and look like you could suck the logo off an iPad, Grampa-Brother Trump is going to put you in the loser’s corner.
It’s the smarmy duplicity people are done with, and that’s WAY before you get to the fact that he’s just an awful human being. The bras and dresses that he likes to wear in his off time only make his internal shame that much more festive and fabulous. Cawthorn, Mr. Greene, Manchin (who by the way has the most vaginal face I’ve ever seen on something not between someone’s legs, which makes his last name even funnier) and all the rest of them…
Just a bunch of callow, scared little men that are completely afraid of women. And as Master Yoda said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to [sic] violent Republican fisting.”
Also, just in case anyone was wondering. Due to physical limitations, in this situation he is most likely what the literature calls (looks at notes) a “power bottom.”
There is a reason that right now I’m dwelling on his hypothetical-and-unproven-but-in-my-opinion-highly-probable-sexuality and bedroom antics. It’s because whatever happens in his bed, regardless of the feather boa he would hypothetically use to asphyxiate himself prior to climax…
…is no one’s business but his own.
Just like a woman’s body is no one's business but her own.
Just like an LGBT person’s bedroom activities are no one's business but their own.
Madison Cawthorn is one of THE prime examples of Republican duplicity and a hallmark for the reality that the right-wing apparatus is just a short-term-investment money machine. Its sole purpose is to fleece gullible people out of their vote, their money and ultimately…
…their lives.
So, if Sassy Pants Cawthorn doesn’t approve of people talking or speculating about his sexuality and apparel style, he should probably keep his stupid head out of the way other people live their lives.
He ruins people’s lives with words, votes and lies, unmindful that the rest of the world could easily ruin his life and his career with nothing but the truth. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s happening, and my body is ready. Madison Cawthorn could be for gay people the same way he is for North Carolina, namely that he will turn around and do his best to make sure he profits off your misery, but at the end of the day… he really is one of you.
Is he gay? Probably not. Maybe. Potentially. Doubtful. But I personally think he is.
By the way, I’ve just been informed that Mr. Greene is in fact something resembling a woman. My bad.
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years
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sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him
using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful
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no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF
Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things
Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones
But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍
Some highlights I thought were very funny:
watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem
sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!
watson: visible pain
This clearly happens like every day or so with them
but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay
have you considered tho. have you considered them
have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them
They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.
Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife
Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME
They're... they certainly are.
ALSO OH MY GOD.
THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"
BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW
BRB SOBBING
CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER
The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married
Its so fucking funny.......
I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh
watson: I'm engaged!
sherlock: *pained groaning*
watson: do you... not like her?
sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.
watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me
sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*
watson: *in fucking agony*
sherlock: good for you!
I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT
ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S
I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main
The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.
And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.
I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?
I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy
But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem
Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly
Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER
cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.
Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny
Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.
LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH
SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS
Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like
Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!
watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you
Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT
watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days
sherlock: makes a deduction
watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!
sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol
watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait
watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!
sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.
watson: alright :)))))
AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS
So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is
And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?
LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.
HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???
AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK
Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible
sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked
and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS
the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her
and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED
and the dude just LEAVES
After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations
Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today
Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON
Watson: ITS FIVE PM
and:
Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE
Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU
Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats
Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.
Sherlock, exasperated: yes!
I love them your honor.
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