#IVE NEVER CRIED THIS MUCH AT A SHOW | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thekingofspin · 6 months

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‼️OFMD SEASON 2 EPISODE 8 SPOILERS‼️

I AM NOT DOING GOOD. LIKE AT ALL.

IZZY NO.

HE WAS MY FAVOURITE.

I WAS JUST SAYING ABOUT HOW COOL HE WAS IN THIS EPISODE AND HE GOES AND DIES.

HE DOSENT EVEN GET TO SEE LUCIUS AND BLACK PETE GET MARRIED.

AND THEN ED AND STEDE OPEN AN IN NEXT TO WHERE HES BURRIED.

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE

I DONT THINK IVE EVER CRIED MORE OVER A SHOW AND IVE SEEN GOOD OMENS S2

HES MY FAVOURITE I LOVE HIM WHY.

#ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #IM ACTUALLY UGLY CRYING RN LIKE FULLY SOBBING #ofmd #ofmd izzy #izzy hands #I LOVE HIM WHY #I CANT DO THIS #I MISS HIM SO MUCH ALREADY #IVE NEVER CRIED THIS MUCH AT A SHOW #RIP IZZY HANDS #AND BUTTONS LANDS ON HIS GRAVE!!#i am not okay #ofmd izzy hands #israel hands #ed teach #stede bonnet #LOOK AROUND YOUR SURROUNDED BY FAMILY #DONT DO THIS

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luck-of-the-drawings · 9 months

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oh the dread, oh the worry! you love your sister so much and you need to know shes okay. you trust her but you cant trust the world, and more than anything else you cant trust yourself

#jrwi riptide #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide spoilers #jrwi show #gillion tidestrider #edyn tidestrider #RAHHH IVE HAD THIS ROTTIN IN DRAFTS FOR A BIT but im finally here n ready to POST!!!!#SO THE LIL GILLION AND EDYN ARC HUH??#gillion as a character makes me so emotional. he means so well yet sucks so bad in every way he wish he didnt #HE CARES SOO MUCH ABOUT HIS SISTER. MAN HAS NEVER CRIED EXCEPT FOR THE DAY HE SAW HER AGAIN #HE WAS SOOO HAPPY TO SEE HER AND FIND OUT SHES OKAY. I ALSO REMEMBER SCREAAAAMIN WHEN SHE FIRST APPEARED #I HAD BEEN THINKIN ABOUT EDYN FOR SO LONG... ohhh older sisters where u at... u understand... only us older sisters get it #andNOW WHERE IS SHE..? WHERE IS SHE NOW.... working with the navy to 'undo' what the undersea has done to her precious baby brother #OKAY ENOUGH EMOTIONS TIME FOR ME TO TALK ABT MY ART #REAAALLY THIS IS ONE OF MY BEST DOODLE PAGES SO FAR. IM SO PROUDA THE COLORS N THE SCENES AND THE EMOTIONS #the lil scene with edyn comforting gillion after 'a day of alot of failure. that was the first we ever saw of edyn right? i love my colors #A MIRROR! edyn painted in red when shes often blue. framed by rock and coral and memory sharing bracelets and fire.#A MEMORY! a recent event! finding her at the bar and meeting her at a tavern. its cathartic to hear your older sister tell you its okay #even more cathartic to have her remind you that you are not your tragedies. you were just a kid. you didnt deserve what happened.#you really missed having her here #OH BUT THE NEXT. A NOTE LEFT BEHIND. NOTHING ELSE. i love you a million gillion #BUT THATS NOT A REASSURANCE IS IT? its a trust fall. emphasis on the fall. emphasis on the needle in your chest as wind rushes past #you anticipate the ground but you wish you could anticipate her arms. you wish you could trust. you need to trust. so why cant you?#instead you lash out. again. just like last time. just like always. you were never good at controlling your emotions #all you do in the end is break stuff. none of them can trust you. thats why she cant tell you. thats why he didnt tell you. noone trusts yo #chips got way too many damn belts btw. put some o those back boy u do NOT need all that mess jingling around ur gay hips. you FRUIT!!!!!!!!#I liked the scene with jay n chip dragging gillion around. its a comical scene ofc and i LOVE that balance here. but that sadness remains.#they care about gillion so much..... auuwuuuu.....#OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS. I RLY LIKE DRAWING DIFFERENT TEARS FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRYING #when the tears well up so big from uncontainable joy that you cant even see

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milkbreadtoast · 5 months

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ai is just so fucking bleak man it makes me want to end it all...

taking everything joyful about life... everything i ever wanted or loved or hoped for... and not just that, everything else too... no job is safe... the only way i can go on is to pretend it doesnt exist and just keep creating and trying as we always have done it haha but meanwhile it just keeps getting worse and im filled with sickening dread... the only hope I have is that people will continue to stick together and protect each other even as ai tries to destroy and take everything from us and our identity and our joy sorry to sound poetic and pretentious but i just need to get the vent out. its bleak man.

#im being vague bc im embarrassed to specify more but it just... the future seems so bleak bc of ai #and... this is just one small thing #everything about the current world and the future looks bleak to me #the only way i can keep going on is if i pretend everything is fine and the same as how it was #but the fact that i can even manage to do that shows my immense privilege #vent #delete later #sidenote i havent been glazing or art shielding my art (i never tried glaze)#because i just... i give up man. like im in denial. i want to just pretend like i can post it like normal and itll be ok #i want to blindly trust #its the same w me posting my art and blindly trusting that ppl wont repost #except ai is much worse than reposting....#ha... the only meager protection ive been doing #is watermarking but not even obtrusively #and posting at a lower res (but ive been posting higher res on here...)#hhaaa... i want ppl to be able to see my hard work and tbe colors #and artshield makes tbe colors ugly #cries #unrelated but i feel like ive been estranged from my friends lately too #so thats prob also contributing to why i feel so sad #im too old to be having a tantrum like this but isnt this what blogs like tumblr r for? so i can vent here instead of irl... ha ha

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cloudydays69 · 6 months

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HOW I BE AFTER WATCHING THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE OF HANNIBAL RN.

#nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #ive never cried SO HARD over a show in my LIFE #sobbing #hannigram #HHHH #my eyes are like power washers from how much water's coming out of them

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hella1975 · 1 year

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choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her

#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me #and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front #always always bowl me over #like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time #like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that #when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair #but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard #so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment?#and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's #even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with #bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc #i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum #BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart #like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me #it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE #and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry #and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls #that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good #and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her #that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension #and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone #but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her #i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me #but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her #girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH #hella goes home

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tamagotchikgs · 5 days

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last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here

#but.#even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16 #i traveled across the country just to see her again #and it fucking sucked #she ripped that wound right back open #which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come #she made all the plans #honestly the train trip there was nice #i got to experience a lot of cool things #but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life #just nonstop #and now ive finally been away for awhile again #but i still miss her #& i dont know why #but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win #maybe it's just my roll #say all these nice things n then immediately flip #she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there #& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO...#like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it #but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe #but anyway. again. i stayed #over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay #n she'd do it again #until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH #she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried #but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done #but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster #even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating.#what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me

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braimee · 3 months

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starmania has ended in paris and i feel like absolute shit

like. what am i supposed to do with all that free time??? how am i supposed to move on with my life??

#starmania #starmania 2022 #i think ive never cried this much over a piece of media before #ive literally been crying since the 28th #call me johnny the way i sometimes zone out and indulge in existential despair #so so so grateful to have been able to go see the show so much tho #also very grateful for the amazing people i got to meet

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olliecoded · 3 months

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everyone is always like yesss dream big ❤️ but it's like. the bigger i dream the more fucking awful i feel. there are so many things that i want so, so, so unbelievably deeply and i KNOW that i'm never ever going to fucking have them. what am i even supposed to do with that. like how am i supposed to make that into something

#sorry this is soooo humiliating its just been on my mind so much lately #because like. the only thing i want to do is professional acting. it's all i want. acting is the ONLY THING i want to do my entire life.#the more shows i work on this year that push me and improve me as an actor the more i remember how this is the only thing for me #and i have a career plan thats not acting but i'll be fucking miserable i know i will #what am i supposed to do. like i KNOW i'm not going to make it as an actor. like i don't have any connections so i'm fucked.#u cannot do SHIT without having a million friends & family members in the film industry already #plus ive already gotten a fuck ton of rejections (<- 2) from local theatres this year so im also probably just a shit actor #so what do i do. literally what do i do!!#ive cried over this a lot lately. i don't know. i'm trying to get over it #it's kind of like trying to get over someone u've loved ur whole life and will always love and will never get to have #except worse #ok anyway. joke's on me i suppose. goodnight before i kill myself #hello world

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thanatoseyes · 5 months

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I just finished Loki season 2 and bawled my eyes out for thirty minutes.

#loki series #ugh just ugh #ive never cried this much over any show #except maybe voices that movie with ryan Reynolds

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roseworth · 1 year

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do u ever have those days where you just feel every emotion at like 10x capacity for no reason

#hence why i literally cried at a screenshot from a show ive NEVER SEEN #nothings even happened today im just feeling things too much #not necessarily a bad thing im just having a lot of feelings about random things

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ouchhq · 2 years

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,,

#im exhausted #im so tired of everything i just cried my eyes out and i want to throw up #i am so tired of meaning nothing to no one i feel like im just here to be kind and show people theyre loved and appreciated and get #treated like thats just what i am and what i do #like . none of my friends from different friend groups apparently give a shit about me #i feel like im always putting my feelings and my whole being aside to make sure everyone feels valued and appreciated but no one does that #for me #i have been feeling like SHIT for forever and lately more than usual but i say nothing because i dont wanna burden people with the weight #of me and my issues… but i subtly let them know and i know they know #and still people come to me only for support theyre like ‘hey how areu u’ and when i //jokingly// say i feel like shit (because i dont #bother lying anymore) they just dismiss it and proceed to say how they’re having issues and whatever and being the stupid caring idiot i am #i ask them if they wanna talk about it and all of that and i try to support them but i never ever get that back and it fucking sucks !!!!!!!#IT SUCKS ASS I WANNA SCREAM #i feel so lonely #i was talking about this with some people how i always try to make everyone fee comfortable even if it means making myself feel #uncomfortable and i always put myself aside and let others shine and #stupid example but listen: i went to gardaland with my friends last night. there were 3 of us. i was always ALWAYS behind them #third wheeling #why? because theyre much more confident and generally speaking self absorbed and they feel that they have to be at the front at all times #and im not saying this because i dislike them im just saying because ive known them for years and ive studied their behavior #and i let them stay in front butbi spent the whole night walking behind them and waiting in line behind them and they just left me there #but how come im always the only one who tries to fucking care for everyone ????? is anyone ever gonna care for me?? ever????#i feel so lonely and worthless i just want to cry

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mejomonster · 2 years

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Can't fucking express how much I love makoto ;-;

I really liked kiwami 2s closure scenes for majima and makoto

#yakuza kiwami 2 #lb #idk what it is but. ok obviously yakuza 0 ans the kiwami 2 majima story asded later than original 2 #but makoto/majimas synamic is SO well written. so well done in scenes #they WORK they parallel they have emotional weight which tracks right for both ans hurts #my heart in a good way #kaoru_kiryu in kiwami 2? better than i Expected (as i actually rhink kaoru was fairly consistently written and #the romance was fine. logical for both tho not necessarily needed. short lived as well whixh is in character. it #was at least more time given to kaoru then yumi in 1 which was a weak point #but like. kaoru was Meant to parallel kiryu but just. doesnt as much. partly cause they both isolate and self #destruct so easily.#whereas idk majima and makoto were stuck together by necessity so had more time to show off their parallels?#also kiryus just nore of a loner. idk it just didnt hit me emotionally as much. altho i do think i felt kaoru was fairly consistent and i #liked her. and understood kiryus actions.#but yeah like. makoto and majima? idk that just workwd for me a LOT #maybe cause i relate to them both. and its realistic!!!#its realistic to never confess u love someone when u were in crises then drift apart. but still #want to know if they ended up okay and say thank you. then let go. thays like a REAL thing ive gone thru and know ppl #who went thru. so yeah i cried. and i get why they cried.#but like kissing rught before a bomb goes off lol? im probablt never doiny that

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upsddwn · 2 years

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i feel so disoriented after the stranger things 4 finale that it genuinely feels like i made the whole thing up. like i cannot wrap my mind around the fact that it’s canon and not just an insane fever dream.

#justice for eddie #justice for max #i cried so much #ive truly never been so anxious watching a movie or tv show in my entire life #stranger things 4 #stranger things 4 spoilers

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orcelito · 2 years

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Ok I finished the scene for transAction au. I'm now up to 10k words, with 2 more scenes planned before I post. Relatively shorter scenes tho, so it is Approaching...

#speculation nation #transAction shit #im getting rly excited hfksbdjd i rly wanna finally show off what all ive got #akira is SO far gone and he doesnt even realize it yet #'why do i think so much about how pretty my friend is?'#'... it must be my concern for my friend. of Course. im just glad akechi doesnt have any bruises rn'#like akira's never had a crush like this b4 and the fact that it is a Gay Crush is not helping #nothing prepared him to be able to identify what this is. + he only turned 10 TODAY (in fic lol)(for the current scene)#theyre both so bitty baby 10 year olds and the world is so big and hostile and they just know they enjoy being around each other #lmao i feel so bad. goro's already cried Twice. & akira will definitely have his turns later too...#im just rly driving home how close they are & how Dependent they are on each other. so that the stuff later in this au hurts Even More lol #still a bit undecided on what all goro will go through 🤔 we'll see

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lovecrazedpup · 1 year

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crying over him when his song comes on

#im so tired #why am i never enough #ive never been enough and im gonna fucking kill myself for it #i just want him to talk to me #hes probably calling other girls rn and not even watching his shows #probably sexting other girls too #just bc im not enough anymore #bc im not whoring myself out to him anymore bc i realise im fucking disgusting #im abt to fucking break i rlly cant do this anymore #but im gonna come crawling back to him tmrw bc i love him #and i fucking hate myself for it #this is the first time ive actually felt *loved* and i dont get it bc ive never cried this much over anyone before #i dont know what to do #usually id call a friend of ours rn bc i dont feel as annoying but i *know* hes busy so i cant #but im so scared of cutting rn since im 8 months clean #and itd ruin christmas #but i just know if i go ‘hey im scared of cutting myself rn’ itll be manipulative #but im so scared #i wish he cared for me as much as i do him #i wish he understood how to deal with me but i know no matter what i say is just gonna come across as red flags and hes gonna leave #he says he understands bpd and when i sent resources he was like ‘yea i know’ so i didnt go in depth abt my triggers but also FUCK #isnt it kinda common bpd knowledge that ignoring (intentional or not) them can set them off ????#and like aidboabdksnskandvak i fucking just want COMFORT i just want him to call me and reassure me and say that its ok #that im not a burden for feeling this way and that im ok and that he loves me #im trying so fucking hard to bottle all of this up but every day is getting worse and worse #and i KNOW im gonna blow up and say smth i can never take back #but what am i meant to do #im trying to be like . yknow . not a mentally ill manipulative standard sterotypical bpd gf #please i am begging you to respond #jamie.txt

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kath-artic · 1 year

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and you know who comes and checks on me? my dad

#like yes he has caused me a lot of emotional damage and its not fair to my mom to not acknowledge that #but me and him have talked about it and hes apologized and hugged me and cried and showed remorse #yes he put too much of an emotional burden on me. yes the stories he told me made me weirdly obsessed with fixing his mistakes #and with fixing him and being the person he needed #but ive told him i cant be his emotional dumping ground and he apologizes and tries to do better #yes id like it if he stopped drinking. thatd be awesome bc i love the person my dad is when hes sober #but he doesnt break shit. he doesnt try to hit me or throw things at me #he doesnt tell me he hates me or that im embarrassing or that my experiences dont matter because his are worse #well. hes come kinda close to that last one but it was more of a tone deaf joke #it was when i was morbidly depressed about that breakup and he said something along the lines of 'at least hes still alive'#which plays into those unhealthy connections i have with my dad #bc i was so sad about that breakup bc i was convinced that i could prove love was real and keep it and that maybe that would fix my dad #since he never got over the death of his ex girlfriend #but thats a different story #my mom has never learned how not to be a victim and i pity her to an extent #but come on.

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