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#IT'LL GET DONE I PROMISE!!
akaanonymouth · 1 year
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I can't apologise enough that my Berena Winter event fic still isn't finished, but I'm writing every night, it's just that I've gone off on a bit of a tangent at the minute and had to research traditional Afghan children's fairytales/ stories. For reasons that are ultimately negligible in the fic but I need for authenticity and peace of mind. Sorry 😂
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kayvsworld · 4 months
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sorry to be doing mcu throwback complaints again and EXTRA sorry for it to be about cacw and aou, sorry, i just am thinking again that if marvel had. in aou. committed to letting steve rogers see that captain america graffiti calling him a fascist with his own two eyes i would have forgiven many of their subsequent deeds and crimes
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quinloki · 2 months
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Canon Characters vs OC vs x Reader
Disclaimer: This is just my two cents, and my perspective on things, and I'm not trying to lay down the law for everyone. I needed to just put this to words though, in order to sleep.
I was thinking about this because of a post I saw, and some, we'll say, kind of useless comments associated with the post. Mean-spirited stuff.
Normally, in one ear and out the other, but the vibes just kicked me off down a rabbit hole of sorts an I wanted to try to put some of my thoughts to words.
First, some style vibes:
Canon x Canon Canon/Canon stories are, to me, like reading an episode of that show. I'm sitting down in front of a TV or whatever, and I'm experiencing the story As A Viewer. I like this style because I don't really have to expend much energy and I just kind of roll with whatever's happening. Generally some sort of 3rd person perspective.
OC x canon OC/Canon stories are like being on a carnival ride. I'm sitting in a car on a roller-coaster, and maybe the OC is sitting next me. I'm experiencing the story more deeply than strictly canon stories, but my connection with the OC is no deeper than say, my connection with Katniss Everdeen when I read The Hunger Games. Sometimes 3rd person, sometimes first person.
Reader x canon Reader/Canon (or Reader x/ OC) is like putting on a VR helmet. I don't get much physical input about the "Reader OC" because I'm experiencing the story through their eyes. I don't expect the reader to be me, but there's a bigger feeling of immersion to be had. Some description might happen cause it's relevant to the story, and it's still a type of ride, I can't jump the rails on the roller coaster, after all. (Even with a VN you still follow the tracks). Sometimes first person, sometimes second person (I'm partial to 2nd person perspective, but that's just me).
I love Fan Fiction, I love it. All of it, and man even more than anything, what I love is that I'm going to dislike 80% of it. Because that 80% was written for someone who is not me. (Hell, that number's probably closer to 99% if we're looking at ALL fandoms, but I digress).
Second - The VENT:
What got me the most in the post that prompted this, was someone saying "Bring back the Mary Sue OCs!" and then they went on to describe something more detailed, and I just -
Look, respectfully, fuck you.
The point is, you're not going to be happy no matter what. Whether it's "mary sue" OCs, or x readers, or alternative universes, or a ship you don't like, you're going to find something to be unhappy about.
Cause people have been bitching about all styles of fan fiction since the first "You've Got Mail" chimed in 1991. And until 1998 and ff.net you really had to hunt for it, and until 2007 and Ao3 the idea of tagging a fic for any reason wasn't really a thing. Every click was a surprise! \o/
I just have seen the same song and dance a dozen times. It's exhausting. People become okay with OCs and decide x readers are the enemy, and before that OCs were *all* Mary Sues and cringe and people who made OCs were the enemy, and before OCs people who wrote even a little OOC were the enemy, and people who wrote AUs were the enemy, and you can write fan fic but it HAS to be Canon Compliant, and everyone MUST be in-character at all times - "They would not fucking say that" was the enemy.
Look, just please - please - in any capacity, stop it with the "All X style of story telling is crap" mindset. There's over a dozen different ways to do x readers alone. I know 20 x reader writers and I don't think any of us have the same style, preferences, or vibes.
I've had a lot of comments along the lines of "I thought I hated x readers, but I really loved this." on a few different fics I've written. Sometimes it's not the style of the fic, sometimes it's the style of the writer, and my Brother In Christ - you're going to have to read some awful shit to shuffle through the thousands of writers out there to find the vibes that resonate with you.
Ostracizing entire swathes of fan fic because you need something to be "The Enemy" so you can lift up something else, and then bitching you can't find anything new to read seems like a personal problem.
And I know y'all are scrolling by TONS of posts that don't interest you, every day, as a matter of course. So don't give me that "clogging up the tag" BS, because we deserve to be here same as anyone else in the fandom.
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fanartfunart · 3 days
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A Mirror of the Past
Chapter 1.
Summary: Link is the Hero of Legend, an adventurer who fought Ganon, rescued maidens, controlled time and seasons, fought Ganon again, and Ravio gladly sought out that Hero when he could. But before all that: Ravio was… just a scared kid, with a lot of people expecting him to be more while a war for the Triforce broils over Lorule.
Linked Spirit AU Ravio's version of alttp- but literally no need to know the au tho, its pretty much just Lorule alttp
Warnings: canon character death, violence, angst
Ao3: here!
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The Legends of Lorule speak of a Golden Land… in which lays the triforce, a divine object, left behind as the great goddesses ascended to the Sacred Realm. Lorule prospered under the shadow of the Triforce, a golden mirror of the sacred. However, the Triforce held a wish making power. Soon people began to fight for such power. The desire to hold the mighty triforce drove many to madness, undoing the very order and unity it was made to represent. The royal family have kept it secured against intruders, where none can touch it. But war brews in Lorule. Many aim to take the Triforce, even if it means dismantling the throne. Sickness, thievery, and distrust is sewn into the land. A strange haze of evil seems to hang in the air, waiting to strike… 
“Ravio… I am Princess Hilda of Lorule… The Wizard Drahnim has destroyed all but one barrier to the Triforce, I am the last seal… You must find me… Help me… Please.”
Ravio startled out of bed. He fumbled hastily with blankets and stumbled out of bed, nearly tripping over himself. 
“What are you doing?” his uncle asked, frowning softly. He secured a leather bracelet to his wrist and a sword to his back.
Ravio took in a deep, calming breath, “I… had a nightmare.”
“Go back to bed,” he said, voice steady and sure, “I’m going out, I’ll be back in the morning.”
“...Where are you going?” Ravio asked, shuffling closer. He looked up with big green eyes, hoping for a hint of reassurance. His uncle frowned.
He turned around, running a nervous hand over his pink-blond hair, “...I’ll be back. Just stay inside tonight.” His uncle opened the door to a howl of wind and rain, and shut it, disappearing into the night.
Ravio took a step back away from the door and crawled back into bed, wrapping his blankets around his shoulders. It only made sense, to stay inside, as his uncle said. The howling winds were treacherous enough, let alone whatever else lay behind the door. He curled up into his blankets, considering how to occupy his mind away from the downpour and the dream.
“Help… me…please,” The voice from the dream whispered again. Weak, with a sense of broken pride in the words. As if she had exhausted all other options. 
Ravio took in a deep breath, covering his ears, “Look mysterious voice, I’m sure this is super important, but perhaps you can find another person who’s better built for-”
“I’m in the castle dungeon… HURRY”
He yelped at the urgency in her tone. He jumped out of the bed, racing over to grab his hood and boots. Stumbling, he got up to the door, then paused. A lantern. He half tripped over himself. He leaned half his body into the chest to grab the lantern. He raced out of the door, tugging the hood closely around his face, nearly covering his eyes. The downpour of rain obscured his view and beat down on him hard. Ravio nearly ran into a tree. 
“Ohhh this is a bad idea- bad idea-” He gasped his breaths, turning to find the proper path to the castle. He cowered behind a bush as he spotted a soldier pass. He didn’t need anybody else telling him to go home, or else he would just do it…. At least it was the right spot. He looked around and dashed across the grounds of the castle, weaving through until he was able to find a pathway obscured by a bush. 
He whined a little and took in a deep breath as he jumped into the dark passage. His boots were muddy against the stone of the castle. Ravio swallowed, slowly following the passageway. He heard someone cough and he stumbled backward, flattening himself against the wall. The large shadowed figure ahead slouched against the opposite wall, and eventually fell entirely against it. Ravio’s eyes strained in the dark. “Uncle?”
The man looked up at the sound, “...Ravio?” he coughed again, “Boy, come here”
Ravio inched closer, eyes widening at his uncle's state. Wounds deep, clothing staining darkly. Ravio took a step back again. “Un-Uncle- What- what do I-”
“No, come here. I had hoped to protect you from destiny, but it appears I can not…” His uncle reached up and grabbed his small hand. It marked him red. “Take this bracelet-” he pushed the old leather bracelet and a sword into Ravio’s hands. “I hope it will protect you….” 
Ravio looked at him wide-eyed, fumbling with the sword and pushing it back into his uncle's hands. “No- no no, I can’t do this!”
“Find the princess….she is…your-” With a slow rattling breath, his uncle fell limp.
“Uncle?” Ravio shook his shoulder, “She’s my what? Uncle?” He shook him a few more times, frantic, "Uncle wake up! Wake up!" He looked around. Ran back towards the opening he came through. But the passage was obscured again, and there was no stairs or ladder. He jumped and strained, but it was futile. 
He stood under the passage entry, glancing back at the limp figure. “Uncle?” He asked quietly, voice breaking. He dabbed at his face, pulling his hood closer over his head. Quietly, he walked back to him, gently leaning to press his forehead against his Uncle’s. He sobbed, sniffling and gasping his breaths. “I love you,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry-”
He let out a breath. He stood and turned to run down the passage.
Ravio quietly sneaked into the castle proper. Carefully, he tiptoed along the edges of the walls, hiding behind a statue. He watched the soldiers patrol the room, eyes flickering across their path. He waited until their backs were turned, and rushed across the room, the heat of lava warming his face. 
He raced down a hall and took the first door. The one straight ahead was locked. He turned to the door on the right. The door clicked behind him. In front of him, a soldier turned and looked at him. 
“Intruder!” he announced. The soldier raised his sword. Ravio screamed, raising his hands up to shield his face. He stumbled backwards in a panic, back hitting the wall. A twang of power. The bracelet glowed a vibrant purple hue. The sword hit the purple light and a painted sword clashed back against it. Ravio stared wide-eyed. The soldier attempted another swing, and the magically drawn sword mirrored its arch, clattering against it again.
Ravio stumbled away from the wall, eyes flickering to the key on the soldier’s belt. The magical sword vanished. Ravio circled around the soldier, snatching the key and scrambling to the door, fumbling to unlock it. 
“Halt!” the soldier shouted. 
Ravio shut the door with a slam and jumped back as a thunk rang against the door. He scrambled to lock the door again.
He heaved his breaths, and glanced at the bracelet. "Ah." He whispered, swallowing. "That's what you do. Never would’ve imagined that."
He closed his eyes, letting himself rest for a moment… The voice came back, “Where are you?! Hurry!”
“My heart needs to restart! Come ON,” Ravio shrieked to the air. He turned to the locked door ahead and tested the lock with the soldier’s key. The door clicked open. He sighed in relief. He slipped through and began the rest of the journey to the dungeon.
He followed twists and turns, hiding behind statues, throwing pottery to distract soldiers and scrambling deeper and deeper into the castle. He found the dungeon nearly on accident, stepping down the stairs to avoid another soldier’s view. He glanced into the room, a barred cell visible in the corner. Ravio slowly inched down the rest of the stairs, leaning around the corner of the wall. A soldier with a flail stood guard beside the princess’s cell. The keys jangling against the soldier's hip.
He looked around nervously. Surely he could do something to avoid this. The lamp. He threw the lamp across the room. It landed with a thunk and rolled into a banner, catching the fabric on fire.
"What the-" the soldier swore several times, and fumbled to attempt to put the fire out. Ravio dashed forward and unlatched the key loop. The soldier turned at the sound. “You!” he shouted. Ravio ducked and dashed into an open cell. The soldier’s flail grated against the bars. The soldier growled and followed him into the cell. Ravio dropped to the ground, rolling out of the way of another swing. He rushed to lean against the cell. He grinned awkwardly at the solider as he turned to look at Ravio. He let out a wordless shout as Ravio shut the door on him, and locked it. The soldier roared and swore, crashing his weapon repeatedly, almost blindly, against the metal.
Ravio could've nearly laughed and cried at the same time.
He raced to the Princess's cage and fumbled with the lock with numb hands.
“You- you found me” the princess whispered as she stood, trembling. Her eyes watching his each move carefully, “I sensed you were near…” she said, she gripped his hand, hard. Her brows furrowed in determination, “Ravio, listen now and listen well. The wizard is magically controlling all the soldiers in the castle.” She spared a brief glance at the captured soldier, “…My father is likely doomed. We must not trust anyone. The wizard is a powerful and formidable opponent. Do you understand?”
Ravio stared, eyes wide. He nodded silently.
“We shall find an escape in the throne room. We will need to go as soon as possible, before he detects us.”
"He-he knows I'm here?" Ravio whispered, panicked. “We have to go into hiding! I have to-”
Hilda shook her head, taking Ravio's hand. "Not yet. Thus, why we must hurry. This way."
Hilda led the way through the Castle. However, whatever struggle she had with the wizard before had clearly taken its toll. Ravio fumbled to push her back to hide from soldiers and tiptoe through the lava-filled halls. He created distractions with hastily thrown objects. The Princess found pathways to direct them.
Finally, they reached the throne room. Hilda took a step back. "We must push this back. I can not do it alone."
Ravio nodded. Straining, Ravio stumbled and shoved against the stone. Hilda pushed her whole body weight into it. The passage opened. He sighed in relief. "Almost thought I'd be too scrawny to help," he chuckled awkwardly.
"You are scrawny." The Princess confirmed, walking through.
Ravio blinked, then stumbled after her.
They weaved through dark passages. When the rats got too close, Ravio screamed and flailed his lantern at them. The rats ran, and the Princess tried not to giggle.
Ravio pulled the lever to open the door, straining.
“Princess! You’re safe!" A familiar voice announced softly. The keeper of the Sanctuary tilted his head as he spotted- "Ravio?”
Hilda stepped forward, “It was Ravio who aided me to safety." She turned to him, "When I was captive the wizard said, “Once I’m finally done with you, the path to the Triforce shall finally reveal itself” she looked down, brows furrowed, “Ravio, we must not let the land of Lorule fall into further chaos. If he releases the seal my family placed on the Triforce, evil power will overwhelm this land. Before that happens… before it’s too late… we must destroy the wizard before he destroys all of Lorule!” Hilda exclaimed.
"But- but how?" Ravio whispered, "I'm just-just a kid."
"You came to my summons, it proves you are the Hero of Legend. You must."
Ravio looked down, frowning.
The Sanctuary keeper grabbed Hilda by the arm. "Good, now that you've found him, nothing can stop Drahnim from bringing the triforce to us."
Hilda hissed, thrashing, "This is madness! You can't truly believe anything good will come of it?!"
"Dear Princess, the royal family has kept the wish-granting powers of the triforce to itself for too long. We deserve our share."
Hilda bit the keeper. He yelled, clutching his arm. Ravio rushed forward to pull Hilda away, and ran.
The pair raced through the rain and dark. The keeper shouted behind them. "We will find you! Don't think you can hide!"
Ravio and Hilda ran and ran. After what felt like an hour, Ravio skidded to a halt and tugged on Hilda's dress. He looked around quickly, before directing the Princess to a small cave. The pair stumbled in, and Ravio quickly collected vines and plants to cover the entry with. Hilda slumped against a wall, sliding to the floor.
"You… you need to find the bow of light. To fight the wizard," she said. She coughed and shivered. "There's three pendants- if you can-"
"I'm not leaving you," Ravio said quietly. He walked over to her, "You're tired, and hurting, I'm not going to leave you alone."
Hilda looked at the ground. "It's our destiny, to protect Lorule."
"As long as he doesn't find you, how much can he do? Right? You're the last part of the seal. You said so. I can't leave you."
She covered her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. Ravio shuffled to sit next to her, pulling his lamp close to warm them. Hilda leaned gently against him, sighing lightly. An uneasy quiet settled over the night. Ravio stared into the dark, musty cavern, as he felt Hilda’s body lax into a fitful rest. He did his best to remain awake and vigilant, looking around intently. Tears slipped down his cheeks. He balled his sleeve into his hand and rubbed at the tears, swallowing thickly.
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Almost 6 am. Post this StryKabal snippet when they least expect it.
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starfishlikestoread · 1 month
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congrats on the post milestone bestie <33333 may I request a Steven Universe 👀 (and maybe suf!steven? fjsbdjbd <333)
hiii :D so I never actually got around to watching SUf (I really should one day), but I've seen screencaps of Steven playing the guitar rather than his uke, so I thought it might be nice for him to rediscover/spend some time with his classic instrument:
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(since, as someone who plays both: one isn't just a bigger version of the other!)
Thank you sm for the prompt <333
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shima-draws · 26 days
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Today's Sanlu art is probably gonna be late btw I meant to get a head start on it last night when I got home but I was so EEPY. So I took a nap instead LMAO
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singsweetmelodies · 2 months
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Hi there! Im still kind of new to f1 so please, can you share all the piarles deep lore with me? Like your favorite moments from them, the story of them growing up, etc. I have a burning need 🙏 ❤️
hiiii dearest anon! i am so sorry for the delay in replying - i saw this ask and immediately got SO freaking excited, because, well, piarles is my absolute OTP in this fandom, so of course i'd love to share all the details about them!!
i started working on a piarles lore post almost immediately, and that's when i realised... um, there is actually rather a lot of piarles lore. like, a lot. enough that i've been working on this post for over a week in-between work and irl stuff, and it's still not done??
so yeah.... 🙈 i just wanted to reply to you today and say that i have seen this ask and i am working on a piarles lore post for you ❤️😘 it's just taking quite a bit longer than i thought because of how much piarles lore there is. but rest assured, the post is definitely happening!! thank you SO much for asking, and for giving me the chance to embark on the most fun research project ever <3333
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i love yasmin "it's been three years, depression WHOMST" khan saying "we dont have to keep doing this" to her sister on their annual suicide prevention anniversary dinner only to three weeks later spiral for 10 months straight and immediately leave home to come back 10 months later 5 years older heartbroken traumatised estranged and grieving someone her family met one (1) time during a freak spider situation, leaving her almost exactly in the position the doctor was in the entire time she knew her
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todayisafridaynight · 9 months
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haunted by the knowledge that sega loves referencing their franchises and how many missed opportunities there were for kiryu to meet sonic the hedgehog
#snap chats#//me three seconds before making this post// im going to make a post SO niche#NO LISTEN TO ME sega all star tennis.... sonic riders...... ok those are all the examples i got BUT STILL#like in sonic riders you get to play as three non-sonic sega ips AND the sega carnival levels are literally just love letters to sega ips#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST THEY GOT OPA OPA THERE !!!!! they even have vehicles based off of Super Hang On and Hang On#and when you equip them the ost changes to those games' themes !!!!!!!#shaking and crying cause at the sega carnival they have a spot for crazy taxi WHICH#AGAIN I HAVE TO REITERATE THE AMOUNT OF LOVE SEGA SHOWS FOR THEIR IPSLK i love...#anyway i have a reason for this mention. sit and hallucinate with me kiryu having to Be A Taxi Driver#and then he gotta drive sonic bitch ass around. durin a fuckin race#the urge to make a comic of that is so strong.... and the fact kiryu and sonic are in it means it'd be funny to a lot of people...#SURE the enjoyment of sonic riders is niche APPARENTLY but everyone like kiryu... eveyrone like sonic...#and itd only be like two panels lol.... im not doing that now tho. or ever maybe idk we know how my motivation is#it'll be there red hot one minute and then gone never to be seen again#it doesnt even have to be a comic it could just be a silly lil doodle#RIP all those comics i have collectin dust in my folders...#ok im done bobmarding eveyrone with Hyper Specific posts. tonight. i promise :)#theres a bonus joke here about daigo being in kiryus taxi again. lol <- please shut up#bye bye now
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kalpasio · 1 year
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I want the most gut wrenching hair pulling toe curling back breaking ear splitting eye popping jaw dropping nail biting stomach churning angst you can make, we need more kalpas x reader angst, i want to finish reading it on the floor sobbing so hard,, PLEASE JUST GO ALL OUT ON THE ANGST, I NEED A SAD ENDING FOR KALPAS,, I WANT BOTH HIM AND READER TO SUFFER (affectionately)
i want to give you the liberty to go wild on this one,, all i ask is angst,, make it so sad that i wont be able to recover from it,, all i need is one angst filled sad ending kalpas x reader fic and i am satisfied, please and thank you 🥹💖
- herrscher anon, who wants everyone to suffer (affectionately)
This ask has been sitting in my inbox for 81 days and I'm so very very sorry. Somehow I'm more productive at school than at home where I actually have free time. Anywhom, I hope this has you crying for the rest of the day, or at least like. two seconds. It definitely tried to be angsty lol
Thank you so much for the ask, putting up with how long it took, and also all the amazing asks you've sent since, love you herrscher anon <3
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
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hyaciiintho · 9 months
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🌸。*゚+. THIS IS A TEST POST !! This is not an actual inbox call, I just wanted to test and see how the graphic would look posted to tumblr ;; ;; Might use this when doing inbox calls and then a copy/paste text body.
With that being said-- how do people feel about a "permanent" inbox call post? Just for my own reassurance so I don't feel like I'm bothering people but don't wanna like... constantly make a new inbox call post. Basically just a list of people commenting below a post, one that maybe specifies whether people prefer random IC interactions or want asks leaning more to IC questions/ooc headcanons stuff?
I know it's silly because if we're mutuals, we shouldn't be afraid to reach out to each other, BUT !! I also know some people do not like random asks, so... it would just be for the sake of... "You have permission to send random things whenever you feel like it" but of course it's not like I'm expecting you to answer things immediately after I send them either.
But yeah, just a thought! If it seems too silly I'll just keep making individual posts each time ♡ c':
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timegears-moved · 1 year
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god im so tempted to go back to botw rn
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the-kipsabian · 4 months
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started a new fic last night
im actually very excited for it :)
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capriciouswrites · 2 years
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on the seventh day of halloween my true boo gave to me...a failure to cook
“Look,” says Sakura’s favorite kunoichi class teacher, pulling her aside after class, “you’re a civilian kid, right?”
Sakura nods and tangles her fingers together. Analee-sensei is her favorite teacher because she teaches more practical things — but the kunoichi classes aren’t Sakura’s best subject. Ino always shows her up here, unlike with the academics. Except, sometimes, for Analee-sensei’s lessons.
“When you get put on a team,” she says, seriously, crouching down and grabbing Sakura’s hands, “because you’re a girl and a civilian they will expect you to do all the ‘female’ chores. Start off by being worse than them at all of them, if you want to ever have a chance to do anything else.”
“But —“ Sakura isn’t even sure what her protest will be, maybe just that she is skilled at those things and doesn’t want to be seen as bad at something — or maybe just something about wanting to prove to Sasuke-kun that she’d be a good wife.
Analee-sensei doesn’t give her a chance. “You don’t have to totally fail at them, just be worse than the worst person on your team. You can get better. But I promise you, you don’t want to be stuck in that role.”
If it was anyone but Analee-sensei, Sakura wouldn’t have listened. But Analee-sensei is her favorite teacher and — “I promise, sensei,” she says, with a determined nod.
It’s possible she wouldn’t have done it, even still, but then Naruto had seemed so excited about cup ramen and —
(Looking back, she doesn’t regret this decision, which is more than she can say for a lot of things that she did at twelve, but she does feel a little guilty that her first action was out of spite against Naruto. She knows, now, that he didn’t deserve it, and yet.)
“I brought lunch!” she announces, brightly, not even lying when she says, “I’m really proud of this! Please let me know what you think!” She is proud, of course. But what she’s proud of is her experimental hypothesis (“there is a way to prepare ramen that Naruto won’t eat”), but, well, Sakura has always been an over achiever. (She is a bit dismayed to find that her hypothesis isn’t totally supported — although he does cry the entire time eating it, and they are not tears of joy, so she’s willing to count it as a partial success. Neither of the other two take more than a bite — though Kakashi-sensei does do her the favor of just making his disappear.)
And she knows she could stop there. But, well, Sasuke keeps insisting that tomatoes count as a desert, and she’s going to make him eat his words. So she does make the cookies just for him. Alas, he does not eat his words, and he mostly fails to eat the tomato-cookie as well, since he just opens his mouth and lets it fall out after one chew.
(She does count this as an almost successful bid to see Kakashi-sensei’s face as he steals a cookie and has eaten it before anyone else and almost fails to hold back his gag reflex and has to take off his mask. Or maybe he does fail, but he vanishes before he fails. Still, she almost succeeds.)
(He's the one who taught them to look underneath the underneath — surely he can see her attempts at cooking warfare for what they are?)
The rice is, she’s willing to admit, not intentional. She intends to prove her ability to make plain rice — that should be safe and keep her from having to cook every meal, after all, but still able to help out. Unfortunately her parents are involved in a prank war and she’s an innocent bystander.
(She’s not sure why her father swapped out the salt in the salt shaker for sugar, since it seems just as likely to harm him as her mother, but mostly it ends up harming her team.)
And to be fair, she does try the rice before bringing it, but she doesn’t have money to buy cooked rice, or time to make more. And she thinks it could at least be a desert. But then she gets distracted because Naruto splashes her with water when he’s lunging at Sasuke for an insult and she doesn’t warn anyone that the rice is sweet and — ah well.
So Team Seven is fully of the opinion that she doesn’t know how to cook. She tries, a few times, to insist that she can. But Kakashi-sensei miraculously finds coupons that are going to expire in a few hours and so they must be used and she never gets a chance to prove she’s not a total disaster.
There are definitely worse things. (Like most of the rest of the their short time as a team.)
But it’s funny, and she thinks that once they all make chunnin she’ll surprise everyone with a glorious feast that she’s cooked herself, but, ah, well…
And to be honest, by the time Team Kakashi is formed she’s forgotten about her culinary warfare.
(Looking back, she thinks that even if she’d wanted to convince them she was still a menace in the kitchen she wouldn’t have come up with something this good.)
Before their first mission, Tsunade hands her a Tupperware of what look like perfect brownies. Sakura is too jaded to eye them with anything but suspicion, but when Tsunade arches an eyebrow and says, “Eat one,” she does.
She immediately regrets the decision.
“You know how to control your own reflexes,” Tsunade says with a smirk, “keep it down.”
She’s only taken a bite — not shoved the whole thing in, she knows better than that — but it still takes her several minutes to be sure she’s not going to bring it all back up if she opens her mouth. “Ugh,” is all she manages once she can make noise through a throat that’s trying to close to keep her from feeding more toxic waste to it — Tsunade pushes a cup filled with a clear liquid towards her (probably poured while her eyes were shut in the hopes of having that control her mentor had insisted she had). She shoots it back, relieved when it is sake and not water.
It burns through some, although not all, of the taste. She eyes the Tupperware — still alarming full — with wide eyes. Tsunade laughs at her, although it should probably be characterized as a cackle. “We just went over shuffling tastebuds, kid. Your secondary assignment when you’re on this mission is to figure out the ideal way to shuffle your tastebuds, the right amount to use so that the effect only lasts for the time it takes to eat one of the bars, and the fastest way to do it. Don't go just shutting off your tastebuds, I want a shuffle.”
“If I eat more of those,” Sakura says, already considering the likely rewiring to make them not taste like a fate worse than death, “am I going to be poisoned?”
Tsunade laughs again, “They’re protein bars with vitamins. Good for you! You better eat all of ‘em before you get back!”
Sakura grimaces but nods, and accepts the container. She doesn’t bother to label the container with any sorts of warnings, because it’s been long enough since she’s traveled with anyone who would just go riffling through someone else’s possessions that she assumes they’ll be safe.
So it’s a surprise to her, on the second day of their mission, when she comes back from cleaning off in the river to see Naruto gagging and rolling around in the dirt and the other two members of the team staring in horror at her protein bars.
“Hey!” she protests, upset because she’s only just figured out the right way to shuffle her taste buds and she’s still working on the time and they’re wasting them! “Those are mine! Why are you eating them!” She grabs the ones out of Kakashi and Sai’s hands, scowling, and stares at the one that Naruto has dropped in the dirt with a frown before deciding it's not actually worth recovery. She carefully places the two bitten ones back into their container and scowls.
“Dickless thought you were hiding treats from the rest of us,” Sai says, eventually, voice tight like he’s fighting something, “but maybe you brought them in case we needed to torture someone?”
“Stay out of my stuff!” she scowls and then after a moments concentration rearranges her tastebuds and pops one of the bitten ones into her mouth — the flavor is now lightly nutty and fruity and kind of bland to be honest but so much better than the real thing — and chews it to show dominance.
Sai pales more than she would’ve expected possible, considering that he’s the color of a piece of paper, and Kakashi covers his mask with a hand, gags, and vanishes. Naruto is still hollering like someone’s stabbed him as she stalks to her sleeping roll clutching her assignment from Tsunade.
So really it’s not her fault how bad a reputation she’s got around cooking.
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seonghwasblr-moved · 1 year
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Goodnight friends aka moots I’ve probably never talked to! Remember you are loved and beautiful and the world is a better place with you in it! ♡
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