Just loveeeeee being alone and being forced to do shit alone from now on im SO happy about it🙃

ooooooh selly bean, can i have a bingo card ?? 👉🏼👈🏼🥹🩷✨️

- willow🌱

willow 🥺 of course you may 🥺

(c) xen-blank for the template!

send me an ask and i’ll fill up this bingo card for you!! 🥺

x (weibo is kind of a pain so I’ll only link to his profile - same goes for future posts)

sometimes i will be seeing cute fan art 👀 then i check the tags and it's mcyt 😭

That weird feeling is back..

NEEDY

a/n- this is very bad, and random (i also made this at 12am on a school night!)

warnings- oral, creampie, use of y/n, caught, and language

summary- y/n gets caught staring at matts hands, so he does something about it.

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"bro y/n are you listening?"

chris says suddenly snapping me out of my trance, i was to busy studying matts hand to be listening, "um yea." i lied. Ive been looking at matts hands for the past 35 minutes

wondering what great things they would do to me.

"then re say one fucking word i said!" chris snapped at me leaving me speechless, "thats what i thought" chris said in a know it all way leaning back onto the couch getting comfortable.

ding

i got a snapchat notification from, 'matt?' i thought to myself.

i opened my phone looking up at matt not understanding why he couldnt just tell me whatever he was snapping me about.

'oh shit its a photo' i thought to myself furrowing my eyebrows almost automatically clicking the image

'holy shit' i was not expecting to see a picture of his dick.

"wdf is this matthew?"

"you think i dont see you staring at me? not just me but my hands?"

"idek what youre talking about matt."

"go to my room. naked. now."

read 1:43 am

as soon as i read the last sentence he sent me i got up and started walking to his room, "where are you going y/n?" matt asked knowing exactly where the fuck i was headed.

"um." i cleared my throat, "im h-headed to your room. I dont feel to good." I already could feel my cunt dripping in arousle, "im gonna head to bed too then" matt said standing up smirking at me, "oh okay." i said turning back around practically sprinting to his room, him following behind me.

as soon as we entered his room he grabbed me by the waist, "fuck matt" i said pulling my shirt off.

"damn ma you roaming free 'round here?" he said hooking his mouth to my left boob, since i didnt have a bra on.

matt moved us over from his door frame to his bed, throwing me down moving his mouth from my left boob to my right.

"shit baby, can i taste you." he said this statement more as a demand rather than a question, "anything you want matt" i said tugging at his waistband. All he did was nod, and with a tic of approval i pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion

his rock hard dick slapping his stomach, that shit was bout 8-9 inches.

"fuck matt." i said as he pulled down my shorts and laced panties down painfully slow, "i want you to taste me already" i said removing my legs from the last peice of clothing covering me

"say no more" he said giggling, going down on me im one swift motion.

as soon as his tongue hit my clit, immediate pleasure spred throughout my body. Waves of enjoyment sprung through my body

"shit im already so close matt please" i said gripping his hair bucking my hips into his mouth, "cum in my mouth baby" as soon as those 5 words left his mouth the knot in my stomach became undone

slowly matt stopped and kissed me, "isnt it your turn matt?" i said cupping the side of his face staring into his peircing blue eyes, "shit. If im being honest... i came already. twice."

"matt what the fu-" i was about to finish my sentence before i heard a ding from my phone

it was chris

"you both are nasty as fuck." chris stated arguably correct.

i rolled my eyes, and showed matt. We both looked at each other and started bursting out laughing

"i know!" is all i replied with before shutting my phone off and kissing matt

"thank you matt." i said looking at him, "any time." he said kissing me one last time.

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i hate this. I HATE THIS. i hate my life 💕

MAUERBAUERTRAURIGKEIT chris sturniolo

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.

↳ 𝐀/𝐍. idek how i learned this word

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. christopher sturniolo x reader

↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. the inexplicable urge to push everyone away.

↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? no!

↳ 𝐂𝐖! fluffy sad but like its also sad fluffy but its ok its cute, one use of 'y/n'

you almost fall asleep laying there, tucked into chris' cozy hold. but his tired, hazy voice brings you to open your eyes.

"do you know what mauerbauertraurigkeit means?" he asks, rubbing his thumb along your arm.

you giggle lightly, turning your head to get a better look at chris. trying to meet his eyes, but he stares at the wall. "I dont, I've never even heard of it."

he stays disassociated, zoning off into space. "the inexplicable urge to push everyone away." his voice undeniably gets lighter as he explains it to you. clearly having to had learn about this long enough ago to know the meaning behind it so well.

failing to hide a frown, you nod. "yeah?" you whisper, "do you feel marbertrigit?"

chris gently laughs, a small smile peaking over his lips. "mauerbauertraurigkeit." he corrects you. hesitating slightly before answering your question. "I mean yeah, I feel it with almost everyone. I just want to get up and leave sometimes." his smile disappears and his frown deepens.

seeing how low his mood is, you shift your position and bring your hand up to his face. lightly caressing his cheek. "that's fair," you obviously grow tense in his hold, starting to worry that he wants to push you away. "I mean I feel that too."

he turns the two of you so he's laying on his side, facing you. "but I don't feel it with you." he whispers, trying to stop you from silently freaking out about what you thought he would say.

and it helps, your body loosens a little bit, but you still feel sad that he even knows about this. he clearly feels it if he knows about it, let alone remembers the long word. you gently smile, running your thumb over his freckles.

"I think I feel it with everyone but you, really." he stares deep into your eyes. searching for anything that might hint to what you have to say. "I feel it with my friends, my parents, even nick and matt."

you let the words ring out before giving him your input on the situation. "and thats perfectly okay, everyone needs space sometimes." you whisper, dragging your hand to the back of his head. slowly running your fingers through your hair. "im sure matt and nick have felt it too."

chris closes his eyes for several seconds, taking in your words before looking at you again. his light eyes becoming more pigmented as you stare deeper into them. "i really hope they don't."

pushing yourself closer, you press a soft kiss to his forehead, lingering there as you speak. "if there was anyway i could take this feeling away i would love, i would." you frown lightly, hugging chris as tightly and securely as possible. "i'd take it away so, so fast."

"i know you would," he whispers against your neck, deepening your hug. "thank you, y/n. i love you."

you nod, pressing another kiss to your forehead. "i love you."

TAGLIST

@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @matthewmurdockswife @jellybeanbby @slaysturniolo @iheartshifting

ALSO SPEAKING AS SOMEBODY WHO ONLY KNOWS THE BARE MINIMUM OF GOOD OMENS AND THE INEFFABLE HUSBANDS i just wanna say im pretty sure bg3 has their equivalent in bloodweave (gale [the one played by tim downie] + astarion)

my defense:

autistic book nerd and king who has the Audacity to fight God + chaotic theater gay that gives cat vibes and may need Therapy

aziraphale and gale sound like the type that would have solidarity in old man knees . idek if thats canon for aziraphale but it sure as hell is for gale

aziraphale and gale rhyme holy shit thats becoming a legitimate bullet point AJSJSJSJA

the book nerds live in their own private library . gale has a whole ass wizards tower while aziraphale has his book shop (that iirc he doesnt even sell the books in it ???)

crowley and astarion are the same fruit men . i also dont know how to explain that crowley just gives me 8 strength vibes as well . even if he was an angel you cant tell me this man can lift more than three books at once

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other" vibes from the both of them (idc what the other endings for gale are hes denouncing mystra in my canon bc i say so <33)

is aziraphale the type to have a cat . he seems so . how about a cat w wings (<-a tressym) . theyd absolutely bond over that

if you replaced the cutscenes of astarions little hissy fits w crowley i think itd honestly still be pretty in character

if i manage to pirate good omens one of these days i will be confirming if my hypothesis is correct <33

Ooooh now we're talking :)))))) I'll try to be brief (< lying)

yup that's them.

'may need therapy' we all know they do, the 'may' is only there bc they either won't admit it (Aziraphale & Gale) or would have to get dragged kicking & screaming before ultimately weaseling their way out of it looney tunes style (Crowley & Astarion)

Aziraphale is an old man in all aspects except one (biologically), however Crowley is the same age and he would definitely have old man knees. he doesn't know what to do with his joints half of the time due to being snek

yeah there are no books being sold in that bookshop fgfjkfggnv. like, it's all first editions and what-not so i totally get not wanting to give any away but then why open a shop??? instead of a collection???

yk what, fair enough. Crowley is a noodle, those arms aren't doing much more opening doors for his angel. tbf he can lift multiple potted plants at once but that's more spite than anything

i could also totally see Astarion doing the Crowley Walk(TM)

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other vibes" so true, no notes.

aziraphale doesn't have a pet (yet) but I think he would love a cat (I mean, he's got Crowley hanging around, basically the same). A tressym is just a very peculiar step up from that (consider: it has it's own wings to match him and Crowley, which is really adorable!!)

crowley's hissy fits are great and can likewise be replaced with Astarion's.

similiar additions which would probably still be in character:

C slammed Aziraphale into a wall for calling him nice

C went out into the middle of the street when he got really frustrated/anxious and exploded lightning from his body

C agreed to take care of the bookshop, not selling any books etc. but tossed any books he was holding into some corner whenever

both of them evaded the immediate ire of their higher ups by pointing out a technicality that amounted to 'this word is explained to be different from the one you're using, but through a miniscule footnote on the last page of this giagantic book'

Aziraphale has an incredible hard time overcoming the trauma and toxic mindset upheld by his superiors, including how he views himself and his partner (that one's just sad, sry)

Solid ground for a hypothesis I'd say :))

my only issue with the trope is when it's used as a plot device to bring 2 people together in a relationship for the first time/the forced proximity being used to give a character a second chance because thats just idk kind of boring to me lmao(thats personal preference though and theoretically can even see it but just not my vibe lol) like kind of centering the growth of a relationship around a child/ using a child to create conflict in a relationship are just not that interesting to me from a narrative perspective I think, but since I think the way you would take the story(ofc purely speculating) is more of their relationship still being solid and it being something they figure out together as a team and the conflict being more them vs world than them vs each other, I would be intrigued to see how they both react because remi is like the most caring character when it comes to her loved ones and also the most fiercely protective so she would v well burn down the world for the kid and same for xaden, like seeing them navigate such a situation in wartime could be so interesting, so like I'm more or less neutral on it because while it may not be my favorite trope(because I've not seen it done well a lot too maybe) I think like I love your writing sm I do think you would do it justice and make me love it. Also im so in love in your characters and world i really don't think anything could stop me eagerly waiting for updates(still recovering from ch 10 loll) anyway I rambled a lot and idek if any of this gives any insight lmaoo but just a lot of thoughts.

I totally get what you mean. I think it’s a great plot device if used in the correct way. Like a lot of the tropes I do like have forced proximity, which I find fun, but in this case they already have so much history which I think keeps it from being boring or like…repetitive of the traditional, stereotypical way the trope is used, if that makes sense.

I definitely (for example) didn’t appreciate the way SJM used it, but I’ve liked it in fanfic before.

I think if I did do it it would probably fall into some of those tropes in a minimal kind of way, but also explore a lot of other themes that those fics usually don’t, like the aspect of bringing a child into war, having a child when you carry a genetic illness and all the scary and difficult things that can entail that healthy people don’t have to deal with, things like that.

Definitely appreciate your perspective, thanks for writing! 🖤

heyo so this question is abt lilith, and if its a stupid one then pls feel free to ignore. i looked thru ur lilith tag and stuff but i also have other ppl telling me something different so im really just confused.

ive always taken lilith as closed off to goyim, but ive got other ppl saying shes not. granted, these ppl are on discord, so take that with a grain of salt. also, theyre goyim but saying that their jewish mod said shes open. but also, a goy thats trying to work with her was saying how she wasnt responding to being "invoked" which to me sounded like confirmation that shes closed. now my confused ass is sitting here like WHATS THE TRUTH??

like imo and as someone whos part of a closed practice, if the community seems divided on whether or not the practice is closed, i'd rather err on the side of caution and just not practice.

idek what my question is here now that ive typed everything out skhdndks im just confused. feel free to ignore whatever this was 🙈

Hello! Your initial thought was correct- Lilith is closed, the discord goyim seem to be using their Jewish friend as a token to speak over other Jews. Especially since it sounds like that Jewish person wasn't in the room to articulate their opinion for themselves, so we don't know if there was any nuance the goyim didn't convey or what their connection/level of education on the topic is.

I was really compelled by the comparison you drew between Kristoffersen from Fantastic Mr Fox and Kaworu Nagisa from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Would you be able to expand on that, what makes them similar and different?

aw man, i'm glad you liked it! it was a bit of shit post, and also i haven't seen either piece of media in a while, but i'll try to compose my reasoning:

first of all, their appearances. both have silver hair. both look like wet puppies to me.

next, they appear very suddenly and the little guy character (shinji/ash) see them as a threat when they're actually just trying to get close to them.

they seem really weird to other people and don't really fit in with the other kids they're around, but it's because they act so mature. HOWEVER: kristofferson eventually becomes really popular, kaworu stays weird.

kristofferson is an angel

they make the little guy character they befriend feel less like an outsider. difference: the natures of the relationships they build are obviously different, ash and kristofferson are estranged cousins who become friends and shinji and kaworu are total strangers who become ????idek. also the extent to which kaworu can help shinji is cut short. kristofferson and ash on the other hand get to stay friends (he moves into the underground neighborhood at the end of the movie right?)

also maybe this is my interpretation of these guys but kaworu is less confrontational, he doesn't really care that people don't understand him. kristofferson gets really hurt whenever ash is mean to him, and he also stands up for ash a lot more directly (breaking the beaver kids nose). when kaworu helps out shinji it's more about talking through stuff, and kristofferson is more inclined to help ash do things people tell him he can't (steal his dads tail back).

ok correct me if i'm wrong on this one: kaworu knows way more about the operations at nerv right? i don't remember how that relates to his relationship with gendo ikari, i'm trying to draw a comparison between how mr fox favors kristofferson when he takes him to steal chickens with them vs not letting ash know anything. i don't think i remember enough though.

thats all i can think of, i hope its satisfactory!

vent (tw for extreme ablism transphobia and overall terrible stuff idek if i should even post this im sorry i just really need to vent i will probably delete this later)

y’all i’ve finally gotten comfortable vocal stimming in front of people im comfortable with like my friends and family and now my mom all of a sudden thinks im hearing voices or that i have “multiple personalities”????????* like no i promise nothings “going on” with me and j don’t need to see a mental health professional im just stimming because im happy. what the fuck

*also i’ve literally told her for YEARS that it’s called DID and talking in different voices does not fucking mean someone has “multiple personalities” because this has come up SOO fucking much over the years and i’m getting tired of explaining it. i repeat things in funny voices because it’s fun. i’ve done it my whole fucking life it’s called echolalia it’s called STIMMING and she doesn’t listen to me whenever i explain that

so much for being comfortable being myself around people. “you never used to act like this” BECAUSE I WAS SCARED!!!!! BECAUSE I HAD TERRIBLE ANXIETY AND DIDNT WANT TO BE JUDGED FOR BEING WEIRD!!!!!! my parents genuinely think there’s something severely wrong with me now. they literally told me that. because i meow sometimes as a vocal stim. and so do LITERALLY ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND PEOPLE AT SCHOOL. PEOPLE IN CLASS TALK IN WEIRD VOICES AND MAKE ANIMAL NOISES TOO ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! ITS NOT FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

i’m genuinely so fucking tired of this god who fucking gives a shit of im weird. i’ve been like this my whole life its not my fuckign fault that you didn’t pay attention and don’t remember. FUCK

my step dad’s a fucking dick too i genuinely hate him so fucking much i cant fucking take it anymore. NO!!!! IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK. “why” because im autistic. “that’s not an excuse” yes it fucking is bitch its literally a symptom of fucking autism. no i AM going to keep calling myself autistic because thats what i am. no its not “putting a label on myself” because im actually fucking diagnosed autistic im not going to pretend it doesnt exist. because i fucking exist. im not going to “beat” my autism by suppressing all of my autistic traits because you want me to. “why?” DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF???????

and this guy worked in mental health for 17 years. he worked at a psychiatric hospital for 17 years. he never went to college or learned anything about mental health at all. he thinks he knows more than me about my fucking disability when he says the most outdated offensive shit ive ever heard about autism or DID or schizophrenia. he doesnt listen to a word i say because he’s “older than me and has more life experience” and therefore he automatically “knows more than me and im wrong.” he doesnt listen to anyone actually. he literally says to people not to correct him when he’s wrong because he doesnt like being told he’s wrong to being told what to do or think. he’s “not going to change his beliefs for anyone” even if he knows his “beliefs” are literally just fucking factually wrong or actively harmful. he purposely makes people feel like shit if they stand up for themselves against him. he purposely makes me feel like shit because im the only one in this fucking houses that dares to disagree with the shit he says. he’s a republican he’s obsessed with trump and blasts conservative transphobic racist news channels on the tv right outside my room at night so it keeps me awake and doesnt turn the tv down when i ask because apparently he has hearing problems but has never once got that checked out. he deadnames me and says “because of his adhd he’s not sure he’ll ever remember to use the right name so he’s not even gonna try.” and he says he loves and supports me but is constantly saying the most ableist transphobic shit to me and says he’s just giving me a hard time because he loves me. he has said on multiple occasions with a straight face that “fat people piss him off and they’re the one type of people that he doesnt feel bad for being outwardly hateful and discriminatory towards.” he tries to make me feel guilty for not believing in god. he’s anti abortion. he doesnt want me to get gender affirming care under his roof because he thinks its weird and disgusting and doesnt want me to get a dick even though i have told him a million fucking times i never want bottom surgery and i dont know why this is any of his fucking business anyway. he constantly tells me my online friends aren’t real friends and when he knows i love talking to them he purposely turns the wifi off. he asks me why im acting so weird and i say its how ive always acted alone and with my friends and im just being myself and he says “stop acting like that.” “why. im not going to change who i am for other people.” “well i want you to around me.” KILL YOURSELF IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

he’s a manipulative bastard and whenever we get into arguments, SOME FUCKING HOW a few hours later were happy and forgiving eachother and im the one saying sorry. he’s an asshole to me and everyone around him, he’s an asshole to my mom. they are constantly fighting but always deny it. i cant fucking take it anymore

sorry for this vent i know people dont follow me to know about my personal life i know i shouldnt say this stuff but i dont fucking care im so sick of this. i woke up this mornign feeling more excited happy and motivated than i have felt all week and it was ruined the second my mom came in my room saying that the way i act (my literal vocal stims) make her think there’s something severely wrong with me. i love her more than anything in the world she’s the best mom ever but what the actual fuck??????? anyway i hate my stepdad and even though i dont believe in hell i hope he fucking burns

Yo if you're still doing the ask thingie (yes ikik it's three days later) thoughts on Hoppean?

ill Always be doing this im free to give my opinions whenever

Sexuality Headcanon: hmmm ive never rlly thought of a specific hc for him but. imma say bisexual yeah

Gender Headcanon: hmmmmm. imma say transmasc yeah! ive never rlly thought of that either but. seems correct

A ship I have with said character: minhopp obviiiiii. idek why i ship them its certainly not cuz of anything in canon i just think. they cute :)

A BROTP I have with said character: all the ancapistan boys!! im always saying like groups for these LOL srry these characters they just. have their groups and thats awesome

A NOTP I have with said character: there is like one hoppean ship in the world and i ship it so. no notps here lol

A random headcanon: im a firm believer that that mf has wings ok that is real and true to me. i like to think that sometimes, although begrudgingly, he like picks minarchist up n like flies him around the city teehee

General Opinion over said character: i like him!! in canon he is hardly anything but. hes a fun guy to make shit up about

QKDHKAHDKAHXKSVZNXJQB HOW DARE YOU SAY NO ONE WILL EVER CARE ABOUT A KIRA HAYDEN FIC BESTIE IM RIGHT HERE CRYING SHAKING RABID HANGING ON BY A THREAD ARE YOU INSANE ???????????? i'm gonna pass away actually thanks bye xoxo rue (also corinne????? you don't know her like i do, shes my ambiguously latine milf she's like 4'9 of pure hatred and horror they have to use camera angles to make her look not as small???? like im sorry thats so iconic to me dont you GET IT)

IDEK HOW TONRESPIND NROMSLLY TO THIS <3333 i mean i absolutely will froth at the mouth if you read anything i write (again) but yes it is a self-indulgent fic that involves subterfuge and rage but also cute girls so i win. (NO I DON’T ACCEPT THAT. no one else gets her but me this entire fandom is wrong about her always. but everything you’ve said is so funny and as always so Correct you’re literally always right )

Weird question! What scenes do you have planned for your story but wont/cant do them because of limitations in the sims? Like a fight scene/underwater scene etc 🌱

not a weird question at all, i really love this question!!! as far as the straud legacy goes, fortunately i cant imagine many scenes, if any at all, which would be too difficult to execute, since the straud legacy is mainly a silly teen romance/drama :') the hardest part was always finding poses to fit the mood of what im going for, but since i can make my own poses now thats not an issue!

i guess as far as the straud legacy goes, there’s a scene where the strauds + vaughn, caspian, and karmen go camping together, and the kids all go swimming. specifically, there’s a shot where caspian and annie are underwater together, and i’m absolutely dreading having to create that post because i doubt it’s going to look very nice lol. but, i’ve seen lots of pictures of underwater shots that aren’t actually underwater, but edited to make it appear as though they’re underwater, so i’m hoping i can achieve a similar look! and if not, i’ll just scrap that idea and try something else :’(

there’s one specific scene in the vlad/brie backstory reprisal that i feel im not gonna be able to execute as it is in my head, mainly bc of how graphic it’s supposed to be. (spoilers under the cut!! i’m talking about blood and guts beneath the cut so don’t read it if you’re squeamish!!!)

there's one scene where human vladislaus, having pioneered into the wilderness with a group of 25 migrants, leaves the group to find their lost hunting dog. while alone, he's attacked by a vampire and left for dead. in my head it's supposed to be very graphic and gross, there’s lots of gore with his organs and insides all exposed as he’s left on the brink of death. miraculously, though, instead of dying, he transforms into a vampire, after having accidentally consumed some of the vampire’s blood during their fight. because of the transformation, his wounds rapidly heal, and he loses consciousness and falls into a vampiric blackout rage, attacking the remaining 25 migrants.

i think i’ll be able to include a majority of this scene, but the gore components will probably have to be sacrificed because i honestly don’t know how to execute it in the sims. :\ i’m seriously considering finding an artist on tumblr who’s comfortable drawing gore, so i can commission them to create the scene in my head lmao. or maybe i can learn to make some type of cc clothes that makes it to where it looks like a sim’s insides are exposed, but idek how i’d go about doing that like that seems so involved and i’ve never made cc before so??? yikes! also, i’m incredibly squeamish, so the idea of having to look at reference pictures of gore to get the insides to look correct, that TERRIFIES me. there’s literally just ONE specific shot of vlad lying on the ground with his insides all exposed that lives rent free in my head, and i’m sooo worried i’m not gonna be able to execute it correctly. everything else i can work with, but that ONE specific shot idek how im gonna recreate it! but luckily i’m still in the process of writing out the vlad/brie backstory reprisal, i haven’t even started taking screenshots yet, so that will be a problem for another time lol <3

196.8 for the last day 💗🙌

April 7 2023

Everything went smooth

🥰

April 11 : 176.0

April 12 : 174.6

April 13 : 170.4

- I'm thinking this has been all the water weight I've been accumulating but I'm hoping it keeps falling off 💗💗🤞🤞🙌 -

April 14 : 169.0

April 18 : 168.8 Making it a point to get lax and go to the bathroom -.- little tmi haha

April 19 : 168.0 disappointing 😑

April 20 : 166.8 lots of blood loss so idek

April 21 : 166.4

April 22 : 165.6 csection openned up 😑 hospital in a bit

April 24 : 161.4 ... I don't trust it.. ive shut my scale off , turned it on, moved it around the house and it stays the same... I hope its right

April 25 : 162.3 .. tested my scale and its correct. I used one of my workout weights so that's good.. should prolly focus on going to the bathroom again but ugh not in the mood to take lax nor deal with all the "extras" .. but last time I went was April 18th -.-

April 26 : 161.8

May 2 : 160.8

May 3 : 159.2

May 12 : been starving for about 2 weeks now and poppin adds. Been up all crazy hours taking care of the newborn which has something up with her, crying in pain constantly, she gets an ultrasound monday and if thats clear switching to soy formula... this will be the fourth formula... also ive been chugging water so I don't want to believe the scale but its saying 158 to 162 what the actual fuck. .. I feel like my legs have ballooned im really hoping I don't have fucking gestational diabetes man.. and if I did if im not eating wouldn't I like not swell? I lost another .5 off my waist but I'm getting fed the fuck up rn 😒

- Lost 16.8lbs

- Lost 37.8lbs