3,117 words in... not even close to halfway done.

my five favorite fics

I'm not really gonna do fav to least fav, these five are my favorite fics I've posted. The ones I'm most proud of and I suggest giving a read if you're bored someday, I'm not going to be spoiling anything just in case. Tagged by the lovely and fellow writer @not-so-mundane-after-all go check out her stuff too! ❤️

coming in at number one, surprise to no one!

1. Escapism

I will sing the praises of this fic forever. It's my pride and joy! I put my everything into this, my heart has been removed from my chest and given to this absolute mess (affectionate) of hurt/comfort. I take a lot of pride in this bad boy, it's my baby. I've been planning it since last summer, writing out timelines and ripple effects, it's my first fic that's written like a tv show with episodes instead of feeling like one big movie and it's so much fun! It's currently at 8 chapters, which is a big deal to me since I always struggled with keeping motivation for fics with long chapters, but chapters 9 and 10 are in the works now. This project has been so special to me, whether I end up finishing it or not (because it's huge) it'll always the fic I'm the most proud of and look back fondly on, it's like the 'favorite stuffed animal' of my fics. It's always gonna be around and I'll always adore it. The content and hard work I put into it aren't the only things that make it special though, writing it helped me meet one of my best friends @mombosslois , I don't even know if I would have gotten this far if it wasn't for her friendship and support. Seriously, one person can make such a big change in your life and it's amazing ❤

and to the mysterious accountless "J" who left a comment being very interested about Jon's storyline.. if that was you Jordan Elsass, I'm glad you like the fic and don't worry your boy has a lot coming his way. He is a main character, after all 😌

2. A Very Merry Crossover Christmas

I had so much fun writing this fic! I always wanted to write a Titans and Superman & Lois crossover fic that, unlike Escapism, had the whole core four interacting with the Kents and it ended up as humorous and sweet as I hoped it would. I wanna write a crossover like that again some time soon, like a summer vacation, because there's still so much to write about when the Graysons and Kents are together lol

3. Weaponized Fear

From Christmas to Halloween. This fic was planned and wrote for Gar and Gar only, there are no other characters in it until the very end. Everything is about him and how getting infected by Scarecrow's fear toxin made him have to meet his biggest fears face to face. It was a fic made to fill in the huge blanks in Gar's character like backstory and inner thoughts but all brought to life in a spooky way.

4. Colorful Tigers and Painted Sleeves

This one was a gift for @not-so-mundane-after-all . I wanted to give her a friendship gift and wanted it to be based off of her headcanon of Rachel getting paint on Dick's jacket sleeves. It took me months to think of the perfect storyline, I went through many different versions. Most were super angsty with Rachel’s reasoning for painting being she was scared of what was going to happen to Dick/or Gar and tried to get her mind off it because one version had Nightwing getting seriously harmed on a mission and another had Beast Boy. I'm more than glad with that version I ended up writing, more fluff and wholesome moments than anything and Rachel’s reasoning for painting is a lot better, in my opinion.

5. A Group of Crows is Called A Murder

I remember blanking out so badly on a name and just going with the title you see above just because I couldn't think of anything else and now it's one of my favorite fic titles 😂😂 It's pretty much just "dad rage mode" the fic, an au of 3x04 where Scarecrow uses Gar as a tool to mess around with Dick's brain a little, bringing up all his guilt and regret for what he allowed to happen to Gar and CADMUS because he refused to stay.. which is really something season 3 should have brought up but magical three month time skips erase all. I oddly really love this fic's vibes, reading it makes me think of Scarecrow as a wolf circling and hunting Nightwing who'd be a bird of prey carefully watching every move Scarecrow makes. It's pretty cool.

i'm very socially anxious and i'm starting university next month 😬 i don't drink much and i've never been to an actual party but i kinda have to start going otherwise i'm scared i'm not gonna make any friends at school so do you have any tips on how to act at a party? bc i can't dance, especially in front of others and i'm very nervous when talking to new people

omg hi i'm going to uni next month as well, let's figure it out together anon (yes this is a direct order to keep sending me asks i would like to be kept in the loop pls) <3

okay so believe it or not, i actually started drinking very late for what was usual in my peer group. (however pls note this is britain; by 'very late' i mean i was sixteen when i first got drunk). that means that while i do enjoy getting drunk now, i've also been the 'sober one' before, so i know what that's like.

for starters, you are under no obligations to get drunk. ever. and you will love yourself a lot more if you stick to whatever your personal limit is, be that one drink or no drinks, even if being 'sensible' or 'boring' can make things difficult at the time. trust me on this. it's not worth caving just to feel like you're fitting in.

the good thing about the age you're at now is that for a lot of people, the novelty of alcohol has worn off, and people are - in some ways - a lot more mature than they were when they were getting pissed in a field at the ripe age of 14. if you say you don't want to drink, aside some inevitable banter, people won't actually care, and if they do, they are very much in the minority and are not someone you want to be associated with anyway. it's actually a very big red flag of mine on a night out if i meet someone still into peer-pressuring at their big age. you have to be seriously insecure if you feel the need to make others uncomfortable like that, and remember that about people!! it's their problem, not yours, and it's very easy to tap into that insecurity without being confrontational if you don't want a scene, so long as you remember that all their false bravado is just that. false.

as for parties, please don't punch me for what i'm about to say but.... try and have fun. i say try bc i know social anxiety is not just a simple one-hurdle-leap-and-you're-fine thing; it's debilitating. but if you ease up as much as you can in the moment, even if it's only a little, then it'll help. at the end of the day, it's just a party, and there's dozens at uni for you to compensate if you make a tit out of yourself. and it's like i said earlier; at a party, people don't care if you make a tit out of yourself. i mean this nicely but when everyone is raving with music so loud you can barely hear when people shout in your fucking ear, and there's dancing and drinking and it's dark, who's gonna notice if you're dancing a little stiffly, or if you fall over, or say something stupid? it's so easy to lose yourself in a party and that's one of the reasons why i love them, because everyone just becomes one big crowd, and it doesn't matter what any individual is doing.

but if it really does feel overwhelming and you feel like everyone's staring and judging you, then some steps i'd recommend:

1) have a go-to person. now i'm gonna be very clear here, whoever you go to a party with, you stay with them. whether that be a group of 5 or just one mate, you stay with them. and i don't mean 'be glued to their side the whole night' bc that's not fun for anyone, but check in on them, and make sure they check in on you. this is a safety thing, but it's also nice to keep tabs on a familiar face. if things get bad, find your go-to person and spend some time just dancing/chilling with them until you feel a little braver

2) find a side room. preferably..... avoid the bedrooms. but usually, side rooms away from the main bulk of dancing are great, bc it's where drunk people go to have weirdly deep talks, and it's very calm compared to the noise of the party. they're good to have a breather. this is like the smokers area when clubbing. 11/10 experience; sometimes better than the party itself.

3) if all else fails, the bathroom is your friend. this is when you think you need to be completely alone without anyone pushing at you or talking to you or bothering you. you can lock yourself in and that's that. is it selfish for all the drunks needing the bathroom? yes. do people act completely self-indulgently at parties thus making the previous question void? absolutely!!! do whatever you need to feel better. no one thinks you're weird or a buzzkill. you will feel worse if you force yourself to just suck it up.

4) if you genuinely feel awful and you're not having fun and nothing you've done is helping, go home. i don't care if you feel like you've ruined the night, or your friends see you as a 'burden'. as someone who has gone home early for friends and also not asked my friends to take me home when i should have done, it's absolutely not a hassle. for as fun as they can be, parties can also get dangerously out of hand. listen to your gut. act selfishly if you need.

but honestly bestie, don't make a monster of this in your head. i promise you it's never as bad as you think. i was terrified for my first party, and now i spend weeks looking forward to them. like everything, it's about practise and figuring out what you are and aren't comfortable with. i promise no one is judging you as much as you think they are, if at all.

good luck!! i hope this helped even a little bit, i got a bit waffley but the thought was there <333