He looks so huggable and cozy in these photos 🥰

How You Met - SVU Gang

Olivia, Alex, and Amanda are mother AU because I personally would love to have one of them be my mother

Sonny Carisi:

    Ironically, you used to be a lawyer. You came from a rich family that always pushed you to do your best and moved from Boston to New York after secretly attending the police academy behind your parents' backs.

    I walked into the squad room, Liv had told me ahead of time that there were some changes but I wasn't expecting a whole new seating arrangement. "Y/N, I know you and Amanda work harmoniously together but we have a new guy so you're going to break him in." She gestured towards the man sitting across from my desk. I placed my stuff down and sat, ignoring him. I wasn't trying to be rude I just had a lot of paperwork to do

    "Nice to meet you, I'm Dominick Carisi Jr. but you can just call me Sonny." He stretched his long arm across the desk and I shook it.

    "Y/N L/N. I'm guessing you're my new partner, I'm happy to be working with you, Sonny."

Nick Amaro:

    You met him at the same time Amanda met him when he walked into the squad room with a full beard. Funny thing, you moved to New York long before Amanda, you were getting tired of Kim's shit. 

    "When are you going to stop bringing new people in?" Liv asked Cragen, it was almost like she wanted to be fired.

    "When you get over Elliot. Look at Y/N, she's recovering well." Cregen pointed at me.

    "I'm only doing well because Amanda is here. I'm telling you she can read my thoughts." I whispered the last part, earning a smack on the back of the head.

    "Well don't hate me for this, I'm partnering you with a Narcotics transfer, and Amanda, you'll be with Fin."

    "Jesus Christ, another one? Was Fin, not enough?" 

    "That was uncalled for." Fin jokingly glared as the elevator opened.

    "Oh wow," I mumbled when I saw my new partner I walked up to him and introduced myself. "I'm Y/N Rollins, you must be the narcotics transfer."

    "Is it that obvious?" I nodded and he chucked. "Nick Amaro,"

    "Careful Amaro, your new partner has a bad temper." Amanda chuckled when Nick turned to you shocked.

Rafael Barba:

    You were an elementary school teacher, first grade specifically. You met Rafael when one of your student's parents raped you for giving their kid a bad grade on a test. 

    "You know I'll never be able to return to my job after this, right?" I frowned and looked at the SVU captain.

    "Well, not at that school. But maybe another school would take you." The door opened and a man in a suit came in. 

    "Ms. L/N? I'm Rafael Barba, the ADA." 

    "Nice to meet you." I scooted away, scared he would touch me.

    "Now, I understand what happened to you, so let's win this. Yeah? Tell me what happened."

    "Well, I had requested for this parent to come in for a conference because his daughter was failing all her tests, he agreed and when he was in my classroom he pinned me against the wall and raped me, he kept saying 'no one fails my daughter, this is your fault'." 

    "Well, we got enough from the rape kit to arrest him, we just need a positive ID from you." I nodded, anything to but this perv away.

Olivia Benson:

    You were found in a pimp house that the squad infiltrated, and you were around 5 years old. Your mother pimped women out to "Give them better lives"

    "Everybody get down!" I heard a voice yell, and people started rushing in and pushing people down. I quickly ran to the corner of the room, trying to escape the chaos. A woman came up to me and crouched down to my height.

    "Hi sweetie, my name is Olivia, what's yours?"

    "Y-Y/N."

    "Nice to meet you Y/N. Don't worry, you're safe now." They brought me to a hospital to check me out, and once they were done they sat me in a room with toys, No one else was there though, it was just me, in a room, all alone. I decided to draw with some crayons. The door opened and the same women from before came in and sat across from me. "Hi Y/N, do you remember me?" 

    "Yeah, you're Olivia, you arrested my mommy." I continued working on my drawing.

    "Do you know why I arrested your mommy?" 

    "Because she sold women. I was next. She said I was going to a nice man named Josh."

    "Well, you're not anymore. What are you drawing?"

    "Me and Josh. Mommy had us meet, and said I had to be broken in."

    "Sweetie, did they make you do something you didn't want to do?" I rapidly nodded.

    "Something was shoved inside of me, I said it hurt and to stop, but they didn't."

Amanda Rollins:

Amanda adopted you in Georgia, after a case that involved your older sister. You were waiting in a room in the hospital for your 'new mother'

    "Hey honey, how are you holding up?" I recognized the woman, she asked me questions about my sister,

    "Good." I made one of my Barbies hit the other one.

    "Your doll says otherwise."

    "She's fine, just a bruise." I colored a purple mark on her forehead. "If she doesn't recover I'll have a nice burial for her."

    "....Okay... Let's go home, okay?" 

Alex Cabot:

    You were the daughter of a rapist, he would use you to lure women in, they would come to babysit you then he would pull them into the bedroom. You were a main witness in the trial, going against the person who gave you food and shelter.

    "Okay, are you sure you can do this?" Detective Benson rubbed my back, we were in the hallway, waiting for Detective Stabler to come to get me to testify.

    "Yeah-yeah totally." The door opened and we were motioned to come in. "No turning back now."

    "The people call Y/N Hewwitt to the stand." I took a deep breath and sat down, bad enough that I was testifying against my own father but the crowd staring at me just made it so much worse. "How old are you Miss Hewwitt?" The blonde ADA asked. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out, I could feel his eyes on me, and when I looked over he was giving me 'the look'

     "I-I uh,"

    "Answer the question Miss Hewwitt." The judge badgered.

    "I-" my chest got tight, "my-" tears blurred my vision, "10." I pushed out trying to calm myself.

    "Stop this madness, my daughter is clearly in distress." My father tried to trick everyone, oh how I wanted to see him get locked away.

    "The witness is dismissed."

    "No-" I wheezed out. "No-I-I saw it! He did it!" 

    "Miss Cabot, control your witness." The ADA came over to talk to me but when she touched me I broke even more.

    "Don't touch me! He would look for babysitters, tell them he had a 10-year-old daughter who needed to be looked after while he was at work, he would pretend to leave then come back and drag her into the bedroom. She would beg him to stop, he did that to at least 8 babysitters." There was a pause before my father jumped from his seat.

    "You little slut! I gave you a place to live and you ratted me out! You will die for this, just like your mother!" He was dragged out and I started sobbing the ADA held her arms out to me, I accepted this time and sobbed into her chest while she rubbed my back and promised I'd never have to do that again.

Clandestine

gif by @pajamasecrets

Masterlist

Author’s Note: As always thanks to @violentcosmicsymphony and @briefgalaxycat for beta reading and being wonderful humans.

Part Three of the Meet Me at Sunrise series

Previous Chapter: Return to Me

Next Chapter: Safeguard

Pairing: Marcus Pike x FBI Agent!Reader

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: None

Summary: Returning undercover, You and Marcus attend a charity gala to get an introduction to the forger.

You sat between Agents Regina Price and Maddox Collins on a slightly too small brown couch in Marcus' office as he briefed the three of you. You had received a call from a woman named Alexandria who you had met undercover inviting you and your 'husband' to a formal charity art auction. Recent intel suggested that the forger the four of you had been hunting would be attending and you were pushing for an introduction. Christian Laurent was a clever man, a talented forger who posed as a private seller targeting rich art connoisseurs. He sold his forgeries at extravagant prices to the unsuspecting victims. If you and Marcus could secure a meeting and 'buy' one of his paintings, you could finally arrest him.

“The two of us will leave for New York tonight. Price, Collins, you'll head up in two days. Hopefully, we'll have the buy set up by then. You'll provide support outside the buy.” Marcus paused, rubbing his beard. “Everyone please be vigilant. Laurent and his crew are dangerous. Unless anyone has questions that's all I've got for us.”

“I got the keys to the apartment I used back from White Collar Crimes. It's not too far from the gallery that's holding the gala. I just need to stop by my apartment to grab my stuff on our way out of town and I'm set.” you said as Price and Collins muttered their goodbyes and headed back to their desks, leaning back on the couch giving a small stretch. You couldn't help but give a sly smile as you watched Marcus look around, checking the coast was clear.

“I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to seeing you dressed up tomorrow night.” Marcus said softly, his cheeks reddening slightly much to your amusement.

“Well, I do aim to please,” you replied with an impish grin. “I also grabbed these... I had to guess on the size.” In your hand you held out a pair of platinum bands, simple but sleek. Not that he would have said it, but Marcus had been eagerly anticipating this, the idea of being your husband, if only for the evening, made his heart soar. He took the larger band from your hand and slipped it on his finger.

“Til death do us part.” Marcus said with a chuckle.

“Let's hope it doesn't come to that, my darling husband.” you replied with a laugh slipping the remaining ring on your finger.

----------

The next evening you found yourself back in the gorgeous studio apartment you had called home for six weeks in Manhattan. Standing in the bathroom you adjusted the gown you had chosen for the evening, a long-sleeved blue number with a keyhole back along with a slit up your right thigh. The neckline that extended past your breasts gave quite a striking impact and you were privately thankful that the rest of the team didn't arrive until tomorrow morning, so you were spared their prying eyes. Marcus called your name from the living room and with a final look in the mirror you stepped into the living room.

Your mouth went dry and it took effort to stop your mouth from falling open. Marcus stood in the living room in a nicely fitted black suit, he had opted for a black button down without a tie and the top button undone. You felt a small heat in your stomach as you took him in. You hadn't seen him in formal wear before, and boy did it suit him. It took you a moment to realize he had quite a dumbfounded look on his face as he watched you and it made you smile.

“You approve?” you said, arching an eyebrow and giving a small spin.

“That would be an understatement,” Marcus said closing the distance between you two. Snaking an arm around your waist he pulled you close to his chest taking your lips in a kiss. Arching into his touch you nipped lightly at his bottom lip, you felt like a woman starved for his touch. Marcus peppered your jaw line with kisses and you let out a soft sigh as he pressed one last kiss to your neck.

“We should probably get going” you said reluctantly but couldn't help but let out a small laugh as you looked at Marcus. A hint of your red lipstick was smeared across his lips.

“What?” He said with a puzzled smile. You pointed to your lips and watched as he scrubbed the lipstick off his own. Snatching your gun off the end table you slid it into a thigh holster hidden by your dress, Marcus watching intently with a look of lust in his warm brown eyes.

“Ready for a night on the town?” Sliding your hand into Marcus' you couldn't help but see the wedding band on his finger, the fantasy of him being yours forever was something you didn't think you would shake for quite a while.

----------

“Daniela! Darling, you made it! Is this the lovely gentleman you've been telling me about?” You turned at the call of your cover name. Alexandria made her way to you and Marcus looking quite stunning in a slinky black dress with her fiery red hair in loose curls around her shoulders.

“Alex! Yes! This is my husband. I finally managed to pull him away from the office for a night out.” You said tucking yourself into Marcus' side resting your left hand on his chest, wedding band catching the light.

“Sebastian Ramos, it's a pleasure to meet you. Daniela has been raving about your ability to track down the hard-to-find paintings we've been looking to collect.” Marcus said, his arm wrapping loosely around your waist. “You've put together a wonderful event.”

“You're too kind Mr. Ramos. I did manage to find that abstract painting Daniela was looking for,” Alexandria replied with a small swell of pride “The art dealer for that particular piece should be here tonight.” She peered at the crowd trying to spot him.

“That's wonderful news, I'd love an introduction if it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience. If I let that piece slip through my fingers the missus will never forgive me.” Marcus replied as you playfully swatted his chest.

“Absolutely, why don't the pair of you enjoy a drink while I try to track him down? Enjoy yourselves, I'll return shortly.” And just like that Alexandria disappeared into the crowd, a blur of red hair as she snaked her way through.

“Let's find somewhere we can talk.” Marcus said softly against your ear, his hand moving to the small of your back as he steered you to a corner of the room that was free of people. You were hyper aware of the warmth of his hand against the bare skin of your back.

“I can't help but feel guilty...” You admitted softly to Marcus “Alexandria is so earnest; it feels wrong to use her like this. I don't think she has a clue about who Laurent really is.”

“I know, but it's safer for her to not realize what he really is until we have him in custody.” He commiserated pulling you into his arms and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “But we are so close to the end and it's thanks to your leg work,” pride evident in his voice, making you smile.

“Well at least there has been a lovely bonus from all of this. I don't have to worry about someone seeing me do this.” Standing on your tip toes you captured his lips in a lingering kiss, until you heard someone calling for the pair of you.

“Mr. and Mrs. Ramos, I'd like to introduce you to Christian Laurent.”

tagged: @diva-1992, @yespolkadotkitty, @sarahjkl82-blog

Let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list 💕

Out Of The Blue - Part 3

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 1300+

Summary: Reader has some exciting news to share with her longtime boyfriend Chris but what happens when he beats her to it with some news of his own?

A/N: I think i got everyone who asked to be tagged, if i didnt please send me an ask so i dont loose it 🤣

Please like/comment/share 💕

Hearing Chris's voice i pushed back my chair and made my way to the front door.

"She's not here" i heard Alex say as i got closer.

"Come on man, its important...."

"Alex it's fine, i'll be okay" i spoke up. I saw Chris sigh with what looked like relief?... but it was quickly replaced with a look of regret, maybe a little fear. Good!

"I'll just be in there" he pointed back towards the dining room " if you need me...."

"I'll let you know" i smiled. Alex eyed Chris once more before reluctantly retreating.

"How'd you find me?" I asked crossing my arms, it was kinda like my protective barrier.... he hated when i did this.

"Um, you used your card for gas.... a notification came up on your iPad. I looked up the gas station and drove out there. I asked the cashier if she'd seen you...."

"Great" i rolled my eyes, making a mental not to turn of my notifications!

"She said she remembered you coming in because you looked exhausted and she tried to get you to stay in a motel. But that you told her you only had an hours journey... thats when i kinda figured this was where you were. I didn't think you'd come this far to be honest".

"Was kinda the point"

Chris nodded sadly realising that i came here because i knew he wouldn't think id drive all the way out to Chelsea's.

"I know I'm the last person you wanna see right now, but Y/N we need to talk about some stuff...."

"Not here, i don't want the kids hearing" i said stepping outside and walking across the street to where his car was parked.

Once we were both in the car i turned to face him trying to keep myself from crying, because my god that was all i wanted to do!

"So what do you wanna talk about.... how you cheated on me??"

"I made the biggest mistake of my life. Its over i promise you.... it was never serious, but what i was doing.... it should never had happened!!"

"You slept with someone else of course it shouldn't have happened!!" I shouted.

"I never slept with her!!"

"What??!"

"I never slept with her i promise!"

"But you said you've been seeing someone!"

Chris nodded running his hand over his bearded jaw "it wasn't about sex, we just connected on an emotional level....I didnt even realise it was a problem at first...."

he sighed "but i found myself seeking her out when i was having a bad day. When things got hard with us.... we'd been trying everything to get pregnant and it just wasn't happening"

"You confided in her??! About our relationship?..."

"I was stressed and i blamed myself..... i felt like i was letting you down. I felt us drifting apart...." he told me sadly "i don't even know when it happened. But i started spending a lot of time with her...."

"And less time with me. All while i was sitting waiting for you to come home like an idiot! I know it was hard trying to get pregnant Chris but thats no excuse for you doing this! You should have come to me!" I turned my head away to wipe away some stray tears that managed to escape.

"Please don't cry dahlin'...."

"How can i not??....."

"Tell me how i can make this right? I don't want to loose you...."

"Im not sure you can. Chris do you have any idea how this makes me feel?? I feel like I'm not enough for you..."

"You are! I promise you, you are enough..."

"Clearly im not or we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"So thats it? You're just gonna give up on us?"

"I wasn't the one who gave up on us. My god Chris, i would've done anything for you..... you were my world!"

"And now?....."

"Right now i can't even stand looking at you" i said sadly "my heart is in pieces..... i still can't wrap my head around the fact you did this. Its so out of the blue..... i thought we were happy" I cried into the sleeve of my jumper "i was so excited to tell you i was finally pregnant...... this baby couldn't have happened at a worser time. This should be one of the happiest days of my life but its been anything but happy".

"Will you just come home, please? We can sort this out...."

"I can't. I think we need some time apart"

"No..." he cried, tears running down his face "baby please don't leave me...."

"Go home Chris" i said quickly as i opened the door and stepped out.... i was in such a rush to get away from him that i didn't see the SUV coming towards me.

"Y/N!!!!" Was the last thing i heard before everything went black.

"Y/N!.... Y/N wake up....." i could hear Chris' voice as i slowly opened my eyes.

"Chris.....?"

"Yeah baby its me, you were dreaming" he said quietly as his hand stroked up and down my back. It was then that i realised i was laying in bed with Chris' arms around me.

It had all been a dream??!

I suddenly burst into tears, sobbing into Chris' bare chest.

"Hey.... hey whats wrong?" He asked tightening his hold on me "is it your dream?"

I nodded as i continued to cry "it was h..horrible! It felt so real...."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. Chris let go of me.... i think I'm gonna be sick...." i pulled out of his arms and ran to the en suite. I made it just in time before i spilled my guys into the toilet.

Once the sickness passed i headed downstairs telling Chris i needed a minute to myself. I knew it was a dream... he hadn't actually done anything wrong, but i was pissed at Chris and felt ridiculous! I was sitting on the sofa under a blanket holding a warm mug of Chamomile tea when he came walking in. He hovered in the doorway for a minute before finally coming to sit next to me on the sofa.

"Look i'm not sure what i did to piss you off but will you come back to bed please? You know i hate sleeping without you"

"You haven't done anything wrong" i reached out and took his hand "that dream just really shook me up"

"Talk to me.... you might feel better if you talk about it"

"I... i found out i was pregnant...."

"Dahlin, its gonna happen i promise...." he quickly added thinking that was the reason i was so upset, because that part of my dream was real.... we'd been trying to get pregnant for so long now but it just wouldn't take.

"Thats not what got to me..... i found out i was pregnant but before i got to tell you, you came home from work and told me you had been seeing someone else. It felt so real...."

"Sweetheart....." Chris looked at me sadly tightening his hold on my hand "it was just a dream. I would never do that to you.... you're my world. Id be lost without you"

"It was horrible Chris! It felt so real! I left and went to Chelsea' but you tracked me down..... we were arguing in your car one minute, the next I'm getting out to leave and i got hit by a car! then i woke up...."

"I know it felt real, but its not. Im not going anywhere, you're stuck with me"

He pulled me in and pressed a tender kiss to my lips "i love you".

"I love you too".

"Sweetheart?.... are you crying again?"

"Yes!" I cried loudly, my god i was a mess! Chris chuckled softly.

"You're not still pissed at me because of your dream are you?"

"No! Im just very emotional!"

"Okay don't get mad at me but, are you sure you're not pregnant?".

I sat up straight on the sofa and stopped crying long enough to think about when i had my last period.

"Oh my god.... i'm late" i gasped, I was never late! "Do you think this is really it?"

"I hope so dahlin!" Chris replied with a huge smile.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields @turtoix @dottirose

Out Of The Blue tags: @kenzieam @ilovetheeagles @mrspeacem1nusone @kawairinrin @coldmuffinpartycloud @memoriesat30 @idk123906 @thummbelina @uniquebeautyqueen

I love Supergirl 3x12

Ngl this episode was a real turn around for supergirl (not just bc of the supercorp gold) but i loved it. Melissa Benoist is so great as Kara it makes me cry. She balances the naivete (i dont know how to spell) of kara and her strength and dedication as well as her empathy and need to take care of those around her and damn is it just awesome. I relate to her and always have as a character whether you think she's gay or straight etc. She shows characteristics that anyone who's felt isolated,abandoned and without hope can relate to and shows that you can get through it even if it still lingers.

Trauma can be so subtle and then just weigh down on u at the drop of a hat and the idea of supergirl in general and this season shows that. It makes me so happy to see complex emotions played on screen especially for a female character. We never get to see how anger really affects women. Maybe in terms of a fight with a love interest but the anger at being oppressed and undermined as well as anger from trauma are never touched upon. Women aren't allowed to show realistic responses to trauma a lot of the time in media and supergirl has always shown that.

I know supergirl has made ppl irritated (trust me, i never wanna watch an interview again) and pissed off but i really don't want to see it get cancelled.

If it gets cancelled then what does that do? We got angry abt mon el so they cut his screen time and made him less irritating, lema gets to have a complex story and episodes centred around her, winn is getting a centric ep, alex and sam are gonna have something happen (probably) or we get to see alex be there for ruby which will be interesting as fuck. Mehacad gets to play chraming and james gets to be giardian more recently (still more improvememt needed there).

When theres a group of dudes directing and writing a show abt strong women or different sexualities and races (ik sg isnt very diverse at all and that should change) then they will make mistakes. "For good " had a female director.

A step in the right direction.

Telling writers to die and calling misunderstanding male writers terrible or misogynistic bc they wrote a shitty dude in a cw show isn't the way to go. We just look insane. It's a cw show, they want teen girls who cant get their boyfriends to shave their neck beards to drool over mon el and tune in every week with their mums. That's why he's there! He's bait and somehow turned into an annoying love interest. They could have done so many things differently ! And they are. There are improvements to be made but with the success of black lightning hopefully the cw's other shows will follow. We can hope and compliment progress and be fans who promote the good shit rather than nit picking. Draw guardian fan art and tweet the shit abt it as much as we do supercorp. Even if they wont acknowledge subtext the increased screen time for it shows they know the relationship (even as friends) is important. We're spending more time on shit thats never gonna happen rather promoting more of what we got. Tweet abt the lena centric eps so much (with less of calling katie mcgrath a dyke), tweet abt how cool guradian is and the stunts, how great kara's reactiom to lena being poisoned was

Tell the world that you think agent reign is cute as shit .

We need to build up rather than break down bc ship wars are always gonna be seen as insane.

Becausee they are.

Everyone ends up thinking the lesbians are crazy bc of a bad few and rampant homophobia on the other side gets ignored bc someone tweets at married actresses that they should raw their female costars in an instagram livestream.

It happens in every fucking fandom and i get it dont get me wrong, i'll look at anti-mon el memes til my lungs give out ( bc they're hilarious ) but damn we need to quell some of the hatred bc it won't get us anywhere.

It's not everyone and i'm not innocent but progress breeds progress and progress rn now would be to chill.

(Also can we stop calling actresses dykes bc even if they were out as lesbians that's not a cool word like we aren't throwing fag around abt male actors we think r gay)

Hi! Just letting you know that I've been having a rough month and reading+re-reading your fics (and comment fics! love the ones about the Graves kiddies/families and Graves' team in the cell lmao) has been a great stress reliever for me :) I really want to leave longer comments on your chapters but I think I'll only be able to do that when stuff gets better lol. For the time being, thank you for the lovely writings!

Hey, I’m really sorry you’re having a rough month.  I’m glad reading the fic and comment fics helps relieve a little stress, though.  Please don’t worry about comments!  I hope things get better for you soon.

And just in case it helps, I thought maybe you’d enjoy more comment fic just for you.  ;)

… This might actually need to be its own series of comment fic.  The Graves Brood vs. Ilvermorny

Ilvermorny, Massachusetts, October 1944

“Do you know,” Professor Jauncey mused, “I am starting to think I should just create a Graves-specific form letter to send to your parents.”  He sounded more wistful than anything else, as though the streamlined precision of a form letter would protect him from further Graves sibling antics.

Gawain was not sure why the headmaster thought a form letter would protect him, but he sympathized with the impulse.

Gawain loved his older siblings, but he was not blind to their faults.  Individually, Galahad and Olwen could be a lot to handle.  Together, they were terrifying.

“Sorry, sir,” he said, and meant it.  He had no idea how to make Galahad and Olwen stop being Galahad and Olwen, and he was pretty sure the headmaster didn’t either.  Gawain knew better than to try, but the headmaster didn’t seem to have figured that out yet.

Jauncey sighed.  “I really think you mean that,” he said.

“Well,” Gawain said.  “I’m not sorry about disrupting Professor Thompson’s class.”

The headmaster sighed again.  “Of course you’re not.  What are you sorry about, then?”

“Galahad and Olwen.”

Jauncey’s puzzled look went a bit strained around the edges.  A lot of people had that reaction to Galahad and Olwen, especially once they met them.  “What do Galahad and Olwen have to do with your disrupting Professor Thompson’s class?”

“Nothing sir,” said Gawain.  “I’m just sorry they’ve …” He made a vague hand gesture designed to convey Galahad and Olwen’s essential Galahad-and-Olwen-ness.  “Y’know.  Set a precedent for how the Graves family behaves.”

Jauncey looked down his nose at Gawain.  He had rather a lot of nose to look down, so it was a pretty impressive look.  “A precedent that you seem determined to follow,” he observed.

Gawain felt that was unfair, and said so.  “I am not!  I’m not crazy,” he hastened to assure the headmaster.  Galahad and Olwen were determined to follow Dad and Gwen and a lot of the Aunties and Uncles into MACUSA.  Gawain was pretty sure MACUSA and the rest of wizarding America would be safer for it, but he also thought that anyone who wanted to be an Auror was just plain nuts.  Anyone who voluntarily got chased and hexed and sometimes tortured by Dark wizards had to be off their rocker.

“Mr. Graves,” Jauncey said, repressive.  “Fascinating as this discussion is, I am not going to debate the relative sanity of anyone in the Graves family with you.”

Gawain squinted at him.  He was pretty sure that the headmaster had just implied that they were all nuts, but he wasn’t one hundred percent certain.  He wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not.

Probably not.  He was already in enough trouble.

“Right, sir,” he said.  “Sorry, sir.”

“Getting back to the matter at hand,” said Jauncey.  “Why don’t you tell me, in your own words, what happened.”

Gawain resisted the urge to make a face.  Dad liked that trick.  So did Uncle John and Uncle Alex.  It was an Auror thing.  Asking people to tell you what happened in their own words put them at ease, and it also made them more likely to slip up and tell you more than they meant to.

Gawain had gotten wise to that trick when he was about seven.

“Professor Thompson was teaching us about healing potions,” Gawain said, trying to make it sound like he wasn’t thinking very carefully about what he was saying.  “Today we were covering Pepper-Up, ‘cause we’re coming up on cold season, and he wanted to be preemptive.  And then someone asked if he meant for us to test the potion on ourselves, and Professor Thompson said yes.  And she said, that’s dangerous, sir, and he said, I assure you, Miss - Um.”  Gawain gave the headmaster a slightly panicked look.  He did not want to get Rosamund Weiss in trouble too.  She hadn’t even done anything wrong, aside from point out that it was wrong to experiment on children.  “Anyway,” he forged on.  “He said, I assure you that if you brew the potion correctly, it’s not dangerous at all.

“Except, it kind of is,” Gawain said.  “Because we’re students and we’re still learning, and I think Libby Frasier’s melted more cauldron’s than anyone else in Ilvermorny history, so her potion probably wouldn’t be safe to drink at all.  And Uncle Robert says that you should never, ever test a potion that you’re not completely sure of.  Especially not outside of a controlled laboratory setting,” he added, because Papa had a bizarre love of potions and he and Uncle Robert could go on about them for hours.  “Uncle Robert has this whole speech about lab safety,” Gawain added.  “I’ve heard it kind of a lot.”

Jauncey looked resigned.  “Yes, I gathered.  You seem to have it memorized.”

“Er,” said Gawain.  “I didn’t really mean to give the lab safety speech,” he said.  “It just kind of … happened.”

That part was the first out and out lie he’d told all day.  Professor Thompson had turned an ugly look on Rosamund.  Gawain knew that look.  It was the look that said Rosamund would be the one to try Libby’s potion, regardless of how it turned out, and that he wouldn’t let her go to the infirmary afterwards, either.

Gawain hadn’t wanted Rosamund to be sick.  The Weiss’ and the Graves’ were allies.  Sort of.  He didn’t think Dad and Director Weiss got along very well personally, but they had each other’s backs professionally and that seemed to be good enough for them.  Grown-up’s were weird like that.

Also, Rosamund was really pretty.  Gawain got kind of stupid around her sometimes.  He couldn’t help it.

So he’d cleared his throat and said, “Actually, sir, Miss Weiss is absolutely correct.  The dangers of cross-contamination alone present an unreasonable risk.”

Professor Thompson had stared at him.  “Mr. Graves,” he’d said, in a tone that suggested that Gawain was twelve and therefore dumb.  “Do you even know what cross-contamination means?”

“Contaminating one substance with another,” Gawain had said promptly.  “It’s dangerous in a laboratory setting, or with food, if you have allergies.  In a laboratory setting - especially a teaching one, like this one - you’ve no idea whether or not who used your workstation last cleaned it as well as they should have, so there’s a risk that your potion might be contaminated with whatever they were working on.”

“No one likes a know it all, Mr. Graves,” Thompson had drawled.

“Sorry, sir,” Gawain had said, obviously not sorry at all.  “It’s just, shouldn’t we be taught the principles of lab safety?  It’s important.”

Libby had raised her hand.  “I’d kind of like to know the principles of lab safety,” she’d said.

“That’s because you’re dangerous,” Atticus Lee had said.

“Exactly,” Libby had said.  “If there’s a way for me not to be dangerous in class, I want to know what it is.”

That had made a lot of sense to the rest of the class, and Gawain figured that was as good a time as any to launch into Uncle Robert’s Lab Safety Is Important And Here’s Why speech.

“You gave a twenty minute lecture on lab safety,” Jauncey said, drawing Gawain back into the present.  “The other students took notes.”

Gawain rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish.  “I might’ve been quoting Uncle Robert when I said there’d be a quiz.”

“And that just … happened,” said the headmaster.

“Yes?” Gawain ventured.

“Merlin’s beard,” said Jauncey.  “It’s Galahad and the dueling club all over again.”

“Hey,” protested Gawain.  “I’m not that bad.”

“Forgive me, Mr. Graves, but you and your brother have rather more in common than you think,” the headmaster said.

Rude, thought Gawain.  He kept his mouth shut, though.  Authority figures rarely wanted to know what you thought of their opinions.

“Please refrain from taking over your professor’s classes in the future,” Jauncey commanded.

“Yes, sir,” said Gawain.

“You will apologize to Professor Thompson,” the headmaster continued.

Since Jauncey didn’t say he had to be sincere, Gawain was willing to meet him halfway.

“Yes, sir,” Gawain said again.

“And you have two weeks of detention,” Jauncey finished.

“Yes, sir,” Gawain said.

Jauncey sighed.  “You can go back to class,” he said.

“Thank you, sir,” Gawain said.

“And Gawain?”

Gawain turned back at the door.  “Sir?”

“We do, actually, have your safety in mind.  I wish you’d trust that.”

If he really had their safety in mind, he’d have taken Gawain and Rosamund’s point and made sure that Professor Thompson didn’t make the students test improperly prepared potions on one another.

Gawain ducked his head, acknowledging the headmaster’s point.

He bet Galahad and Owen would have some ideas about how to deal with Professor Thompson, if the headmaster wouldn’t.

Terrifying wasn’t so bad, when it was on your side.  And there was nothing the Graves siblings couldn’t do, as long as they did it together.

I'll be missing you

I think with most every relationship you have, there is always special little things you’ll always remember, no matter what happens later in life. Here’s what I remember about the three relationships I’ve had: after three years with SMJ, i remember youremineforever, zimbabwe2kx3, and Lammie. after four years with MDS, There is really nothing significant that sticks out…except the fighting. after only 27 days with ALJ, and falling too incredibly hard, too incredibly deep, too incredibly fast, I remember everything….The first time I told you i loved you. The first kiss. The first time we had sex. The first time i spent the night with you…I remember the last time i spent the night and the last kiss I gave you, and the talk we had in your car later that day. I remember my heart breaking, and i know how badly it still breaks. The things I remember, however small and insignificant they may seem to anyone else, these are the things that have always meant a great deal to me. These are things that are my memories and are the things that it doesn’t matter who else understands or likes it or not. They belong to my heart. Everyone has their own. Good things and/or bad things that they remember. -Me circa ~2011 After so many years apart from each one of them here’s what sticks out: SMJ- I still remember Lammie, and Zimbabwe. I remember the first time we had sex. I remember peanut butter mayonnaise cheese and bologna sandwiches. I remember how your family became my family, and how happy we were when Aunt Dawn graduated nursing school and how terrified I was right along with you when your mom got hurt. I remember you telling me how Mr. Eww abused you. I remember wanting so much more for you that you could see in yourself. I remember slowly drifting away, though I can’t recall how or when it really all started. Its hard to pinpoint exact moments like that. I remember going to hang out with your sister after we had broken up and being so sad that you couldn’t even look at me. Like you weren’t even mad at me anymore, like you’d just completely forgotten I had even existed. Like a ghost you couldn't see even though I was standing right next to you. I remember holding your hand at moms funeral, I know how scared you were and even though we hadn't been together for a long time that moment was familiar. I'm glad that we have been able to move past all of the relationship-y feelings, good, bad, and otherwise, and be friendly now. Dare I say, even friends? MDS- As before, nothing good really sticks out in my mind. All we ever did was fight. You were abusive. I still remember, in terrorizing flashbacks, being cornered against the wall, or locked in the bedroom no way of escaping, and the fist flying at my face. I remember not being able to talk to friends or family because you always listened in and then would ask me why I care, and you always wanted me to get paid money for babysitting Alex you didn’t understand that they are family and I wasn’t going to ask for money to see them. Money you would have taken anyway. I remember constantly being accused of cheating on you, when it turns out you had been cheating on me. I remember being so afraid to leave, and yet for some unknown reason I really did love you, and didn’t want to leave. I remember you wanting me to spend nights with you and I would text my mom and tell her to say no and send that to her first. Then I would delete that message from my phone and ask her. I was so afraid to just tell you no. I remember you always telling me I was different around my family and when I told my mom you said this she explained that it was probably true because I felt I had more power around my family because they’d have my back and he didn’t like that. I remember always doing your homework for you. And not being able to go to college or have a job because you were afraid I would go home with someone else. I remember being so confused when your sisters got taken away from your mom because their dad was growing weed and selling crack out of the house and wondering why you would still do these drugs with your mom knowing how angry you were when the girls got taken away because of it. I remember all the times we spent at your aunt Kim’s house on the lake. That woman is the best thing that ever happened to you. I hope you appreciate her. I honestly believe she and her kids are the only sane people in your family. I remember your “size” and I remember the only reason that was even an issue was because you constantly brought it up and couldn’t let it go. I remember always being asked if SMJ pleasured me more than you did. I remember that was what finally broke us up. We were living at my moms house and you asked me that again and I guess I did have more power being at home so I told you I was done and you needed to leave. I remember you tried to take Avery and leave your bearded dragon. I remember the cops having to be called because you were getting loud and threatening. I remember trying to set up visitation rights for Avery. I remember that didn’t last long, I don’t know why, and then we didn’t speak again. I remember a year-ish later I was working at wegmans and you showed up with JL and JC. Not to buy anything. Just to try to intimidate me. I remember a few years after that working at ARC and you showed up at the house to deliver products from jostons paper. That was the last I saw you. Thank God. The only thing I miss about you is Aunt Kim. I hope someday that woman can knock some sense into your god damned head. I replay this in my head all the time. You scarred me in so many ways. I hope you never do this to another woman. And if your aunt even happens to find this and read it and find out all the terrible things you did, I hope she knocks you six ways to Sunday. Listen to her. AL- Last time I posted this we had just broken up. I was still hurting and everything feels a thousand times more intense when you’re in the thick of it. Now, I can’t really recall much. I remember spending nights with you in that little shop that was meant to be an office not someone’s house. I remember having to literally sleep on top of you because you only had a small futon not big enough for the both of us. I remember you having an ex that tried to warn me about you and I didn’t listen. I’m glad we didn’t last long, looking back now. I would hope you would have gotten your life together by now, but I know you haven’t. And now there’s another. SCA- I am still trying to put all the pieces together. Of all my boyfriends you were by far the best. I honestly can’t complain too much. You were really good to me and I appreciate that. I remember just feeling so comfortable with you right from the start I opened up to you quicker than I ever had before. I remember late lights and juicy juice and tumblr and reddit and grape juice guy. But things weren’t perfect. We were like a puzzle and the pieces almost, but never quite exactly fit together right. But so many little things kept us from fitting perfectly. We were never on the same page. I loved you so much I know I could have spent the rest of my life with you, but you never saw it. You weren’t in that place. And a part of me understands that its because of your shitty home life. A drunk, abusive mother and a father who just let it happen. He was never brave enough to walk away, and while the physical abuse didn’t happen to you, it took a toll on you emotionally and mentally. You learned to hermit into yourself and not rely on anyone for help while I sought out treatment. I got myself a therapist and a psychiatrist and got the meds and the help that I needed to at least try to fight the hurricane that raged inside me. You saw your primary doctor who you even admitted wasn’t really helping you, but you never got real help. And looking back I think that hindered us right from the start. I know my reliance upon you took a toll also. I was so busy trying not to drown in my floods that I think a lot of times I started to pull you under. And that wasn’t fair, so I'm sorry for that. You also kept the teeth thing from me with ample time over three years to tell me. I can’t promise that, had you told me sooner, everything would have been fine. I don’t know. I like to think I would have been glad you told me before three years, but I just can’t say with any degree of certainty. I haven’t spoken to you in over two years. And still I find myself wondering “what if…” much more frequently then I care to admit to anyone but my therapist. I only see you occasionally if I stop into Wegmans at the right time. And you look right through me as though I’m a ghost. And I suppose in some ways I am. I’m slowly (very slowly) learning to let go. Someday my bones won’t temble with every thought of you. Someday you’ll be nothing but a passing memory I can smile at as it fades past. Someday. So for now this is my list. I’m learning a little more everyday how to heal myself and let go. That everything in my life doesn’t always have to be all or nothing. I’m learning how to love myself more than some boy who can barely give me a second glance. Someday I’ll be proud of me again. Someday I’ll manage to glue myself back into one piece. Until then…~ 1 note Feb 14th, 2016

It's may be hard to realise but it seems that when a show has a female lead and lgbt rep, it will always be judged more harshly by it's own fans. We need shows like supergirl to go well so we can get more. Attack arrow for having one bi woman 3 seasons ago or having honestly terrible writing. Nah bc even queer ool have theur heads up cute white male leads' asses. Get angry at tge flash for hiribg so many lgbt actors and not making any of theur characters lgbt. For acting like Iris not fuckibg her adoptive vrither was some tragic friendzoning. For sidelining Wally.

How about riverdale giving black characters barely any screen time and promoting predatory relationships? Nah bc the male leads are handsome and quirky. People are still fucking watching supernatural after it being the blandest ass show queerbaiting for twelve fucking years.

Supergirl queerbaits, true. It hurts whatever. They fucked over Kara and their writing went awry laat season. But she's a role model for little girls. When i was younger, watching dbz, naruto, batman cartoons etc. I felt disheartened and conflicted abt the female characters. Were they even a match? Then I'd see stuff like Kim Possible and Spanelli in recess and i felt so much better even if i never actually watched a lot bc my brothers reigned the tv. I am so happy there are little girls out there like I was ( still am tbh) who are surrounded by boys, dominated by, verbally abused by, patronised by boys but get to watch supergirl leave morgan edge on a ship in the middle if the sea. See a woman face up to issues of consent ON HER PART. Because it's never too early to realise you shouldn't kiss someone who doesn't want it.

Supergirl's sexuality to anyone who's struggled with their sexuality is not straight and that's because we relate to her. The writers screw us over for sure. That isn't gonna stop a little kid watching alex come out and feel inspired. Sanvers ended abruptly and with more pain than necessary. We can't go back though. We can go forward. The supergirl are genuinely going forward, they listened about mon el, they listened about lena getting more screen time. Lames is dumb and I hope it doesn't happen but maybe it will get james more screen time. The women in this show talk to eachother about anything and everything. There are different dynamics with all of them and it's great. Sam and Ruby's relationship is going to break my heart. That kind of angst maybe isn't necessary but it's supergirl. Supergirl is dark af. The rebirth had her kill her deranged father who mutilated the corpses of argo city to bring it back before sending them to earth to murder humans. Supergirl is dark. Comics are fucking dark.

In my opinion, they shouldn't have even brought in Maggie sawyer, it literally didn't make sense. There are other characters of colour they could have brought in that fit the dynamic they wanted and what they did was just do a weird version of a beloved lesbian icon. We're all angry, they see that. Continue being angry, don't attack the actors, msg writers about how you feel. Don't make it about shipping because they won't take that seriously. For good reason as well. Like I'll make fun of Chris Wood's beard to my friends but I'm not gonna tweet hate at him.

Also SDCC hurt me a lot and I think it's the same for all of us. I think the residual anger is making us more critical but they aren't dishing out three dimensial female characters everwhere. They're actually cancelling their shows.

Please can we just keep supergirl going. Idc about the actors apart from katie, chyler and odette (the allies) it's about the characters right now. If we don't promote female leads they aren't gonna say, "yeah they brought in a white guy who owned slaves and belittled the title character whom he was supposed to love" or anything about sanvers. There's gonna be some dumbass article like "Do people really want female heroes?", or "Can a female hero succeed on mainstream tv?". The answer is yes, Buffy did it, Xena did it. Also it is important to note that the show probably can't make Kara lgbt. They can and they should, but she's a comic character before anything. DC obvs dishes out bi women like confetti (loving it) despite whether the rep is all we desire. Supergirl is different though, she's the all american girl of steel. Making her a lesbian is probably not in DC's plans, even if powergirl fantasises about wonderwoman and poison ivy was her first kiss. Same as they likely won't make superman lgbt, it's not gonna happen any time soon. So can we just appreciate what we have and contribute ideas and calm complaints to writers instead of going batshit at actors and saying absurd slutshaming bs about sara and alex's one night stand.

I'm pretty sure every lesbian I know who's ever had a break up has had a rebound night. It may not be in your character, one night stands aren't really something I strive for but they're all I've got. They just happen. Are fourteen year olds who've only seen relationships in fluff fics the ones making these assumptions? Fair enough, I'm a baby too but I don't wanna see supergirl get cancelled before arrow. Arrow, the blandest knock off batman show ever. Just think about how harshly you're judging "problematic shows" and then thinking about whether you're judging it more harshly bc it has women or lgbt characters at the forefront. Don't get me wrong, I understand why. These shows broadcast their problems more outrightly bc the lead feels the brunt of them. Kara getting tortured all the time for instance. Also lgbt characters being there means they're gonna have mistakes that people latch onto to hate on. The problems are more obvious but every show has them but with half the character development or focus on female relationships.