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emblem-fire · 4 years

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Black Eagle!Dedue AU

Dedue starts classes in the Blue Lions House, but he isn’t totally loyal to Dimitri like he is in the canon. In this AU, he is bitter about the Murder of Duscur and about Dimitri’s refusal to do anything in terms of reparations.

Dedue spends two moons in the blue lions and in that time, he is consistently belittled and degraded by Felix and Ingrid for his heritage. He doesn’t get this treatment from his other classmates but they seldom defend him. This refusal to take action leads to a rift between the Dedue and the rest of his class. For a while, he feels totally alone.

One day, Ingrid gets exceptionally racist in the mess hall and it draws attention. Again, none in the Blue Lions stand up for Dedue but to Dedue’s surprise, quite a few Black Eagles come to his defense immediately. This leads to a spat between the the black eagles, Petra, Dorothea and Ferdinand in particular, and Ingrid and Felix. Seteth breaks up the argument but before they leave, the Black Eagles invite Dedue to their table. Dedue thinks on it a minute before he stands with his food and he goes to join them. He starts sitting with and just generally hanging out with the Eagles from then on, but it doesn’t push him to switch classes.

From then, Dedue builds relationships with most of the Eagles.

Petra becomes friends with him first, and they bond over their mutual feelings of homesickness. They become good friends doing cool friend shit like hunting and fishing together and kicking the shit out of racist monks and students. Idk I just want them to be bros, dude.

Dorothea becomes friends with him by asking him about the arts of Duscur. He’s wary of her initially, but he eventually warms up to her and he even sings the songs he remembers for her.

Ferdinand tries to be a protector to Dedue at first but that annoyed Dedue more than anything. Dedue tries to explain that he doesn’t need a defender and that while he appreciates the thought, he would rather not have Ferdinand stick his neck out like that. Ferdinand obliges, albeit a bit confused as to why someone would refuse a noble’s protection.

Caspar becomes friends with Dedue because of how built he is. They train together all the time, and though Caspar is a bit too rambunctious for Dedue’s tastes, he indulges him anyways and he develops a friendship with him.

What pushes Dedue to leave the Blue Lions is his paralouge. Dimitri refuses to defend the Duscur rebels. He says that there are more important matters at hand, so he turns his back on the people who just want their homes back. Desperate and enraged, Dedue turns to the eagles and begs them for their aid. Without question, Byleth and Edelgard agree to help him and together, they help the Duscari rebels fend off the battalion of Faerghus soldiers. Afterwards, Edelgard offers the rebels a haven in Enbarr, so that they may live in peace. The rebels accept her offer and they go to Enbarr as temporary refugees, but with plans to take their lands back in one way or another.

Dedue is thoroughly shocked that Edelgard was so ready to aid his people who have been seen as lessers for so long and he’s even more shocked when she offers the people of Duscur her protection and a temporary home in Enbarr. It is here where Edelgard confides in Dedue that when she is Emperor, she wants to create a world of equals in terms of rights and protections. It’s vague but it’s enough for him to turn his back on Dimitri all together and join the Eagles because in this one act of aid, she has done more for Duscur than Dimitri has in his entire life.

Ingrid is predictably vindictive about his choice to leave, but everyone else is amicable about it, ranging from sad to indifferent.

When the war rolls around, Dedue doesn’t think twice about siding with the empire.

Dialogue vs former classmates

Dimitri

Dimitri: Dedue!

Dedue: Your Highness.

Dimitri: I don’t understand, how could you side with her? Can you not see the destruction that she has wrought?

Dedue: With her help, Duscur can reclaim what it has lost. She offers a future for my people, whereas Faerghus sees us as little more than a remnant of the past.

Dimitri: Faithless turncoat! Very well, then. If you fight for her despotic visions, then you’ll die too!

Ingrid

Ingrid: Duscari scum! I will rid you from the world for your treachery!

Dedue: No, Ingrid. You will only die trying.

Felix

Felix: Even if you’ve left the boar, you’re still nothing more than a dog. The only thing that’s changed is your master.

Dedue: I have no words for you.

Felix: Good. Come fight me and die.

Sylvain

Sylvain: So, this new world Edelgard wants to build is one where crests are insignificant?

Dedue: Yes. If you lay down your arms, I can promise you that you’ll have a place in it too.

Sylvain: Tempting, but I’m afraid I’ve already found a cause worth fighting for.

Dedue: Your sense of duty will get you killed.

Sylvain: I have the Lance of Ruin on my side, Dedue. I’ll take my chances.

Annette

Annette: I know I should hate you for siding with her…

Dedue: …

Annette: But, I don’t. I really do understand why you did.

Dedue: We don’t need to fight, Annette. Surrender, and I will see that you are treated with fairness and dignity.

Annette: I’m sorry, but I can’t. I will not lose my father again. Prepare yourself, I won’t go easy on you.

Ashe

Ashe: I was hoping we wouldn’t have to fight.

Dedue: As was I. I don’t suppose I can convince you to lay down your bow and surrender?

Ashe: I’m sorry, but no. I have a duty to fulfill. Even if it means I’ll die fulfilling it.

Mercedes

Mercedes: Oh! It really is lovely to see you again. It’s a shame that it’s like this, isn’t it?

Dedue: I don’t want to fight you, Mercedes. Please, stand down.

Mercedes: If only it were so simple, Dedue.

Endings in Crimson Flower route

Solo Ending

After the war finally came to a halt, the people of Duscur were able to reclaim what they had lost and then some. Dedue was widely celebrated as a hero to his people and he became the first leader of Duscur. The people wanted him to rule as a king, but he proposed a more democratic rule. Even so, Dedue was never voted out of office and under his selfless leadership, Duscur was able to bloom into a wealthy nation with rich art and world famous cuisine.

Ending with Ferdinand

After the war had finally came to a halt, the people of Duscur were finally able to reclaim what they lost and then some. Dedue became a hero to his people and together with the aid of Ferdinand von Aegir, Duscur healed from the scars of it’s past and it blossomed into a vibrant nation which was rich in trade and art. Later, after both Dedue and Ferdinand had passed, letters between the two were discovered, the contents of which were described by poets and scholars as the most beautiful and intimate expressions of love and gratitude to ever be written.

Ending with Petra

After the war had come to a close, Petra was finally crowned as the Queen of Brigid. From the very start of her reign, Petra worked hard to establish strong diplomatic relations with not just Fódlan, but with Dagda, Almyra, Morfis and the newly rebuilt Duscur. Dedue, as the new leader of Duscur, would meet with Petra regularly to make sure that their two nations grew strong together, though later, these meetings would become more private affairs. Eventually, Dedue announced that he would not be running for another term and he left Duscur to be with Petra, to whom he was wed almost as soon as he arrived in Brigid. The people were initially skeptical of him but Dedue’s tireless devotion to his new subjects earned him their love and admiration. To this day, Dedue and Petra are revered in both Duscur and Brigid and the two nations enjoy a high degree of camaraderie.

Ending with Dorothea

When the war finally came to a close, Dorothea accompanied her husband, Dedue to Duscur. Together, they got to work rebuilding Duscur, though in two very different ways. Dedue became the first elected leader of Duscur and his policies made sure that the country was built strongly in terms of infrastructure and with its economy. Dorothea, on the other hand, became a patron of the arts and she oversaw the creation of a new Opera company in Duscur which took in talent from all over the world. This diversity of artists effectively revolutionized art itself, and before long, Duscur was known far and wide for it’s wide array of arts. For as busy as the couple was, however, they always made time for one another and it is said that no union was ever as happy and serene as theirs was.

Ending with Caspar

In recognition of his daring deeds during the war, Caspar was offered the position of Minister of Military Affairs, but he declined. Instead, Caspar accompanied Dedue and his people to help rebuild Duscur. Unfortunately, hatred for Duscur persisted in the north of Fódlan. This led to the creation of a military dedicated to the defense of Duscur, helmed jointly by Caspar and Dedue. Thanks to their tireless efforts, Duscur remained safe and in time, the nation was able to heal and bloom into a wondrous country of wealth and formidable military might. To this day, Dedue and Caspar are remembered as the greatest of all of Duscur’s heroes, even being called the sons of the War God by some.

Ending with Bernadetta

After the war had finally come to a close, Bernadetta was granted the Varley territory, but instead of taking over, she chose a more adept successor and relinquished all claims to the territory. From there, she became a traveling artist of great renown. She ventured far and wide, from Brigid to Sreng to Almyra, but eventually, she found herself in Duscur and she fell in love with the culture. Her paintings of Duscur and it’s denizens became beloved by the people to the point were Dedue, the new leader of Duscur, had to beg her to stay. She inevitably stayed and with her help, art museums were established in Duscur. In time, these became among the finest in the world, filled to the brim with the beautiful works of Duscur’s many artists.

This was pretty cool to write haha. If anyone is interested in me writing more endings for this AU or maybe even Dedue’s supports with the Black Eagles and the Golden Deer let me know!

#dedue molinaro #Bernadetta von Varley #caspar von bergliez #dorothea arnault #Edelgard von Hresvelg #ferdinand von aegir #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #petra macneary #Fire Emblem Three Houses #au #black eagles #blue lions #fe3h #ashe duran #Annette Fantine Dominic #mercedes von martritz #sylvain jose gautier #felix hugo fraldarius #ingrid brandl galatea

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impracticaldemon · 7 years

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Gajeel of the Shinsengumi: Epilogue (Gajevy Week 2017)

Fairy Tail (Gajevy) Fanfiction by Impracticaldemon

Words: ~7800 | Also on FFN and AO3

Author's Note:

I promised this Epilogue quite some time ago, and I've finally finished it. I hope those readers who enjoyed the main chapters will enjoy this chance to see Gajeel and Levy's relationship develop further, as well as the more detailed explanations regarding other Fairy Tail characters.

Now that the Epilogue is done (I'm told that it reads more like "the end of Book 1"), I feel even more strongly that this story is really two AU's in one. First, this is a Fairy Tail x Shinsengumi AU - "Fairy Tail in 1864 Edo Japan, during the dying years of the Tokugawa Shogunate". Second, this is a "What if?" AU - in this case, "What if Laxus had won the battle for Fairy Tail?"

Gajeel of the Shinsengumi—Epilogue

The meeting room contained most of the captains, together with Vice Commander Hijikata, known in this company as Jellal. They were all well-known to each other, but the mood was serious and the room fell silent the moment that Jellal raised his hand. There were no illusions—quite literally—among this group.

Gray sat off to one side, as quiet and still as usual since the loss of Magnolia and the capture—or death—of Juvia. Gajeel, sitting closest to him, still didn't know whether the ice wielder had ever returned Juvia's ardent love; regardless, the other man had taken her loss as bitterly as Gajeel, who had been her closest and oldest friend. Across from Gray and Gajeel was Natsu, arms crossed tightly over his chest, and brows lowered. He wasn't altogether pleased about the subject of today's meeting, although he accepted that it was necessary. Beside him, looking cheerful and more or less recovered from his—no her—head wound, sat a blond-haired captain wearing a colourful, sleeveless tunic and black leggings. Hers was the only smile in the room, and it had a sharpness to it that contrasted oddly with her large, velvety brown eyes. Completing the rough square, and directly across from Jellal, sat Kanna and Erza, the former looking as relaxed as usual with her arms up around one knee, and the latter sitting in a perfect seiza position with her hands folded and her back ramrod straight.

"We are here to determine whether the young Yōsei woman known as Levy is to be told the details of our story and given information about our opponents and why they are so eager to find us. She has only been with us a few months, but she has taken our Oath and bears our Mark. Since the Shinsengumi, as a fighting unit and Shogunate militia, will be taking on new recruits over the course of the winter, it is important to ensure that the Exiles remain well-organized and secret within its core."

There were nods from the assembled Fairy Tail Guild Exiles. Jellal turned to Natsu.

"We'll begin with your comments, Natsu."

Natsu set his strong, blunt-fingered hands on his knees—he was sitting cross-legged, like most of them—and leaned forward. His face was now intent rather than annoyed.

"I know you all think that I'm being stubborn as hell because my answer's always no—and you always outvote me in the end anyway—so here's a surprise for you: I say we tell Levy everything and see what happens. I've spent a bit more time with her in the past month, although not too much"—his eyes glinted mischievously at Gajeel—"and I think she's solid. Plus, she's had a pretty rough time of it and learned some tough lessons. When I first saw her, I thought she was cute; now I think she's cute and tough as nails underneath."

Caught off-guard by the whole-hearted endorsement, Gajeel gave the Salamander a look of startled respect. When Natsu grinned at him, the amused glint in his eyes even more apparent, Gajeel looked away again, annoyed at having given himself away, especially to Charcoal-for-Brains. Then he reminded himself that Natsu's teasing wasn't important, but his opinion was, and he'd given the go-ahead.

"You all know what I think," said the blonde next to Natsu, known to Levy as Tōdō Heisuke, Captain of the Eighth Division. "Tell her everything. The girl's as tough and wary as they come, even though it's obvious that she's got the true sensitivity of the Yōsei Old Blood. Also, Black Steel Gajeel over there has lost his heart to her and that's pretty impressive. I want to get to know her better."

"Thank you, Lucy," said Jellal, before either of the Dragons could react. It was always good policy to stay a step ahead of them if possible; otherwise meetings tended to get off-track. "Your preference is noted. Erza?"

"She will be a valuable companion. I say yes."

"Kanna?"

"The more the merrier. Her human foster-mother raised her right—always good to have a solid, healthy distrust of men." Kanna grinned at her colleagues. "Present company excluded, of course."

"Gajeel?"

"Yes. Tell her what she wants to know. Lettin' her guess at stuff is dumb."

"Gray?" Jellal spoke over whatever snarky comment Natsu had tossed into the conversation about Gajeel's answer being obvious.

"Levy is old enough and wise enough to be told what we are facing."

"Very well." Jellal surveyed the Exiles and his lips curved into an unusual smile. "As proxy for Makarov-sama, I will make the decision unanimous. Lahar and Lily have already given me their approval."

"Gajeel," Lucy said softly, leaning forward. "You'll explain things to Levy-chan, of course. But please tell her from me that whenever she wants to come by to talk I'll be happy to see her."

The big man opposite her nodded decisively. "Will do, Bunny-girl, thanks."

Lucy growled unconvincingly at Gajeel for the dumb nickname, but the others all had odd looks on their faces, quickly hidden behind serious or mocking or neutral expressions. They were all worried about Lucy—for good reason—and they all took some comfort in those moments when she was more like her old self: cheerful, outgoing, and determined, without the sharp edge that marked so much of who she was now. Nobody was surprised when she and Natsu left the meeting together bantering companionably. Natsu was always at his best when Lucy had her longer moments of normalcy. Or what they still hoped was normalcy.

Levy was humming to herself as she set out the evening meal for herself and Gajeel. The last two months had gone well: she was more competent with a sword, far more confident as well as competent with her magic, and a great deal more comfortable around the Exiles (although she still couldn't quite feel like one of them). She stopped for a long moment when she saw herself in the small mirror that hung on one wall, suddenly conscious of the fact that she looked happy and self-aware enough to know that it was about more than just weapons and spells and having a place to belong—although all those things were very important as well. In her mind's eye, Gajeel's strange red eyes glinted knowingly and his mouth was drawn into a distinct smirk that showed pointed canines. Levy felt the blood rushing to her cheeks.

He had been true to his word. Over the days and then weeks that had passed since their first night together in their new quarters, he had rarely alluded to their discussion, and never pressed her for demonstrations of affection, although he would occasionally stroke her hair when it was loose on her shoulders at bedtime—though not for long—or gently brush her cheek with his fingers in passing when they were alone. And every night that he wasn't out on patrol, once Gajeel was lying still and ready to sleep, Levy would move her small pillow closer to his shoulder and curl a hand around his arm before closing her eyes.

The difficulty was that as Levy grew more comfortable with Gajeel, the way she felt about the man would occasionally catch her unawares and she would find herself half-way toward some small, intimate gesture if they were alone together. This is turn would frighten her, and she would freeze, wide-eyed and anxious, watching Gajeel methodically set aside what he obviously wanted in order to preserve their status quo. Most of the time it was hard to believe that he was in some way a dragon, as that part of him showed only in his eyes, or in the set of his teeth and jaw, or in the way that his hands curved as much into claws as fists when he was upset. But more of the dragon always showed when he was aroused, and those strange times when she found herself turning to him without reserve seemed to inevitably kindle desire.

And then there was yesterday. Yesterday, Levy had met Gajeel after his afternoon patrol, and they had walked back to their room together, talking companionably about the ever-increasing tensions in Kyoto now that the Chōshu had officially been declared Enemies of the Court and harsh inspections had been imposed on anyone entering or leaving the city. Something about how normal it all was had silenced Levy's self-imposed warning system—or maybe it had simply been the right time. In any event, as she had stood in their room, watching Gajeel wash off the day's grime, Levy had found herself very aware of the man and not at all of the conversation. Without thought or hesitation, she had reached out and run her small hand across his bare collarbone, enjoying the sensation of touching his skin, and the warmth that seemed to be pooling in her lower abdomen.

It had been less than a second later that she had found herself swept up—quite literally—into a tight embrace, and although it was Gajeel who had lifted her off the floor, she was without question the one who had tightened her fingers in his dusty black hair and brought her lips to his in a passionate kiss. It had been a shock to find out that she felt not just affection—the word love still did not come easily—but desire. She had never felt the tiniest flicker of it in the past, which had seemed to confirm to her that it was a shameful thing, confined mostly to men and inflicted on women as one of the (many) degrading disadvantages of being born female.

Kissing Gajeel, her slight frame held firmly against his bare chest, irrevocably shattered Levy's belief that the desire for physical intimacy was merely a necessary evil of any relationship with a man. She was too inherently rational—and fair-minded—not to admit that perhaps there could be pleasure in it for women as well, under certain conditions. Of course, those thoughts came afterward. In the moment—and this is what made her cheeks burn now, as she mechanically finished setting out the private dinner that Gajeel had requested—she had kissed his lips with complete abandon, and allowed her hands to explore the warm skin of his neck and shoulders and upper chest with equal lack of restraint. In retrospect, she had to acknowledge how careful he had been not to take advantage of the moment to do much more than hold her steady and return her kisses, although her lips had been bruised for hours afterward from that alone.

Levy sat down in front of her meal, suddenly unable to face walking to the front gate to meet Gajeel. She remembered the first feeling of his teeth and tongue against her lips and raised her hand to touch them, swallowing. It had been so strange—as though her nerves were on fire but not with pain. Even the memory of it made her shiver slightly now, which was strange considering that the weather was still warm. His tongue had been slightly raspy, and he had teased her lips apart with it, before setting about tasting and exploring her mouth. She had done her best to respond, but had mostly been content—a weak word for how she had felt—to let him do whatever seemed best. She would learn for the future. The thought made Levy shake her head at herself and her weakness. One kiss—well several really—and she was already hoping for more, all her fears not so much forgotten as currently overwhelmed with sensation. She really needed to get her mind off such perverted thoughts…

The door slid open—she had sensed Gajeel, but hadn't dared look up—and then closed. There was a short silence, and Levy knew that if her face could redden further then it would. Even her ears were hot.

"Ah, Levy?" Gajeel's voice sounded odd; it was both constrained and low enough to be almost a growl.

"Yes, Gajeel?" Agh, she sounded so fake and squeaky! She tried again, taking a deep breath and then looking up with an attempt at a light smile. The smile died on her lips when she saw her—friend? comrade? companion? mentor? lover?—with his back against the door, his red eyes wide and distinctly draconic and somehow glowing, and his fangs half-bared. There was… there was a hint of alien-ness about him even beyond that, and a sense of wings that was really just her perception of the slight shadowy darkness that somehow rippled at his back.

Levy should have been shocked—in fact she probably was—but her conscious thought was that this was fascinating, as well as slightly terrifying. She tried to stand up, but Gajeel waved her back.

"Don't come closer, okay? Just… don't. You won't like it if you do anything… with me… when you aren't quite yourself."

"But I am—"

"No. Look… I'm older than I seem, I know what I'm talking about. Dragons aren't the tamest creatures, and I seem to have overestimated my control. Or maybe I underestimated you—I thought your fear of getting too close would keep you safe."

"Safe?" Levy was finally starting to come down from the slight euphoria brought on by her previous train of thought. Old anxieties started to override new feelings. "What do you mean? Should I be running?"

The man—dragon—by the door drew a shallow breath and seemed to relax slightly. The shadows at his back became more insubstantial, although they didn't fade entirely.

"Good—that's better. I think you're all you now."

"What do you mean? Stop being so cryptic, it really isn't helping."

"Ah… well… you see, all the clans have their strengths and weaknesses, but Dragons tend to become a little overwhelming as they get older. I mean, all the older Fae are like that but Dragons are, I guess, acquisitive by nature—not necessarily of things…"

"Not following." Levy was pleased that she sounded calm and reasonably cool now.

"We're really good at making people want what we want—not even on purpose, although I guess it's usually on purpose."

"For the gods' sakes Gajeel, what are you talking about? Are you saying that you've been controlling how I feel because you want me?" The last part wasn't especially calm or collected, and certainly wasn't cool.

"No!" Levy saw that the "dragon" seemed to be fading away more quickly now; Gajeel looked much like his usual six-and-a-half-foot, red-eyed, black-maned self. Which was perfectly normal, right? "What I'm saying is that I'm trying very, very hard not to influence you! And you'd know if I did—at least eventually you would, which is why I'm working at it so much, dammit. And—and—I already told you that Titania would kill me—after skinning me alive or something nice like that—if I laid a finger on you when you didn't want me to."

"Would she know?" Levy found herself asking, although she realized as soon as she said it that it didn't matter. She trusted Gajeel. She really did. Even now.

"For fuck's sake, Levy! If she didn't then Jellal would! Somebody would, I promise! Come on, give me a break… I just wanted to have dinner with you, and finally get to tell you all the stuff I couldn't tell you before… And next thing I know you're thinking about yesterday and that makes it really, really difficult to concentrate." He stopped, and Levy blinked when she realized that he was blushing.

"Gajeel?"

"I knew you were trouble when I saw you," he muttered.

"Likewise."

There was a short silence, and for some reason a lot of the tension seemed to dissolve. Levy found herself breathing a sigh of relief. Gajeel stepped forward, although rather tentatively.

"Okay, no problem, we can do this."

"What? Try to have some kind of relationship where you aren't encouraging me to have perverted thoughts?"

"Ha. No, perverted thoughts are fine as long as they're your own. But seriously… Levy, until you decide what you want, or you gain enough power—which will come—I'm just going to have to be patient. That's on me. That's my agreement with our illustrious leaders."

"About me?!" Levy started to feel annoyed again.

"Hey. They take your safety seriously. Don't knock it."

"Dinner's getting cold."

"Let me wash up."

Levy suddenly felt a stab of panic—the first in some time, barring what had just happened. She didn't want to lose her free will, or set Gajeel off again somehow. But did that mean that now she really had to repress everything? She'd just been figuring it out, too…

"I'm… worried."

Gajeel walked over and pulled her to her feet. "It's not your fault that I screwed up. Please forgive me and trust me not to screw up again. You're safe, even though it might not seem that way. You don't have to close yourself off again. I misjudged how you felt—I honestly couldn't believe you might feel that strongly and I didn't take enough care. I still want you. I still want you to want me. If you can, remember that I didn't actually harm you. And I won't. I promise. I can protect you, even from me, until you're sure about things."

Levy blinked away sudden tears. Dammit, not now. She wanted to show Gajeel how strong she was.

"Better yet, you're going to make sure I can protect myself, right?" Her voice sounded steady, but she knew Gajeel could probably tell it was a bit of an act.

"You got it, Shrimp."

"Hey!"

"You know, you're really tiny." Gajeel lift Levy up by her waist so that they were eye to (now glowering) eye. "Can we start over? Like, we'll pretend that you weren't pining for me—"

"Ugh!"

"And we'll also pretend that the idea of you pining for me didn't turn me on to the point that I kind of lost it. Deal?"

"Is that really what happened?" Levy asked curiously, no longer glowering.

"Pretty much. Look, try not to hate me, but I can sense you pretty well now, and also… well, there's lots of ways to tell how you're feeling."

Levy sighed. "Your sense of smell, your hearing, all that stuff right? Well I don't like it, but okay."

"You pick up on things too, you know."

"I do?"

"Sure. Oldblood Yōsei like you… you've probably had to spend half your life not picking up on what people are thinking and feeling."

It was true. Levy had always longed for the silence of her pantry-bedroom, as a break from all the swirling background "noise" of people. She just hadn't realized how much of it was literally in her head. It gave her a sense of relief to have even that tiny bit of corroboration for the idea that she truly wasn't helpless—she just needed more training.

"This is really undignified. Put me down."

"Waiting for me to take my shirt off?"

Levy brought her hands together and pointed. She'd been getting really good at the characters for "ice" over the long, hot summer. Gajeel only grinned when the miniature ice blast caught him between the eyes.

"Not bad, short stuff, but I've had to put up with Gray for several years now—that was just kind of refreshing, you know?"

Ignoring a half-hearted jab to his shoulder and the trickle of cold water down his face, Gajeel pulled Levy closer, still holding her by the waist like a doll. Levy felt a stab of anxiety—he was going to kiss her, unless she said no. She didn't want to say no. She wanted to trust him. To her relief and disappointment, Gajeel merely touched her forehead to his and then set her down. Levy could tell that he was trying not to grin.

"You could help me wash up this time," he suggested slyly, finally taking off his uniform coat and slipping his arms from his hakamashita. He soaked and then wrung out the cloth that Levy had placed by the wash basin and held it up suggestively.

"I thought you said you wouldn't try to influence my—my affections," stammered Levy, trying for disdainful but ending up with flustered.

"Well you've got that wrong," Gajeel responded promptly. "I'm going to try to make you want me as much as I want you—I just have to make sure I don't push you into it. No magic, no weird dragon stuff. Also, no taking advantage when you had nowhere else to go." Despite his brash words, not even the sunset could fully account for the red in his cheeks. "Ahhhh… It's all been kinda complicated to be honest. Probably why it went wrong earlier, too. If you're really one of us then I don't have to be so damn careful all the time."

Levy could feel her ears turning red again. That was a very direct statement, and she'd been taught to be carefully indirect. But maybe it had to be this way between them, to avoid misunderstandings.

"Do you honestly expect me to say yes to helping you wash, or are you just trying to shock me?" she responded at last, folding her arms and frowning up at him.

Gajeel looked a little abashed. "Ah… maybe a bit of both?"

"I never took you for such an optimist."

"Me neither. Who knew?" He shrugged, managed a toothy grin, and then rapidly washed his face, neck and upper body, finishing with his hands and then rinsing the cloth and leaving it neatly to dry.

Levy discovered that despite her best intentions, she hadn't managed to look away. She also seemed to have moved closer. Gajeel shot her an amused look, but refrained from comment. He sat down by his dinner tray, crossed his legs and held out his hand.

"Come sit with me for a bit, Levy-chan. Dinner and heavy secrets can wait a little longer, especially when you keep looking at me like that."

I can't believe I'm doing this, Levy thought, as she sat down rather gracelessly beside Gajeel. I didn't even make him put on a shirt! She wasn't at all surprised—or resistant—when he picked her up and set her in his lap.

"So…" Gajeel cleared his throat, and Levy felt his chest rumble against her ear. "Maybe I'm trying too hard to get things back to where they were before. But maybe this is okay. Is this okay?"

Levy realized again that the widely-feared Black Gajeel was more anxious than he'd seemed. Either way, she'd already made up her mind.

"This is okay." Realizing that she'd become rather passive, which didn't sit well with her, Levy yanked lightly on Gajeel's hair. "And you know it's okay because of all those awesome senses of yours, right?"

"Ow!"

"As if."

Her companion smirked, and gave a half-laugh that sounded oddly like "gi-hi". Then he raised his hand to the knot holding her boy's ponytail in place. "Mind if I do something about this? I like your pretty blue hair."

"You're awfully poetic for a blood-thirsty captain of the Shinsengumi."

"True." Gajeel waited patiently for a clearer answer, and finally Levy muttered "yes… alright."

Her hair came free of both string and ribbon, and she suddenly felt the odd warmth in her lower belly again. Only a husband or a lover should be doing this, she thought. Except that Gajeel had seen her hair down just about every night already, so why did it matter? It made her realize that context and intention could make a big difference. The situation had changed. She looked up into the strange red eyes above her, and then pulled Gajeel's face down to hers. She had to stop letting shyness and embarrassment make her freeze, especially now.

Firm lips, pointed teeth, a slightly raspy tongue. This time, Gajeel didn't need both hands to hold her, since they were sitting, and the calloused fingers of his free hand traced gentle lines along her jaw and neck, before shifting to tangle in her soft blue hair. The feeling of Gajeel's large hand around the back of her head should have made Levy uneasy, but she discovered that it was much more exciting than frightening when the passion was mutual. It was just unfortunate, to put it very mildly, that she'd never heard of such a thing before. Presumably, there were other women in the world who—

"You're always thinking, aren't you?"

It took Levy a moment to realize that Gajeel was speaking to her; she had once again been rather lost among all the new and surprising sensations. She loosened her hold on her companion and blinked up at him.

"I… don't know. I suppose that's a little bit true."

"Hmm." Strong arms hugged her back into a heavily-muscled chest.

Levy listened for a few moments to Gajeel's heart beat—it was definitely faster than normal, she decided, pleased. She didn't want to be the only one.

"I could sit with you like this for a long time, Levy-chan, but we should probably eat, and I do need to tell you a few things."

"Shall I go heat up the soup? The kitchen isn't far."

Gajeel huffed a soft laugh. "It would have been more flattering if you'd protested a bit about having to move."

Levy ducked her head. "O-oh. Yes, I see what you mean. When I'm thinking about things I kind of react instinctively, I guess. It keeps me out of trouble"

"It's hard to get over being a servant, isn't it? Especially when an operation like the Shinsengumi—or an exiled Guild—still means you have to follow orders."

Levy shrugged uncomfortably. It made her wonder though—as a man and one of the People, what did Gajeel know about fear and helplessness? She decided to pursue that thought another time.

"Um, I'm not quite sure what to do right now, Gajeel..."

"No, I see that. The problem is that what I want to do and what I should do are two very different things. So you're getting mixed signals."

"Then it's up to me, right?"

"And?"

Although Gajeel's tone when he spoke of what he wanted to do gave Levy that same shivery feeling she had had earlier, her mind was made up. She was good at that, most of the time.

"I'm going to get up and pour water for us. We're going to eat dinner together before it spoils. Over dinner—and after, if necessary—you will tell me what I need to know. I'm starting to feel really curious again. After that, we'll see."

"Yes ma'am!" The words and tone implied immediate action, but Gajeel leaned down to steal one more kiss.

Time passed. Levy finally put both hands on Gajeel's chest and pushed. The gesture was physically ineffective, of course, but Gajeel took its meaning and reluctantly tore himself away. His nerves jangled with arousal, and his various senses told him that the Yōsei girl felt the same way, but this time his control held. He reminded himself that control was a good thing, in this case. For now. He allowed himself to be chivvied and chided into eating his lukewarm dinner, but he didn't taste much of it; in fact, it took a while for him to notice much beyond Levy's scent and the rhythm of her heartbeat.

"It's not a happy story," Gajeel told Levy after dinner—and after he had told his overactive hormones to shut up and give it a rest.

Levy nodded, her warm eyes—so much brighter now than they had been all those weeks ago—fixed intently on his face. She was sitting comfortably cross-legged, a position she'd had to learn to use as part of her disguise; in ordinary Japanese society it was considered vulgar for a woman to sit that way. Gajeel didn't care one way or the other, of course—he just liked the fact that she was relaxed enough now to sit however she wanted.

"The civil war—the coup—that led to the Split was short and messy. Laxus set it up well ahead of time and executed it almost perfectly—him and the demon Freed, his captain, and a few others. I think I told you that Laxus is a powerful demon-dragon cross-blood, right? He's more dragon than anything, now, from what I saw—I think he experimented with some kind of magical augmentation."

"You mentioned Laxus," Levy acknowledged. "His human name is Kazama, right? I take it he's very strong, especially since he's managed to keep control of things ever since."

"Yeah, there's reasons for that. Okay, so Laxus and his buddies took over, but they weren't able to accomplish two of their goals: they didn't get Wendy, and they didn't get the Fairy's Tear. In fact, I shouldn't even know about the Tear, and neither should anybody but Makarov-sama, but after what happened it wasn't possible to keep it a complete secret. It can't be mentioned to just anybody, though, and if we ever regain control of Magnolia and the Fairy Tail Guild then we've all agreed to have our memories altered so that only the King and the Heir know the Tear exists."

"Okay."

"I don't know much about the Tear, except that it provides a lot of power to the person who controls the Guild, if he's attuned to it. It also provides extra strength to those directly connected to Fairy Tail Guild, and even protects them, somehow. Anyway, Erza managed to save Wendy, but it took everything she had to fight Laxus, and we lost Juvia in the process. She was probably my best friend—the only person I was close to from before Fairy Tail—and I don't know what happened to her. Erza says that Rain Girl took a direct hit that seemed to blow her apart, but she—Erza—thinks that it didn't destroy Juvia's actual consciousness. Elemental spirits are very, very tough. Even I'm not exactly sure what Rain Girl's capable of or what her background is. I think she's partly Yōsei, but I don't know."

Gajeel could tell that Levy still had to suppress a flicker of jealousy when he was speaking of Juvia, and that made him happy, even though he knew it shouldn't. He'd told the truth about Juvia, though: he wasn't in love with the beautiful water witch, and he'd never begrudged her the depth of her feelings for Gray, although her ardour had been annoying at times and the ice freak didn't deserve it.

"The main problems—and secrets—revolve around the Fairy's Tear. You see, a big reason so many people were killed or captured was that Makarov-sama asked Lucy to help him defend the Tear, once it became obvious that we were going to lose the battle for Fairy Tail Guild, and the result rattled Natsu. Lucy is a gifted Yōsei pureblood who is able to call upon the Star Spirits."

"And Lucy-san is Heisuke-kun?" asked Levy, curious to know whether her guess was right. "I recently began to think that Heisuke-kun was probably a woman. And there is some strong connection between Natsu-san and Hei—I mean, Lucy-san."

Gajeel smiled, despite the serious topic. He loved it that Levy was so smart.

"Right on both counts. Lucy is masquerading as Tōdō Heisuke, Captain of the Eighth Division. The only problem is that Lucy's personality isn't the same as it used to be, and isn't entirely stable, either. Since Natsu had a very deep bond with Lucy—although she was still pretty new to Fairy Tail when the war happened—the fact that she's… not herself… has hit him pretty hard. He's changed too—though he was pretty irritating even before everything went down. But you're making me get ahead of myself. Be patient!"

"Yes, sir!" Levy bowed deeply. Then she peeped up at Gajeel from under her lashes.

"Oy—stop that! Just… listen, okay? Gods, woman…" Gajeel rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. "So… Natsu was supposed to be fighting Laxus with me an' Erza an'—well, some of the others who didn't make it or aren't here. But when he found out that the King had asked Lucy to help him seal off the Tear, and that they were under attack by pretty much the rest of Laxus' gang, he left the fight with Laxus to us and rushed off to protect Makarov-sama and Lucy. He's never told me, but I think what actually happened was that he felt Lucy's mind start to break. Like I said, they were close—so he felt pretty much compelled to go, probably. But taking off like that, without warning, got Erza an' me badly hurt, risked Wendy, and, well, we lost Rain Girl. I've always had more sympathy for Natsu than some of the others, even though I'm not really a fan; they don't know what a dragon's instincts will do to him. Course, neither did I exactly, until recently."

"S-so what actually happened to Lucy-san and Makarov-sama?" Levy could somehow feel the weight of Gajeel's gaze on her when he talked about Natsu-san and Lucy-san, but she had a feeling that they'd get distracted from the story if she pursued that line of thought.

"Ah-yeah, right." Gajeel ran a hand through his long mane of black hair, which had somehow come loose from its usual low pony-tail during their earlier discussion. "Well, I don't completely understand it, but I think the main part goes like this: Freed had prepared a number of complex enchantments before the final battle ever started, so the King and Lucy found themselves on the defensive right from the beginning. Makarov-sama hadn't thought that Laxus would give Freed so much knowledge about the Tear—I think I told you before that Laxus was Makarov-sama's heir?—so he didn't expect Freed to be able to aim for control of the Tear directly. Anyway, for whatever reason, Lucy ended up setting one of Greater Star Spirits—the Lion—directly into the ward protecting the Tear. That would have killed her, they think, since she had no direct access to the Tear's defenses, but Makarov-sama took on part of the backlash, saving her life."

"That… sounds really bad," murmured Levy, now focused entirely on the story.

Gajeel's expression was somber. "Yeah. Natsu got them out of there—gotta give the guy credit for that at least. But Makarov-sama and Lucy have both got issues. The big secret is about the King. He's virtually powerless right now. For some reason, he's locked himself away into his human persona as Kondō Isami, master of a small dojo and now Commander of the Shinsengumi. It's a real problem, because he's still got immense amounts of charisma—hell, he's an Elder Fae. But he seems to have no memory of anything other than being human For all we know, he's doing it to hide himself from his grandson, but it's been rough. That's why Jellal's here. That guy's freaky, if you ask me, but he's got the power and the ability to lead, and he doesn't seem to have any inclination to take over permanently. He holds things together with both the humans and the Exiles—I'm not kidding when I say you couldn't pay me enough to do his job."

"And he's engaged to Erza-san?"

"Yep. I still don't know all of their history, but it goes back a long way, I think. If I had to guess, he's doing all of this—Jellal, I mean—just for her. And maybe a bit for Makarov-sama."

"So… Laxus-sama—"

"He doesn't deserve any respect, Levy. And he's no prince now either, despite his relationship to the King. If and when we get Fairy Tail back, he's headed for execution or exile."

Levy blinked at Gajeel's harsh tone, but nodded. "Gomen. Laxus holds Fairy Tail Guild—the place and some of its people—as well as the town of Magnolia. He is hunting for the Exiles. He wants to kidnap Wendy and he needs Lucy—because of the Tear?"

"Yeah. Apparently, whatever Lucy did—or the Lion is doing for her—is keeping Sparky away from the Guild's main source of power, which in turn protects the Exiles. Problem is, aside from the King's memory problems—or whatever—Lucy's really only partly here. From what I've been told, part of her is continuously trying to help the Lion guard the Tear. She used to be the cheerful, optimistic type—kind of what you'd expect from the only daughter of a pureblood family."

"Lots of money and not too much to do but look pretty and find a husband?" asked Levy, frowning. Heisuke-kun seemed much too vibrant, and too ready to pick fights, for an ojou-sama.

"I guess—that would be the human equivalent, anyway. Actually, that's exactly what I thought of her at first. I was wrong though. She had—has—a lot of guts. She left everything behind to travel to Magnolia to train her skills. Her dad even tried to take her back, but Makarov-sama told him no and sent him packing. After some, uh, difficulties."

Levy could tell there was more to it, but that would have to wait.

"Lucy-san—as Heisuke-kun, I mean—seems pretty energetic."

"Yeah, although even that comes and goes these days. And she doesn't always remember people and events the way she should. What can I tell you? I never got to know her very well, but even I can sense there's something off with her. I think she hovers on the brink of some kind of collapse, even though she's physically strong and a damn good fighter."

Levy sat with her head bowed for some time, trying to assimilate everything. Gajeel didn't interrupt her thoughts.

"What does it mean, Gajeel—that I know all this now? Does this mean my life is in even more danger?"

Gajeel looked uncomfortable. "Kind of. I mean we're all bound to secrecy on pain of death and all that. But it also makes you completely one of us—we've got your back and you know exactly what you're protecting. The Exiles don't make this gesture lightly, not after three years of looking over their shoulders. On the other hand, it means that you're expected to stand against Laxus with us when it comes to another war. You've already got the mark, but now you've got the full responsibility, too—to protect the King, to look out for everyone, to put your comrades ahead of yourself, and to try to reclaim Fairy Tail Guild and the Tear."

Levy exhaled deeply, but Gajeel didn't sense any fear from her. That was new—under all the courage and determination she'd always been battling a persistent thread of fear. He'd known it from the start and it had contributed to his original hesitation about what to do with her.

"Knowing things is just better, you see," Levy told him, as though she were answering his thoughts. "I haven't been afraid of you for a long time—not really—and now that I'm really part of the Fairy Tail Exiles, for better or for worse, I don't feel afraid of the others. It's like something's clicked and I know I belong."

Gajeel hummed softly, and wound his long arms around her, pulling her close to him again. "More importantly, you belong here with me."

"And who says I want that?"

"I do."

"You could be right."

"Yeah."

Gajeel bent his head, and his breath tickled Levy's ear. She suddenly realized that she was warm again, from the inside out. She blushed, knowing that Gajeel could sense the shift in her mood.

"Heh. Let's ditch the heavy stuff for tonight, okay? Maybe I can even convince you to stop thinking about everything for a while."

"Um…"

"Trust me. I promise not to push things, Levy." Gajeel's voice was as serious as Levy had heard it. "I just want to be close to you."

"…Okay."

"Did we do the right thing?" Erza asked Jellal. They were spending an unusually peaceful hour together, fingers entwined as they watched the sunlight fade from the sky through Jellal's window.

"Hmm." Jellal kissed the crown of Erza's head. "Right or wrong, we did what had to be done, as always. Besides, Lahar and Lily are the most cautious people I know, and they were pretty set on it."

"I suppose that we could all use a glimpse of happiness, Jellal. If we risk nothing, we lose everything."

"You are the greatest optimist I know, my warrior. The world is already on fire—for the humans and for us. But you still believe in happy endings."

Erza turned and look up at her companion. "You have granted me that luxury. You are cynical and harsh so that I don't have to be. Without you, this task would have fallen to me."

"Hush. I'm good at being cynical and it doesn't pain me to be harsh when it's necessary. You want your comrades, your beloved friends, to be happy—I want you to be happy. It works."

The bright blue head stooped over the bright scarlet, and there was no need for further words.

"I like Levy-chan, Natsu. She's smart and kind and fun to be around."

"Yeah, she's okay. Pretty tiny though. Looks even tinier beside Rusty."

"Rusty?" Lucy frowned, momentarily perplexed, and Natsu had to push down the usual combination of anguish and frustration.

"You know - Gajeel. Metal-for-brains."

"Just because he snacks on iron doesn't mean you should call him Rusty, Natsu. Besides, I think they're cute."

The pink-haired dragon blinked at her then grinned. It was great when she sounded more like her old self.

"Yeah, good ol' Black Steel Gajeel... 'cute'. He'd love that."

"Well, you never know. I've always thought he was a bit of a romantic at heart." A cloud of confusion passed across Lucy's face and dimmed her brown eyes. "At least—I think so?"

"I dunno, Luce. I mean, he really hurt you before, and I sure haven't noticed any sappy streak in him."

Lucy rolled her eyes and punched Natsu on the shoulder. "You don't even know the meaning of sappy."

"Do too! It's like—" Natsu stopped abruptly, since he'd been about to mention the way Juvia fawned over Gray, and Lucy always got sad when she remembered that the water witch was missing.

"See? Anyway, want to go out for drinks tonight?"

A dark grey cat rose lazily from a cushioned basket by the door and stalked over, wrinkling its nose. Under the illusion, improbably blue fur surrounded a white belly, which was clearly visible since the cat was walking upright. His grey hakama were wrinkled from his nap.

"Drinks really means brawling with ronin, for you two," the cat complained, stifling a yawn. "If we're going out, c'n you at leaaassssst"—another yawn—"stop for food first? Better yet, how about we go fishing?"

"Hey Happy! Whaddya think about Levy-chan joining the Guild—for real, I mean?"

Lucy shook her head, used to the way that the two of them inevitably ignored each other's questions, or went off on weird tangents. They'd always been that way. At least… she was pretty sure they had been. Her memories of the time before the Split were always slightly hazy lately and hard to hold onto, but her feelings were generally pretty accurate. It had already occurred to her that part of the reason that she liked Levy—other than basic compatibility—was that she could talk to the other woman without the weird sense that she was constantly missing something. Oh well. She grabbed her purse.

"Come on Natsu. The Vice Commander's too busy right now to notice us slipping out for a couple of hours. We'll buy Happy some fish, have a few drinks, and see if there's anyone brave enough to take us on."

"Sounds good, Luce. Let's try not to break any legs this time though. It was a pain dragging those guys in last week."

"Yeah, yeah."

The three headed out into Kyoto in relatively good spirits. The watcher in the shadows just shook his head. You knew life was getting weird when Natsu was the one giving the good advice. Pantherlily strolled away unnoticed, eventually regaining his own room.

"Everyone okay?" asked his roommate, looking up from his desk.

"As good as they're going to get right now, Lahar. I think I'll stay in tonight and get some sleep."

"Fine with me, Lily. Think I'll do the same. It's been busy lately."

The two Fae nodded companionably to each other. There was probably a war brewing, for both the humans and the People, but they could let that go for an evening and just enjoy a bit of peace. They were both satisfied with Levy-chan's progress—and Gajeel's. Lily smirked a little as he got ready to turn in for the evening. He had to agree with Lucy: the big dragon and the small fairy were… very cute.

A/Note:

Thank you for reading and reviewing or commenting! I always enjoy hearing from people. \(^u^)/

Tagging: @shell-senji @kazama-hime @eliz1369 @sabinasanfanfic @hakusaitosan @moon-faced-pear-shaped @nalufever @celestialgeekmage @sanguine-fairy @sassyhazelowl @pocketwoman7

@fuckyeahgajevy (with apologies because this is SO late for gajevyweek 2017) @ftfanfics (I’m finding tags not working well when I put FFN and AO3 links in)

#fairy tail #gajevy #gajevyweek #ficsforvera #impracticaldemon #fanfiction #gajeel of the shinsengumi #gajevy of the shinsengumi

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raesportfolio · 6 years

Text

Signed, A: A Short Story

This is a short story inspired by season 4 of Pretty Little Liars. I wrote it from the perspective of one of the lesser explored characters. It’s one of my favorites, and I hope you enjoy it.

It was never meant to go this far, truly. They were only supposed to lead me to Alison, that’s all I intended to happen. You see, they pushed me this far. I left hints at every turn; I told them exactly what I wanted from them. Sure, they had no idea it was me. Had they known, they would never have helped me. They would have told me I was insane just as you do. Alison is alive, I know she is – I’ve seen her.

What are my ties to Alison? I am utterly and irrevocably in love with her. I have never felt such a burning need and passion for anyone or anything else like I do for her. She was beautiful – her hair hung long and sinuous, the perfect shade of honey blonde, and her eyes, oh, her eyes, never have I seen a pair so bright, so blue, so full of life, her skin glowed with or without the help of the Sun’s rays. She was small, but she was also only just on the brink of fifteen as I learned soon after my arrival here in Rosewood. Age is of no matter here – Aria? Aria was special, yes, but she is not Alison. I admit that maybe I should not have used and manipulated her in such a fashion, but what was I to do? She was the first one I met and the easiest to trick into telling and or exposing the very secrets she wanted hidden from me, although she hadn’t the slightest clue it was me she should be wary of.

That little bout of simplicity I owe to the distraction that was Mona Vanderwaal and her ability to know everything and be everywhere at once while playing the role of the innocently dumb and conceited best friend of Hanna, yet another member of Alison’s posse. Mona’s disdain for my love came quite in handy, I came to notice. She is the one who gave me the idea to go under the alias that is ‘A’. Her unquenchable thirst for Hanna’s friendship and revenge against my former lover, although she thought it posthumously, gifted me the opportunity to gain the trust of my love’s four best friends: Aria, Hanna, Emily and Spencer.

Ah, Spencer Hastings, incredibly, if not too, intelligent and clever for her own good. I must admit, her unorthodox ways were impressive. She was always the first one to think things through—even when Mona or I targeted her. I’m forced to believe we gave her much too much strength. We broke her so irreversibly that she had nothing left to fight for except her girls, we made her question everyone around her, we showed her truths she was not yet ready to face and we made her lose trust in people we most likely shouldn’t have. All the while, we believed we were tearing her down and removing her from the picture, when in actuality she became wary and distrustful of all, including us, she began to pay attention to even the minutest of details. We turned her mad with the need to expose and stop us once and for all without even realizing it. She got too strong, too clever and she overpowered us both. However, I was not surprised when she put an end to Mona. Vanderwaal is nothing but a young girl after all; her rampant emotions and arrogance were bound to reveal her identity.

Perhaps, that is what revealed me as well. Had I become too transparent? Did I get sloppy? Where did it go wrong, agent? Alison? I thought we were done speaking of her… If I must explain to you our rendezvous that summer at Cape May you simply have not been paying attention, or not paying it close enough. I know you were not acquainted with the deceased Officer Wilden, but I’m sure the girls have informed you that he was at Cape May as well that summer and that he saw me with Alison and did not stop the progression of our relationship. Wilden had no idea that everything would spiral out of control like it did when he walked those streets and then this town. Neither did the girl of his attentions, Cece Drake. They were of great help anyway.

I have no idea where Cece is, it does not matter anyway. What matters is that you are wasting your breath here interrogating me, Agent Holbrook, when you and your squads should be out there searching high and low for Alison! I will not calm down! I gave this department over a year to find her – almost two, for god’s sake! – and you have done nothing but disappoint me. Now, you accuse me of her murder when I have been the only one actively searching for her! Yes, I used the girls to do a lot of the searching and riddle solving. No, it was not some wild goose chase developed on feverish theories, would you – would you just stop looking at me like that? I am not insane. Alison is alive. I saw her, several times.

I did not speak with her or bring her home because I could not catch her! One second she’d be there and in the blink of an eye she was gone! It was not some apparition, she was there. She wore a bright red trench coat each time. I paid Cece to wear one similar to encourage her friends’ search and goad her out of hiding. If I could have kept Cece in Ravenswood for just a bit longer, we would have – excuse me? Yes, yes, it’s true that I had an apartment in the town as well—I figured Spencer had told you as much seeing as she risked going there to sniff out information about who ‘A’ might be.

Am I the one who sent the intimidating texts and threats? I thought I made that clear, yes. It was me that robbed them of that diary, while at my cabin, I might add. Well yes, at the time they had no clue I was ‘A’ and because of that I had to rob my own hideout of sorts but I don’t see why this is relevant. Honestly, how is any of this relevant? So I used some uncouth and disturbing ways to get as far in my search as I have, but the fact of the matter is that I’ve progressed! We were so close to finding her, Holbrook, so close! Who cares that I used Aria, that I tricked all the girls into thinking it was safe to trust me? How dare you, I was of no danger to my students. Only those four were ever at risk, and they wouldn’t have been so often if they had just done as directed! My English students were never at any risk and neither were any other students at Rosewood High.

Did I kill Spencer’s brother-in-law? You mean the field hockey coach? Why does that matter? Did I kill Officers Garrett and Wilden and frame the girls? Whether I did or not, jail time is a small price to pay as long as you find Alison! She is out there and she is hiding and I must see her, I must. Stop saying that, she is not dead!

Why did I torment the girls so? Stop changing the course of discussion! Why should I respond to that question when the answer is so painfully obvious? It was the only way to get them to act accordingly. Now, back to finding Alison, I be – oh what is it now? Did I kill her? How many times do I have to tell you that Alison is not dead? Did I have anything to do with her disappearance? Possibly.

I came to Rosewood to see her, to talk to her. I think she had had a busy night, but she wouldn’t tell me anything, just that I should leave. She kept telling me that she never wanted to see me again, but I knew that could not be true. We loved each other you see, no matter how wretched people may think our relationship to have been. She loved me, fully and truly, but she kept muttering how I was scaring her. I found it utterly annoying and frustrating, and ultimately, I had had enough. I just wanted to put her to sleep really. I wanted her to relax and I was going to put her in my car and go back to my hotel in Philadelphia so we could talk in private. I was in such a passion and whirlwind of emotions that the strength behind my blow was too strong. She fell too limply and much too heavily. Originally, I was at peace, understandably, as my intent had been reached. It was as I called her name, more frantically with each repetition, that my intent had been reached to an extent that I had not desired. I remained calm though, there was no point in making such a fuss; I knew I had to hide her and I’d come back later in the next morning to retrieve her and try the conversation again.

I took one look at freshly dug mound in Alison’s backyard, the place where the gazebo had been erected, and new it’d be the perfect place. I buried her there, she wasn’t too deep in the ground, but the hole wasn’t shallow either. I knew she’d survive and that she’d be fully rested come the next morning. But when next morning came, she wasn’t there. It was five a.m. and the town had remained as deathly still and quiet as it had the night before, there was no one to question me or interrupt the process of unsheathing my love from the depths of the earth, but she was not there. I didn’t panic, of course, the logical reason was that her brother probably dug her up in one of his alcohol and weed induced hazes, and believing so I simply placed the dirt back where it belonged as to not attract suspicion and left. I knew I would come back later and speak with her; however, I hadn’t been driving toward my hotel for longer than five minutes when the radio announced someone missing, someone with the same name and description as my beloved.

It made no sense then and it makes none now. She was not buried there. I don’t care if her body was supposedly found there! I know for certain that Alison did not lie under that gazebo. She’s out there… You aren’t listening to me anymore. What is it? What are you looking at? Why do I need to look at the one way mirror? Oh… I guess I’m not the only ‘A’ in town.

You aren’t as dumb and useless as I thought. It’s still time to stop looking. Your precious Ali is still dead in a sense even you could accept.

- Signed, A

#rae writes

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