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putthison · 6 years

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Talking to Jason Jules about John Simons, Patron Saint of English Ivy

In an age where everyone buys almost everything off the internet, sometimes from far-flung warehouses located in other countries, it’s easy to forget the important role certain brick-and-mortars played in shaping regional taste. These retailers, who were often small and independent haberdasheries, were the original tastemakers. Fred Seagal, for example, was once thought of as the gateway into the Los Angeles fashion market; Louis Boston introduced many to the comfort of Italian tailoring. In fact, Luciano Barbera got his start in marketing tailored clothing because of a suggestion from Murray Pearlstein, Louis Boston’s late proprietor. The two worked together to develop a line of ready-to-wear Italian suits and sport coats, which was initially aimed at the New England market.

John Simons is considered by some to be the patron saint of English Ivy for the same reasons. For the last sixty years, he’s been a steadfast evangelist for the same kind of clothes -- J. Keydge natural-shouldered jackets, Florsheim Imperial brogues, Bass penny loafers, button-down shirts, and other things Ivy. He introduced the look to English shores in the 1950s and has stuck with it ever since, proving there’s such a thing as classic style.

More importantly, he’s played an important role in shaping British taste. For almost three generations, mods, suedeheads, and skinheads (a term for a section of working class youths before the name became associated with racists) have gone to John Simons to look street-smart and well-heeled. John Simons was also the one who gave Harrington jackets their name. Originally referred to as golf jackets, Simons remembers the time when he climbed into his shop window to write on the buff-colored card attached to a store display jacket: "The Rodney Harrington Style.” It was reference to how Rodney Harrington in Peyton Place wore the same model. Now the name is everywhere.

This Monday, Mono Media is releasing a film about John Simons by Jason Jules. Some readers may recognize Jason as the face of Drake’s, but he’s also a vet in the London arts scene, having worked as a club promoter, PR rep, and fashion industry consultant. His film, titled A Modernist, is about a shop he loves, the clothing inside, and the store’s connection to culture. We sat down with Jason to talk about his film, Ivy Style, and other topics.

How did this project start?

I’ve known John’s shop since I was a kid. When it comes to Ivy Style, jazz, and modernism, John was Wikipedia before Wikipedia. Discovering his shop was a real eye opener for me. I was already into beat poetry and jazz at the time, but his shop pulled everything together. It has authenticity; it’s a place I can trust. I know if I go there with my eyes closed, pick up something from a rail in my size, it’ll always be the right thing. There’s not a single questionable item in the store.

Later, when I started making short films, it occurred to me that I should do something on John Simons. I put it off for a while, and then I heard a rumor John passed away. Thankfully, that turned out to be untrue, but the rumor kicked me into gear. What was originally supposed to be a five-minute nod to important influences in my life eventually grew into this hour-long feature on the shop and its clothes, as well the cultural attendants that came with them.

You mentioned trust. When I was a kid, I remember certain stores having an incredible amount of influence. If something was carried there, it was considered good. Do you think that’s still possible with the internet? Stores are so untethered by geography nowadays, people are constantly comparison shopping online. Loyalty seems like it’s at an all-time low.

I do, partly because I think certain stores offer a curational experience. I can walk past an art gallery, for example, and look at the work through the window. But that’s not the same as going inside and walking through the gallery, talking with the curator, and learning more about the pieces. Stores that give you a similar experience are the ones that will flourish. Think of shops such as Supreme or John Simons. Even if you go in there and get nothing but a conversation, you’ll walk out with something. You’re being exposed to a set of inherent values and taste markers that are almost too nuanced to grasp if you purely shop online.

John Simons has also historically sat in the middle of some important cultural movements -- his influence on mods, skinheads, suedeheads, etc.

John has a deep understanding of clothing, and he loves sharing it with people, regardless of their background. That’s one reason why there was, and still is, such diversity among his customers. He sold to kids who were into reggae and ska, just as he sold to advertising executives. He treated everyone equally.

That wasn’t always true elsewhere. There were some stores in Mayfair or tailors on Savile Row where, if you didn’t fit a certain archetype, you may have been met with a level of resistance or snobbery. John never did that; he welcomed everyone. He was never a mod or skinhead himself, but his clothes appealed to all those people. And he had a knack for putting his store in forward facing areas. At one point, he had a shop in the Soho area of London, just as the place was becoming an advertising hub. There were film companies and advertising agencies up one way, then music venues down the other. Right in the middle was John Simons’ Squire shop, so you got business people and music fans coming into the same store, buying the same clothes.

What do you think drew mods and skinheads to these clothes?

I think the clothes meant different things to different people. I imagine skinheads and suedeheads were reacting against the hippie movement at the time. There was a sort of neatness about the look that appealed to their working class roots, but the clothes also embodied a certain aspirational element. It was looking a bit more accomplished than what your wage packet might suggest. The early mods, on the other hand, often had good jobs and they liked dressing a certain way. But the appeal was still essentially aspirational – looking a bit outward at the time, as opposed to the more insular mindset of the previous generation of kids just coming out of the war.

That kind of sounds like the story of the ‘Lo Heads.

There are some parallels. I think the thing that makes it different is that John’s shop somewhat tempered what people wore. For example, as a kid, if I went into Ralph Lauren or Harrod’s, I knew I would be followed. It was a given, regardless of what I wore. Whereas if I went to John’s shop, I knew I would be welcomed. So for me, and I’m sure a lot of people, going to alternative sources to buy something wasn’t an attractive option. John shop was always the primary source in that way. That meant you interacted with the shop as more than just a retail outlet.

I remember in the ‘80s, I went into John’s shop to buy two Baracuta jackets. I wanted them a size too big, because that was my “look” then, and John told me the fit wasn’t right. I didn’t listen to him at the time because I was young and still finding my way with clothes, but his advice still stuck with me. The service made for a different kind of experience.

Many luxury companies back then worried about working-class people -- often ethnic minorities – wearing their clothes because they feared the association devalued their name. What made John different?

It was just the kind of people who worked in the shop. It was always about the clothes and culture. If someone showed an interest in the clothes and culture, they were eager to share their knowledge. And in many ways, they were also “outsiders.” John is a working class Jewish kid from East London. He has an outsider perspective. Some brands are protectionist, but John is an ambassador. Burberry used to vilify people who wore their check head-to-toe, but now they style their clothes the same way on the runway.

Or look at what’s happened with Dapper Dan!

Dapper Dan was public enemy number one for Gucci at one point, and now he’s hailed as the patron saint. There’s a new generation of marketing people, creative directors, and designers inside brands such as Ralph Lauren, Burberry, and Gucci that recognize the value of those outsider perspectives. John, on the other hand, has always been aware of this, so his door was always open to everyone.

In his book Ametora, David Marx wrote about how Ivy Style became its own thing in Japan. People wore things because their cultural heroes in Japan were wearing them, not because they were trying to imitate students at Harvard or Yale. Do you feel that happened with Ivy Style in the UK?

I think that a lot of people were into it in a purely contextual and insular way. After the first wave of modernists, the style was increasingly adopted by kids who wanted to emulate a mod look, and not because they were trying to be Italians. They wore those clothes because their mates were doing it. It becomes very peer-centric, very self-referencing in that way.

For example, I was asked a few years ago how long I’ve been into Ivy. I hadn’t even realized I was into Ivy! I was into button-down shirts and loafers and flat-front trousers. I was into patch pockets and cord jackets. I was into The Graduate and Steve McQueen. I was into Blue Note Records and modern jazz. I liked a certain look that could be defined as Ivy, but for me, it had a different meaning as a kid growing up in London.

Is there still that connection between clothing and culture? The Guardian had an article about how, fifty years ago, you could tell if someone was a mod, punk, hippie, goth, or soulboy from the way they dressed, but that’s harder now since so many people follow the same trends. Are there still youth subcultures that can be identified by the way they dress?

I think there are, but things move so quickly now, it’s hard to recognize something as peripheral. Like, Palace Skateboards used to be super niche five or six years ago. It was just a group of kids making t-shirts and crazy skateboard videos. Now they’re all over the place, and it’s easy to forget they came out of an incredibly small subculture.

Or look at Tyler the Creator and his line, Golf Wang. That originally came out of a subculture and the mainstream didn’t mess with it because they considered the line too obscure, too wild, too odd. Now they’re embraced like latter-day rockstars. It’s just that this transition happens so quickly now, it feels like things can become mainstream almost overnight. But the people behind these things were part of a subculture at one point.

Another brand like this is Trapstar. They started as kids who liked A Bathing Ape, but wanted something more local. They were West London kids who threw parties in other people’s shops and made incredibly high-spec’d t-shirts. They’re very authentic to London streetwear culture, but now their product is being sold internationally and sported by mainstream stars such as Rihanna.

Do you think the internet has homogenized or diversified culture?

I think it’s done both. It’s allowed people to find their own voice and realize there’s a community somewhere that will respond to them without any filter. But there’s also a lot of people who want to be part of a homogenous, mainstream culture. The internet allows for both of those things. I also think we all have both these elements in us. I like pop music, but also weird jazz. I watch Netflix, but also obscure films. The internet allows us to explore both these sides of ourselves, so they can happily co-exist.

Heritage clothing was really big five or six years ago, and now it feels like things have moved on. Is it harder to market this type of film now?

There was a point in the heritage movement where people thought there was a genuine shift in consciousness, that people would always buy less, buy better. Heritage turned out to be a trend, but it was an important trend. I’m not sure what happened, but like you say there was a palpable move away from what was essentially a style of clothing built around nostalgia. What remains of the trend, however, is a heightened appreciation of quality and craft, as well as a new kind of language, which we can apply to everything.

If you look at people who are into sportswear right now, they still talk about how things are made – the weight of the fabric on a t-shirt, how the print is applied. It’s no longer weird to talk about how denim was woven. Even sales assistants in high-street stores want to tell you how a pair of jeans was made.

So, in some ways, it’s become easier to talk about a clothing style that’s been around for more than fifty years. Mainstream journalists don’t look at you funny anymore if you describe your clothes as “Ivy.” At the same time, the social network for this stuff is a little more diffuse, but the people who really appreciate classic clothing will always appreciate it.

Do you think Ivy is ever going to come back in the way it did ten years ago?

I don’t know, but it’s like when the heritage thing was in full swing. Someone asked if I was pissed because all these people were dressing like me. “You’re looking like a trendy!,” they said. I said it’s fine because their interest in Ivy and Americana is a passing thing, for the majority of them, while I’m stuck in this. There will always be enough of us to have a community. This film isn’t for everyone, just as John’s shop isn’t. They’re for people who get it. For me, Ivy never went.

When I look at John Simons’ shop, it strikes me how the same clothes can look different in the UK than they do in the US. You mentioned the diversity among John’s customers, his acceptance and even embracement of others. At the same time, here in the US, Ivy style has lost some of its charm.

Part of that is because some members of the alt-right have picked up Ivy. The other part is how it’s become harder to ignore the uglier associations with the style. My co-writer Pete put it well a few years ago when he said “prep implies privilege and inherited money; some of prep’s charm comes from the unquestioning self confidence bestowed only by independent wealth.” The 1950s boarding schools and universities that originally made Ivy appealing are also the same places that discriminated against minorities around the same period.

Yet, in the UK, these clothes don’t feel like they have that baggage -- at least in the way they’re presented at John Simons. They have a different feel, much more modern and even democratic.

I know what you mean. For me, wearing these clothes, I always felt like I was in the process of subverting something. Even if it was just what it means to be a black kid growing up in London, being the only kid in the classroom wearing a button-down shirt. It was about subverting something that’s not supposed to be for you. But in some places, the look has been recast as the uniform of a social and economic elite. It’s harder to ignore how some people are not just taking advantage of their privilege, but even flaunting it.

Sometimes I think the heritage movement is partly connected to where we are now. I remember looking at a really important blog during that period, and they had a list of American-made products, authentic American brands. There were fifty to a hundred brands on that list, everyone from Pendleton to Woolrich, but none of them were Native American. I remember thinking it was so strange. We’re buying into something inclusive and liberating, but there’s also something nebulous around the edges. When Trump won, my girlfriend said, “you know Jason, part of what you’re into is responsible for this.”

[Laughing] A reader once emailed me saying that! He said my writing on clothing was partly responsible for the rise of the alt-right.

I think in recent years, I’ve become more aware of how my interest in Ivy differs from others. I’m purely into a look, whereas some people are into what a look symbolizes -- a sort of sanitized version of 1950s America. When I connect the clothes to culture, I connect them to personal heroes, who were often jazz musicians. Or things happening today, so it’s very contemporary for me. I don’t use these clothes to be wistful about the past.

One of the things that appealed to me is how people such as Muhammad Ali, Sidney Poitier, and Miles Davis wore the style. They looked great in Ivy. Fundamentally the style has always had a racial and socio-economic element, but today -- just as how Ali, Poitier, and Davis wore it -- what’s most important is how you interpret the clothes and how you wear them.

Thanks for your time, Jason!

Readers can purchase DVD copies of A Modernist through Mono Media (the film’s official release is Monday, April 23rd, but pre-orders are available now). Jason is also working on a new book about sneakers, which is slated for release sometime next year. He tells us it’s about where sneaker culture is going, as well as how it impacts the rest of culture -- social media, identity, luxury, consumerism, etc. You can keep up with John Simons and Jason Jules through Instagram.

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#Jason Jules #A Modernist #John Simons #Ivy Style #Films

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terriblevocaloidshit · 7 years

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Mod Mew Reads! “Don’t Trust Anyone, Not Even Yourself” (PART ONE)

Hihi, guys, and welcome back to Mod Mew Reads! And it only took eight months! Today, we’re gonna be reading something special. It’s gonna be big, it’s gonna be huge, and it’s gonna be personal. Why? Because today, we’re looking at the first three chapters of a fanfiction.

A fanfiction that I wrote.

That’s right! Today we’re looking at Chapters 1 and 2 of Forbidden Magnetism, my GakuKai fanfiction I wrote three years ago! Is it as bad as I’m making it out to be? Well, let’s not stall any longer. Let’s dive in HEAD FIRST!

Kaito and Gakupo both have new girlfriends, they both love them so much. However, when they meet each other in a practice studio, an attraction that shouldn't be forms between the two. How long can this magnetism last before they are caught? Rated M for later chapters containing smut. Yaoi, boy on boy, KaitoxGakupo. UPDATED FROM MY TUMBLR WITH CORRECT SPELLING.

For a little context, I based this entire fanfic off of this video. The video is five years old and the creator has not updated in three years, but just watching it brings back memories. Hot tip for high school me; don’t make a name for yourself critiquing fanfic and then write a shitty one yourself. Anyways, enough stalling.

Fate is a bitch.

I still think this is my best opening line of anything ever.

This is the conclusion Gakupo came to after the events that happened. First, he had finally asked Luka out, and, to his suprise, said yes.

Oi, past me, have you heard of this hot new tool called SpellCheck? “Surprise” still gives me trouble, but good lord.

However, he couldn't kiss her, not at the school. Luka had told him her best friend, Miku, also got a boyfriend not too long ago. He had decided to stay after in the school's expansive practice school, to write her a song.

Why was fate a bitch?

Because as soon as he stepped in, his eyes fell on a beautiful person.

He knew immediately who the person was. It was Kaito. He was part of the 'Big Five', the most popular kids at the high school. The most popular of them all was Kaito's new girlfriend, Hatsune Miku. If you were associated with them in any way, you were considered 'popular', or at the very least, 'known'.

The ‘Big Five’ in my mind were Miku, Luka, Rin, Len, and Gumi, if I’m remembering correctly.

Kaito was 16, but he looked around 20. He was tall, with dark blue hair. He always wore his scarf, no matter what.

OH YEAH I FORGOT I MADE THE CHARACTERS TEENS. Spoilers, but they have sex in later chapters, so I wrote underage smut when I myself was underage. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

I know age of consent laws are very iffy, and the AoC in my state is 16 years old, but to me the AoC always will be 18.

He was beautiful.

And staring right at Gakupo.

The events that followed were a blur in his mind. He remembered walking towards Kaito, and the next thing they knew, they were kissing furiously, unable to stop.

Fun fact, the inspiration for this scene was a seen in Brokeback Mountain.

What had lead up to this?

Well, first off a thirsty 15 year old girl who had an unfortunate habit of fetishizing gay men, but that’s a story for another day.

Gakupo remembered talking to him, remembered him being asked to practice a duet with Kaito that he was going to do with Miku. His memory fogs up, then clears up around the time he hit the wall while making out with Kaito. They didn't want to break the contact, not even to breath, as of they feared that if they did, they could never kiss each other again. Their tongues were fighting for dominance, but it was becoming painfully clear that Gakupo was the dominate one.

The tall one isn’t always the dominate one open up your eyes sheeple.

Finally, the need for air overpowered their want for each other.

There’s this funny little thing called your nose, try breathing through that.

They broke apart, gasping for air. Gakupo could feel that just the kissing had made them both half hard. He wanted to continue, so badly. However, the sudden realizations that both of them had girlfriends hit him like a bullet train.

YEAH NO SHIT ASSHOLE!!

He pushed himself off of Kaito, and, without another word, left the studio.

What school has a professional recording studio? All I had at my high school was a shitty photo room we used as a storage closet.

If the two boys had been smarter, that meeting would have been just a little fling, and nothing more.

YOU STILL CHEATED ON YOUR GIRLFRIENDS YOU FUCKSUCKS!

However, nobody could even begin to guess how far out of control this situation would get. And it all started thanks to a magnetism that shouldn't have been felt.

Kabosoi hi ga kokoro no hashi ni tomoru Itsu no ma ni ka moehirogaru netsujou

... What? Once a weeb always a weeb.

—

(AN: So, yeah. That 's the first chapter. More to come! By the way, if this seems like déjà vu, it's because I've posted this on my tumblr [URL HAS SINCE CHANGED]. I've fixed the spelling errors in this version. Enjoy!)

Sure you did.

And that’s it for chapter one! Sadly, I’m a masochist who loves inflicting pain on myself and we still have chapter two to read through tonight, so let’s fuckin do that shit.

(AN: Alright, still going! On tumblr, I mentioned that I didn't want to write smut. Well, I will soon, I promise you. Enjoy chapter two!)

Here’s a tip for anyone writing smut; let your inhibitions go. otherwise, it’ll be so obvious that you’re uncomfortable.

—-

It had been a couple of days since their 'meeting', and both boys had become a bit restless, unable to shake the memory of each other out of their minds. They couldn't really see each other during the day, and they felt as if they were slowly going insane. They hoped their girlfriends didn't notice.

They did.

Oh, they noticed that you two fucking CHEATED ON THEM huh?!

Luka decided to keep silent about the situation, and not inquire Gakupo. After all, if the problem was truly bothering him, he would've told her by now. She chalked it up to nerves.

Kids, if you’re having relationship troubles, just talk it out with the person, it’ll be so much better in the long run.

Miku, on the other hand, was the talkative type.

Speakin of which, if this goes up on time, happy 10th birthday, Miku!

She expressed her emotions through many words. Including her concern over Kaito.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Miku asked one day between classes. She needed to know. Otherwise, it would drive her nuts trying to figure it out for herself.

Kaito smiled sweetly at her. "It's nothing, Miku," he lied. He was a performer. He could fake any emotion at the drop of a hat. And no one could see he was faking.

No one, that is, except Miku.

I want to re-write this but like, not have the guys cheat on the girls??? Polyamory, it’s a thing.

"Don't lie to me, Kaito," Miku said sternly. "I won't be mad. I promise." Her puppy dog eyes seem to be staring right into Kaito's soul.

No, trust me, you’ll be pissed.

"I'm just nervous. You're my first real girlfriend. I don't want to mess this up."

I actually ship KaiMeiko more so LMAO @ past me.

Miku grinned. "Was that all? Well, that's a relief! I thought it was something seriously bad. I'll try not to make you nervous."

Kaito was relieved that she believed him. There were truth to his words; Miku was his first girlfriend, and he didn't want to screw up too badly. However, in his mind, making out with your girlfriend's best friend's boyfriend (try saying that three times) qualified as 'screwing up', and was in the subcategory of 'screwing up pretty damn badly'.

JESUS YOU FUCKIN THINK!!!

The warning bell rang, and Miku gave him a quick kiss goodbye, before rushing to her classroom.

Kaito always felt a spark when he kissed Miku. He always felt like it was right, like she was the one.

But no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he had felt that same spark during that meeting with Gakupo.

See, this is something that I liked; Kaito having feelings for both Miku and Gakupo was super interesting to me, and I want to expand on it one day, but maybe in a format that’s... well, less shit.

Also, looking back, this might’ve been me working through the fact that I’m bisexual...

Because of their concern, the girl decided a double date would set everyone at ease. They planned it out, and didn't tell the boys about it until the day of. The boys didn't have any choice but to say yes.

For the girl, the date went just as planned. The park they chose was close enough so everyone could walk there and back, yet secluded enough for them to enjoy the day in peace. They had a nice day, and things felt right.

For the boys, it was a totally different story. Every time they saw the other's girlfriend kiss them, they wanted to say "No, he's mine." But they knew they couldn't. It was as if the girls were trying to make them envious. Envious of a love that they wanted to share with each other.

After the date had ended, and both girl went home, the boys arrived at Gakupo's house. They decided to make a promise: whenever they could, they would meet up at one of their houses, and leave when dawn came around. No one would know except them. It was the perfect plan. As soon as they agreed, they began kissing.

Hey past me, if you actually took time to develop scenes instead of acting like you’re Sonic The Hedgehog and speeding through them, maybe your writing wouldn’t be as shit.

Of course, anyone with half of a brain could see this promise was idiotic and flawed in so many ways.

No, really? I can’t see how cheating on your s/o with their best friend’s s/o is a bad idea, not at all!

—

(AN: The next chapter is just going to kind of be a filler. I'd still read it, but hey, it's just gonna be a filler. Don't kill me. Thanks!)

A lot of these chapters were filler, don’t lie to yourself.

Overall reaction:

Me @ my past self CATCH THESE FISTS.

Oh god oh god that was so bad. Maybe if I snark all of it, we can all heal together. I could see where I was going, I really could, but GOD it’s so bad.

And to all the fucking obvious cheating going on?

Well, thank y’all for reading, and I’ll see you next game!

~ Mod Mew

*Who’s currently cringing oh god why the hell did I think that was okay at all*

#mod mew #mod mew reads #vocaloid #Vocaloid KAITO #gakupo kamui #GakuKai #hhhhhhh this si so bad why did i think this was okay!!!

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imaginesnkdorks · 7 years

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Reader and Erwin where she's a cadet in the 104 but she's a couple years older than Erwin and all of them. The had a relationship during the time they met and they get married she pregnant and he gives her and the child a bunch of diaries or journals that tell his life and but during the battle with the beast he dies so the child grows up without a father but wants to be exactly like him

The story ur writing a role to take with the reader x Erwin I made a typo she’s not older than Erwin but she’s older than the cadets she’s 20

“A Role to Take” PART 1

Pairing: Erwin X Reader

Genre: Angst

Warning: Violence; mentions of death; long read

Words: 2270

[Part 2 ] [Part III] [Part IV]

[A/N: So, this was a tough one to write. I didn’t want it to feel rushed so I decided to cut it into two to three parts. Will update the next parts probably this weekend :D - mod max]

[EDIT: Made Reader younger :D]

Anotherwedding, hmm? I sighed as I walked home. Everyone my age is getting married –people I used to play with when we were little. It’s not like we’re beyondmarrying age – we’re just in our twenties. In fact, I just turned twenty. Stillyoung, but not quite. The tragedy of two years ago made everyone realize how wecould just die anytime. Most decided it was now or never, and eloped with theirsweethearts.

Whatabout me? It isn’t like love never presented itself. It’s just that I have adifferent priority. That is looking after my ill mother. People ask me if I’mhappy like this, and I always answered yes. I do get lonely, sometimes. But Ilove how rewarding it is to feel useful, and to be able to help my mother.

Still, being my mother’s caretakercame to an end. And even though I’ve been expecting this to happen eventually,I was devastated. I have no one. And honestly, my life lost its direction. Idon’t know what to do.

I live in Ragako Village, in thesouthern part of Wall Rose. It’s a quaint little town and I love how peacefulit is, despite being close to the edge of the wall.

“Ah, (Y/N), done with your chores?”Mrs. Springer asked me the moment I passed by her house.

“Almost.” I answered, smiling to thesweet woman. “I heard a commotion at your house this morning, is everythingalright?” At that, she wore an expression only a pissed off mother could pulloff.

Letting go a puff of air, she began“Connie is planning to enlist. That boy is worrying me to death.”

“Oh? Surely, though he isn’tplanning to join the Survey Corps?” The Survey Corps is the most dangerousbranch of the military. Ever since the fall of Wall Maria two years ago, therewas a spike in people enlisting.

“Goodness, no. He wants to join theMilitary Police.” Hmm, the military police? That’s the branch that takes careof the inner district. That’s far from titans, so if Connie get in, he’ll beliving a comfortable life. Though, I understand why his mother is worried –people can die even during training.

We exchanged a few more words,before I promptly said goodbye. I entered my house … alone again.

I hate to admit this but I don’tknow what to do with myself. I need to take care of something – or someone. Mytalk with Mrs. Springer sparked a plan in my mind, and I’m shaking justthinking about it. Not of fear, but of excitement. I believe I haven’t feltthis my whole life.

The plan? Watch over ConnieSpringer, of course. And like him, I entered the military. I don’t haveanything to lose, anyway.

“Did my mother ask you to do this,(Y/N)?” Connie asked me, while we were on our way to camp.

“Hmm, no. I literally have nothingelse to do.” I told the him.

“Oh. You wanna join the MilitaryPolice, too?” He asked me, flashing a toothy grin.

“I haven’t decided yet. We’ll see.”I can’t tell him that I’ll join whichever he joins now, could I?

“Okay.”

We arrived at the training camp, andwas given our uniforms and cabin assignments. That’s when I parted ways withConnie. I’m quite thankful that there are a number of young adults and adultswith us – see, not only teenagers are trying to enter the military. Thanks tofood shortages, enlisting was a sure way to keep food coming. Meaning, therewould be a lot of breadwinners and even parents here. After changing into ourissued uniforms, we got in line to meet our instructor, thus beginning our lifeas the 104th trainees.

Two years passed in a blink of aneye. Turns out, I don’t really have to worry about Connie. The kid’s prettywitty, if I do say so myself. Other than that, all I can say is that I have aknack for this. I spent most my life doing mundane housework. I don’t eventhink I’ve run at all! But this – using the 3DM gear, fighting whether by handor blades – is something that came quite naturally. Was it due to pent upfrustration? I finally found a safe way to let it all out? Maybe.

Graduation is almost here, andeveryone is thinking seriously about which branch to join. I’m relieved thatConnie is still aspiring to join the Military Police, but I’m worried. There’sthis one kid who absolutely detests titans, Eren, and I think he’s slowlyinfluencing a bunch of other kids to join the Survey Corps.

“What about you, (Y/N)?” Mina askedme.

“Huh?” We are currently at the topof the wall, cleaning.

“Which branch are you joining?” Sheexplained.

“Oh. The Survey Corps, I guess.”

“Woah. Really?” It was Eren thistime. That’s the kid who hates titans. It’s understandable why, though. Hismother was eaten by one right in front of him. No wonder he’s so messed up.

“Why?” It was Connie who asked me.Why, indeed?

I shrugged. Months into training, Idecided that I’d join the SC whichever branch Connie joins. The other two arerelatively safer than the SC, so there won’t be any need to worry. Besides, Ifeel like that’s where I’d be most useful.

“What about the rest of you?” Iasked them. The conversation took off, and it turns out that Eren did influencea bunch of them. Even Connie. That made me raise a brow, and Connie sheepishlyshrugged it off. Ugh, this kid’s soft.

We got quiet as we focused more onour task. I can’t help but hum a tune. Cleaning is as easy as breathing for me,after all. I’m sure I’ll ha –

Booom!

“What the –?” Thunder? “Titan!” Atitan! A titan appeared right in front of us … It happened all so fast!

“Gahhh!” A gust of wind threw us alloff the wall.

“Samuel!” I think it was Sasha, shejumped and did something. I didn’t see because my eyes were on the gate – orwhere the gate was supposed to be.

“A breach! Titans are going to getin!” I yelled, in a panic. The hell of five years ago would happen again! Wecan’t let that happen!

I jumped off, closing the gapbetween me and the gate. “Titans are already walking in?” Unbelievable. We didn’teven have time to breathe, they’re already invading! I looked up to mycompanions to try to regroup. Samuel’s passed out, with Sasha holding on tohim. Mina and Thomas seems unharmed. Connie is frozen, eyes locked at the gapwhich was once the gate, and Eren was nowhere to be found.

Booming sounds can still be heardfrom the top – is Eren fighting the colossal titan? Hnghh. I don’t have time tothink about that. I turned back to the gap, and there are at least seven titansalready in here. I can’t kill them all. We need back up!

Adrenaline was rushing through mysystem – this is what we’ve been training for!

It took us two days to fight titans,seal the gap and clean up everything. It was a blur full of tears, blood anddeath. Many among my batchmates perished – sons, daughters, parents … dead.

This event opened my eyes in manyways. We aren’t safe – we were never safe. It seems that titans gave us thehundred years of peace. Now that it’s over, they’re slowly picking us off onewall at a time.

Luckily, we managed to seal thegate. In a twist of fate, a titan saved us. Ironic, I know. A Titan protectedus from other titans. That Eren boy transformed into a titan. I don’t know thefull details yet, though. That’s another irony, right there. Eren was probably theone who hates titans the most, yet here he is. Able to become a titan,apparently at will. That kid must be feeling horrible about that.

We are currently cremating whatlittle we were able to recover of the dead. It was tough identifying most. Itwas a tragedy – as bad as any could everbe. I think I should be worried. Well, worried about something personal, and itisn’t about my safety. I loved the battle. My flesh tingles at the sheerthought of slicing titans. I’ve never felt more alive!

I think I finally found my life’spurpose – to rid this world of titans.

You could say that I’m an oddball.Most people are in shock. Poor Connie – he’s inconsolable. Everyone is. We areall quietly watching the pyres when Jean spoke up.

“Hey, guys …” Needless to say, hehas all of our undivided attention.

He turned to us, and he obviouslyisn’t taking this well. Which, I’d say is normal given the situation.Especially since a close friend of his passed away. “Have you decided whichforce you’re joining?” He asked, yet he didn’t let any of us answer before heshared a shocking news. “I’ve made up my mind …” he couldn’t stop shaking as hecontinued, “I … I … I’m joining the Survey Corps!”

That’s shocking. Jean was veryadamant in joining the MP, yet here he is, declaring that he’ll join the SC.After that, we sunk back into silence – not really. Cries of sadness are heardall around.

It’s the day, the day that theSurvey Corps’ commander is going to talk to us graduates. He’s the first oneamong the commanders who’ll try to recruit us. I guess he’s the first one,since the other commanders think that if they go first, there will be no oneleft for the SC.

I was leaning against the wall, withothers who are rather attached to mein the loosest sense of the word. Also, Connie seems to be sticking closer tome ever since the battle at Trost. We were minding our own business when Jeanwalked up to us.

“Jean, you’re really joining theSurvey Corps?” I couldn’t help but ask. This sudden change of heart of hisbaffles me still.

“Yeah.” He curtly answered.

“Why the sudden decision?” Sashaasked. Hmm, turns out it wasn’t just me who was surprised. “Aren’t you scared?”

“Huh? Of course I don’t want to jointhe Survey Corps.” He answered, nonchalantly. It seems he’s cried all of histears last night.

Connie spoke up then, “then why?”

“It’s not that titans don’t scare meanymore either. And I won’t spout nonsense like, the best belongs in the Survey Corps. I’m not as eager to die asthat suicidal bastard.”

“You mean Eren? He’s already joinedthe Survey Corps.” I added. After what seemed to be a messy trial, the SC gottemporary custody of Eren.

We were then called to get in line.We all decided to follow the order, but not before Jean told us how this,joining the SC, was solely a decision of his.

Before today, I have never seen thecommander of the SC. I expected to see an old, bald man. Pretty much likeCommander Pixis of the Garrison. Turns out I was way off the mark.

“I am Erwin Smith, Commander of theSurvey Corps.” The tall, blonde man said in that smooth voice of his. He’s alot younger compared to Pixis, and our instructor Keith Shadis. And quite ahandsome fellow. He began his speech, inviting us to join the SC. But he wasn’tsugar coating it. He told us the harsh, cold truth about what’s it like. Thisman is different.

As he finished, he asked those whowants to join to stay in the field. Many people left – but that is to beexpected. When people who wanted to leave were all gone, commander addressed uswho stayed behind; “are you willing to die if you’re ordered to?”

“I don’t want to die!” A brave soulanswered.

“I see. I like the looks on your faces.”Commander Erwin said, eyes travelling around, looking each of us in the eyes. Andfor a moment there, his eyes lingered a little too long on mine. I never knew aperson’s eyes could be that strikingly blue.

“I hereby welcome all of you to theSurvey Corps! This is a true salute! Offer up your hearts!”

“Yes, sir!” We yelled as we made ourfirst ever salute as Survey Corps soldiers.

“I’m scared!” Sasha muttered. “Iwant to go home.”

“I don’t even care.” Conniewhispered.

These teens … they’re brave. Yes,they want to run, but they aren’t doing it. They chose to stay.

“You’ve done well to endure yourfear. You are brave soldiers. You have my heartfelt respect.” Commander Erwinseems to be thinking the same thing as I am. And as I turned back to look athim, I saw his eyes were back on me. Then he turned away.

Nineteen. Out of hundreds on ourfirst day, only nineteen of us stayed to join the Survey Corps.

This is it. The direction I’ve beenlooking for. I can’t help but feel excited.

#erwin smith #erwin smith x reader #snk #snk imagines #aot imagines #commander handsome #mod max #angst #series #a role to take part 1 #a role to take

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mary-sue-questions · 7 years

Text

Blaze Angel and Friends (Re-review)

So nobody’s really posting or sending us Mary Sues, and I was just scrolling through the old crap reviews I did years ago. Thought I should redo this review since the creator of this... character has made a bio for her and the sisters. So not only are we reviewing one character, oh ho ho no, we’re reviewing triplets! (Kms...)

Oh, and I’m now Mod Zilvani, here accompanied by my two good friends, Mod Triple A and Mod Lyn. Also, this creator made many bios, so this is going to be a longggggggg review. *Sigh* Oh the things I do for entertainment...

Zilvani is Bold.

Lyn is Italicized.

(Triple A is in parentheses.) BECAUSE APPARENTLY UNDERLINE DOESN’T WORK FOR SOME REASON

First Character... Blaze Angel.

+ Basic Information + Full Name: Blaze Angel Age: 19 Birthdate: June 14 Gender: Female Species: 85% Human 15% Angel

That’s not how it works. Genetics and ethnicity work in halves, so if you want to, at the very least, be 1/8 angel or whatever you want to do. Although, that would raise questions of your ancestry. What the heck were your ancestors doing with the angels?

Frankly this whole race/ethnicity is just a mess. What fandom are we even in, or is this an all-around type of OC? Not. Happening. Some fandoms don’t even have angels, so this definitely could not work.

+ Appearance + Height: ??

Pick a height, damnit.

Build: Skinny but strong enough to punch someone

That’s... What.

What even. “Skinny, but strong enough to punch someone”.

That’s really vague.

Not to mention highly CONTRADICTORY. If you’re skinny, most likely you wouldn’t be cut for a fighter. I doubt you could even defend yourself properly, without weapons at least. Actually, how skinny are we talking about? I agree with Mod Lyn, this is really vague.

(CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE.)

Hair Color: red Hair Type: fluffy and long Eye color: red (left eye has sun symbol)

What the-- How does your eye have a symbol? That’s like some sort of whacked up genetic mutation. Most likely you wouldn’t even be able to see through that eye if the mutation is that fucked up.

(CLICHEEEEEE.)

And... Whatever.

I wanna know who the parents are and what have they accomplished to get a fucking sun marked into the eye. I’m not sure about the other mods, but I’m okay with symbols in eyes SO LONG AS THEY AREN’T IN THE SMACK DAB MIDDLE OF THE PUPIL. Like... a symbol in the retina could probably slide... but pupil? Your vision is literally blocked by this weird sun shaped shadow, or blackness. Really?

Skintone: pale peach

Is this really necessary?

I’m not quite sure if there’s such thing as pale peach, so I’m not going to comment about it. Scars: none Piercings, tattoos: none Other: none

If there’s none, you don’t need to include it.

+ Personality & Relations + Personality: Hyper, Tsundere, All around, Pirate-like

... BE MORE SPECIFIC DAMNIT. Don’t give me that one word bullcrap, unless you’re in a rush or something. Even then, put down a “TBA” so that you’ll get back to it later! Freaking-- What does All around even mean? You need to be specific, otherwise this is half-assed.

What a well developed personality! A list of adjectives is not a personality. What the fuck is ‘all-around’ and ‘pirate-like’? That’s already 2 out of the four ‘personality traits’ down. Also, tsundere, is NOT a good descriptor for a personality, and it NEVER WILL BE. It’s a lazy excuse to make your character as random as possible.

Occupation: Middle sister, "Dimension Hopper"

Middle sister is not an occupation.

A Dimension Hopper is not an occupation, so please specify. PLEASE. SPECIFY.

I called it. I fucking called it. This character doesn’t stick to one fandom, oh no, she goes ALL THE FUCKING AROUND. I need to drink clorox to feel clean again.

Sexual Orientation: Straight Relationship Status: single (?)

Suspicious.

Supposedly she put down a question mark since she probably has Angel being shipped with different canon/other OCs in different fandoms...

I just remembered, if she’s a dimension hopper... and she’s dating with these guys in different universes... Doesn’t that make her a cheater? Very nice.

Also, how does she dimension hop? Please. Kill me.

Relationships with Other Characters: Blaze Kirigiri: Blaze likes her eldest sister, but she's always worry about Kirigiri's relationship with a certain crazy boy and her status as "Ultimate Duelist"

This is assuming that this is already breaking the 4th wall from the start.

It’s... It’s really vague. Does your relationship with your sister go only as deep as that?

I’d like to point out the fact that her sister literally stole the last name of the canon protagonist of the anime, Danganronpa. But don’t worry, we’ll get to her soon. Unfortunately.

Moon: Blaze adores her little Vocaloid sister, even if Moon is living at Vocaloid Studios, but she always worries about Moon when she's around the other Vocaloids.

Vocaloids are not people, they are voice banks. And at the very most, they are very interpretive characters. Every Vocaloid artist has a way of using said Vocaloids. Having a younger sister as a vocaloid is not possible, as vocaloids do not have parents, only “creators”. Unless she was somehow adopted????????

... Oh boy, this is going to be a long night.

+ Other + Blaze is more of the all around type when it comes to her personality

All Around???????????? I’m so confused??????????

I can only defend her a little for this one. The way I see it, everyone’s capable of being anything, like I can be loud or quiet, shy or courageous, but the personality is the combination of traits that you choose to be. In a way, I... kind of understand where she’s getting at? Still pretty terrible and vague though.

Much of her background is surrounded by mystery; no one knows where she comes from

Ooh~! Spooky! *making spooky wind noises*

Okay, this isn’t even trying.

Blaze doesn't know where she was born at all, but she simply didn't really care, as long she is happy with friends

I’m not sure about you, but if I were her, I’d be pretty damn confused and demanding to know where the hell I came from. Doesn’t matter if I’m happy with my friends, I wanna fucking know if I was born in Jamaica or not.

Not even a little curious? Not, not even just a LITTLE BIT?

Known as the "Dimension Hopper" for a reason but that is classified.

OOOHHH SO SPOOKY, OOOOOHHHHH *making the same spooky noises*

Again, not even trying.

She may sometimes speak and dress as a pirate at times.

So she’s cosplaying, great. What for, and why. I’m actually getting a headache the more I delve deep into this.

LOL NERD *throwing rocks* ALSO, PIRATES SPOKE THE SAME WAY AS ENGLISH SAILORS AT THE TIME, SINCE THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT THEY WERE.

Hey, at least she’s not... wait, she is. Never mind. Also, no hate to the pirate loving community, be glad we’re trying to exterminate this character for you guys.

She was the one who had Blaze Kirigiri and Vocaloid Moon as her sisters, because of their similar looks.

So... She’s the one who adopted them???????

Depending on which countries they were born, is Angel at the right age consent to be adopting kids?

Recently, Blaze is starting to become more and more human then her angel self....

THAT’S NOT HOW GENETICS WORKKKKKKKKK. If you’re going to make angels an entirely separate species from humans, then stick to your own damn canon!

Where’s the vodka.

I drank it all~

And you didn’t even leave some for me? Thanks, I needed that. THANKS.

Her ancestor is the Sun Warrior Solarias

Who the fuck is this dude.

Please, please, EXPLAIN.

This next bio is her new bio for Blaze Angel, but it’s mainly focused on one fandom so I considered this bio to be a secondary to the previous bio we just reviewed.

Name: Blaze Angel Nicknames: Blaze, Dr. Angel, Tori Yugaina, Beta

Blaze is not a nickname, that’s her name. Dr. Angel is not a nickname, it’s a name her colleagues and patients would address her as. And where did Tori Yugaina and Beta come from? I hope this is explained later.

I’m going to be honest, I’m not educated in the fandom of Trauma Team so, Lyn, you’re going to have to guide me through this.

Age: Varies in roleplays

At least give us a range. I mean, it might vary between roleplays, but a range would be nice.

These rps are in the same fandom anyways, so I don’t see why it would vary at all. If this was in the first bio, I would understand since she was bullshitting with the dimension hopping around fandoms.

Sex: F Skin color: pale peach Hair color: red Eye Color: red

That’s a genetic mutation that I would not like to get into the chances of.

Red is not a good eye color to begin with. So many Mary Sues have dried out the uniqueness of the color red. -_- Keep in mind that this is the same eye color as her love interest, as I’ve been told.

Species: Sun Mage Angel (hides this to prevent being an outcast to the society around her)

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

This isn’t even in Trauma Team. It was never a thing, It will never be a thing, WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

EVEN I FUCKING KNOW THIS SPECIES IS NOT POSSIBLE, AND I DON’T KNOW THE FANDOM DAMNIT--

Likes: Erhard Muller (CR-S01). Dylan Stiles (belongs to *insert creator name* Only in TCGZ rps), Sweet things and plushies, her work, patient's smiling, etc

Of course only these people she likes. Of. Course.

I’m just confused, but alright.

Dislikes: interaction, being threatened/ made fun off, being an outcast, being feared, ghost, creepy shit, lazy people, etc

Anybody would dislike being made fun of or being threatened. But what I love is the GHOST, as in the singular one ghost. Which ghost is this?

(Maybe it’s Kasper, ‘CAUSE SHE AIN’T FRIENDLY.)

Finally, Triple A speaks.

(Sorry, I was watching Voltron.)

I know. I was sitting next to you the whole time.

Personality: Tsundere Tomboy: A mixture of her Tsundere personality and her Tomboy trait. When she's like this, she tends to get all tough and might as well punch you if your not careful.

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TSUNDERES-- Also, the tomboy trait is also terrible. Don’t use character archetypes to build your character.

Lazy excuses, lazy excuses.

(Why does the person always resort to violence?)

Loner Type: She dislikes interaction with others and never talks to them first. If someone tries to talk to her, she'll speak in a cold tone and in few words to push them away

I don’t think that’s how the loner trait works.

(That’s not a loner, that’s a hostile person.)

They tend to stay away from crowds, not push people away directly.

(Yeah, they’re passive aggressive about most things.)

I... I have no words.

Bio: No one knows where Blaze came from.

(OOHHHHHH SO SPOOPY, OOHHHHHHHH)

*(spoopy wind noises)*

While her background is a mystery, Blaze does happen to remember the time she was called the "Beta" during the time she was used to host a pathogen, but was left for dead because her pathogen doesn't have the regeneration ability as some other advanced pathogens have.

Um, that’s one big long run-on sentence. Do you know where you should put it?

(What?)

UP YOUR --

WHOA OKAY LET’S NOT GO THERE LYN, KEEP IT PG-13 HERE PLEASE.

(o , o ;;;;; )

Also, where was this happening????? (In Agar.io.)

Jesus Christ.

Plus she was used to cultivate pathogens that were used on other victims.

Again, where was this happening???? WHAT GOVERNMENT WAS FUNDING THIS???? Also, this is just BAD. SCIENTIFIC. STUDY. Having already housed a pathogen...unless this takes place before the first mentioned pathogen...in which case structure your bio better...would ruin the integrity of the cultivated pathogen.

I’m just so confused.

(It’s okay. Just nod your head and pretend you understand. It always works.)

I’m already doing that. It’s not working.

(Did you try unplugging and replugging?)

YES.

(Wait, then take out the cartridge and b--)

MOVING ON.

After her escape, she went into hiding for a while so she doesn't get killed.

Be more specific: How did she escape? Where did she hide???

(I’m willing to bet that she hid with her future love interest or something. That or in the magical world of Narnia because plot. Why not.)

I second that.

Slowly during her years of hiding, she decided on being a doctor, preferbably a surgeon, to help people who are suffering and prove to them that the world is a good place to live in despite the ups and downs that people will have to face, which is what Blaze has currently gone through herself.

Didn’t doctors do this to you? I guess, that’s pretty noble though, but how would a person like you, carrying a pathogen that would probably be picked up by like, tests or something, and with no qualifications, get a job as a doctor?

Honestly, what’s the deal with the Pathogen crap?

(It’s just plot, I guess. As for the qualifications, shE’S SOMEHOW MAGICALLY SMART ENOUGH TO BYPASS YEARS AND YEARS OF INTENSE STUDYING, TRAINING, AND DRILLING BECAUSE REASONS. Also, dON’T TRUST HER, SHE’S NOT THE DOCTOR, OR HOUSE.)

After finally catching her dream, she worked as a surgeon in a small hospital in Angeles Bay, where she also first encountered her first GUILT strain in a patient: Kyraki. In due time after figureing out how to stop it, she recieved an invite to work at Caduceus USA, which she accepts and began working there while gaining more knowledge about GUILT and how to treat them. When the GUILT scramble was over and done with, Director Hoffman had Blaze transferred to Resurgam First Care in Portland, possibly in case of a GUILT outbreak there, since some Delphi members escaped from Angeles Bay. She now works as a regular and a GUILT surgeon for Resurgam, keeping her guard up for anything Delphi will throw at her.

Just, no explanation, she just CAUGHT HER DREAM. Cue in the sparkles, please.

*Throws sparkles everywhere* Hooray.

(o u o ;;;;; Okay. wait, what if her eyes sparkle or something? gUYS STOP THE SPARKLES NO.)

TOO LATE--

(Also, I’m not really entitled to say much about the rest of the info, since I don’t know much about the game, but...Guilt? Guilt outbreak? From an outside perspective, I hope to God that Blaze’s creator catches the Guilt and well..No, not do anything bad to herself, just please and kindly fix Blaze.)

Trivia: ~ Blaze has a few weaknesses: While she does have a tomboy side, she still has a soft girl side to her. Evidence is her liking of sweet things and plush toys, though she hides that fact. She can't use sun magic during time when the sun is missing due to clouds or at night, because she is magically drained. Her liking her Erhard (in TT rps) or Dylan (in TCGZ rps) may cause her to lose her focus slightly but she does manage to finish the job without a hassle.

GENDER ROLES, HAAAAAAAAA

WHO NEEDS GENDER IDENTIFICATION AMIRIGHT

( ;A; as a person who identifies as a non-binary gender role (I go by he/him or they/them)....You can’t....You can’t...List.....Girly things...As...A weakness..You can’t just........ cRYING NOISES INTENSIFY. Also, it’S A GOOD THING SHE DOESN’T LIVE IN LONDON CUZ SHE’D BE PRETTY SCREEEEEWWEED. Still, what is she, a freaking plant? I can just imagine her as one of those really cliche, ditsy anime girls yelling “ooohhh nooooo! So and so has drained my powerrrsss!!! Someone saavee meeee!!” Except, this time it’s Blaze yelling about how the clouds and natural weather occurrences are robbing her of her “special” magic.)

Also...magic...isn’t really a thing?? In Trauma Team?? I mean, there’s spiritual people, who can “talk to ghosts” and the like, but “magic” isn’t really shown or stated outright.

I still have no words.

~ Blaze has a few negative traits such as trying to work on a surgery alone when she is in her loner personality, or hit a wall with her fist when she's in her tsundere tomboy personality. She's also presistant that she doesn't want to work with an assistant.

Does she have multi-personality disorder?

(It’s also not very balanced/fair if she has “few negative traits” or “few weaknesses.”, then blabber on and on about the “good things” about your character. You gotta balance out all three equally. Also, I’m pretty goddang sure that you need a team while you’re preforming a surgery. It’s intense, really intense, and high stress. You can’t break your focus for a single second unless you want your patient to die. That includes looking away from the cut-open patient to go get the knives or something; you kinda are brought out of the zone lest you knock everything over or something. Also, just because you’re a loner, that does not justify not wanting to work with others. You can just simply have her do her thing, then leave almost immediately after. That can be considered a loner since she doesn’t stay around others for too long. I know this is a lot, but I got a lot so sit down and buckle up. One last thing; how is her hand not broken yet???? Walls are...Walls. One does not simply hit the wall with their fist while being angry/irritated and walk away unscathed. At the very least, you would have bruises or something. One more thing--)

That’s. Enough. Please. You wrote A FREAKING PARAGRAPH-- TO THE POINT THAT MOD LYN HAD TO GO TO THE RESTROOM.

(.....Why do you write like you’re running out of time-- Okayokay I’m sorry. I tend to ramble a lot when I actually have an opinion. Also, I’m not sorry for the paragraph.)

Gee Thanks. Let’s continue shall we? Even though the only person who knows the fandom left. Oh wait, she’s back, never mind. Now I’m clocking out, have fun guys!

(NOOOO BABY COME BACK! I’M A CHANGED MAN! I’LL STOP DRINKING-- jokes aside, let’s go on!)

~ Having Tori Yugaina within her doesn't affect her status as a surgeon, but she fears that it will go rampant, despite not harming innocent people or patients, and search of the person that left her for dead. However, Tori Yugaina remains dormant unless blaze digested a poisonous substance.

Okay, so Tori Yugaina is the pathogen. An odd name, but that’s pretty par for the course in Trauma Team. However, she should know better than to risk it moving onto her various patients during treatment.

(Fear can mess someone up pretty badly if left unchecked. The fear that her or her pathogen may cause harm should make her more nervous or paranoid, but I guess that feeds into the loner personality?? Also, what, Tori feeDS OFF OF BLAZE’S OVERWHELMING FLOOD OF ANGST, SELF PITY AND DESPAIR WHEN SHE SLOWLY GETS SCREWED OVER BY SAID POISON?)

How did Tori Yugaina become Tori Yugaina in the first place. I didn’t know a pathogen could name itself... I am so confused, and thank god this bio is almost over.

~ Tori Yugaina is Japanese for "Poisonous Bird" and gains their name from eatting poisnous bugs, which is how this particular pathogen activates when Blaze digested a poisonous substance. She has blade like tentacles on her arms; if she lose both of them, she is rendered useless. Her arms served as wings when her blades are large like wings.

It’s a pathogen????? WHY ARE YOU SPROUTING TENTACLES???? I might not be doing terribly in-depth research, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing???

Well that sort of answered my question???? But where the fuck did the tentacles come from? WHAT IS THIS FANDOM EVEN???????

(o u o ;;; Sounds like some sort of Tokyo Ghoul crap. Okay, the explanation itself, at best, is mediocre. The explanation of the wings symbolism is still kinda confusing and really forced/not subtle. Ohkay, arms are wings. Cut them off and she’s a whiny, blubbering and useless pile of flesh.)

~ Blaze has a crush on Erhard, though she does not interact with him due to her loner personality. The crush probably developed after making eye contact with the convict surgeon, and though she does not speak to him, making eye contact says alot more than you can think.

Ah, love at first sight. Kill me, fellow mods.

Gladly, but let me kill myself first before I do so.

(Guys please ;w; you really shouldn’t joke about that kind of stuff.... As for the thing itself, uhhh.. Okay. I get that it’s been scientifically shown that if you make eye contact with someone enough, you’ll form a bond with them, but you can’t just stare at some eye in the eyes for a while without saying a word and somehow magically fall in love with them. Communication is key, and if your loner personality trait (which by now has been shoved down our throats) is an obstacle, then play with that idea. Does she overcome it for her crush? Or does she just let it continue to be an obstacle? Shrug.)

~ She keeps her wings and magic a secret from everyone else is mainly due to having the fear of being shunned away, being an outcast to the society, and being seen as a monster. She only shows them to the people she can trust, as long as they don't tell anyone. She's still paranoid however....

Whhhhhhyyyyyyy. Just why does she have wings and magic???????

(....You...You can’t just... You can’t just give her those things without any explanation or reasoning. You can’t just.. You can’t just....I mean, I’m sure there would be plenty of people who would be stunned and admire her for her abilities. Okay, though, I can understand the paranoia part, but you can’t just giver her things just so you can fuel her angsty teen flames.)

~ She can lose her loner personality and open up to others once she realized she's slowly accepting people into her life.

(You switched from present tense to past tense. GG? ((GG can also mean Good Going)) ....I guess this kinda redeems her constant hostility disguised as being a loner, but..Still. It’s not fully justified. Though, if pulled off correctly, you can actually have some character growth and development from this.)

~ Her hair, in a way, twitches when she's angry or sensing danger; It's kinda like an instinct or something.

I’ll pass this off as an anime thing, but it’s still annoying.

I never understood the hair twitch...

(IT’S ALIVE. IT’S ALLIIIIIIVVEEEEE!!) ~ When she is Tori Yugaina, her eyes are pure red with a slit black pupil instead of the whites just being black and retained the red iris.

Ow the edge.

So hardcore.

(AANNNNGSSTTYYYYY TEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!! YOU CAN’T JUST....YOU CAN’T....WhydoIevenbotheratthispoint. Clearlythiskidhasnoselfcontrol/reason.)

~ Her left eye is covered to hide the sun imprint inside.

Again with the sun imprint. We’ve went over this already, so scroll back up and read it again if you want to get the ~*extended*~ experience.

Fuck this shit.

(If she constantly covers her left eye with her hair, I don’t care about what kind of fancy smancy powers you got. You’re going to develop this condition called “lazy eye”, which screws over your eye sight. If she constantly had this happen, in a little while she’s going to be half blind.)

~ Only Director Hoffman knows that Blaze is the next candidate to bear the Healing Touch, though it is uncertain when it will be in effect

“She’s sooooo speshyl, u gaiz!!! OMG!!!”

I can already tell this is bullshit. I’m keeping my responses short so I can let out full power on the next one.

(O u o ;;; okay you guys. Okay. Uhh.....That again just fuels the “Imma just sham things just cuz plot/reasons unexplained to the readers! WHY NOT” flame. What is she, freaking Jesus? You can’t just...Welp, never mind.)

~ She likes singing and dancing like her younger half sister Moon. Don't watch her do it unless you want to get punched.

Violent, much?? Why would you hurt people who did nothing to you???

What next, is suddenly breathing the same air as her sister going to land me in jail?

(...Okay. So basically, avoid her like the plague unless I want to get physically harassed by a temperamental brat just cuz I found things out about her that she wanted to keep a secret.)

~ More to come later

Alright, that was tough. Two more sisters to go, hooray...

Next up, Blaze Kirigiri!

(o u o ;;;; okay..Let’s go..)

I welcome you, death.

+ Basic Information +

Full Name: Blaze Kirigiri

(....Wasn’t the detective kid from the first Dangan Ronpa named Kirigiri something?)

Kyoko Kirigiri! Please change the last name to something else, don’t rip off of an already canon character.

Age: (depending on 's Ryan Komaeda's age, she's 1 year younger then him)

Um, what the actual fresh titty?? Why is her age dependent on that of another character’s???

Fresh titty, oh my god-- On the other hand, what the flying fuck. Does the age matter when it comes to love? I’m only saying this because if she’s mentioning another character in an irrelevant category, it can only mean one thing after all...

(Language you two. Language. Uhh...You two pretty much summed up my thoughts. Whoopsies.)

Birthdate: Unknown (mostly i make it june 14)

Your birthdate should not be unknown in the world of Dangan Ronpa. It’s a “five minutes in the future” setting, which means it should’ve been recorded.

Is there a specific reason why the characters so far have their birthdays on June 14? What’s so significant about that day? Is it the creator’s birthday (I hope not, cause otherwise that’s self-insert character right there)?

(I really don’t have much to say about her birthday, other that I’m hoping to god that AQ is not going to use Blaze’s unknown birthday as a source of angst since no one will celebrate it with her since they don’t know when it is.)

nO DON’T GIVE HER IDEAS TRIPLE A-- Also for those of you who don’t know, AQ is the nickname of the creator. -w-

(I’M SORRY--)

Gender: Female

Species: 90% Human 10% magic user

No. Dangan Ronpa, much like Trauma Team, has a “spiritual” aspect to it, but nothing like magic. Even less so. Also, why are “magic users” a separate species from humans? I already addressed the “race percentages” problem.

This isn’t Yu-Gi-Oh, get out.

(....Uh...Okkaayyy theeennn. I’m pretty sure everyone canonically in DR are normal people. Well, mostly normal. There’s Sakura and Junko, but we don’t talk about them. Also, since when did magic come into play??? You can’t just throw that in there! It’s like throwing poop at a fan-- oh wait, she’s doing that already. Whoops.)

Mod Triple A is that one dude who refuses to swear by the way. -u-

(Yes indeed. This is off-topic, but I refrain from swearing or using strong language because I was kinda..Raised that way, and it’s been ingrained into my head that swearing is bad. Moving on--)

I was going to say more but yeah, off-topic.

+ Appearance +

Height: ??

Just pick a fucking height.

What Mod Lyn said.

(OOOOOHHH SOO SPOOOPPYYYYYYYYY.)

Build: Skinny but not like chopsticks

(You do you, I guess. But..Chopsticks? Really? Okay then.)

Hair Color: red Hair Type: fluffy and long

(Floooooooooooooffff -smushes own cheeks-)

Eye color: red with purple moon in right eye

W h y??????

N o??????

(Cuz why not apparently. I think it was supposed to be a family thing; Blaze Angel is the “sun” while Kirigiri is the “moon”. Why? Cuz reasons I guess.)

No no, cause fuck logic, it got thrown out of the window. -w- Even if it’s a family thing, Danganronpa is its own fandom, no matter how magical your family is. Stick with fandom rules, pal, and stop causing dimensional paradoxes between universes.

(Yeah. You can’t just insert yourself while defying all logic and reasoning. But you do you, I guess.)

Skintone: pale peach Scars: none

(Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that AQ took the time to write down that she has no scars. I mean, that would imply that her other characters have them, or that she will be updating this later.)

I’m not fucking appreciating this. Moving on.

Piercings, tattoos: none Other: none

(-Insert thumbs up here- Okay. Other, none. Welp.)

+ Personality & Relations + Personality: Calm and collected, Lone wolf and emotionless, but is truthfully insecure.

Again, pretty lacking, but better than the others in that you didn’t start out with just a character archetype.

Very lacking. Again, explain yourself. But I agree with Mod Lyn, better than what you wrote for Blaze Angel, I guess.

(Woman of few words, huh? I actually appreciate that she put down “truthfully insecure”. That means that you can go from there with character development. It’s still not balanced with positive and negative, but at least it wasn’t all positive.)

Occupation: Ultimate Duelist (She has gotten rid of the Soldier of Hope title)

Soo...you’re a card game player. That...probably wouldn’t get you into Hope’s Peak. They’re searching for “the future leaders of the world” not “the future leaders of the basement dwellers.”

I’m at least appreciating the fact that she got rid of the Soldier of Hope title, because that was pretty cliche. Kudos to her for doing that. In response to what Lyn said, they literally have an “Ultimate Cosplayer” in the DRV3 game, so the “Ultimate Duelist” is passable in my book. I could list out a bunch of other useless titles that are actually canon, but that would take a considerable amount of time. -w-

(.....Uhh...... I’m just sitting here hoping that she didn’t throw away her Hope title thing just so she can “SUCCUMB TO DESPAIIIRR!!!1!1!1!”)

Sexual Orientation: Straight Relationship Status: Taken

By??

Ryan Komaeda, who else? -w- He’s not part of this review, so we’ll ignore him.

Relationships with Other Characters: Ryan Komaeda: Loves him dearly. Insecure of her emotions with the subject is about him...

ELABORATE. WHY DOES SHE LIKE HIM?? HOW DID THEY MEET???

Called it. But yeah, why, why and why? Um... Yeah, I don’t understand how they got together.

(Didn’t your elementary school teachers tell you an essential writing technique? You know, the “WHO”, “WHAT”, “WHERE”, “WHEN”, and “WHY?” ...Oh, and “HOW.”)

... Yeah, pretty much what Triple A said. Off-topic, but can we just called you Mod Battery? Triple A is too long. Or should we just call you AAA?

(Yeah, I really don’t care. Triple A, Battery, or AAA is all good with me o u o ; )

Everyone, meet Mod Battery.

Blaze Angel: Likes her middle sister, but often has to put up with her hyperness

Not a word. Also, explain in detail.

Hm, I can really feel that deep, loving connection between the two.

(Welp....? Alright then.)

Moon: She likes Moon, mainly because of her singing, but worries about moon's living conditions...

Again, this little detail on why she likes her sister makes her seem a bit shallow. Only the singing??

“Mainly because of her singing” makes it sound like that’s the ONLY trait Kirigiri likes about Moon. =v=;

(..Living condition? Be more specific?? What, is she living on the moon? I would be concerned too if that were the case.)

+ Other + Elder sister of the three, so she is the second intelligent, with moon ranking somewhat first She is rumored to be cold and emotionless, being more of a lone wolf and have only a few friends, but that is only a mask.. Truthfully, under any sort of negativity involved, will her true self be shown; an insecure duelist who doesn't know how to handle emotions very wells She loves Ryan Komaeda, but the relationship seems shaky, which is observed by the middle sister.

You need to establish the relationship. Explain some of the backstory. Build on her character. Stating that she is secretly insecure doesn’t make her “deep” or even interesting. You need to show events that also demonstrate this personality, otherwise she just looks like the shell that people “think” she is.

Lyn covered most of the things I would’ve said. I can’t muster up any more thoughts to talk about this section.

(Rumors???? REALLY??? ....Welp. If everything is so well hidden, then..I guess that’s plausible? But then again, it really shouldn’t be. The Mastermind has dirt on EVERYONE in the school. Also, SOMEWHAT first? Your age does not entail intellect, but okay then. Plus, why is it only when things are going to crap do you finally come out of that turtle shell of yours? Were your tears too much? Did they wash you out? -puts on sunglasses while air horns wail in the background-)

Oh damn, he sure got you there. Ugh, I know I could say a whole lot more but it’s about 3:40 in the morning and I wanna go to sleep.

(WEAK IS FOR THE SLEEPPPPPPPP)

Yeah, we’re drunk as we write this by the way.

(I SWEAR TO DRUNK I’M NOT GOD)

Don’t worry, I’m god too.

Her background info is surrounded by mystery as well.

You know the drill.

OOOOHHHHHHH SPOOKYYYYYYYY *spooky noises*

(Welp. Again, the Mastermind has dirt on EVERYONE, including YOUR MISTY BUTT YOUNG MISSY.)

Her ancestor is the Moon Warrior Lunarias.

Again with the ancestors? This stuff was never mentioned in Dangan Ronpa.

How relevant is the Moon Warrior Lunarias to the fandom? I bet zero to none, because he/she (I can’t tell because of the flipping unisex name) sounds pretty damn mystical and shit. In Danganronpa, no actual magic is really shown. Spiritually, yes, but physically, no.

(Again with the random patronymic out of nowhere. Okay. I’m willing to bet that either Lunarias was created by AQ as well with little to no explanation, or they’re some sort of Japanese mythical kid thing.)

I think she made him up along with Solarius, I heard the creator mentioning the two warriors in Angel’s and Kirigiri’s PIRATE BIOS. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT FOLKS, THERE ARE PIRATE BIOS FOR THEM but we ain’t got time for that shiz.

(o u o ;;;;; weLP. So what, Moon ain’t cool enough to have some sort of mystical ancestor? I’m kinda confused as to how their lineage and family tree works, but that’s a thing apparently.)

Thankfully this is the only bio for this character. Onto the last one... Blaze Moon? Let’s just call her Moon, as the creator suggested. -_- She has a LOT OF revised bios, but being the lover of suffering I am, let’s review them all! Haha... ha... Kill me.

+ Basic Information + Full Name: Vocaloid Moon, PROJECT MOON Age: ??

Birthdate: ??

As I’ve said before, Vocaloids are not actual people, they are voicebanks assigned “characters,” so the age and “birthdate” of your vocaloid should be recorded.

On the wikias vocaloids apparently do have ages... Miku is 16 if I can recall. So I guess it’s based on when they were created? That or it’s actually their mental age. Whatever. (Regardless, they’re artificial, so measuring them in years for anything really is kinda..You don’t..Really..Okay then.)

Gender: Female Species: Vocaloid

Vocaloid isn’t really a species.

Eh... Try voice synthesizer? Although that as well doesn’t make sense either.

+ Appearance + Height: She's tall when she wears her platform shoes but without them, she's only chin high

PICK A SPECIFIC HEIGHT, DAMMIT. WHOSE CHIN HIGH IS SHE???

Have you noticed she didn’t put down weight for any of these characters yet bothered to put down “Height: (insert crappy explanation/question marks)”? Honestly.

Build: skinny and weak Hair Color: red Hair Type: fluffy and long like the others Eye color: red with purple moon in right eye

=_=

You know the our rant about this symbol in eye thing. Moving on...

Skintone: pale peach Scars: Two horizontal scars on her back that looks as if she used to have wings but were entirely yanked off... painfully

Ah, the angst. Repeat after me, kids: She shouldn’t have wings, because she’s a v o c a l o i d. I don’t think any vocaloid canonically has wings.

Oh, spare me the deets about wings. Cliche, and not happening in the fandom of Vocaloid.

(I CALLED IT EARLIER.)

Piercings, tattoos: none Other: she has two hand shaped bruises on her neck from when she was strangle, which is then hidden by a black leather belt chocker

See above. Also, must be a pretty big choker. But why would those stay? Bruises heal.

I’d imagine someone continuously bruised her???? But that would create more consequences right????? Jesus Christ I forgot that this sue had the most angst out of the three sisters.

(I agree, Zil. Also...If it was continuous bruising, then that probably would interfere with her ability to sing. Or at least, make her have some sort of breath/speaking problem. If you were strangled, then you’re going to have some sort of health issue. Plus...She’s artificial???? She’s not human?????? She would either be a ghostly projection thing OR she’s a robot. Soo...)

I was so sleep-deprived that I completely overlooked the fact that she’s still a Vocaloid. =_=

+ Personality & Relations + Personality: Shy and always nervous. always stutter when speaking and would flinch away if someone would try to harm her. Isn't very good with socializing with others

Again, needs more depth, but better than before.

Still lacking like Kirigiri’s, but I agree. A little better.

(“flinch away if someone would try to harm her.” ........wOOOOOWWW. CONGRAAAATUULAATIIONNNSS! YOU DON’T WANT TO GET HURT LIKE A NORMAL KIIIDD!)

This proves that Mod Battery know what he’s doing while the rest of us are being burdened with the “I can’t stand the sueness” headache.

(Welp, rip you guys lol.)

Occupation: Vocaloid at Vocaloid Studios Sexual Orientation: Straight

(THEY’RE ALL AS STRAIGHT AS A STICK I GUESS. I don’t have anything against straight people, but it would be cool to mix it up, I guess.)

Eh. I personally don’t care about their sexual orientation, at least for these mary sues. =_= It’s obvious that they got SOME DUDE they like. Moving on.

Relationship Status: Taken ((Insert creator’s friend’s icon)'s Daburu)

Relationships with Other Characters: (insert creator’s friend’s icon)'s Vocaloids

Daburu: She's always more comfortable around him and trusts him 100%. However, she always feel like she's not good around him. She keeps her distance away from him because Daburu's best friend. Her relationship is Platonic

You probably shouldn’t feel bad around your friends, but okay. Otherwise, this is pretty decent.

A-Okay -- Hold up, how the fuck are they in a relationship then, you just said Moon was taken by Daburu yet here she is, avoiding him like the plague. Contradictions at its finest, my friends!

(Calm down kids ;w; But yeah, contradicting. If you trust someone 100%, that implies that you are perfectly fine with the person being around you since you trust them completely. You can’t just forfeit that when another person is around; you would be okay with their friend if you trust the person entirely. One last thing; platonic? Correct me if i’m wrong, but platonic love means that you love someone, but not in a romantic way. That would technically mean that she’s not taken by him?)

Bodiru: She hates him. Because she has a relationship with Daburu, Bodiru would always try to harm her or kill her so he can have Daburu for himself. Moon often keeps her distances away from the two so she doesn't bother both of them

From what I’ve seen, even the creator is a bit uncomfortable at you using their characters this way. I don’t think this is his canon personality. Plus, it’s not like you’re completely innocent either.

Er... Bodiru... I wonder why she clashes minecraft youtubers with vocaloid, it doesn’t really help the situation...

(Okay, at least there’s explanation. But uh...Look out guys, we got a yandere over here. I’m also willing to bet that it was because of Bodiru that she got the strangle scars or something.)

Maaku: She thinks of him as an older brother and trusts him 100%. He, as well as Jakku, are probably the ones Moon would tell her problems to, other then Tom.

(Okay. That’s nice. This is a good thing. Maaayybe a little more on why she trusts him so much, but this is a lot better than before.)

Jakku: Like Maaku, Moon thinks of him as an older brother. He, along with Maaku, are the ones Moon would always go to speak her problems to, other then Tom.

Elaborate more. WIth this cut-and-paste relationship, you make it sound as if they are the same person.

Who cares, it’s SEPTIPLIER~ I hope someone detects the /sarcasm/ there.

(waiT YOU’RE RIGHT IT IS THE SEPTIPLIER OHMYGOD I DIDN ‘ T RE AL IZ E--)

Tom Wingfield: She respects him as a boss and sometimes calls him boss at one end and "Father" on the other. she trusts him with her documents

???? Why would you call your boss “Father?” It’s a bit weird, but I’m going to assume that he’s Moon’s creator and that’s why.

Mkay... I guess this isn’t.... bad? -3- (insert creator’s friend’s icon here)'s King Haydess Boo the 14th: She's alright around him but mostly keeps her distance from him in case his wife might kill her. Because Moon is in love with a Boo, she calls herself Foolish. Why...why is a Mario World character in Vocaloid?????? WHY IS SHE IN LOVE WITH HIM?????

Yeah, fandom mixing is a no-go. Don’t do it. Especially if it’s with more than two fandoms. =_=

(I’m actually okay with fandom mixing, so long that it’s justified or at least has some sort of explanation. It does get kinda confusing, but again, so long things make sense it’s fine. This..On the other hand...Doesn’t really make that much sense. It’s like you’re just plopping him in here just ‘cause. Also... ooHH MU GAWD GUYSS!!1!1! LOOK, IT’S FORBADDEN LOOOOVEEE1!!!1!)

Stan Wingstein: Moon did not know about him at all, but she is supposed to be his artificial daughter.

Ooooh boy. Here comes ze angst. Need I repeat what Vocaloids ACTUALLY are?

Oh Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn You hardly know about Vocaloid do you.

(......WELP.)

Kingsley/ Glitch Moon: Moon despises her, but has no choice but to live with it. Kingsley always causes trouble by either trying to take over Moon's system, or try to kill her when Kingsley is in her own body

Any sort of “virus” in the Vocaloids’ systems are created by Vocaloid artists for songs. They’re not real and even if they were, VOCALOIDS ARE JUST VOICEBANKS. THEY WOULD NOT AFFECT THE VOCALOIDS’ PERSONALITY. I’m pretty sure no canon Vocaloid has a “glitch” or “secret dark side.”

*sigh* This is getting ridiculous.

(mORE ANGSTTTTTTTT -throws black confetti everywhere-)

The Yo-kai Venoct, Shadow Venoct and Light Venoct (in Japanese: Orochi, Kage Orochi and Hikari Orochi): After a recent update, Moon can now see the impossible, which include these brothers. Their always around her so she'll be safe. They created this scarf for her to wear, which it also protects her

=_= Whyyyy can you see YOKAI???

TOO MANY FANDOM MIXING, STOP IT

( ; w ; It would, again, be cool if there were some sort of explanation. Also, kindly stop trying to plop all the Japanese things in here. Also, why is it so special that she can see these guys?? I don’t know anything about Yo-kai, so..? But why would they want to protect her??? Cuz they take pity? ; m ; )

+ Other + Moon was born in a test chamber and was to be Stan Wingstein's Artificial Daughter, but was then a Vocaloid upon awakening in the now abandoned lab.

How...how do you accidentally turn someone into a vocaloid?? (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ))

PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO “ACCIDENTALLY” TURN SOMEONE INTO A VOCALOID.

(weLP. That would mean that she really is artificial, but..Human, like? Not a projection or a robot?? Okkayy then. That doesn’t really...Welp.)

She is the clone of Stan Wingstein's daughter, Lunar Wingstein, however, even if cloned from her DNA, Moon does not gain any memories from her.

Vocaloids(’ characters) are androids, not clones????

What even at this point. How is this process accidental????? I’m hiccuping spicy hiccups because NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

(hWOT AND SPWOCYY -wINK- but uh..You...Do..You, I guess. I’m just going to nod at this point.)

She once was a singer for a boy band because they were looking for a girl singer, but she left the group after some time because at ever concert, all the male fans would gather at Moon's feet, making all the women jealous.

But why would there be a bunch of male fans of a boy band??? Seriously, tell me one boy band known for its male fanbase. Also, boy bands are not known for their female singers (it’s in the name) or their use of Vocaloids.

Because she has to be a pretty pretty little princess who’s somehow attractive to ALLLLLLL DEM BOYS AMIRIGHT =_= This is literally just saying, “Hey, she’s hella attractive that all the boys love her and all the women are jealous!”

(Welppppp. You're doing it. Also, was she a guest singer? It defeats the purpose of calling the group a boy band if they're trying to mix things up with having a girl member. Plus, I'm not really going to comment on why there are guy fans, but I would imagine that they're not the only crowd; there probably would be a majority consisting of girl fans. One last thing; just because you sing beautifully doesn't mean that you are guaranteed a date.)

Moon was ambushed in an alley and left for dead until Tom Wingfield found her. Moon was admitted to the hospital a few times because she often insisted she would go out by to do the shopping without an escort, because she does not want to burden anyone.

Hospital clerk: Wh...what do you want use to do with this?? This a hospital, not a mechanic.

SHE AIN’T HUMAN, SO SHE AIN’T BE GETTING HURT ANYTIME SOON

(Run on sentences. Grammar. I'm thinking that at this point, AQ is convinced that humans/humanoid people become vocaloids if they're programable or can fit their role of singing and such. On the topic of the thing.. I hope she realizes how contradicting that is. You go out with no protection, you get mugged and sent to the hospital...you're causing a lot more trouble then it's worth. Also, why the heck does she continue to go out if she's such a target? After the second time a logical person, who would really want to avoid the traumatic experience, have the common sense to stop doing that.)

She has died once, by a Kingsley infected Daburu stabbing her power core, but was back online by Tom. After a recent update, Moon is now wearing a whispy scarf with dragon heads, in which changes color according to Moon's emotions and it protects her by biting the attacker.

Moon can see the impossible, but says nothing about it.

“She’s so speshul u gaiz!!!!11!!! OMG!!!!11!!!!11!!111!!!!!eleventy-two”

SUCH A SPECIALLLLLLL SNOWFLAKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE

(Guys calm down ; w ; it's a little nit-picky, but just.. A singular, singular infected crush guy. Also, if she apparently is a human mixed with artificial, mechanical behaviors, then.. I'm not entirely convinced that ghosts can control that kind of thing. Why do the scarfs change according to her? Is there some sort of spiritual bond? Again, ghosts and technological human things probably don't mix.)

But wait, there’s more (bios)!

Name: Vocaloid Moon. Age: 18-19 Birthday: N/A Height: ???? Weight: ??

In the Vocaloid “universe” Vocaloids are androids with realistic weight. Please, for everything that is good and pure in this miserable world, put some information down.

No comment.

(Still refuses to add a height, this time along with weight. As for the birthday...again, I'm really confused as to what her deal is with the human...clone...robot thing is. You're trying to imply that she's more mechanical since machines don't really have birthdays?)

Gender: F Speices: Vocaloid

(Again with the Vocaloid species. Welp.)

Occupation: Vocaloid at Vocaloid Studio, Venoct's student

Personality: shy and nervous, sometimes to the point of crying if nervous enough. When her scarf is black, she might attack you. If yellow, she'll be a kind and happy person. When turquoise, she's normal.

(Uhh...Well.. I guess it's kinda better than before? Still lacking, but I guess what's there is...Okay I guess. It's actually nice that she has more of her flaws in there. Unsure about the scarf part, though; didn't she say before that only she could see the scarf? It defeats the purpose of including the colors part if others can't see it.)

Clothes: She always wears her standard Vocaloid outfit. Often she wears Lolita dresses, normal dresses or an outfit she received from the mysterious lord of Yo-Kai

Again. Why the yokai.

Fandom mixing. Like I said, I’m not keen about that. By the way, Mod Battery left so he won’t be reviewing the following information. =3=

(Clothes ....Mmmmhmmm. Alright.)

(ALSO, WHATCHA SAY ABOUT ME?! I was busy shopping cuz...Reasons?)

And he’s back, never mind!

Status: 90% Vocaloid, 10% Yokai

(ﾉTwT)ﾉ ┫:･’.::･┻┻:･’.::･

STOP THIS NONSENSE ALREADY, YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR

(Percentages don't always round to nice and pretty numbers, but alright then.)

Secrets: Heightened Sight to see Yo-Kai, able to use Yo-Kai technique, has the Slippery Tribe mark on her arm.

・゜・(ノД`)

WHERE’S THE VODKA

(...It's nice that she included this, but I was hoping for something that would add to her character so she isn't 2D. ....Being 10% Yo-kai doesn't really...entail all of those abilities. Or at least, the percentages and abilities sorta seem..Off-scale. You make her Yokai-ness sound more like it's complete, when the percentage doesn't line up That would probably be more like...I dunno... 60% Vocaloid, 40% Yokai??)

Sexuality: straight

Relationships: () Dabaru: although she trust him with her secret to see strange things and is indeed in love with him, she worries that she'll drag him into her problems too much.

(....Mkay. That's...Reasonable, I guess. A little more info is preferred..But okay.)

The Slippery Yo-Kai Venoct (and 'brothers'): When Moon isn't singing, she can always trust these three for her training. Depending on the scarf color, each teacher varies in attacks.

(...Mmmhhmmm.. Ooohhkaay then. I don't entirely believe this kid, but I guess that's a thing. Again, I don't know much about Yo-Kai, but from an outside perspective..That's...That still feels self-centered on Blaze. Why do they teach her?)

Lord Enma: She and this lord of Yo-Kai get along pretty well since their first meeting.

W H Y????

H O W???? I hope this is explained in the bio.

(Lord Enmna ....-slow nod- You do you. Though, the way she goes on about Yo-kai kinda undermines the vocaloid part of her, which SHOULD be the majority??)

Bio: Moon was to be the Artifical daughter of scientist Stan Wingstein, who's biological daughter passed away from a disease. She was supposed to wake up at the correct age, but wasn't able to be awaken at the specific date because Stan was forced to leave her behind. She woke up at a different age and time, releasing herself from her glass prison and wanders the world herself. However she is different from the rest of the world because of her 'sight'. She can see creatures called Yo-Kai, creatures that love to make mischief and can't been seen with human eyes. However her eyes are not stronger enough and can only see their sillouettes. Any attempt to see clearer will put a strain to her eyes.

This is Vocaloid. Yokai should not be involved.

Who cares, she’s already been fandom mixing shit from the start.

(Zil, please ; w ; I know you're upset, but keep going with the character analysis. As for the thing, yeah. Talking so much about the Yo-kai part should mean that she's mostly Yo-kai..Wait, is that even a species?? Aren't they human, just with cool special powers?? Also, this is again a little more nit-picky, but please change the sentense structure. That's like, looking in one direction, looking in a different one with the first "however", then looking in the same direction as before with the second "however". Plus...She never explained why she's part Yo-Kai. Was it because her timing got screwed over so much that it mutated??)

She was brought into the studio by Tom Wingfield, Stan Wingstein's nephew, who is unaware that Moon is his uncle's Artifical Daughter. During her time, Moon enjoys singing solos, but after partnering up with a boy named Dabaru, she enjoys duets as well. She find that she has a crush on him, knowing he will keep her secret and everything. One day Moon had met Venoct disguised as a young boy who had passed out in the snow, but with her 'sight' she managed to found out that he is really a Yo-Kai. After helping him keep warm, she was rewarded with his medal of friendship, and a night visit from the Lord of Yo-Kai himself. Moon met Lord Enma at night, who helped heightened her 'sight' by giving her 10% Yo-Kai soul. With that 10%, not only she can 'see' but also can use Yo-Kai powers. After asking the question about which Tribe she like and who shall be her teacher, Moon has chosen the Slippery tribe and wanted Venoct as her teacher. After the approval, Lord Enma gives her his medal of friendship and a duplicate of Venoct's aura scarf, warning Moon that the dragons at the endS may attack if angered. Afterwards, Moon has lived in two different worlds, her Vocaloid life and part Yo-Kai life.

“She’s so speshul u gaiz!!!!11!!! OMG!!!!11!!!!11!!111!!!!!eleventy-two”

Why would the Lord give her fucking Yo-Kai powers. I get that she saved Venoct, but I don’t think it’s that remarkable to be awarded with powers. THEN AGAINNNN, Mythology loves to exaggerate awards and quests as well, so maybbeeeeeee I shouldn’t be complaining. Maybe.

(...Again, grammar. Then again, I suck at it too so I don't really have much to say, but still. Also, having a crush doesn't immediately guarentee that he'll keep a secret. Or the other way around; keeping a secret does not entail romantic attraction. Also, how does her sight work? Can she turn it off and on? Is it always like that? ...And did he just magically create a medallion and give it to her as a sign of friendship?? This is not the Indian Peace Medals, nor the 1800s. As for the rest of the thing..Saving one of a leader's subjecst does not entail a visit from said leader. They got other stuff too. Even if the guy you saved is a leader, the supreme guy doesn't just go over and say "hey you did good so Imma bless you with special powers now." I'm still skeptical about the whole percentages and..Wait...SHE WAS ABLE TO SEE AND DO THAT KIND OF STUFF WITH THE YO-KAI //BEFORE// SHE HAD THE PART SOUL THING?! THE HECK?!)

I think this is the last bio for this character. Thank god.

Name: Vocaloid Moon Will respond to: Moon, Squirt (Jakku may call her this), Lass, Miss Moon, Little sister, Madchen (German word for Madame. Nobori and/or Kudari will call her this)

(....dON'T JUST PLOP OTHER LANGUAGES INTO THIS. DUDE. SERIOUSLY.)

Will NOT respond to: Asshole, Bitch, ugly, stupid little sister (Bodiru might say this), any bad names.

There’s...really no need to put this here.

Nobody would respond to those names. I don’t think those are even nicknames, they’re just name calling.

(I'm surprised that she didn't mention anything about punching the guy who did it, since there was a log of violence earlier.)

Age: ?? Personal symbol: Purple moon

(......Ooooohhhkaayyyy..)

skin color: pale peach Hair color: red Hair style: little bit sticks on right side, tuffs of hair sticks up on left side. Back reaches the middle of her back. Has braid tied to left side of head with purple moon hair clip at the starting end. Front of hair covers right eye

(...Soo...Uhh..Her hair is poofy and medium sized?)

Eye color: red. Right eye has purple moon symbol.

(...Again with the whole moon thing with no explaination.)

Clothes: a white vocaloid outfit with purple edges. The left sleeve is short and comes with arm warmer. Right sleeve is long and reaches past her fingertips. Shirt reaches up to her stomach, where you can see her belly button. Her pants ar also white with purple edges. Has multiple zippers. Left legging is short. Shoes are white with tall purple platform soles.

(Pfft she still wears arm-warmers? What, is this the 80s? And what's with the platform shoes??)

Other sets of clothes: Black and white Subway Master uniform, Green male depot agent uniform, a lot of Lolita outfits (Shiro, Kuro, Sweet, etc), boy clothes, a pair of all of her brothers clothes (stolen from their bedrooms by Operator).

Oh my god---We’re bring Pokemon into this, kill me. Just please, stick to a solid fandom and stop mixing them with others, unless you have a REALLY GOOD AND DETAILED EXPLANATION.

(o w o ;; welp..There goes Zil again-- as for the analysis...You..Do..You I guess. Wait..She has brothers?)

Yeah, Daburu, Bodiru, Maaku, Jaaku, all those people.

(.....She..Oh? Okay???? wAIT SHE'S CRUSHING ON HER BROTHER?! And she never explained that part either ; w ; ;;; she just mentioned how she was cloned or something, nothing about the others and how they're related.)

That... That’s true.

(TT w TT ;;; okay then)

Accessories: white headset with purple moons on the muffs, arm warmer (comes with the outfit), black leather collar.

(.....Slowly nods. Okay then.)

Injuries, wounds or red marks: a large black bruise around her neck (covered by black leather collar) (caused by Bodiru), a few small non-fatal stab wounds (caused by Bodiru), a scrap on head and kneecaps (caused by tripping on first day at Studio), a few large bruises (caused by falling down the stairs after being pushed by Bodiru), a large hand print on her back (cause by Jakku giving her a friendly slap on the back), another large handprint on her lower back (caused by Maaku trying to kill a mosquito when she couldn't reach it), some mosquito bites.

I mean, these all will heal...and thinking about it, SHE’S AN ANDROID! SHE SHOULDN’T BRUISE OR BE INJURED THAT EASILY!

She shouldn’t bruise or be injured PERIOD. Freaking---

(Bodiru is really out to get you, huh? There's really no real explanation about why he's such a Yandere.. aLSO WHAT'S WITH THE MOSQUITO PART?!?)

Self insert. AQ always gets mosquito bites so... yeah.

(Welp.)

Personality: Fragile like, easily scared, prone to cry when nervous levels are off the charts. Always nervous. In fear of few of her brothers.

More like one.

Literally Bodiru is the only brother terrorizing her. Who else?

(Your personality can't really be fragile..??? I can't really take AQ seriously about the nervous part when you describe it as "prone to cry when nervous levels are off the charts". Instead, I hear the freaking Dragon Ball Z in the background. Those are actually very realistic things that she's described, so props to her, but still, you should really explain a little more.)

likes: Dabaru, sweets and pastries, singing, cooking, drawing, hard work, strawberries, moons, nice people, meat, some veggies, some fish, singing parody songs.

(Pretty stereotypical stuff, but alright then.)

dislikes: Bodiru and jinboppu, rude people, veggies, raw food, lizards, snakes, spiders, some bugs, poisonous things, etc

(Same as-- wait, pFFFT JINBOPPU?! THE HECK?! REALLYYYYY?????)

In love with: Dabaru

(....bUT ISN'T HE YOUR BROTHER? I shouldn't really say anything about that since I ship Skycest and crap, as well as being dubbed the Shipping Satan, but..Incest? Alright then?? Maybe..Justify it????? I can justify the different forms of Skycest that I ship but--)

Um...

Really hates: Bodiru, Jinboppu Terrified of: Bodiru, Jinboppu, spiders

=_=

Fuck, I forgot about Jinbop. Jesus Christ...

(I can't take this seriously anymore. Just..Jinboppu--)

Info: ~ can sing to the different emotions in every song ~ has no specific pitch in tone.

(.....I'M PRETTY SURE MUSIC DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY??????? I WOULD KNOW SINCE I'M IN BAND AND PLAY MULTIPLE INSTRUMENTS??????)

FUN.

~ often sings parody songs for fun or for her own purpose. ~ likes to use the voice changer function in her headset to copy her brothers voices.

(Likes to use the voice changer ....Soo..You are a mechanical human thing. Wtf? Please, for the love of god, choose a freaking thing; are you more human or more mechanical????)

~ is in love with Dabaru, but is shy to make the first move. ~ likes to take walks with Aaron, Maaku and Jakku.

(who's Aaron?)

~ likes to hang around with Nobori and Kudari ~ always hide from Bodiru and Jinboppu

(Wtf did you do to Jinboppu to make him hate you so much?)

According to some of her dA gallery pictures, Jinboppu is a yandere for Moon, that's why she hides away from him.

(Um??? Being Yandere and scaring the crap out of your senpai is...Counter productive??)

~ she had no particular favorite song; she likes them equally

(....Them? Specifics?)

~ the only time she has a sexual side is when she sings sexual songs, other then that, she is normal and nervous. ~ always gets strangled by Bodiru, other then that, it might be sometimes a knife going to her head or being pushed down the stairs

Why are you painting him the bad guy because you like the dude he’s paired with???

With every love interest comes with a lovely and badly characterized love rival. Sighhhhhhhhhh...

~ sometimes might call Tom "Father". Most of the time is "Boss"

(.......Mmkay.)

FINAL VERDICT:

Since Mod Lyn and Mod Battery had to leave, I’ll be delivering the final verdict alone.

*clears throat*...

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

BURN AT THE STAKE!!!!

But in all seriousness, these characters are ridiculous. What’s even more outrageous is that they all have the same appearance, yet in different ‘fandoms’. You need to get their family genetics/lineage right and put them in the same fandom or something, otherwise this will not do.

Barely anything in these bios are salvageable. You may have to start from scratch again, but if you choose to fix your OCs, be warned, it’s going to take a long time to fix them before they’re considered decent.

The mods and I had a tough time sifting through these bios, but we made it. We’re alive, with the cost of our precious sleep taken way from us.

All in all, just do your research for the fandoms, please.

~Mod Zilvani

EDIT: Battery came back and demanded his own separate judgment. THANKS BATTERY.

(aLRIGHT, SO my judgement. Honestly, there's a lot of wishy-washy mumbo jumbo. It just feels like everything just..Is..Just put in there randomly and without any reason. It's just there for the sake of the character. If you explain a lot more, that would deffinantly help. It really does seem like Blaze, all three, are Mary sues; they're not "perfect", but they're so freaking special but angsty and powerful but weak. All these contridictions. It really feels unnatural and forced. You gotta fix that, you gotta make things flow more naturally.

I was more or less sane while looking through all this bio stuff. You and Lyn were dying--)

BECAUSE WE WERE SLEEP DEPRIVED--

(So was I but I still kept a level head--)

shhhhh I can't handle sleep deprivation as well as you can ;A;

(Welp--)

(Until next time--)

(I'm the "OH BABY A TRIPLE" A BATTERIES, and we'll see ya later!~)

Yup. Buh-bye~! -u-

~Mod Zilvani and Battery

#danganronpa #mary sue #vocaloid #minecraft #youtubers #self-insert #angsty #Trauma team #Yokai watch #pirates?

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