#I’m tired of shitty people being rewarded for backstabbing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vagrantblvrd · 7 years

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@miss-ingno

For 'Desert Rose’ I’m still stuck on an Indiana Jones-ish AU, and it sounds a lot like archaeologist/adventurer Ryan.

Someone hires Ryan to help them find this fabled gem going by that name and bring him a a page out of a centuries old journal from someone who claimed to have seen it while on a trading expedition.

He runs into Gavin when they get to whatever country the gem is said to be. He’s this charmingly scruffy expatriate who may or may not be flirting outrageously with Ryan. (For some reason he always seems to disappear when Ryan’s employer is around.)

There are shenanigans that involve people trying to kill Ryan and his employer and ~intrigue.

Gavin offers to help Ryan (”Out of the goodness of my heart, you seem a bit lost.”)

Ryan realizes Gavin’s smarter than he lets on, helping Ryan decipher clues leading to it. Offering up local stories about it being cursed and the gem’s bloody history full of betrayal and backstabbing and murder (so much murder) in Ryan’s motel room after a tiring day of escaping death by mere inches and cracking ancient riddles and the like, Gavin kicked back in a chair with a beer while Ryan goes over his notes and whatnot at the table, noises of the city filtering in through the half-open window.

Gavin saves Ryan’s life when his employer double-crosses him and it’s revealed Gavin’s a bit of an adventurer himself.

Has been tracking that rat-bastard for at least a month after he stabbed Gavin and his partners in the back. Gavin telling Ryan that he still has Geoff and Jack, that Gavin’s been ducking Ryan’s employer AND Michael and Jeremy who think Gavin’s lost it.

Convinced that his mentors/family are still alive even though they can’t be.

(They are, though. Gavin’s heard bits and pieces there, but he couldn’t get close enough on his own without spooking Ryan’s employer. No way was he going to put his lads at risk again, and Ryan’s little heart is like “Oh” thinking Gavin’s been using him this whole time. (Because yessss, I love that little trope.))

He promises to help Gavin, expecting that to be the last of him because he’ll have what he wants, so why would he want to stick around Ryan, right?

And then adventures in which they almost die a dozen times and manage to rescue Geoff and Jack and recover the Desert Rose - only for it to be lost down some bottlomless ravine or some such when Gavin saves Ryan from the his employer.

Both of them going their own way for a bit until Gavin shows up at Ryan’s door hoping to hire him to take Gavin and his bizarre family on an adventure in search of some treasure or other. (After a while and several countries later, Ryan finding that he likes Gavin’s weird little family more than he thought he would, he finally twigs to the fact that Gavin is indeed flirting outrageously with him. The others are like. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” because for God’s sake, Ryan, Gavin has not been subtle in the least, you moron.)

====

‘Golden Rust’ puts me in mind of a FAHC AU where Gavin ~betrays the crew.

Or that’s what it looks like from the outsider POV.

It starts small, someone sidling up to him and offering him everything he could want - money, power, whatever - and the Golden Boy, he’s a fickle creature, isn’t he?

A job goes wrong, they lose the new guy. Some weirdo in a cowboy hat and eye-searing colors. A week goes by and something goes wrong on a heist. Mogar’s explosives go off too early, and half a block of Los Santos goes with him.

The Fakes go quiet for a bit, regrouping, and then they’re back. Frantic, desperate, almost, because the cops and other bottom feeders in the city have been having a go at them. (No one notices they don’t gain any ground, that the Fakes fend them off just as easily as they ever did, they just try and try and try again, weakening themselves in the process.)

Through all this there’s reports of infighting in the main crew, or what’s left of it. Bugs and hidden cameras and operatives who’ve made it deep enough into the crew to see it for themselves.

The Golden Boy who goads the remaining crew members into an impossible heist with his eye on whatever reward he’s to gain when the Fakes are no more.

Gets the Kingpin and his second killed when the cops, ones who’ve been bought out by Fakehaus (tired of bowing down to the Fakes time and time again) catch them in a blockade just when they think they’ve pulled the heist off. Trapped, outnumbered, no answer over the comms and they die when their car goes over a bridge into the river below miles outside of Los Santos.

The crew limps along after that for a week, two, more, and then!

The Vagabond, Ramsey’s loyal attack dog finds out what the Golden Boy’s been doing. All his careful machinations that killed the crew off one by one, and there’s a call, a meeting in a quiet location just outside the city. Old safe house for the crew from their early days.

The Vagabond drives out there to where the Golden Boy is waiting along with the vipers whispers promises in his ears, and it’s a bloodbath, isn’t it.

Over a dozen bodies and the Golden Boy and the Vagabond among them, and that’s it for the Fakes - or should be, but there’s a new leader. Woman with fiery red hair and the charming and charismatic man at her side, quicksilver smile and a clever tongue.

Smile on his face as he slits your throat, and no one knows who the real danger is when they walk into a room. (Rumors say they’re the ones behind the deaths of the Fakes’ founding members, that it was an inside job and Fakehaus does get more territory and whatnot with the Fake AH Crew under new management, so maybe there’s some merit to those rumors after all.)

====

The truth of course, is the others were getting old. Slowing down and there’s only so long you can keep ahead of the bullets headed your way, dodge that knife. They wanted out, and in true Fake AH Crew fashion wanted a fitting end.

(Jeremy just went along with it, telling them he wanted to wreck some shit when really, he would have missed his stupid crew. Also, Lindsay and Trevor task him with making sure the others keep a low(ish) profile, forgetting who they’re asking this of.They regret it almost immediately, but by then it’s too late.)

So when someone approaches Gavin, try to sway him to his side, he gets an idea. Brings it to Geoff and the others and they hatch a scheme -

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, really? Why don’t we just fucking rob a bank and get into a shootout with the cops?”

“Boring, Michael. So very, very boring.”

So they create this plan, a way to take out some troublemakers and get that blaze of glory ending they’ve more than earned.

Lindsay and Trevor set them up in some ideal location, some beachside city/town where no one knows who the Fakes are, and end up with little beach houses next to one another -

”Goddammit, I thought I’d seen the last of you.”

“Michael, that’s mean, Michael.”

- and live out the rest of their days (more or less) quietly.

(No one’s really surprised when Ryan and Gavin get a cozy little house together, given the way they both went out - “That was some betrayed lover bullshit and you know it, Gavin. Way to be subtle.”)

Geoff and the others mercilessly ridicule Gavin when it turns out the actor who played him in the movie about them titled Golden Rust comes out had to wear a prosthesis because his actual nose wasn’t big enough.

The guy who plays Michael is using a New York accent - “What the fuck?”

For some inexplicable reason Jack’s a gorgeous redhead - “Well, at least they got the shirt right? Also, nice rack, Jack.”

Geoff’s guy is some overacting schmuck with awful fake tattoos and a freaking soul patch. - “Oh my God. Why?”

Jeremy’s dude is - “Holy shit. Is that Peter Dinklage?”

Ryan’s actor is some guy with shitty face paint and a dumb mask who puts weird emphasis on certain words and clearly has no idea how to hold a gun, and dear God - “All right, chill out, Ryan.”

Really, it’s a turd of a movie but they have regular viewings of it every year on the anniversary of Ryan and Gavin’s “deaths”.

(It never ceases to amuse them about the speculation that something happened between Gavin and Ryan to kick things off, that something happened to sour their bromance.)

They also make a point to watch whatever terrible made for tv movies get made, and there’s an actual party when they get a documentary. (Lindsay and Trevor and assorted others come to visit because it’s an occasion.)

(That tiny little beach town eventually becomes THE destination where Fakes and various allies head to after they retire, and the locals either never realize or figure it out and just don’t say anything because they’re just so nice.)

#miss-ingno #made-up fic title meme #fake ah crew #fahc #freewood #technically not a fic #:D????#jfc frankenstein post or what am i right?#/o\#prompt fills

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