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viridiave · 3 years

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NARUMITSU <ATTEMPTING TO READ THE SUBTEXT PLATONICALLY>

*Wrote all this some time last month so I might be off- really really off- also full disclosure I too am a Narumitsu shipper- this is just me giving myself a bad time doing the impossible and having fun XD

-I am going to fail sooner or later. Looking at you, Bridge to the Turnabout.

FIRST GAME >Turnabout Samurai -Yep. We're jumping right in with 'unnecessary feelings'. I'm going to be put on a stake for this. -This is going to become the main argument with any and all homoerotic subtext present in the first game- that it was unintentional. They didn't actively start making it gay until the second game, and even before then the producer for the games had to warn the development team not to try and insert these themes for fear of getting it wrong and lose the fanbase they'd accidentally caught the eye of. I can still create arguments for why this specific, hilariously meme-able line could be read romantically of course- but as far as the game development team at the time was concerned this interaction was never meant to be read as romantic. -Unease and uncertainty are... very valid feelings for Edgeworth to feel at this very moment and as much as I'd like to joke that he was feeling uncertain about his sexuality after seeing his childhood friend as an adult, this line was really just likely meant to lead up to the conclusion of Turnabout Goodbyes and Edgeworth's character arc for this game. His perfect win streak had just been shattered in a case prior. In this case, he was meant to persecute the lead actor of his favorite show- and in some ways his helping the defense can be taken as his biases getting the better of him. His sense of justice and his entire worldview is about to be overhauled, and I can see how he would regard this budding doubt in himself as an unnecessary (heh) distraction from what he believes is his true purpose in life.

>Turnabout Goodbyes -Edgeworth wanting to keep him away from DL-6 has its own section mostly because of how stubborn he becomes when it comes to Phoenix's insistence in particular. It's clear that this stubbornness is a front, I will concede with that- but there are merits to his initial reluctance in accepting Phoenix's defense. It's evident that Phoenix himself has grown over the course of the game so far, but in both of the times that he faced off against Edgeworth in court, his victories were... a tad bit contrived. For instance in Turnabout Sisters, Phoenix really only wins because Mia was being channeled and blackmailed White as he was about to leave the stand. Turnabout Samurai is a little better- but had him rely on quite a lot of coincidences (proven later to be substantiated) that surfaced during the trial. This is nothing to say of the deeper reason Edgeworth has over dissuading Phoenix from taking his case ("You in particular I cannot ask to do this.")- where I can make an argument for his pride and/or concern over Phoenix's career as an attorney. The stakes are relatively high here as well- if Phoenix fails, Edgeworth is incarcerated, Manfred von Karma goes free, DL-6 goes cold once again with no hope of getting re-opened, and everything that Phoenix has been working towards as an attorney would have been in vain. DL-6 is a case that has ruined many lives- it'd make sense if Edgeworth himself felt as though it would be a waste of time and effort to take this case because of how convinced he was of murdering his own father prior to Gourd Lake. He'd grown up for the past 15 years with a nightmare and a death sentence over his head- I wouldn't be surprised if he simply gave up and accepted that he was going to die at the hands of his prosecuting mentor. Even if he were acquitted for the murder of Robert Hammond, his perceived involvement in DL-6 would have thrown a wrench in his freedom- any lesser attorney would have given up on that. And this is unloaded BEFORE Phoenix tells him about the true reason as to why he became an attorney. -Phoenix's insistence to defend Edgeworth in this case can easily just be read as platonic- his complete, unfettered faith in Edgeworth's innocence is heavily influenced by that class trial, for better or for worse. While I'm perfectly happy to imagine that Phoenix's attachment to his idealized version of Edgeworth grew into something deeper sometime in the fifteen years that he hasn't seen him, I do believe that Phoenix in particular really is just that much of a sentimental person. This is to say nothing of his nature as a defense attorney- and what little time he's managed to spend with Mia has taught him that unbridled trust in his client is what gets him through the day, and he's putting it to practice here. Edgeworth was what he has been working towards the moment he decided he would practice law- as Phoenix at this point in time still believes that he could do no wrong despite seeing what Edgeworth is truly like in court. -Cutting into the meat of Phoenix and Edgeworth's shared past, I made a point earlier to say that Phoenix's perception of Edgeworth as a person is idealized. Every memory that Phoenix has had of Edgeworth prior to the events of the first game were from their childhood- and they had 4-8 months (plus one year if we're generous with the retconning some of the official art gave us) MAX to develop a friendship so strong that Phoenix makes major life decisions just to meet with this man. The fact that this time spent together was ENOUGH for Phoenix in the first place is... really hard to skirt around. To quote Dan from GameGrumps "this is something that you would only do for someone you're trying to marry" and if one of them was a woman I guarantee this ship would be canon already. But then again- since this is Phoenix Wright in particular somehow I can believe that he really is just that sentimental- and that isn't always a bad thing. He'd managed to save Edgeworth twice with this conviction after all. When Phoenix sees Edgeworth, he doesn't see a demon prosecutor, he sees his childhood friend who aimed to become a shining example of justice following in his father's footsteps. They address how shaky his foundations for becoming an attorney were in the Phoenix Wright Files once actually- going through a mini-existential crisis because he'd become an attorney with the main goal of saving Edgeworth from what he'd become, and now that he's accomplished that he's just kind of... lost. Edgeworth himself manages to pull him out of this, though. -man that hurts my case a lot actually but to be fair I was banking on failing -I just didn't expect it to happen so early even with the first game -in fact ESPECIALLY with the first game -though I cannot for the life of me wonder how I can come up with a heterosexual explanation for why the buildup towards Edgeworth telling Phoenix and Maya about his nightmares reads so much like a stunted love confession. I'm serious- just read any high school shojo manga ever. You'll find that it hits a lot of the same beats.

>Rise From The Ashes -It's in this case that we observe some of the consequences that the intial upheaval of Edgeworth's worldview in Turnabout Goodbyes causes him; distrust in the enforcement of the law. Not exactly the time for him to be dabbling in another, meme-able brand of unnecessary feelings. Several things like the Prosecutor's Office's relationship with the Police Department starts to waver with the murder of Bruce Goodman, and this becomes the final nail in the coffin for Edgeworth's worldviews and values as a prosecutor. His and Phoenix's teamwork in this trial becomes prevalent- the story behind the King of Prosecutors award represents this best despite it's currently incomplete state. The backstory behind this award paints an ideal of justice in the courtroom wherein the truth comes out as a result of the efforts of contradictory forces. A broken halberd that can cut through any shield (the prosecution) and a broken, unbreakable shield (the defense). Read as representation the text becomes something of a metaphor for the ideal justice that manifests itself in the best parts of Edgeworth and Phoenix respectively- the duality of their opposing professions rather than something that is limited to their relationship. -The same argument that I've used for Phoenix's unwavering belief in Edgeworth's innocence in Turnabout Goodbyes can be used for this case as well. -Though Edgeworth still goes M.I.A for a year after this case, it does grant his disappearance a bit more context as to why exactly it is that he left- and I'll be taking a tiny liberty with this and apply the interpretation that the Miles Edgeworth Files grants us, and that he left in order to better himself and grow as a person, a prosecutor, and as a friend to Phoenix Wright. It's... difficult for me to want to read this as anything but romantically-charged because the narrative beats are NOT lost on me (the dialogue makes this especially hard. send help.)- there's a possibility that Edgeworth at this point in time realizes the value in having a better, more functional dynamic with the one defense attorney who he considers a true equal in court. This dynamic will allow for less chances to encounter missteps and errors in any verdicts handed down in court, and if Edgeworth is to pursue his ideal of justice- Phoenix Wright is undoubtedly essential to this endeavor. The aftermath of Rise From The Ashes is indicative of this newfound goal of his- the symbolism behind the old King of Prosecutors award and the two halves of the evidence list certainly helps this case. -<"It seems all you do is worry about me." -Miles Edgeworth, Rise From The Ashes> For good fucking reason Edgeworth. You were accused of murder and have implicated yourself on the stand for DL-6 just a few months ago- and if the Investigations games are anything to go by, you're more of a danger magnet than PHOENIX is. I had to say it. The first Investigations game takes place over the course of 2-3 days and the sheer amount of shit that Edgeworth had to deal with in between that interval truly makes me wonder how Phoenix Wright ended up with the title of danger magnet. And THIS time- Edgeworth's car becomes a crime scene because his corrupt superiors needed a convenient way of transporting a corpse. There's VERY good reasons to worry about the livelihood of Miles Edgeworth. -Okay I... can't believe I forgot about the chessboard. Here's the kicker- the one we see from his office isn't even the only one he owns. I... legitimately cannot give you ANY purely heterosexual, platonic explanation for why Miles Edgeworth has THREE (THREE. I CANNOT OVERSTATE THIS. HE HAS T H R E E OF THESE FUCKING THINGS. GOOD GOD. HE CAN'T BE ANY MORE EXTRA.)(there exists a similar, portable set in the Investigations games- and he has a new set by the time of Dual Destinies) sets of custom-made chessboards with personalized, highly-specific red and blue designs made purely to depict his rivalry with Phoenix Wright. I fold. I give up. I forgot about the chessboards I wAS NOT EXPECTING TO FAIL THIS E A R LY- -You know what the real kicker is with Rise From the Ashes? The main argument that I have introduced back in Turnabout Samurai does not apply here. Rise From the Ashes was made as a DS-exclusive case and did not exist in the original GameBoy version of the Trilogy. Which means if there is homoerotic tension written in for this case (and there happens to be a lot. the chessboard is proof enough.), then we can safely assume that the writers at this point were well-aware. So yeah- maybe don't feel TOO bad about the unnecessary feelings line- because ever since then the writers have been playing off of that and it SHOWS. -Is there really a point to this I'm just- everything is stacked against me tryna interpret this platonically -Like I know I make a point to say that a romantic relationship isn't the end-all of all relationships because this franchise LOVES pushing the Found Family dynamic and I'm an absolute sucker for that -good god by the time Dual Destinies rolls around I'll probably just give up and happily say they're happily married -that's literally what they act like don't even pretend

#narumitsu #wrightworth #ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #phoenix wright #naruhodou ryuuichi #miles edgeworth #mitsurugi reiji #i'll probably write more once school blows over #so have the first game for now #trust me i tried #maybe i'm just not an anti-shipper and that's why i failed #uh feel free to set the comments on fire #but like civilly #we're all here to have fun okay #even if fun means shipping

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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FEATURE SERIES: My Favorite One Piece Arc with Daniel Barnes

I love One Piece and I love talking to people who love One Piece. And with the series going on 23 years now, there is a whole lot to talk about. As the series is about to publish its 1000th chapter, a true feat in and of itself, we thought we should reflect upon the high-seas adventure and sit down with some notable names in the One Piece fan community and chat about the arcs they found to be especially important, or just ones they really, really liked.

Welcome to the next article in the series "My Favorite One Piece Arc!"

My next guest in this series is Daniel Barnes, writer for the Aggretsuko comic, and his original graphic novel The Black Mage. For my chat with him, he chose the Marineford arc, in which Luffy drops into a World Government headquarters in a desperate race against time to save his "brother" Ace from execution.

A note on spoilers: If you haven't seen the Marineford arc yet, this interview does contain major plot points. Watch the Marineford arc starting RIGHT HERE if you'd like to catch up or rewatch!

Dan Dockery: Let’s say that for some reason, I get to the end of Impel Down, just before Luffy & Co. drop into Marineford, and I’m like “I’m done. This is it. I can’t handle any more One Piece.” In one sentence, what do you tell me to keep me going?

Daniel Barnes: Why are you stopping before you reach the payoff of everything you’ve read so far?

I like that! How long have you been into One Piece?

When I first started consuming One Piece in earnest, ironically enough, I was in the Navy at the time. It was 2014, and up until that point, my only exposure had been the 4Kids dub on FoxBox.

Nice. I love a good FoxBox reference. Was it recommended to you? Because I know that, when a lot of people start One Piece, it’s like “FINE. I’ll watch One Piece. You’ve convinced me.”

I don’t consume anime as voraciously as I did back then. Back then, I was an anime vacuum, but I was also in this weird spot where I was semi-depressed. But someone told me, “You gotta try One Piece, it’s the best.” And my first reaction was “Umm, the art style’s kinda weird, though.” But they told me “You’ll get over it,” and the thing that made me finally take that leap was Gurren Lagann, which also had an unusual art style and then became one of my favorite things ever. So I figured I should at least give it a shot.

That’s something I’ve heard a few times. Because in other big series like Naruto and Bleach, the character designs are much more proportionate and straightforward. And I felt the same way...until I watched it, and realized the art style is PERFECT for what it is. So, Marineford is pretty much the halfway point of the series, with characters returning from all over the place. Were there any that you were excited to see come back?

There’s a few of them. I always love it when Mihawk shows up, but I think the big one is Whitebeard. Because up until this point, he’s just sitting around and you know he’s a big deal but you’re always wondering why he’s a big deal. And then you find out in Marineford. I enjoy seeing characters that are kind of defined as the “power ceiling” in an anime universe get to do stuff, and it was cool to see him make the entire world quake.

I think I called it in an article a “Be Quiet, The Parents Are Talking” character. You’ll go through Luffy getting new power-ups and increasingly strong villains and these seemingly insurmountable admirals with their elemental powers and then Whitebeard comes in, and he’s leaps and bounds above everyone. And like you said, for the most part, he’s just sitting down beforehand.

Yeah, he’s sitting down drinking a giant gourd of sake. His name is Whitebeard, but he doesn’t have a beard. Got a real Hulk Hogan vibe to him. Who is this guy? But then you finally see him after all this time, and that’s the magic of One Piece. You see all of these things over the years and you wonder what part they’ll play and then it finally hits you and their role and strength becomes clear.

Marineford, obviously, is all built around Ace. And what you get out of the arc probably depends on how much you enjoy Ace’s character. How did you feel about him? Did it make you emotional at all? I know he has the one scene with Garp where they talk about finding your purpose in life, and that really got to me, even though I’m not the biggest fan of Ace.

Okay, I think Ace looks cool and I think he has good powers, but I didn’t really care that much when he died. I didn’t really know him enough.

Were there any characters that you did get attached to or like a lot in Marineford? I know you said you liked Whitebeard and Mihawk, but who was your Marineford MVP? Who shines brightest among all those crazy diamonds?

Okay, so the cop-out answer is probably Luffy. He’s one of the weakest characters there and he manages to survive and he plays such a big role by rallying everyone despite being constantly outmatched. So, objectively, Luffy. But maybe I give it to Coby, because Coby stands his ground against Akainu. He gives you hope that maybe the Marines can change their ways one day and when he refuses to move in front of an Admiral, I thought that was a real stand-out, awesome moment.

So Ace dies, Whitebeard just wrecks Akainu and throws him into a pit, and then, out of nowhere, Blackbeard shows up. Whitebeard beats up Blackbeard and Blackbeard’s forces kill Whitebeard. What do you think about Blackbeard as a villain? Because he’s so unlikeable. He’s underhanded, he whines whenever he gets hurt, he’s super pompous. He has cool powers, but there’s nothing cool about who he is.

He’s super interesting, to me. He has a mystery around him with his two Devil Fruit powers, and he doesn’t really fit into any shonen villain stereotype. He’s an inverse of Luffy, but not in all of the super obvious ways. When you first see him in Jaya, you see him start with basically nothing, and you watch him work through the system and the powers that be, just like Luffy. They’re both trying to achieve the same thing and reach the same goal. But Blackbeard’s methods are different.

Yeah, Luffy will punch you in the face, while Blackbeard will stab you in the back.

And getting to see that evolution is great, because they easily could’ve just said, boom, here’s the next big bad guy and given him to you without context. But it’s like I said about One Piece earlier, where it shows you stuff over time and gets you to look forward to what will happen with it later. That’s Blackbeard’s whole appeal.

You talked earlier about Coby standing up to Akainu, ready to die for his beliefs. And then Shanks comes and stops the war. How did you feel about that? Because we’re all still waiting to see what his deal is (which as you said is a big part of the continuing appeal of One Piece,) but were you hyped to see him show up?

I thought it was cool, because One Piece has done a good job of establishing him as an awesome guy. He’s a lot like Zero from Mega Man X, where he shows up at the beginning, they imply how powerful he is, they make the main character want to be as strong as him, and then they take him away and only show him sparingly. So whenever Shanks drops by, he's been handled so well that you’re just on the edge of your seat wondering what he’s gonna do.

So, after the war is over, Jimbei has to remind Luffy that he still has things worth fighting for. And then, the timeskip. Were you aware that a timeskip was coming?

Oh yeah. It’s kind of hard to exist on social media and not get a bunch of these little hints about what’s gonna happen. But that was my goal with One Piece for a little while: I’m gonna get to the timeskip. I have to get there. It’s coming, I know it’s coming, I don’t know when it’s coming, but I just have to reach it.

There are so many big moments in this arc, but looking back at it, are there any moments that stand out as prime One Piece to you?

The obvious one, for me, is when Luffy goes Third Gear and punches the giant out of the way. That’s so cool and such quintessential One Piece. A giant on an arena made of ice and a rubbery kid inflates his fist to make it huge and knocks him around. It’s so weird and it works.

ONE PIECE LIGHTNING ROUND!

Favorite One Piece character?

Usopp.

Favorite One Piece villain?

Crocodile.

Favorite One Piece arc?

Sabaody Archipelago.

Which Devil Fruit would you eat if you had the choice?

Bellamy’s Spring Spring fruit.

If you had to live on any island in the One Piece universe, which would you choose?

Does the Gran Tesoro from the Film: Gold movie count? That one’s pretty dope.

Favorite One Piece fight?

Luffy vs Blueno, when he first reveals the Second Gear.

One Piece moment that made you cry the hardest?

When the Franky Gang beats up Usopp and Nami finds him and Usopp is like “I’m useless. I can’t do anything.” Whenever Usopp gets beaten up, his nose gets all crooked and he loses teeth. There’s so many cartoon-ey visual indicators for Usopp in pain. It got me.

One Piece moment that made you cheer the loudest?

When Luffy punches the Celestial Dragon in the face. It’s so cathartic.

Stay tuned for the next installment of "My Favorite One Piece Arc" as we speak with One Piece Podcast Co-Host and storyboard artist Steve Yurko about his favorite One Piece arc: Baratie!!

Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.

By: Daniel Dockery

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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another-normal-anomaly · 5 years

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Housekeeping post

Occasionally you may see posts on this blog that make no fucking sense. They will usually, though not always, be deleted shortly afterward. I’m not out of my gourd (any more than usual)--I’m running an excessively high-context RP blog and occasionally reblogging things intended for it to my main.

#anomaly's two cents #anomaly's original posts #housekeeping post

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 4 years

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Iruma-kun 8 - 9 | BnHA 68 - 71 | NGL 8 - 9 | ID: Invaded Sneak Preview (i.e. eps 1 - 2)

Tw: suicide for ID: Invaded, by the way (it’s only briefly in the commentary, but it’s in ep 2). Plus, ID: Invaded gets its hashtag well before its debut.

Iruma-kun 8

“Lady Redhair”? I think Amelie’s hair is orange, but you do you, Clara.

I paused at the wrong time and saw Asmodeus had bug eyes behind his glasses.

Is that the vending machine Clara attacked her bullies with…?

I wonder what rank Amelie is…

Diabolical + botany = diabotany.

Come to think of it, the Azz-Azz/Iruma relationship is similar to the Gokudera/Tsuna relationship…

So as it turns out, Clara gets her juvenile tendencies from taking care of her younger siblings. Hmm…

Aw, it’s kinda disheartening to see Clara so down. It looks a lot like Zenitsu when he doesn’t see his own abilities, or something of the sort (which I always fall hook, lin and sinker for).

I wonder what Amelie’s seduction percentage is…?

Oh, you can see Succubus-sensei in the ED…hmm.

Update: where is Clara’s dad…? *gulps if he’s passed away*

Iruma-kun 9

Azz-kun is such a proud parent…even though he’s the same age as Iruma, LOL.

Lack of ambition? Clara just proved this wrong last episode and Sabro has his own ambitions…but then again, Azz-kun wasn’t privy to such knowledge.

“Fear 1” is a pun on ikkai (first floor). (At least, that’s what I can assume from context.)

There doesn’t actually seem to be a pun when Azz mentions Execution Cannonball (shokei gyokuhou)…which, I think, is weirder than having a pun in the first place. (The later joke is that Clara says gyouki instead of gyokuhou, which is pretty far off for part of it but completely spot on for the other , so the subbers put in a phrase that matched that kind of pattern in the English as well.)

Rumour has it there’s going to be an Iruma-kun dub. I wonder how they’ll make all the puns work…?

It’s-wahahaha! It’s just dodgeball!

Huh? A high-ranking demon? Sullivan? Opera?????

LOL, you can still see the tree sprouting from one of the rooms.

The Demonitor is handing Opera the dodgeballs, LOL!

I like Opera’s nails…they’re a nice shade of purple…

Ponytail Iruma…looks a bit strange, but I’ll get used to it. I like ponytails, y’know.

Even Azz-kun’s hands are big in comparison to Iruma…

That preview was far too abrupt!

BnHA 68

The giant moving crab is actually a thing. I went and saw it one time in Ginza and again on Dotonbori, Osaka. The crab is associated with Kani Doraku, a crab restaurant.

“Amajiki” literally means something like “eats the sky”. A good name for my good boi.

The subbers didn’t even finish the word “defence”! Eesh!

Amajiki likes butterflies…? I wonder, if he ate butter, could he be a butterfly too…?

Running All Might, I see…(it’s a parody of the Glico Running Man in Osaka.)

Basically, this is what Vigilantes was for! Woot!

I love how Kaminari charges people’s phones. That’s the sort of dumb thing heroes do with their powers, since you gotta remember they’re just young dumb boys at heart as well.

The problem with a hardening power is that it sounds lewd out of context…

I wonder what Fat Gum’s first job was…?

There’s a post-credits segment…keep watching.

BnHA 69

Centipeder has such a cute voice, albeit a distorted one.

Kirishima is voiced by Masuda, so it’s fun to hear him get such a prominent role again (after Charanko in OPM s2, Touken Ranbu and Boueibu, among other roles).

“Likes: All Might” – LOL, we knew that already though.

Nighteye is Seiya Ryuuguuin: Hero Version.

There’s a post-credits segment. Keep watching.

The manga calls the magical girl series “Preyure”, so it’s weird to suddenly have the dub refer to its dub name, “Glitter Force”.

BnHA 70

Midoriya doesn’t have any bedhead…because his hair’s already messy! LOL.

“…what’s important is what you do afterwards.”

“Maybe we can catch the League…and the Hassaikai all at once!” – Yeah…that’s not going to happen Kirishima, considering the series is still going.

Come to think of it, Eraser’s goggles are the only part of his outfit that don’t really match…no wonder the idea comes from somone else (maybe saying that is a spoiler for those only following the main series and not Vigilantes, though…?).

Swordfish will become important later on…you know Tamaki’s Quirk, so you’ll see when it’s important soon.

Another post-credits segment…keep watching.

BnHA 71

One of the reasons I like Amajiki is because of his intro. Now you can see why!

Hassaikai = Hassai Group, so calling the opponents the “Shie Hassaikai” and “Hassai Group” in the same translaton is inconsistent.

“…playing into their hands.” – You can’t say that when you don’t have hands, Tamaki…

No Guns Life 8

Well, there ain’t no metaphor like the blatant one – man is the deadliest weapon to himself…or something of the sort.

Geesh! I wanna dub for this!

Well…couldn’t Olivier light the cig and stick it in Juzo’s mouth…? Or is that not “sexy enough” for the target audience?

No Guns Life 9

I’ve noticed only the women have lip flaps now…LOL. (But maybe I’m stating the obvious because my head’s a bit fuzzy from lack of sleep…)

“Medico” appears to be the Spanish word for “doctor” (as you might be able to guess). Then again, what Spanish colonies are there in the world…? Spain, sure, and South America…*googles* Basically all of South America, dangit.

Context says “madre” = mother.

Context also says “mentira” = lie, or “you’re lying!”.

Geesh, that cup size joke was such a non-sequitur that I didn’t even find it funny…

Geesh! This Colt dude is basically Sabro (from Iruma-kun)! Update: He also looks like he came straight outta JJBA.

ID: Invaded 1 – 2 (SNEAK PREVIEW!)

I thought I wouldn’t be able to access the preview, but by accessing Funimation’s videos…I can watch it!

Ohmygloooooooob, this “I’m in pieces, but I’m connected” concept is so cool! (But also hella freaky, which is exactly my style!...You do know that I’m a bit of a freak for body horror, right?)

You…probably shouldn’t be yelling at the person if they appear to be dead(!)

This would make an awesome escape game, no…?

I never knew the future looked so similar to the present.

Ooh, this gets more and more interesting! There are people watching this murder mystery.

Whose ID Well is this…? If it’s Sakaido’s, then maybe he can find out more about himself through the celebs.

The code appears to be from the Windows operting system, since C: is the default hard drive. So I’d say it might be Windows Visual Basic, actually, or C (the programming language).

Hmm…maybe that’s when the episode ws being produced.

Okay, so how I’m understanding this is that Sakaido is in the world of the murderer (of Kaeru’s) mind and he has to find her murderer to get out.

Ooh, so Sakaido is also a murderer…and as it turns out, Sakaido’s perp drills holes in the heads of their victims…scary. What I was really here to say was that this reminds me of a movie called Minority Report.

I think one of the victims had part of his head missing in the ID Well, so maybe Sakaido’s missing an elbow in real life…?

The joke is that the word for “well” in Japanese is i (井) or ido (井戸) and then ID, of course, is ID and likewise id is id (but it’s ido in Japanese). Googling ID: Invaded reveals Sakaido is written with this same kanji, plus two others (酒井戸), meaning his name is part of the wordplay too.

It’s like Minecraft, except you make the world with your entire body…LOL.

Maybe that’s (takoya) short for “takoyaki”…? Just a guess. Update: I’m right.

The licence plates say “Shinagawa”. This show takes place in Shinagawa (or the car I read the plate of was obtained in Shinagawa)!

Huh? How did Hondomachi get into the well? Do they have a drive to kill as well????

These quotes have gotta mean something, so here’s the first one: “Is it ridiculous to believe that I have been given a certain role to play for this present world?”

What’s up with the numbers in the room Matsuoka is in…? (Apparently a terrible day volunteering is enough to put me on edge and subsequently make me a master detective, it seems.)

I went back to my old Honeyfeed stories recently and I rediscovered a character that I wrote about a few years ago – Yuki, after the matching character I axed from my original plot of Half-Paid Heroes (because the story I’m referring to is the Honeyfeed version of HPH) – who was partially close-shaven like Fukuda. I gave Yuki such a character design just to set up intrigue, but I didn’t think I’d ever see a similar design to it, ever. Now, here I am.

Narihisago? What a name! I checked what “hisago” means and apparently it means “gourd”.

Is this Kaeru (the one that committed suicide), perhaps, the one in Hondomachi’s head and that’s not actually the case…?

The CGI’s a bit awkward in this show.

Is “Muku” Sakaido/Narihisago’s daughter…?

I think the old guy – the head of the cop team – uses a Mac, based on his GUI.

New quote: “Wind comes in this hole and out the other, and it makes the world a little bit clearer.” This reveals the quotes are actually from the episode.

This music which acts as the ED is nice. I’m basically sold on this show, y’know.

The original work is by “The Detectives United”. I wonder what that means…?

#simulcast commentary #ID: Invaded #no guns life #boku no hero academia #My Hero Academia #mairimashita! iruma-kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #chesarka watches mi-k #Chesarka watches NGL #Chesarka watches BnHA #Chesarka watches ID: Invaded

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lokilickedme · 5 years

Text

Part 3 of Read By Loki Laufeyson - Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own (no longer available there)

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Loki - Fandom, Loki (Marvel) - Fandom, The Avengers (MarvelMovies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom

Relationship: Loki/His Book, Ana/Christian

Character: Loki, Loki Laufeyson, Loki (Marvel), Ana Steele, Christian Grey

Additional Tags: Explicit Language, this book deserves its own warning tag, one that says DON'T READ ME, Explicit Sexual Content, lame and exceedingly silly descriptions of sex acts

Series: Part 3 of Read by Loki Laufeyson

Stats: Originally Published 2016-02-27 Words: 3386 (original version)

Part One: The Night Manager

Part Two: High Rise

50 Shades of Grey, Read By Loki Laufeyson by lokilickedme

Summary: Loki reads 50 Shades and throws up multiple times. I would offer my apologies to E.L. James, but she doesn't deserve it.

Notes: See the end of the work for notes

This shitshow gets on the shaky road with a dedication that made the right side of my face twitch before the story even got started. It's dedicated to "the master of my universe" and as of right this very moment I'm ready to preemptively toss it into the bathroom, not as reading material for my next luxury soak, but as a replacement for the empty roll of toilet paper that I keep forgetting to run to the store for. Fuck me people, she didn't even capitalize "master" and ANY GOOD SUB KNOWS THAT NOT CAPITALIZING MASTER IS A MASSIVE SHOW OF DISRESPECT AND YOU DESERVE THE ASS BEATING YOU GET FOR IT - WITH ZERO AFTERCARE. Don't ask me how I know that, but go ahead and fight me, this is a hill I’m willing to die on. If this person is writing a book that's touted as an even remotely accurate accounting of a Dom/sub relationship, I can tell you right now, she doesn't know jack shit.

So I've read a couple of pages and I'm already looking around for my seizure meds when I realize I don't take seizure meds. I will after this, I might as well go ahead and call it in. I'm to the part about Wanda the Volkswagon when my anticipatory boner not only goes away, but retracts so far up into my scrotum as a result of the most horrendous writing I've seen this side of Thor's second grade book report on Anne of Green Gables that I'm thinking I might just be female now. I mean seriously? This hurts. I’m not even exaggerating, if you have a penis it’s going to draw up into your gall bladder. If you have a vulva it’s going to need a vat of Burt’s Bees Extra Moisture Replenishing Salve and a bottle of cranberry capsules. I’m not even female at the moment and this thing gave me a flaming UTI.

I’m not sure Wanda, my old VW Beetle, would make the journey in time. Oh, the Merc is a fun drive, and the miles slip away as I floor the pedal to the metal.

People, this is a published book. Someone got paid for this. It got made into a movie. I haven't even gotten to the sex yet and I'm already Google mapping monasteries within a one-hundred mile radius because I'm ready to take my vows. No, this book hasn't made me believe in a higher power. It has taken away my will to ever get laid again.

The elevator whisks me with terminal velocity to the twentieth floor.

Holy fucking shitballs people, terminal velocity by its very definition means someone is going to die. Is this person wearing a pressurized speed suit? Do they hand them to you at the door before you go into the elevator? How does the building tolerate the mechanics of generating that kind of speed? And if by some random blessing by some random god who won't be getting any thanks from me she actually survived this trip to the twentieth floor, her brains would be leaking out her asshole. That's not the way to make a good first impression, sweetheart. Take the fucking stairs next time.

It’s a stunning vista, and I’m momentarily paralyzed by the view. Wow.

Yes, wow. Paralysis is rarely ever momentary darling, and it does ugly things to pretty girls. Like, rendering you a jelly-like heap on the floor because your muscles don't continue working while you're paralyzed. Paralysis sort of means your muscles have stopped working.

I've begun highlighting every word I come across that the author obviously doesn't know the definition to. Fake it till you make it, right darling? Five pages in and my yellow pen has died a violent death.

I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet, and falling head first into the office. Double crap – me and my two left feet!

YOU.

HAVE.

GOT.

TO.

BE.

FUCKING.

KIDDING.

ME.

In what universe is this ridiculous cutesy sort of shit thought to be amusing? The cliches are giving me hemorrhoids. Me and my two left feet? Not that I'm an expert on Earth terminology and phrasing, but I'm fairly certain people stopped saying shit like that around 1962. And...I can't believe I'm being forced to say this, but - double crap?? I was already calling my brother a bilgesnipe’s vagina by the time I could crawl, I'm pretty sure the last time I said something as immature and amateurishly silly as double crap I was still in the womb and cursing in Morse Code. I may actually have even still been a sperm in my father's left testicle. How old is this writer?

“Um. Actually–” I mutter. If this guy is over thirty then I’m a monkey’s uncle. In a daze, I place my hand in his and we shake. As our fingers touch, I feel an odd exhilarating shiver run through me. I withdraw my hand hastily, embarrassed. Must be static. I blink rapidly, my eyelids matching my heart rate.

I'm sorry but I really don't even know where to start. The Um. Actually- ? Or the I'm a monkey's uncle? Maybe it's the staccato pacing? The elementary school sentence structure? The fact that all but one sentence of that paragraph has the word I in it, sometimes multiple times? She placed her hand in his and they shook - sort of like I'm shaking right now. It's the seizures this damn travesty has provoked, honestly I should sue the author for my prescription costs. And if that girl's eyelids matched her heart rate then I'm just envisioning one of those blinky-eyed cupie dolls strapped to a paint mixing machine.

“I own my company. I don’t have to answer to a board.” He raises an eyebrow at me. I flush.

Yes darling, always do a courtesy flush when the stench is really vomit-inducing. Like now. I'm not even going to ask if this conversation is taking place in a bathroom because I can tell you honestly, the bathroom is right where it belongs.

His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel...or something.

Something...like, maybe shit, perhaps?

I shake my head to gather my wits. My heart is pounding a frantic tattoo -

No darling, trust me, it's not. A tattoo is something you draw on your body, there's no pounding involved unless you've done the drawing on your vagina. And if you’re referring to the drum beat, then you should just say so because frankly this is meant to be a sex book and your readers aren’t going to be interested in Googling your sophomoric attempts at using interesting words. And just as an aside, most humans are going to think of a Scottish marching band when you use that word in that context, and the last thing you want your readers thinking about while you’re sliding into a smut scene is men in plaid skirts blowing bagpipes.

I am utterly thrown by the sight of him standing before me. My memories of him did not do him justice. He’s not merely good-looking – he’s the epitome of male beauty, breathtaking -

Hold on a second, I wasn't aware I was in this book? I must have been drunk. I'm not sure that I would consent to this idiocy even if I was soused off my gourd, so I think I'm going to be filing a second lawsuit for character theft.

- and he’s here. Here in Clayton’s Hardware Store. Go figure.

Yes, go figure sweetiepie. Everybody, even handsome people, need replacement U-joints for their toilets. They come in handy when you're trying to flush books.

Finally my cognitive functions are restored and reconnected with the rest of my body.

Honey, cognitive functions aren't a part of your body, they're a part of your brain. So unless your head fell off while you were walking around in Clayton's Hardware Store, I doubt this happened. If it did, my condolences to Mr Clayton and the other shoppers, I know how traumatic that can be.

And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain –

You mean the whole thing?

- probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata where my subconscious dwells – comes the thought: He’s here to see you.

I just had another seizure. It’s a sex book darling, stop trying to use seventy-five cent Merriam Webster words and settle for something along the lines of My fucking head exploded - trust me, at this point your readers will relate to that far more than to the concept of subconscious thought. Or any thought at all. And we all know it’s highly unlikely Miss Double Crap Wanda-driving headless-in-Clayton’s-Hardware store is capable of coming up with a term like medulla oblongata after that terminal velocity elevator ride.

No way! I dismiss it immediately. Why would this beautiful, powerful, urbane man want to see me? The idea is preposterous, and I kick it out of my head.

And now your head is completely empty, much like the author's, because that poorly constructed series of sentences was all that was rattling around in there.

For the sake of moving this along, because I have something to say about literally every fucking sentence in this roll of rough-ass toilet paper, I'm going to skip to the first round of sex and see if anything improves. Because that's what people do when things aren't going well, isn't it? They have sex and see if it gets better? And then if it doesn't, you kick them out and finish up with a fresh pack of batteries and a few minutes of Skinamax and when you wake up in the morning it'll be a whole new day, sunshine. Because honestly, I just got to the part where her cheeks went the color of the Communist Manifesto and if I don't get to some penis and vagina action I'm going to kill myself. Besides that, all this double crap inner monologue is starting to make my ballsack clench up.

So alright people, I've got my lube and my right hand ready, let's get this party started shall we?

"Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?” Holy shit. Did I just say that?

Well it certainly wasn't me. Having medulla oblongata issues again, are we sweetheart?

His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly. “No, Anastasia it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love. I fuck... hard."

Finally, someone steps up. Is that the sound of zippers headed south I hear?

"Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.”

Nope, my mistake. Zippers firmly holding north. How far is this fellow going to count? Do people actually do that cheesy little “Firstly, secondly” speech tic all the way up to thirdly? I usually only get to secondly before someone pops me in the mouth. Somehow I have no trouble envisioning this obviously anal retentive Christian fellow proceeding right along to fourthly, fifthly, sixthly, seventhly...perhaps he has a numbers fetish to go along with that paperwork obsession of his. If this is foreplay I'm leaving because math was never my strong point and I’ll be damned if I’m going to relive the hell of ninth grade just to get a two page smut scene. If you want to have sex with me we get to firstly, I point to my zipper, and the game is on. But he does get points for being forthright enough to come right out up front with the admission that he's such a rough fucker there have to be contracts involved. Kudos my man. Too bad he wrecked it by planting that playroom visual immediately after, because now all I can think about is a toybox full of Legos and a plastic xylophone. Even I can't make anything kinky out of that.

My mouth drops open. Fuck hard! Holy shit, that sounds so... hot. But why are we looking at a playroom? I am mystified. “You want to play on your Xbox?”

Yes darling, Fuck hard! It sounds like a Bruce Willis movie, only this time he's not in an office building crawling through the ceiling or on an airplane fighting off terrorists, he's tied to a bed while Bonnie Bedelia drips hot wax on his scrotes. It's a real shame we lost Alan Rickman, I'd give anything to see Hans Gruber standing at the foot of the bed in a leather corset intoning Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker just one more time.

As for playing on his Xbox, the Sims have a "whoo hoo" function. That's all I'm going to say about that.

- it feels like I’ve time-traveled back to the sixteenth century and the Spanish Inquisition. Holy fuck.

Ah yes, the good old days of the Inquisition. I had quite a wonderful time during that era, it was a sado-masochistic wet dream. And no, I wasn't an Inquisitor...I worked as a volunteer equipment tester for the Vatican. There wasn't a steel spiked ball cage or 360-degree nipple twister that earned my seal of approval until I screamed for my mommy. Something tells me this pansy-ass little ninny isn't going to make it past the electroshock vulva clamps before she's crying for every matriarchal figure in her family all the way back to the Charlemagne era.

“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joy – it’s a very simple equation.” “Okay, and what do I get out of this?” He shrugs and looks almost apologetic. “Me,” he says simply.

Um...no. Just no. Unequivocally NO. That isn't how it works, E.L. James. Not in the slightest. In a true Dom/sub relationship the submissive receives every bit as much as the Dominant, and there is no two ways around that. Anything less is bullshit and whoever you're trying to force-feed this lie to should leave running and punch you in the crotch on the way out. I sincerely hope anyone reading this nonsense is doing so on a dare and not because they want to learn about D/s dynamics, because you're obviously not going to learn anything from this book except how to be a lip-biting ningnong who doesn't do much more than chat merrily with herself inside her medulla oblongata while mentally spouting double crap! on repeat every thirty-seven seconds. And any respect I had for this Grey fellow for being up front about his sexual preferences just went out the window, which coincidentally is where the lip-biting ningnong should be headed. Like he said - you could still run for the hills.

Skipping ahead...skipping ahead...my god are these idiots ever going to do it? I'm on page 194 and so far the closest they've come to coitus is when he almost ejaculated in his pants in an apoplectic rage when she told him she was a virgin.

“Ah,” I groan.

Ack, I puke.

“You smell so good,” he murmurs and closes his eyes, a look of pure pleasure on his face, and I practically convulse. He reaches up and tugs the duvet off the bed, then pushes me gently so I fall on to the mattress.

I'm practically convulsing too darling, but unfortunately not with pleasure. I need more anti-seizure meds, I've already gone through the entire bottle. I'll be starting on the Xanax next and then it’s another call to my HMO.

I’m panting... wanting.

I'm vomiting...heaving.

Not taking his eyes off mine, again he runs his tongue along my instep and then his teeth. Shit. I groan... how can I feel this, there?

Hold up a second - this is a man who is so persnickety he pulls the duvet off the bed before he lets her set her ass on it, but now less than a page later he's just removed her sneaker and is licking the bottom of her sweaty all-day Converse encased foot? My capacity for suspension of disbelief is not only wavering at this point, it’s pretty much died a slow and painful death. Which is what I feel like I’m doing. And if a man is holding eye contact while licking the bottom of your foot, he’s either upside down or your leg is so high up in the air he could be looking up your hooch and seeing himself through your left nostril.

“How do you make yourself come? I want to see.” I shake my head. “I don’t,” I mumble.

I call bullshit. She’s twenty-one, a virgin, and has never diddled herself? That’s about as likely as me never having had intercourse with a horse.

“Let go, baby,” he murmurs. His teeth close around my nipple, and his thumb and finger pull hard, and I fall apart in his hands, my body convulsing and shattering into a thousand pieces.

Huh. And here all this time I’ve been laboring under the delusion that more was required than just two short paragraphs worth of nipple play. This girl is a physical wonder, her nipples are clitorises. Clitori? Clitterati? However you say multiple clits. I know playing with them feels nice and I’ve made more than one maiden squirm with a few well placed sucks and a pinch or two, but this girl was climaxing before he even got her out of her brassiere. Someone get her a job at the Kinsey Institute.

Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor.

I hope they didn’t land on the duvet, he went to such trouble to keep it from getting mussed.

Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow...

Rather like a jack-in-the-box, I’m envisioning. Holy cow indeed. Twist the handle and Pop Goes The Weasel plays while you wait in panicked anticipation for that horrid little clown to burst out of the hinged metal box and scare the shit out of you. Well, he did say playroom, didn’t he. Oh, and boxers and briefs are two entirely different things, my dear. The further we get into this silly little tale the more convincing my sneaking suspicion that the author has never actually met a man before.

“I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele” he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex.

I’m sorry, I know I’m an adult and all but I’m giggling like a sixth grade girl that wandered into the wrong locker room at school. And for the record, I know exactly what that sounds like because I’ve done it. But this...this is just...holy fucking hell with twice the fire and ten times the brimstone, that sentence up there just chemically castrated me. The head of his erection at the entrance of her sex. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume it means he put his cock on her pussy and we’ll call it fair and move along.

“Hard, he whispers, and he slams into me. “Aargh!” I cry -

To quote Miss Steele, holy fuck! His dick is so big it’s turned her into a pirate!

He speeds up. I moan, and he pounds on, picking up speed, merciless, a relentless rhythm, and I keep up, meeting his thrusts.

Is anyone else envisioning these two jogging through the park playing bongos? Just me? Okay. Oh and for future reference, because I assume this world isn’t lucky enough to escape at least three sequels to this travesty, no sentence should have as many commas as it has words unless the person speaking it is being punched in the mouth between each syllable.

Two orgasms...coming apart at the seams, like the spin cycle on a washing machine, wow.

Darling if the spin cycle on my washing machine made anything come apart at the seams I’d be at Home Depot demanding they make good on the warranty. Which, something tells me, you should be doing with this new man of yours.

He increases the rhythm infinitesimally, and his breathing becomes more erratic. My insides start quickening, and Christian picks up the rhythm.

I looked up infinitesimally, mainly because I’ve never actually seen it in print before and it’s such a strange looking word. I laughed so hard my Xanax came out my nose when Google offered up this definition: immeasurably small, exceedingly little, less than an assignable quantity. To give it a meaning, it must usually be compared to another infinitesimal object in the same context. Mr Grey, I do believe your tight coochied little virgin just called your dick tiny.

“You. Are. Mine. Come for me, baby,” he growls. His words are my undoing, tipping me over the precipice. My body convulses around him, the precipice. My body convulses around him, and I come, loudly calling out a garbled version of his name into the mattress.

Well damn, I have to say I’m impressed, both with the uncanny power this fellow’s voice has to make orgasms happen from out of thin air, as well as this girl’s ability to climax on demand after never having done so in her entire life previous to this encounter. That’s three times now she’s “shattered into a million pieces” all over the fucking bed - thank god he had the presence of mind to toss the duvet on the floor, because those stains would never come out. He’d probably be getting a visit from the local police as soon as Mrs Fratelli at the dry cleaners got a good look at it. And I don’t know about anyone else but I really want to hear this “garbled version” of his name that she called out into the mattress. No, really. I want to hear it because I’m imagining something like what went down in the Caves of Caerbannog when the Knights were debating the pronunciation of the last word written on the wall. Does that make Ana’s orgasms the sexual equivalent of the Black Beast of Argh?

I’ll wait for you to hit Google on that one. Go ahead, I’ll wait. I’ve got all the time in the world. I still have six hours of studio time booked and this travesty of a novel is now residing in stall #2 in the mens room and I’m sitting here playing with the roll of toilet paper I stole. It was a worthwhile trade. The word Charmin printed four million times on these little squares in infinitely more intellectually stimulating than that undigested goat’s dinner we were reading.

Fifty shades of TP’ing E.L. James’s house, anyone?

End Notes: All passages in italics are the property of E.L. James, and as far as I’m concerned she can keep them.

#Loki Reads #50 Shades of Grey

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axiomsofice · 3 years

Text

Kraken: A New Threat Rises

The much anticipated Seattle Expansion Draft was not quite what anyone expected, and until they take the ice we can do nothing but speculate how this team might perform. One thing is for certain, Seattle’s approach to the onslaught of transactions was far closer to GM Francis’ Hurricanes than to Vegas’ previous expansion, in terms of strategy and vision.

It is under this context we can start to assess the main strengths and themes of the inaugural Kraken outfit, and immediately one commitment stands out, defence. A hallmark of Francis’ aforementioned Hurricanes tenure, this was clearly a focal point in choosing a coaching staff. Coach Hakstol’s track record is quite strong at this moment of time. His work with the Flyers is ageing well, and as an Assistant with the Leafs the team’s defence transformed from weak to strong. Ultimately, where it matters most is on the ice, where the roster is consistent with their Coach and GM in said defensive ability.

Right away the blueline should be among the top third of the league as it boasts a very deep group that has some star power as well. Giordano and Larsson are established defenders, so we know they will deliver quality minutes. Oleksiak signed a big deal with the team, and well deserved. Even though he’s the same age as Larsson, he’s continued to get better every year. If that trend continues at all the rest of the league is in trouble. Vince Dunn had a tough final season in St. Louis, but he’s shown he can play enough in his young career that many have called him Seattle’s Shea Theodore, which might be a bit bullish, but he certainly is around the same age and coming from a similar situation. With the three mentioned prior with him he will not be overextended, and in fact between the four their skillsets do seem to cover a lot of bases.

Beyond that Carson Soucy projects for 3rd pair minutes, a role he excelled at in Minnesota. Jeremy Lauzon was one of my easiest choices in my own Seattle Expansion mock, coming from an important role on the Bruins. He’s fast, physical, and aggressive, and Boston is definitely not thrilled to have lost him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he found his way further up the lineup at some point. This is already 6 good NHL caliber defenders and we haven’t even touched on the brothers Fleury (Haydn, Cale), Will Borgen, Denis Cholowski, and Conor Carrick, who would all be fighting for time on any NHL team. Without a doubt the Kraken have the tools to ice a very strong defence group.

However, this defensive philosophy is present throughout the forward group as well, it takes every player on the ice after all. Yes, looking through their forwards one might try to wonder who will score for the Kraken, it does lack the name brand excitement retrofitted to the Inaugural Vegas team, but they are both defensively strong and deep, and they most definitely will not cheat you for effort. Perhaps the perfect player to encapsulate these characteristics is Colin Blackwell, and if you’re wondering who that is, that is exactly what I mean. He played his way onto a Nashville team two years ago, played well enough to sign with the Rangers, played his way onto Panarin’s line (to the dismay of those who wanted Kakko or Lafrenire to get minutes there) and played so well Panarin is rumoured to have asked to keep Blackwell on his line. As Babcock famously said of Hyman, “the stars like to play with someone to get the puck back”, Blackwell has thrived on doing the dirty work.

And he’s not alone. We saw Yanni Gourde play a huge role on the Lightning’s 2nd most important line (sorry Stamkos) in back to back cups, forming a legendary checking line with Coleman and Goodrow. In 2021 I learned both Tanev brothers are severely underrated, so Brandon will be a lot more than a pretty face once the season starts. Finally both Wennberg and Jarnkrok are really well rounded, defensively responsible, and physical players. Throw in Mason Appleton and that’s 6 really intense forwards to start with. Particularly Gourde and less so Wennberg have a bit more offence, but all 6 could chip in 10+ goals in a full season as well, which starts to add up as we go through the lineup.

Schwartz is a strong signing, a bona fide top 6 winger does a lot considering the rest of the roster, but Schwartz has posted strong defensive numbers with the Blues throughout his career. Eberle adds a splash of offensive flavour that is needed. Donskoi is a good middle 6 forward but if you aren’t familiar with his work, the guy’s got mad dangles. McCann has had a tumultuous carrer path thus far, but he’s coming off a strong year with Pittsburgh, and he might be one of the best power play options on this team. He was on pace for 25+ goals last year and could easily equal that pace again in his 25 year old season. This quartet should be the offensive catalysts of the team, and if they could all get 15+ goals it would put the team in a good spot to be successful.

The two biggest x factors, especially when it comes to Seattle’s goal scoring potential, lie with Morgan Geekie and Alexander True. Both have proved to be strong offensive players in the AHL and are ready to be full time NHLers. Both have positional flexibility as well, and if they can both play well enough to take a hold of a role in the top 9 forwards this team would be so much better for it.

All this attention to detail in terms of preventing goals against will make the netminders’ jobs that much easier. Grubauer’s played really well on strong teams, but has been a bit injury prone, so his contract does remind me of the Leafs signing Andersen 5 years ago. The injury history, as well as the continuing trend of tandem situations in net, justify the overqualified Drieger. Joey D’Accord is a good 3 as well, regardless virtually everything would have to go wrong for this group to underperform.

It’s for these reasons that it’s hard to imagine Seattle being that bad of a team this year, and as everyone chuckles at the on-paper strength of the Pacific Division, it’s not out of the question that they make the playoffs. It’s getting ahead of myself, but they seem rough and tumble enough to do really well in the playoffs as well, and if they finish 3rd they’ll probably play Edmonton in the 1st round…

As we go forward it will be interesting to see how their treasure trove of cap space is utilised, and most likely they might be waiting to see how they perform before deciding how to use it to their advantage. It’s easy to see how adding a talented but expensive played might not cost a lot, and simultaneously vastly improve the quality of the team. Tarasenko is one that’s been speculated, and honestly I think that would take them into a legitimately good team tier.

The final, and perhaps most important point of their offseason is the acquisition of Matthew Beniers. I’m not sure they will have a shot of selecting so high in the near future, and to be able to grab a great centre prospect, especially considering how scarce that opportunity is for even an expansion team (ahem, VGK), and the strengths and weaknesses of their roster, it bodes so well for the future of the Kraken beyond 2022. Many said he is a good defensive centre, a good support player, a good transition player, some Larkin and Bergeron (stylistic) comparisons, and it's easy to see how that would fit in so nicely whenever he makes the jump (my guess is spring 2022, after NCAA season).

#seattle kraken

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drealyn22 · 7 years

Note

Your analysis of the Samurai Champloo cast and their names was very interesting! But what do you think the symbolism of the red bird in Mugen's spiritual world and the end of the anime was? Is the fuukinchou theory really a complete debunk?

Hi there!

Sorry for my late reply. I had to think about this one a little bit.

My personal belief is that the fuukinchou theory is fully disproved. I see it as complete nonsense. Unfortunately it’s on Wikipedia and every other site that uses it as a source, but Wikipedia does not list a source of its own. Without a citation that points to the original, there’s no way to verify the information. I searched high and low, and could not find anything to validate this theory. That, combined with my own research, leads me to believe that the fuukinchou theory has no basis in fact. I’m confident that whoever came up with it either thought it sounded awesome and rushed to propagate the idea without fact-checking, or they’re privy to more detailed information than I’ve found in my research. If that information exists, I’d really like to see it. Especially if it’s an interview with Word of God. But until then, I’m standing firm: Fuu is not short for fuukinchou, and the red bird in the series is not a tanager.

Could the bird still be symbolic in some way? This is where I had to do some thinking. I’ve never found it to be particularly significant, but since you asked about it, I started looking at it in a broader context. I had a debate with myself, playing my own devil’s advocate, and I came up with a new theory about Mugen’s character–although I think it’s a stretch.

Here it is:

Birds are an ongoing theme for Mugen. They appear to him every time he’s near death or occasionally at other significant times in his life.

I can’t possibly be the only one who’s thought of this, but I haven’t seen it anywhere else online.

I lent my copy of Samurai Champloo to a friend several months ago, so I didn’t have a chance to skim through the series for examples. The ones listed below are from memory.

In the series’ opening credits, Mugen is represented by a rooster.

Birds appear multiple times in Misguided Miscreants, the two-part episode that explores Mugen’s backstory.

In his memories/flashbacks/whatever, there are crows eating away at a carcass on a beach. When they fly away, black feathers fall onto a skull. It’s definitely a symbol of death, and maybe more – violence and loneliness.

Mugen is drowning, and in his visions of death, when he falls through the bottom of the ocean, the splashes of water transform into white birds (doves maybe?) and fly away into an inverted sky.

And of course, there’s our friend, the little red bird. Mugen is injured and exhausted as he stumbles along a path in a forest. He looks like he’s ready to die. Between heavy eyelids, he sees a red bird looking down at him, right before he passed out.

Also–this is not directly tied to Mugen, but it’s in there–Jin notices birds circling a local shrine, and it’s implied that that’s where Mukuro’s gang may have dumped the bodies from the seemingly deserted village.

Birds appear in the last episode of the series as well.

Mugen is again having visions as he’s near death. The crows encircle him and start to carry his body away into the spiritual world. When he hears Fuu’s voice, they release him and fly away.

And again, the little red bird appears in the end credits. It watches Mugen for a few moments and then flies away. He doesn’t seem to be aware of it like he was the first time.

Now, I have to point out that some fans refer to the Paantu, the spiritual beings in Mugen’s visions when he’s near death, as the “crow men.” I don’t want anyone who’s reading my little theory here to think that the “crow men” are part of it. They’re not. The Paantu are not bird men. They aren’t covered with feathers; they’re covered in leaves and mud. (And if you go to the Paantu Festival on Miyako-jima, they’ll cover you in mud too.)

Back to the theory.

Colors are interesting here. When Mugen sees the white birds, he is given a choice between life and death… actually the choice isn’t really offered to him; he demands it. He says he’s not ready to go yet. Then the Paantu disappear, he falls back into the ocean, and he ultimately survives the ordeal after Fuu finds him and cares for him.

The black birds appear twice and are clearly tied to death both times. The first time is when they’re pecking at the human skull, and the second time is when Mugen is dying in the last episode.

I like to think that their first appearance symbolizes what Mugen’s future would have been if he’d died instead of being saved by Koza, or if he’d stayed on the path of piracy instead of fleeing to Japan. He would have become an anonymous corpse, picked apart and left to rot, a tragic victim of his own violent lifestyle.

When the black birds return later in the series, Mugen is resigned to his fate. He doesn’t ask for a choice to live or die. This time it’s Fuu who demands that he come back. In this case, I think Mugen is allowed to live because his actions have redeemed him. When Fuu cries for him, in a way she’s testifying on his behalf. His life is valuable to her, and that means he has inherent self-worth.

Now for the red bird. It’s a vibrant color, and it’s the only bird that actually appears in real life. It’s not just a vision or fantasy or spiritual experience like the black or white birds. (”Not an illusion?” Hmm…) At the time when Mugen sees it, he appears to be somewhere between life and death. He’s delirious. He hasn’t traveled into the spiritual world yet, but things definitely aren’t looking good for him.

It’s not clear why the red bird is there. Does it represent a major turning point? Is it because Mugen is between life and death? Is it because Koza saved him? Is the bird simply observing out of curiosity? Is it perhaps watching him in order to make some later judgment? Is it a guardian of some sort? Maybe it’s meant to encourage him to stay alive? Or maybe he notices it because he’s seen birds before in similar situations, and he knows what they usually mean? All we really know for sure is that Mugen was in bad shape, he saw the bird watching him, he passed out, and he woke up surrounded by streams of light and yellow butterflies (*cough*Cowboy Bebop The Movie*cough*) with Koza taking care of him.

When the red bird reappears in the end credits of the final episode, it observes for a moment, and then flies away. This could be a symbol of Mugen’s liberation and redemption. Maybe it means that Mugen won’t see any more birds for a while. Where the white and black birds released him from death, the red bird is releasing him into life. He has a newfound sense of purpose. Like Jin, he’s found something greater than himself to live for. Fighting is no longer a goal in and of itself, but a way to protect what’s important to him.

Birds appear elsewhere in the series and don’t seem to have much significance, which why I think my own theory is a little flimsy.

In the very first episode, at sunset right before Mugen and Jin are to be executed, a flock of birds flies up and they can be heard making noise. They’re actually shown twice because they’re part of the scene that takes place right at the start, before the rewind.

In the second episode, a filcher bird steals their yakimanju.

At the very beginning of Misguided Miscreants, there are seagulls at the beach before Fuu splashes in the ocean. This could be foreshadowing, if the writers actually planned the bird theme in advance, or it could be nothing. Beaches have seagulls.

There are probably more that I’m forgetting. (Aren’t there birds in Beatbox Bandits–the episode at Hakone Checkpoint with the purple haze? I could swear there are some black birds around when Jin and Fuu are crucified, but I’d need to watch the episode to know for sure.)

This is why initially the red bird didn’t seem significant to me. It’s just one bird out of many others featured throughout the show. It only appears twice in the series. The fact that it’s flying away during the end credits makes it look like it should be meaningful, but we’ve only seen it once before, and only for a few seconds. We never really know what it’s doing there. Its symbolism is not nearly as clear cut as the black birds, nor does it invoke the same emotional response. But I still think the points I mentioned above are worth consideration. Just because there are birds all over the place, it doesn’t necessarily mean the red bird is insignificant. It’s symbolism is just the little more subtle than the others. I like the idea that the red bird is a symbol of life for Mugen.

One of the other things that made me doubt myself is the fact that Fuu and Jin don’t have similar animals/symbols that represent their character development. But I re-thought that too, and I realized something: if we go back to the opening credits, it’s all right there. Jin is represented by fish and squid, and he has a recurring theme with water, while Fuu is represented by sunflowers and gourds/squash, and she spends the entire series searching for a grounding force by chasing after elusive sunflowers that are always wilting. I could probably do a whole analysis on each of them.

So that’s my theory on the red bird, and my own reasoning for and against. I’m sure after reading this lengthy diatribe, you’re probably sorry you asked in the first place. :) But I should thank you for asking because it got me thinking about things in a different way, which I always appreciate.

Let me know what you think?

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cnfhumss12a-blog · 5 years

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Down the Rabbit Hole

By Tamara Cloa

Down the rabbit hole, Alice fell into Wonderland - a surreal land full of the peculiar and the unexplored.

I was feeling a bit tired from all the requirements I had to do and the preparations I had to make for my organization’s concert. I almost dozed off in an air-conditioned SUV over the chatter of my friends as my white noise. We were on our way to Binondo - a part of Manila that upto that day still foreign to me. All I heard is that everyone who lives there is Chinese. The good thing though was that I went with my friends - Dana, Keegan, Trisha, Lianne, and Emiliane. And the best part? Trisha’s mom - whom I call “Tita” - offered to be the White Rabbit to our Alice. Otherwise, we would have taken the LRT - which could’ve brought us there earlier by a few minutes. The downside was that taking the LRT did not give the luxury of privacy and convenience as compared to a private car.

I snapped from my daze as I felt the SUV come to a halt. I checked my surroundings to find a BDO Teller Machine, a street sign that said “Paredes”, and an alleyway. Tita said that she wanted us to try a local favourite: Quik Snack. It was at the middle point of the alleyway called Carvajal. This alleyway became the rabbit hole we fell into. Its sides are lined with carts that had towers of fruits like oranges, apples, dragon fruit, watermelons - you name it. Sometimes, there would be a Chinese drug store or two popping up between the fruit carriages. I held on to my belongings. My parents told me that Binondo is a sketchy place full of sketchy characters. Especially at this point, I didn’t want to lose my phone - considering that my mom accidentally paid for my bill ‘til October.

The White Rabbit led us to a cavern of delicious, affordable, and authentic Chinese delicacies - Quik-Snack. We were not met by a birthday tea party where the Mad Hatter and Hare were in attendance. Instead, we were welcomed by a local eatery filled with local diners: women wearing pearls sipping on iced coffee with coffee jelly and ice cream on top; police in uniform awaiting their ordered lunch; elderly men enjoying their solitude with a newspaper at hand, and families sharing a delicious meal together. The aroma of freshly steamed buns and the distinct peanut smell of sate sauce lend a comforting feel to an otherwise hectic ambiance. After a few minutes, I was served a hot plate of mami noodles with beef and sate sauce along with a glass of iced coffee. Soon after, more dishes such as oyster cake, soup noodles, and meat buns followed. I’d say the food was reasonably priced; most of the menu items were priced below 200 pesos.

The amazing food did not distract me from the bits of history that ordained Quik-Snack’s interior. Old Chinese comics and rough sketches filled the posts, while a mural of the establishment’s past decked the walls. The charm that this restaurant has and the warmth it exudes makes one big on Chinese food. I felt like I was back in time - maybe around the 1940s. Filipinos and Chinese people in their Americanos and the like would share the home-like space Quik-Snack had. Probably.

We stepped outside their door and ended up on Ongpin Street.

We felt small compared to the buildings that surrounded us. The hustling and bustling of vehicles and the people did not help at all. The small tend to look up. There was a noticeable contrast between the the style of the then-new metropolitan to the latest high-rise condominiums. Black and white like the opposing sides of a game of chess. Yet unlike chess, there was the presence of a gray area that helps tie both sides together. The traditional-yet-modern feel that the lanterns give to its surrounding area was stunning. It helped remind one that this is Chinatown, and in Chinatown, there are a lot of Chinese drug stores. I’m not entirely sure what to feel about these traditional types of medication, but I guess that’s because I’ve never seen one up close.

One particular store caught my eye. It had a grand facade without even comparing it to the other Chinese pharmas. The outside was reminiscent of either a temple or a traditional royal building. Being someone who never been at a Chinese drug store before, we decided to take a little sneak peek at some of their wares. It was as if we were in the presence of a caterpillar riddler that smokes. There were trays of ingredients that we could not recognize. That was how exotic - or possibly illegal - the herbs/goods were. My parents weren’t joking when they said that Binondo has some sketchy characters. We stayed there long enough to figure out their system. Once a customer tells them of their illness, they crush and mix ingredients into an powder for consumption. Maybe they could put “DRINK ME” or “EAT ME” labels on them.

While talking to the lady-pharmacist, we found out that this was actually a family-run business. She said that they’ve been putting up the shop since the year 1938. During those 81 years of being in business, you’d think that people might have forgotten all about them - considering the presence of modern medicine- yet they haven’t. They still have a steady stream of customers coming to them. Talking to the people there helped to bring the feel of the store back down to earth, but there was still this uneasiness I was feeling just being in there. Was it the smell? Maybe. Did some powder get into the air and messed with my brain? No, hopefully.

We went off to continue our venture, leaving the putrid scent of the store behind.

A block away, we reached a street that was lined with traditional shops. Most had lovely red lanterns hanging outside their storefronts. One shop had endless rows and columns of shelves filled with jars of Chinese treats - none of which I’m familiar with. Tita bought each of us a jar with a label that was in Chinese. It looked like sweet tamarind, but I can’t be too sure. I think my mom bought something similar from Taiwan during one of her trips. I didn’t like the candied-somethings she brought, but I guess I’m willing to give whatever-this-is a try.

Across the street, there was a store that was too cramped for its own good. The goods being sold seemed random too: thick blankets, tea sets, incense, and more. Tita saw the confusion on my face and said, “This is a traditional Chinese wedding shop. I bought my wedding materials here”. I had too many questions in the my head: why do traditional Chinese weddings need these? What do they symbolize? How long has this shop been here? Tita was looking for something, so I had to asked Google instead. Even Google couldn’t fully grasp what they meant.

Around the corner, I noticed a white-walled store that didn’t seem to belong. On its shelves weren’t exotic ingredients, but bottles of medicine from some of the biggest pharmaceutical companies. It was just like any other pharmacy I could find outside of Binondo, but this shows that while tradition is important for the Chinese, they are willing to see things in a modern context. I felt more at ease after seeing this. Maybe not all of the things I hear about Binondo are true. Maybe I could grow to love it.

Beside the pharmacy, there was a shop that sold symbols of luck, fortune, and the like. They had different types of precious stones, statues, and even gourds. When asked, the saleslady explained that the vegetable was used as a charm to keep diseases away. This is one of the things I’ve always wondered about Chinese culture. Why do they rely on stones and charms to help them? I wonder where they got their beliefs from. I could ask Trisha or the saleslady, but that would seem extremely rude. I rather keep those kinds of questions to myself.

We walked a bit more to a bakery along Salazar Street. The place was filled with stacks of siopao, cuapao, hopia, tikoy, bread and other Chinese delicacies. The best part? They made them in-house, which made them special. The smell of freshly-baked goods wafted the air. If they’re trying to get me to buy something using smell, it was working. Being the Filipino, I bought my dad some ube-filled hopia which is his favourite. I got it for around 80 pesos. And as with most Filipino adventures, buying pasalubong signified the end of our journey.

I sat in the rather empty LRT carriage in a daze - as if waking from a dream. Being in Binondo, I kind of forgot that I was still in Manila. I found things I’ve never seen, heard, or known of. Ironically, I was a tourist in my own country. At first, I felt scared and out of touch with Binondo’s ambiance. Maybe one day, I could gather up the courage to gothere alone and explore more what Binondo had to offer, waking from my dream of rumours and growing up to delve deeper - just like Alice. Gallery: https://cnfhumss12a.tumblr.com/tagged/Tamara

#english #Tamara

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andrewuttaro · 5 years

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New Look Sabres: GM 24 - TBL - Going Stan

5-2 Regulation Loss

We’re all resigned to it now aren’t we? This brutally disappointing November has made us all accept, barring a wicked trade or a Yuletide comeback, that this season will probably be another stinker. Sure, they’re still only four points back of a playoff spot but we’ve all seen this show before haven’t we? It’s now looking like a decent chance the Sabres will have a two-win November… like March… ugh. I’m sorry, I don’t got a rant in me. I’m not upset, I’m just disappointed. How do you follow a sports team you know is going to suck? Other than the tank thing which I know I can’t do; you normally pick a player or two and ride them like you’re the biggest One Direction fan in your High School. I went off the deep end after this game last night. Someone tweeted Carter Hutton isn’t looking good, I thought back to Linus Ullmark’s god-like performance Sunday night and went into full stan-account mode. I’m finding all the gifs I can and dusting off my favorite hot take: Linus Ullmark is the best goalie in the organization. That’s right move over UPL and your fake hips! Move over Carter “I looked good because I was Pekka Rinne’s backup on a fun playoff run” Hutton! The revolution continues! Lord knows this organization is going to go on platooning them because it’s law apparently that this club cannot have fun and or a smart deployment strategy. Are we in hell? Like Donald Trump is President but not only that but he’s been all but proven guilty of treasonous bribery and nobody cares. Sorry, no need to get political but this world kinda feels like the upside down these days. Botterill hasn’t pulled the trigger on the trade we’ve been waiting for since July and the coach we all loved until Halloween decided to call Phil Housley for some deployment advice. I could just be grumpy because those Buffalo Wings from Sunday night wreaked havoc coming out the other end during this game. Saying that might be worse than going political. Hmm. I guess we should talk about the game now.

I missed a few things last game because… well to be very frank I’m not watching these games. I’m going to the Calgary game tomorrow and that will be the first game I sit through the entirety of since that Isles 1-0 snooze fest. Brandon Montour as a forward… *Very RJ voice* WOW! Evan Rodrigues injured in the first play of the game further deepening a forward injury crisis when the team has already fallen behind in the standings? *Even more RJ voice* They’re bad, SCARY BAD! So nobody would have been shocked if you told them the Sabres were going to lose this game. They’ve looked like garbage and Tampa is one of the better teams of the cap era. However this game was looking for ways to kick us in the balls. Andrey Palat hardly has to work to get a defensive zone turnover out of the visitors and he gets it to Nikita Kucherov who puts in… 13 seconds into this game. I don’t know what your game day habits are but my dad would still be on the concourse buying beer. I just ran out of money for the streaming service I got Sabres games on, so I’ve been working with the illegal streams reddit and that nasty underbelly normally causes me to not get my eyes on the game for the first 2-5 minutes. I would have missed that goal… you know, if I was watching. But as I said, this game, at least in the first period was looking creative ways to hurt our genitals. So after an early Tampa goal how do you do that? How about an Eichel to Olofsson to Sam Reinhart goal 3:40 in to even it up at 1? Sure! It was fun little goal. The cute top line we’re stuck with made a full neutral zone transition as the nerds say and Sam Reinhart took a shot that probably would have gone wide had Andrei Vasilevskiy’s pad not redirected it in. We’ve seen this show before though. With that tie the most I could muster was a solid Larry David “Meh”. This club can’t win unless it throws everything, and the kitchen sink out the door these days.

Buffalo didn’t look particularly awful in this game either. They outshot Tampa 27-14 in the first two periods. For a minute they wanted this game. But just like we’ve seen over and over this month, something just doesn’t connect, and they can’t get it going. Last night however, they had one more trick up their sleeves before the Bolts took the game away. Jimmy Vesey is the beneficiary of a blueline giveaway and takes it all the way home for the 2-1 Sabres goal! When I saw Jimmy Vesey unassisted I was already shocked but a breakaway against the Bolts? This stuff is getting weird now. Rasmus Asplund, now a fulltime Sabre because of the forward plague going on, got to Vesey first after the goal and you can’t see his mouth, but you know he was saying “Holy Shit, if you scored I can totally score!” Sorry, fourteenth Rasmus, you would not score in this game. But before we dive headlong into the negatives, and you know there is a lot of them, let’s sneak in some happy thoughts for your shortened work week. Victor Olofsson now has a four-game point streak with the Reinhart assist. Neat, right? In this economy!? A point streak during this stretch! There is more: Jack Eichel is now on a six-game point streak with six goals and five assists in that stretch. That’s the most points of any player on this team as if I needed to tell you that. I’m going to write a children’s book called Jack and Linus. It will be all about if you only have two friends in the world, you have to love them and treat them with respect. You have to defend them from the suburban hockey dads but also the stat geeks who will tell you Ullmark isn’t the best goalie in the organization. Yes, if this season is going to get bad I’m going to become a stan for Jack and Linus. I need something! I am not going to go to the Rochester Americans like I did in 2017-2018; they need to win a playoff game before I’m going to trust them with my heart again! Well after 2-1 we go headfirst into the rout.

First it was Mikhail Sergachev, the kid we passed on for Alex Nylander, getting a powerplay goal for the Lightning. Anthony Sciandra @SciandraSports brought up a devastating point: in November the Sabres have given up more goals on the powerplay than they’ve scored. They’re now 1-31 on the man advantage. That is the kind of stat where you can envision the Jennifer Lawrence Yikes gif as soon as you hear it. Are you ready? It. Gets. Worse! Yanni Gourde scores because to make it 3-2 Bolts and shortly thereafter this game gives us its hardest and most painful shot to the reproductive organs: the Sabres on the powerplay and Rasmus Dahlin drops the puck back before getting drilled in the face by Alex Cernak. When I say drilled, I mean the elbow was used as the drill head. Dahlin didn’t see it coming and falls to the ice. He did not return to the game. The zebras didn’t call it because of course they didn’t, this is the NHL! Cernak has a hearing but you and I both know this is a junk league, right? In a league where Robert Bortuzzo gets a four-game suspension for trying to murder Victor Arvidsson you know Cernak isn’t going to regret that hit. I don’t often use the term chicken shit but that was chicken shit. Ralph Krueger confirmed it was concussion in the postgame and say what you will about Krueger’s patience and hospitable manor, I would have preferred some anger over saying its in the league’s hands. I know you’ve been in England for a hot minute but over here we shit in the league’s mouth every chance we get. They deserve it. And the Sabres deserved the 5-2 loss that followed after surrendering in the third period. There was a 6-2 goal called back, but I think the game was over at that point.

How long am I going to be a Stan account? Well… if they lose to Calgary I am 100% going to stay this way into December. With a home-and-home series with the reborn Toronto Maple Leafs I’m going to need the armor of my sweet boys. Like, comment and share this blog if you need that armor as well. While you’re at it, if you like making fun little graphics, put Linus Ullmark and Jack Eichel in a little thing together; maybe two stoic faces back to back. I love the Eichel talking to Dahlin photo I got as my twitter cover now but if this gets rough I’m going to need the statuesque grace of Eichel and Ullmark watching over my tweets. I’m going Stan for now and it feels so right. It’s a busy holiday week on the blog, there is something going up every day. Yesterday and today it’s New Look Sabres. Tomorrow its State of the Support Episode Six, Thanksgiving Day its New Look Sabres again and Black Friday you’ll get a rare post from my religion blog: Hypostatic Thoughts. I think I’m going to post the one about Purgatory. That topic feels somewhat appropriate in a Sabres context right now as well, eh? Well I hope they don’t suck against Calgary. We’ll see! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. My Ten Year Challenge tweet was a little too easy.

#buffalo sabres #hockey #blog #NHL #stan

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thrashermaxey · 6 years

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Ramblings: Bubble Keeper Week Cap League; Heiskanen and Honka; Iginla; Zucker – July 27

Bubble Keeper Week is continuing here at Dobber Hockey and I’ve been very heartened to see the Dobber community come out and talk fantasy hockey. This is typically a time of year where most people have football, baseball, and barbecues on the mind, and it goes to show the passion you, as a community, has for the game we all love.

A couple days ago I mentioned one keeper league I have that follows a cap structure. We keep 18 and the scoring is as follows for skaters: goals, assists, shots, special-teams points, hits, blocks, takeaways, face-off wins. We start three centres, three of each wing, four defencemen, three utility, and two goalies. We haven’t had our rookie draft yet.

This is my roster (missing are goalies Jonathan Quick, Aaron Dell, and Darcy Kuemper) and they are last year’s salaries, which means someone’s contract information like Boone Jenner’s is incorrect:

These are the guys I know I’m keeping for sure: Nico Hischier, Jake Guentzel, Chris Kreider, Yanni Gourde, Ivan Provorov, Shea Theodore, Nazem Kadri, Brett Ritchie, Brad Marchand, Boone Jenner, Vladimir Tarasenko, Evgeny Kuznetsov, Jonathan Quick, and Aaron Dell. That makes 14.

A couple guys I’m waiting on are Josh Morrissey and to an extent Ondrej Kase. Both are RFAs without their new contracts as of yet.

Some guys I’m unsure of: Pavel Zacha, Evgenii Dadonov, and Justin Faulk.

I have always been a fan of Zacha and think he’s due to breakout this year so, considering his cheap salary, I will probably keep him.

Dadonov I really don’t know what to do with. He provides little in peripherals and could lose his power-play spot to Mike Hoffman. If he’s basically a nothing in half the categories, is he worth $4-million in this league setup?

Finally, I thought Faulk would be in a new destination by now. The addition of Dougie Hamilton is going to ruin hopes of a bounce back for Faulk in a Carolina uniform. It’s a matter of whether we get 2016-17 Faulk or 2017-18 Faulk. I just don’t know yet.

What does the Dobber community think on each of Zacha, Dadonov, and Faulk in this format?

We are down to a one-handed number of days as the 2018-19 Dobber Hockey fantasy guide is set to release in five days. Be sure to grab your copy early so you can absorb all the fantasy goodness contained within and take advantage of the updates that will occur as we progress to the end of the off season. Just head to the Dobber Shop and pre-order yours now!

Sean Shapiro of The Athletic had an interview recently with new Stars head coach Jim Montgomery. I encourage those with subscriptions to read it but there were a few interesting takeaways:

It sounds like we can expect the trio of Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin, and Alex Radulov to skate together infrequently at five-on-five. I assume Radulov is the guy moved down. Reading between the lines, does that mean Valeri Nichushkin gets a shot on the top line?

Montgomery specifically talks about wanting to play a “puck-possession game” which probably bodes well for their skill players.

Montgomery also specifically gushes over Miro Heiskanen’s ability to generate offence from the defensive zone, so maybe they let him make mistakes while trying to create offence through the neutral zone.

The new coach also discusses Julius Honka’s ability to create clean entries, which is something he will be emphasizing. Those who’ve waited for Honka to finally be a staple of this blue line, it looks like it may happen.

There is a lot more to the interview, specifically talking about Stephen Johns, Radek Faksa, Devin Shore, and Jason Spezza. I really do encourage people to read it. This interview is more enlightening than the vast majority of interviews from coaches.

Something I’ve just been thinking about for this year is Jeff Carter’s value. He lost two-thirds of his 2017-18 due to injury but still managed 13 goals and 22 points in 27 games. That’s pretty good.

My big issue is that he’s going into his age-34 season. The list of centres with 25-goal, 30-assist seasons at the age or older over the last five seasons is as follows: Pavel Datysuk (2014-15). That’s it. That’s the whole list. In fact, Datsyuk is the only centre in the last decade to have a season with at least 25 goals and 30 assists at the age of 34 or older. We know of aging curves in hockey. We know that shots and shooting percentage fall off in the late 20s and get worse. There was also an article recently from Ryan Stimson at The Athletic showing that playmaking skills can sustain themselves much more than shooting later into a career. Carter is a shooter.

He’ll still get 17-18 minutes a night centering the second line and on the top power-play unit. With Ilya Kovalchuk in town, do some of his shots on the PP disappear?

This will largely be a question of ADP. He was often drafted inside the top-75 last year. Even if he’s still just inside the top-100, it might be worth passing on him. Once I finish projections, I’ll have a better idea of where to grab him. This might be a situation where I’d rather be a year early jumping off the boat than a year late.

A couple days ago, the Calgary Flames announced that Jarome Iginla would be having a retirement ceremony in Calgary at the end of the month. So ends a career that began as a draft pick of the Dallas Stars and ends as one of the most prolific wingers to step on NHL ice.

In the history of the NHL, there have been 17 players to manage both 600 goals and 600 assists in their career. Only two aren’t Hall of Famers and those two are Iginla and Jaromir Jagr. That’s why I had to laugh when I saw some people on social media, just after the announcement was made, ask whether Iginla was a Hall of Famer. I know they’re just trying to spark some sort of discussion (need those engagement numbers) but the thought to the contrary is an absurd one.

Let’s dig a little more into Iginla’s career (all from Hockey Reference’s Play Index):

From 1998-1999 through 2014-15, a span of 16 seasons, Iginla managed 25 goals in 15 of those seasons, only missing in the lockout-shortened 2013 campaign. Marian Hossa had the next-most 25-goal seasons with 12.

In the 10 seasons from 2001-02 through 2011-12, the prime production years of his career, he had 806 points in 800 games. Only Joe Thornton had more points in those seasons (899).

Since the turn of the century, Iginla has 12 seasons with at least 30 goals and 30 assists. No one else has more than eight.

No matter how it’s cut or sliced, Iginla is one of the top wingers to skate in the modern era of the NHL. That doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of his impact on the game when you consider his impact on others:

Jarome Iginla is the reason I even picked up a stick in the first place. At a young age there weren’t too many players with a similar background to me. I’ve idolized him my entire life and wish I could have stepped on the ice with him. Best of luck Iggy!

— Tyrell Goulbourne (@Tgillz12) July 25, 2018

When someone leaves the game of hockey, be it retirement from the playing or management side, there are always platitudes that are offered. Every single person is the Classiest Person Ever in hockey. Every single person is a Hall Of Fame Individual. Et cetera. Et cetera. These aren’t platitudes when it comes to Iginla. From fellow players, to fans, to coaches, to just regular people on the street, he treated everyone with respect, and assumed the role of a true leader.

We will see another player like Iginla; there are too many talented players across the world for it not to happen. I’m not sure we’ll see another player with his on- and off-ice qualities again, though.

I have gotten a couple questions on Jason Zucker – which is kind of surprising given I’ve probably written more about him than any other player over the last few months – so I wanted to go through his breakout season piece by piece.

Zucker’s 2017-18 was a career year, cracking 60 points for the first time. In fact, he cracked 50 points for the first time, finishing with 33 goals and 31 assists. He also played a full 82-game season for the first time, while averaging 16:58 TOI per game, also a career-best.

We may look at his 14.9 percent shooting and just assume, considering he shot 12.1 percent over the previous five seasons, that it’ll come down. Here’s the thing: his 11.5 percent shooting at five-on-five in 2017-18 was actually lower than both his 2016-17 season (12.6 percent) and his 2014-15 season (15.3 percent). His aggregate shooting percentage from 2012-2016 at five-on-five was 11.4 percent, right in line with his 2017-18 season. He scored 20 goals at five-on-five, as he did the year before. In other words, he didn’t get lucky at five-on-five.

The difference came on the power play. For his career, Zucker had three PP goals in 248 games before last season. He was finally given regular minutes and popped seven. Minnesota split their time between two units so it’s not as if he had monster top-unit minutes like guys in Washington, Boston, or San Jose. Even though he was given regular power-play minutes, looking in a league-wide context, he still had fewer minutes on the man advantage than guys like Alex Tuch, Alex Kerfoot, Max Domi, Nick Schmaltz, and Adam Henrique.

Zucker shot 21.9 percent on the power play, which explains his bump in overall shooting percentage. That may seem high, and it’s certainly above average, but among forwards with 170-plus minutes on the man advantage last year, that mark wasn’t even inside the top-20.

The one concern is that this was the third straight season with a declining shot attempt rate at five-on-five. Though his actual shot on goal rate went up, his shot attempt rate went down. That’s probably an aberration and if he doesn’t start shooting more, his overall shot totals will decline unless he sees more ice time. If his ice time and shot rates don’t change, don’t be surprised if he drops 20 or so shots off his totals, which would result in a few fewer goals.

His individual points percentage last year was 68.8 percent, a three-year high, but not far off his 2016-17 season (65.3 percent) and lower than his 2014-15 season (74.3 percent). Again, it just seems about normal for him.

All told, despite it being the best production season of his career, not too much of his 2017-18 season was out of line with what he had done in his career, and most of the changes can be explained in a change in usage. Maybe he doesn’t improve next year, or even declines a little, but barring a really unlucky year, there should be too much of a change. He can still push for 30 goals and 60 points.

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-bubble-keeper-week-cap-league-heiskanen-and-honka-iginla-zucker-july-27/

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