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your-hero-imagines · 6 years

Note

Could I get Shinsou headcanons for an s/o with pathokinesis? (The ability to sense and manipulate other people's emotions) like, they're kind of ashamed of their quirk because of what it could be used to do. I just kinda figured they're both picked on because of their stuff and I wanted to see your take on it...if that's ok with you! Either way I hope you have a lovely day!! ^_^

Heya Anon!

I hope my work was worth the wait! XD

Turned it into a scenario because it came off easier to me, hope that’s all right! Shinsou fans have way too less content about him so I hope this long text will satisfy you guys! :3

Loved the request btw! That’s a pretty nice idea for a quirk!

Okay, I like to imagine the kind of scenery of a new person stepping into Shinsou’s life, turning his world upside down and “saving” him in a certain way. And I just love the “new one in town” cliché.

Have fun!

It was a day like anyone else. As always, Shinsou sat alone at his desk and doodled something in his notebook, while trying to ignore the usual, susupicious stares his classmates directed at him.

How long has he kept on telling himself that it doesn’t bother him at all? Or that having friends is overrated anyway? Yet how everyone was treating him him even though he never did something wrong in his life was just too damn discouraging.

The only glimmer of hope was to finally meet some decent persons after graduation, even though he almost gave up on the thought of people ever treating him elseway.

As the bell rang, his homeroom teacher entered the class - accompanied by you. His explanation was short, and he asked you to introduce yourself. You stepped forwards, seemingly trembling from excitement. “H-hello! My name is [___]. I just moved here, but I hope we’ll get along well!”

Looking around, you were seeing many friendly expressions directed at you, making your nervousness slowly fading away. Only one boy didn’t seem to care much, since he was looking out of the window, his face leaned on his hand. Seemed like he’s daydreaming.

The seat right next to him was still free, so you just sat down there. As he looked over to you, you gave him your most gentle smile, but he looked away as soon as your eyes met. At first you didn’t think much of it, though.

On the other hand, he wasn’t really interested in you in the beginning - but he had to admid that you had a certain aura surrounding you. The “positive vibes”, or how people would call it, you were emitting were making him feel drawn to you - and you were kinda pretty, too. Maybe it was because of your kind eyes? Why is he even thinking so much about that? Anyway, you were way above his league. Another normal, popular child. Soon you’d find out about his quirk, and avoid him like anyone else.

_________

Obviously, at the first short break, everone was already swarming around you - a new student is always interesting. They were nice and all, but you didn’t really like to be the center of attention. May it be rude or not, you couldn’t help but find your attration centered at that weird boy still sitting at the window all alone. For some reason, it was hard to concentrate when he was around. The other pupils often had to bring you back down to earth when you stared at him for a bit too long. After you politely answered the questions of all of your classmates, you decided to get to know him.

Shinsou couldn’t believe when you walked up to his desk, certain the other students already told you to stay away from him unless you want to get brainwashed. But you like to make your own impressions of people before judging, and also: You were kind of an expert in human nature, and he seemed like a nice person to you.

“Hi! I think we haven’t talked yet. Nice to meet you!” you cheered, reaching out a hand to him. He was hesistant to take it, being left speechless for a while. But he replied to your introduction anyway, silently stuttering “N-nice to meet you, too.” “I hope I’m not disturbing you or something.” “N-not at all” he answered, trying to hide a soft blushing. You leaned over his notebook, amazed by his art. Like that, a long conversation about many topics came up. Both of you realized you had much in common, and you said you were looking forward to a wonderful friendship.

Yet he was still pretty distrustful. Were you trying to mock him or something? Why would you want to hang out with him of all people, when the other kids liked you? You didn’t seem like an outsider. So he convinced himself he doesn’t care that much, expecting to get disappointed again, and not wanting to rise his hopes - aside from that, your small, single smile somehow managed to brighten up his whole day.

____________

Through all the first lessons, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. At first he didn’t even realize it himself, but at lunch break some of the girls walked up to him and lessoned him about staying away from you. They even went so far to tell him not trying to use his powers to do nasty things or something. It really hurt him, but you interrupted the girls and told him to leave your friend alone. “Did she just call me her friend?”

“I am so sorry!” you said, bowing in apology as the girls went away, probably gossiping. “Because of me you got trouble with those girls! I didn’t want that!” “Huh, it’s not your fault” Shinsou said, trying to hide the crack in his voice. “They’re just stupid. They are doing this since forever. It’s not a big deal.” You realized that Shinsou was on the verge of tears, but didn’t say anything about it to not make him embarassed.

“How about we eat lunch together? The canteen is still open.” “Not interested, sorry” he said - but actually he’d love to. His only concern was about you - those girls already looked very angry, and if you were to be seen with him, maybe you’d get bullied too. “Oh, I get it” you answered, walking out of the classroom. Shinsou felt an ache in his heart when he saw your disappointed face.

But just a few minutes after, you were back in the classrom, which was completely empty - except for Shinsou. On your arms, you carried a whole load of snacks, which you just dropped on his desk. “Here! We’re alone here, the others won’t come back until the break ends. It’s fine, right?” Seemed like he was a little bit too obvious about his concerns.

Looking up, Shinsou saw your bright eyes, shining in expectation. He sighed as he unpacked a chocolate bar, his other hand grabbing a chair and pulling it next to him. “Yay!” you shoutet out as you sat down and started munching a cupcake, too. “How cute…” he thought, examining your facial expressions. When you realized, you asked him “Is something wrong with my face? You’ve been staring at it ever since I got here!” Damn, he was caught staring. But doesn’t this mean that you stared at him, too?

“Well, I just…I just wondered why you’re being so nice to me.” “Huh? Why shouldn’t I?” you chuckled, making him pretty angry. Aren’t you taking him seriously? He didn’t even notice how nervous you were, yourself. “Just to make this clear: I don’t want your help! I don’t need any sympathy!” You gulped while swallowing a bite of the cupcake, looking at him kind of confused. “That’s not what I had in mind, though. I want us to be friends! Really!” you cheered, shamelessly holding his hand. Getting flustered, Shinsou looked down to the table. “Oh…That’s all right, I guess.”

___________

Ever since this day, Shinsou was looking forward going to school - since he was able to meet you there. Thanks to you, the people stopped bullying Shinsou. They still weren’t really nice around him, but they kinda tolerated it.

He was quick to find himself at ease around you, and opened up more than he ever thought he would be. It were only a few weeks, but Shinsou was so happy to finally have someone he can call a true friend. And the fact that it’s someone as wonderful as you only made his happiness rise a thousandfold.

“I still don’t get it” he mumbled as the two of you walked through the city, sharing an ice-cream. “Aren’t you afraid of my quirk?” You poked his forehead, beginning to laugh at his stupid expression. “Do you still only think about this?” you said as you kept him from going any further, hugging him in the middle of the street. Shinsou dropped the ice-cream, blushing heavily. “You’re the nicest person I ever met, Shinsou” you whispered, adding “And I really, really like you!” Shinsou closed his eyes, enjoying this moment as he returned the hug. “Sorry. I shouldn’t doubt you. I’m glad that I got to know you, [___].”

This boy can’t take a hint. Well, he’s not really experienced at how to socialize in general, so you forgive him for being so oblivious to your feelings.

Oh god, the first time you visit his home was so bittersweet. His mom is a big sweetheart, putting some hell of an effort into making a nice dinner. She asked you a ton of questions and was even more excited about you than Shinsou. She kept checking on you guys and asked if you needed something. It made trying to approach him way more difficult as it already is, but you just couldn’t be mad at her. Especially after he tells you that his mom is always so pained and worried about him never having brought home a friend before.

This evening, you watched some old hero movies like “Captain America”, cuddling under a blanket in his bedroom. You admired his wish to become a hero. He never thought badly about you, even though you lied and told him you don’t have a quirk. You loved that about him - he never judges anyone, and is polite towards all people. Actually, you never thought about using your quirk to become a hero. You always wanted to become a psychologist or something like that. But listening to his dreams was very pleasant.

____________

One morning a few days later, Shinsou witnessed how one of the jocks were mocking a small boy in front of the school’s gate. The boy was already crying, and Shinsou saw how that guy shattered the boy’s art project on the ground. He grid his teeth, not able to just silently stand there and watch. Ready to activate his quirk, he stepped through the circle of people surrounding the scene, asking “Hey! Do you think this is funny?”

But in the blink of an eye, before the jock could even answere, he broke out in tears. “What the…” Shinsou thought - and then he saw you, slowly approaching the scene. “It hurts, doesn’t it?” “What did you do to me?!” the jock yelled out, still crying and unable to move due to the overwhelming sadness he felt.

“I just made you feel the way you make others feel. Not really pleasant, isn’t it?” The jock cried more than he ever thought possible, in front of all the people watching. “Stop this!” he yelled desperate. “That’s easy: Just apologize, and I’ll stop!” you cheered with a pleased grin on your face. Shinsou couldn’t believe his eyes when the jock fell onto his knees and apologized. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Just make this feeling stop, please!”

“Of course. Thank you! But make sure I’ll never catch you doing such things ever again!” you said, releasing your quirk. The jock, still terrified of what you just did to him, as well as embarassed about his reaction, ran away as fast as possible. Soon, you found yourself gathered by people whispering about how terrifying your quirk was. The way they looked at you was familiar - it was always the same when people found out about your quirk.

When you looked up and looked at the people, they flinched, and quickly they all fleed. Reading their emotions, you could only feel fear and aversion. Wanting to help the bullied boy back on his feet, you reached out your hands for him - but he yelled “Don’t touch me! You want to do something to me too, don’t you? Leave me alone!” As the boy slapped away your hand and ran for his life, tars filled up in your eyes, and you just stood there, your hands balled to fists as you faced the ground.

“Heya.” A familiar voice got you out of your trance. It was Shinsou, softly touching your shoulder. “That was pretty awesome. But your performance was a bit creepy, don’t you think?” You fell into his arms, crying your heart out. “Shinsou! I’m so sorry for not telling you!” “Understandable, though. But I have to say I’m a bit hurt that you didn’t trust me to keep a secret.”

Shinsou pet your head, helping you to calm down. The two of you sat down, leaning to the wall of the school’s gate. He didn’t quite know what to say, even though he could understand the pinch you’re in pretty well. So you started explaining:

“I don’t really have to tell you what it’s like, right? You’re the same. I think people are like this ever since I can imagine. They’re afraid of my quirk, even though I never use it. Basically, it’s pathokinesis. So I can sense and manipulate other people’s emotions. On my old school, it hurt too much that people treated me like this. I’m not as strong as you, Shinsou. I was ashamed of my abilities. So I wanted to start anew here, telling people I’m quirkless. I know, that’s pretty weak.”

“It’s not. You’re not the one at fault here. The only weak thing is the reaction other people show to our quirks.” You rested your head onto his shoulders. “Please, don’t think I just became friends with you because of our similar quirks. That’s not the case!” He pinched your cheeks. “Sigh. I didn’t think something like that, but-” Suddenly, the realization worried Shinsou. “You didn’t…sense my emotions, right?” he asked, trying to prevent himself from blushing.

“What? No! I’d never do that, Shinsou!” you said, hugging onto him. The boy’s heart raced very fast - as it always does when you’re so affectionate. He embraced you tightly, taking a deep breath before saying. “No matter what other people think of you: I’ll always be there for you, okay? From now on, it’s only the two of us!”

It pained him that those people would treat you unfair from now on, too. He of all people knows what it’s like when people don’t trust you just because of your quirk. “You know, even without your quirk, you’re always so kind and empathizing, and you really helped me getting out of my shell. To be honest, I was pretty envious of how well you can deal with other people…”

“But you’re amazing, too!” you interrupted him. “You’re polite and calm and so cool! I don’t care what all the others think - I only need you! I…can’t really explain it, but…From the very first moment, I felt kind of…attracted to you.” Realizing what you just said, both of you just stared at each other in awe.

“[___]. I-I’d like you to read my emotions right now.” “Huh? Why?” “Just do it, already!” he shoutet, when you reaized that he was shaking a bit. Blushing yourself, you activated your quirk.

Overwhelmed, you fell backwards. “[___]! Are you okay?” Shinsou yelled, immediately pulling you back to him to help you up. “I-I don’t know what to say…” you stuttered, trying to avoid eye contact. Many different emotions were mixed inside of him when it came to you: Respect, admiration, affection, and many more. But one outweighted the others. It was the first time you ever experienced someone having such a strong feeling of…love. And it was directed towards you.

“It’s okay. You can as well just ignore it. I-I just wasn’t courageous enough to tell you, so -” As quick as you could, you hastily pressed your lips onto his. Both of you closed your eyes, trying to do your best at this first, sloppy kiss. When you opened your eyes again, for the first time, Shinsou smiled from the bottom of his heart. He pressed your body against his, beginning to chuckle.

“Well, the two of us sure are a unique couple!”

#Boku no Hero Academia #BNHA #My Hero Academia #MHA #Shinsou Hitoshi #1-B #Writing #Scenario #Romance #Self Insert #Character x Reader #Brainwashing #Pathokinesis #Anon #Request

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fucking-zawa-sensei · 6 years

Text

Don’t Kid Yourself: Chapter 4 - I Take It All Back

Pairing: Erasermic – Shouta Aizawa|Eraserhead/Hizashi Yamada|Present Mic

Categories: pining, unrequited love, slow burn, angst, very very slow burn

Word Count: 5,000+

Summary: The repercussions from their conversation in the car follows Aizawa and Yamada throughout the rest of their week. Something makes Yamada distant and Aizawa tries to ask questions without breaking boundaries.

Notes: Chapter 5, the one after this, will be the last angst heavy chapter of this fic (there will be some sprinkled in here and there, but nothing like the past few). It will focus on Yamada’s POV for the days and events covered in the below chapter. This is why he is intentionally vague here. Everything will be answered in chapter 5. I am trying to get the ball rolling so I can stop torturing you in a couple chapters. I wanted this fic to feel genuine and true to life, so there is quite the slow build, but it will have erasermic eventually. Thanks for reading!

The previous chapter took place on Wednesday. I noticed my timeline might be a little confusing, so here’s the rundown: Monday - Ice cream date Tuesday - Yamada doesn’t talk to Aizawa Wednesday - Yamada doesn’t talk to Aizawa until after class in the car (I’m counting the “day time” portion of Wednesday as one of the two days Yamada gives him the silent treatment). This chapter starts Wednesday night. Aizawa POV.

Read it on AO3 here

Other Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

Chapter 4: I Take It All Back

Wednesday Night.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

Aizawa’s phone shuffles a bit across the wooden top of his bedside table. He’s laid out on his stomach atop his bed covers, pillow comfortably stuffed under his upper chest, reading a book.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

He reaches over to pick up the phone and check who’s messaging him, but the display just shows an unknown number. He unlocks the screen and looks at the anonymous messages.

“Hey did something happen to Hizashi? He seems down.”

“This is Haru, btw. Sorry, he gave me your number a while back just in case!”

“In case of what?” Aizawa mumbles, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

With a groan, he types back, “We just had a talk, it’s fine.”

Imai’s response time is either impeccable, or he already had a pretty good idea of what was going on, because his reply comes only seconds later.

“About me?”

“No.”

“You, then? You and him?”

Aizawa shuts his book and places it on the nightstand. How much does Imai know about what happened between Hizashi and me? Aizawa thinks, trying to figure out how best to respond.

“Yeah,” is the simple message he shoots back, rolling over to face the ceiling and wait for what he knows will be just another incredibly awkward conversation. At this point, Aizawa’s beginning to feel like that’s all the talking he’s capable of doing anymore. That and exasperatedly begging teenagers to not get themselves killed for just one week.

His phone vibrates again where he has it resting between his hand and his chest. He lifts it up to see what Imai has to say.

“Why is he so sad?” Aizawa’s eyebrows raise a bit in surprise. I thought for sure he’d go straight to digging about our relationship.

“Beats me,” Aizawa replies.

“Come on, that can’t be true. I’m worried about him.”

Aizawa hesitates to respond, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. He didn’t particularly want to rehash their whole conversation to Imai.

“Why don’t you just ask him?” he asks. Surely, the dream team was capable of communicating.

“I tried, he doesn’t want to talk.”

Aizawa frowns. Interesting.

“Then wait until he does, it’s not my place to say if he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

Aizawa waits for a response, but it seems Imai has accepted his reasoning, falling silent. Aizawa closes down his messaging app and taps his gallery open, then his downloads folder, before opening up the orange kitten in the lion’s mane costume Yamada had sent him a few days ago to cheer him up. Aizawa smiles at the picture, honestly, it was cute.

He rolls back over to his stomach, grabbing his book again, but stops before flipping back to the page he’d been on. Picking up his phone, he copies the little kitten picture into a new message to Yamada and sends it off.

Aizawa doesn’t get another message until he’s 3 and a quarter more chapters into the book and his eyes are getting a little drier than normal. He’s considering just calling it a night, but he kind of wants to finish this chapter. He’s rubbing at his right eye when his phone vibrates and lights up on the pillow next to him.

He looks at the screen and sees this time it says “Hizashi” on the preview with a little unread envelope and 2 new messages next to it.

“Thanks! :D”

I thought you were supposed to be sad.

The other message is another picture. This time of a fluffy yellow duckling cuddled up with a sleeping black cat. Aizawa saves the attachment.

“Cute.” is all he texts back, a small smile starting on his face. He shakes it off. This feels too weird. He’s just pretending it’s okay again.

Yamada sends another picture of someone poking the tiny toe beans of a tabby cat.

“I want a cat! :(“ comes Yamada’s follow up text. Aizawa starts typing out a message about how he can just come play with his cat, Mai, but thinks better of it and deletes the whole thing. If Yamada’s really feeling better, he should be talking to Imai, not him.

“Get one then, you’re an adult.”

“Come with me to a shelter sometime?”

Aizawa would love to go to a shelter and help Yamada find a cat. He can’t think of something better than being surrounded by adorable adoptable cats and watching Yamada grin and melt as he plays with all of them, but adopting a cat seems an awful lot like something people should do with their partners. Especially when they live with them.

“Shouldn’t you pick one out with Imai?”

Aizawa has to wait several minutes before Yamada finally answers.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“He texted me, you know.” Aizawa isn’t really sure he should be calling Imai out, but it’s not like they talked about anything secret.

“What?! Really?!” comes Yamada’s first message, quickly followed by another.

“Shouta, I’m so sorry, and after I said I’d tone it down…”

“I told you that you don’t need to do that,” Aizawa rolls his eyes. He did not want to rehash their fight on a platform he’d actively have to delete it from. It was hard enough trying to get it out of his mind. Aizawa looks back down to his book, still not finished with the chapter. I should have just said he could come play with Mai and left it alone.

“I know. Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Aizawa sends.

“What did he want?”

“He wanted to know what was wrong with you.”

“Oh.”

Oh? That’s it? Aizawa thinks. Guess that answers my question. He didn’t talk to him. Then why is he acting better?

Aizawa glances at the clock, which reads 11:17 PM. He doesn’t usually go to bed this early, but he also doesn’t usually have this much free time to go to bed this early. He might as well take it. He’d been the one to help Yamada for most of his life, but now he had someone else, so Aizawa decides gently pushing him into talking to his partner is probably for the best.

“I’m going to bed, see you tomorrow.” He types out and sends to Yamada. It’s met with a picture of a cat wearing a nightcap and tucked into a tiny bed.

“Sleep well, Shouta.” A little red heart and a microphone emoji is sent with the final message. Love, Mic. Yamada had been ending any conversations that led into either of them going to bed like that for many years. It had been a few months since Aizawa had bowed out of a conversation for rest, though. He almost considers opening up his own emojis to see if there’s an eraser, but decides to let it go. He sets his phone on the nightstand, along with his sadly unfinished book, and turns off the light.

---

Thursday.

Aizawa doesn’t see Yamada at work the next day. He knows the voice hero is in the school, though, because the kids are all still going to English class and leaving without any gossip or questions floating around the halls. There’s even a stack of graded pop quizzes on his desk in the staff room when he stops there to eat lunch. They’re English quizzes, which honestly could be the work of a substitute, but the grades all have accompanying smiling, frowning, or halfway between faces doodled beside them. There’s even one that looks like it’s puking. They might as well be signed, “Graded by Mic.”

Aizawa glances around the staff room. Midnight and Cementoss are the only other two in the room. Kayama glances up from her lunch.

“What’s bugging you?” she asks.

“Where’s Mic?”

She shrugs, looking back down at her food. “He was here earlier.”

“Where is he now?”

She looks up at him, raising one eyebrow. “Why are you so worried about where he is?”

Aizawa gives her the best bored expression he can manage. “It’s unusual that he’s not here.”

“Maybe he’s at lunch with Haru,” she says, but it’s not malicious. She’s frowning, eyes downcast. Kayama had been half the reason Aizawa had enough guts to finally confess to Yamada. Aizawa knew she’d felt a great deal of guilt when he’d gone to her apartment that night he’d confessed, shaking with anger and hurt. He’s not resentful and had expressed that a number of times. In the end, it had been his decision, but Kayama had always been rather outspoken about her feelings. The whole event had put a strain on her as well.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Aizawa pulls out his chair and moves the stack of quizzes over to the side. They all eat in silence.

Aizawa doesn’t run into Yamada at all the rest of the day.

---

The next day is Friday, and it starts much the same as the previous. No signs of Yamada.

Again, he knows he’s here somewhere. He’d casually asked the students if they were prepared for all of their upcoming assignments or if they needed a study period, fishing for information, and was readily obliged by Iida. The boy gave an emphatic run down of their upcoming tests and projects, including a presentation in Yamada’s class today, which some of the students were more than a little panicked about if the way they nervously played with their pencils and looked down at their desks was any indication.

He’d decided to have mercy on them and allow them to use the homeroom period to practice their presentations on each other. He was a little surprised to find most of the class wasn’t actually too bad at English. Yaoyorozu was perhaps a little over prepared, but Jirou’s English could rival Yamada’s, sounding conversational and flowing well. Aizawa wondered if it had to do with the music they both listened to. He’d seen her in the dorms wearing t-shirts of American bands that he knew Yamada also owned merch for.

After the free period, he walked out to give the classroom over to Midnight, but rather than stroll in with her confident walk as usual, she grabbed his elbow and pulled him to the side.

“He’s in the computer lab right now,” she whispered in his ear, then pushed him gently in the direction of that room. Before he could say anything, she was giving the class a cheery “Good morning!” and closing the door.

Now, Aizawa finds himself walking to the computer lab. He wasn’t sure why he really needed to see Yamada. They had nothing to talk about. Space was probably a good thing after the discussion they had in the car, but he kept thinking back to how Imai had seemed so worried, and the way Yamada had cried not once, but twice during their conversation. Aizawa knew why he was suffering, and knew the whole situation wasn’t easy on Yamada either, but he didn’t think Yamada would be this affected by it.

He slides the door to the lab open and finds it empty. He’s not really surprised. There are computers in the staff room, and the students are all in class now, so unless there is an in-class project calling for computers, they’re usually empty before the kids start filing in after class is over to type up papers and work on assignments. Aizawa turns around to leave, but spots a little tuft of blonde hair poking around the side of a desktop monitor a few rows back.

He approaches quietly, slowly. A few more steps down the aisle and he can see Yamada’s got his head resting on his arms atop the table, keyboard shoved to the side.

Is he sleeping? Here? Aizawa thinks. He’s usually the only one doing that.

He reaches out to tap Yamada’s shoulder pad and the blonde immediately raises his head. Not sleeping, then.

Yamada turns around to see who tapped him and his eyebrows shoot up a little when he sees Aizawa.

“Ah! Hey!” he says, straightening up in his chair. The leather on his arms makes a peeling noise as he moves. He’s been lying here a while, Aizawa thinks.

“What are you doing here?” Aizawa asks, looking at the blank computer screen. The little power light isn’t even blinking, which means it’s not asleep, rather, it was never turned on.

Yamada also looks at the screen, then back at Aizawa, scratching his chin a little.

“Uh? Contemplating the universe and life as we know it?”

“Ambitious.”

“You know me! A real go-getter! That’s what my mom always said!” Yamada jokes, pointing at himself with his thumbs.

Aizawa smiles a bit, then pulls out the chair next to Yamada to sit down. Yamada’s hands drop.

“What’s wrong?” Aizawa asks. Yamada sighs.

“That obvious?”

“You’ve been purposely avoiding me for almost two days and now you’re ‘contemplating life’ in the computer lab.”

Yamada smooths out his mustache and then readjusts his headphones a bit.

“Haru and I had a fight that night I was texting you.”

After? It seemed too late for them to fight after he’d said goodnight. Before, then...but he seemed happier than when we were talking in the car, not worse.

“And?” Aizawa asks.

“And I didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to talk to you about it,” Yamada shrugs, “so I ran, I guess.”

“You didn’t get very far…” Aizawa says, “Hizashi, I told you-”

“Not to pretend he doesn’t exist. Not to hide my feelings, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.” Yamada waves him off.

Aizawa frowns. Short fuse today.

“You’re giving me a lot of mixed rules here, Shouta. You don’t want to hear about cute stuff we do together, but you want to hear about the bad stuff?”

It doesn’t feel like a particularly fair way to word it, but he’s not wrong. Aizawa feels kind of guilty.

“I don’t know…” he answers, trailing off.

Yamada bites his bottom lip.

“I don’t want to talk about it either way,” Yamada says.

“Okay.”

“I know you said no about the shelter, but do you want to go to the cat cafe today instead?” Yamada asks. His voice is quiet, hesitant. Aizawa’s not sure why he’s asking that on a Friday, though. Yamada has his radio show and Aizawa is going on patrol. This happens every Friday, without exception.

“Hizashi, do you know what day it is?”

“Of course! It’s-” Yamada’s face very quickly goes from indignant to embarrassed, “it’s Friday…:

Aizawa nods.

“Saturday, then?” Yamada asks, hopeful.

Aizawa kind of feels like they could use some space after everything that’s happened this week, but Yamada seems determined to make plans together.

“Sure, Saturday. Not too early, though.”

“No, of course not. Like, 3?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Great, I’m looking forward to it,” Yamada says, pushing away from the table to stand up.

Aizawa grabs the sleeve of his jacket.

“Hizashi...I know what I said in the car...but things got pretty heated. I don’t want you to think you have to hold everything in just to spare my feelings. You’re right, I didn’t really want to hear about dates you went on with Imai or things he did that you thought were cute, but if not hearing those things means I don’t hear from you...I’d much rather put up with it.” Aizawa looks up at Yamada, whose mouth is open just a tiny bit, eyebrows pulled together. “If you’re upset, you can talk to me about it. I’ll try to be unbiased.”

Yamada nods slowly, smiles.

“Thanks, Sho,” he says, patting the back of Aizawa’s hand with the hand that’s not being restrained by his grip. Aizawa lets go.

“I…” Yamada hesitates, “I’m not really sure I want to talk about it right now.”

Aizawa nods, getting out of his chair to follow Yamada out. Just as the blonde is about to step into the hall, Aizawa pulls on the back of his leather jacket’s high collar. Yamada jerks to a stop.

“Hey! What was that for?” he asks, turning around. Aizawa points up to Yamada’s tower of hair.

“You’ve got a piece falling down,” he says.

Yamada looks up as if he’s going to be able to see the mountain of hair atop his head.

“Where? Can you fix it?” he asks, turning like a dog looking for its tail.

“Yeah, hold still!” Aizawa says, grabbing his shoulder pads on one of the rotations. He reaches his hand up to smooth out the loose strands. They stick easily to the rest of their gelled up brethren. Yamada runs his hand over the spot Aizawa just touched, making sure it’s indeed intact.

“Thanks,” he says. “What would I do without you?”

“Mhm.” Aizawa hums, moving past him to leave the lab.

---

Saturday.

Aizawa’s alarm goes off at 12 PM and despite a full 8 hours, he still feels like he could sleep for 20 more. He hadn’t gotten back from patrol until 4:17 AM last night after some trouble with a gang of small villians who made friends with a troublesome girl who could control the wind. He still kind of felt like his ear drums were being buffeted with hurricane gusts. Aizawa slaps his hand down on the alarm to silence it and rolls over onto his back, rubbing at his eyes, then his temples, then just dragging his hands up and down his entire face.

Maybe I should just cancel plans with Hizashi.

As if summoned, his phone vibrates on the nightstand. Aizawa blearily reaches for it. The light blinds him for a couple seconds as his eyes adjust.

“Excited for the kitties? I am!”

Aizawa knows this is Yamada’s subtle reminder that he should get up. He rolls over to look for Mai, who he knows will be on the bed somewhere. He finds her curled up near his feet. He snaps a picture of her and sends it as his response.

“Perfect princess.” Yamada responds. A moment later, Aizawa gets another text.

“I’ll drive!”

Aizawa makes a face. He doesn’t have a car, which both Yamada and him know, but Yamada shares his with Imai, who typically uses it during the weekends to drive one town over for his production job. They’d been doing onsite shoots for some TV show for the past few months. While he worked in their town during the week, taking the train, Yamada always gave over his car for the long commute on the weekends.

“Is Imai done with that location shoot?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yamada replies, a thumbs up emoji accompanying it.

Deciding it’s not worth his effort, Aizawa gets out of bed to go shower and get dressed. He chooses some simple dark wash jeans and a black sweater for the day and lays them out on his bed.

---

Aizawa is lounging on his couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, waiting for Yamada. He glances at his phone again. The display reads 3:16 PM. He considers asking Yamada why he’s late, but figures if he’s in traffic, he doesn’t want to distract him.

He gets up to go get the book he’d been reading from his bedroom, making it halfway down the hall when his phone rings. He slips it out of his pocket.

“Hizashi?” he questions, staring at a picture of Yamada with his hair in a half-bun and a surprised smile spread across his lips as he claps his hands together in happiness. Aizawa had taken the candid photo a few years ago when they’d gone to a new specialty coffee shop for the blonde’s birthday. Aizawa had requested the barista draw a microphone surrounded by hearts and the words “Happy Birthday” into his latte.

He slides the answer button across the screen and holds it up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m so sorry!” Yamada’s words come out fast and loud.

“It’s fine, traffic is usually bad on Saturdays.”

“No, uh...I haven’t left yet.”

“Oh,” Aizawa responds, leaning against the wall. He hears Yamada sigh and some rustling on the other end. “Do you want me to just meet you there? I can take the train.”

“No. Shouta, I’m sorry,” Yamada says. Aizawa wants to tell him he’s getting really sick of apologies.

“You can’t come?”

“No…”

“Why?”

“Something came up-”

“No, Hizashi. Why?” Aizawa cuts him off.

There’s a long pause. Aizawa can hear Yamada breathing, then a thud that sounds distinctly like something hitting a wall.

“Haru.”

“What’s wrong with Imai?”

“Shit, Shouta.” Yamada hisses. Aizawa frowns. Yamada’s voice sounds desperate. “I...no. Let’s go to the cafe. I’m sorry, let’s go.”

“Hizashi.”

“Please,” Yamada begs. Aizawa’s chest feels tight. How could he say no to that?

“Fine, but let’s just meet there.” Aizawa suggests, not really interested in the forced privacy that comes with being in a car.

“Okay, I’m headed out now. I should be able to make the train at 3:30.”

“See you there,” Aizawa says, hanging up.

He stares down at his phone for a while. Aizawa drops his head back against the wall. It makes an alarmingly similar sound to the one he’d heard coming from Yamada’s side of the conversation. Aizawa feels like he’s back fighting the wind villain again. Yamada’s emotional state seemed to be changing by the second for the entire week. Aizawa couldn’t keep up.

Still, he’d try.

----

Yamada took a different train line than he did, so they didn’t bump into each other at the station. As Aizawa turns around the corner, he seems him leaning against the side of the cafe’s building, one leg propped up. He’s got his hair completely down, not even in a bun or braid. He’s wearing his clear glasses, some boots and tight, ripped black pants, and a simple maroon pullover with some band logo on it. His hands are stuffed in the front pocket and he’s staring at the ground. All and all, for Yamada, he’s unusually dressed down.

Aizawa crosses the street. He thinks about making his approach purposely loud to break Yamada’s attention away from the sidewalk and give the man enough time to put his fake smile on. It proves unnecessary. Yamada pulls his gaze away from the ground and does a quick look around his surroundings on his own.

“Hey!” Yamada calls, pulling one of his hands out of his pocket to wave at Aizawa. Aizawa nods at him.

“Hi.”

“Let’s go,” Yamada says, pushing the door to the cafe open before Aizawa gets within even four feet of Yamada. The blonde has to awkwardly hold the door until Aizawa reaches it, unwilling to pick up his pace.

Aizawa hands his punch card over to the hostess and waits for Yamada to fish his out of his overstuffed wallet. Aizawa notices the way his hands shake a bit as he hands it over to the woman.

A little calico cat rubs up against his leg and he bends down to pet its head. The cafe is mostly empty, just a few groups of people here and there, waving wand toys, or reading a book with a cat in their lap. The cafe is busier during the lunch hours than this weird half-afternoon, half-evening time they’ve chosen to come.

Yamada comes up beside him and coos at the calico, giving it a long stroke down its back and over its tail. They both straighten up and Yamada points toward a little alcove with colorful pastel pillows piled for sitting. It’s pretty far away from the few other people. Aizawa nods and follows Yamada’s lead, the little calico trailing behind them.

When they reach the alcove, Yamada flops onto the plush pile. Aizawa sits down more slowly beside him. He sits with his legs crossed and the calico steps in, circling twice, then curling up in his lap. He runs his hand down its back and scratches behind its ears. Aizawa looks over to see Yamada is stretched back on the pillows, arms lazily lying across his stomach, head tilted back. His long hair is everywhere and his eyes are closed.

They sit like that for a long while, the only sound the small purring coming from Aizawa’s lap. Aizawa thinks Yamada might just fall asleep here, but abruptly, he breaks the silence.

“We broke up,” Yamada says.

Aizawa’s hand pauses. The cat lets out a small unhappy meow. Question after question start immediately pouring into Aizawa’s head. There are too many to pick just one. He can’t figure out how to make his mouth move. How do words work, again?

“Uh,” is somehow all he manages to get out.

“Uh?” Yamada questions.

“What?” Aizawa asks, looking at Yamada. His eyes are still closed and his face is still pointed up towards the ceiling.

“I don’t know,” the blonde runs his hand roughly through his hair, making more of a mess of it.

Yamada laughs. Aizawa lifts his hand off the cat, afraid he’s just going to end up crushing it with the way his body is starting to lock up.

“I kind of thought you’d be happy...or something,” Yamada whispers.

Anger is starting to feel like a constant in Aizawa’s life.

“Happy?” he says, his voice rough and accusatory. “I’m not a dick, Hizashi. You just ended a two year long relationship. That’s a lot to deal with.”

“Yeah…” Yamada responds, finally opening his eyes. His head tilts slightly in Aizawa’s direction. He looks like he’s squinting, with how little effort he’s put into actually lifting his eyelids. His mouth is just a straight line. Aizawa stares at his unmoving lips.

“I’m not that desperate,” close though, Aizawa thinks, then continues, “I’m not going to just start trying to woo you.” Who says that would even ever work…

“Yeah, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thought that. I didn’t really...I...yeah…” Yamada rambles quietly, pulling a strand of hair through his hand over and over again.

Aizawa hesitates to ask it, but he really wants to know.

“Can I ask...why?”

“Why?”

“Why did you break up?” Aizawa rubs the back of his neck, feeling a bit uneasy, and like he’s pushing too far. Best friend or not, people had their boundaries. “You seemed perfectly happy before we got ice cream.”

“Oh...yeah. I don’t really know that I’m ready to talk about all the details...I just have a lot of things I have to sort through right now.” Yamada releases a big sigh. He slinks down further into the surrounding pillows. His green eyes shift away from Aizawa to look at the cat in his lap instead. “Haru...Haru was wonderful. I loved him, really, I did, but...something has been bugging me for a while now, even before we got ice cream. I think our fight in the car just...I don’t know...triggered something. Sometimes things felt perfect and sometimes...they just weren’t. Haru and I had a talk that night, and the next one, and the next one, and today…we’ve been talking for a while now. Before this week. Before this month...we’ve been talking and fixing and trying and...” Yamada trails off. Aizawa lets him take a moment to gather his thoughts.

“I’m just done talking, Shouta. I’ve got a big mouth, you know?” Yamada chuckles at his self-deprecating joke. Nothing Yamada just said settles well in Aizawa’s stomach.

“When you’re ready to talk, I’m here. I won’t tell you to shut up or anything. You can talk my ear off,” Aizawa offers.

“Of course I can…” Yamada says. Aizawa can’t ignore the way his lips almost look like they’re on the brink of a scowl.

“What?”

Yamada moves suddenly, rolling over, giving Aizawa his back to stare at. Aizawa watches one of his hands come up and over his side, tightly gripping his sweatshirt. Aizawa realizes he’s hugging himself.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Hizashi…” Aizawa starts, “Did you break up because of our conversation in the car?”

“Not...really. It was more than that. Like I said, this has been going on for a while.”

“But you seemed happy. Everything you said implied you meant to spend more time together...you said you wanted me to like him, you wanted to talk about him, you-”

“Shouta.” Yamada stops him, tone grave. “I never said I was the one who did the breaking up.”

Oh...

Oh.

Aizawa looks down at the cat, now sleeping happily in his lap.

He hears Yamada shift next to him.

“So...Sho,” he says. When Aizawa looks back, Yamada has turned around and is propped up on his elbows. The voice hero has an uncharacteristic pink hue spreading across his cheeks and nose. “I...uh. I lived with Haru.”

“Yeah…” Aizawa responds, not quite getting the point of bringing it up.

Yamada pulls at a loose string sticking out of one of the pillows.

“I gave up my apartment last year.”

“Yeah?”

Yamada pouts.

“So I don’t have anywhere to go.” he grits out, turning fully to face Aizawa now. He crosses his arms.

Oh.

“You want to stay with me?” It’s not an offer and he sees in the way Yamada glances away that he knows too. Living together would be weird. It’s too soon. There’s too much happening right now. Sure, they’d spent nights and weeks and even months at each other’s places before, just to hang out, to work on a case together, because one or the other was closer to a villain they were tracking, or their apartment needed repairs.

That was all before Imai.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Aizawa says.

Yamada nods slowly, a small, sad smile on his face as his eyes fall shut. Yamada flops back down onto the pillow pile, turning a little bit to lean into them. He spends a long time breathing into the pillows. Aizawa pets the cat again, giving him time.

“Where will you go?” Aizawa asks.

Yamada shakes his head.

Too soon.

Aizawa pets the cat some more and waits.

“Do you think Nemuri would let me stay with her?” Yamada asks after some time, voice quiet.

“Why not?”

“You know why not.”

“Hey,” Aizawa says, giving Yamada a hard stare, but the blonde is still focused only on the pillows. “Look at me. Hizashi. Look at me.”

Reluctantly, Yamada raises his head and looks at him.

“It is not your fault you loved someone else.” Aizawa says, then, “No, listen to me. No,” as Yamada’s mouth pops open, prepared for a rebuttal. “I can’t help that I love you and you can’t help that you love Imai. We don’t get to decide that. Nemuri is not holding that against you. You’re being irrational right now because you’re feeling vulnerable and upset…” Aizawa thinks about the way he was convinced Yamada was never going to speak to him again after he’d been rejected. Pain makes people crazy.

“You know she’s still your friend, you know that,” Aizawa insists. “She came up to you this week to tell you about some book she thought you’d like. You think enemies recommend best sellers to each other?”

Yamada shakes his head, laughing a bit. “No, I guess not.”

The blonde scoots over, closer to Aizawa, and reaches into his lap to scratch the calico behind its ears. It starts purring again. Yamada pulls himself in further, resting his cheek against Aizawa’s knee.

Aizawa tries to ignore the way his heart just went from calm to crazy in .02 seconds. Shit.

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

He might have acted all high and mighty, saying he wasn’t going to woo Yamada now that his relationship was over, but he was kidding himself if he thought his feelings for him weren’t going to get worse now that Yamada was technically available.

He’s upset, you idiot. He needs time. Besides, he never said he was interested.

Aizawa shakes his head a bit. Yamada looks up at him briefly, then back to the cat. Aizawa promises himself he’s not going to think about Yamada like that. He promises himself he will be a supportive friend, helping Yamada through this. He will wait. He will be understanding. He will listen to Yamada if he’s upset. He will let him take as much time has he needs to feel stable again.

He will.

Then, when that’s over...maybe…

Maybe…

Aizawa’s knee feels cold and a little damp. He looks down and sees Yamada’s eyes are closed, but he’s crying. Silent, constant tears sliding down over his cheeks and down his neck, marking his hoodie with little wet spots. The other side of his face is still pressed into Aizawa’s knee, all the tears soaking into the fabric before they really get much of anywhere.

Aizawa clenches his jaw. He hates himself for thinking about a future with Yamada right now, no matter how many months or years off his fantasy might have been from this moment.

He’s crying and heartbroken and I’m selfish.

Give him time, Shouta, give him time.

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