#I still feel extremely weak | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

minty-bubblegum · 7 months

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I had to do the pacer test today

#There was so much just rughtuururir #So yeah I'm pretty sure there's something wrong somewhere #No clue what it is #But I started tasting blood specifically in my throat #And I got below average 💔#I only could do 35 laps #AND MY LEGS ARE STILL SHAKING I TOOK IT AT LIKE 10 AM #I still feel extremely weak #Cus the way I was breathing was strange too #I'm okayish now so 😄#I felt as if I was gonna pass out #Thankfully I didn't 🔥🔥#FUCK YHE PACER TEST FUCK PE !!#Oh fuck I have to walk home

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storfulsten · 4 months

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Do you think BF would ever be able to convince Whitty to wear one of those cat-ears headband things?

mm well don't see why not lol

have a vaguely related-but-not-really doodle I guess bc why not ha

#bombeep #whittyxbf #slightly more actual answer: no matter what it is if bf is persistent enough whitty will probably cave eventually #bf being his one biggest weakness and all that ridiculously corny stuff lmao #and really a cat ear headband is really quite a mild thing to ask for and tbh I don't see why whitty would mind it much to begin with #au-wise at least lmao #so ye anyways #pose dumb and silly making it not really relevant to the ask itself but eh they got ears on I guess so hm #ye idk #not feeling very creative atm lol #ye they look silly with some parts being extremely lazy but ignoring that maybe it's a cute doodle still so eh good enough #take it or leave it #enjoy or don't #whatever floats your boat #fnf au #fnf shipping #boyfriend #whitty #bf #I draw what I want #ask is a few months old so ye sorry for late reply and all that but ye #thanks for the message #thanks for the suggestion #even if it wasn't really an art ask it sorta motivated me to doodle something anyways so thanks for that either way lol #stay groovy friendo

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quaggyday · 1 year

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I swear to god if they pull another “Zelda forgives her Father and Rhoam gets away scott free” crap in totk like they did in age of calamity I’m gonna go insane

I want to see her conflicted. I want to see Zelda fuming with 100 years of anger at her Father for basically dooming Hyrule. I want her to be filled with emotions, rage and anguish yet a sense of love for her Father that she can’t understand

I want her to be told whatever she feels is okay because her feelings are valid. I want to see her have her own identity outside of being Hylia’s ancestor and take control of the situation she’s in.

Basically my girl deserves something nice, Nintendo give her some story shit alright

Also again nobody put spoilers on hear I will rephrase again I will block and steal your kneecaps

#the legend of zelda #breath of the wild #botw #loz #tears of the kingdom #totk #age of calamity #aoc #botw zelda #Link #Rhoam bashing #nintendo #Im praying the story will be alright #Botw story is simple and a bit weak but still extremely effective #so hoping #also I dont consider aoc canon at all #just because it retcons way to much #I have way too many conflicting feelings about Rhoam as well

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brookheimer · 1 year

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okay. i need to rewatch the episode probably but i think my current feeling is that i like most of it a lot (rome, ken, the siblings not getting ceo, etc), think the tom ceo makes sense from a logical/character perspective but not sure how i feel about it from a broader more thematic lens (altho i'm leaning towards fine with it), and am very mixed on shiv's ending because i think it's well-conceived and meaningful from a broader thematic lens (shiv becomes her mother, the cycle always repeats, etc) but doesn't quite make sense to me from a logical/character one -- it could've worked, it could've worked brilliantly, but it was far too rushed and forced. it makes sense as an ending for shiv, but not her next step. i'm largely talking about her decision to return to tom, not her decision to vote against kendall (which i think should've been executed better and given more space but can understand given her character, mostly). i'm fine with it as an ending for shiv, but what i'm struggling to stomach is the way it played out -- it didn't feel like a choice the shiv we know would've made. it's an ending that makes sense thematically and for her character arc, but not a decision that makes sense for her character at present. that's kinda where i'm at right now

#long shiv post talking ab this upcoming lol #bc so far i haven't seen like any shiv takes i've actually agreed with #it's either entirely anti ending or pro ending #whereas like. to me the ending works as an ending for the character. it's tragic dark devastating but it works and works well #but shiv making that choice does not make sense for where she is right now. it was rushed writing that forced an ending on her #that would be a satisfying ending but not a satisfying character choice and thus NOT a super satisfying ending #could've been EXTREMELY satisfying. but shiv wasn't there yet. her fatal flaw is blowing up good situations when she feels she's being #disrespected -- she's respect > power when it comes down to it #even tho she thinks she wants power more she NEEDS respect and is unable to stay quiet or make the smart choice in the face of disrespect #or men thinking they're superior etcetcetc. so her making a choice that allots her power (wife of CEO) but is the singular least respecting #outcome imaginable (meekly returning to your husband who betrayed you and stole the job you've been fighting for your entire life right out #of your grasp alongside your closest ally/flirt guyfriend who tapped him to do it explicitly to fuck you over because you're a pregnant #woman and thus inferior to the man who inseminated you -- and EVERYONE KNOWS ALL OF THIS! everyone knows you're the daughter of #the previous CEO and on two separate instances were meant to be CEO and now the weak man you married publicly betrayed you TWICE #but you still meekly return to him and place your hand in his and have his baby like the good pawn you are...)#that does not make sense for shiv. if we saw some development on the power > respect front or had a few more scenes or episodes developing #shiv as someone who would choose to become her mother (powerful and rich yet a disrespected pawn) over literally anything else #given her fundamental fear of being disrespected than maybe this would've made sense. it could be a great meaningful devastating ending #but it's one that just does not track for shiv as we know her right now.#ok tags got long as always sorry LOL i'm gonna write a longer thing explaining my hashtag thoughts bc i haven't seen much i agreed w on thi #front yet oops. ok bye 4 now tee hee #succession #succession spoilers #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy

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boyywithluv · 1 month

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#having a creative rut feeling #gonna rant #im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well #and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that #like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw #but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it #i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh #idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make #and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame #but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset #im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay #bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know #I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content #multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame #but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't #vent ish

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autogeneity · 3 months

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asking chatgpt when I will feel better from being sick

#:(#it's been a week since I started feeling ill so not technically that long but ugh #funny enough I don't think I've used chatgpt at all yet #this is just a meme replacement for 'google search:'#anyway most of the observable cold symptoms are gone #but for some reason I still feel the same way like weak and tired and malaised #my body is not actively in pain but it feels like. tender?#and you know how when you drink extremely cold water and you feel it through its entire pathway #breathing feels like that like I can feel the air throughout moving against very sensitive tender innards #ordinarily by the time the clearest symptoms (e.g. running nose etc) have resolved I feel fine #I hope to god I have not been afflicted by long covid #m #whining #potentially I may also be somewhat undernourished #I have been trying to force myself to eat but it has been hard #everything is repulsive #I suspect also that lying in bed for a week and inconsistent with food intake has not been kind to my digestive system #which is in turn not kind to my appetite #Lots Of Walking seems essential to my gut function lmao

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hella1975 · 1 year

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by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

#when the angry character finally learns to acknowledge their rage not as its own problem but as a coping mechanism to the problem #& faces at once the relief of finding the source of all this anger & the horror of realising that the anger itself was never the final boss #and it leaves them in a depressive state where they actually MISS the anger because at least that was active and - in a sense - dignified #whereas this just feels stilted and mopey and like each day is passing and you're losing time doing nothing #but you cant shake it anyway and wow im no longer talking about zuko!!!! we stay embarassing ourselves over taob!!!!#like i realised just now while staring off into space stirring my tea that the reason this particular depressive episode has hit me so hard #(aside the fact it's been a pretty extreme one and my paranoia has rlly flared up to the point ive felt honest to god CRAZY lately haha)#is because it's so DIFFERENT to how i usually respond to feeling like this #like normally my temper gets very quick and i completely isolate and i get mean and sharp #and i convince myself that everyone is out to get me and/or hates me and therefore i must manipulate everyone in my life #and ofc NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE A GOOD RESPONSE. I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM #THEY ARE ALSO NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS HOW I USED TO BE HENCE I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER #SLOWLY PAINFULLY WITH MY NAILS DIGGING IN THE DIRT BUT I AM GETTING BETTER ALL THE SAME #but STILL despite how awful those things are they're also very external. like i hurt the people around me in order to protect myself #and there's a dignity to that. there's more control there even if ultimately it's a lack of control causing it #like i have some fucked opinions from my upbringing and ik that like im quite a selfish person and it's bc i was raised to truly believe #that hurting others is always optimal over letting myself be seen as weak. like if my options are to hurt someone even someone i love #or let myself be vulnerable then sometimes i STILL will pick the former (it used to be all the time though <3 progress is progress)#and anger has always been sold to me as a very dignified STRONG emotion and it's how you're SUPPOSED to respond to badness #otherwise you're weak and a baby and pathetic etc etc #and just bc you know something is wrong doesnt mean you didnt internalise the fuck out of it anyway #like i will always see anger as the 'dignified' emotion and unlearning it regardless of that has been one of the hardest things ive done #('wow hella your own journey with mental illness is the literal exact same as taob zuko's-' i will hospitalise the both of us)#whereas currently ive just been sad and pathetic and oversharing to anyone who will listen and desperate for someone to look at me #and be like 'you're not okay' and to fix it FOR ME. like im not ANGRY im SAD and im not used to that response #AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS THIS CHAPTER BY PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE?? LITERALLY WHAT #like it's been happening for a few chapters that we're finally moving from anger to sadness on my unofficial healing chart #ever since zuko's outburst with hakoda when zi se had that tantrum #but this is the first time we see Sad Coping Mechanism as a response to a problem instead of Angry Coping Mechanism #taob updates

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bravevolunteer · 1 month

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1:30am. plagued by thoughts of michael and everything going on in his tiny 10-13 year old head :(

#like obviously. problems and issues then on and before SKDJFMG #but yeah while a lot of his behaviors as a young teenager are influenced by home life (ranging based on portrayals but i always make sure #it’s got similar roots and feelings) as well as social standing a LOTTTTT OF IT is very extremely tied to mental illness that did not get #acknowledgement or treatment.. that was the age his very intense depression started to come in Swinging along with increased anxiety/panic #and. neurodivergence is still a greyer area because it’s definitely there in the way i write him but how it mixes with ptsd #(plus the question of how much of that is just. Me LMAO) always has me ??? about making the call i’ve talked about this #BUT YOU GET THE POINT THERE’S A LOT!!!#he’s gutwrenchingly depressed and in pain and has been TAUGHT by observance and emotional neglect and [insert other aftonisms here] to Bury #that and is so convinced his emotions are a sign of weakness and That’s Why He’s Not Good Enough so he compensates however he can #and there’s no excuse for what it snowballs into but ohh my god JUST GET THAT BOY ON SSRIS #he didn’t even have the words for so much of it but there were so many aspects of himself that he was utterly convinced made him wrong #his actions become as drastic as they do because it’s EVERYTHING around him reinforcing the root problem #how am i supposed to sleep when im sick about him #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

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sysig · 2 months

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And they both belong in ZEX’s hands ♥ (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #The Captain #ZEX #What no I'm not biased about particular ships what are you talking about #Me the self-proclaimed polyshipper who regularly ships contradictory pairings/throuples/and so on lol #To be completely fair - I do genuinely love Zelnick and Talana's dynamic it is Incredibly cute and made me cry hghh #Big Love is unavoidable! I am extremely weak to it!!#Still didn't stop the feeling of a kind of misplaced heartbreak lol - I know ZEX is non-monogamous and doesn't mind a lack of exclusivity #Emotions aren't strictly logical lol #As for ZEX I mean he also has two hands! One of them is just kinda - free-floating lol y'know ♪#Feeling things out if you will hehehe #The progression from ''!'' to ''!!'' to ''!!!'' was quite fun hehehe ♪ Somehow surprised every time! How silly <3 #Does ZEX need to be more obvious somehow? Can he even lol #Their dynamic is terribly cute <3 #Someone so affectionate and someone so easy to fluster hehe #Fun! :D

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vaugarde · 4 months

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as dissatisfied as I was with the aim to be a pokemon master miniseries i have to be grateful to it because it finally treated oshawott well

#i was still watching bw i believe and oh my god it was such a breath of fresh air to see him be treated well #like hes still goofy and gets into slapstick but it doesnt feel meanspirited at all #and the episodes resolution hinges on him and everyone thinking he's cool and imitating him #that was probably written by someone who either felt bad that they shat on oshawott so hard during best wishes #or someone new to the show who was upset that oshawott was treated so poorly that they decided to write a redemption episode #like. ill always be a little bitter that the show was so cruel to oshawott bc it was so weird and meanspirited #presumably just because someone on the staff really fucking hated that thing and wanted us to think it was stupid and annoying #ik ive said this before but thank goddddd they stopped picking a starter to bully by sun and moon #cause you KNOW they would have done it to popplio. you know good and well popplio would be getting jokes about how weak and dumb it is #theres a dark timeline out there where lana's eevee started beating the shit out of popplio and the show was begging you to laugh #''well that sounds extreme" except its NOT because thats LITERALLY the punchline with piplup in late dp #echoed voice

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running-in-the-dark · 6 months

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I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it

#every single time I love a character I also start to love the actor. sometimes that sucks. I don't want to. I want to pretend he doesn't #exist #but he's got the same face and the same body and the same voice and I just. how do I not do this.#I don't like him. I don't want to like him. he's at the very least kinda gross about women. which I'm not okay with. so. just. ugggh #it's just that I look at him and my mind shuts off and it's like 😍🥰😍#rationally I know that's also fine. I'm allowed to like people who aren't perfect (and no one is perfect anyway)#buuut. it makes me feel disgusting.#idk. I guess I just. i dealt with this for so long when I was younger because like. most of the men I thought were hot were also #misogynistic. because the culture at the time was so much worse. and it was just accepted.#and I fucking hated it and I don't want to deal with that anymore #it's just. idk. it feels gross and bad and I don't like it #but. I do find him extremely attractive and I want him so so bad and I don't know what to do with that #ugh I need to just. not be attracted to people. it happens so rarely but when it does it only causes trouble.#or maybe I need to get over these weird morality standards that I have but I don't think that's possible? like how would that work? I don't #get it.#anyway. yes this is about Eliot/CK no I won't elaborate on that and also I hope he's actually a great guy and everything I've seen #that made me think otherwise is just wrong #I will still stare at his face and think about him and listen to his stupid gross music all day. and I will enjoy it. but I will also #feel conflicted about it 😔#(but damn it he is hot and his arms are big and I am just a human being and I am very very weak 😫 big arms make me fucking stupid)

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lesbegays · 8 months

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yesterday we found a recently eclosed monarch butterfly that had clearly been attacked by a predator. it was leaking green fluid from a missing eye, a tear in its wing, and a hole in its abdomen. i’ve euthanized several injured or deformed butterflies in the past, but for some reason this one just really got to me. i swear it clung to my finger more intensely than any ever has before. and i know i’m anthropomorphizing but i really felt like it was scared and in pain and i’ve cried every time i’ve thought about it since

#it’s still in my freezer. i know technically stomping is the most humane way to euthanize but i can’t bring myself to do it #also i know so many scientists think insects can’t feel pain but i just don’t believe that #they can very obviously feel distress and that’s enough for me to want to minimize their suffering #i’d rather assume they do feel pain and be too kind than assume they don’t and cause unnecessary suffering #a close second was the time we had a black swallowtail that was just weak for no obvious reason and died within an hour of eclosing #just watching it keep trying to climb and fly and repeatedly fail and slowly get weaker was extremely sad #technically didn’t euthanize that one just watched it die #to be clear we don’t actively raise butterflies in captivity just the occasional caterpillar or chrysalis from plants we’re shipping #the monarch was actually not in captivity at all we just saw it outside

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strawbebyjam · 8 months

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realized i am uncomfortable admitting to people close to me if i’m feeling pain on more than one dimension GDJDHDH

#no i cannot tell you i am both sad and in extreme physical pain i have to choose one thing 4 u to care abt at a time 😠#but also i didn’t think i was this physically weak 😭#either that or the fall on the bus was worse than i felt like initially #but like. idk my elbow and finger hurt to move and my knee n head have been hurting since #but i already made a joke abt it being fine so #so it’s like. well i can’t. like. GDJDHDHD idk #don’t wanna leech on it #n it’s not particularly bad #but also it’s like. why did falling over Actually Hurt i’m not a child GDDNHDHD IDK IM. overthinking it #in any case. i was gonna say ive gotta work on opening up avout this stuff but also I Don’t Want To FDBDHDBDV #so not that #but. dunno #still embarrassed that i fell at all still feel weirdly conscious about it still hurts still sucks #oh well GDHDHDH #mano.mindtalk #neg #but also disclaimer it is actually fine i’m just dramatic because i’m heartbroken and childish + destructive part of my brain is winning

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homosociallyyours · 1 year

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Watched the final part of the VPR Reunion and wanna state my grossly unpopular opinion right out loud in the village square: I *do* feel bad for Raquel and I *don't* think Tommy Flip-flop has gotten nearly enough of the blame in this whole scenario.

And i kinda feel like in 10 years if anyone is bothering to look back on this, there will probably be a lot of "it was a different time, you can't blame anyone for being harsh on her" talk. I reject that shit right now.

#vpr #bravo posting #to be clear: I'm not talking about the reactions of the rest of the cast/friend group #they're allowed their anger and resentment and feelings #what i AM talking about is the response from bravo fans/fandom #i don't have it in me to breakdown posts based on who they're focusing on #but i feel like people have leaned hard into raquel bc she's easy to make fun of-- there's less parasociality #and so i think there's more uncomplicated hatred for her #but watching the reunion I've been struck again and again by how deeply under tom's control she is #and seeing her break down covering the timeline was a lie at the end-- after watching tom HARP on them only having fucked once #it felt so clear to me that he drilled into her that SHE was the one who would be hurt by admitting this #when the reality is that he was covering for himself #her having sex with him once was enough to make her a pariah #but for him-- there's a path back of you can paint your cheating as a single mistake that was the result of relationship struggles #but when you've fucked someone repeatedly while still sleeping with your gf of 9 years? yeah no.#this man is extremely manipulative and clearly preys on women he can coerce and control #and raquel was (is) weak. unstable. and in the middle of having her life change dramatically

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wholemleko · 11 months

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#full of so much vicious envy #envying the people who got to grow up and stay stable #I miss when I could read fast and spell correctly consistently #I envy the friendships that can somehow be extremely close while also remaining stable #I envy the people who can feel safe about other people #I don't even know how to put it into words #I envy the people who can hold a job #and the people who can do it in spite of the horrors #and I'm grateful I still have a roof over my head #but this rant is about feeling weak and pathetic in part #cause last time I tried to do a chore more intense than putting away a couple of dishes I spiraled #how am I supposed to live #i can't afford treatment #and I don't think those who have money they can spend on me see treatment as a necessity that is urgent #so what can I do anyways. rot #I envy the people who can just fucking live and still have a grasp on their own mind and abilities #and who are able to be normal about other people #feel normal about human connection #not be craving it desperately while fearing it violently #I want to be able to write like I used to #but I never want to love the way I used to love every again #I envy people who can enjoy something and not let it take control over their mind to an irrational and stupid degree #where things that at the end of the day do not matter in my life still make me go into fight or flight the instant I wake up in the morning #vent

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tovaicas · 1 year

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I think I have to really digest it a bit, but generally I really enjoyed ShB!

#spoilers #major spoilers #my opinions abt Eulmore's involvement still mostly stand tho.#I still think Vauthry and co. are the weakest part of the expac and that's before we get into the various Unfortunate Implications #I get the point is to highlight the forces keeping all in Norvrandt from working together for a better future and it works a bit better #in the endgame / but I still think they're *extremely* weak narratively in the early-midgame and there's a lot of...little annoyances #that I can't really ignore. but I've complained abt that enough to my friends already.#I really liked the back half a lot! like I said I liked the overall tone and the gradual development into the Scions being an actual team #that desperately actually care for you as friends rather than 'you're a colleague who gets foisted with all the work' pre-expac feeling #really works and I really enjoyed it. like I said I think I should really mull it around and digest it before I start having strong opinions #maybe get through the post-patches first. I don't know if I'll absolutely sing it's praises like I've seen some posters do but generally #I think it was a pretty strong expac. narratively anyway #sorry it's the writer brain curse I uh. have to sit here and pick it apart piece by piece #one thing in particular I really enjoyed was that no one zone really overstayed its welcome which was an issue in previous ones #(cough cough. ruby sea. cough cough)#saint plays ffxiv

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