#I repropose it again for the Pride month | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cals-sunflower · 3 years

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gonna get better (a.i)

summary: a relationship is worth way more fighting for then giving up.

“ashton, all i fucking asked was for you to be there! i’m basically living alone at this point. why can’t you see that i just want to spend time with you,” your voice slightly strained from yelling. this was the fourth fight that you had with ashton that week. nonstop you’ve been going at each other’s throats not caring about the words that could hurt the other.

“have you ever thought maybe i stay out with the boys because i don’t want to come home. that i’m tired of the same dumb shit,” his voice raising by the minute. your head dropped low while you nodded.

“so my feelings are dumb, huh?” the silence between you two was loud. your heart thumping against your chest. “you know that’s not what i meant or said.”

you sighed and looked at ashton who stood on the other side of the counter in the kitchen. “look maybe we should call off the-“

“don’t go there please. i don’t want to throw away our relationship because of petty arguments. i don’t regret proposing to you.”

“then what are we supposed to do ashton? we can’t keep going like this. we say words to hurt each other, we fight, and i don’t know how much more i can take.” ashton slowly walks over to you to pull you into a hug, instantly you wrap your arms around his waist.

“i think we need some time apart. then go to therapy to really work out our issues. what do you think?”

“as much as i don’t want to be separate from you, we probably should. ash i wanna get back to how our relationship used to be,” you looked up at him to see the tears in his eyes that matched yours. “me too honey, me too.”

your friends could tell the tension between you guys. you and ashton hadn’t told anyone in the group what was going on but it was painfully obvious. you guys no longer sat together cuddled up at hangouts, didn’t hold hands or even touch and most of all, your faces no longer held happiness instead letting the gloom take over. being away from him made it worse, he was so close yet so far.

to ash: i need you.

from ash: i’m on my way rn.

“are you okay?” upon hearing ashton’s voice, you immediately speed walk to hug him. “no, i don’t want to do the distant anymore. i need you more than ever right now,” he rubs your back letting you cry on his shoulder.

“i’m right here love,” you guys hugged for a few minutes just resting in each other’s presence and it felt good. it felt good to be near your fiancé in the most vulnerable state because clearly that was lacking.

“so what do you want to do?” he laid his hands on your cheeks, rubbing away any lose tears. “can we go to therapy together like you suggested? to really figure out what’s wrong. i missed you so much. we’re usually glued to the hip.”

“let do it. i mean it when i say i don’t want to break up over our miscommunication. you’re it for me and i missed you too.”

you woke up with ashton in the morning to head to the therapist. having a silent breakfast didn’t help any. it wasn’t that you felt awkward but you felt like anything could happen and next thing you know, you guys aren’t together anymore. you feared that.

“hey, you ready to go babe?” ashton’s hand rested on your back. “yeah yeah, sorry. ready when you are.”

“there’s no reason to apologize. i’m scared too if we’re being honest but we’ll never get better if we don’t get to the root of the problem.”

“i know,” you wrapped your arms around him to pull him into a hug. you hugged him as if you were gonna lose him.

“so what do you think actually went wrong in the relationship? y/n, you can go first.”

you let out a breath, “I feel like after he proposed, he stopped giving and putting in the effort to our relationship. it felt like he was basically saying ‘hey i got the girl. no need to do anything more’. don’t get me wrong, for the first two months it was amazing and now it just turned to shit.”

“ashton? what you feel about what y/n said?”

“i feel bad i made you feel like i don’t care. why didn’t you tell me?” you scoffed at his words.

“really ashton? i tried to tell you and you told me to fuck off.”

“i did not say fuck off, if anything i-“

“then why are we here ashton? we would not be in this mess if you would just listen to me.”

“don’t put this all on me, you’re just as guilty.”

“oh fuck you ashton, i can’t do this,” you wiped your face with the back of your hand and stood up to walk out the door. “yeah run, run like you always do.”

“me? you’re the one that pushed me away! you’re the one who refused to get vulnerable enough to talk to me.”

“i’m here aren’t i?! i’m here trying to fix what we have but look you’re running.”

“because you refuse to take any fucking responsability. do you even want to get married or did you just propose to me because you thought it would make me happy?”

the therapist didn’t know what to say, clearly there was more to it then just miscommunication. when ashton didn’t say anything, you thought you figured it out. and to be quite honest, you wanted no part in it.

“so you only proposed because you thought that would make me happy? i would have been happy without the ring ashton. i only wanted you,” you looked down at the ring before pulling it off and handing it to him.

“i can’t do this if you aren’t going to be fully in it. i love you ashton but i can’t do this. i can’t keep going with the back and forth. i guess call me when you’re ready? or not that’s up to you,” you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and walked towards the door.

ashton felt stuck, had he actually just lost possibly the best thing that happened to him. all because of his pride and he didn’t want to admit it was him out messed up. it was in fact him who pushed you away not the other way around.

the time you spent apart from ashton was a very hard healing process. you had to really work on your happiness again. you couldn’t stay in the house you once called home because it reminded you of ashton. it was the house you were going to build your lifes together in as one.

from crystal <3 - hey girly, me and si are gonna pick you up from work. we need a lunch date!

to crystal <3 - sounds good crys, i missed you guys :)

from crystal <3 - we missed you too lovely! can’t wait to see you

time flew by fast and before you knew it, sierra and crystal were there at your job picking you up for lunch.

“babes! c’mon we’re going to your favorite restaurant,” sierra pulled you into a hug laying a quick kiss on your cheek.

“it’s nice to see you guys too. man i missed you guys,” you pulled crystal into the hug too. you had isolated yourself from everyone in the friend group. you felt like it would hurt too much. but it’s been months since you seen them.

when you guys arrived to the restaurant, you seen all the guys but ashton sitting in the booth. you felt nervous, like you had abandoned your friends. immediately your eyes watered.

“no no, please don’t cry,” calum was the first to wrap his arms around you. “i’m so sorry.”

“there isn’t anything to be sorry for, we understand why you stayed away. it’s okay,” the other boys now joining your hug.

“i missed you guys.”

“we missed you too short stack,” you chuckled at luke’s nickname for you.

after the hug, you guys all sit down and catch up with each other. you wanted to ask where ashton was but it made you scared. scared that he moved on in those short months. scared that he didn’t want to pursue the relationship between you two again. you’d probably never be able to get over him. you’ve been together since you guys first met while they were writing youngblood.

“now, i hope you don’t mind and you can leave if you want to. but there’s someone who really wants to talk to you,” michael spoke making everyone else at the table stop talking.

“hi doll,” the voice you missed hearing. the voice to the person who has always been there for you. you turned your head and body towards ashton.

“hi ashton.”

you took the time to study his face and he did the same to you. you missed seeing his face in the morning when you woke up. the smile he gave you when you’d make breakfast together or even stay in bed.

“i’m so sorry for-“

you cut him off by hugging him and squeezing him tightly. you missed moments like this. he had really changed your life for the better and to not be with him killed you. he kissed the top of your forehead and mumbled apologies.

ashton let go of you for a moment to get on one knee like he did when he proposed to you.

“baby, i love you so much and i know i can’t ever let that love for you go. you’ve there for it all and i don’t want to let that go. i know i haven’t been the most present when i proposed.

i’m sorry i made you feel like you were alone in this. this isn’t me reproposing because i want to work on our relationship first but this my promise to you. my promise to a better person for you. my promise that you’ll never be alone again. honey i can’t do it without you. i’m sorry that i placed blame on you for my mistakes. and do not feel any pressure to take me back. it’ll hurt but i want you to be happy.

even if it’s not with me. i love you so much that-“

“you’re rambling,” you wiped your tears and kneed down to face him, “ashton irwin, i love you so fucking much and i missed you. thank you for even taking these months to figure out what you really wanted. I want to give you another shot because you really are the only one for me.”

it was like you’re friends didn’t matter in this moment, just the two of you getting lost into each other’s eyes.

“i thought you were going to move on if we’re being honest,” he wiped the stray tears from your cheeks and wiped his.

“move on from you? baby there isn’t anyone i rather be with but you. you’re my motivation. my sunshine on a cloudy day,” you chuckled at the corny words because it was your inside joke behind you two.

“i promise to communicate more and i can’t express more how sorry i really am.”

“we’re gonna okay now, right? you’re not going to isolate yourself from me again?”

“we’re gonna be okay my love. i promise to not do that to you again. and i want you to know, i proposed because i’m madly in love with you. i’m sorry i stopped putting in the effort.”

your friends felt happy for you guys. they knew how much you loved each other and couldn’t wait to see your rekindled love.

“is this the part where we kiss to seal the deal?” ashton laughed and nodded at you. he was quick to meet your lips in middle and place a kiss on them. “gosh, i missed that.”

“i missed that too sweetheart but i missed you even more,” he helped you stand up and brought you into a proper hug. you guys have a long way to go but you knew for sure that it was gonna get better from here on out.

#5sos #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin x reader #5sos imagines

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