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victoriareyloficlists · 3 years

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12 April 2021 Additions to Reylo Fluff

These fics have been added to the Fluff lists located in the following lists:

Fluff Part 1 Titles A-G

Fluff Part 2 Titles H-M

Fluff Part 3 Titles N-S

Fluff Part 4 Titlez T-Z

Zombie Run by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: During a charity run, Rey is relentlessly pursued by a zombie.) The Road Taken by gogoburritos (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey pulls a prank on her housemate Ben. She doesn't expect it to turn out so well.) Loose Change by spicytofuuuu (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "I ate your pizza. It was a desperate move. I'm sorry. Not proud of myself. Here is $4." An Oh-My-God-They-Were-Roommates, They-Have-One-Single-Shared-Brain-Cell fic.) just say you love me by darthswift13 (AO3 2021 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey gets drunk on Saturday nights and confesses her true feelings for her roommate Ben, only to forget on Sunday mornings. Will Rey ever be able to confess her feelings when sober?) r/Relationships by elle_reads (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's new roommate moves in just before a shelter-in-place order is issued. It's just the two of them—and Reddit, of course.) The Sublet by javajunkie (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Rose sublet their spare room to Ben Solo.) Knock Me Down by commandercrouton (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben gets a concussion thanks to Rey.) Love in the Language of Sweaters by SaintHeretical (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Corporate executive Ben Solo mocks holiday sweaters until he sees the delivery girl wear them.) You Need a Tutor by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 28 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is an engineering student who finds herself struggling with calculus. Desperate, she goes to the math tutoring center on campus for help. Meanwhile, Ben Solo is a grad student who's required to work a certain amount of hours in the math tutoring center. When Ben reluctantly offers to help Rey with her work, a relationship forms between them that neither are expecting.) Five Times That Ben Saved Rey's Valentine's Day & How She Forever Saved His by AnneAnna (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben makes a confession in his wedding speech: He knew he was going to marry Rey when he and Rey were 4 years old and she gave him a Valentine she made and colored herself. And 21 years later, he still has that Valentine.) Newspaper Hearts by Celia_and (AO3 2021 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “She made her Valentine’s cards. She tore hearts out of newspaper and glued them onto used envelopes and painstakingly wrote each child’s name. She probably spent days making them. And you know what she wrote on mine?” He doesn’t need to read it to know what it says, so he looks down at her instead, and the hand on her heart and the tears in her eyes. “Ben: You are OK. Rey.”) When the party ends by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey gets wasted at a frat party. Ben finds her, puts her in his room, where she's safe. Rey wakes in the morning after Ben comes out of the shower and nakedness ensues.) Fleeced by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: AU where Rey is a mechanic and Ben is her grumpy client. Ben is car shopping and asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend so the dealer won't screw him over.) My Sandwich by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Someone took Ben's turkey sandwich at work, he is infuriated and eager for revenge, until he finds out it was Rey then those feelings no longer exist.) Sleepyhead by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben, a mere himbo, tucks a stray hair behind Rey's ear in class. He knows he deserves the hot coffee in her hand to be thrown in his face and yet he gets a date. ) When You Know It by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben finds out his roommate Rey has never had someone to celebrate valentine's with, so he sends her 25 roses, one for every year she's been alone, in attempt to make her feel better.) Port in the storm by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey pretends to be afraid of thunderstorms so she has an excuse to sleep next to Ben. Ben figures it out when he races home early after seeing thunder, fearing Rey will be crying alone curled up in a ball, only to find her totally chill and eating ice cream.) Neighborly by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and her son move into a new apartment and meets her new neighbor Ben and his cute dog.) Tinder and Cinder by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey joins tinder after a long long dry spell due to her flatmate Kylo's derision, they argue about why and in a fit of jealousy Kylo screams out 'use me instead.') Traditions gotta start somewhere by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Christmas Tree vignettes of Rey and Ben over the course of their relationship.) All of my wishes came true with you by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Fantasy AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey works on a wishfarm for Plutt. One day after she's out of wishes, she catches the star of a man who wishes for an end to his loneliness. She pockets it and after a particularly rough day she grants it with herself.) Knot It by MotherofScavengers (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Omega Rey’s heat starts early, the Alpha friend who agreed to assist her is nowhere to be found. When she unexpectedly meets Ben, the delicious smelling Alpha offers his help...and his knot.) It's You by SpaceWaffleHouse (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey have been costars for years when the time comes for them to film their first kissing scene. Neither of them ever expected their soul marks to appear in the process.) Through the Years by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo and Rey Jakkson meet on the playground as children under unusual circumstances and quickly become best friends. This fic follows them through the years, showing glimpses of their friendship as it slowly progresses into something more.) I Hate You by orphan_account (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben has been in love with Rey for two years and so when she storms into his office he finally decides he can't keep it in any longer.) In Small Packages by DyadamDriver (AO3 2018 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: It was then that Ben realised three things. 1. He had never had a cat in his life. 2. He had no idea what these little things ate. 3. He had a crippling crush on his neighbour.) ignorance of etiquette by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Lady Rey Kenobi lives a life of pristine comfort and luxury on her family's estate in Chesire with her parents Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lady Satine Kenobi. When they receive word that an old family friend, Lord Benjamin Solo, is coming to visit, Lady Rey is reminded of how he tormented her as a child. She decides that she will prove herself not the same girl she once was in more ways than one.) heaven in hiding by blessedreylo (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They say it's impossible for a guy and girl to be "just friends", but Rey and Ben had managed to discredit that throughout their decade long friendship. What they both have is special, that people would often arrive at the conclusion the two were made for each other. He's her safe haven, her rock. She gives him a sense of clarity and direction. Ben and Rey know each other more than anyone ever possibly could. Therefore on Valentine's Day, their friends decided to secretly set them up together on a blind dinner date.) a quiet storm by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey gets off to Kylo Ren, a popular audio erotica account online. She hasn’t been on a date in so long until her friend Rose sets her up on a blind date with her boyfriend's coworker, Ben. They seem to be hitting it off and finding that they have a lot in common, but she can’t help but think that he sounds so...familiar.) key to the kingdom by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Princess Diaries AU, Quick Synopsis: Most girls get a drunk weekend in Vegas for their 21st birthday, but Princess Rey Kenobi gets the chance to rule the country of Alderaan. But the only way she can become Queen is if she marries a man in 30 days, or the throne goes to the selfish (and annoyingly attractive) usurper Lord Benjamin Solo. Will Rey be able to ascend to the throne or will it all just become a royal pain in the ass?) fueled by fire by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben annoys the hell out of Rey when he tries to write passive aggressive notes about where she leaves her stuff. Rey pisses Ben off by being loud and picking a fight whenever she wants. Being neighbors for the last five months has been interesting to say the least. Their little rivalry comes to a crescendo when their hate for each other turns into another kind of passion.) 1 April Fool by Maloreiy (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "Honk! Act like you know me! My name is Ben!" Rey sees the sign on the car when she pulls up to the grocery store, and decides to play along. The giant, surly man, apparently named Ben, is not amused.) when I look to you by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 7 Chapters, Harry Potter AU, Quick Synopsis: Best friends since Year Three, Gryffindor's Ben Solo and Rey Niima navigate their final year at Hogwarts. When exposed feelings and unrequited romance get in the way of their friendship, they wonder whether they'll survive the school year.) Dreaming of Hope by adamsackleriskyloren83 (AO3 2019 Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Canon AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren goes to bed one night only to awaken as Rebel Pilot Ben Solo. Discovering that not only is Rey his wife, but he is also the father of a toddler(s) son/daughter.) Talk Nerdy To Me by andabatae (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Grad student Rey is addicted to watching nature documentaries narrated by the mysterious Kylo Ren. In fact, listening to him recite animal facts is her favorite masturbation inspiration. One day, the poetry class she TAs for has a guest lecturer: Ben Solo, a large, cranky man with gorgeous hair, adorable glasses... and a very compelling voice.) Everything You Are by kereia (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Canon AU, Quick Synopsis: But the thing she loved most of all, the thing that she was downright addicted to, was the way Ben reacted whenever she touched him.) Eggplant Emoji by trasharama (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A desperate Rey seeks refuge in Poe and Ben's spare bedroom. Ben didn't know she was a girl when he agreed to the roommate trial period--and now she won't stop sexting him? Climb aboard the Smutty McSmuttSmutt train!)

#reylo #reylo fanfic #rey #ben solo #kylo ren

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rune-writes · 3 years

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Unbreakable Bond

Fandom: Persona 5

Ann Takamaki Week 2020 » Day 5: Birthday

Word Count: 4704

Rating: G

Summary: Six months after Shiho's accident, Ann still could not forget the sight of her friend’s crippled form on the ground. All she wanted was for Shiho to be healthy again so they could have fun like they used to. On Ann's 17th birthday, Ren prepared a surprise for her.

Note: A belated happy birthday to Ann!!

Read on AO3.

~*~*~*~*~

Ann was reading a fashion magazine on her bed when her phone vibrated, beeping once. She reached for it, patting her bed and the sides of her pillow. Where was it? Her phone was nowhere to be found, so she looked up, and saw light shining from the top of the stackable cube shelves next to her bed. She grabbed her phone and checked the notification. One message. From Ren. The smile came unbidden as Ann unlocked her phone and clicked the message.

‘Happy birthday!’ it said, followed by party-face emojis and birthday stickers. The time stamp beside it read 12:02 AM. Her grin only grew as she struggled to keep her composure, rolling over to her back and holding her phone over her head.

‘Why aren’t you asleep?’ she asked.

‘Why aren’t you?’

Ann snorted a quiet laughter. Would it kill Ren to be honest sometimes and say he wanted to be the first to wish her a happy birthday? Not that she would admit she’d been waiting for his message either.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked then.

Ann grinned. ‘Texting you.’

‘On your bed?’

‘Yep.’

There was a momentary pause before he said, ‘Do you have plans after school? Wanna go somewhere?’

There it was—the question she’d been waiting for. Ann had kept her afternoon open for this very reason. Her grin threatened to swallow her face whole as she typed, ‘Are you asking me on a date, Ren?’

Another pause. ‘Maybe.’

Cheeky. Ann laughed under her breath. ‘Alright.’

***

Ren’s invitation was the only thing occupying her mind the entire morning. She wondered where they would go. Sharing a parfait at a cute cafe would be nice. Or maybe they’d go to the movies? They could eat a fluffy cake at a pastry shop. What if, at the end of their date, Ren surprised her with a present? Not something huge, but something unexpected. And then he’d walk her home, his hand holding hers, and once they reached her porch, his eyes would bore into hers in that way that made her stomach twist and knot before he’d lean into the gentlest kiss he had ever given her. The thought already made her heart race and cheeks burn.

Her phone vibrated again inside her bag while she queued in front of the subway escalator. She had put it on silent after the incessant beeping on the train ride to school. Her friends had flooded their group chat with birthday wishes and promises to hang out. A birthday party at Leblanc after school, Ryuji had said. But Ann already had plans, and when she’d said so, Ryuji and Futaba had bombarded her with questions: what plans? With whom?

Ren was conveniently not on. Ann wondered if he was doing it on purpose. It wouldn’t be a stretch to think he was waiting for her somewhere at the station, smirking to himself as he watched their group chat notifications come in.

When her phone vibrated again, Ann exhaled a quiet sigh and fished her phone from inside her bag. If Ryuji still spouted nonsense about how no one in their right mind would date a girl like Ann, she would give him a piece of her mind once she cornered him at school. However, it wasn’t Ryuji’s name that greeted her eyes. Ann’s eyes widened when she beheld the name displayed across her phone.

‘Happy birthday, Ann!’ Shiho said in her message. ‘Wish you all the best. Sorry we can’t celebrate together like we used to, but I’m sure Ren-kun has prepared something amazing for you. I’m still doing well on my rehab. The doctor said I’ve improved a lot. Not enough to do any sports yet, but I hope we’ll get to see each other soon.’

Her fingers twitched, and she clutched her phone tight. Shiho always wished her a happy birthday before school. Then Ann would find a cute little present hiding in her shoe locker or desk drawer. Shiho would throw her arms around her from behind with a beam spreading from ear to ear as she asked her where Ann wanted to go or what she wanted to eat. A part of her expected that to happen now, grinning with glee as she read the message, before she remembered that Shiho was no longer at her school.

‘Thanks, Shiho,’ she typed her reply, then her fingers wavered over the keys, her lips quirking up in quiet delight. If Shiho’s health had improved, the time they’d be able to hang out might be closer than she thought. She’d set to type something, anything—that’s amazing news, Shiho—when the image of Shiho’s crippled body on the ground flashed across her mind.

It’s your fault.

She froze in her tracks, her hands on her phone becoming still.

“Hey.” The sudden hand on her shoulder made her jump. A figure stood beside her—a figure in her school uniform. Sunlight reflected off a pair of glasses as Ren peered into her eyes. But then his smile faltered at her lack of response. “You okay?”

“Huh?”

“You kind of spaced out.”

Ann blinked—once, twice. “Sorry, I was—” The rush of traffic on the other side of the sidewalk startled her. She looked back behind her shoulder and found the subway exit standing some thirty feet away. She glanced at her phone, then quickly typed her reply. She’d already sent it and stashed the phone back inside her bag before Ren could take a peek at it.

“Were you waiting for me?” Ann asked instead, adjusting her bag straps around her shoulder.

Ren’s gaze was searching, but when Ann said nothing, he didn’t press the subject. He nodded down the pavement toward their school. “Let’s go,” he said, his lips breaking into a small smile.

***

“It’s from Shiho,” Ann said later that day. On lunch break, she sat on her desk, leaning against the window while she ate the melonpan she’d bought at the cafeteria. The sweetness exploded in her mouth. Ren’s dark gray eyes flitted upward, meeting hers for only a moment. “The text message I received this morning. She wished me a happy birthday.”

“That’s nice.” Ren responded with a nod, taking a bit bite of his tuna-flavored rice ball.

Ann waited for more, but no other answer came. “That’s it?” she asked.

“What else?”

She didn’t know. Some kind of surprised reaction, maybe? Or asked how Shiho was doing?

“She’s your best friend,” Ren went on. “You try not to show it, but I know how much you miss her.”

Ann pursed her lips into a thin line. She averted her gaze to her bread now held on her lap.

“How is she, though?” he added.

“Good, it seems, at least from her texts.” Amazing, in fact. Now she just needed to wait until the doctors let Shiho travel. Or, wait, she had a better idea. Ann turned around in her seat and fully faced Ren. “Do you think we should go see her?”

“What?”

“She’s been pestering me to visit, saying there’s a confectionery store with all manner of sweets near her school. She said they’re really good.”

Ren chuckled. “Do you wanna meet her or do you wanna eat some sweets?” he said. Ann responded with one of her own, leaning back against the window.

“Do you remember when I told you about Shiho?” she asked.

Her voice was quiet under the cacophony of her classmates’ gossips and talks. She hoped her voice reached no one but Ren. From the corner of her eyes, she could see she had his full attention.

“We only met in middle school, but it always felt like I knew her my entire life. She was this weird girl, quiet. While everyone avoided me, she just... randomly struck a conversation with me, saying my painting sucked.” The memory prompted a wry grin spreading across her face. “My parents were always away, so my house was always empty. When Shiho learned about this, she started taking me to all sorts of places. Pastry shops. Bakeries. These cute accessory stores or just shopping for clothes. Sometimes, I go with her to visit some sports stores or help her practice before big games. I never missed her games...”

Ann trailed off. It seemed like it was just yesterday when they were perusing the stores in Shibuya’s underground mall. Shiho had never tasted the buffet’s chocolate fountain either. When Ann went to visit her, maybe she could bring Shiho a crepe from that stand in Central Street Shiho loved so much. The small pang in her heart returned, clenching a little tighter.

After school, Ann refrained herself from pestering Ren to tell her where they were going. It was going to be a surprise, and she was content to let it stay that way. They rode the train to Shibuya and hopped off at the station. She half-expected Ren to lead her out and into Central Street, but they headed for the Keio Inokashira Line, where they boarded another train heading for Inokashira Park.

“We’re going to Inokashira Park?” Ann asked once they boarded the train and found an empty spot between a man in a suit and a woman carrying groceries.

“Yep,” he replied, but didn’t elaborate.

That was unexpected, though Ann wouldn’t say she minded going there. It had been a while, and strolling through the vast park under beautiful autumn leaves might be a great way to spend her birthday.

The ride took 20 minutes, give or take. They descended from the train, then exited the station to a quiet residential area. The park lay only a short walk away. Over a stone bridge crossing the river, trees with gold and brown leaves lined the path on both sides. Ann breathed in the crisp afternoon air, cool against her lungs. She always loved it here.

“So,” Ann said, turning around on her side and peering into his eyes. “What’s the plan?”

“Want me to tell you, or would you prefer it be a surprise?” He’d kept walking with hands in his pockets, his lips curving into the beginning of a smile.

Ann grinned. “Surprise me.”

Ren grinned back.

The first agenda of the day was a swan boat—one of the top tourist attractions of the park. Ren had apparently accompanied Yusuke on a ride once, where several people had thought them a couple. He had wanted to ride it with Ann after that. But when the rental place came into view, standing in the distance over the bank of the large pond, Ann ground her feet to a halt. Legend had it that the Goddess Benzaiten would curse any couple who rode the swan boat together. They would break up shortly thereafter.

“You really want to ride the boat?” Ann asked.

Noticing she had stayed back, Ren paused on his steps, tilting his head in genuine inquiry. “Why?” he asked. Ann refused to say why, partly because it was a ludicrous legend, partly because she feared the legend might come true. Understanding dawned on his face when she said nothing, and Ren pulled his lips into a teasing grin. “What, you’re afraid of some superstition?”

There were valid reasons one should be afraid of it. What if something bad truly happened to them and they broke up?

“If something bad truly happens and we break up,” Ren went on, “you can just blame the curse and forget all about me.”

Ann scoffed, feeling his reply was ridiculous enough to lighten her mood. “I could never forget you,” she said. Her answer brought a smile to his face, and Ren reached out to take her hand.

“That’s why I’m saying we should get on the boat and prove the legend wrong. Besides, would you really let some curse get between us?”

The answer was obvious as Ann felt her lips pulled into a quiet grin. He tugged her hand, then led her to the boat rental place.

It was her first time riding the boat too. It seemed fun, but she never had the chance to ride it. “Next time” had been her reason. If she thought about it now, there were no particular reasons behind it. Why? She could’ve ridden on it with Shiho if she wanted. Had Ann ingrained the curse so deep in her mind that she became incapacitated because of it? Because even without the bad luck, her life had already been a hell of its own.

People had shunned her. Some had even bullied her. She’d tried not to let it get to her, but for a twelve- or thirteen-year-old, peer pressure had been enough to corner her and make her think of the worst. Should I dye my hair black and wear contact lenses? If I look like everyone else, people may start to like me. These thoughts had spiraled down in her mind with no signs of stopping. She was always alone; her parents were never home. She had no one to depend on—until Shiho, but even that light only lasted three years before she was taken away from her.

Paddling the swan boat was harder than it looked. And with a difference in strength, it was hard to coordinate their movements. Ann would think their time in the metaverse had strengthened her muscles, but that did not seem like the case.

“You don’t look like it, but you’re pretty strong, aren’t you?” Ann said, huffing and puffing her breath.

Ren wasn’t entirely active in gym class either. He wasn’t the strongest nor the fastest. When the boys played soccer or basketball, he would always sit back. “I hate breaking a sweat,” he’d said once. Yet every time they were in the metaverse, he always looked like he was ready to show off.

Ren chuckled under his breath. “I’ve been going to the gym. Morgana nagged me to strengthen my muscles.”

Figures. The cat was behind everything. She should follow his example and visit the gym more often.

Wait—

“Where is Morgana?” Ann hadn’t seen him since morning.

Ren’s smile was wry. “When I told him I’ll be going on a date with you, he turned around and flicked his tail at me.”

“Poor guy. You should buy him something. What about sushi?”

“I should buy you something.”

Ann clicked her tongue in irritation then stared him down, her eyes hard. “You never gave him those tuna sushi, right?” He never did, from all the way back in August—Ann knew. Ren quickly relented, averting his gaze and finding some interesting spot to observe on the water. “It won’t be the high-end sushi bar like in Ginza, but I’m sure there are some delicious ones around here.”

“Then,” he said, “we’re having sushi for dinner.”

***

Massive trees lined the pond on either side. In the spring, pink and white sakura petals decorated the trees in its transient beauty. Ann often sat on the benches, under the awning of the low-hanging branches and overlooking the pond. She imagined that rowing a boat in the middle of it would feel like traversing through a forest. The thick foliage obscured the view of passers-by and park-goers, making it seem like she was in a dreamscape or fantasy, where there was only herself and nature.

That was what Ann felt now that she was sitting on a boat in the middle of the pond. But instead of sakura, the trees were now lined with gold and red and yellow with a dash of green here and there. They had stopped paddling, resting their legs. They’d gone quite far, their boat rocking between the gentle waves. Late sunlight dappled across the water surface. When a cool, crisp wind that brushed past her skin like a soft caress against her face, Ann watched the water rippling along with it. By the bank, leaves danced in the wind, swirling and dipping and soaring high until they flew out of sight.

“Having fun?” Ren asked. Ann nodded, drawing a quiet, contented breath. She felt his smile more than she saw it, before he shifted his gaze away and said, “I heard you’ve been wanting to ride the boat.”

That caught her attention. She turned to him.

“Who did you hear it from?”

“Shiho.” The answer rolled easily off his tongue, as though it was apparent. If Ren were any other person, Ann would have thought he might have heard it in passing or from Shiho herself. But he barely knew Shiho—barely talked to her before the incident in April—so how could he have known? He didn’t give her a chance to ask before he glanced behind his shoulder and said, “The sun almost set.”

The far eastern sky had grown a deep blazing orange while the sun made its slow descent behind them, sending out the last of its rays before dipping under the horizon. Ann swallowed her question as she moved to paddle alongside Ren to turn the boat around. They’d gotten the hang of it, finding the perfect rhythm between his paddling and hers. They reached the rental space by the time the sun completely disappeared.

Hand in hand, they headed for the gate leading toward Kichijoji. Various kinds of stores stood on both sides. From second-hand boutiques to chic cafes, furniture stores and handmade accessory stores. Ren’s focus had been on his phone for a while, typing one-handed as text message after text message came with each vibration and incoming beep.

“Who’re you talking with?” Ann asked.

“Hm? Oh, Sojiro.” The slight pause had tugged her curiosity, but when he met her inquiring gaze, Ren only said, “He’s making sure I don’t go home too late.”

That was nice, Ann thought, to have someone to worry about when he would get home. She didn’t have anyone like that.

Ren messed with his phone for a while longer. When Ann peeked, she noticed the map open on his screen. ‘Sushi bar’ was the search item and several red dots had appeared. Ren clicked and unclicked each dot, reading the descriptions and the reviews left on it, until he finally decided on a place and led her to it.

His phone beeped again. Another incoming message. Ann glanced at him right as Ren sent his reply.

“Boss again?”

Sojiro didn’t seem like the type to worry so much. Hadn’t he let Ren out on nights? Ren’s ambiguous nod only fed her suspicion that he was hiding something. She opened her mouth then, about to say something, when they rounded a corner and a voice she hadn’t expected to hear reach her ear.

“Ann.”

Ann froze.

Soft and meek, it was a voice she hadn’t heard in person for months. The last time Ann heard it was when they brought her to the school rooftop before she moved away. Ann slowly turned around in search of the source, and there, some twenty feet ahead, was a person she hadn’t expected to see. Dressed in a navy-blue jacket and white cropped trousers, her black hair tied in its usual ponytail, Shiho’s features lit up by the smile blossoming across her face. She held her hand high above her head, waving at her excitedly.

“Aren’t you going to say hi?” Ren asked when Ann failed to react.

He was beaming, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. Did he know? Did he plan this? Nonsense. Didn’t he know how far Shiho’s home now was? How had she even gotten to this place? On a school day, no less. Then there was her message that morning. Sorry we can’t celebrate together like we used to. Shiho wouldn’t have said that if she’d planned to come. She wasn’t the type to surprise Ann like this. But—

I’m sure Ren-kun has prepared something amazing for you.

Ann slowly shifted her attention to her still-beaming boyfriend, who was nodding his head toward Shiho as if trying to say, go on. Go to her.

“Did you plan this?” Her voice was only above a whisper.

He replied with a shrug and a knowing smile. Maybe he thought this was what she wanted, and maybe it was—she’d said so herself; she wanted to meet Shiho. But as Ann loosened her hold on Ren’s hand and all she wanted was to cross the distance and hug Shiho with all her might—because Shiho was here! She’d travelled all the way here!—Ann found herself hitting Ren’s arm instead. Again and again and again—hitting him with a fist as, one by one, tears rolled down her cheeks.

Why did he bring Shiho here? Didn’t Ren know her friend was still in recovery? Didn’t he know she was still going to rehab every week? Ann knew, because Ann had been in touch with Shiho every other day. They’d texted each other and called each other. Ann knew everything that was going on in Shiho’s life as though she lived it herself. And Ann knew that every day was still a struggle, even though Shiho had said she could almost do everything by herself now. But almost was still not one hundred percent everything. Her physician praised her for improving so much in so little time, but they’d told her to not push her limit. And travelling was clearly pushing the limit.

What if something bad happened to Shiho on the way? What if Shiho could never return to how she once was?

Arms wrapped around her. Shiho rested her cheek on Ann’s shoulder, warm tears seeping into her school blazer.

“I’m alright, Ann,” Shiho whispered to her ear, over and over like a mantra. “I’m safe.”

***

“I’ll leave you two to catch up,” Ren said before he disappeared from the bar. Ann watched him leave from their seat by the corner. They’d ordered several sushi sets, Ren promising to pay for everything. From his part-time jobs, he’d explained to Shiho. Though there was probably some truth to his words, Ann knew most of it came from their Palace pilfering.

Silence descended, broken only when Shiho said, “Don’t blame him too much, Ann.”

Ann glanced at her friend before shifting her gaze to her hands. “I’m happy you’re here with me now, Shiho, but…” She shook her head. “Once we return, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. How could he have thought of bringing you all the way back to Tokyo?” If their sushi had arrived, Ann imagined she would have taken out her irritation on them. It’s not that she disliked Shiho’s presence. Just that…

“I wanted to.” Shiho’s quiet reply drew Ann’s attention to her. “I want to celebrate your birthday with you. And more than anything, I wanted to show you how well I’ve gotten.” Her lips quirked into a small smile, brightening her features. “And it’s not like I went alone. Mom’s here somewhere.”

“Your mom?”

Shiho gave a self-deprecating chuckle. “I got an earful, though.”

“Serves you right! If you wanted us to meet, I could’ve gone to your place instead. In fact, we were just talking about that this afternoon.”

“But that wouldn’t have been a surprise.”

A muscle twitched along Ann’s jaw as Shiho let out another light laugh. Ann clenched both of her hands on the table, gritting her teeth at her friend’s nonchalant attitude.

“Don’t overestimate your body, Shiho, please. Didn’t the doctor say you shouldn’t push yourself? You’re not your one hundred percent yet. What if something irreversibly bad happens? Yes, it’s great to hear your health has gotten better and I can’t wait to hang out with you again, but—”

Shiho’s crippled form flashed across her mind. Her throat closed up; tears sprang in her eyes as Ann furiously blinked them away. When she spoke next, she couldn’t hide the tremble in her voice:

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” If Shiho’s rush to return to her full potential backfired, Ann didn’t know if she could forgive herself.

The server brought their sushi with three glasses of cold green tea. Ann averted her gaze, brushing at a stray tear as she took out her phone and mumbled something about telling Ren the food had arrived. However, before she could, Shiho’s hand encompassed hers.

“Do you still blame yourself?” her friend asked.

Ann went still. “I don’t,” she said, even as her heart clenched tight and her breath caught in her throat.

“It’s not your fault, Ann.”

She knew that. She thought she did. That was why Carmen woke up from inside her. But then there were moments when she lay in the dark, when thoughts she never knew she ever had kept her awake the entire night.

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. You should’ve noticed the signs. You should’ve known she was suffering. Even if there had been nothing you could’ve done, you should’ve been there for her at the least. You’re her friend! Why had you let her feel so alone, so cornered, that the only consolation she could find was on the other side of the rooftop ledge?

Shiho pulled her into her arms, whispering soothing words to her ear. “It’s alright. It’s okay. I’m fine. It’s not your fault, Ann. It never was.”

The dam broke. Ann clutched onto Shiho’s back as tears she never realized she had held streamed down her face.

***

Maybe it was an excuse—checking up on Shiho, or going to the sweets store near her school. All Ann ever wanted was to see her friend healthy again so they could have fun like they used to.

When Ren returned to his seat, Ann ended up giving him a piece of her mind. A little more nagging and scolding and refusing to speak with him for the rest of the day. Shiho joked that it must have been Benzaiten’s curse, at which Ren laughed and Ann frowned.

“We’re not breaking up,” Ann said with certainty.

Shiho and Ren looked at her in surprise, after which Shiho said to Ren, “You heard her, Ren-kun.” They snickered at Ann’s expanse.

Shiho’s mother had gone to Kichijoji’s shopping arcade before she went to pick her daughter up at the sushi bar. Ann drew an internal sigh of relief when she saw no signs of vexations on her face as she greeted Ann with a smile. When the girls introduced Ren, however, there was a frozen stillness to her features that even made the unflappable Ren break out in sweats.

They waved her goodbye, but before they turned around the corner to wherever her mother parked her car, Shiho turned around once and shouted, “Come over sometimes, okay?” Shiho beamed, waving her hand high, then disappeared from view.

“You heard her,” Ren said. She did.

Ren offered his hand, but Ann only spared it a glance before turning her back on him and heading down the opposite direction from Shiho. Ren fell into step beside her.

“I’ll walk you home,” he said.

“No need.”

“Even so.”

Night had fallen. Lights flickered along the storefronts and windows. Conversations floated around as they walked in silence between passers-by in the shopping district.

As they turned the corner and headed back toward the park, Ann murmured, “Thanks.”

She’d acted strong—acted like she had accepted everything. That was never the case. A part of her—an insecure part of her—always came in the middle of the night to whisper despicable things about herself. Fake. Impostor. She only joined the Phantom Thieves because she felt guilty about Shiho. She’d sought to change the hearts of vile adults so no one would have to suffer like her again. It was true, but that was only half of the truth. In all honesty, Ann wanted to seek forgiveness. A redemption. If she accomplished many good deeds, maybe the Gods would hear her prayer and give Shiho her health back.

As the park came into view, Ann felt Ren’s gaze on her. She still refused to meet it, but let her face break into a tiny crack of a smile. The twinge of pain in her heart gradually subsided, leaving her feeling liberated, as though a heavy weight had been lifted off her mind.

~ END ~

#ann takamaki #ren amamiya #shiho suzui #shuann #renann #persona #persona 5 #fanfiction #persona fanfic #p5 fanfic #annweek2020

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caiminnent · 4 years

Text

not designed for the cynical [kylux with side phasma/rey, rated T]

PROMPTS: communication suddenly cut off (@badthingshappenbingo, 8/25) & bed sharing - pet - delivery (@kyluxxoxo)

SUMMARY:

Whenever Snoke calls upon only Ren’s service, Hux sends word to all his relevant contacts that he’s available. The job offer he accepts turns out to be far more than he's bargained for.

(This is a low-key Inception AU that requires little to no knowledge of the movie.)

FANDOM: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

TAGS: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Sharing a Bed, Mutual Pining, Alternate Universe - Inception Fusion, except not really, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related

NOTES: This was written mostly during commute and/or sleep-deprived within an inch of my life and edited under the same circumstances. As such, I don't have the faintest clue what this is, but I love it.

5K || ALSO ON AO3

Hux isn’t prone to worry.

He is prone to stress, and he’s got the blood pressure to prove it—but that’s a necessity of the life they lead. It’s got its uses. Worry, however, is for when you don’t have an alphabetised, colour-coded list of plans for every situation that may arise. Worry is for the under-prepared.

Worry is a waste of time.

Knowing this doesn’t stop the fist around his heart from squeezing tight every time he hits redial and finds Ren’s phone still switched off, however.

Then again, there’s no real reason to worry about it. It’s a perfectly Ren move to go off the radar for weeks on end and turn up three countries away from where he was supposed to be, shrugging off all reprimand like he can’t understand why they’re so angry about it. It’s just what he does—he disappears, then he shows up at your doorstep when you least expect it.

He will this time, too. He promised—he will be back by Hux’s birthday.

----------------

Contrary to the popular (re: Ren’s) belief, life doesn’t stop just because Ren is off doing what Ren does somewhere else.

Even with all the safe houses and personas they maintain all across the world, the unreasonable amounts of money Snoke throws at them to be at his beck and call is more than enough to keep them afloat. Ren would be fine with not taking another independent job ever again; but Hux knows better than to rely on Snoke alone. He’s been burned enough times by fickle employers; he’s not ready to bet on the wrong horse and have to build his reputation up from scratch yet again.

That’s part of why, whenever Snoke calls upon only Ren’s service, Hux sends word to all his relevant contacts that he’s available. It keeps him in the game, on the occasion he gets an offer worth considering—and if he doesn’t, he calls it getting a feel for the market and moves on.

Monday morning finds him curled on the sofa, going through the responses on his phone. Most offers he received are below his notice like he expected, some downright insulting—and then there’s the e-mail from Enric Pryde himself.

He sits up so fast he almost knocks over his empty cup.

Among the dreamshare community, the First Order is as revered as it is despised. They reach out to very few and pay three times what they should; but the cost of failure is equally severe, growing proportionately to the project’s worth. Which seems to be a lot, in this case. While he can’t tell from the sparse details in the e-mail whether this Project Starkiller is meant to be a moving city or some sort of weapon—perhaps both, knowing the First Order—he already estimates at least two layers, more likely three, and a special blend of stabiliser for the dreamer and the architect both, who cannot be the same person for this design.

Because they want him on board as the main architect and his dreams never hold steady after the first layer, special blend or no.

Whatever he was looking for as a quick job, this is not it. It’s far more involved and challenging than he could have imagined—and, he’s finding, everything he needed. He could do this for himself. He could work a job he enjoys, instead of running point to Ren or Phasma’s picks all the time to keep them from working with incompetent point men.

Ren and Phasma, who might be working with incompetent point men halfway across the world this very moment.

No. No, he’s not thinking that. His birthday is only three days away. Everything is fine.

----------------

He e-mails back to say he’s honoured and asks for one week to get his team together. Pryde gives him five days and a thinly-veiled warning that there are others who would jump at this opportunity.

Stomach at his feet, Hux throws his phone on the coffee table and gets up to make more tea.

----------------

As expected, research gives him little of substance about the First Order’s operations and nothing at all about the Starkiller, although he finds a low-quality close-up of Pryde to glare at as he sketches out some ideas. They will get binned once he gets his hands on the self-destructing dossiers or whatever ridiculous security protocols the First Order may work with; but it keeps him busy. Better than watching the hours tick by.

When the clock turns from 11:59 to midnight on what is now Thursday, he considers texting Rey to ask if she’s heard from Phasma recently—changes his mind before he even picks up the phone. Ren wouldn’t like it. Hux has been accused of being a control freak more times than he can count as it is; he doesn’t want to add clingy to the list of his unattractive qualities.

----------------

At two in the morning, the doorbell rings.

He is going to murder Ren.

The door had never felt so close or so far as he rushes to it, heart hammering in his chest. He’s going to let Ren in, he’s going to check him for injuries and he’s going to disembowel that infuriating, thoughtless, selfish piece of shite if he’s had Hux fret all this time for no reason—

“Hi,” Rey chirps, looking up at him with damp eyes and a brittle smile. She raises a bottle of whiskey—Phasma’s favourite. “Happy birthday?”

He opens the door wider.

----------------

Admittedly—not out loud; he would never hear the end of it, from her or her cousin—Rey scores high on the short list of people whose company he enjoys. The booze helps, too. They drink in front of the television Hux hasn’t switched off in days and talk about everything but the aching holes in their chests.

She falls asleep on the sofa. He puts a blanket over her and goes to bed.

----------------

In the morning—practically afternoon, if he’s being honest—he tells her about the Starkiller. The plan was to pitch it to Ren first, to see what he thinks before bringing in the others. As it is, Ren isn’t here and none of Hux’s messages has gone through since their interrupted conversation and Hux is going to bloody explode if he doesn’t tell someone.

“I’m not sure, Armie,” she says around a spoonful of breakfast cereal he certainly didn’t buy. “He will never agree to work for the First Order.”

“Why the hell not? He works for Snoke.” Rather happily, in fact. Ren never prepares more carefully for a job than one of Snoke’s plentiful errands, no matter how simple. “Why wouldn’t he work for Snoke’s own company?”

She considers him for a long moment, chewing slowly. “He hasn’t told you the story.”

The implication—accusation—stings deep. “What story?” he demands, pushing his tea away to lean closer. The words held the intonation of capital letters, which means missing information that could potentially blindside them down the line. His respect for Ren’s private business isn’t greater than his responsibilities.

“Not mine to tell,” she says sternly, pinching her lips in disappointment like he should be ashamed to have asked to begin with. “Ask him.”

He snorts. Ren is hardly the sharing type, especially where Hux is concerned. Everything he’s ever learned about Ren has come through other means—and vice versa, he imagines.

She frowns, a question rising behind her eyes. He tenses on instinct. “Anyway,” she continues, shaking her head—and he can breathe more easily again. “My point is, if we’re doing this, we’ll need another forger.”

We. He doesn’t suppress his smile, relief coating his insides. “I suspect we won’t need a forger for this one. A chemist, on the other hand…”

----------------

She doesn’t leave and he doesn’t ask her to. They polish off the whiskey and pretend not to check their phones every ten minutes while binge-watching Star Wars, including the newest releases even their resident space nerd couldn’t finish.

He visualises Ren’s horrified expression when Hux reveals how he and Rey bonded over their shared love for big guns and hot villains in Ren’s absence. Laughter gets stuck in his throat, forming a painful lump instead.

He bids her good night and slinks away into his bedroom to stare at the ceiling.

Barely ten minutes pass before the television switches off in the next room, soft footsteps echoing lightly in the corridor. He turns his back to the door and feigns sleep as it opens and closes—which is a coward’s way, but he’s never claimed to be a particularly brave man. If he were, he would have asked Ren to stop working for Snoke instead of stewing in his misery right now.

Compared to her cousin, Rey’s weight barely shifts the mattress as she climbs in, sliding under the covers without fanfare. He shuts his eyes tighter and allows himself to imagine, just for a moment, that Ren is back.

“I haven’t heard from Phasma in over a month.”

Over a month? Hells, no wonder she sought him out. “Ren and I talked two weeks ago,” he says—realises with a sinking feeling that it sounded like he was rubbing it in. “Closer to three, actually.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much that I could understand. The reception was horrible.” Bits and pieces through constant breaking: Hux, shit, in case, person and, inexplicably, home. “I didn’t get the impression they were in danger—just inconvenienced.” As is often the case with these missions. Snoke’s got a small army of trained private security under his command and he still sends Ren to the most out-of-the-way places.

That Snoke’s hired Phasma as well for this one is a little more concerning, but not overly so. Reckless as they both can be, Ren and Phasma are forces to be reckoned with on the field—Hux would be more inclined to feel sorry for their adversaries.

Rey sighs. “Hope you’re right, Armie.”

----------------

If Mitaka is surprised to see Rey strut about in Hux’s shortest joggers she still needed to fold at the ankles and an old shirt, he politely doesn’t mention it. He and Rey exchange banal pleasantries over coffee and day-old cake while Hux finishes typing up his notes, then they get to work.

Mitaka listens to the briefing with unwavering attention, his fingers stapled in front of him like a front-row student. Like everyone else in their extended team, Mitaka is an experienced, accomplished dreamer—and yet, Hux can’t help looking at him and seeing the fresh-faced cadet Phasma had dragged in ages ago, barely into his twenties and all the more naive for it.

They’ve gotten old—Hux most so.

Once Hux finishes, “If you both are building this time,” Mitaka starts, looking between the two. “Who will be taking point? The Captain?”

Next to him, Rey inhales sharply, her face mostly hidden behind the curtain of her hair. Shame crosses through Mitaka’s face at the realised misstep.

“She’s otherwise occupied,” Hux responds before Mitaka can break into apologies. No need to make this more painful or awkward than it needs to be. “I will be running point as usual, and Rey is here to help with the heavy-lifting.”

Mitaka nods, glancing at Rey with concern before turning to Hux fully. “Where do I sign?”

----------------

They sign a heavily-encrypted stack of documents digitally, sending them through the First Order’s own communication system. The next day, they receive a link to a private cloud service with a convoluted unlock sequence that can be accessed by one device at a time, read-only.

Hux alone works on three different devices.

On the bright side, the project they receive is well-worth the inconvenience. Their objective is to design and build a superweapon out of an extensively described ice planet in the dreamspace, which must be capable of hitting five targets simultaneously and obliterating all affected life forms on them without causing a single non-predetermined casualty. Controlled chaos, if you will. The First Order wants a catastrophe they can tame and leash.

Hux can make it happen.

Whether he can make it happen in eight weeks is a different question entirely.

----------------

Without Ren to drag him away from work, he’s free to divide his waking hours between his screens and the sitting room, which they repurposed into a workshop-slash-dream den. While Hux is a decent architect in a pinch, he could never build the way Rey does—the way she bends the dreamspace to her will and creates cities that feel alive around them. Between the two of them, they have the groundwork laid out within days, quickly moving on to revising the base design according to the specifications in the main file and the numbers Hux runs.

Instead of using pre-mixed batches, Mitaka mixes their Somnacin from scratch on the kitchen table, reworking the formula per the reactions. None he comes up with works to keep Hux’s dreams steady, although a couple seem to ground his control over the dreamspace. Most just turn the dreams into nightmares for everyone involved.

Many of the nightmares are about Ren. Every time they manage to wake up from one of those, he looks at Rey to apologise. She never meets his eyes.

----------------

Unlike the two of them, Mitaka has family to return to and so he does when it gets late, leaving them to eat take-away and talk around the elephant in the room. On the rare occasion they do talk. Even though Hux gets the most shit for his workaholic tendencies, they all are guilty of it in different degrees; most nights are spent hunched over desks or tablets until they come close to shooting each other over the smallest noise or mistake, then they retire for the night.

The bedroom is where the worst fears come out.

“They might need our help,” she murmurs, lowly enough that the words could get lost among the howling wind outside. “They might be injured or—or lost, waiting for rescue. And we would be here arguing about heat transfer.”

“They aren’t.”

“But how do you know?”

He sighs loudly, turning to face Rey. Her eyes are big and eerily bright in the darkness, shining. “Look, Ren and I have been through this before. We’ve got contingencies in place for any kind of emergency—strategies to scarper and regroup as needed, fake identities with paper trail, codes to slip into lines of communication that will find their way to the other’s ear—all of which tied to systems that would alert us both if ever used. So far?” He gestures vaguely to his phones on the nightstand. “Complete radio silence.”

“Well it might be because he’s—”

His stomach lurching, “Don’t,” he bites out. He’s had enough nights contemplating that possibility himself, reasoning himself out of that line of thinking with more effort each time; he can’t handle someone else saying it.

Especially not Rey, whose unfailing optimism has seen them through many a dark spot.

“They will be back soon,” he says with conviction he forces himself to feel. They always do. This is just taking longer than expected.

Rey’s silence rings in the room.

----------------

At the end of the third week, Enric Pryde reaches out to him. His voice is as cold and serpent-like as he looks.

They talk for two and a half minutes—more accurately, Pryde relays his demands for two minutes and rebuffs Hux’s protests for the next half, then hangs up unceremoniously on him.

Fuming, Hux tries to glare a hole into his phone for about as long before going to wake Rey up.

----------------

“What do you mean, they are relocating us?”

Latching his fingers tight to keep from scraping at his already raw palms, “I mean exactly what I said,” Hux grinds out. “They want to move us into some safe house where they will provide us with everything we’ll need for the rest of the project. We don’t have the option to refuse their generosity.”

“They want to monitor us,” Mitaka says on the other end of the line, ever fond of pointing out the obvious. “Can they do that?”

“Would you like to be the one to tell them they can’t?” Hux shakes his head. They are not small fish; but the First Order is big enough to swallow them whole and not suffer for it. He knows to pick his fights. “If you’d like to drop off the face of the earth, now is the time.”

Rey snorts—as much of an answer as Mitaka’s bitter laughter.

“Well,” Rey says, scraping her chair back. “I should pack some clean underwear. When are they coming to get us?”

“As we speak.”

----------------

Before they leave, they make sure to sketch out First Order insignias on every available place. Just in case.

----------------

The safe house is, for all intents and purposes, a veritable villa in the middle of nowhere.

“A little excessive,” Mitaka comments as they tour the place, noting the bolted down furniture and darkened windows, locked conspicuously on the outside. The cupboards and the fridge are well-stocked enough to keep them fed for several months.

There is no mobile coverage.

In fact, there is no wireless connection of any sort. The multitude of devices strewn about in the house are all connected to the First Order’s own network and communications system, which provides access to every archive they might need for the project and nothing else.

The dread coiled in Hux’s guts grows heavier.

So much for his alert systems.

----------------

Progress is much faster with so much information at their fingertips.

Hux is envious of the berths of the First Order databases. Effective as his own methods of gathering intelligence are, his network couldn’t hope to have the same reach as a well-funded PMC—which he could have been a part of, had he not gone freelance instead of corporate after leaving the military.

The idea is tempting, still. He’s ruined for the civilian workforce—has been since childhood, with a father like General Brendol Hux was—but he seeks the structure and order that comes with being part of an organisation. Under different circumstances, he may have considered applying to the First Order after this project.

As their prisoner in everything but name, he wants little more than to be as far away from them as possible.

----------------

Everything they’ll need doesn’t involve a private chef or buffet, but it involves private delivery people who pick up whatever they want, no matter what they want, in a timely fashion. Because they are spiteful opportunists, they order the most extravagant and unreasonable meals they can think of. The food always arrives hot.

Hux marks the potential restaurants for each food item and how long it took to arrive on a small map every time. Just in case.

----------------

Sleeping in the same bed while Mitaka is in the next room feels too awkward, so they don’t. They don’t sleep much in general, either—not with the question of how to power a machine of the Starkiller’s scale without it overheating hanging heavy over their heads. Dreamshare mechanics are a lot more forgiving than their real-world counterparts; if they can’t pull it off down there, they sure as hell won’t make it work topside.

They have to make it work topside, they now know. The First Order wouldn’t have poured so much money and resources into what is merely Pryde’s pet design project.

“They probably have people looking into it,” Rey says, spinning her pen around her fingers with smugness dripping from her expression. He’s not petty enough to dare her to replicate it in the real world, but the thought is there. “Some super high-tech R&D division working on preventing a weapon of mass-destruction from exploding instead of, like, climate change.”

Watching her fingers like the secrets of the universe lie between them, “I don’t think so,” Mitaka responds. “It’s too much of a commitment. I bet they just wait for someone else to figure it out, then steal the designs from them.”

Something flares at the back of Hux’s mind like static, a connection he doesn’t want to make forcing itself into his awareness.

He shakes his head hard to clear it. Even with the dilation, he doesn’t have the time to dwell on things he’s got no control over.

“If you two are quite done gossiping,” he cuts in, smoothing over the blueprints in front of him for effect. “We’ve got work to do.”

----------------

We’re going to take something someone else worked very hard for, was all Ren had said the night before his departure—the only time Hux dared ask about his new job, once it became apparent Ren wasn’t going to say a word about it on his own. It’s such a non-answer that Hux couldn’t tell if Ren wanted to leave him space for plausible deniability or simply didn’t want to tell him.

He still can’t. As a matter of fact, he can’t say for sure Snoke’s job and this project are connected, either; all he’s got is a hunch.

A hunch he desperately wants to see proven wrong.

----------------

Mitaka’s newest blend is the most successful yet. They go down as far as the third level with only minor tremors under their feet—a huge leap of progress, after weeks of the ground swallowing them up whole.

Knowing better than to push their luck, they call it an early night and celebrate by ordering a feast they’ll have to take their time with. With the dinner table and every other horizontal space that could reasonably hold food covered in their work, they sprawl about the sofa set that hasn’t seen nearly enough use over their involuntary stay.

Once their food arrives and Rey realises what he ordered, a soft look crosses over her face. He ignores it. There’s only one place that serves Ren’s favourite food; it makes for a good reference point on his map. It’s not sentimental if it’s also practical.

----------------

He knew, from a logical standpoint, that having access to communication systems meant people could communicate with them and vice versa. On account of the fact that Pryde and the delivery people are the only ones to use it, he didn’t particularly care.

When the name Blysma pops up on the main screen, he realises what a gross oversight that was.

Heart at his throat, he accepts the request with shaking hands, grateful that no one is awake to see him like this. “Hux speaking.”

“Hello, Hux.”

Oh.

Oh, the ever-loving—

“Don’t say my name,” Ren adds quickly, as if he sensed that Hux was about to curse his name six ways to Sunday. “Or any other names. They don’t actively monitor your communications, but we’re pretty sure some keywords are flagged. Best not to take any chances.”

“We,” he repeats dumbly. So many questions are buzzing in his head that he doesn’t know which should take priority. “You and—ah, our mutual terrifying friend?”

Phasma’s melodic laughter rings through the other end of the line. Hux’s heart soars.

“Yeah,” Ren says, a little breathy. “Yes, we’re both here. And fine. The job ran late. Where the fuck are you?”

About that… “I don’t actually know,” he admits, the truth of it settling dark and deep into his gut. Trying to map out their location left him with more questions than answers. “Near the ocean. Far north of the city, I think; but we shouldn’t have crossed any borders.”

“That doesn’t narrow it down,” Ren says.

Irritation rising in him, “We were hardly given a tour guide for the road,” he snaps. You should have been there to take notes, is on the tip of his tongue—he swallows the words. Ren is here now, in a way. They’ve found Hux and the others. The insignias must have pointed them in the right direction; but figuring out how to contact Hux through the First Order’s own systems? That’s all their doing.

Taking a long breath to calm himself down, “How did you contact us anyway?” he asks.

“By calling in more favours than your sorry life is worth,” Phasma says, amusement lingering in her tone. He has never been happier to hear her mocking drawl. “So you had better give us something concrete to work with before we decide to leave you to rot there.”

Racking his brain, he takes a deep breath to ground himself. He’s got to focus. However Ren and Phasma managed to get into the First Order’s systems, they are unlikely to remain unnoticed for long. He needs to make the most of it.

The answer is so simple, he wants to smack himself upside the head.

“At noon, we will place an order for three servings of Bivoli tempari from the Hosnian. Track whoever is delivering it. They should lead you to us.”

----------------

He doesn’t tell the others about it. For one, he’s not fully sure his stress-addled brain didn’t make up the whole interaction—for another, they have a check-in with Pryde scheduled at 3, during which they’re going to disappoint him again with their lack of progress regarding the overheating issue. They are on thin ice as it is; he can’t take a gamble on the quality of the others’ poker faces and risk attracting Pryde’s suspicion.

At exactly noon, he contacts the delivery people and relays the order. In his periphery, Mitaka and Rey share a look.

Once he takes his seat again, “I thought the Hosnian was eat-in only,” Rey says.

Hux shrugs. “They said everything you’ll need.”

----------------

He orders something different from the Hosnian at the same time for the next four days, just in case. Mitaka is too polite to protest, despite the cuisine clearly not agreeing with him.

Rey eyes him suspiciously every time but says nothing, waiting for him to come to her instead of forcing an explanation out of him. He appreciates it more than he can put into words. He can only hope she understands.

----------------

Dying in an explosion ten times in a row tends to throw a wrench in group morale.

Unwilling to kill themselves just to wake up in the safe house, they wordlessly agree to wait out the timer. The burnout has settled deep onto their bones; Pryde’s implicit threats after every check-in don’t help their mental state, either. If Ren and Phasma hadn’t made contact, Hux might have considered taking his chances with a desperate escape attempt instead of sticking around to see what punishment the First Order would dole out for their inevitable failure. It might prove the better end, at any rate.

“I am going back to my children after this,” Mitaka says with more conviction than Hux has been able to muster up about anything in months. “I don’t care what happens. I don’t care if they kill me for it—I won’t die without seeing my family again.”

“We are not dying,” Hux reassures him. With three real-world seconds to the scheduled kick, he explains everything—Ren and Phasma making contact, the bare-bones of the plan and Blysma’s carefully vague progress update texts, the precautions they’re taking to keep Mitaka’s family safe should something go wrong.

Mitaka cries silent, happy tears at the news. Rey gives Mitaka a warm smile and pulls him close.

“That’s it,” she tells Hux, rubbing at Mitaka’s arm in sympathy. “I’m not letting her take a job without me ever again.”

Raising a brow, “You would be announcing to everyone in the community that she’s the best leverage against you,” he points out, not unkindly. He understands the sentiment—truly, he does—but it’s woefully impractical. Not to mention the kind of commitment it would take.

Her eyes gleam, smile turning secretive in that way he’s learned not to trust. Reaching into her pocket with her free hand, “I was already going to do that,” she says airily, taking out a small, velvet box.

Ah. Fair enough, then.

----------------

Hux is above lying to his employers.

Rather, he likes to think he is. Dreamshare, sophisticated as it may be at its heart, is an underground science—as such, it attracts a certain crowd. In a community where lying through one’s teeth is a survival skill, Hux knows to look someone in the eye and spin a tale truer than the truth as well as the next crook; he just prefers to tell the truth as long as it will leave his head connected to his body.

As it happens, this is the last scheduled check-in before the deadline. Giving Pryde bad news now would be signing their death warrant.

When Hux reports their success, Pryde smiles. The sight haunts Hux’s nightmares for days.

----------------

Blysma’s communication request comes the night before the grand plan, unscheduled.

His mind racing with possibilities, he grabs the tablet sitting on his nightstand before the notification wakes the others, accepting the request with, “Hux speaking.” As far as he’s concerned, there’s nothing left to talk about. Phasma has already laid out all she could of the plan without tipping off the First Order; a recap now would do more harm than good.

If this is about a last-minute change—well. Adaptability is another survival skill in their line of work.

“I missed your birthday.”

Hux blinks at the screen in his hands. “I—yes.” By a couple of months, at this stage. Where did that come from? Surely Ren didn’t realise it only now? “If you contacted me to wish me a happy belated birthday…”

“Of course not. I—uh, I called to hear your voice.” Hux’s lungs tighten, all too aware of his heartbeat. “Since we never finished our conversation.”

Their conversation. The handful of words Hux has been turning over in his head for months, to no apparent meaning or answer.

He’s bloody desperate to ask and finally, finally find out; but they’ve waited this long. They can be patient a little longer. “This is neither the time nor the place,” Hux says, as gently as he’s able, biting down on the instinctive Ren at the end. Now would be the absolute worst time for a slip-up. “Whatever it was, you can tell me tomorrow. In person.”

“That’s just it,” Ren mutters. “The last time I tried to tell you, we kept getting cut-off until signal completely went away and I thought, it’s fine. I’ll be back in a few days, I’ll just tell him then. In person.” He laughs, a breathy, bitter sound. “But then…”

But then Ren couldn’t get back until a few weeks after—and when he did, Hux wasn’t there anymore.

He clears his throat to get out the lump lodged there. “Then you’ll just have to be there this time,” he says firmly—his point man voice. “Because I will be, and I won’t accept any excuses.”

After a long beat, “Yes, sir,” Ren says, a smile in his voice. “See you on the other side.”

“Sleep well.”

#Kylux Summer Fest 2020 #Bad Things Happen Bingo #kylux #Armitage Hux #Kylo Ren #Rey #Dopheld Mitaka #Phasma #Star Wars #Cai does words #finished fics #I know I say this for every fic #but this fic was a ride #I can happily go back to my KBB fic now #not designed for the cynical

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userdokja · 4 years

Text

The Fall | Ben Solo x Reader | One.

Summary: In which the reader is Poe’s best friend but doesn’t like Rey for him and Kylo has a crush on Rey. Then one day Poe and Rey get together, Kylo and the Reader helps each other to break them apart, then realizes that while they were doing it… They were falling for each other Instead.

Based on this

Warnings: Curse words, Soft Ben so this isn’t really a Kylo Ren x Reader, Fluff, My Writing and Grammar.

Tagging whoever said Yes to this post

@drawlfoy @jcc04220 @espacioytiempo @xxsirensong @i-am-lokii-of-asgard

Tell me if you want to be tagged for the next chapters, I’m just tagging you in the first part:)

Two

====

Being Poe Dameron's best friend was like a job, a fun job. Even though he's older than you you'd have to be the one who's looking out for him since he's mostly the one doing stupid things.

So when you heard that he was dating Rey, you jumped into protective mode.

"Rey? Isn't she the one everyone flirts with?"

"It's not her fault she's pretty." Pie grinned, "we're meant for each other."

You weren't sure about that, Rey and Poe were had too much in common, that's normally supposed to be a good thing but with them? They're going to end up hurting each other, Rey is someone sweet and kind and flirts with everyone without knowing it, while Poe was a playboy who flirts with everyone on purpose.

The thing is, everyone is after them.

"Please just meet her for me?" Poe gave you the puppy eyes.

"Jesus, fine. Where?"

"The club, later at 9:00 pm?" You just nodded at him. "Thank you, so much."

He gave you a hug and kissed your cheek, you just rolled your eyes at him and continued your work.

----

You were arrived at the club at exactly 9:00, you wore your normal jeans and shirt.

Poe was already inside with Rey in his arms, you waved as you approached them.

"Hello, you must be Y/n. Poe's told me so much about you!" She gave you a big smile and shook your hand, too sweet.

"Nice to meet you." You gave her a small smile, she lead you to the bar to sit down and talk about stuff... You learned that she was actually okay, but that wouldn't change your mind about her and Poe.

"Hey, wanna go dance?" Poe said to her.

"Yeah sure! Y/n wanna join us?"

What Kind of question was that? "No, no I'll just stay here. With my drink." You lifted you glass up to show her that you had company, she nodded at you and walked away with Poe.

You were alone for atleast 30 minutes, for 30 minutes Poe and Rey we're dancing, and they still were, a tall guy in a black sweater took the seat beside you.

"Give me the strongest you have." He told the bartender, you tried not to stare at his face, or his hair just to try and remember where you saw him.

"Rough night?" The bartender asked him as he placed the drink in front of him.

"I guess..." He mumbled back, and took a shot out of his drink. "The girl I like is out there with an asshole."

"Ah, unrequited love. Must be a pretty girl for her to catch your attention." The man said, and the stranger beside you sighed before turning around to look at the girl he likes.

"There she is... Rey Kenobi."

Your eyes widened at the name, you choke on your drink making the two men look at you.

"So you're saying Poe Dameron is an asshole?" The long haired man furrowed his eyebrows at you. "I say Kenobi is a flirt."

"Poe is a playboy, which makes him an asshole." He says "Rey doesn't deserve that."

"Poe's not a playboy, a lot of girls are just after him..... And sometimes guys."

"And you're one of those people?" He raised his eyebrows at you and you scoffed at him.

"I'm just his best friend, and I don't like that Rey girl for him." He was about to say something but you cut him off. "I have nothing against Kenobi, she's a flirt without knowing it. But them together? The whole school would be a mess."

You took another sip from your drink and looked at Rey and Poe dancing like they're so in love.

"If only I can make him break up with her, but I don't want to be a bad friend." You look away from them and stood up from your seat.

"Hey, wait!" The long haired guy called after you. "Maybe you're trying to be a good friend, you know? Because you don't want them to hurt each other."

"What are you saying?"

"I can help you become a good friend." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You look away from his to Rey who was having a drink with another man while Poe was still dancing, you look back at the man in front of you and laughed.

"Thank you, but... No." You said, trying to be polite, you were pretty sure the dude was drunk.

"Come on, If we do this we both get what we want. You get your best friend back and I get a shot with Rey." You bit your bottom lip and anxiously tapped your foot on the ground.

"Fine, let's give it a shot." You finally said. "My name's Y/n."

"Kylo Ren, nice to meet you." You looked at him with an amused face. "What?"

"Your real name."

"It's Ben, Ben Solo." You placed you hand on his and gave it a light shake. "Want to sit down and talk about it?"

----

You spent your night talking about Rey and Poe, their dislikes and something that can break them apart.

"We can get through Poe better." Ben says, It was already 11:40 and you were still in the same position you were in earlier.

"I have to agree on that, if only I can make him do something stupid."

"Of course you can, he's your best friend. I'll make him go to a stripper bar or something, Rey won't like that and she'll for sure break it off with him." He said, it was actually a good plan but a bit risky.

"Rey's going to blame us for making Poe go there."

"So?" He asked.

"Then our relationship with the both of them will be ruined you idiot." You playfully slapped his arm, "we've been doing this for hours."

"And we still have nothing."

You sighed in defeat and sipped your drink, you picked up your bag and finished your drink.

"This just isn't going to work out, Ben. I already feel so bad about doing this... And the thought of being responsible for them breaking up will be too much." You smiled at Ben sadly. "I'm sorry, but if they're really not for each other they'll break up within a month, Poe's relationships never lasts that long."

"It's fine, It was a stupid idea anyway, I hope I still see you around L/n."

"You too, Solo."

You were wrong, so wrong.

After a month, Poe's been bringing Rey into your shared apartment. And they would cook together as if they were this lovely couple you'd absolutely love to be with.

But no.

You had nothing against Rey but her sweetness and kindness seemed so... Fake.

"Are you still up for tonight?" It was your birthday, and since you live too far away from your parents Poe promised to be the one who's going to spend it with you.

"Uhm, yeah sure." Poe mumbled against Rey's neck, they also show too much PDA which you definitely don't approve of.

"Be there okay? Same place at 6?"

"Same place at 6." He repeated, at least he's still going to be with you.

----

When you arrived at your favorite restaurant you expected Poe to be a bit late like always, but you didn't know he'd be missing for an hour.

You already finished your food and drinks when you received a call.

"Hey, Y/n I'm very sorry about today It's just Rey needed help with her homework." Poe said through the line.

"Homework? Homework? Poe you don't even do your own homework." You felt your cheeks burning up.

"I'm sorry for not showing up-"

"I don't care about you not showing up, I'm mad because you'd put her in the line first instead of yourself. Not that it's a bad thing but for Christ's sake-"

"Look, Happy Birthday. But I really need to go now-" Poe cut you off, and for a second you could hear music blasting in the background. "I'll catch up with you later okay? Love you!"

The line was cut off, you wanted to call him again and scream at him, tell him how fake his new fucking girlfriend is.

"Stare at it longer it's going to melt." A deep familiar voice spoke, you looked up to see Ben, "That's Poe isn't it?"

"Yeah, he's still with Kenobi." You said, he took the unoccupied seat in front of you.

"You told me they'd be over in a month." He called for the waitress and ordered some food, you waited until he finished to explain.

"Rey's got him wrapped around her finger. Even got him to not go to my birthday."

"It's your birthday?" You nodded as a reply. "Well Poe's an asshole."

"So is Rey." You teased. "Why did you like her anyways?"

"I've known her since we were kids, until she went with those popular kids and we didn't talk much. I still like her even though she's different, don't know why."

"First love, I guess?" He laughed.

"Maybe." He sighed. "Happy birthday by the way.."

"Thank you." His food arrived and you ordered some fries for yourself, you spent the night talking with each other and talking about silly stuff.

"Hey since them being together makes us miserable, why don't we continue our plan?" Your eyes widened as you shook your head.

"No."

"Let's just give it a try. Just once and then we”ll stop trying to break them up." You thought about it this time, If they're going to break up anyways then why not just do it sooner? You're just going to make it a bit easier for them.

"Fine, we're going to do it." He raised his fist up.

“Finally!”

A/N: Still don’t know If I’m going to continue, I’ve already written chapter two but again, I’m not very sure about this fic since I feel like it’s going to be awful. But i think this would at least be up to three parts so it’s a short one

Permanent tags: @aintnouseofpretending @just4muggles @heartbeats-wildly @lookinsidemyhead @katiegoddessofmischief

Star Wars Tags: @melcutie

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #Ben Solo #ben solo x reader #xreader #poe dameron x platonic!reader #poe dameron #rey kenobi #star wars #star wars x reader

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agreateryesterday · 4 years

Text

Reylo - ABO fics

An Unexpected Vacation

An Unexpected Date by tigbit

*Finished* 10 chapters, 4 chapters

In which Rey attempts to bolster her bank account by volunteering to fuck an Alpha in a scientific study. Plans go pear-shaped when she accidentally triggers scientist!Ben’s first Rut.

Rey and Ben go on their infamous date.

Terminal Velocity by AQuill2Thrill

(Last updated Feb 22, 2020) 6 chapters

In her final year at the University of Coruscant, Rey Kenobi navigates painful memories of her past while simultaneously fighting to get into the Coruscant Academy of Law. Broken in more ways than one, she finds herself dumbstruck when she receives a letter of dismissal from the Skywalker-Organa Scholarship Program - her one and only ticket into graduate school. Without the necessary funds, her future is completely dead in the water... right? Meanwhile, fast boi Ben Solo - better known as Kylo Ren on the MotoAmerica docket - is competing among world champion racers on dangerous tracks throughout the country. He's got all the wealth and fame he could ask for, so why does he still feel a pang of emptiness as he crosses each finish line like a man possessed?

True Love Waits by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 18 chapters

In Rey's tiny Southern town, courtship for Omegas begins when a woman turns fifteen and ends with mating and marriage on the sixteenth birthday. All of her friends have already settled down, but Rey has a free spirit that isn't so easy to subjugate and control. Ben Solo intends to change that.

The Runner by JaneEyre1847

(Last updated Jan 16, 2020) 18chapters

Rey Niima has a one-in-a-billion secret. If found out, she'll become the target of religious fanatics and political reactionaries the world over. If they catch her, she'll lose everything, including her career, her freedom, perhaps even her mind. So, she pretends to be a normal, if highly unusual Omega, using her unique talents as an endurance athlete and automotive engineer to make a life for herself and craft a meaningful future. Ben Solo is finally, finally free of his past. Still young, still a highly dominant Alpha in an Alpha's world, he has enough money from selling his startup to start a new life in Boulder, Colorado, safe from his mistakes, safe from his family, and safe even from Snoke. All he wants now is to be happy and share his life with the right Omega. It's too bad Ben's past is coming for him. It's too bad his past is coming for Rey.

You Burn First by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 22 chapters

Rey is kidnapped to be a slave for the ruthless Kylo Ren in exchange for the protection of her people. The post-apocalyptic world she lives in is brutal, but he might be worse

Not your omega. by riseofskyloren

*Finished* One Shot

Rey Johnson and Ben Solo cannot stand each others, she's way too joyful and he's just so cynical. They're definitely not mate material, not a chance. But what happened when the person you despise the most in the entire world becomes the one your body's craving?

Pretty Little Thing by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 3 chapters

Rey is forcibly claimed by Kylo Ren. Though the pairing isn't complete, he pulls to her while he's in prison for his crime, and she struggles to ignore her instinct to go to him.

Kitty Cat by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 2 chapters

Rey accepts a ride from a polite Alpha, Ben. He's a perfect gentleman. For now.

Premature by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 5 chapters

Ben is Rey's awkward IT neighbor. She gives him a little bonus for helping fix her Wifi, and his obsession deepens, and he wants to prove he isn't some weirdo.

Bentacles by MalevolentReverie (creature fic *technically no ABO)

*Finished* One Shot

Kylo was kidnapped by humans and turned into a display piece at an aquarium. He meets a kind new girl, Rey, and decides she'll make the perfect mate.

Heat Wave by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 2 chapters

Ben's next door neighbor Rey gets a little too hot. Her heat comes and he'll help her, even if she doesn't want him to.

Yellowstone by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* One Shot

Rey goes on a survival trip with her friends, but they get sick, and the friendly ranger doesn't have her best interests in mind.

Happy Birthday, Rey by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* One Shot

Every year, Rey receives a letter from a stranger. Every year, they get weirder.

Birthday Lick by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* One Shot

Rey decides to finally cut loose on her sixteenth birthday. She sneaks into a club and meets Ben Solo, who's charming, funny, and takes whatever he wants.

Fledgling by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* One Shot

Rey runs away from home and takes a break at a very dangerous rest stop.

derangeD by MalevolentReverie (child like Rey)

*Finished* One Shot

Next-door neighbor Ben is really nice. He used to babysit Rey and gave her a weird bite on the nape of her neck. If he needs help, she's happy to provide it.

Burnt Coffee by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 3 chapters

Ben 'accidentally' forgets to pick up his sister's suppressants. He gets what he wants in her empty coffee shop.

Halcion Days by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 3 chapters

Ben has never seen anything hotter than his unconscious stepsister.

Stay Still by MalevolentReverie (beta Rey)

*Finished* One Shot

Beta Rey babysits her Alpha neighbor Ben's nephew. One night he comes home drunk and aggressive and Rey can't escape.

WENDIGO by MalevolentReverie (creature fic *technically no ABO)

*Finished* 2 chapters

Rey is saved from a wolf attack by a mysterious stranger. He wants more than she’s willing to give, but he’s going to take it anyway.

Fine. Little. Pieces. by MalevolentReverie

*Finished* 3 chapters

Ben loves his mate and his pup very much—and they better love him back.

As Above, So Below by MalevolentReverie (creature fic *technically no ABO)

(Last updated May 9, 2020) 1 chapter

Rey goes on a spelunking trip in North Carolina with her friends. She quickly gets lost and is stalked by a strange, inhuman creature.

Reclaimed by betts

*Finished* One Shot

After the passing of new legislation, Rey and thousands of other omegas are rescued from the abusive grasps of their alphas. She gets adopted by a new alpha and braces herself for the cruelty she’s grown used to. But Ben isn’t like other alphas, and Rey slowly warms to his kindness.

He's Just Not That Into You(r) Scent by SaintHeretical

*Finished* 4 chapters

Rey is a young and single Omega who hasn't had a lot of luck so far finding a nice Beta guy who isn't a total flake. They say they've had a great time with her, but seem to have a difficult time with calling her back. Ben is an Alpha bartender who is tired of hearing about her dating difficulties, and is ready to drop some truth bombs.

A Myth of Devotion by KiraStar

(Last updated Jan 9, 2020) 1 chapter

Rey shouldn't have gone out drinking that night. Ben shouldn't have claimed a 16 year old girl.

all things bright and beautiful by freewalrus

*Finished* One Shot

Rey looks down at the little blue and white stick clutched in her sweaty palm and feels like her stomach is about to fall out of her ass. There, in the tiny gray window, are two seemingly harmless black lines. Two. She blinks rapidly, trying to clear whatever fog has obscured her vision and made her think she is currently holding a positive pregnancy test. She's not pregnant. She can't be pregnant. She just can't be. Because if she is, her mate will leave her. Ben will leave her.

Alpha by PrinceofDarkness15

(Last updated Jan 4, 2020) 2 chapters

"You're walking a very dangerous line here, Kenobi." Ben growled, exposing a row of razor sharp canines. "I wouldn't try it again."

The Claiming Party by SithLord98

(Last updated Feb 16, 2020) 12 chapters

No summary available.

A Wolf At the Door by KiraStar

(Last updated Dec 29, 2019) 4 chapters

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doin’ all alone on a Friday night?” Rey meets an older boy at the drive-in.

Let it Linger by CaptainCabinets

(Last updated May 26, 2020) 3 chapters

Ben Solo and Rey Jones have history. One that they were both hoping to forget. But their past becomes increasingly hard to ignore when Rey starts attending Ben's prestigious boarding school. - Or - Ben is an Alpha. Rey is an Omega. And they forget how to function like normal human beings when they are around each other.

My Heat Will Go On by SpaceWaffleHouseTM

*Finished* 14 chapters

Lucky Omega Rey wins a third class ticket to America on the Titanic. Rich, miserable Alpha Ben holds a first class ticket to a life he doesn’t want. Another tale as old as time unfolds, but this time with... heat.

(Can't Stand) The Heat

Stay Out Of My Kitchen! by SwanSongremix

*Finished* One Shots

She would feel terrible if she asked him to come home early. Wasting all of her alpha’s hard work. He had always been so accommodating of her hectic schedule as an emergency room nurse, it would be unfair to not reciprocate. Besides, she had gone through plenty of heats on her own before meeting Ben. What was one more? In which omega Rey doesn't call her mate, and Ben is a disaster child.

“Seriously, though, how am I supposed to hide this?” Ben asked, following his friend to the front door, waving his covered hands. “I don’t know! Get creative!” And with that, Poe made a hasty retreat outside. Ben stared at the closed door in disbelief. “Fuck my life.” In which Poe is not allowed in kitchens, and Ben is still a disaster child.

Imprints by KyloTrashForever

*Finished* 23 chapters

“I was happy you’ll be working with someone you know. He’ll take good care of you.” Take good care of you. The words send a shiver down her spine, sparking memories that flood her with embarrassment. She feels a strange itch just below her ear, her gland giving a phantom pulse as if her body remembers the incident even still. Suddenly her triumph fades into dread, the idea of working here leaving a hollow pit in her stomach. Poe is still talking, but she doesn’t hear most of it. Her mind is firmly trapped in the vivid memories of six years ago— in a moment she wishes she could forget. By the time she hangs up the phone— she isn’t sure anymore if she can do this.

First Order University by Water_Fox (KnightSiren)

(Last updated April 6, 2020) 3 chapters

A young beta named Rey Kenobi can't believe her luck when she gets miraculously admitted to First Order University, the largest and most prestigious university on Coruscant. She has big plans for her engineering degree and has no problem sticking up for herself in a pool of hormonal alphas. But, when she crosses paths with a strange Alpha named Kylo Ren and unexpectedly finds herself soaking wet and falling at his feet... those plans are threatened to be thrown out the window.

welcome to my cage, little lover by KyloTrashForever

*Finished* 8 chapters

“Come here, Beta.” Every step is difficult— as if her legs are made of stone themselves. He motions that she sit behind him, and she remains there on her knees for several seconds as she wonders what he might want. “Your hands. Use them.” In which Rey is brought to the house of the infamous warlord, Kylo Ren, to serve his every need. Omegas are not allowed. Surely nothing will go wrong.

And They Were Roommates by KyloTrashForever

*Finished* 13 chapters

“This isn’t going to work.” He points a finger between the two of them. “This arrangement.” Her eyes narrow. “You didn’t put any specifications on who could apply.” “Yeah…” He rubs the back of his neck then, the action making it look longer, making her wonder what it might feel like under her fingers. “You have to know that this isn’t a good idea.” She knows what he means, she does—but she’s so tired of being brushed aside for her designation that she challenges him anyway. “And why not?” His eyes bore into hers, his expression blank as he says, “Because I can tell how much scent-block you put on—and I can still smell you.” In which Rey’s new roommate turns out to be a lot more than she bargained for.

The mortifying ordeal of being known (and the reward of being loved) by vuas

(Last updated May 13, 2020) 9 chapters

The omega in apartment 7b was going to pose a problem.

Knot My First Time by KyloTrashForever

*Finished* 5 chapters

“Who can tell me the purpose of knotting?” Holy fuck, are you kidding. His face is going to catch on fire. The teacher still scans the room, looking for a victim of her mortifying question until her eyes finally settle somewhere behind Ben. “Ah, yes. Ms. Johnson?” “Originally, to ensure conception.” Ben sneaks a glance behind him, finding her every bit as distracting as he always does. Rey Johnson. The girl who moved here just three months ago. The girl who seems to excel at everything she does. The girl he can’t get off his mind. The girl he’s heard so much about. In which Ben’s Alpha instincts have always been there, and now they’re awake.

Don't talk to strangers by P_Dunton

(Last updated March 3, 2020) 9 chapters

“Don’t talk to strangers, don’t leave the path and walk straight to Grandmother’s house.” The village of Jakku has a dark and terrible secret. An unknown evil lurks in the nearby forest and will only be satisfied with an annual offering of a local virgin. Nobody knows where the mysterious messenger comes from every year. Once a year, a masked person appears out of the forest and selects the virgin to be offered to the forest. Poor little orphan Rey, is wrapped in the ceremonial red cloak and escorted by the whole village to the edge of town. In a hundred years, none have ever returned. Will Rey be eaten by the Big, Bad Wolf, or does she have a few tricks up her sleeve?

Let’s Get Together by KyloTrashForever, ohwise1ne

(Last updated Jan 15, 2020) 6 chapters

“You didn’t tell me,” he murmurs quietly, careful that someone won’t overhear. “That you were a counselor.” “Neither did you.” “I told you it was my job to keep disobedient boys and girls from causing trouble.” “Why, sir.” She directs a sly look at him through her lashes. “Do I look like the sort who would cause trouble?” “You look like you’d never stop. But don’t worry.” He lowers his mouth right beside her ear. “I'd know exactly how to make you behave.” When Ben is roped into a job at his mother’s alpha/omega summer camp, he expects to have an uneventful month full of bad knot jokes and teenage hormones — until a counselor from the Omega side of camp turns his whole summer upside down.

Foresight by Aerographer

(Last updated April 6, 2020) 3 chapters

This Hunt would not be Rey’s first. She was 21 now, and had been in them since her 18th year. She’d never had a reactive heat. Never been reduced to a whining shell because of a scrap of fabric. She was one of the lucky ones.

Garbage girl and the Prince: an A/B/O fairytale by Hosnianprime, Trueffle123

*Finished* 19 chapters

Rey is a nobody and an Omega, who is known as “the garbage girl” in the small town of Chandrilla because as an orphan she was caught eating discarded food. Ben Solo used to be “the Prince” of Chandrilla, the heir to the influential politician Organa and businessman Han Solo. So even if Rey and Ben grew up in the same town, their lives couldn’t be more different…After Ben Solo graduated, he decided to leave home and cut almost all ties with his parents. One day, however, Leia (fed up with her son wasting his life involving himself with dodgy businesses such as financial investments for the First Order Syndicate) comes up with a cunning plan: Ben Solo needs to return home for an arranged mating if he doesn’t want to risk disinhersion.

a little death (goes a long way) by crossingwinter

*Finished* 7 chapters

“That’s good of you,” he replies. “Especially with the O-Negative.” “It’s a good deal,” she says and he glances up. Yeah, because Omega blood is harder to find. A taste of life, because they almost never survive the turn.

Down South

Outrun Me by Spencebox

*Finished* One Shots

Omegas were on the brink of Extinction, and staying in Jakku was a a death sentence. But luckily for Rey... “Please Rey, Armitage and his family live down here and they’re perfectly normal. Do you remember Ben Solo? He lives down here too! His mom Leia kind of runs a few of the businesses here and is pretty cool. And Ben even turned out to be an Alpha; he’s totally not like the ones in Jakku. I talk about you sometimes and he seems to remember you. If you have the chance, stop by and we can catch up!” Rey saw no harm in driving down to the Deep South to Coruscant to stay with Rose for a couple of days. Besides, how bad could it be?

There was no going back now—not like this. Rey was running with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide; Unkar Plutt had sold her off ages ago and had kept her locked away since. But this full moon, she ran .

To Resist by Sweetnlow444

(Last updated April 26, 2020) 2 chapters

“I'm in a relationship, I'm in love, I'm happy.” He kept telling himself this, hoping it would help. It didn't. It did nothing. Couldn't do anything in the face of that fucking smell, that intoxicating, mouth-watering, life-altering smell. Rey. He knew who it came from now and it made it all worse.

Desert Concubine by IkonQueen

(Last updated March 1, 2020) 1 chapter

Emperor Kylo Ren has sent out a galaxy wide announcement that he will handsomely reward those who bring him artifacts from the First Empire; Rey, a scavenger from the desert planet of Jakku, finds something even more priceless, though she doesn't know it. When she is brought before the emperor, her life will change forever.

The Perfect Life by Sweetaro

(Last updated Feb 1, 2020) 1 chapter

All any alpha ever wants is to come home to an omega cooking dinner and ready to be knotted. In the case of Ben Solo, that’s exactly what he has, and he couldn’t be happier. Although from the beginning, he has to teach her. But that's fine, he's going to make sure she's the perfect omega too.

You Should See Me in a Crown by 3todream3

(Last updated April 5, 2020) 9 chapters

“I’m leaving,” she blurted out. “Leaving? What do you mean?” He rubbed his jaw with his hand, trying to wake up. “When will you be back?” “You’re not getting it, Finn. I’m leaving.” She inhaled the familiar scent of the stable, wishing what she was saying wasn’t true. “I’m leaving...for good.” Rey watched as her best friend’s shoulders drew back, straightening his spine as he did. A bitter reality was sinking in before the rooster had even crowed. Finn was her protector, her keeper, her friend. If she left him, she would be lost in the world. “You can’t...you need to stay here!” he blurted out as the words Rey spoke finally woke him up. “The princess has been betrothed, and I am to go with her to her new home.” A sob escaped from deep within. “I can’t let them find out about me!”~o~ Rey, a handmaiden to Princess Bazine, has a secret she must keep at all costs, but her life is put in danger when she must leave her only home. Rey must accompany the princess, who is set to marry the infamous King Ren. Can she keep her secret and also keep her loyalty to her princess? Or will an Alpha make it all go to hell?

Tied to you by I_am_the_trash_queen9478

(Last updated Feb 1, 2020) 11 chapters

For months, since he combed through her mind on Starkiller, they had felt a strange pull towards one another. Fighting it only made the bond stronger; in a moment of frustration, Rey and Kylo decide to give it what it wants and allow themselves to be pulled together. They only wanted to find out how to control it, now everything has changed and they don't know how much longer they can keep fighting this feeling, this heat, between them. What could possibly go wrong when the Alpha Ben Solo and newly changed Omega Rey are tied together, in more ways than one?

Bloodmoon by AlexandrinaRen

(Last updated Feb 28, 2020) 4 chapters

Rey has always tried to stay as far away from pack business as possible, living her life as normally as humanly possible for an Omega and a Werewolf. But when a new Alpha comes in to town and challenges the leader of her pack, even she has to attend the Summit where the Alpha rite is about to be held.

That Fragile Scarlet Tree by Lula_Landry

*Finished* 11 chapters

Rey is asked by her boss Ben Solo to join his inner circle at First Order International, putting her brilliant mind to good use. The biggest problem? Rey is an Omega in hiding, living in a world where her kind have become nearly extinct, while Ben is an Alpha amongst Alphas, triggering her biological responses in ways she's never had to deal with before.

I'll Kill The Traitor, But I Will Save My Omega. by ClaireLou

*Finished* 7 chapters

Poe arrives at Bens house to inform him that his boyfriend is missing, not only that but he has taken the Omega. Unfortunately for Finn, The Omega is Bens wife, his soulmate and his forever. Ben will kill Finn himself. But first he needs to get the pack together and get back his Mate.

Say Yes to the Nest by writing2savelives

*Finished* One Shot

“Rey―?” She cuts him off with a whimper, stepping closer. “Please.” “No,” he growls. “You have to use your words. You have to say yes. Say ‘Yes, I want you’. Say it. Please.” Her pupils are dilating again rapidly. She sinks to her knees in front of him, the ultimate display of submission and his Alpha preens. “Yes Ben. I want you. Please Alpha.” Rey's heat is triggered after she must stay at Ben's apartment, prompting her to build a nest of his clothes. This is how Ben finds her.

A Rose For My Love by Spencebox

(Last updated May 12, 2020) 1 chapter

Poor Omega Rey and Rich Alpha Ben are newly dating and though Rey wants to take things slow, Ben has every intention of locking it down. There is a hesitancy in her- he's a decade older, has more money than she could count, is an Alpha that truly emits every stereotype she's ever know, and is ready for everything from mating to having babies. She wants to take things slow but he's in the fast lane. What's an Omega to do?

Keep the Car Running by CaptainCabinets

*Finished* 7 chapters

Someone new joins the carpool. Rey is not happy about it. (Until she is).

Your Sweetness by EyesSoQuiet

(Last updated April 23, 2020) 2 chapters

Kylo is in the middle of a rut when he finds his omega.

Ms. Independent by Athelise

*Finished* One Shot

Rey goes back into heat and begins to miss the one Alpha she trusted to see her through them. If only he hadn't called her a "charity case" she might actually be tempted to ask.

The Courtship of a Southern Belle by Lapinrose

(Last updated May 20, 2020) 7 chapters

In 1860 New Orleans, Louisiana, Rey Josephine Camille is a young girl about to enter womanhood. Her year-long secret courtship with popular alpha Poe Dameron has not been fruitful: he has not proposed nor has he asked to be her escort at the debutante ball! Before she turns 16, she must get engaged or become an outcast in New Orleans high-society but she does not want to marry someone she does not love. That's when she meets aloof alpha and eligible bachelor Benjamin Solo Augustus.

In Plain Sight by LBellicose

*Finished* 23 chapters

Rey never thought she would ever be lucky enough to go to college, much less win a scholarship to the prestigious University of Naboo. Rey meets Rose, before long she is part of the Resistance, a group of liked mind individuals working to solve the mystery of missing Omegas. Everything points to the First Order health. Rey goes undercover suppressed and poising as a Beta to find out what they are doing with the Omegas. She thinks she has it all under control until she meets the First Order's head of security Kylo Ren who has taken an interest in the newest lab tech.

Winter Flower by MelancholyBrilliance

(Last updated April 17, 2020) 2 chapters

"That’s my number,” he informs her, pinning her with his gaze. “Do not leave this hospital until you call me, Omega.” The command comes from somewhere deep inside of him, a place that usually lies doormat despite barking orders to medical personnel every day. It has an immediate effect on Rey, whose pupils visibly widen as she stares at him, enraptured. She nods, and it’s clear that she’s not entirely in control of herself, and maybe Ben should feel guilty about how satisfying it all is, but he releases a pleased rumble from his chest instead. When Rey’s scent spikes in response, he practically runs out of the room, trembling all over. (ABO/Modern AU in which Rey is essentially a homeless youth, and Ben is a doctor who just wishes he didn’t have to feel so guilty about helping her.)

Vertigo Theory by GlassSolomon

(Last updated March 20, 2020) 2 chapters

Rey has just begun the semester as a Biology student and already she is stretched thin. Being faced with the setbacks that come with being an Omega on top of everything else that comes with attending school she must take on an enormous course load and a job on the side to stay afloat through school. It's most certainly not sustainable. Professor Solo, her Anatomy professor soon takes notice of the young Omega in his course and despite strict Faculty Student Relations rules at the University he cannot take his eyes off of her.

Desolate by lhlsy

(Last updated May 12, 2020) 13 chapters

“I don’t care what her reason for sending you over here is,” he huffs out an annoyed breath, “I’m not interested.” At that her stance changes, she straightens up, almost puffing her chest out, her eyes regard him with a sort of intensity he has never seen an Omega exude before, “Mr. Solo, I’m a police officer,” she starts, her tone now laced with annoyance, and even a hint of anger, “I merely came over to introduce myself since I’m tasked with your security.” He smirks, a small snicker escaping his lips. He can’t help it. He really can’t. It’s just so extremely laughable that the young woman in front him is supposed to be his security. Not that she’s really there to protect him, like she seems to think. The police are only there to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, like try to take off his ankle bracelet and skip town.

Pheromatch by pinkhairedhoe

*Finished* 3 chapters

Ben doesn't like to think of himself as a desperate man, but with little free time, a secret desire for a relationship, and pressure from his well-meaning mother to settle down, he turns to Pheromatch, a dating service for alphas and omegas. Rey Niima, an omega grad student who keeps crushing on betas, thinks using a dating service is a cop out. She sincerely doesn't think she'll find anyone. Except one of the alphas kind of smells incredible.

Howl Of The Pack by LadyErica

(Last updated April 14, 2020) 19 chapters

Rey doesn't do howling and giving in to her wolf. Until she is called to the ritual of pack master. She is one of many Omegas in the pack that is unmated. The pack master is getting old and it is time for a new pack master. Rey watches the challenge in her pack and doesn't like appreciating in old brutal rituals of her pack. Thus why she doesn't give in to her wolf. A wolf she hadn't turn into in a long time since she presented as a Omega. Then the new pack master chooses a mate. That mate is her.

Baby Steps by Athelise

*Finished* One Shot

Rey is an Omega who has never been in heat and fears Alphas and their knots. But with her admission to Naboo University Rey gets a new lease on life with their Omega-inclusive policies and some of the best suppressors in the country to hide her from the eyes of Alphas. Not only that, but her burgeoning friendship with the adorkable Beta, Ben Solo, may just be the best thing to ever happen to her.

love the way you wear that black on black (take it off like that) by galactic_enterprise

(Last updated May 8, 2020) 1 chapter

“You're mine, Alpha. No one else can ever have you.” She placed his belongings at the head of her den, making Ben swell with pride. “Of course, Omega, and you are mine. Such a good little thing. So hard-working and slick, so ready and beautiful for her Alpha. Do you want me, little one? Do you want me to fill you with my knot and coat you with my cum? To put my pups in that little belly of yours?”- or - Kylo Ren wakes up to Rey trying to nest using his things.

Rey's Anatomy by lovelyjades

(Last updated April 11, 2020) 1 chapter

Freshly graduated Rey Kenobi was thrilled to have been accepted into an internship at the esteemed Skywalker-Organa Hospital in Seattle, and everything was going perfectly fine until she met her neurosurgeon supervisor, Doctor Ben Solo, an arrogant alpha who just so happened to be the best smelling man she'd ever met.

But I Do by Spencebox

(Last updated May 19, 2020) 7 chapters

Rey Kenobi couldn't believe it; she was definitely, totally, and without a doubt, shocked. Ben Solo- Alpha, looked like he belonged on the front of a magazine, not pictured as the profile for the Alpha she'd been matched with. Ben Solo was totally, definitely, and without a doubt, out of her league. But that doesn’t mean his name didn’t leave her lips when she fingered herself that night.

Knot Sure by coldmoonviolet

*Finished* 16 chapters

Omega Rey is excited to be finishing up her degree but after a night out with friends ends in the most embarrassing one night stand Rey could have imagined, she's horrified to discover the Alpha in question is her Professor.

Wanderlust by inexorablydrawn

(Last updated May 5, 2020) 8 chapters

Rey had spent her whole life pretending to be something she wasn't. She had hoped to live a perfectly average life without influence by her designation. But when fate calls to her, pulling her out of her city comforts, she finds out that accepting who she is might be far easier than being alone when Ben Solo finds her wandering aimlessly in the expanses of nature.

graceless hearts by darthdarcyy

(Last updated May 5, 2020) 10 chapters

Rey Niima, independent Omega and millennial college graduate trying not to starve during a recession, takes a desperate job at a tech support call center. One slow Saturday evening, she watches as a tall, beautiful Alpha moves into the luxury loft apartment building next door. To the apartment directly across from her window. The rest, as they say, is history. you smell like every good memory i've ever had. (previously certain things happen in the dark)

Baggage

in the back with the racks and the stacks of your load by praetorreyna

(Last updated May 29, 2020) (Last updated Feb 10, 2020) 11, 2 chapters

Rey is a senior in college, and ready to graduate the top of her class. Enter Ben Solo, her new literature professor who happens to be an alpha. An alpha that also happens to smell irresistible. Her mind is telling her to keep pushing forward, but her hormones are saying the complete opposite. She just needs to make it through the year with out consequence. That shouldn't be too hard, right?

vignettes for Baggage

the threat is real

when his sight goes red again by 11minutes (redlondons)

*Finished* (last updated May 8, 2020) 7 chapters, 1 chapter

Kylo Ren is sick of going through his ruts alone. Rey is sick of going through her heats alone. A dystopian soulmates au with a happy ending.

Our Royal family is trying to get back into the swing of being together. Padme is being the grandmother she was always supposed to be to Ben. Rey has a secret that will cause havoc in the kingdom. And what happens when the Legacy Saber is stolen and Ben shows the depths of his dark side powers? Alderaan is in a state of revolt, Rey and Ben have a lot of work to do!

Lost & Sold by MalevolentReverie

(Last updated May 18, 2020) 11 chapters

Rey is ten days from her work visa expiring. Her boss, Leia, happens to have a single son who’s more than happy to help.

On The Brightside by Spencebox

*Finished* 3 chapters

On the bright side, he had a nice house.

The Ecumene by P_Dunton

(Last updated May 26, 2020) 35 chapters

The Ecumene (or oecumene): the permanently inhabited portion of the Earth as distinguished from the uninhabited or temporarily inhabited area. In the world where Alphas are meant to rule, Kylo Ren is aiming to wipe the Omegas off the face of the Earth. In the world where Omegas are meant to serve, Rey Johnson has suddenly discovered her true designation.

Good little omega by kylosbrickhousebody

*Finished* One Shot

Only a month ago, Rey found herself trapped in her worst nightmare: presenting as an omega and bonding with a strange, older alpha. Trapped under his care by law, Rey finds herself running from the alpha at every turn. Ben tries to convince her otherwise.

Post: Part 2

19 notes · View notes

kuroopaisen · 4 years

Note

HEY it’s me the anon from a few days ago that told you they’d panhandle for the in between crumbs 👨🏻‍🦽 i read pt 1 again while i ate lunch after work and omgncnsms i forgot how much i loved them lowering their walls (and the hesitation that comes w sharing something personal,, tbh not me i just be sayin shit sometimes yk MFNSNSN) but i rlly wanted to ask how long the writing process took you (in general and for this fic), what order you wrote all the scenes in (1/2)

and your favorite scenes from the fic 🥺 or rlly anything you want i love hearing ppl talk abt their writing 🥺🥺 i might send more asks as i inevitably reread the series tho LMAO i woke up today and told my best friend (who’s been lobbying for me to watch more than half of season one,,,, My Bad) that i was rereading this fic for The Serotonin 🤝🤝 also to avoid confusion i’ll call myself pan anon for now!! (2/2)

PAN ANON that’s so cute!! real talk, thank you for showing so much interesting in this fic? it’s my lil baby, and honestly hearing that you’re literally re-reading it is so wild to me,,, i have trouble conceptualising it? but thank you so so much you’re so sweet :( i’m so glad i could provide you with that precious Serotonin, that’s all i want to do,,,

you’ve given me the space to ramble so ramble i did,,, and therefore it’s under a cut fklfds i’m so sorry but also thank you so much (if you do want to ask more questions, don’t be afraid to! although this is,,, v long so i completely understand flkjsklfj)

how long the writing process took

in general: depends on a lot of factors, to be honest! how inspired i am, how long it’s going to be, how developed the idea is,,, generally, I tend to work on fics when I’m inspired to do them, or i won’t touch them for a long period of time. so, it’s hard to give an exact timeframe.

for example, iwaizumi’s birthday fic (ataraxia) was banged out in about a day? concept, writing, everything – mainly because i was on a timeframe, but also because it’s a relatively simple fic. simple premise, gentle but simple emotions, simple outcome. and, because i was inspired (see: under pressure), it was easy to get it all out. albeit ataraxia wasn’t beta’d, which is a bit of a problem for it as a representative of my writing ssjfdklj

something like brat, a more thought-out piece, it might take a week depending on inspiration? brat particularly inspired me (and i wish i’d turned it into a multi-parter now, tbh), so it was easy to get into.

for something like this or little changes, it takes a bit longer? little changes took about three weeks from conception to end product! which leads to…

for this fic: this fic was a bit weird in that i had the idea in my head for a few months? sort of,,, little scenes, and the desire to write something about kuroo and nekoma’s manager, incorporating the theme of ‘an in-between kind of love.’ the actual writing process, however, probably took two weeks?

the first week was pretty lax, and then the second was a whirlwind. It’s honestly sort of a haze because I would write for hours straight? i don’t know what happened, and a lot of the first draft was not good by any means, but yeah. that was one wild week.

poor ren (@/w-yuren – if you haven’t checked her out, please do! she’s the auntie of the fic tbh) proofread all of it over the course of a week because i wanted to get it out by a certain date (i didn’t end up meeting this deadline but Oh Well).

what order you wrote all the scenes in

i didn’t have a particular order!! i would just go for the scenes that i felt most inspired to write. for this fic, it was the scenes that took place more around the middle that i tended to gravitate towards? i found it surprisingly difficult to write the beginning (probably because by the time i got there, i had their dynamic established in my head – meaning that them being strangers was difficult to parse), and i put off the ending because i didn’t quite know how i wanted it to end (the original plan had them going to university – the slowest of all burns).

favourite scenes

so one of my favourite scenes was the one where the reader is having a breakdown in the gym; i didn’t end up doing it as well as i would’ve liked, but it gave me a space to explore some emotions i haven’t really had the chance to in my fics yet. it’s a mini-example, for me, of how cathartic writing can be – before this i’d only written a short daichi fic featuring a reader who had anxiety.

being able to tease out those emotions, but having them received willingly by kuroo, was soothing? and i also enjoyed that it gave me some space to give kuroo his own development, too; we don’t know where his mother is canonically, so divorce is certainly possible. and, speaking as a child of divorced parents, that sort of thing really affects you – often more than you realise. getting to explore that concept without making it the main point of the fic was enjoyable, in some way? it feels like the wrong word, but i can’t think of a better one.

i also enjoyed the scene where kuroo’s feeling down, and both kenma and the reader notice. bc this is a fic and not a full-blown novel, the relationships both kuroo and the reader have with other characters inevitably fall to the wayside, so i enjoyed every opportunity i had to explore the dynamics with other members of the nekoma team. and because kuroo and kenma are so important to each other, it was a joy working out how that’d factor into moments like this (especially since we don’t tend to see kuroo be down, you know?).

I also enjoyed the “ethically sourced” scene just because they’re being such Dumb Teens and i thought the dialogue was naturalish?

i also like the scene at the end of part 2, because i like exploring how we conceptualise love versus how we experience it. kuroo’s very much trapped between the two in that scene, and i think it’s very much something a teenage boy would contend with. especially because the way he conceptualises romantic love makes it something scary, something that could threaten the relationship they currently have.

and finally, i really like the final scene for two main reasons. one, because they don’t need to say “i love you”; they both know. and they know, because they exchange the “i wouldn’t be who i am today without you,” which speaks to their friendship and how they’ve affected one another. it’s also the culmination of both of them realising that it’s okay for them to feel multiple kinds of love for one another, and one doesn’t transcend or smother the other.

two, because it’s a moment of genuine, comfortable vulnerability; something that they’ve always offered each other in one way or another, but it’s usually been one of them comforting and supporting the other. but in this scene, the vulnerability is shouldered by both of them (the reader betrays her vulnerability by giving him a thoughtful present, and kuroo betrays his vulnerability by tearing up and making his confession).

honestly i had some lofty ideas that i don’t think i totally made good on, but i like these scenes because they gave me the opportunity to explore emotions that i find very interesting, or that relate to my own experiences with love; it’s always been a very strange grey area for me, and since i like to write for catharsis, the in-between was an opportunity to reflect on that!

i love the friends-to-lovers trope because it focuses on that interplay between different ideas of love, but in a mundane context, what does that mean? how do you draw the line between the two? should you draw that line?

so i’ve rambled a lot (looking at this wall of text,,, i’m so sorry) but thank for you for letting me indulge myself aslkjd my vocabulary is very limited and i hope i don’t seem like a Tool.

10 notes · View notes

rosepetals-flyingbirds · 5 years

Text

Moving on. (2/3)

Pairing: Kylo x Reader, Poe x Reader.

Word Count: 2k.

Warnings: An abusive relationship so if its a trigger for you consider not reading, angst and maybe some tears.

PRIOR CHAPTER.

The thing is, Kylo Ren is the love of your life. And you know you are his, but it wouldn’t work.

You tried all you could do be with him, you stood when the work hours became bigger, when he started to get frustrated, when he forgot important dates as your birthday or your anniversary.

But the worse thing was when he got mad and yelled. He never laid a finger on you, but had days he was so mad that you thought he would.

With Poe was completely different, when things got tough in his life, he didn’t push you away as Kylo, no, he pulled you closer.

When problems came Poe would sit down and fix the problem trying to find a solution, which was amazing because that is how couples should be.

You loved Kylo too much, so much that you forgot to love yourself.

Kylo yelled? ’He is tired, things are tough at work.’

Kylo got home at 02 AM after ignoring all your worried calls? ’He needs space to think.’

Kylo stopped caring if you were happy or stopped asking about your day and life’s problems? ’He has too much on his mind.’

Kylo literally traveled when you were sick in bed? ‘He has to, his uncle needs him.’

Kylo sat to eat the dinner you cooked and only ate two forks of it before throwing in the trash? 'Well, maybe he ate something a work.'

The relationship reached that point. But you saw it wasn’t his job that was destroying your relationship, it was him.

Once Rey was making a party to celebrate her anniversary with Finn and since Kylo was going to be late anyways you went there and had fun with your friends Finn, Carissian and Poe aside Rey’s other guests.

It was at a club and even though your heart was sad because of Kylo ignoring you, you placed a smile and made sure to enjoy your night.

You were dancing with Carissian when he excused to grab a drink and left you alone, ignoring it you just kept dancing and having fun.

Someone touched your arm and started to dance with you, the guy asked if he could join and you found the fact that he asked cute and knowing he was Finn’s friend he was probably nice, and it wasn't sexual moves, the guy weren't even touching you.

But yet the next thing you saw was the man being pulled back and being punched by Kylo. You widened your eyes and went to help the man on the floor. He was trying to understand what happened, it was too fast. You looked at Kylo mad at the stupidity act. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Kylo scoffed. “With me?! I wasn’t the one grinding my body against someone else, who isn’t your boyfriend by the way.”

You hated to fight in public, and of course the DJ had to stop the music.

“Not here.” You said but Kylo was with a mocked smile on his face.

“I decided to go home earlier to spend a fucking time with my girlfriend but what do I find? A piece of paper. Just to find you here grinding into that fucker!” He yelled, tears prickling in your eyes.

Poe came running and tried to calm Kylo down only to be pushed away, Kylo looked you up and down before he scoffed, he started to yell again but when the security came he left.

You stood there completely ashamed of the situation, eyes on you made you feel like you were dirty. Finn and Rey came running to calm you but you needed to breathe.

And the only thing you could worry about was: Kylo.

Leaving the place you searched for him, he wasn’t there, worry grew on you.

Thoughts about him driving mad and what would that would lead to. At that moment you assumed how bad he was making you. He went to meet you at the party and punched a man that was only being nice to you, yelled at you in public and destroyed your night, well, your friend's night.

You couldn’t go back to his apartment, but you hadn’t another place to go.

Taking deep breaths and cleaning your soaked face you walked inside and asked Rey if you could stay at her house. She answered with an ‘of course’ and you asked for the keys, she tried to go with you but you declined and said she had to celebrate her anniversary with Finn.

To resume what happened that night was: tears. You cried to sleep thinking about how much you loved Kylo and how things got into that.

The day that followed you woke up with your eyes terrible swell and a terrible headache due to the incessant crying.

You had to go to work but your clothes were at home which you shared with Kylo and you couldn’t see him yet. You needed space.

But you couldn't skip work. It was 08 in the morning and you waited til 10 to go back fully knowing Kylo had a meeting with some Chinese associates that he wouldn’t miss.

Even if the evil thoughts made you wonder if he had found some girl to put his frustrations on, or how maybe he was trying to end things, that is why men start to act so stupidly, right? You had to go back.

Finn asked if you wanted him to drive you but you declined and thanked them for the abode.

You grabbed an Uber and seeing the look the driver gave you duo the terribly broken appearance you ignored and was happy that the app allowed to give the adress before, in that way you hadn’t to talk besides the good morning.

At your house... well... Kylo’s, you got surprised when you saw him sat on the couch. Your breath hitched and you tried to run to the bedroom to grab your things. “Y/N.” He called and you shook your head. “We need to talk!”

Grabbing your clothes and entering the bathroom locking the door you took a deep breath. “Not now Kylo.”

You could hear him taking deep breaths, trying to control his feelings. “Please.”

He begged silently and you knew how hard that was, but you couldn’t magically forgive him.

He needed to do more than that.

After your shower and placing makeup to cover your drained-of-life face you left the place only to see Kylo sat on the floor waiting for you. “Listen I’m sorry-”

You rushed through the bedroom to grab your purse and tried your best to ignore him. “Kylo I’m late.”

His steps paused. “You will walk away?”

"I need to be there today-”

Before you could finish he started to walk around rubbing his face. “I lost the chance of my career and you WILL WALL AWAY?!” You flinched at his loud tone of voice, there he was.

You looked up at him with a punch on your heart, he was sorry because he lost the meeting, not because you were being destroyed day by day. “Kylo I love you, but you have no idea how much you're hurting me right now. Goodbye.”

You walked out before he could say something else.

That day at work was stupid, you couldn't focus and you even thought of going to a hotel after, you didn't want to see him and didn't want to be a burden to any of your friends.

A part of you, a really big one, wanted to suck up and go back to Kylo ready to fix things because you loved him too much.

Another one wanted to find a hotel and stay a few days alone to put your thoughts in order.

And the last one was yelling for you to look up for yourself, Kylo was never the prince charming but at least you were sure he loved you, but you weren't sure anymore. And the way he has been treating you lately wasn't acceptable.

…

Poe was… a friend. You met him because of Finn. Once you hung out at the Finalizer that was a bar that belonged to your friend Phasma, and Poe was there so you two had a lovely conversation.

Kylo came back from his travel to Japan and texted you asking where you were, you told him and a few minutes later he appeared ready to take you home. When he did so, you smiled and kissed him, glad to see him again after a week far, but Kylo stared at Poe for a few seconds before placing his hand on your lower back and taking you home.

In the car you asked what was that, it couldn’t be pure jealousy. Kylo explained that Poe used to be his friend, but Kylo always felt aside because Leia liked the young pilot too much.

Leia worked in the council and was important in the city government, Poe was a pilot there and they were friends despising the age difference, even Han liked Poe.

When Kylo told you that you understood, of course Kylo’s parents didn’t love Poe more than their own son, that was Kylo’s mind playing tricks.

But you didn't treat Poe differently because of that, whenever you saw him with your friends in common he was a great company.

And when you and Kylo broke up you locked yourself from the world for a few weeks, it was terrible.

You lost weight, your hair and nails grow weak, you couldn’t stop crying, you couldn't eat without being nauseated.

Gladly you had to go back to work so you put your mind at place and decided you couldn’t allow Kylo to still make you feel bad even after you two weren’t together anymore. Your phone was filled with pictures of him and you, filled with texts, photos of the flowers he used to bring home, of the trips you two made, the dinners he took you to because he wanted to show you off, the girl that was too good and too kind for Kylo Ren.

You deleted it all, it was an impulse and you knew you would regret later, one stupid part of you thought that he would change, he would apologize and you would forget that ‘ugly phase’ of your relationship. After all, he was the love of your life.

But it didn’t happen.

You asked for an advance salary because you needed to rent a apartment, they did, happily. And you had some extra money saved in the bank which helped.

A few friends offered you their house, like Phasma and Rey, but you needed your own space.

Needed to put your life back in order.

And when you went to the bank you saw some extra money, as a nice person you called the agency and asked what was it, seeing the place it came from you grunted. Skywalker Enterprises.

When you started to date Kylo he always tried to pay for everything, even before he received a good salary, before you two lived in a fucking penthouse.

It was nice of him but you hated to feel like you were taking advantage of him in some way, hated to feel useless. So you told him you would pay for something, the power light and water was paid by the company so you said you would pay for the food. In Kylo’s heart, he would pay everything for you, you could quit your job and stay at home being pretty for him but you didn’t want to lose your independence.

You knew he wouldn't be the one to send you the money, he was too proud, and he wanted you back home. It wouldn't make sense for him to send you money to rent a new place.

So you called Luke instead. He was amazing and treated you like a daughter rather than 'niece-in-law’, he called you for a lunch and you made sure Kylo wouldn’t be there, Luke was clever and you didn’t want some surprise. Luke promised it would only be you two so you agreed to go.

He said how sorry he was and how much he would miss to have you around, you nodded sadly and you asked him to retrieve the money, he didn’t and explained that Kylo was worried where you would live since you had no place to go.

You told Luke you didn’t need the money, and you found a great apartment already, Luke didn’t trust you and said he wouldn’t take the money back. “Then it will stay there.” You said.

“Then it will.” Luke answered and ate his lunch with a smile.

Smiling back at him you shook your head. “You know, you and Leia are so stubborn, I guess that is why Kylo is too.” You giggled but your smile faded slowly at the thought.

With the passing of days, you found a new apartment, since your things were on Kylo's you sent Rey and Finn to grab them, apparently something happened between Rey and Kylo since she was extra mad at him.

Your friends took your stuff and you slowly decorated the new apartment with your taste. Of course wasn’t as spacious nor prettiest as Kylo’s, but it was yours.

It was very hard to get used to wake up alone. To sometimes smile seeing something and looking around your place unconsciously searching for him.

But you had too.

...

At Phasma’s pub, you smiled when you saw Poe there, he was carrying a guitar and he politely talked with you, you apologized for the prior occasion you two saw each other, about Kylo’s behavior in the club.

Poe knew Kylo’s temper and told you that you had nothing to be ashamed of.

Later that day you watched Poe singing, you didn’t know he did so and looked at Phasma perplexed by his sweet voice. “I know, he is a catch.” She winked and you rolled your eyes, a small smirk placed on your face, you definitely weren’t ready to move on.

And use someone as nice as Poe to distract your mind wasn’t the right thing.

For the first day in a long time you had a good time, the drinks Phasma prepared and Poe’s sweet voice soothed you and made you feel relaxed, the heaviness on your shoulders wasn’t so onerous.

That day Poe walked you home, you were a bit dizzy and he didn’t want you walking alone in the late hours.

“You are so talented! I know you are the best pilot, but a singer? You are the whole package.” You shamelessly said, the alcohol on your system didn’t hold any thought back.

“Thank you, I guess.” He blushed and linking your arm on his, you were almost stumbling in the streets.

You took a deep breath and pouted. “You were Kylo’s best friend, what happened? I mean I know what happened," You giggled. "Kylo is possessive, and since Leia and Han love you he was worried and insecure, probably.”

Poe didn’t want to talk about Kylo. He knew breakups are tough and he couldn’t make a move, he was just being a gentleman accompanying you home, but the fact that you thought he was 'a catch’ was making things more difficult.

It wasn’t Poe fault that the first time he saw you he got stuck.

It was on a barbecue at Finn’s old house, he was over and you arrived with Rey holding a tray of muffins. Poe helped you with the tray and felt his heart clinging on a good way when you smiled.

Finn saw the look. “Nu uh! Don’t even try, she has a boyfriend;”

Poe smile faded but his eyes were still staring at your across the room talking politely with the other guests. “Yeah, I thought so, who is the lucky guy? Or girl? Do I know?” He asked sipping his beer.

“Actually you won’t believe how small that world is.” Finn said and twisted the meat an chicken making sure he wouldn’t burn the food, he wanted to impress Rey after all. “Remember your best friend? Kylo Ren?” Finn pointed the spatula at your direction. “Well, Y/N is his girlfriend.”

Poe widened his eyes and coughed when the beer hit the wrong place. He looked at his best friend trying to find any hint of jokiness. “You are lying.”

"Oh, trust me. I wish I was. Y/N is Rey’s friend but also is mine, I love her. And we used to hang out all the time, but after Kylo? Its like he locks her in his castle.”

"Why? I mean, she doesn’t look the type that would date someone for money.”

Poe was puzzled, Kylo wasn’t the healthiest person to have a relationship with, why would you be willing to date an arrogant man? “Trust me, she is not, she really really loves him. How? I don’t know.” Finn hated Kylo, he worked with Han and Chewie -Han’s best friend, Chewbacca was his nickname and Finn never dared to ask his real name- and every time he saw Kylo the man was extremely arrogant.

Poe’s face went fully sad and Finn tried to cheer him up. “Ey, who knows someday? I mean, sometimes love ends, and who knows you and Y/N gets together? It would be great, we could hang out as couples.”

“Who knows.” Poe answered but didn’t hold many hopes.

That was the first time Poe saw you, he was amazed at how nice you were and wondered how Kylo Ren managed to win such a nice girl.

...

It wasn’t to turn in relationship between the two of you, it just happened.

After getting over Kylo, which took eleven months, Rey set a few dates, seventy percent of them you called before giving some stupid excuse, but after more three months alone you needed some action, you needed to be touched and allow yourself to forget Kylo.

But men were so boring, even the one that has traveled the whole world and spoke four different languages, he wasn’t…

(…) he wasn’t Kylo.

Each one was boring but Rey and Finn took you in and said how much they missed having you around, Poe was nice and kind… and after 9 months you tried to move on, Poe cared enough that he respected your time, respected your heart and when you finally allowed to be loved and touched by him he knew he couldn’t mess this up.

Dating Poe was different, was calmer, his work hours were smaller and you would always be on Phasma’s pub on Fridays hearing him sing.

Your days were brighter and you laughed more.

In one exclusively Friday helping Phasma delivering the drinks you wondered about one Friday you cried to sleep in Phasma's house after a fight with Kylo.

It was after a stressful day at work all you wanted was to take a relaxing bath with Kylo and sleep for 2 weeks straight.

But when you stepped inside the place it was empty.

Of fucking course it was.

Frustrated tears left your orbs at every step you gave, Kylo doesn’t love you anymore, you knew that. It wasn’t a phase, and as more you ignored it, the more you would get hurt.

After a hot shower and washing your hair trying to help you in some way, you walked to your shared room.

You sat on the edge of the bed and you looked at the photo it had of you and Kylo when Luke called you to Christmas, the night you met Leia and Han. Kylo had a lovely family, even if he didn’t believe so.

You let a frustrated sigh and touched your heart, this was bad. Deciding to break your heart, even more, you grabbed his notebook to see the photos.

The albums saved of each year you two spent together.

But when you opened you saw his e-mails and messages open. You didn’t want to intrude but well… you did.

A woman’s name was in the recent ones, she had sent heart emojis to his number, so these messages were also on his phone.

Widening your eyes you opened and read the messages trying to find a context, maybe her dog died and Kylo sent his condolences.... "Please God let it be her dog being dead."

You scrolled up and saw the messages:

'The dinner yesterday was amazing.'

Reading over and over you tried to find a reason, maybe she was a partner of Luke and Kylo made some agreement. But yesterday was the day you stood awake till 2 AM waiting for him, didn't matter if you were dead tired, and when he got home he ignored your worried state saying he worked til late with Hux.

Reading and reading you saw how easy Kylo was answering. He was having an affair.

It hadn’t anything that implied sex but if he was having dinner with that woman and lied to you. It was pretty damn obvious.

On his e-mails, the big part was with sketches of the works and new deals.

But another woman was thanking him for helping her with a new job, thanking him for giving her a job.

But he don't hire people, Hux does that and Kylo never took part saying he hated all the bureaucracy that followed.

The door opened and you heard keys being thrown at the plate near the door.

When Kylo entered the bedroom he just looked at you, no “good night” nor “hello”.

Looking at him taking his suit off you wondered about the messages. “Who is Emily?”

Stopping his steps he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.”

Scoffing you bit your lower lip. If it was nothing he would at least tell you who she was. “Then why you had dinner with her yesterday?”

Realizing it was his computer on your lap and not yours his face grow angry. “So you meddle in my stuff now?”

"Don’t throw the guilt on me. Who the fuck is Emily, Kylo?”

“She is an associate, you don’t need to bitch about it.” Widening your eyes at his words you got on your feet leaving the notebook open above the bed. It took a lot of control to not smash it at the window!

“Bitch about it? Fuck you!”

He grabbed his notebook and closed the tap throwing in the nightstand. “Since when you mess with my stuff?” He yelled making you flinch.

“You know what? Sorry if I missed my fucking boyfriend and wanted to see some photos because all we have now is this: memories! SORRY IF YOU GOT MAD THAT I DISCOVERED HOUR AFFAIR WITH THAT WHORE!”

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!”

Your heart was hammering and you felt like you would have a heart attack, you scoffed and rubbed your eyes trying to clean the tears. You walked a few steps away from him, your hands were literally trembling with nerves. “So you are seeing someone else?”

“You act like I can’t have a fucking friend, but hang out all the time with Finn you do.”

“Finn is Rey’s boyfriend! Matter fact why I would a cheat on you? Or what? Will you say that I and Rey have an affair too? Or maybe the baker downstairs? Or your uncle? How about Han himself?”

Kylo rolled his eyes and scratched his hair tiredly. “That is why we don’t talk anymore! You are impossible to deal with!” Seeing how his expression was annoyed and not sad you knew you had to leave.

“I can’t do this.” Walking to the expansive closet you started to grab your clothes.

"SO WHAT, YOU WILL LEAVE?" He yelled and followed you, Kylo saw the bag on your hand and how you were throwing your clothes inside of it. “Stop it.” You didn’t and searched your other personal belongings. “I SAID STOP IT!”

He ordered but you didn’t obey you only closed the bag and walked out of his reach.

Kylo pulled the bag strap strongly and it made you lose your balance and fell to the floor. The impact hurt your butt but your tears weren’t because of it.

Kylo looked at the scene and bit his lower lip, it wasn’t supposed to be like that, extending his hand to your reach you quickly slapped it away.

You got on your feet and grabbed your phone, wallet not looking back at him before you left the place.

When you closed the door you slid down and sat on the floor placing your hand over your mouth trying to muffle your sobs. The next thing you heard was Kylo’s screams and things being thrown away breaking on the walls.

But what saddened you the most was that he didn't even tried to reach you.

Emily was an associate, and Kylo wasn’t having an affair, he had kissed her a few times but didn't have sex. He never touched her in that way when you found the messages in his notebook and you two fought because of it.

But after the day he yelled at you in the club he went to her house, when she opened the door Kylo didn’t lost time before attacking her. She gladly threw herself at him and allowed Kylo to take all of his frustrations on her.

He left quickly after and head home regretting what he did.

On the day after when he didn’t show up at work and stood at home waiting for you, he had time to think about everything, regret and remorse were eating him alive. Ren wasn’t good at describing what he felt, but he wanted to at least speak with you. But when you appeared and ignored him and only grabbed your things to go to work he got mad, he lost a day of work, a day that had a important meeting and you just walked away.

Later that day he sat down and wrote all that he felt on a message, he apologized, told you he loved you with the same intensity as he always did etc, etc, et cetera.

And as a fool in love, the words hit you and you forgave him, so you tried again… but then one week later that you two were trying to fix things he saw the Emily girl in the groceries, Kylo was in the yogurt aisle and you on the other side grabbing some other items when she called him. “I missed you last week, waking up and you weren’t there. I mean how wild you were I at least expected for some breakfast, or morning sex to be what? The fourth round?” She shamelessly flirted and Kylo's eyes searched for you, when he found you were leaving the cart in the middle of the market storming out of the place.

Of course they had sex, you were stupid to believe him.

Kylo apologized but just the idea of him touching someone else wounded you deeply. It was the very last drop, you had to break up the toxic relationship before it broke you.

But when you started to leave and he didn’t allow, you saw him with other eyes. He was fuming, mad at himself and how "easily" you would leave him.

Kylo placed both hands near your head against the wall cornering you between his arms. He apologized repeatedly and went to kiss you but you dodged, you didn’t want to kiss the lips of a traitor, and when you dodged his eyes went black and all he saw was red.

He yelled and punched the wall near your head, it was so so near that you felt the air it made. You were scared of him, scared and that wasn’t something a relationship should have.

When you finally left, Kylo knew you wouldn’t be back.

Blinking the small tears that formed you heard Phasma calling you. Setting a smile and enjoying the presence of your friends and Poe -calling him boyfriend was still weird- you had a great night and was happy you were doing your best to move on.

Even if it was the hardest thing you ever had to do.

…

@needyomnivore

Next.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #poe dameron x reader #poe x reader

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uniquelyme789 · 5 years

Text

You are our ‘W’ (a NU’EST Fanfic)

Hi hi, it has been a hot minute since I have written anything, whoops. Sorry about that. Anyway, this is still kindda late, but I got inspired by NU’EST rendition of Deja Vu at KCON LA (pledis stop being coward and officially release that shit). Feel free to reach out to give feedback to requests~

---

“I’m back, sorry for the delay rehearsals dragged on longer than we expected”, Minhyun trudges into the NU’EST practice room after a long day of musical rehearsals.

Being in a musical was a lifelong dream of his, but with the concerts and KCON and photoshoots and preparing new music the intense rehearsals and new genre was wearing him out. Yet the warm fox could only think I got to do better. Truth be told Minhyun was always very anxious. Behind his calm, cool, city-oppa face were worries and stresses he never dared reveal to anyone (even his brothers). Will the fans accept me again? Do we still look good as a group? Maybe the world wants NU’EST W and not NU’EST. Will those akgaes attack my babies again? Are we going to succeed as five? Was Produce and Wanna One even worth it? These thoughts weighed heavy on his mind ever since he returned to the familiar halls of Pledis to once again share the stage with his sworn brothers. These are things that plague his mind at night, robbing him of his sleep, even after the success of ��Bet Bet”.

Success is fleeting, it could have been a mere fluke. Minhyun of all people understood that cruel reality of the entertainment world. That is why he is determined to work harder, not only for himself but for NU’EST. He couldn’t let them fail again.

With that in mind he looks around an unusually quiet practice room. The only sound that could be heard was the whirring of the air conditioning blowing at max speed. And the only sight to be seen was Aron, JR, Ren and Baekho huddled together in the middle of the practice room.

“What are you guys doing?” Minhyun asks while setting down his things and changing into fresh practice clothes.

“Planning our set list for KCON LA,” Ren replies his eyes not tearing away from whatever the four were looking at.

“Oh right, we wanted to do a special stage right? Maybe we could perform our older songs like VVITH, or maybe remix of one of our newer songs? I heard Baekho and Bumzu-hyung working on some stuff the other day it sounds really good,” Minhyun suggests lazily while fixing his hair in the adjacent mirror.

“Yea we could, but we want something that would be shocking and unexpected,” Aron sneaks up behind the tall pale fox and locked his arms behind him as if to physically represent the “shocking and unexpected” performance they wanted.

“Oh my gosh, yaaaa, hyung what are you doing?”

“Surpriseeeeee,” Aron teases.

JR gets off the floor and approaches Minhyun with a sneaky smile.

Oh my gosh they are gonna tickle me, Minhyun thought. Ever since August began the boys have been relentless in teasing Minhyun at every given opportunity, regardless of whether it is celebrating his birthday early while they were in Jakarta, or just random tickles as “gifts of love”. Even when his birthday passed their childish antics didn’t stop, though Minhyun undeniably enjoyed the attention as well.

Minhyun squints his eyes in preparation for the attack but all he was met with was a slight prick to his forehead. Cautiously he opens his eyes to come face to face with a giggling Beakho, JR and Ren.

“I’m not gonna tickle you, this is serious. Pick one this is your last birthday present from us,” JR laughs while showing off three envelopes for Minhyun to pick.

“What are they?” Minhyun questions suspiciously.

“The final piece to our set list, c’mon just pick one, our proposal is due to the managers tomorow we gotta hurry!” Baekho rushed while holding in his laughter.

Hmpfh, whatever, how bad could it be?

After Aron releases him from his arrest, he casually picks off the right-most envelope from JR’s hand.

“Oooooooooo, so you have made your decision. Let’s see what it is,” Aron quips excitedly.

JR, Baekho and Ren are also holding in their smiles at this moment, in anticipation of Minhyun’s reaction to their little surprise.

What is wrong with them? With one smooth action Minhyun rips the envelop open and takes out a small piece of paper.

On the paper it simply wrote “Deja Vu”.

“Haha, Hwang Minhyun you have chosen Deja Vu by NU’EST to be performed at KCON LA 2019,” Ren announced while mimicking Lee Dongwook’s tone from Produce X 101.

Aron, JR and Baekho begin celebrating the event but they notice that Minhyun hadn’t moved an inch, staring at the paper, eyes swelling with tears, on the verge of crying.

“What do you mean. This is my present? How is this a present for me?!! How is performing without me a present FOR ME?!! I knew you guys like to tease me but this is too much,” Minhyun yells in frustration and rubs away the tears in his eyes. In a fit of fury he grabs his bags and heads towards the door of the practice room, he was in no mood to practise with these assholes tonight.

“Wait wait wait wait, hold up hold up, you’ve got this all wrong, we aren’t performing without you, we are all performing together,” Baekho lunges forward and hugs Minhyun from the back preventing him from leaving. Meanwhile, Aron, JR and Ren form a human barricade between upset fox and the exit.

“How are we going to perform this song together?! You wrote this for NU’EST W, there aren’t parts for me. Unless you want me to just be a back up dancer for you guys, which i refuse to do!”

“Oh my gosh, what is going on in your head, and here we thought you were gonna love this. Hold on, gimme a sec, hold on,” Baekho struggles to keep a hold on Minhyun in one arm while he struggled to pull out a pair of earphones connected to his iPhone.

In a rough motion Baekho plugs a earbud into Minhyun’s ear and turns the music on.

At first it sounded like the original version of Deja Vu. Light and mysterious, absolutely beautiful, but to Minhyun it felt like it was mocking him for his absence. Just when he had just about had enough and was ready to make a break for the door the music changed.

The bridge, the bridge was different. A new tune, new lyrics and Bumzu-hyung’s voice?? What does this all mean?

The song comes to and end and Minhyun slumps in Baekho’s arms. “We made remixes of Where You At, Deja Vu and Help Me to fit you in. But they were all too good and we couldn’t decide which one to perform at KCON. We know that you love these songs and have always wanted to perform them but didn’t want to steal mine or Ren’s parts so this was our solution. It’s our last gift to you this year Minhyun-ah,” Aron comforts Minhyun with his calm tone as he gives him a warm hug.

“We didn’t think that it would cause this huge misunderstanding. We aren’t trying to exclude you, if anything we are going to include you in everything we do as a group,” Ren adds his arms into the hugging pile.

“NU’EST is 5, well 6 with we count our L.O.V.Es, but the point is, we can’t do this without you Minhyunnie. You are our ‘W’, so will you join us on this stage?” JR is the last to join in.

Minhyun chokes back the grateful tears that began rising to his tear ducts and says, “Of... Of course I will! I never want to leave you guys ever again!”

HAHAHHAAHHAHAH the boys start chuckling like a fatigued mess and they eventually end up tangled on the ground when they lose their balance. That night, and for the days to come, there was another responsibility added to Minhyun’s to-dos. Recording the new parts for Deja Vu, learning the old and new choreography for the smooth latin track, and rehearsing till the crack of dawn like he always does with his brothers.

It was exhausting, the stress tore away at every fiber of Minhyun’s body. But this was his utopia. He was their ‘W’ when the four boys were without him, but now NU’EST is whole again, and it always will be.

---

On the day of KCON, let’s just say the new version of Deja Vu was very well received ;).

#nu'est #deja vu #nu'est w #hwang minhyun #nu'est fanfiction #kang baekho #kim jr #kwak aron #choi ren #kpop fanfiction

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insanely-creative-things · 5 years

Text

Obake’s Origins Part 2

Big Hero 7 Special

Part 2

(T.D: Blood, murder, mentions of fun times, emotional/psychological abuse, insanity, and escort service. Heed with caution.)

Course there were problems that did stifle their time together, such as high school and college hours conflicting each other; and Kage at times returning home before Nozako got suspicious. But they managed due to Kage's determination to make time together. They both learned about each other and enjoying each other's interest. With Chara, he saw that he is a well meaning, intelligent, and somewhat charismatic guy despite their first (and awkward) meeting, and the few days afterward she learned of his naivety- seeing him blush at every other compliment about him or the snarks about High school. If there was one complaint she had about Kage, though she didn't tell him, it was the fact that he had been a little...clingy. It wasn't something too serious, he just asked about her life and her family and her day... and hold her hand tightly in a vice grip. When she tried to ask about his own life the only people he would talk about was his brother, his father and his teacher, Professor Grandville; but when she asked about his mother though he would go quiet and be visibly uncomfortable. When she saw that expression whenever she asked about her, she realized that his mother isn't exactly someone he is comfortable with and couldn't bear to talk about. So she stopped asking questions alltogether about his mother.

With Kage he learned that despite her occasional snark or when she made cynical remarks about her school; she was a caring, sweet, and thoughtful person. He knew this when there was one time when he forgot to bring money to buy lunch for himself, to which Chara responded by sharing her own lunch with him. He was touched and amazed by this thoughtful act; not to mention that he liked the fact that Chara cooked her own meals and enjoyed it. As of now they are heading to SFIT to hangout, which to say is something as Chara is excited since this is her first time going there.

"So are we any closer now?" asked Chara, giving a slight chuckle as he excitedly leads the way.

"Yep, in fact we're here right now!"

With that they arrived at SFIT, just as lively and colorful as Kage remembered. He wore a big grin and a twinge of pride rise as he saw Chara look around amazed at the scenery.

"Wow! You weren't kidding when you said SFIT is something else!" She then turned her head to meet Kage's eyes, to which he lightly blushed.

"Think you can show me around Kage?"

"Oh umm...Y-yeah!"

He walked ahead a little so that Chara would be close and wouldn't get lost. They had just entered the quad when a classmate spotted them.

"Oh hey Kage!"

When he heard his name he looked up and recognized the student.

"Hey Wendy." Replied Kage, his voice rather luke warm.

"So how's it going buddy?" Asked Wendy. She was a classmate of his that he shares with another student named Trevor Trengrove. While Wendy was OK on his terms, he never really saw her as anything then a classmate to talk to once in a while. Trevor was a different story... and sometimes he wished that Wendy would knock some sense to that sell out at times. While he was lost in his thought Wendy noticed that he was not alone.

"Oh! Hello there! I'm Wendy Wower! What's yours?"

"Chara Bonete. Nice to meet you. Are you a friend of Kage's?"

"Classmates really, but we're cool."

Kage gave a small cough to get Chara's attention, wanting her to enjoy their time.

"Oh!" When Wendy saw Kage's expression she caught on immediately on what he wants and what he's feeling.. a feeling he wasn't aware of.

"I see you two are busy so I better take my leave! I gotta get my robotics thesis complete! Wish me luck!"

With that Wendy left, slightly smiling at the two teens.

With that over and done with Kage and Chara continued exploring around the campus, Kage explaining some of the buildings and projects that the students are developing. They had arrived at the robotics lab where Kage proudly showed his projects to Chara, happy to see her stare in awe of them.

"You really are something Kage. The most advanced project I've made was just exploring electricity with salt water."

"Its still amazing either way,'' responded Kage, " You're special in ways I'm not."

Chara slightly blushed at Kage's compliment, to which Kage blushed in return. They leave the lab where Kage spotted another professor of his going over papers.

"Hi Professor Callaghan!"

"Hello Kage, nice to see you too."

Chara looked back and forth at the two as she immediately recognizes the man.

"Callaghan... As in Callaghan's laws of Robotics? I'm Chara Bonete! Its nice to meet you sir!" Blurted out Chara, holding out her hand to shake his. Callaghan blinked before he chuckled lightly.

"She's a lot more excitedly then you mentioned Kage. Its nice to meet you Chara." When he shook her hand she was stuck between excitement and curiosity.

"Wait...Kage talked about me?"

This causes Kage's heart to pause as he realized that Callaghan revealed that he talked about her.

"Kage told me and Professor Grandville about you from time to time. He certainly values your companionship and says you're very smart."

"T-thank you." Chara's eyes looked down, still smiling but blushing as she was flattered that Kage talked to them about her and enjoyed her company. Callaghan's eyes directed to Kage to which he is blushing madly and using his black jacket to actually cover his face.

"Well, I hope you enjoy your visit here. Have a good day you two."

And so he walked away, a smile on his lips as he looked back and saw Kage flustered to which Chara calmed him down and held his hand. With that Kage led Chara to head out and walk around the city when he looked down and realized that they are still holding hands. Now both teens are blushing as they stood in awkward silence, finally Chara spoke up.

"T-thanks for showing me around SFIT. It's certainly an experience here."

"I-If you want you could apply here.." said Kage, his other hand twisting the hem of his jacket.

"I'll think about it." said Chara, rubbing her neck as she turned her head as Kage tried to calm his beating heart as he looked at the blushed face of his friend.

"I better get home now... See ya later Kage?" Asked Chara.

"Definitely...'' replied Kage.

They both waited for the other to let go of their hand only to find that they hadn't. After a few moments, Kage finally let go of Chara's hand, to which she gave a small smile before she went back home, with Kage smiling to himself as he remembered how her hand felt on his... A feeling he'll definitely remember later that day, his face turning pink.

Kage was sitting with Chara in the Quad after his classes had been done with for the day as did hers. He was enjoying the lunch she made for him on a clear sunny day, a day he was happy to share with her. It is now his 15th birthday, and the first one he's spending outside. He had already received his birthday present from his brother before he left, which was a set of tools for his schoolwork, and money to buy Ube cake for him and Chara. When he finally revealed Mizuchi his feelings about Chara, Mizuchi ultimately pulled out what he had been feeling for her for the passing months: He had fallen in love with her. At first he wanted to deny such a feeling, certain that it was just a deep friendship. But as he focused more on the feeling and pieced together what it truly is...he finally admitted to himself that he had fallen in love... which is simultaneously exciting and terrifying. Mother had always told him that no one, not even the most insane lunatics, would ever consider him boyfriend material. Which was why that part of him wanted to deny his love so badly, because he's afraid that if he admitted his emotions to Chara, she would reject him and therefore prove his mother that she had been right all along... that no one would love him...

"So you were saying something that happened at school earlier about Wendy Wower and her friends?"

Kage shook out of his thoughts and slightly chuckled at himself as he recalled the memory.

"Oh yeah! As I was saying, Ren tried to warn Trevor not to lean too close to the crustacean tank but it was too late, his nose was pinched by a crab and he went running in circles before Ren ripped it off his nose."

Chara chuckled at the story, smiling mischievously. Finally she calmed down as she looked at Kage again.

"So... Whatcha got for your birthday Kage?"

"I got a tool set by my brother, a birthday card from Wendy and Ren...and a hair comb from Trevor." replied Kage, slightly chuckling at the thought of Trevor.

"Oh cool. So then..."

Chara slowly pulled out a package wrapped in blue wrapping paper with the words Happy Birthday! on it.

"Y-You got me a present Chara?" Asked Kage, his heart fluttering in the highest setting.

"Y-Yeah...Are ya gonna open it or not?" Asked Chara, leaning forward to give it to Kage. He grabbed the package and soon ripped off the paper to reveal a red, hand knitted scarf just for him. He held up the scarf to look closer, noting every stitch that wove perfectly and the softness of the yarn before he wrapped it around his neck.

"It took me a while to learn how to knit but I kept going till I got it right...do you like it?" Asked Chara, rubbing the back of her head shyly. Kage looked up and gave a heartwarming smile to which had Chara's own heart fluttering.

"I love it Chara...as much as I love you."

When those words flew out of his mouth both teens froze and could not believe what had just happened. To Kage his mind is going into panic mode as he realized what he just said to her, scolding himself for even saying the L word to her, especially with his mother's words ringing at the back of his mind. Finally Chara broke the silence.

"You like me? Really? Are you serious?"

So far her tone isn't mocking thankfully, just sounding genuinely confused, but he was still unsure about it.

"Yeah... It just feels so right...You know that I'm not usually those spiritual types but this feeling I have...about you just feels right..."

A few moment pass before he heard giggling. Fearing the worst he tried looking down only to see Chara's hand on his.

"Huh...I'd figured you would like someone else instead of me. After all, from what you told me so far...there's lots of pretty girls where you live. But I guess...what I mean is..I-I thought you would just see me as a friend. So much for being smart kids huh?"

When he heard her answer, her response to his confession...his entire world gained new light.

She loves him...She genuinely loves him...

Before either was aware he had already leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. Their hearts pounded loudly in sync as at this new action happening between them. It is after the kiss ended that Kage realized what he had done and began to blush immensely.

"I-I'm so Sorry! I d-Didn't-What I mean is-"

Chara quieted him by giving him a quick kiss on the lips, to which he gave a very lovesick smile. She blushed as she twisted the hem of her jean skirt in a blushy mess.

"Its OK Kage. Sides...Glad you're my first and second kiss."

"...Mine too."

While they had their moment two certain students were watching this happen in front of them.

"Yes! They did it!" Whispered shouted Wendy.

"Yeah! Now Trevor owes us twenty bucks!" replied Ren.

Just then Professor Grandville came walking by, seeing one of her students and her friend giggling happily over something.

"Professor Grandville! Guess what! It happened!" Smiled Wendy.

"What happened?" Asked Grandville, genuinely confused. Finally Ren pointed to the scene in front of them. Now the two teens are kissing each other for the third time, now fully allowing them to relax and enjoy this blissful, peaceful moment. Needless to say Grandville was surprised. She did know about Kage's relationship with Chara and had chatted with her a few times, but it seems that their feelings are far more deeper than she originally thought. Nonetheless, she says nothings and waves good bye to her students, slightly smiling to herself, wondering just how these two teens would affect those around them now that they went from friends to being a couple.

Kage and Mizuchi are now at the elder's room chatting together as he hears his little brother describe his latest date with his girlfriend Chara.

"After Grandville took our photo a squirrel literally jumped on Chara's head then landed on my lap. She was so freaked out that she slammed her text book on my lap!...Except the squirrel had already left my lap by then." Giggle Kage.

"Oof! That must've hurt!" said Mizuchi, wincing at the thought.

"No, it was fine. She made up for it later at our date." Said Kage, who is now beginning to blush.

"What did she do? Did she make you dinner or?..." Asked Mizuchi, not getting the picture. And when Kage hears his brother's confusion he realized what he almost spilled out. But before either could respond they hear a knock on the door. Soon a robotic servant entered.

"Madame Mizichio requests you two join her at the main hall for a discussion."

"Of course." Nodded Mizuchi, bowing his head respectfully. After the robot left both brothers stood up and Mizuchi immediately set to work on his brother's appearance, making sure his clothes were not ruffled and quickly hid away Kage's precious scarf. Finally the two brothers leave the room and meet their mother, sitting down respectfully as they await for her to speak first. But from what they could catch a glimpse of, her expression showed that whatever they had done greatly displeased her which confused the boys. But they held back their tongue.

"Boys... I know that we all have our hobbies, and our 'interests' tend to develop as we age."

'Yes mother." Replied Mizuchi, neutral faced as his brother.

"I pride myself as an understanding woman,'' spoke Nozako, though Kage thought of rather venomous snarks at her when she described herself as that, " And there are situations I can be accepting. But I do not want to be left in the dark when it comes to you two..now could either of you tell me..what exactly is this?"

From her sleeve pocket she pulled out a ripped wrapper. At first Mizuchi thought it was a candy wrapper which made him furrow his eyebrows a little as he thought it was his mother nitpicking over a childish act they clearly didn't do. But then he noticed his brother's eyes which were frozen at the wrapper. Now focusing his new eyes he saw what kind of wrapper it truly is.

An opened condom wrapper.

" You two can be excused if you answer me this question: Did either of you have intercourse with someone?"

Both boys sat in fear as they pieced together was its going on. Nozako pressed further.

"If its you Mizuchi, its understandable. Afterall you are the heir, and you are aware that impregnating someone of lesser value would damage our legacy. If its you Kage… well at least you are responsible enough to know that no one would want the burden of carrying your child. But one of you should tell me what are their names...I would like to talk to them personally."

Their hearts froze as they tried to think of an answer. Just then one of their guards walked through the door, surprising the two boys.

"What do you think you are doing? I'm having a conversation with my sons." replied Nozako.

"Madame Mizichio, there's trouble by the docks. One of our servants fighting one of our suppliers and they're threatening to do harm to the village."

Nozako stood up and soon starts walking out of the room. She waves her hand to let them know that they are excused. But the look in her eyes showed that this was far from over. When the boys returned to Mizuchi's room Kage immediately went to get his scarf only for Mizuchi to block him.

"What?"

"Kage… I want you to answer me truthfully.." When Mizuchi asked this his voice is calm, but the feeling of dread is as palpable as the fog at the docks.

"When did you and Chara… you know..." It seemed that Mizuchi couldn't bring himself to spit it out, but the look of Kage's face confirmed his suspicion. Kage's mind immediately went to one night where they had been dating for a month; it was a rainy night and they were at Kage's apartment(One chosen by his guardians), they were drying out their clothes to wait the storm. They had a kiss here and there, where it soon grows heated until it eventually lead them to his bedroom...

"Kage… as much as I'm relieved that you are taking steps to protect yourself and Chara...are you out of your mind?!"

Kage snapped out his memory of his first time to look at his brother's face, now exposing the feeling of dread. This confused Kage. Shouldn't Mizuchi be having that he was having all that he wanted now that he is attending SFIT? That he has someone that he could consider having a family with?!

"What do you mean by that?"

" Don't get me wrong Kage, I'm happy you have someone like Chara in your life. But did you see how Mother looked like when she asked us about what you've done!"

"Well lets be glad that we didn't have to answer her."

"Yes! Right now we're safe, but she will come back and make us answer...Kage. I think you should stop attending SFIT and not see Chara anymore."

When he heard those words uttered, something in Kage's mind went...dark.

"What?"

"A-at least for about a month or two-"

"No."

This time Mizuchi is the one to look shocked.

"I am not going to stop going to SFIT or stop seeing my Chara. I need to be there, I almost have everything ready!"

" Before this we had plenty of time in the world! But At this point only a miracle could get us out of here! You need to slow down and think about what to do next! Actually think with that big brain of yours!"

" I thought you trusted me!"

"I do trust you! But I'm trying to tell you that you're not thinking clearly! Its like what Father said, If you don't watch where you run you'll fall off the edge and-"

"You're not my father Mizuchi!"

Mizuchi's eyes widened as he heard that hateful shout directed at him by his little brother, now glaring at him heatedly before he grabbed his scarf and stormed back to his room, slamming the door behind him. He flopped to his bed as he held his scarf close. He could do this! He has to!...But Mizuchi had a point. Now Nozako is getting suspicious, which meant that now he has to create something that could get them away from her and live in peace. And Chara….his heart pounded at the thought of his love. Now he wanted nothing more than to hold her close and hear her heartbeat. He began to fantasize a future where they were far away from Nozako, living in a simple house. Chara would greet him every morning as they wake up, having a kiss or two before their children woke up.

It seemed he became a hopeless romantic as time passed by. But now Nozako is threatening his future and his Chara. He mind went to overdrive mode, brainstorming ideas to see what could get them out of there. Then he thought of one...

Perhaps he will succeed...where Lenore Shimamoto had failed.

Despite their fight Mizuchi still let Kage go to school and see Chara despite his worries, hoping that kage would slow down and watch where he is going. If he doesn't realize how fast he is running he would be too late to do anything as with too slow. With Kage his mind was sent to work. He gathered what plans his great grandfather wrote about Shimamoto's experiment and reviewed it over, checking over calculations and designing it to be more portable. When the time came for the finals at SFIT Kage informed Grandville that he is building a machine that would change the world and would need extra hours to perfect it, to which she agreed despite him not telling what it is. As he built it he realized something...when his invention become global news Nozako would hound him down. But by then he would be protected by business men and government officials to interfere...but that meant that Chara would be exposed to Nozako's wrath. And so with his heart pounding, he told her his plans...and asked her to runaway with him to elope.

"E-Elope?"

"I-I know its a really big question but once I complete the project and sell it I could provide for both of us!"

"Kage...this is really fast..."

Kage looked deep into Chara's eyes.

"You are the most important person in my whole life...would you be mine to hold?"

With that he revealed in his hand a necklace, a silver custom made necklace with a heart. When Chara looked at Kage her mind is caught between immense love or heart tearing dread of the unknown... but she also knew that when Kage had his mind in a goal he would do anything to achieve it, including making each other happy.

"...So..when do we elope?"

When he hear her say that he kissed her passionately, to which she returned in kind. Despite their fears and uncertainties they knew that with each other they will face hell and back and grow from their experience...

BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!

"Ka...Where are...Kage!"

a voice... there was a voice calling out to him...it sounded familiar.

"There you are! Hold on!"

There was pain allover his body, excruciating to the point where even moving a finger would send massive shocks of pain all throughout. Once his eyes cleared enough to focus he realized that the voice belonged to Grandville, whose appearance is covered in smoke and soot.

"The ambulance will arrive soon!"

When he heard that he mustered out what strength he had to tell Grandville.

"P-Please...don't let M-Mother know...she'll kill me...Please!"

He lost consciousness afterwards, his world fading to black. A part of his mind begged him to stay strong, to stay alive for his promised future. When he opened his eyes again there were doctors and nurses wrapping his body in bandages, assessing his damage as Grandville stayed by his side until they delivered him to the van, where he saw her face for the last time..

"Hold on... this boy is Kage Mizichio!" said one nurse.

"Nozako's son? What is he doing here?!"

"Never mind! We must take him back to Madame Mizichio!"

The next time he woke up he saw the bright lights of a hospital, the same nurses that spoke carrying him to the operating table, keeping him stable. Then when they were about to lay him at the operating table he saw her... She walked slowly and calmly...after she had received his book bag containing his journals, textbooks...and letters from Chara that he had exchanged... She walked over and whispered to his ear, which was the last thing he heard before the anesthesia finally injected in his system.

"Shhh...it will be alright Kage... I. Will .Put. You. Back. Together ."

When he woke up he heard the sound of people muttering as well as the beeps of a hospital monitor. He moved his arm only to find himself able to move. Just the he sees a nurse walk inside...one of the nurses that often made check ups on him and Mizuchi.

"Good Morning Young Master. You've slept for quiet a while."

His eyes widened.

"For about three days to be exact. They spent a long time making sure you are healthy and well, even replacing your bones with metal like with the Young Lord."

Three days? Was that how long he was unconscious? Then his memories came crashing through his mind like a tsunami. He was working at the energy amplifier, pride swelling up as he saw spark glow brightly, signaling that his work is nearly complete...then it exploded. Then Grandville found him and made sure to stay by his side till the ambulance came...but the nurses were workers for Mother...which meant-

"Hello Kage."

His eyes froze as he saw his mother enter the room, a small smile gracing her lips as she walked closer to him despite wanting to back away from her. She then pulled out from her pocket sleeve which revealed a journal containing his plans and thoughts, flipping through the pages with an amused glint in her eyes.

"You certainly have been very busy, keeping up with your schoolwork and projects at SFIT...without my permission."

Her nails dug into the book cover, scratching through the surface. She then pulled out a photo...of him and Chara.

"You've also made a new friend too... one you have gotten very intimate with."

She pulled out papers that clearly stated that he had dropped out.

"I took the liberty to cut you off the school, explaining to your Professor Grandville that you will not be attending there anymore after her reckless behavior lead you to your injuries, thus allowing this to happen. She was a pleasant woman...pity that she took on a charity case. There's also a fact about this?"

She flipped to a page where it explained how and where are Chara and him going to meet to elope.

"She's certainly a pretty little thing, and quiet clever in her own way. I sent a letter on your behalf to meet at the place you had planned. On the bright side..."

She pulled out one more item from her sleeve... a sliver necklace with a heart hanging in the middle...soaked in blood.

Nurses had rushed in to restrain Kage as he screamed, cursed, yelled, wailing and sobbed as Nozako's smile turned cruel. Dangling Chara's necklace as a trophy, explaining that now Chara would never learn what had happened to him. His hopes and dreams, his future, his Chara were destroyed. He lost consciousness after one of the nurses injected him with a sleeping medicine to finally shush his tears.

After he had woken up he was thrown in the dark room, slumped like a doll. When he was thrown in his brother looked on with sadness and guilt, helpless as Nozako locked the door before she continued her day as if nothing happened. He felt around to find a corner when he felt something familiar... it was one of his possession and a letter. Using his new robotic eyes the read the letter from Mizuchi which had explained that he managed to place his favorite possessions and food so he would have something to keep him company while Nozako wasn't looking.

Did Mizuchi pity him? Did he dare have the nerve to send his possessions and food like he was a child? Why would he do this unless?...

Kage’s eyes suddenly turned red with rage...

Two weeks finally passed and now Nozako was with Mizuchi, standing by the dark room with an African American servant nearby. The door opened and they were hit with a horrid stench of rotten food. When Mizuchi looked inside he gasped in horror. Kage sat quietly like a doll, but his surroundings were as if it were inhabited by an animal. There were finger nail scratches on the walls, bits of blood from what he presumed were his head banging against it. The food was left untouched, rotten with mold. And his possessions were mangled and ravaged. When he looked up he saw Nozako, Mizuchi and...

His eyes widened as he lunged forward and began attacking the poor maid. Mizuchi stared in shock as he saw Kage punch the woman as she cried out, begging Nozako to restrain him as he shouted obscenities.

"TRAITOR!TRAITOR TRAITOR TRAITOR! I'M GONNA KILL YOU GRANDVILLE! YOU PROMISED I WOULD BE SAFE! YOU PROMISED!"

The guards immediately removed Kage from the woman, her form shaking as she was covered in bruises and cuts. When he was restrained he saw his brother and began growling like an animal.

"I HATE YOU! YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE THERE FOR ME! YOU SPOILED BRAT DIE! YOU DON'T DESRVE TO LIVE!"

Nozako whispered as she had summoned her doctors to help Kage calm down, dragging him like a rabid dog. When she turned her attention to her son, his eyes went hollow, silent tears flowing down as he stared at his brother's deranged form. She sighed as she begins to walk away.

"This is what happens when you allow your self to grow soft. Now Kage is broken...and its your fault. If you had obeyed none of this would be happening. I better not see you make this mistake again."

Kage sat quietly as he saw the Bethrotal ceremony happen. Mizuchi's betrothal to a woman named Momakase, the daughter of wealthy merchants that had moved in the island and a rising sushi chef and skilled ninja. When he met her for the first time he immediately disliked her, finding her to be uninteresting and too cocksure of her skills. The feeling was mutual as Momakase thought of him as a creep and disturbed. It took months of his "therapy' to make him stop behaving as a savage and calm him down to at least bein civilized. His physical recovery had been a success, with doctors reassuring that despite the metallic bones and new robotic eyes he could still process his organs normally and had increased his fertility. Not that it mattered, the one girl who had given him affection and intimacy is gone and with it, his desire to start a family. Over the year Mizuchi had changed as well...his smile was absent everyday, his eyes emotionless and did what his mother told. She had groomed him to be a weapon more than a leader, his height increasing ten fold, his strength rising to the point that he could bench press a truck, and his arms can shift to canons when desired. She had turned Mizuchi to a mindless slave designed to obey, to carry out her orders. This what benefitted them. All of them: To Nozako she could use him to continue her twisted rule on the island now fearing for their lives, Momakase is now the fiancée of a poweful heir with immense riches for her desires.. and Kage would use him to personally insult without his complaint, taking out his anger and blame onto his brother.

His heart tightened as he saw Mizuchi present a betrothal necklace to Momakase; a royal blue chocker with gold threads stitched beautifully, with a gold medallion hanging with their symbol as status of her future role as the Madame. His father told them as young boys that a betrothal necklace should be handmade to their chosen bride/or groom, to show that they will make the effort to support and work with them for long as they lived.

Now his Chara's betrothal necklace, one that he had crafted when he planned their elopement, hangs in Nozako's jewelry pile.

He gave a small smirk when he saw Momakase's eyes have a slight twinge of fear as it made contact with her future mother in law. At least it showed that she could not boast so loudly or else she would displease Nozako.

A week later Nozako announced that she will be gone in a long period of time.

"There are some matters I will have to deal with in York town. When I return we will commence Mizuchi's and Momakase's wedding date. Till then..." She turned her eyes to Mizuchi and Kage, her eyes glaring.

"Don't try to mess it up."

With that she left, no goodbyes. Nothing. Kage grinned as he saw the emotionless glaze continue to stay. Perhaps now he could have the power to do what he wanted...a power that would better be used in his hands.

"Lord Mizichio, we have discovered some particular news during our business trade."

Mizuchi looked up to show that he was listening while Kage stood beside him, placing his hand on his shoulder like a guard dog.

"Explain."

" When were on route we came across a small provincial town just outside of Muirahara woods, we heard the townspeople talk about an old woman and her daughter living in the woods. She works as an herbal medicine doctor with her daughter as an apprentice."

"'And your point is?" Asked Kage.

"They spoke that they have a very powerful herbal medicine that could all wounds and sicknesses...even saving those in the brink of death itself."

Kage wasn't sure if this was meant to take seriously or laugh it off as worthless rumors...but if it were true...It would be very useful.

"You are dismissed."

"Of course Lord Mizuchi."

Kage's fist twitched as he heard the guard address his brother instead of himself.

"A-And you too Kage...have a nice day."

With that the guard left, with Kage looking at Mizuchi as he awaited any orders.

"Brother..." Kage's tone being bitter with slight envy, "Tomorrow I will send you off to Muirahara woods and search for the old woman and her child, learn all you can about the' medicine'... or perhaps send its recipe to me. After wards...to hide suspicion... you will kill them."

Mizuchi flinched when he heard the word kill slip so easily from Kage's lips. So the Demonic Titan has yet to take a life...

"Is that understood you brainless oaf?"

"...Yes Kage… I will carry out your order."

"Good... you are dismissed."

Mizuchi's thoughts ran as he saw his beloved brother's smile slowly grow into the same perverted smile as their mother. Despite handling their people with the respect and care that was remotely close to their father... it was only a matter of time until he became another Nozako…

Kage looked over the papers that had been sent to his brother, to which he groaned in envy and annoyance, requesting for a potential partnership. One was from a small rising gang lead by Yama, wanting money and protection from the police. And another being an aging supervillain who wants to control Mizuchi as a guard dog to defeat Boss Awesome. He threw the old man's letter to the shredder but kept Yama's, already devising a plan to set out protection fees and how to exploit them.

"Hello...Kage."

Kage turned around and saw Momakase, dressed in the finest kimonos and her hair style beautifully. He scoffed as he went back to looking over the papers.

"Hello Sister in law... Is there anything you want from me?...or are you gonna be a nuisance?"

Momakase growled silently.

"Where is Mizuchi? It has been months since you sent him on a scouting mission! And She will be arriving home next week!"

Kage groaned internally at her complaint. He did not like to be reminded that his time in power is cutting short now that Nozako is returning back. He turned his swivel chair around to look at Momakase clearly.

"And the point is?..."

"I want him back here in time for our wedding!"

"Hmmph. Didn't know you're that desperate. Guess you want to get it over and done with at your wedding night."

Momakase blushed red as she glared at Kage, who gave a taunting smirk. She turns around to leave with a handmaiden in tow.

"Good luck raising my brother's brat...Mommy dearest."

She gave out an exasperated screech as she stomped her way out the office. But she did have a point...what was Mizuchi doing there? This is a simple mission, he should have given the go ahead sign and be transported back home. He shrugs it off as Mizuchi being lost in the forest and immediately crawl back home and wait for Mother to come home and fulfill his duties.

That very night a servant came running through the halls; their face showing shock, disbelief, and horror as their heart pounded. they finally burst to Kage's room, who was just preparing to rest when he saw the panting, exhausted servant.

"K-Kage! I-I couldn't believ it!...You-your...he's-"

"Spit it out you moron!" shouted Kage, impatient at the servant's prattle.

"... The lord of the house...your brother...Mizuchi has been slain by the village!"

Time froze as Kage processed what he just heard. Mizuchi... the demonic titan designed by Nozako, who can destroy cities at her command...had been slayed?

His older brother, who had did his best to protect him despite failing him...is dead.

"Lord Mizuchi is dead?"

They turned around as they saw another servant, who had overheard the news and soon ran out, shouting at the top of their lungs about the news. The shouting woke the rest of the servants as they went to alert the rest of the staff, and eventually to two more people. The first was Momakase, who was annoyed at being woken up only to be stuck in shocked silence at her fiancé's demise...

It was approximately five hours later when Nozako arrived to the island, the residents staring in fear as they saw the Madame run in inhumane speed towards the castle… her rage making her look like a possessed demon as she shouts at the top of her lungs, freezing the hearts of everyone who heard it, especially his.

"KAGE MIZICHIO!"

Kage was shoved to the docks, landing painfully as he saw Nozako's furious scowl on the ship. When she stormed in the castle she ordered the guards to bring Kage to her. Soon he was subjected to her wrath, shouting how he had lead his own brother to his demise, how all her process to make Mizuchi into the perfect leader had been wasted to Kage's carelessness. That is when Kage tried to protest that he could take over the clan and lead them in memory of his brother. Nozako gave a cruel laugh in return.

"You seemed to have forgotten boy, but only one with Mizichio blood can lead this clan. And you are no true Mizichio. The only was you could ever hope to be even my equal is to wed the Mizichio Heir! And guess what? Now that he is dead there is no heir for you to even fornicate!”

Then she had dragged him to the docks and pushed him to the ship she had arrived him and sailed towards San Fransokyo where they are now.

"The only reason you managed to stay with us after your father died is because of your brother. How he had allowed himself to let you latch onto him like a parasite. Now you have nothing in this world! You will die alone and forgotten like the rat you've always been! A shadow in a world that will damn you for the rest of your miserable existence! I hope you're happy."

Kage looked at the sailing boat, with nothing but the clothes he's wearing and money he managed to grab. Finally, like a ticking alarm, the reality of this finally struck him. His mind racing with memories of his life. He had lost everything he ever had: First his father, his school, his teachers, his Chara, His dreams...and now his brother...

Oh god... his brother! Memories of his brother crashed through, now breaking the emotional wall as he cried. His older brother, who did everything to make him happy, his first friend is no more...

He did try to start over, to try living an honest life. But he was soon exposed to the grittier side of San Fransokyo. And while it was the criminals and thugs that had inhabited the smaller parts of the city, it was also the corrupt loan sharks that made surviving nearly impossible. He lost count on how many jobs he lost due to his weak frame and his 'ego' driving others into jealous rage. He shuddered at the times where he had gotten so desperate for money that he had allowed others to...have fun with him. It wasn't like his experiences with Chara, where it was filled with soft words and warmth and love. This was dirty, cold, and harsh...and just for loose cash to feed himself.

He resumed his habit of scratching himself till he bled when it started.

What had he done in a past life to deserve such cruelty? To loose everything that he had and wanted so much? No...

It wasn't him that's the problem... it was the city.

He recalled the stories of San Fransokyo, where before the great catastrophe Lenore Shimamoto lived in a city of San Francisco. Where people like her and others not possessing white skin were disregarded, tossed aside and ignored. His father told him that's why the Mizichio Clan originated from: when the founder had been an outcast by society along with others...and decided to take fate to their own hands and create their own world. Where they finally stood up to their oppressors and claimed their place.

Lenore Shimamoto's experiment led to the birth of San Fransokyo, where it had progressed the minorities stand on living and given more power.

At that moment, he smiled to himself as he realized what he can do. What actions he would make to gain all the love and praise that should rightfully be his instead of his brother's. He just needed to find the actual blue prints and rebuilt the amplifier, adjust it to his liking.

And recreate this city to his values, his morals. Where people can venture into science without limits, where they do not have to wonder when their next meal is.

He would create the perfect city from its ashes, become their leader and guide them to a prosperous future...

He will go back and slay the monster he had to call his mother and claim back his home.

He finally found his purpose.

And the World will finally know the name..

of Obake.

#spoilers #bh7 #big hero 6 #big hero 6 fanfic #obake #bob aken #bob aken x oc #chara bonete #grace grandville #mizuchi mizichio #nozako mizichio #robert callaghan #wendy wower #ren seto #ocs #additional commentary:#and this is how obake became a psychopath #momakase

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testyourloyalty · 6 years

Text

Chapter 13

Trigger warning: Attempted (failed) sexual assault

By the time General Hux woke up several days had passed. He requests to have his datapad delivered to him so he could get in contact to see how Captain Phasma is doing. Upon receiving his tablet he sees multiple notifications illuminating the screen with urgency. Hux unlocks it at once and views the messages, relieved to see one from Phasma asking how he is doing after dealing with Kylo Ren. A small smile flashes across his face before he responds stating that he is healing well; he also asks if there is any new information on your location. She responds that she has information on your whereabouts and is planning for a rescue mission as she typed. After hearing that the ginger immediately requests to be let go from the infirmary. Despite multiple doctors and nurses trying to convince him that he should relax and take it easy Hux is allowed to leave and he makes a beeline to Captain Phasma’s office, knocking briefly before entering.

“General Hux, I didn’t expect you to be up so soon.”

“I can’t expect this mission to not have a leader.”

“I was going to attend myself.”

“Then two leaders for extra precautionary action.” The captain smirks beneath her mask, knowing that nothing she will say can or will deter the man in front of her.

“Very well. You will have two Stormtroopers escorting you in this condition however.” Hux’s lips tighten as he slowly nods.

___________________________________________

You were tied and laying on the floor in that cell that you had been living in for the past five days. Your body was covered in sweat, blood, tears, and several other bodily fluids. You had been humiliated, beaten, and spat on; your wrists and ankles are raw from where you have been trying to tear away at the rope. You lost your voice several days ago from the merciless pain that has been inflicted upon you practically every waking moment save for night time. You know that this was not out of the man’s kindness but his own need to recharge for another day of making your life hell. The familiar sound of your cell door opening causes you to roughly gulp, the saliva stinging your aching throat on the way down.

“Please… Kill me.” You meekly whisper. You had given up hope of the First Order saving you from dying alone by this man.

“Don’t worry.” He says as he gets down on his knees, cupping your cheek in his hand and stroking along your lips. You shudder in fear, tears already pooling to your eyes. “I was planning on making today the day. You’ve been alive too long anyway.” You were scared as you want to die, but what would be next? A million thoughts race in your head, but finally they settle on Hux. You wish you could see him one last time. You missed his scent on those pillows you shared, how he pulled you closer and tighter against his chest as you slept, you missed everything about Armitage. You truly feel alone in the universe and the man before you knows it. A sickly sadistic grin is sprawled across his face as he takes in your beaten and hopeless face.

“Missing someone? Good. Now you know how he felt. How I feel!” He growls at you. “I’m going to make this your worst day yet.” You shake and your eyes widen in fear as you see the man slowly begin disrobing himself.

“Wh-what are you doing…” The man grins while staring at you, working on getting his pants unbuttoned.

“Don’t be naïve.” He looks you up and down as he removes the last of his clothes, taking his member in his hand. He gives it a few strong tugs before making eye contact with you.

“Open wide, girlie.” You sob as you feel his hand grab a fistful of your hair and pull you up by it. Unnoticed by the two of you the door to the room opens quietly. You hear a scream of anger, frustration, and maybe even sadness fill the room and immediately the sound of a blaster firing is heard. Your head falls to the floor, a loud banging sound results from it as you fall unconscious once more.

You jolt awake in a panic, confusion as you recall the odd events that occurred before you passed out. You realize that you are no longer tied… no longer in the cell… you are back in a First Order standard infirmary! You look around in disbelief, certain your mind is playing tricks on you. Or maybe you died and this is the afterlife?

General Hux enters the room and rapidly turns his head in your direction. His face shows that of utter joy and excitement much like a child at their birthday party.

“______!” He rushes over to be by your side and grabs your hand, taking it in his larger gloved ones. He is careful to not hurt you, knowing that your fingers are broken. You look up at the general and smile softly at him.

“If I’m dead, this isn’t too bad.” You say half-joking. Armitage’s face shows extreme concern and sorrow, his crystal eyes seem to stab into your soul like daggers as tears start to fill them and fall from his face. You notice the dark bags hanging from under his eyes pairing with several bruises and cuts down his face which cause you to frown.

“You need sleep.” You sternly say to him. He grabs your shoulders and pulls you into a tight embrace, obviously not planning to let go anytime soon. It hurts a little since you have some broken and bruised ribs among other internal damage, but you do not dare say anything. It felt so nice to feel warm tightness holding you with care as the scent of cinnamon, cedarwood, menthol, and cigarettes invade your nose. You almost did not notice that the man began sobbing uncontrollably and clawed at you.

“I thought… I thought you were dead. I thought I was too late. When I saw him I couldn’t control myself. I kept shooting him over and over again. ______ I can’t lose you again. I hate how weak you’ve made me but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” You panic slightly at his words, rubbing his back as you let him spill onto you. He was obviously carrying a lot of stress that came down all at once but what if Supreme Leader Snoke heard?

“S-sir but what about Snoke? He would nev-“ Hux pulls away from you finally and stares into your eyes.

“He’s dead, ______.” Your mouth hangs agape at the news. “Kylo Ren is the new supreme leader.” It did not ease your concerns about a force sensitive supreme leader listening to these words. Almost as if sensing your concern Hux quickly spoke.

“Kylo Ren leads differently. He leads with fear, as far as he’s concerned we just need to stay in our place.” You gulp and nod.

“However you will be in a different place. You will be getting a promotion as well as I. I am going to become the Commander and you are going to be my personal assistant and bodyguard.” You were excited at the implications of getting to see Hux more at work but understood that your job would become a lot more important which meant that there would be less room for error.

“By the time you are healed the changes should be made in the system and your new uniform will be delivered to our new quarters here on Coruscant.”

“Coruscant? Why are we on Coruscant?” You ask, almost afraid to know since Snoke was killed.

“We took significant damage so commanding officers are to report here for more training, preparations, and planning. Since Luke Skywalker is no longer with us we needed-“

“LUKE SKYWALKER IS DEAD?” You could not help yourself but to blurt it out. Hux sighs and nods.

“I will tell you more while you heal, okay?” Eagerly you nod.

You heal rather quickly over the next few weeks thanks to some new drink the First Order was experimenting with that promotes cell growth. Hux keeps to his word and informs you of what happened in the short time you were gone. He also mentions that Kylo Ren has started talking to himself occasionally which the two of you start to assume is due to him slowly losing it after having been beaten twice by that girl.

You notice you have started having nightmares of the man that had you locked in a cell. You decide to try and keep it hidden and to yourself instead of burdening your boyfriend with it when he has his own issues. You notice he has been sleeping, what you can only assume, more than he had been but his bags still were there. You wonder if he is experiencing something similar to you. You yawn and close your eyes, telling yourself that you will have to ask him tomorrow about his sleep as you scooch closer to the ginger who wraps his arms tightly around you.

#general hux #general hux x reader #star wars #Star Wars The Force Awakens #star wars the last jedi

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selfmeditationlove · 4 years

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Attachment is OK For Twin Flames

I've read in Twin Flame literature that it's important to release attachment to an outcome with our twins.

Until recently I could not verbalize exactly why that principle did not sit well with me. The other day it hit me in a way I would like to share with you.

I will offer my own opinion and you will know immediately if it resonates with you, or not.

For twin flames who have met in their physical bodies, it is NOT correct that they must release an attachment to full physical reunion.

If twin flames have met in the physical, and if both know/feel/sense that this lifetime is their last incarnation, it is destined that they meet each other fully in this final physical lifetime. For those who would choose a romantic partnership with their twin- they must hold the vision for that during the challenging first trials and tribulations with twin. Whether one or both twins are aware of the magnitude of the relationship, at minimum the one who is aware of this special connection is duty bound to hold the vision toward complete reunion.

My thoughts on this matter are a result of living this experience & gaining insight as I go.

I sensed there was an amount of fate involved from the time I began to understand the nature of my relationship with twin. Even when the pain of separation was painful to the point of grief; I sensed this was true. As our non physical helpers worked with me over the course of our first six months together, they not only taught me that it was OK for me to work with twin on a soul level, they taught me it was my responsibility. It is the obligation of the awake twin to assist the other half.

Like anything we have free choice. We can decide to quit. Many do. It's understandable why. But if you choose not to quit and to hold the vision for the ultimate reunion... if you can teach yourself to bear the pain that ebbs and flows, and if you are willing to learn more patience than you thought imaginable, it is your obligation to help yourself and twin through.

My guides taught me that unlike other relationships in which a healer must seek permission (such as in energy work), in the twin flame relationship there is no consent necessary, as the two are already one in the very essence of their bond. One does not need ask permission; that would be like asking yourself for permission. You don't ask, you know you must do it.

I am speaking about working with the partner's soul/higher self and guides. Common courtesy applies to twin flame partnerships so when you speak with your twin face to face or by phone, of course you seek permission and talk with them just like you would any other person, but with soul guiding you. As you nurture the relationship, you experience a shift- you realize you ARE soul, you no longer think about it, you effortlessly speak from your higher self/soul. It becomes automatic.

You figure out you are not a mind that knows you have a soul; that flips and you appreciate you are SOUL who is spending time in a human body. This is an extraordinarily rare phenomenon to be aware of this and to have met your twin flame. It feels like the pinnacle of all experiences you can have while in human form.

To get there is difficult. This is not an easy task for either twin. Eventually both will be aware of their connection. At the beginning of the physical relationship, one twin (most commonly the female it seems) is aware & has the demanding task of helping her partner become aware at his physical level of the nature of their link.

I believe those with a physically manifested twin feel the pull of their twin for most if not all of their incarnated life. They may not have words for it, or for fear of being teased they may not discuss it, but they feel it. It's literally as if a human mother gave birth to fraternal twins- a boy and a girl. The twins grew in their mother's womb and bonded so closely they shared everything... they communicated without words, they loved and cared for each other and each knew exactly what the other was feeling and experiencing because they shared the same experience.

At birth, their biological mother gave them up for adoption. Each twin went to separate families. Their adoptive parents did not know they were welcoming a 'twin' into their home... they innocently told the child(ren) they were a single birth(s). Over the years the parents reassure the child that they do not have a twin out there in the world, but the child continues to feel something. Something unexplainable. They feel someone is missing. They know their parents are not lying, but they can not erase the feeling that they have a special person out there, somewhere. Not that they "want or desire" one; that they "have" one. There is no right or wrong, only a difference. You will know which is the case for you.

Typically the child feels the 'missing twin" at special times; birthdays, holidays, especially beautiful days and particularly difficult days. When they feel joy in their heart or sadness to the depth of their being; they feel (no matter how deeply down that belief can get buried) that there is one single other soul who exists who would understand them. The bond is so strong that despite the entire world telling the child this kind of relationship is not possible, the child holds on to a unexplainable element of faith & trusts that someday they will find their twin- their "person" and that their twin is out there looking for them.

We have life experiences that we must have for many reasons, including if we are destined to meet our twin flame in this lifetime. We must have had numerous experiences in preparation. These life experiences may get us to the point where we are no longer certain that the soul we feel in our hearts is actually with us on this planet. We're taught in so many ways that "good" is good enough. Many (myself included) are open to whatever the universe brings & teaches; but while resolving to never "settle' had also concluded that perhaps our most perfect partners are not incarnated with us & are watching over us & guiding us from the other side. We release our expectation of meeting "him or her" but we never stop believing that if the universe does intend for us to meet in the physical, we will know because we will not wonder... we will KNOW.

My life experiences did not lead me to my twin for it to be anything less than ultimately successful. Beyond that, I have come to believe that I am not supposed to release all attachment to the ultimate outcome. This is because of an experience I had months after meeting my twin.

In the depths of the early confusion and pain with twin, I was shown a vision. While I often have visions- being psychic and being a healer, I have visions of one thing or another regularly. It's not a novel concept, but the visions are rarely about me, they are primarily given to provide information I need to assist others.

The first time I was provided a "vision" of what a likely outcome would be for me and twin... I was driving my car. I was listening to music and had managed to get him out of my head for a while. I had been working for weeks and weeks on releasing and forgetting him- that's what the 'experts' said to do- release expectations, detach, detach, detach!

But my guides had another plan. They thrust a vision in my head. I was shocked and said (literally out loud) "Stop it. I must have made that up. Why would you show me that?"

A soft energy, knowingness filtered softly through the car "You are not making this up. Look again when you are ready. There is no rush, look when you are comfortable doing so".

I allowed myself to watch again and saw the same scene...it played like a movie. It would stop when I looked away & it would start when I had the guts to look at the screen.

Again in severe angst I said "Please... stop. Why is this happening? Why would you show me this? I am just starting to feel better; I don't want to see stuff like this... it will just make me hurt more".

I was told "You are being shown a likely outcome- for you to understand why this is happening".

This affected me deeply. For days I waged an internal battle. "I must have made this up, but WHY would I make up something so confusing- why would I have made up something that didn't seem possible given the circumstances with twin?"

This is a critical point. Much information in books and on the internet is fairly consistent- the advice is to eliminate attachment, do not project a specific outcome...

It took maybe a month or two for me to finally get it. This is MY twin flame experience. I was shown this vision of our future for an extraordinary purpose- so that I would not let go of the pinnacle of outcomes- complete reunion in our physical bodies.

I have worked harder than I can communicate on releasing desire and need for the physical body of my twin, I have learned to trust my own soul and his. I rely on the guidance and support I receive from non physical beings that support us on this journey.

What I only recently realized, when prompted by something a dear friend said to me, is that it's not correct that twins must detach from an outcome. It is actually having full trust IN that outcome that gives the aware twin the strength, fortitude and grace under the most extreme conditions to continue loving and nurturing each other through the difficult aspects of this fascinating merger.

I have known that this is my final incarnation since I was a child. I was told certain details about my twin soul's choice in this regard. I didn't ask or meditate for this information- it came to me in a loud voice that could not be ignored. It came to me on the same night- the same conversation - in which I was told it was not only possible, but it was my duty and responsibility to work with twin on the soul level, and to continue working on myself, so that full reunification would take place. They (the spiritual teachers) were clear that if I was willing to do the work, they would teach me what I needed to know.

#twin #heart #meditation

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newyorktheater · 4 years

Text

On his 90th birthday, Stephen Sondheim sang Happy Birthday to Andrew Lloyd Webber…while washing his hands for 20 seconds in his bathroom sink — a playful gesture that is an instantly iconic moment for this new era.

It was Andrew Lloyd Webber’s birthday as well; he turned 72, and the younger composer had more straightforwardly wished Sondheim a happy birthday from his piano room.

They both did this live on the one-night only resurrected Rosie O’Donnell Show (watch here), a fundraiser for The Actors Fund that lasted three and a half hours on Sunday night and featured dozens of Broadway stars, performing from their home via home cam. It was all a reflection of an emerging aesthetic in theater, in the face of the stay-at-home mandate to curb the spread of the coronavirus. Call it the theatrical equivalent of home cooking.

Some of Rosie’s guests had messages meant to inspire. “We lived through a Plague before,” Judith Light said, referring to AIDS. “We were together then, and we’ll be together now.” Click on the photographs of other guests for the captions.

Aaron Tveit

Adrienne Warren in her bathtub

Audra McDonald and Will Swenson “We have shelter, we have each other, and that’s all we know,” she said and then sang “Smile” while he played guitar.

Ben Platt

“Many people in the entertainment community are living on the edge ,” said Brian Stokes Mitchell, , chair of The Actors Fund , which is trying to help — and why he’s hoping we’ll all contribute.

Chita Rivera

Patti LuPone singing “Smile”

Alan Menken

Barry Manilow

Bernadette Peters

Bernadette Peters showing off her life ask

Billy Porter

Rose with Cynthia Errico

Darren Criss singing Being Alive

Gloria Estefan

Harvey Fierstein

Jordan Fisher with his pianist neighbor

Kelly O’Hara

Kristin Chenoweth

Laura Benanti told Rosie she’s working on a project with #FoodCorps to feed schoolkids who would normally get free school lunches. Doing this kind of work, she says, is the way to keep her stress at bay.

Lauren Patton from Jagged Little Pill, wearing a t-shirt with the title of her show-stopping song from the show, “You Oughta Know”

Lea Salonga

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker

Neil Patrick Harris with his kids

Rob McClure

Titus Burgess, Rosie’s first guest

Sondheim Birthday Celebrations

…Stephen Sondheim, 89, nine-time Tony-winning composer, listening in the studio to a recording of the Broadway revival cast album of Sunday in the Park with George , 2019

#Sondheimat90 rewatching the videos of some terrific performances of his songs, several from his 80th birthday concerts, and rereading some of his best lyrics. “Everybody rise!” Stephen Sondheim’s greatest roles and the actors who played them

New Theater and the Emerging Pandemic Aesthetic

Perry Yung with his silent son in La MaMa’s Downtown Variety #1

At home, Lin-Manuel Miranda singing from Hamilton live for The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

The Rosie O’Donnell Show was meant to be a one-time affair. So was 24 Hour Plays’ “Viral Monologues” — 20 scripted monologues by established playwrights for well-known performers. Similar “home cooking” hybrid theater shows have sprouted up in the last few days aiming to be regular series — including the twice daily Stars in the House, with hosts with hosts Seth Rudetsky and James Wesley, and the daily National Yiddish Theater’s Folksbiene Live, as well as La Mama’s weekly Downtown Variety — the first of which I reviewed, Downtown Variety #1,

There are also plays that had been slated for the stage that are experimenting with online runs, some free, some charging admission. Launching today (March 23) are Ren Dara Santiago’s “The Siblings Play” at Rattlestick Playwright Theater in New York, and Lauren Gunderson’s “I and You” from the Hampstead Theater in the UK. There will be more such online runs, given Actors’ Equity’s new, temporary contracts that allow select producers to record and then release performances online to ticket buyers. (The agreements do not apply to Broadway, which already include rules for “media capture.”)

For details on these and other online theater, including a roundup of theater-oriented online streaming services and Broadway fare on Amazon Prime and Netflix, check out my post: Where To Get Your Theater Fix Online, Old Favorites and New Experiments (Plus Lin-Manuel Miranda & Joshua Henry) #DontScreamLiveStream

Time Out for Humor, Uplift, and Advice

youtube

THINGS YOU CAN DO IN QUARANTINE:

– Late nights – Quick bites – Party games – Deep talks – Long walks – Telephone calls – Thoughts shared – Souls bared – Private names – All those photos up on the walls

— Jorge Molina (@colormejorge) March 16, 2020

Advice for surviving isolation from @NatanSharansky, in solitary confinement in a Soviet prison for 9 yrs: 1 Remind yourself “This is a kind of war in which each of us is a soldier” 2 Don’t depend on outside events. “Create your own world” e.g. learn a language 3 Laugh and sing

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) March 22, 2020

Artist and Theater Support

The Broadway League and the 14 Broadway unions hammered out an “emergency relief” agreement that, for a few weeks anyway, will support the Broadway cast and crew now without employment, and continue their health insurance.

Financial Fallout of the Coronavirus New York’s performing-arts scene has taken hits before—after 9/11, during the recession that began in 2007, after Hurricane Sandy—but its elimination for an indefinite period of time is unprecedented….“All theatre people, except the ones who have institutional jobs—we’re gig people,” Daniel Goldstein, co-writer of “Unknown Soldier” whose day job, as an associate director on the Broadway show “Come From Away” is also now gone, said. “We’re no different than a handyman. When the theatres closed we were literally all unemployed. Everyone I know is unemployed.”

A little tiny bit of good news? https://t.co/BIBim1GQ4Z

— Helen Shaw (@Helen_E_Shaw) March 20, 2020

“The New York Community Trust has announced that it’s administering the NYC COVID-19 Response and Impact Fund, a massive system of grants and interest-free loans from what we hope is a bottomless bucket of money. A consortium of more than a dozen funders — including the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation, Bloomberg Philanthropies, the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, the Ford Foundation, and the Rockefeller Brothers Fund — have pooled around $75 million in funds to relieve social services, arts, and cultural institutions.”

From the COVID-19 Fund’s page:

“Your organization is eligible to apply for a loan if you:

Are a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization Are based in New York City Have annual non-governmental revenue of $20 million or less Receive New York City or New York State government funding Have a track record of delivering effective programs and services equitably for New York resident”

Entertainment industry workers who are facing financial hardships due to coronavirus shutdowns may be able to get some help from a new $100 million fund set up by @netflix. https://t.co/QzQhADLqxM

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) March 20, 2020

In @Variety, @RepAdamSchiff suggests how Congress can change the way unemployment insurance is calculate, to benefit freelance entertainment workers. https://t.co/8kf0wcLQnz pic.twitter.com/f74OzOoROC

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) March 20, 2020

https://t.co/lIWm9YNYSi pic.twitter.com/YG0gRq2Bt5

— Patti LuPone (@PattiLuPone) March 18, 2020

The Coalition of Broadway Unions and Guilds (#COBUG) — which includes 13 unions, including @ActorsEquity, @SDCWeb, @Local_802_AFM. @IATSE (including 6 locals) — “calls on New York City and State to provide emergency assistance to arts workers impacted by #COVID19 “

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) March 18, 2020

5 Ways to Help Theatres and Artists During the COVID-19 Crisis

“The role that nearly 100,000 arts workers play [in NYC] cannot be overstated.”

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) March 18, 2020

Grim Coronavirus News

New York has now become the epicenter of the coronavirus in the United States, as the Atlantic Magazine coronavirus tracker makes clear. New York State has about half of all the cases in the U.S., and the vast majority of the cases in the state are centers in the New York City region.

Coronavirus in N.Y.C.: Region Is Now an Epicenter of the Pandemic “Three weeks after its first coronavirus infection was discovered, the New York City region reached an alarming milestone on Sunday: It now accounts for roughly 5 percent of the world’s confirmed cases, making it an epicenter of the pandemic and increasing pressure on officials to take more drastic measures….As of 8 p.m. on Sunday, all nonessential businesses were ordered closed… Residents were told to stay inside except for necessities like food, medicine and short bouts of exercise.”

This is the best and clearest explanation of why people need to stay at home you could ever wish to see pic.twitter.com/49MgadlctI

— Alan White (@aljwhite) March 22, 2020

When Will Broadway Reopen?

Given the exponential spread of the coronavirus, and the ever-more drastic measures promised to try to curb it, the initial goal of reopening Broadway on April 12th is looking increasingly unrealistic.

Broadway isn’t coming back until the summer — at best — producers speculate to Michael Riedel, & @TheTonyAwards not until Fall. But Broadway WILL come back. https://t.co/bBpKAD7j2J pic.twitter.com/y2meUhNxjV

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) March 20, 2020

Cancellations

Since the shut-down of Broadway on March 12th and of all New York City theaters on March 15th, there has been such a steady stream of news reports, e-mails and Tweets announcing cancellations, that it’s easier to point to what is actually staying open or still scheduled – nothing, really, except what’s happening online.

But several cancellations in particular sting.

Show Score, the critic aggregation site that had already cut back, is shutting down — they hope temporarily.

Laurie Metcalf of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf

Mark Addy of “Hangmen,” which will not open on Broadway

On the day of the news of the “emergency relief” agreement guaranteeing payment for those working on scheduled Broadway shows, both “Hangmen” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf,” shows that had been scheduled to open this season, announced that they would not return when Broadway resumes.

—

Announcing our very happy news 🙂 pic.twitter.com/bLP8t96X4V

— Ruthie Ann Miles (@RuthieAnnMiles) March 21, 2020

Rest in Peace

Gerald Freedman, 92, renowned director, artistic director, and educator whose students included Robin Williams and Mandy Patinkin, was a 21-time Broadway veteran, beginning as a directorial assistant to Jerome Robbins on the original Broadway production of “West Side Story.” Among the dozens of shows he directed Off Broadway was the original production of the musical “Hair” at the Public Theater. He went on to become for 21 years the dean of the School of Drama at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, which named its theater after him.

Gayle Austin, KathleenChalfant, and Julia Miles at the founding of WP Theater

Julia Miles, 90, founded the Women’s Project Theater in 1978, to address the conspicuous underrepresentation of women artists working in the American theater. She also founded the League of Professional Theatre Women.

Remembering our founder, Julia Miles

Sondheim in the Bathroom at Rosie’s Party! Support for Artists. When Will Broadway Reopen? #Stageworthy News of the Week On his 90th birthday, Stephen Sondheim sang Happy Birthday to Andrew Lloyd Webber...while washing his hands for 20 seconds in his bathroom sink --

#Artist and Theater Support #Cancellations #Emerging Pandemic Aesthetic #Florence Henderson RIP #RIP Gerald Freedman #The Rosie O&039;Donnell Show

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