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purpleyellow · 3 years

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It’s not enough

NCT 24th member / Dream 8th member

Bee’s Masterlist

“The remarkable world of Mark Lee’s mind” or, Mark rethinkgs his entire history with Bee.

a/n: I finished it!! Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open!💛 this gif is peak devastation

All Mark could think when Bee first joined the group was “Thank God for Lee Jeno”.

Noticing that while she didn’t know how to express herself in front of them, Jeno was the first to give her a sense of comfort. Mark, after getting nervous for not knowing how to be helpful, told himself that eventually, Bee would get close to him too. He had a year, after all, to become friends and grow a bond with her.

Except that a year doesn’t last that long and little girls don’t come with instructions.

He knows she cried on his last showcase with Dream. But Mark has a feeling she only did so because of the occasion. She was seeing the seven best friends she witnessed together being separated, and that’s a heartbreaking sight when you know how close they are together.

Two years later, Mark realizes that was his big mistake. It wasn’t on purpose but along the way, he isolated the girl from their original friend group, and maybe it’s what caused some sort of distance in between them.

The year following his departure was an eventful one, and the boy grew a lot, experienced a lot, and learned a lot. The best part of everything being that whenever he met with their little friend group, his spot was intact and everything was the same. Except for Bee. Mark would see how she had inevitably built her own place within the dreamies, and it had him feeling weirdly left out even though they were perfectly coexisting.

They went on being coworkers and labeling each other as friends despite the weird lack of bond, until, of course, the whole “crush” fiasco went down. Mark saw himself and the girl going from, no correlation besides being in the same friend group, to suddenly facing a crisis that revolved around her feelings and his lack of knowledge about how she works.

The image he had of her, was built on a shallow level based on how others perceived her. That’s his second mistake. Jeno, and some of his Hyungs, were almost protective over Bee. Renjun and Jaemin treated her like their personal teddy bear. Haechan, Chenle, and to some extent Jisung were not worth going over in his head, because he thought that if he joked around as they did, she would probably get offended.

So there Mark was, trying to work around, this seemingly fragile character, while finding out that she saw him as a friend more than he did to her. And that maybe all the stress he had gone through to make sure she was being “protected” was worthless and seemingly ignored. He was a bit selfish for wanting to do the right thing simply for others to notice him, but that’s how he knew things. That's how he had to build a career for himself, he needed to get recognition from others to do the things he had done. And maybe connecting everything to work was another mistake.

“What’cha thinking about?” Chenle throws his coat on top of Mark’s head after realizing the practice room wasn’t empty. Though the boy was so deep in thought he didn’t realize the idol had arrived until he announced himself.

“Just life” Mark groans while laying back on the ground, his phone left on the floor next to him. The younger boy walked to the side, taking a glance at the screen before smirking.

“And by life, do you mean someone special?” He teases and Mark's hands fly to the device, the notes app open on the words he had mindlessly typed. He knew Chenle didn’t have time to actually read everything, but the title gave away enough. “The little ballerina”

“I’m trying to see things through a different lens” The Canadian spoke looking sideways at him. Gesturing he continued “Yesterday, I tried talking to her back at the van, but to be honest I had no idea what to say. Apparently, there's no good way to approach it, but I kind of feel like there might be”

“Markie, Markie. Don’t overthink anything. What do we do when we have a schedule that we’re not particularly good at?” Chenle placed a hand behind his ear and waited for the boy to say.

“We go ahead and just do it”

“So do just that” The boy snapped, “Between you and me, Yun-hee doesn't know what she wants. At one point she's all certain about 'moving on' or whatever, yet then when you ask her for any details of what she's feeling, she completely ignores you”.

“You asked her about it?” Mark's head snaps up frowning and the boy nods. “What did she say? Does-”

“Did you not listen to what I just say? She brushed me off” Chenle rolls his eyes “But I think she still likes you if that's worth something. Maybe not the way she did back when Haechan dropped the bomb”.

“What do you mean? Like a friend?” He questions confused, decreasing the younger's patience.

“No, Mark. The same way you like her now”.

“Chenle, I already told her, and all of you, that I don't feel like that towards Bee” Mark’s tone gets more serious and the younger groans annoyed.

“You two are so slow, we literally have to put words in your mouth to get things going” Chenle speaks quicker trying to get his point across. “It's really obvious you care about Bee more than you did at the beginning of last year. And okay, let's say you don't have a little thing for her or whatever, but you do want to have some sort of relationship with her, don't you?”

“Yeah, being friends for once would be nice” Mark nods, sarcastically, and gets up from the floor. “I really just want this all to end”

Mark left the room shortly after and being honest with himself, he felt a little light-headed with everything Chenle just told him. Putting most things aside to revisit once he had a clearer mind, the boy decided to put into use the one good advice he could find in the middle of everything. When you have a particularly hard task, you just have to go ahead and do it.

So with that, his plan was built. And by plan, he means to have no prepared speech, and no questions to ask, instead figure out everything after he finally finds a way of talking to her, which has been harder than anticipated.

A couple of days later, while he went down to the sm cafe before it was time to be at the studio, Mark quite literally froze in place at the sight of a certain Stray Kids member standing near a wall.

Waving shyly at him and Renjun, Seungmin waited awkwardly to see if they would come near him.

"Bee shouldn't take much longer" Renjun caught Mark by surprise, as he approached the boy calmly "Her recording session is almost done, but we can show you the studio if you want to wait for her there"

"No, it's fine" Seungmin smiled, though a little intimidated by Mark's frown. "I'll just sit wherever if it takes too long"

"I'm sorry, you two are going out?" The laugh followed by Mark's question was a little nervous, considering he had only seen the boy a few times yet here he was waiting for Bee to be done so they could do... something?

"No, no. Bee's going to meet Moon, I'm just the intermediate" Seungmin tries to joke but Renjun is the only one laughing. Clearing his throat, he explains further "My group was nearby and we're meeting Ateez for dinner so Moon asked if I could come to pick her up"

"Yun-hee is staying over at her dorm" Renjun adds, glaring sideways at the Canadian. "A sleepover or whatever you want to call it" The three fall silent after he's done talking and Mark runs over an explanation as to why he's feeling so frustrated over this conversation.

He and Bee hadn’t properly spoken since the award show shooting. And while forced interactions were the bare minimum, the boy felt as if the distance they kept had triplicated its length. It made him feel odd to see her act normally with everyone, including a boy she hadn’t spoken to for a year. So why couldn’t they be normal as well?

"Well, I'm going ahead and get a coffee. She should be coming anytime, though being late is kind of expected at this point" The comment from Renjun makes Seungmin chuckle and both boys nod to each other. Turning to Mark, he frowns at his wondering expression "You coming?"

"I'm heading up actually, it's my turn on studio 3" He shakes his head and waves at them. The elevator doesn't seem to take much longer to arrive, which Mark thinks might be some weird doing of fate, considering as soon as he makes it to his floor, Bee is walking along the hallway. Or was, because she changes her path the moment she spots him

Acting purely on instinct might not be the smartest thing to do, the boy thinks to himself while chasing her through the building without any idea of what he wants to say once "catching" her. Maybe Kun hiding Bee in his studio and obviously lying to him was a good thing, or at least it gave him another day to think about where he wants to stand with her.

Ironically, a couple of days after, he's in fact standing in front of a door while thinking if he should or not enter and hopefully settle everything. Mark opens the door slowly, analyzing the small room with two chairs in which she's sitting on one.

“Can we talk now?” He waits for her positive to walk inside and Bee does so by simply nodding. Her eyes looked a little tired and uninterested, but the small tremor on her hands told him how present she really was. And just like the first time they met, her nervousness contaminated him, and they just sat inside the small room without looking at each other in silence.

"I, um, have been thinking about everything since that game night" Mark clears his throat and starts speaking towards the floor "And, not that you owe me anything, but I'd just like to know what happened"

Frowning, Bee quickly glances at him "What do you mean, what happened?"

"When did you start, kind of seeing me in that way. And how did it stop, I guess. It just feels like a lot happened that I'm not aware of, and it's making me look back and reconsider some stuff, I'll explain that later, just let me know what I missed"

Bee thought of how she would put things into words and twirled the ring on her finger, taking a deep breath she tried to make herself comfortable on the chair

"It started around when you came back from the SuperM tour. Or maybe before that, I'm not sure” She sighs and picks at her nails “It seemed like that boy I met was gone after you graduated, and you became this even cooler rapper, you became more confident in yourself, literally embodied SM's favorite child. I sort of became stunned, this feels really weird to say, but I couldn't really recognize you"

Mark slowly looks at Bee while she's talking and carefully listens, he feels a little more comfortable not to look away once she raises her head again. Once she stops, he nods turning his chair a little so they're more face to face.

"You feel out of it after you find out I'm still the awkward boy from before" His jokes make her shrug as opposed to the giggle he expected to hear.

"That happened, but also, you did turn me down" Bee bites her lip regretting the word choice "Not that I'm mad, or really hoped for anything, I simply didn't want to push anything or make things too weird. That's why going back to normal was such a huge thing, but it's been a really long time since then and we still don't know how to do that, I guess"

"Maybe it's because we didn't exactly have a normal, at least not the one we're trying to do right now" Mark catches her attention and she gestures for him to keep going "Thinking back to when we first met, we never got close just the two of us. The others were always around, and even then, I can't recall us sticking together or anything. That might be why you thought I was different"

"It makes sense" The girl mumbles tilting her head and frowning. If he was true, that would mean her crush had been based on this picture of him she drew on her head. And while part of it certainly was, Bee also knows that a little percentage came from his actual responsible yet boyish and kind personality she still appreciates to this day.

"I guess it does" Mark nods reading her face "We should probably find a way to work around that. Just get closer in general, I guess. Find out what our dynamic is like without blending in with the rest of the boys and ignoring each other" He speaks hopefully, but Bee fears it might not work again.

"But, what if this is it for us. We didn't naturally become friends, so maybe accountancies it's what we should stick with" She doesn't know if she meant it, or was scared of this whole 'finding out' deal and its consequences. From what she knew, Bee could easily slip back into her feelings for him and end up breaking her face again.

Yet Mark wasn't having it. He'd spent way too much time, especially lately, noticing how she was comfortable with the others, and the nice chemistry they had. He felt left out, not as in ignored, but Bee was sweet, and a little quirky which also made her funny, but still very caring, and he never denied she was pretty. He wanted to know what it’s like to be her friend like the others are. Though this moment might be the first time he questions if a friendship will be enough for him.

"Let's put an effort this time" He shakes his head dismissing her comment "We can stick around in the practice room a little longer now that our schedules mostly match. And you know, hang out together more, no running away or ignoring each other"

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Bee bounces up her leg and thinks a little bit.

"For what it's worth, we can try. We spent a good time in here and it didn't get awkward, so there’s hope" Mark giggles and she follows him "It'll make the teamwork better if you need a greater good to support your decisions"

"Okay" Bee nods making him shyly hold out a fistbump to her. Making up a quick and weird handshake, they laugh together lighting up the mood a little.

"Just a little request" The girl stops Mark as he's getting up "Let's not rush things, you know. Make it more natural than acting like we're forcefully acting as friends"

"Yeah, sure" Mark pats her head opening the door. And to everyone, especially the dreamies’, happiness, they're a little less awkward around each other.

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neocatharsis · 3 years

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NCT’s Mark Lee on Dreams, Instagram Poetry, and Growing Up

Mark has a lot going on — but he’s making time for poetry, introspection, and, of course, the members of NCT Dream. - Vivien Wu

“I’ve been thinking about dreams a lot these days!” Mark Lee exclaims over Zoom from SM Entertainment’s Seoul headquarters.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

NCT Dream’s original teenage concept meant that members were supposed to “graduate” when they came of age, and as the oldest, Mark was the first to leave the group at the end of 2018. Having grown attached, however, fans were devastated at his departure; after a year of separation, SM announced that the graduation system would be scrapped and that he would rejoin the group. Their new album, Hot Sauce, is the first with Mark in over two years. As fellow member Haechan declared in an interview with Teen Vogue earlier this week, “Mark [is] very special. NCT Dream means Mark.”

But before the rapper led NCT Dream, and before he joined NCT U and NCT 127 and SuperM — the man is in high demand — Mark’s childhood dream was writing. He grew up in Toronto, and through doing school projects and essays quickly discovered that he had a natural way with words. Inspired by Percy Jackson author Rick Riordan, Harry Potter, and James Patterson, Mark dreamt of becoming an author, long before he was recruited by SM at a global audition in Canada in 2012. “When I was in school, I was always the kind of guy who would write more than expected, and that became a thing that clicked for me,” he says. “I was like, ‘Maybe it’s something that I naturally do?’ But then that kind of turned into rap writing too, so I guess they kind of clicked together.” It explains his prolific career as a lyricist; since debuting, he’s amassed over 30 songwriting credits across his various groups, contributing to songs as iconic as NCT U’s “Boss,” NCT 127’s “Cherry Bomb,” and NCT Dream’s “Chewing Gum.”

Even with such an extensive body of work, however, penning lyrics hasn’t satiated his appetite for literary expression. In an interview with Japanese magazine Men’s Non-No, he revealed that he still hopes one day to write a book, whether that be a novel, autobiography, or something more philosophical.

In the meantime, he’s taken to writing what are basically short poems on his Instagram, which he created just a few months ago. He’s gathered over 4.5 million followers since then, but having such a large audience hasn’t deterred him from being endearingly vulnerable with the way he writes. When I refer to them as poems, he laughs and looks embarrassed, but when I ask him to tell me the stories behind them, he’s enthusiastic again. They’re short, but offer brief glimpses into Mark the writer — sharp, inquisitive, and thoughtful. As pieces of literature, they’re a little rough around the edges, but the sincerity he’s known for shines through, illuminating the introspective, philosophical side that may not be so obvious in person.

His first poem, loosely titled “Late Night Scribbling,” put into words his musings about sleep, thoughts, feelings, and writing. It meanders from topic to topic, hovering between feelings of hope and hopelessness, before ending with a comically awkward “haha.”

“I actually wrote that by imagining how I wanted to organize my Instagram page,” he explains. “I was thinking of creating an Instagram, then I realized that, well, I’m not really a picture kind of guy, I’m not really a travelling kind of guy… I kind of studied who I am first, and I [asked myself], ‘What’s something that I can really portray in an intimate way?’ and it turned out to be writing.”

“I started to brainstorm what kind of topics I could write about, and then from there on, I started to write a little each and every night, and that turned into Late Night Scribbling,” he continues. “That kind of gave me courage to start Instagram in the first place, that piece of writing.”

Two weeks later, he followed it up with “Black Socks,” a whimsical ode to, well, black socks — complete with accompanying photos of him wearing said socks. Immediately, it feels more confident and cohesive than its predecessor. Using the neat and tidy look of black socks as a metaphor, he describes his own mindset for living life: “Pleasure from perfect alignment; That also goes for my ability to be parallel with my thoughts and actions; I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep it consistent even when forgotten like a working habit.”

Comments on the posts praise his writing and encourage him to continue sharing these small pieces of himself. On the stage, Mark takes on a confident, larger-than-life persona, while in vlogs and spoken interviews, he’s a bubbly character full of laughter and boyish charm. What the poems show is that, beneath these outer appearances, there’s another layer of complexity that is yet to be fully explored, and it’s not surprising that fans want to know more.

His day job as a K-pop idol doesn’t allow a lot of time for hobbies, though, and he confesses to not having written much lately. Despite that, he’s determined to stay in the industry for as long as possible. “Longevity is something that I’ve always been aiming for,” he says. “I’m willing to do this for a long time, and that requires a lot of work. I’m willing to take that as a challenge and I’m trying to stay as long as I can, but with quality.”

That focus on quality informs his preparations for the upcoming promotions with NCT Dream. In both their fictional world and ours, NCT Dream are a central component of NCT by virtue of their unique focus on growth — the seven members were aged between 14 and 17 when the group first debuted in 2016. Fast-forward five years, and the members are now 19 to 21, having reached a milestone in January when the youngest, Jisung, finally became a legal adult in Korea. When asked if he feels like an adult yet, though, Mark gives an extremely relatable answer with zero hesitation.

“I still feel like I’m in middle school, I’m gonna be totally honest. I swear to God, I feel like I’m… All right, I’ll put it up — I feel like I’m in high school!” He laughs. “I even had this talk with Jisung, ‘cos he’s the latest that turned into an adult. He said that he still feels like he’s a student, he doesn’t feel like he’s 20 [19 in international age] right now.”

It’s been a long time since all seven Dream members — Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung — have released an album together, and as the first full-length album since their debut, the fan anticipation is palpably intense. Mark himself has mentioned in various vlogs how important he believes this comeback to be, and that conviction becomes obvious whenever he talks about it.

“We had a talk all together, the seven of us, without any cameras or anything. I brought all the guys together and we talked before the whole momentum started, and I said that I’m willing to put my everything on this one. Like, I always had, but I feel like… the whole universe, or like— ” He pauses, trying to figure out how to articulate himself, and his next line is the most emphatic of our whole conversation. “There are things that are out of our control, but we can see and feel when the pieces match together sometimes, and I feel like this specific moment, this particular album, kind of had those essential parts.”

He’s thinking about all of the context surrounding this comeback: the group’s coming of age, the reunion of all seven members, the scale of the album, the fact that Jisung has only just recovered from a leg injury that meant he couldn’t dance for months — even the fact that 2020 was, against all odds, the best year yet for NCT, with release after release bringing them unprecedented success and momentum.

“I felt that coming and I explained all of that [to the group],” he continues. “This whole period of time has a lot of meaning to it, and we’re not taking that for granted, we’re working hard.” With everything that’s happened, Hot Sauce is a historic moment for NCT Dream, and that’s been reflected in their numbers — the album clocked over 1.7 million pre-orders, obliterating their previous record of 500,000 for last year’s EP, Reload.

Their familial bond and the success that has come with it is the culmination of years spent living, working, and growing up together. The members have collectively missed out on key experiences that most teenagers might take for granted, distanced as they are from normal life, and the group also benefits from an unusually loose adherence to traditional Korean age hierarchy. The result is a brotherhood that goes beyond just being colleagues. “What we have is pretty intimate, and it’s also genuine,” Mark says.

About his role, he is matter of fact. “I’m by far the most easily approachable punching bag for the team. I am not… complaining…” He laughs. “But all jokes aside, I feel like my role for this team… Yes, I am the oldest and I am the leader but I’m also… In Korea, in the culture, age is very important, but we’ve come so far that all those borders kind of just vanished and we’re all pretty much friends, and I guess I’m just a friend of theirs too.”

It’s true that, despite being the leader, his friendly personality and endearingly awkward mannerisms mean that he commands about as much authority as a small puppy. Instead, much like a puppy, he is showered with love and affection (fellow member Chenle refers to Mark as his son and his actual puppy Daegal as Mark’s little sister), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a dependable leader figure. The opposite is true — in Renjun’s words, Mark’s presence unites the group in a way that makes him irreplaceable.

And while this may be the fifth year since their debut, in the grand scheme of things, the members of NCT Dream are still very, very young — by most standards, they would still be considered to have their entire careers ahead of them. Growth has brought them here, but where does Mark think it will take them in the future?

“Growing just never stops for us, I can see us growing continuously, endlessly,” he replies. “What the future holds is something that we will never know, but we always do try to prepare during the present, and so with whatever time we have currently and with whatever album, or whatever stage, or whatever piece of music it may be, we’re willing to make sure that we have the next one coming too.”

A final thought. “I’m glad that we’re striving for that, ‘cos we started off as…” Mark shakes his head, “…as babies.”

#nct #nct dream #Mark #nct 127

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najaemism · 2 years

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hera and hyuck rlly said i see nobody else but you🥲🥲 it rlly is their world and we're all just living in it😭😭 MAN i felt so single throughout hera's entire monologue i'm devastated😭😭

ALSO JAEMIN🥲🥲🥲 MY BABY🥲🥲 he deserves better aaaaa my heart rlly broke for him😭😭 like "it wasn't even a game, but even if it was, he had lost the moment hera had met haechan" and "to see her look at someone the same way that he looked at her" IM AHDKDKDKDKD MY HEART SHATTERED AND I HAD WAR FLASHBACKS, UNREQUITED LOVE RLLY IS A BITCH

but i'm glad he finally decided to let her go and start moving on. i also love how he said he WILL be okay when nari asked him if he was okay, i think that kind of mentality is needed when you're moving on bc its gon be tough but as long as you know you're eventually gonna be okay, you're good already!!

AND AAAAAAA HIM AND NARII NGL I THINK THEYRE MY FAV COUPLE OUT OF THE THREE IDK WHY but man nari rlly was looking at jaemin who was looking at hera who was looking at hyuck🫤🫤 what kind of love square😮‍💨😮‍💨 IM SORRY THIS ASK IS SO LONG BUT THIS CHAPTER MADE ME FEEL A LOT OF THINGS😮‍💨😮‍💨 RONI YOUR WRITING HAS ME ON A CHOKEHOLD

again, just like miss rory gilmore said:

AND YEAH UNREQUITED LOVE IS A BITCH it really hurts to see the person youve loved for the longest time fall in love w/ someone else lmAOOOO 😭😭✋🏼✋🏼

ngl i think narijaem is gonna be really fUN HSHSHAHHAHA AND PLS NOT THE LOVE SQUARE 😭😭😭 I DONT MIND THE LONG ASKS BESTIE I REALLY LOVE READING THEM!!!!<333 THANK YOUUUU 😭🤟🏼

#studywoo #asks #smau: hcl

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plumblossomkun · 5 years

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word count: 3472

pairing: jaemin x female reader

warnings: 18+ setting, a lil angst

summary: in which Na Jaemin is the first man you’ve let dance with you in months, and his smile is like starlight and bubbling champagne

a/n: thanks for waiting! it’s finally out! for those of you who hate on fics about the dreamies: the more intense scenes are sexy but not actual sex. also they’re legal so you can scroll right by if you’re uncomfortable w adults acting like adults. also i’m still working on the kun fic!!! take this in its place for now!!!

click here for the playlist | chapter 2 coming soon

10:00 pm move - taemin your moves captivate me under the dark lights

“Jaemin, what are you looking at?” Jeno yawns, dragging his fingers through his hair. With his chiseled jaw and bright blue lenses, he seems cold and dangerous. Then he grins, and somehow becomes more boy than man, cheeks rounding as he beams, the motion curving even his eyes into half-moons. He laughs at himself. “I look good.”

“Like always,” the other man chuckles. He grins as he fixes his long-lashed gaze on whatever has captured his attention. Compared to Jeno, he is slighter, jaw less squared, legs and arms lankier, but even slouched in his chair he shines, from the slopes of his soft cheeks to the argent rings on his slender fingers.

Jeno follows his gaze up to the second floor, to the girl who leans against the bar and laughs with the bartender. Against the dark polish of the wood, and under the faint gold lighting reflecting off the glass tiled walls, her hair falls dark brown and straight to her waist, but she does not turn their way to reveal her face. He almost regrets not having looked earlier, because even as she laughs with the bartender, holding a glass of water to her neck, she is graceful in a way that the girls around them are not.

He leans toward his friend. “Pretty girls don’t always have substance.”

Jaemin laughs, squeezing his shoulder. Even when his expression settles, his lips retain a half-smile. “Maybe not.”

10:58pm chantaje - shakira feat. maluma and like a madman, i follow, behind you, dying for you

Countless girls boast rose-red lips and fluttering lashes. They bare their fangs like vipers, their intentions clear in the way they gyrate, asking for dances that neither of them want. At least, not to the slow, achy tune that the DJ is playing, low beat thrumming in the dim light, bodies riding against bodies in a way that has nothing to do with the rhythm of the music.

“Come play,” the girls croon, with their clawed hands and dangerously tall heels. “Drinks are on us. Come have fun.”

But the two refuse. They sit at a table by the stage, Jaemin flipping through his phone and Jeno watching the girls go by with faint disinterest.

Suddenly, he perks. “Jae.”

“Mm?”

“돌다리도 두들겨 보고 건너라 (look before you leap).”

Jaemin looks up then. The girl who’d leaned against the bar nearly half an hour before strides towards the stage-- and therefore them-- looking like she wants to dive into the music. A faint peach-pink glow suffuses his cheeks. “I’ll try.”

10:59 snapping - chungha baby i feel you, the perfume haze spreads

With a final sigh of disgust, the bartender dumps an entire pitcher of water on the too-drunk man in front of him as the patron tries to grab the bottle of rum in his hand. “Don’t touch my alcohol.”

You spit out the remainder of your third glass of water, cackling. “Oh my god, Haechan.”

He motions for you to give him your radio, and when you hand it over, clicks it on to say, “Yo, can I get someone up here to escort a patron out?”

Then he snatches up what is left of the man’s last shot and sweeps the counter clean with a towel. The scowl that curls his lips is entirely uncharacteristic for someone whose name means ‘full sun’. “You touch my shit, you get out. Club policy.”

A guard (one of three) appears at the top of the stairs to take the inebriate under his arm. Yukhei is too nice-looking for a bouncer, not intimidating at all, but all the regulars love him, and that goofy smile of his works wonders. “Come on, buddy. I got ya. I’ll call you a car-- oh, your girlfriend’s downstairs? Dancing? Without you? Let me get the DJ to call her out so she can get you home.”

As you cringe for the poor man, an arm slips around your shoulder, and the smell of lavender surrounds you. “Hi, sweetheart,” your boss coos. As he cozies up to you, you look him up and down, brows raised at how he’s dressed. The black suit compliments his foxy blood-red hair, but without a shirt and tie, he actually looks the part of a sleazy club owner.

He adjusts the bobby pins keeping the right side of his hair back, looking unsure. “Too much?”

“No, just different,” you say, tucking a stray hair behind his ear. He flinches at the gesture, pale cheeks tinged pink. Despite his intimidating looks, Lee Taeyong is the softest man you know, and you absolutely adore him for it. “You look good, Yongie.”

Taeyong beams at the compliment, the color on his face blooming into a full blown blush. “You think so?”

“Yeah, hyung. You look sexy,” the other server, Mark, chimes in, tossing his apron over the counter.

Haechan throws it right back at him. “You never say that to me!”

You roll your eyes as they begin to squabble, like always. “Oppa, I’m going to take my 20 now.”

Taeyong is busy engaging with one of the regulars. “Okay, sweetheart. Have fun out there.” He doesn’t look to see where you’re going; he already knows where you’ll be if he needs to find you.

You run a hand through your hair as you go down the stairs, combing the kinks out as you move past dozens and dozens of girls. In their thick makeup and skin-tight dresses, they writhe to the heavy bass like eels, and you’re glad that even when they stand from their seats their drinks stay in their hands.

The stench of hundreds of perfumes passes through the air, heavy with heat, and the flashing, shifting lights turn the faces around you into Picasso paintings in motion.

You revel in it, breathe in the stuffy air like you’re starved for it. Taeyong always says he likes it like that, maintains that a sweaty club-goer is the one that hands over the most money for drinks, only turns the AC on to air out the club at the end of the night. You only love it when you’re about to be part of it.

“Hey, baby, let me buy a drink when your shift ends,” someone hollers, a round of drunken cheers following. “You need one, don’t you?” When you glance at the group of men sitting by the bottom of the stairs, they are all red-cheeked, and their heads wobble on their necks as they wave at you.

“No thanks,” you say dryly. They reek of alcohol and grease. Christ. “I don’t drink.”

“That’s okay, sweetie, we’ll be here when you want to,” one of the other men at the table leers, raising his beer in the air. “All~ night long.”

“I’ll let you know if I ever need a drink,” you lie, and continue on your way, shuddering at the very thought of it. If you ever drank, it wouldn’t be with them.

Regardless, you have your eyes set on what you want already.

He sits in shadow just below the stage, though the shadows are not enough to hide him, not when he looks like a sin waiting to happen. You’ve never seen him before-- you’re sure you would have noticed him if he’d been at the club before.

A strip of bare skin peeks out between the laces of his white tunic, running from his collarbones to just above his navel; the maroon blazer against his pale skin makes him look like he’s made of moonlight. When you draw closer, you can see dark red glitter sparkle on his long lashes, and a thin layer of gloss on his petal pink lips; behind the strands of almost-black hair falling across his face, his shining eyes are lined with umber.

Dangerous, you muse. You’re sure that anything would look good on him.

He sees you coming, basically jumps to his feet and meets you halfway. His lips curve into a smile, one that bares the upper row of his teeth and shows off the length of his lashes against his cheeks, a smile that is soft and bright like starlight.

Before you can speak, he offers you his hand. “Would you like to dance?

Against your better judgement, you take it. “You’ll be the first person I say yes to tonight, then.”

It’s not like I’ll dance with another cute boy tonight, anyway.

“I’m honored,” he chuckles. And he pulls you into the crowd, and, subsequently, into his arms.

11:02 ko ko bop - exo can’t explain this feeling, i’m drawn by your ways

Her hands are soft, and small, and almost cold when they ghost over his, but the way she smiles is everything but that. In fact, now that she’s dancing-- and it’s like it just happens to be with him, he’s almost sure she would look the same way in anyone else’s arms-- she seems to glow, with an undeniable energy that draws in all the eyes of the people around her. It is like she is the only light in the entire club, and everyone else is drowning in shadow.

He watches incredulously as her hands run chastely down from his neck to his chest, then flit down to his sides. And despite their lightness, they feel like fire to him.

His lungs have never failed him like this before.

She grins like she knows just how devastating she is, and cocks her head, inviting him to come closer. Even her perfume is intoxicating, the faint sweetness of strawberries and jasmine lingering wherever she moves.

He laughs, grinning as he leans in. “I’ll dance with you as long as you want me to.”

When she pulls back, she’s blushing— it’s lovely on her, like a dusting of roses on her cheeks— and mouths, okay.

11:05 baby don’t like it - nct 127 when i’m with you, danger seems like a good thing

The hair’s breadth of distance between you is a sweet gesture on his part-- even when you trace the lines of his body, feel his heartbeat just beneath your fingertips, he doesn’t do the same to you-- but something in you really wants to see him let go. The razor-sharp tension in his jaw and the way the veins in his neck flex when he comes too close to you make it clear that he wants to be in that space between too close and just close enough.

“Why don’t you relax?” Your back pressed to his chest, you tip your head back so you’re leaning into him. If you weren’t paying attention, you’d only see the soft smile on his face and the conspiratorial wink. But you are so close to him that you can hear the quiet gasp that escapes him at the contact. You’re too short to really lean on his shoulder, but the feeling of him hovering over you, almost holding you, is strangely comforting. That, and he smells like clean laundry, all warmth and sweetness.

“There are a lot of people watching us,” he says, his voice caressing your ear, deep and rich like melted chocolate. It’s not quite an answer to your question, but the words are also not a boast or a lie-- you can feel the electricity of countless watching eyes, jealousy dripping from them like melting wax that you are the one who has his attention. You can’t help but feel smug, and bite your lip to keep yourself from snickering.

Except, when his hands frame your body, from your shoulders down to your hips, finally running his fingers over your skin, a sharp inhale comes out instead. You almost swear at the way he does it, reverently, so gentle, like you’re glass.

Christ.

11:11 señorita - (g)i-dle just focus on me, do other eyes matter?

His cheek brushes against yours when you turn your head to whisper, “It’s 11:11. Make a wish?”

He snickers. “Who needs a wish when I already have you here?”

That’s a fucking terrible line. You wonder if you should laugh or hit him for it. Meanwhile, he trembles with laughter at his own words.

Somewhere between a minute and an eternity later, he’s spun you back around to face him, one hand on your hip. He doesn’t say anything, but that beautiful, shining smile lingers on his face as the two of you continue to sway to the reggae strum of bass guitar filling the air, every move languid and easy.

11:11 long flight - taeyong it’s enough, but i’m still starving baby

Jaemin is completely and utterly convinced that the girl in his arms fits there a little too well for his own good. He sighs.

A sudden coldness settles in her expression at the noise, and her voice is small and distant when she leans back and asks, “Are you here just for tonight?”

“No.” He tweaks her nose, thinking, winter does not suit her at all. When that fails to shake her out of it, he brushes his thumbs across her cheeks, humming, “Did you know that a smile suits you better?”

She rewards his efforts with a huff of laughter, and a little of the light returns to her face as she swats at him. “Hey!”

He grins down at her. “Are you worried you won’t see me again?”

The last thing he expects in response to that is for her to blush and nod the tiniest of nods.

He sucks in a breath at the feeling that washes over him like a too-hot summer breeze, one that is completely alien to him. Flirting is as natural to him as breathing or licking his lips-- so he doesn’t quite know what to do with the crimson blooming on his cheeks.

He covers his face with his hand. So this is what it’s like to be on the other side.

11:12 all i wanna do - jay park feat. hoody and loco whatever you want, my answer is me too

The stranger is silent for a brief spell. When he speaks again, he sounds as if he’d rather not say the words. “As much as I would love to dance with you all night, I think Taeyong-hyung wants us on soon.”

“Us?” you echo, looking up at him.

“Yes.” He looks as if he wants to say something more, mouth gaping slightly, but shakes his head, looking over his shoulder to speak to someone you can’t see through the sea of bodies around you. “Jeno, come here.”

Another face appears beside the stranger’s. Together, they look like a pair of angels staring down at you. And they would be, if they weren’t dancing with you, in Taeyong’s club, at this dark hour.

“Hello,” the boy named Jeno says. Unlike his friend, who is like a tree swaying in the warmth of the summer breeze, he is litheness and grace, slender and lean, and looks like he feels the music in every bone in his muscled body. His hard features soften when he smiles shyly at you, and if his friend’s smile is like starlight on a warm summer’s night, his is as lovely as the sun on a spring morning.

“Are you gonna go get ready?” he asks your previous partner as they bump shoulders.

“Yeah.” The stranger catches your eye with a wink, blows you a saucy kiss that makes you laugh. He brushes a thumb over your cheek before he leaves. “See you later.”

And then he’s gone, leaving you bright red.

“I’m sorry he’s like that,” Jeno sighs, guiding you deeper into the waxing tide of bodies. “If it’s any comfort, I am a better dancer than he is.”

You lick your lips, already starved for the music and the movement. You don’t miss how his eyes follow the motion. “Good thing you can show me.”

He laughs. “Of course.”

Jeno wasn’t lying, at all, and for a song or two, you forget that it was his friend’s smile that had pulled you onto the dance floor in the first place instead of his.

Still, your eyes stray, and you wonder if you might dance with his friend again before the night ends.

11:20 stay up - baekhyun let me get drunk on the sweetness that is you

Jaemin adjusts the mic pack on the harness around his waist and lets out another long sigh.

“You’re being dramatic,” Haechan comments, not looking up from his phone. The dressing room is admirably large for such a small establishment, but the shorter man is still in Jaemin’s space and in his chair. “We’re only performing, like, 5 songs."

“You can’t complain,” he replies as he peeks in the vanity to check his makeup and hair. “Taeyong took over the bar so you could perform with us.”

“Only because we’re making him more money than the bar ever could.” Renjun yawns from the couch behind them, stretching. “If Chenle and Jisung weren’t busy, we’d make even more.”

Someone knocks hesitantly on the door, like they’re not sure they should even be knocking. “You guys decent?”

“Mark, just come in,” Renjun and Haechan sigh.

And it is indeed the eldest of them who slips into the room, tugging his tie out of its loop. “Jeno’s coming. [Y/N]” —he levels a knowing glance at Jaemin— “is done with her break, anyway.”

Haechan finally looks up from his phone, frowning. “You should be careful with her.”

“Is she that dangerous?” Jaemin jokes.

He doesn’t voice the fact that, for him, she just might be.

Haechan rolls his eyes. He claps Jaemin on the shoulder as he gets up to retrieve his own headset. “Eh... Mark, you tell him.”

“Tell him what—? Oh.” Mark looks up from the clothing rack, outfit in hand. “Haechan and I have been out there with her too, dude. Don’t mess with her. She doesn’t need another thing to worry about. Plus, Taeyong-hyung will actually kill you if you get too close.”

Jaemin holds up his hands in surrender. “We were just dancing.”

It’s Mark’s turn to give him a sympathetic pat. “If you say so.”

“Just remember I was the one who warned you,” Haechan huffs.

11:25 drippin’ - nct dream it’s too late to run away, you started this game first

When you return to the bar to retrieve your apron, you are surprised to see Taeyong smiling at patrons and serving the alcohol instead of Haechan. Yukhei is there too, keeping a watchful eye over the patrons, knowing all too well that some of them like to try and take advantage of the easily distracted club owner.

“Hey,” the guard greets you, grinning. A table of girls are giggling and waving at him, but he ignores them, giving you a high-five and a quick hug that has them whispering furiously. “Have a good break?”

“Yeah,” you laugh, thinking about the stranger and his friend. “I wasn’t on my own for once.”

Taeyong somehow hears you from across the bar and zooms over, brow creased in concern. “Sweetheart, you didn’t happen to be dancing with one of the boys who are performing tonight, would you?

Startled, you have to take a second to remember. “Uh, yeah? I think he mentioned that… He didn’t give me his name, though.”

“Mark and Haechan know the drill,” he mutters, mostly to himself. He glances at you again. “It’s not Chenle or Jisung, they’re hosting a workshop somewhere… was it Renjun? Jeno? Jaemin?”

“Um… tall? Kind of flirty?”

“It’s Jaemin,” Taeyong says immediately, with a finality that has you wondering exactly what he plans to do with the information and how’d he’d known who you’d been talking about so quickly. “That boy—”

“What about him?” You poke him square in the chest, a little miffed. He means well, you know he does, but it’s not like you can’t handle yourself. “Oppa, I’ve told you, you don’t need to coddle me.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not coddling you. They’re— you know how Mark and Haechan are! Jaemin is even worse—”

“Okay, but I’m not one of them.” You wave at the table of girls sighing over Yukhei. “Have you ever seen me swoon over Mark or Haechan?”

“No, but—”

“We were just dancing, alright?” You tug at him, too tired to really argue. “If he does something, you have my permission to sic Yukhei and Haechan on him.”

Taeyong looks down at your hand on his sleeve and scrunches his nose. Sighing, he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m just looking out for you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, stinky,” you call after him as he goes back to the bar and you tie your apron firmly around your waist.

“Are you sure it was just dancing?” Yukhei teases, mocking Taeyong’s worried tone. He cackles when you elbow him in the gut.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

a/n 2: what y’all think? feedback is appreciated! you can leave it here or just deposit it in my asks (; ♥

#na jaemin #jaemin #jaemin imagines #nct dream imagines #na jaemin imagines #jaemin fic #jaemin x reader #jaemin x female reader #nct fic #nct dream fic #i don't write smut because i am BAD at it okay #fanfiction #jaemin fanfic #dulce et feram

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Chapter 4 - broken hearts club, part one (Days Gone By - NCT)

Days Gone By masterlist | main masterlist

Broken Hearts Club Part One

'Cause misery loves company, so hey, what do you say?

15th June

Renjun had woken up first the morning after. Disorientated, dizzy and drunk on the familiar scent of freshly baked vanilla cookies and general comfort, like a hazy mid-morning daydream. Gradually coming around from his slumber, he began to register his surroundings; streaks of light, streaming sporadically through the cracks in the blinds, dark grey duvet only reaching his hips, his small frame on display, a large hand splayed gently across his back, curling him into a furnace – the source of the cookie smell. The t-shirt he was wearing hanging low and lose off his body - evidently not his - and his head was resting on something (or rather someone ) far too firm to be a pillow. He was not in his own bed and he was not alone.

The scent was familiar, it was one he had become well accustomed to over the years. Belonging to the ever-so-perfect Jaemin. Shit, he was in bed with Jaemin, wearing Jaemin’s clothes and memories of the two making out and grinding on one another... and (oh god) the soulmate mark, flooding his mind. Consecutive images flashing every time he blinked, dread flowing through his veins.

Why did he do that? That was his best friend , nothing more. That was not supposed to happen, Renjun was supposed to hold in his feelings up until graduation next year when he could happily move to the other side of the country, or another country for that matter, and avoid Jaemin until any and all feelings had faded away. Yes, he very much thought that running away was the best (and only) way to cope with his feelings.

Maybe he could fall in love with a nice foreign boy, forgetting about the picture-perfect, ideal type that was his best friend.

Feelings could be dealt with later. Broken hearts can be mended later. After all, misery loves company and it was beginning to feel like misery was all Renjun knew.

2nd of august [continued]

“Oh, come on Mark, just show us!”

The only time Renjun ever acted cute was when he wanted something, putting on a lilted whiny voice, fluttering his eyelashes and pulling out all his aegyo - which frankly just irritated Mark; he’d never understand how it worked on Jaemin, the younger would practically fall on his knees then and there whenever Renjun used it to get whatever it is he wanted. Maybe he’d just become immune to it after having a no longer adorable little brother who once upon a time didn’t need to try to do aegyo, he just was cute and Mark would’ve given him the world if he’d asked.

Jisung once asked if he could have the moon and Mark ended up spending two hours putting a glow in the dark stars and moon sticker set up on Jisung’s ceiling, which are still there.

“Mark! Why are you hiding it, everyone knows about mine and Yuqi’s, about Renjun and Jaemin’s, Johnny and Ten’s, Doyoung and Jaehyun’s, the list goes on. You’re just the next one to have it, it’s no big deal.”

No big deal that you don’t want to tell your best friend because the moment you see his reaction, you’ll know if he’s your soulmate or not. Sure, no big deal.

“Okay! Lucas leave Markie alone. He’s my shy little brother remember; his soulmate mark is interesting to say the least and we’ll leave it at that, shall we?”

“Lucas is right though, what’s the big deal, it can’t be worse than Johnny’s.”

Mark inhaled quickly, firmly and very noticeably. Way to be subtle Mark!

“Oh no, you’re kidding its worse than Johnny’s! That’s brilliant.” Jaehyun turned and took a few steps out of the kitchen back to the living room, confusing the others until they heard a, “HEY! Doyoungie come here!” Doyoung appeared instantly from lord knows where amongst the seemingly endless amount of people gathered in his house, navigating his way through and around groups that Mark barely recognised. They were quite disgustingly domestic, as usual, but it was amplified by the copious amounts of alcohol consumed – most of which by Doyoung. Kisses to cheeks and pecks all over, stood just too close together for it to be publicly appropriate, Jaehyun’s hands never leaving Doyoung’s body and consistently moving to inappropriate places for innocent eyes.

Finding his spot with Jaehyun’s arm around his waist, body curled into Jaehyun’s chest but head turned enough that he was capable of conversation, or rather joining in on the teasing of Mark to get him to show the others his soulmate Mark (which had been hidden by his choice of a flannel shirt this evening, resisting the urge to roll his sleeves up despite the heat.

“What’s going on now? Injunnie are you still trying to get Mark to reveal his soulmate mark, I thought I told you to leave him alone?”

Doyoung was actually sticking up for Mark, but everyone knew he wanted to know just as badly. Everyone was desperate to know the moment Mark spluttered when he was first asked, apparently that was just the sign they needed that it was a good one. Not boring like all the other recent ones had been.

“No babe,” shaking his head and tutting at his boyfriend, “trust me, you’re going to want to stop pretending you don’t want to know – it’s worse than Johnny’s .”

Doyoung’s eyes visibly widened at that, the same reaction as everyone else. Doyoung couldn’t stop laughing, gripping onto Jaehyun’s shirt in order to attempt to balance himself.

“Okay,” barely audible between wheezes as he tried to catch his breath from laughing, “Mark you have to show us, you cannot keep that from us. Seriously, how can it be worse than Johnny’s, no offence Ten.”

Johnny’s mark was notorious in their small town (possibly village if you were feeling technical about population sizes), everyone knew about it. Word spread like wildfire the moment someone outside of their intricate friendship group overheard - the seal had been broken and that was enough. Johnny would never get over how utterly mortifying it was when his mother returned home to tell him all about the delightful conversation she’d had with Mrs Potter down the road about how scandalous this teenagers soulmate mark was, only to be told she didn’t know the name of the boy who had this tasteful (said with quotation marks and dripping with sarcasm) phrase emblazoned on his body only that the soulmate was ‘the one who goes by the number rather than a proper name because his names too long’. His mother was devastated she hasn’t been told and that Johnny never explicitly told her that he was gay - although Johnny argued it was rather obvious and that he didn’t watch magic mike, multiple times, just because he loved romantic films. Johnny couldn’t look his mum in the eye for at least two weeks afterward.

Ten slapped his best friend on the arm for his commentary. Even after almost four years, Ten still hadn’t lived that one down and doubted he ever would – but he still hadn’t made his peace with it, the teasing continued to be relentless whenever the topic of soulmates came up and Ten was quite sick of it, his truculent nature sparking every time.

“Shut up Doyoung, just because yours is cute and all because Jaehyun was four and you did look like a fucking bunny!”

“Correction, he still looks like a bunny, especially when we’re fucking.” Doyoung became visibly flustered at that, Jaehyun never being one to shy away from admiring his boyfriend at indecorous times, “Shut the fuck up Jae. Back to Mark! We were talking about Mark; Mark show us your mark!” Clearly Doyoung was a master at attempting to turn the conversation away from himself whenever he was flustered.

Doyoung was definitely a giggly drunk and a little obstreperous under the influence of alcohol, despite the situation, “oof that rhym-ryhmed, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it!” He was grinning now, clearly impressed with his efforts towards an outdated joke, prompting Jaehyun to coo over his boyfriend (cough, disgustingly domestic, cough).

“If you not wanting to show us is about Haechannie, we get it, but you know we wouldn’t tell him if you didn’t want us too.”

Ten’s usual bite to his voice was gone and he spoke softly to Mark, despite his tendency to be louder and easily making his presence in a room known, he had a soft spot for Mark – seeming to care for the younger far more than he’d ever let on if asked. Typical tsundere Ten.

“Hyuck’s not here yet, right?”

Ten replied with a simple nod and a quick eyebrow raise to Johnny, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by Mark but he was used to being incapable of decoding their years-in-the-making ways of communicating nonverbally.

“Just, I’m not ready to tell him yet okay? If I show you all, he doesn’t hear a thing or I will know who to kill and I won’t hesitate to – I have dirt on every, single, one of you.”

“Okay, okay, whatever Mark, we solemnly swear to not tell Haechan or let him find out. Now show us that freaking tat!” Lucas would be the death of him one day, slapping a hand against Mark’s back and making him wheeze at the sheer force, partially knocking the wind out of him. How Yuqi (teeny-tiny, possibly quite fragile but also rumour had it she had a black belt in martial arts, Yuqi) hadn’t been crushed by one of his death-grip hugs, Mark will never know.

Exhaling deeply, Mark began to roll up his sleeve. He’d managed to tuck the tattoo away, hidden from eager eyes, underneath a long sleeve easily and hopefully he could find some sort of watch or bracelet in order to cover it up before having to leave the house over the next few days. As he pushed his sleeve toward his elbow and lowered his arm to allow the others to see, the kitchen had gone silent. All four of the onlookers (not counting Johnny and Ten who having already seen it, were no longer completely shocked by the marking) were in utter shock. Silence had washed over them, the thumping from the heavy bass dance music Ten had put on earlier and the ticking of the kitchen clock were the only things heard. That was until Doyoung was, foreseeably, the first one to lose all composure and let out an unattractive snort before clutching to Jaehyun’s shirt once again in a fit of giggles, gasping in attempts to breathe, between muttering ‘ oh my gods ’ and ‘ holy shits ’, the others all swiftly following suit after that. Even Mark managed to crack a smile at their reactions, despite his unwavering feelings weighing down his shoulders. But hey, what’s new?

Lucas was the first to speak, managing to catch his breath enough in order to be able to from a comprehensible sentence. “Okay, you win, that is understandably something you wouldn’t want to share.”

“Damn, Haechannie did not hold back. Babe I’m so glad we were in reception, all these dirty thoughts, you people are so disgusting. I have never been as grateful as I am right now to have bunny written on my hip and for my first thought to have been ‘squish’.”

The seemingly automatic assumption that Hyuck was the one responsible (again), didn’t fully register with Mark, too focused on the conversation continuing – not giving him the chance to protest what everyone was thinking, maybe it was for the best.

“Johnny, please tell me we’ll never become as disgustingly domestic as them, I don’t think I could handle the desire to vomit every thirty seconds. I like fun, I like spice and flirting, not patterns and cheesy nicknames.”

“Shut up Ten, domestic is cute! Domestic shows commitment - don’t be bitter just because you can’t handle that.”

“Go take Yuqi on dates to drive in movies and other corny shit Xuxi, keep pretending you’re in one of those American movies from the nineties.”

“You’re just jealous because you can’t have dates outside of a five-mile radius of this house.” Ouch, wrong place and wrong time Yukhei, not good - not good at all.

“Okay everyone! Ten do not respond to that, Lucas go somewhere else before he starts fighting – you know I can’t hold him back. We’re here for my baby brothers eighteenth everyone, not arguing over soulmates and relationships. We’re done here, everyone back to the party.” His voice was stern and husky, stretching himself to his full stature - Johnny was a fluff ball but not one you wanted to make angry.

Johnny was always the mediator, the only one allowed to tease either of his baby brothers – as soon as someone else did he would automatically switch into over-protective older brother mode. Mark thought it was his way of protecting them, he’d been instrumental in the raising of Jisung and had grown up alarmingly quickly after having lost their father and as their mother became busier and busier with her work. Then he grew up more after he was pulled into the world of parties and late nights by older friends from various sports teams, desperately trying to forget about his newfound feelings for Ten at the time, at the tender age of sixteen. He continued to mature as he started his A-levels and helping Mark with his GCSE’s and Jisung venturing into high school for the first time. Their mother was busy, always there for them whenever she could be but that didn’t hide the absence of a father figure. Yet, they made do. Their mum did everything she could and more and they’d be forever grateful for that. He’d had to mature once again when Ten got accepted into an entertainment company in Korea – his lifelong dream – and they weren’t ready to go their separate ways, knowing that as soulmates it would only hurt them more. Ten not being able to wander around town or take Johnny on magnificent dates during the daylight hours was a sore subject for the two of them, not seeing each other in person for months at a time was hard – but they made it work. They both remember, unfortunately very well, the pain they went through when they both realised their feelings for each other and Mark remembers listening to Johnny cry to their mum when he realised that he was hopelessly in love with his best friend. Mark remembers the homophobic kids that were the year above Johnny and Ten, threatening them in the hallway, Mark remembers Johnny outing himself in front of a substantial amount of the student body in order to stick up for Ten; not caring about if he was ready or what people would say. Mark remembers Johnny as a protector, a rock, their anchor – always keeping them safe and grounded.

Luckily, everyone knew when to drop a conversation and most quickly dispersed from the kitchen, re-joining the party. Mark let out a sigh of relief – he knew he wasn’t ready to deal with this yet. He could feel himself sobering up by the minute.

“Hey, Mark. I’m really sorry for pushing you earlier. That wasn’t fair, not after how understanding you were about me and Jaemin. Do you want to get some air?”

Getting some air was their secret code, their way of escaping the world – even if only for a few minutes. Mark always thought there was something about the way you could just sit there, watching the world go by without a care in the world. Something about the way the air flowed around them – like it was easier to breathe, easier to let go of your worries. Their words would flow out, sitting with their legs dangling over the edge of the treehouse with the ability to chat the days away. Thoughts, feelings, dreams, all shared with the world and no longer the insides of their minds, eating away at any and all insecurities and worries. It took them back to when they were young, when they didn’t care about what went wrong, whether they messed up or not. Mark liked how naïve they were back then, not a single care about the future - everything would work out in their eyes - now, it was a continuous cycle of crippling anxiety, an overwhelming desire to achieve, sleep deprivation and a strong inclination to do nothing at all. Procrastination was, and always will be, a total bitch after all.

The two took their designated spots, watching the sun beginning to set over the field before them, casting a rose-coloured hue over the scene. Mark always had a fascination with sunsets, he isn’t sure when it started but there’s something about them that draws him in, maybe it’s the colours or the way Hyuck’s skin glowed just like the sun itself whenever the golden hour light was cast over him, highlighting his features and only exemplifying his beauty more. God, shut up Mark. You sound like a stupid lovesick teenager, oh wait... that’s exactly what you are.

“Earth to Mark? Calling Mark back to Earth in three, two and - “

“Sorry! Sorry, got distracted, guess there’s just a lot on my mind.”

“You don’t say. Come onnnnn! It’s your birthday Markie, we’re supposed to be having fun and getting far too drunk off of what will be later recounted to our parents as ‘just the one cider or beer’ and then regretting our entire existence in the morning when we’ve realised all the mistakes we’ve made while under the influence. For example, being three drinks in and already kissing boys that are far too pretty for their own damn good and frankly it’s very unfair.”

“So we’re less than two hours in to the party this time and you and Jaemin have already made out in my bathroom?”

“No, we only got to the hallway and then Hyuck rang him, something about an emergency and Heejin. Oh shit, sorry Heejin free zone.”

“It was a rhetorical question and I’m okay, you don’t have to keep things from me. Honestly, I’m okay. I know it’s the same old stupid, stupid trope but i’m not going to spend the rest of the year pining for my best friend. i’m going to enjoy this year; i’m going to get my grades and i’m going to get into uni and you know what renjun? i can do this, i can; not anyone elise - just me. I’m going to do this. I am sick of waiting around for things to happen. I am not going to sit around and look pretty while he inevitably breaks my heart, he has Heejin now. He’s not gay. School is my priority and that is something I can control. All the things I can fix, why not fix them now while I can?

Me and Hyuck, we don’t act like boyfriends, people don’t assume we are. They assume we’re best friends and maybe that’s all we’re ever meant to be. Maybe i’ve just confused the line between caring about someone and loving them. I am done crying over him, I’ll focus on being friends nothing more. That’s all we need and I’m perfectly okay with that.”

“So pining hours are over for you?”

“Pining hours over Hyuck are officially closed.”

“And where do we stand on pining hours for me over Jaemin being open?”

“Still very much open young padawan, it’s time for you to be honest with me.”

“Great because I love him, so much. But I’m also super scared. I know it’s supposed to be us against the world, I know that it’s supposed to be about you and hyuck being able to be just friends but I can’t do that with him - I really love him, like singing and dancing in the rain love him, hold a boom box outside my bedroom window love him. Like one make out session was so intense I forgot everything in that moment, I want to do that again and again.”

“So rather than telling him your feelings, you’re going to keep getting tipsy at parties and kissing him?”

“Yep. He has nice lips okay, don’t judge me.”

“Why won’t you just admit you’re soulmates? You could be happy, you can fall in love and let him look after you.”

“See, that sounds nice and all but after he freaked out thinking I don’t have a soulmate mark and we’re some freak exception to the rules, I don’t really know how to tell him he forgot to take my socks off? It also sounds kinda kinky and he’ll definitely make a sex joke and I’m not ready for that.”

“Well, whenever you are ready, for any of it, you know you’ve always got me.”

“You know this is the part where you’re supposed to tell me to go get that Jaemin dick?”

“I am not telling you to go get that dick-“

“Why are you two always hiding out here? Okay, why do I feel like you were talking about me?”

“Hey Jaemin, we were just coming down. Just wishing Markie a happy birthday.”

“Come on you two, but avoid the snug - Doyoung is giving Jaehyun a lap dance, Jaehyun’s also shirtless so there’s a bunch of girls drooling, mainly Mina so soon enough she’ll be on the vodka crying over the fact that ‘all the cute ones are gay’.”

“Let’s go then!”

You can do this Mark, you can have fun. It’s your birthday, get drunk and dance the night away.

#markhyuck #markhyuck fic #nct fic #nct fanfic #nct mark #nct haechan #nct donghyuck

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