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#I just wanna make stuff in my house and basically do like? cake commissions?
imwritesometimes · 1 month
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So like.... what if I had many ideas for cake decorating? And what if I just bought some stuff to make some cute cupcakes? And this cake idea I have had knocking around in my head? And what if I actually tried?
#sooooo here's the thing. I've tried to make stuff (not food) on my own before and sell it#I had an etsy... it didn't uh. go well.#and so. because of past. tanking flaming failures. I am apprehension to try anything ever again. ever.#and then I talked to a financial clown dick last year (mandatory) and he shut down baking real quick#and I think he thought I meant like. full blown bakery space. which like. no. no thanks.#I just wanna make stuff in my house and basically do like? cake commissions?#like hey heres the cakes/cupcakes/candies/etc I offer I have x amount of slots open for the month put orders in a week in advance!#and like. I've THOUGHT abt this. I have thought abt what I'd offer. seasonal menus. like. I've REALLY thought abt it.#and my tax preparer was like financial clown dick is a clown dick there is some money to be made baking#and like because I have extreme like FOCUS ON THIS THING NOW!!! WOOO!!! FULL SPEED AHEAD WITH THIS THING!!!#syndrome#all I've been able to think abt now is decorating cakes & cupcakes#I ordered some stuff. I HOPE HOPE HOPE it arrives in one piece pls god 🤞🤞🤞#gonna make some stuff and see how it turns out#I have a LOT of things I could make though not JUST cake/cupcakes#so idk I'd love to get paid to make desserts & candies. even if it was just like not a TON of profit but some extra cash#to pay bills. maybe have a lil fun money.#gahhhh I'm really in my head abt this and I'm also SO sleepy I'm like hysterical rn#anyway. venting abt it here cause I don't wanna jinx it speaking abt it irl (anxiety is so much fun 🙃)#erin explains it all
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izzy-b-hands · 6 years
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Murder House, Part One
This is my @mtl-trick-or-treat for @enydart! I hope you like it; I had a lot of fun writing it! I also started something for your Treat prompt, so if you like this and want that one as well, just let me know and I will finish it and post it asap!
This was for the Trick prompt, asking for ‘something gross with Murderface.’ I went to something that most people find gross (though maybe not the Dethklok boys, since they see so much of it lol)-murder. But I had to give Murderface some fun and happiness too since he gets shit on so damn often, so hopefully this is gross enough!
Fic under the cut because this got long; RIP and my apologies to mobile users if the cut isn’t working on the app. I was actually going to try and fit the whole thing in one post, but found out there is a post length limit (who knew!) so I have split this into Part One and Two! I will post Part Two by the end of tomorrow at the latest (it just needs a few final touches!)
The ads for the haunted house played constantly from October 15th on . Radio, TV, even billboards plastered all over. He did his best to ignore them, even though he wanted to take a flamethrower to any billboard or screen that had the ad on it for even a second. 
The rest of the band, however, was harder to ignore. By the fifth night of the ads playing during their favorite evening TV shows, he was ready to snap listening to them comment. 
“Look at thats; you ams the most famous of us now,” Skwisgaar snickered as the ad played. 
Lights flashed and flickered on the big screen as it showed the haunted house actors depicting the murder-suicide that had sent him to his grandparents. There was even a chubby baby actor sat in the middle of the gore-’Baby Murderface looks on in horror!’ exclaimed the ad’s dramatic narrator. 
“Ams thats legal?” Toki asked, pointing at the screen. “To use your lifes like thats and makes a haunted house so...sads?” 
“Amn’ts even haunted really,” Skwisgaar replied. “Just sads. A sads house. What ams scary about thats?”
Pickles shrugged. “Well, someone sold their rights to their life story years ago. That’s scary, if you ask me. Cuz then they can do shit like this, and you’re shit outta luck to stop them. Ain’t that right, Murderface?” 
He wanted to just rage. To tell them to shut the fuck up, or he’d set fire to the living room just like he wanted to set fire to the haunted house and anyone who was involved with it. But he’d been upset constantly, since the ads had started. It felt strange, but he was almost tired of being upset and yelling about it. He just wanted to do something to get rid of it. 
“Whatever, juscht schut up about it. They were schupposed to make a cool movie out of my life,” Murderface sighed. 
Nathan chuckled. “You uh, you really thought they were gonna do that? Buying the rights to your life story; that was gonna make a really cool movie?” 
“Yeah, why the fuck not? People make movies about all kindsch of dumb schit; you can make a movie about anything basically!” Murderface spat back.
“Okay, Murderface, look--thing is, they gotta have a cool fun story, to make a cool movie. A movie about your life...that’d be pretty sad, dude,” Pickles said. “I mean, who the fuck would wanna watch that?” 
“Well, once he joins us, I mean...that’d be a cool movie,” Nathan said. 
“Yeah, but then that’s just a Dethklok movie,” Pickles replied. “And that ain’t what he wants; he wants a Murderface-only movie. But nobody’s gonna go see that, or if they did they’d like...I don’t know, cry themselves to death or something.” 
Murderface bit his tongue. They were in a rhythm now, going back and forth to talk shit about him. It was easier to try to stay quiet and ride it out. 
“Yeah, probably. Can you see it? ‘Saddest movie ever, millions cry themselves to death and stab out their own eyes’,” Nathan said. “Huh. Actually, that would be brutal as fuck. Murderface, you should call them--tell them to nix this haunted house bullshit and make the movie instead.” 
There were tears at the corner of his eyes, even though he didn’t want them there. He tried to look only at the TV, hoping no one would notice them. 
“Oh geez, look yous mades him cry now,” Skwisgaar tutted. “You eggs him on like this, when he ams already a big crysbaby, makes it worse. Ams you just a big baby Murderface? No, so knocks it off.” 
“He likes attention, that’s all he wants,” Pickles started. 
“Yeah, I says thats, like a big baby,” Skwisgaar interrupted. “Needings all this attentions.” 
 “Oh fuck you! You’ve got moviesch and booksch written about you!” Murderface protested. If anyone could talk about being an attention-needy baby, it was Skwisgaar. 
“Yeah, but I has to have them all takens down. Dids not authorize anys of thems, so they amnt’s accurate. I don’ts want them, but people makes them anyway.” Skwisgaar replied testily. “And does yous mean Toki’s book? Because that ams nots something I wanted either.” 
“Oh fuck yous, Skwisgaar,” Toki scoffed. “Yous ams just as bad. What theys calls an ‘attention whores’.” 
“Oh, and what ams yous, Mr. Gives-me-a-solo-rights-now-or-I-cries?” Skwisgaar shouted. 
It devolved from there, and he tuned it out. They’d forgotten to keep making fun of him, at least. But there was no watching the show with that much yelling over it; the cue to head in for the night. 
His boots thudded against the stone floors, and then against the wall of his room as he kicked them off and tossed them into a corner. 
“Schtupid executive asscholes. Schtupid Halloween. My life ischn’t scary, or schad, or anything--it’sch mine. How’d they like it if schomeone did that to them?” he grabbed an ancient dagger from its spot hanging on the wall and slashed in front of him. “Or better yet--Michael or Freddy or schomething could come and cut them down. Just schome creepy freak coming after them.”
He let the dagger clatter to the floor. “They’d never schee it coming...” 
And there it was. The perfect revenge, to make sure they’d never take anyone else’s life and turn it into some stupid attraction. To show them he wouldn’t take this lying down. 
Or that someone wouldn’t, at least. 
After all, Charles did have a few limits legally. He got them out of a lot of shit, but some of it was going to simply come down to being careful. There wasn’t too much work to do anyway--the website for the haunted house listed two main executives from the studio he’d sold his rights to, a team lead for the attraction itself, and if he could take out a few actors in the house too, well that was just icing on the cake at that point. 
It wasn’t a lot of murders for Charles to have to make disappear, but it was enough work if it was Murderface, famous bassist committing them. 
But a faceless, nameless boogeyman could get the job done. 
The outfit was easy to draw up, his ideas flowing like water. A little bit Michael with the black protective jumpsuit, and a touch of Freddy with the knives, all hidden in specially designed pockets so it wouldn’t look super bulky. The mask was fitting of any horror movie monster--blank and emotionless, unknowable.
Really, the mask was his masterpiece. Made of a flexible material so as to still be comfortable, with specialty coatings on the front to make it difficult for any victim to stab or shoot through it. It wouldn’t stop everything, but it would help keep him from getting outright killed. Not that he planned on giving them much of chance for that. Last, it would be painted a dark shade of blue, almost black, the color he figured would make it easiest to blend into any shadows. Only holes for the eyes and a few hidden ones near the nose--anything more felt too risky, too much of a chance to potentially be recognized. 
The bonus of being this rich was that no one would ask questions when he ordered weird shit. Hell, he commissioned random costumes for Planet Piss all the time. Charles would make sure the orders got processed as quickly as possible, and then his work could begin.
It was almost therapeutic, all of the planning and designing. It made falling asleep easier and quicker than it had been in weeks, and for the first time in awhile, he slept with a smile on his face.
                                          --------------------------
The three days that followed were all tense excitement. Excitement for waiting for the outfit to get there, excitement to get started. With the main businessmen taken out of the equation, it would be easy to get Charles to start the legal side of things--to file lawsuits for everything from defamation to claiming he never sold his rights at all. And then the thing would be shuttered for good. 
The suit arrived first. Thick material, meant for an industrial setting, slow to stain or tear. And it fit like a glove. 
“I’ll corner thosche asscholes in their penthousches, and paint the wallsch with their gutsch!” he crowed as he finished buttoning it. It was a bit weird not wearing his shorts, but some sacrifice would be required to pull this all off. 
Now he could only hope the guys wouldn’t question the deliveries he was getting. They almost always did--for anyone. Pure morbid curiosity, or hoping it was something fun to be shared. 
So of course, they asked. 
“Uh, you quitting on us or something?” Pickles asked on the morning of the fourth day after the Plan had started, as they all dug into their breakfasts. “Going into construction?” 
“Of coursche not,” Murderface replied. “How’d you find out what it was anyway?” 
Pickles shrugged. “I smoke up with one of the gals in the mail room. She lets me look at all the mail that comes through here. Kinda fun.” 
“What the fuck, how long has she let you do that?” Nathan asked, his fork still halfway to his mouth as he stared perturbed at Pickles. 
Pickles shrugged again. “Couple years now. Why, you ordering nasty sex toys or something you don’t want me to see?” 
Nathan flushed pink, and glared down into his pancakes. “Don’t be an asshole. Just don’t want you going through all my shit.” 
“Yeah, you’re ordering nasty shit. I’m gonna watch out for your stuff more now,” Pickles grinned. 
“Juscht fire her,” Murderface said, grateful the topic was drifting away from his mail. “Then he can’t get in there anymore.” 
“Nah, he won’t,” Pickles replied. “You guys all know her--the one with those green eyes.” 
“Damn it,” Nathan huffed. “She’s nice. Always leaves a little note on my mail when she brings it to my room with a smiley face. I can’t fire her.” 
“Told ya,” Pickles smirked. “So, ya going to your shitty haunted house or something? Making a spooky costume, Scaryface?” 
“Yeah, might use it for Halloween” Murderface snorted. “But, itsch really for Planet Pissch. Got a...concept album idea going.” 
“Ams it piss?” Toki asked. 
Skwisgaar rolled his eyes as he sipped his coffee. “Whats does you think, Toki. What’s else woulds it be?” 
“Wes should does a groups costume this year,” Toki said. “Then wes can all goes to sees the sads Murderface house!” 
“I woulds be ups for thats,” Skwisgaar replied. “Gots to be somethings cool though, Toki.” 
“No, no, what the fuck, no,” Pickles protested. “Thought you Swedes were antisocial, why the hell do you wanna do a group costume?” 
Skwisgaar glared. “Because I ams Swedish, I can’ts have friends? Wes can’ts have funs with a groups costume? Ams I meant to hates fun?” 
“I just figured you wouldn’t think it was cool,” Pickles replied. “Don’t gotta be a douche bag about it.” 
“Oh fines then, I goes as the personifications of nihilism,” Skwisgaar scoffed. “Ams that an acceptable costume for mes, Pickle?” 
Murderface ate in silence as the argument grew over the group costume idea. He’d get used to even more arguments if it meant they’d forget to ask him about what he was doing. 
Still, Pickles potentially seeing his mail made him worry. When the mask showed up later that day, he made sure the mail team knew to bring it straight to his room. 
But it was Charles who knocked on his door and had the package in hand. 
“Look it over, if you want changes made we’ll send it back right away,” he said, watching as Murderface tried to open the package without letting him see too much of it. 
“Serial killer...that’s a fun costume,” Charles continued as Murderface turned away to examine the mask.
“How would you know?” Murderface asked as he felt Charles sit on the end of the bed. “Can’t see you getting dressed up for Halloween much.” 
Charles only shrugged. “So...will it work?” 
Murderface turned and stared. Did he somehow know? How the fuck could he know? 
“For your costume?” Charles asked, an eyebrow raised. 
“Oh, yeah. Perfect,” Murderface replied, relieved. And it was, exactly the way he wanted it. 
“Good,” Charles said, a small smile on his face. “Have fun putting it together. I’m sure you’ll look great.” 
After Charles had left, he pulled everything on and stood in front of the mirror near his closet. The whole picture--suit, mask, boots, a pair of black leather gloves--looked good. 
Except...
His hair ruined it. Everybody knew his hair, the fucking curly triangle. He had to hide it.
A thick winter beanie didn’t help, and the mask fit funny then. Any other hats would likely be the same result. 
“You gotta go,” he told the reflection of his curls. “We’re ugly asch schit anyway, being bald ain’t gonna make a difference.” 
He called for a klokateer from the hairdressing department, and changed back into his regular clothes while he waited for them. 
The klokateer had to have run, she was so out of breath. “Sir, you needed someone immediately. How may I assist you?” 
He pointed to his hair. “Get rid of it.” 
Her eyes were only barely visible with her hood on, but he could see them go wide. “Uhm...maybe we could just try a different style? Going straight to bald is a big change, sir.” 
“I. Want. It. Gone,” he replied. She’d run to Charles in a minute, he was sure of it. 
“Uh, we’ll need the clippers, not these,” she said, holding up a pair of shears. “Just let me go get those.” 
He sat on his bed and waited for the phone to ring. She’d have run to Charles, begging for help as to what to do without being seen as being disobedient. A moment later, his Dethphone rang loudly. 
“Murderface, I’ve got a very scared and confused young woman in here saying you want to chop off all your hair. Is this true?” Charles asked. 
“Yeah,” Murderface replied. “Why’sch that a big deal?” 
“Well, it is a very sudden image change. We’ll have to do all new publicity photos, promotions. And it is a bit random--why do you want to do this?” Charles asked. 
“Want a change, that’sch all,” Murderface sighed. “Can’t a guy want to change schit up?” 
Charles sighed. “Of course. I’ll send another hairdresser to you. This one’s a bit too shaky to do the job now.” 
Murderface tapped the ‘end call’ button, and flopped back against his pillows. The guys would hate having to take new pictures, but they’d get over it. Besides, maybe they’d have to make a sacrifice or two to help his revenge as well. 
It was a male klokateer this time, silent as he sat down a chair and propped a broom and dust pan near the door. He was silent all the way through the cut as well, but that was just fine. 
When the klokateer had cleaned the floor of his curls and left, Murderface put the outfit back on. 
It made a world of difference. Now, he looked like a proper faceless killer. 
Now, all he had to do was start killing. 
                                          -----------------------
The next morning, he was glowing. There was no other way to put it. He was excited beyond belief to get started. Granted, he still needed to do a bit of research to figure out where each victim would be. But there were multiple social media accounts for each person, so it would be easy enough. 
The biggest worry right now was the reaction to his hair, or the lack of it. The guys did not disappoint as he joined them at the breakfast table. 
“What in the fuck dids yous do?” Skwisgaar asked, dropping his fork. “And why?” 
“I wanted to,” Murderface replied. “Felt like something different. Not bad, right?” 
“Ugggghhh,” Nathan whined. “We’re gonna have to do new promos now. I hate promo photos.” 
“Yeah, but they moved that green-eyed klokateer to the makeup team,” Pickles said. “Charles found out she was letting me in the mail room and uh...look, it was either move her or lose her. But you could talk to her more now, since she’ll be at the promos shoot.” 
Nathan smiled a very small smile. “Would be nice to say hi...” 
“Yeah, cuz you think she’s pretty. Even with the hood,” Pickles teased. 
“She is,” Nathan said. “Don’t make it weird when she’s around us, okay? We don’t wanna creep her out.” 
“Don’t worry, I won’t ruin it for ya,” Pickles replied as he shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth. “You’ll get your chance with pretty mail girl.” 
“Not ifs Murderface gets it firsts,” Toki said. “Ams almost normal lookings now.” 
They all stared at Toki, then at Murderface. 
“Huh...you do look decent. I mean, still weird to see, but I don’t know, it works somehow,” Pickles said, breaking the brief silence. 
Nathan nodded. “Still not getting her number though.” 
“I won’t even try,” Murderface replied, rolling his eyes. He could worry about getting groupies with his new look after all his work was done. Normally, he’d have been all over the idea right away, but this was different. 
“Nots going to beats my numbers,” Skwisgaar muttered. “But yous looks okay. Almost goods, even.” 
“What can I schay, I know what looksch good,” Murderface smiled. “I was right about my schorts being schexy as hell, now with thisch--I’m gonna be irresistible.” 
He shoveled his food in quick as the conversation moved on to some bullshit about Toki wanting more groupies at the end of each concert. He had more important concerns. He’d get the suit ready with all of the knives he’d set aside for the project, and figure out where to go for his first target. If he could, he’d head out for it tonight. 
As soon as he was done with his plate, he dashed back to his room and started putting them away. It was fun, with so many hidden pockets to fill. He’d never get caught without a weapon, and once he was done it would go back to its spot--no murder weapons to be left behind. 
“Perfect,” he breathed as he finished the suit and held it up in front of himself. 
“Is it?” 
Charles’ voice made him jump. He hadn’t even heard him come in. 
“How the hell...what the...you should learn how to knock!” Murderface yelled, carefully folding the suit in close to his chest, as if he could somehow prevent Charles from seeing it any further.
“Sorry,” Charles replied, a smirk on his face. 
Murderface felt sweat pooling on his face. Charles wasn’t supposed to know about this part of things. Just to know when the assholes were dead, so he could start the legal paperwork. “Uh...now you know my costume is really perfect! I’m gonna look great!” 
“You will,” Charles agreed. “Also, 4242.” 
“What does that mean?” Murderface asked. 
“The first executive you’re going to kill. The code to his penthouse door is 4242,” Charles replied matter-of-factly. 
Murderface knew his jaw was hanging open, but he couldn’t help it. How in the hell had he figured it all out?
“All the details for your orders lead to someone far away from here. Some ass in Ohio who keeps trying to scalp Dethklok tickets. If the worst happens, and they start tracking anyone down to nail for these killings, it’ll be that jerk. Not you,” Charles continued. 
“How did you--” Murderface started. 
“Does it really matter?” Charles asked. “Point is, you’re doing a good job of keeping your tracks covered--I’m just going to make sure they stay covered.” 
“How do I know you aren’t gonna fuck me over though?” Murderface asked. If there would be anyone to turn him in, he would guess Charles would be the first to do it. 
Charles looked genuinely hurt at that. “Look, I get it. I’m not fun, I don’t seem like the type to let you get away with this. Just--just know I’ve got my reasons for wanting you to be successful in this endeavor. I won’t fuck you over.” 
“What, you’ve got bodies buried out in a desert schomewhere too?” Murderface asked, snorting. 
Charles didn’t laugh. Didn’t chuckle. Didn’t move an inch. That was scary as fuck. 
“Uh, never mind. You don’t gotta anschwer that,” Murderface said quickly. 
Charles sighed. ‘Look, he leaves for the Bahamas soon. So we need to get you out to him by this time tomorrow. And to the rest fairly quickly too, if we want this thing shut down by Halloween.” 
“You...you don’t like the haunted housche either?” Murderface asked. He’d figured Charles honestly didn’t give that much of a fuck about it. 
“Of course I don’t,” Charles scoffed. “Makes you look bad, and by association, the band. You don’t deserve it, and neither do the guys. But I haven’t found a way to touch them yet legally, so this...well, it’ll be perfect.” 
Murderface was struck. Granted, he was just as concerned about the band as he was for him, but...someone gave a shit. Honestly, truly, cared. 
“I’ll let you know when the plane is ready. Get packed,” Charles instructed as he turned and headed for the door. 
“You know where they all are?” Murderface asked. “You’re schure?” 
“I wouldn’t send you if I wasn’t,” Charles replied as he left. “I’ll have an alibi for your absence, in case any of the guys notice. So just go with it, okay?” 
Murderface nodded, and rushed to pack as Charles footsteps faded down the hallway. 
In six days time, all the assholes would be dead, and everything would be good again. 
The excitement was delicious.
                                            -----------------------
The plane ride was quick, yet not quick enough. Still, before he knew it, he was in front of the penthouse building. It wasn’t too far from Mordhaus, only about fifty miles. He’d expected to have to travel longer, but was glad he didn’t have to. 
It was a busy enough place that crowds bustled around him, and he could drift past people through the doors without anyone glancing at him. The security guard was asleep, and there was no one else in the lobby. He didn’t want to jinx it, but it almost seemed like it would be easy. 
Then again, it wasn’t like there was much to stare at. He looked like any other guy coming to stay with someone in the building, in a black tee and jeans that Charles had waiting on the plane for him. The black duffel bag that held his suit and mask looked like any other travel bag. He was just a visitor, no one to look twice at. 
It was an incredibly freeing feeling. He’d never thought he would miss being anonymous, but it was nice for a short time. 
The service elevator wasn’t even hidden; he found it down a hall just off of the lobby. On the ride up to the penthouse, he changed, his hands shaking. He stowed the bag in the small room that housed the upper level entrance to the elevator, then started down the hall to the door of the penthouse.
The design of which was gross even to him. It might have been called a penthouse, but it was technically the first two top floors--in his mind, it was bigger than a penthouse then. 
But he wasn’t there to argue exactly what this guy’s home qualified as. He punched the code into the door panel, grabbed a large kitchen knife from one pocket sheath, and started into the dark home. 
A bachelor, and it showed by the state of the penthouse. There was still a pile of coke laying on the living room table, which was just showy and ridiculous to Murderface. Erotic art covered the walls, and while he owned a few of the same pieces himself, even this was a bit of overkill. You could barely see the wall behind the art there was so much of it. 
A light shone in the darkness, probably a bedroom. He moved towards it, as quiet as he could manage. 
“Jasmine?” a raspy voice called out. “I didn’t expect you tonight, baby. I’m not gonna pay you for a surprise visit; I hope you know that. But I’ll be happy to have some company.” 
This was it. Murderface gripped the knife tight, and charged into the room. 
The executive was in a open robe and boxers, and stared in shock at Murderface. 
“What in the--” he started.
Murderface stepped forward and shoved the knife into his open mouth. It was hard to yank back out, but the choking noises were incredibly satisfying to hear as he stabbed again and again--the man’s fat gut, his chest, slashing across his arms as he back up and fell to the bed, raising them to try and defend himself. Blood was splattered across his mask, and sweat dripped down his face, but he was enjoying the exertion--which would figure. The only exercise he’d enjoy would have to be illegal. 
Finally, the executive stopped moving. His intestines were falling out of him, and blood drenched the silver silk sheets and painted the walls. It was glorious. 
“One down,” he muttered to himself. “Two and how many extras to go.” 
He checked three times for a pulse before he left. The walk out was as easy as the walk in too--he changed again in the elevator, using a rag in the bag to wipe his boots clean, and walked past the same guard who was still fast asleep. 
The air tasted sweeter outside. It was cliche, but so true. He felt good--he always talked about doing shit, but so often didn’t. It felt amazing to finally do something. 
And he was excited to do more.
                                      ------------------------
He slept on the plane ride home, not bothering or caring to check the time. He’d get home when he’d get home, and deal with any questions from the guys if any of them were up. He hadn’t left too late, so they were likely to still be stumbling around watching TV or something. 
Sure enough, they were all squished together on a couch, seemingly half asleep. They bounced back to wakefulness once he walked in though. 
“You dog!” Pickles shouted. “We heard about her; Charles told us everything! Toki was right, the hair was the problem. Now you’re getting models!” 
He grinned as Pickles charged towards him and slapped him on the back. He kept a tight hold of his duffel bag as he was steered towards the couch. He didn’t want any of them getting curious and searching through it. This was a hell of an alibi that Charles had given him. 
“So?” Skwisgaar asked expectantly. 
“What?” Murderface asked. “The model?” 
“Yeah!” Nathan exclaimed. “How was she?”
“Uh, amazing, of course,” Murderface replied, hoping he sounded less awkward than he felt. “Juscht wild, you know how models are.” 
“Looks at him,” Skwisgaar chuckled, and gently patted his cheek. “Still all sweaty and disgustings. Goods for you!” 
Murderface just nodded and smiled. This was all good and fun (though it would be more fun if Charles also could supply him with an actual model to date) but he was still tired. And he needed to get his stuff into his room and clean it all up. 
“Look at that grin,” Nathan laughed. “God, are you finally gonna be fun? That’s awesome, if you are.” 
“Yeah!” Toki added. “Then wes all gets ladies for afters our shows, and everybody ams happy! Oh wowee, we gotta takes you out to celebrates!” 
“Yeah,” Murderface agreed as he stood from the couch. “Schome night later this week maybe. Or hey, what about Halloween? Big night out to celebrate!” 
They cheered. They’d never been this enthusiastic for one of his suggestions before. Was it the hair, the alibi and fake accomplishment, or the real confidence from the murder that he’d been missing all this time to get them to really like him? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he wasn’t ever going back to what he was before. 
“That sounds like fun, and I hate to interrupt the planning,” Charles said, suddenly in the room. They needed to put a damn bell on him. “Can I borrow Murderface for a moment though? After all, I’m sure he needs to actually get some sleep now!” 
Their happy laughter echoed down the halls as Charles gently pulled him away from the couch and to his room.
He shut and locked the door, and gestured to two plush armchairs at one wall of the massive bedroom. “Have a seat. You deserve the rest. Scotch okay?”
Murderface nodded and took in the room. It was very...Charles. Richly yet plainly decorated. All black and red, almost something out of Dracula’s castle with the velvet everywhere, yet nothing stood out about it to declare it as Charles’. The chair was comfy, if nothing else. 
He dropped his back by him as he dropped into the chair, and gratefully took the glass of scotch from Charles. 
“So...how was it?” Charles asked. 
He took a breath. “It wasch...amazing. I can’t wait for the next one.” 
He felt his cheeks flush as Charles grinned. 
“I’m glad you had fun. I figured you would, but I wanted to check in just in case. I’m proud of you for this, you know,” Charles said. “This is quite an undertaking. But you’re doing wonderfully.” 
Murderface nodded. “Thanksch.” 
The silence sat for a moment before Charles broke it. 
“You want to know why I’m so invested.” 
He nodded. “I mean...I get it. You take care of usch, and all our bullschit. But this...you’re really exschited for this.” 
Charles tossed back the scotch in his glass and smiled. “Well. I can’t tell you everything. In fact, there’s more I can’t tell you than there is that I can. But I--I had my own reasons to do this sort of violence you’re doing now. The why doesn’t matter so much anymore, not to me at least. But that’s because the people I needed dead are in the ground, rotting, and no longer a threat to me. And that is...very freeing.” 
“You feel safe,” Murderface found himself whispering, so quietly his speech impediment didn’t have a chance to start. 
Charles nodded, but his eyes were on his empty glass. “Yes. I suppose that’s the best way to describe it.” 
“Did you enjoy it?” Murderface asked. 
Charles chuckled. “I think you know the answer to that already.” 
He nodded. “Yeah. Bet you’d be out here doing these yourschelf if you could.” 
Charles sat up a bit straighter. “I mean...it would be fun. To do it again. Even just once. But I don’t want to take away from your fun.” 
“I’ll need help at the haunted housche,” Murderface replied. “I’ve got to take out the team lead, but there’ll be a bunch of actorsch we can take down too...I don’t want to be overwhelmed by anyone fighting back. You could come with, if you think you can make it.” 
Charles looked happier than he’d ever seen him before. “If you really want me to; I’d love to. I don’t get out very often anymore.” 
“It schows,” Murderface scoffed before he could catch his tongue. He looked nervously at Charles, awaiting the lecture.
Instead, Charles threw his head back and laughed. “Fuck. It does, doesn’t it? All work and no play...Yeah. I’ll come with for the haunted house. You can have fun with the second executive on your own first though.” 
“I schuppose you’ll have all the info for me about him by tomorrow?” Murderface smiled. 
“Of course,” Charles replied as they slowly stood and went to the door. He unlocked it, handed him the duffel bag, and patted Murderface’s back gently as he walked out. “Get some good sleep--you’re going to need the energy.” 
“What? Isch this guy schome sort of Olympian-executive or schomething?” he asked. 
Charles shook his head. “But you should be well-rested before these, uh, little adventures no matter what. Better form, and then you won’t tire out halfway through things.” 
Murderface nodded. “Hey...uh, thanksch. For all of thisch. I mean, I’d probably be fine on my own too, but--” 
Charles just nodded back. “I get it. Have a good night, Murderface.” 
The door clicked shut behind him as he started down the hall towards his room. He was definitely ready to sleep some more. But the morbid curiosity was gnawing at him too--what other skeletons did Charles have in his closet, and what exactly had he done to put them there?
Maybe he’d find out after Halloween night, if he could get him to join them for celebratory drinks. He hoped he would. 
                                                 -------------------------
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rockthecotswolds · 6 years
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A Rocking Day in the Life: Betsy Benn
We meet Rocker and multi award-winning founder of the wonderful personalised prints, gifts and decorations company that is www.betsybenn.com
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So Betsy, when did you set up the business and what were you doing beforehand?
We launched Betsy Benn in March 2010 and I’d kind of been doing a couple of things before that. My “big job” was as an events manager for Zurich in Swindon, but after I’d had my baby I really couldn’t figure out commuting from Cheltenham, and all the overnight stays and travelling involved in my role when my husband was also doing a lot of travelling. We’d waited a long time to start a family and I’d always planned to take a career break anyway so I was in the middle of that break when I realised I was surrounded by adorable babies pretty much all the time. 
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I took my love of photography and launched a small baby portraiture business. It was doing okay, but my clever husband pointed out that there was a healthy gap between commissions and my photographic printer needed cleaning between each job and this wasted a lot of expensive ink. So I thought I’d design a few prints to sell in between commissions to keep the printer clean – and then the prints side literally exploded and the photography business was history!
Did you choose your office location for any particular reason?
Um – have you seen this door? Talk about kerb appeal. 
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Before we moved into the Royal Crescent there were three full timers working in my house, and sometimes two part timers as well. We were literally falling over each other at some points and at Christmas time it was beyond daft to try and manage that. 
We’d already converted the loft and built a garden studio to maximise the house space, but when I walked into the building we are in now, I fell in love! So big, so spacious, it was more than we needed, but you know we have filled that to its limits and we need to think about how we take the next step and where that might be.
How many people do you work with and what do they do?
We have two full time Betsy helpers – Catherine, who is the office manager and basically makes sure the place doesn’t fall apart and reminds me to pay the bills whilst also giving excellent customer service and Rachel, our resident graphic designer who designs everything I ask for and also solves practical problems like “how will we engrave these aprons without unfolding them”. They were both off at the same time for a week once – I sort of enjoyed the challenge of being back hands on again, but the post only went out on time twice, there were large piles of things for them to look at when they got back and my wine consumption that week doubled. 
Then we have Stuart, a freelance graphic designer who helps us when we get uber busy and when we have techy questions about a particular issue. He and I have really similar music tastes so when it’s just the two of us in the studio I get to play very loud 1990s grunge! 
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We have an open door it feels like when it comes to other floating helpers. We always get busy at Christmas and try to find some local graphic design students who want to earn a few bucks. And we offer internships in the summer when we are quiet and can spend some time sharing our skills and learning all about what’s new from the student’s perspective.
What’s a fairly typical day for you?
I drop the small one at the school bus stop at 7.20 so I’m normally in the studio by 7.30. If it’s not too busy at work I might sneak in a quick swim or gym session first and then rock up at 9 like a normal person. First I go through the new orders and see what the day’s workload looks like for me and everyone else. The beauty of a small team is that we all work so well and in harmony together and most things are understood by most people. 
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There are some graphic design things that my office manager doesn’t get involved in, but that makes sense! We joke now that we work on a telepathic level and we don’t actually need to say most things out loud, and it’s kind of true. I might start a job and then get pulled away but Rachel or Catherine will seamlessly move in and finish it without me asking. The reverse happens too. I’m very lucky that my team love the jobs they have and are totally engaged in the success of the company. It makes working together very easy. 
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I try not to get involved too much in the actual orders these days, I need and love to work on new designs and also the bigger strategy for the business, the comms plans, the commercial direction all of that. I get drawn back into the orders every Christmas which keeps my skills sharp and my finger on the pulse. So my day could involve writing blog posts, working out a social media plan for the months, developing new designs and products, reaching out to other creative businesses for the creative hub plan I have for the future (!) or even making and photographing new products.
How do you get to work?
It’s a quick drive. I wish I could do it another way a bit more regularly. On Fridays in the summer I will often walk in because I don’t have to do either end of the school run, but every other day I feel like I’m squeezing the absolute maximum amount of time in the office as I can before I have to head off and collect my son from school in Stroud. And even then I’m quite often late! 
Every spring I say that I will cycle in a bit – but (big secret here) I never actually learned to ride a bike when I was young and although I have a bike now, I’m still very much not in control of where it goes – so there’s some work to do there!
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Where would you recommend to eat during your lunch break?
Star Bistro is right next door which can be both awesome and dangerous. We have a great relationship with them and they have been known to deliver sausage sandwiches to my desk. That takes some beating. Cheltenham is full of eateries though, we are very lucky. 
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SO Wagamama on a Friday, Huffkins or Swallow bakeries for any day that needs soup and cake, Bottle of Sauce for a half price burger on a Monday, Gianni’s for anything with loads of garlic, Boston Tea Party if you haven’t had breakfast yet, The Stable for Pizza, Turtle Bay if you need heat or have a cold coming and I can’t wait to properly try out Kindness & Co – I’ve walked past a couple of times and it looks soooo good.
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What’s been the most challenging and most rewarding part of Betsy Benn to date and why?
Wow, the answer to that will change on an almost daily basis. Challenges apparently help you to grow, right? Like forcing rhubarb? I’d say that launching and growing two businesses in a recession has been a fairly big challenge in and of itself, whilst still trying to find time to do other life stuff (tell me we all have days when we forget to eat, yes?).
But I think the biggest challenges are in keeping on creating new designs and collections that resonate with our ethos and our customers and then, of course, finding our customers – especially the new ones – and telling them about these great new products. We’ve had huge levels of success with notonthehighstreet.com and they have a great customer base, but we also need to be independent and support ourselves in that way.
I think the most rewarding stays the most constant and there are two biggies. It was a challenge to build the right team and get the right working environment, but we got there and we all really enjoy rocking up to the studio each day. 
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We’ve all come through personal disasters the last few years and having each other on a daily basis has helped pull us through! The second huge reward is the feedback we get from our customers. The things we create are so personalised and really all about a person’s story and their relationship with the gift receiver. They make the best gifts and we are constantly hearing how a print made someone cry, or was the most loved present of all. It puts a massive smile on my face every day.
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Any new products we should be looking out for this Christmas?
I am always guilty of falling a little bit in love with our latest products and actually (although that can be dangerous) I think that’s a good sign. If you don’t love your product, why would anyone else? And we really want to create products that people love and will carry on loving for a long time. 
So our latest products are our personalised denim aprons which have been flying out! Thankfully other folk love them too. They are these gorgeous hipster style dark denim aprons with a tan leather look pocket on the front that we can engrave with pretty much anything. They’re fabulous.  
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In Christmas decorations we launched a new decoration called Lasso The Moon which was inspired by the film It’s A Wonderful Life. It was a labour of love to get the right materials and make it look the way I wanted, but I love it so much! 
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And in prints we are just about to launch these amazing designs which look like typical vinyl record sleeve artworks, but they feature your own photographs, so you can be “the band”. Brilliant fun for any music fan!
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What’s your most popular?  What’s your own personal favourite?
Well, see above, I love all my babies! But the one most dear to my heart will always be the bus blind destination print. It kind of launched my business and is still a classic best seller. We just made a video to promote it a bit more – wanna see? (click here). I just love the way you can tell a whole life story with this print, or just the highlights of one amazing year. 
And every year we sell out of our amazing Balloon Advent calendars that are actually sold by our sister company, Luna Studio Designs. We were on TV a couple of years ago on Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas with them and they were also on the front cover of the Notonthehighstreet.com Christmas Gift Guide, so they have taken on a bit of a cult status now. Very cool!
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If you could recommend one place to go in the Cotswolds to a first time visitor where would it be?
JUST ONE?? Oh that’s hard. The Cotswolds is such a draw for so many different types of people that it’s hard to choose a one size fits all. Let’s see…. (my brain is exploding right now).
 Okay – you need to come to our house for a week whilst the Literature festival is on. That way we can show you the best bits of Cheltenham whilst it’s alive with clever types, we can treat you to a lunchtime steak at 131 and then a pint of Stowford Press at The Green Dragon which we will walk off all over Crickley Hill and marvel at the autumnal colours of the season. 
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Followed by an evening spa at Cowley Manor. We’ll also take in a craft course at the New Brewery Arts centre and maybe even a day of cookery skills and a wood fired pizza at the Daylesford Organic Café whilst you’re here. 
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You see – there’s too much to choose from!
How do you unwind after a day at work?
I’m sorry, UNW…..what? I’m not familiar with that concept. 
You might want to roll your eyes a little, but I’m one of those annoying people that lives up to that motivational quote print that you see in an insurance sales office “If you find a job that you love, you’ll never work a day in your life”. Newsflash – it’s kind of true. I’m answering these questions at midnight, with a glass of wine at hand, because I’m in “work” mode and enjoying it. 
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The big thing that no-one ever really shares with you when you decide to work for yourself, and it’s kind of obvious, is that you’re in charge and you get to decide how busy you are. You might think I’m talking rubbish, because as a retail business you are dependent upon people placing orders with you and buying your things! And then of course you will be busy fulfilling those orders, but you have to wait for those orders to come to you? 
Running a successful creative business is not the online equivalent of having an honesty box on the side of the road for the apples you’ve just harvested from your garden trees and this can be where a lot of craft based businesses let themselves down. 
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There is always something that you can do in this world to be telling people about your business, your products, your ethos, your story, your dreams – anything! And in that way I say you get to choose how busy you are – you get to choose your bus-y-ness! If you’ve told a great story and people are beating down your door to get your products, then you can be a little quiet for a while. 
But if that’s not the case, there a million ways to share what you are doing with your potential customers. And, like most entrepreneurs I’m sure, my mind is like a pinball machine on multiplay, with little silver balls hitting targets and lighting up lights right left and centre. 
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I’m currently in the process of reaching out to every creative person in the county in the hopes of building an online creative forum where we can all support each other and chat about the things that are getting in our way, or the latest brilliant thing we have discovered that makes life easier. 
And maybe one day that online forum might lead to a physical cooperative work space – who knows – but get in touch if any of that sounds interesting!
Our tagline at Betsy Benn is "a design for every story". 
Well, here, we've collected together our little promotional pieces that tell the stories of our designs, how they are made, what our customers love about our products and their stories which we translate into our personalised prints and designs.
www.betsybenn.com
Betsy Benn’s Awards to date
Best New Product: notonthehighstreet.com Make Awards 2013 - Winners
Entrepreneur of the Year: notonthehighstreet.com Make Awards 2012 - Winners
Best Customer Service Award:notonthehighstreet.com Make Awards 2011 - Winners
Business of the Year 2014 - Gloucestershire Women in Business Awards - Winners
Rock the Cotswolds is a not-for-profit campaign created to promote the talent and creativity of the area.  
It is sponsored by Crowe Clark Whitehill in Cheltenham - their belief in what we’re doing and generous support helps keep the campaign alive and kicking!
www.rockthecotswolds.com
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