Just finished the two next pages!

And because you're my favorite pals here on Tumblr, you get a little extra in advance, as a treat

I'm sure nothing bad is going to happen watsoever

@notstinglesstoo replied to your post “The thing is, and I haven't gotten a chance to...”:

I saw someone not long ago say cr has always felt like a product to them vs D20 feeling organic and I protected my peace but I did want to ask them if they were brain dead

​Oh man I wanted to address this at length because I feel this. My posts have been centered, again, specifically on published journalists picking Daggerheart aprt critically and applauding themselves for doing so despite it being within a couple of hours of its release and therefore any analysis is necessarily going to be based on at best, a skim, when they just as frequently will claim D20 seasons/Kollok are flawless works of genius based on only a partial read, but man D20's got a fandom problem too. (and all of the following comes with the caveat of "I really enjoy D20, and Dropout, and while we're at it WBN and NADDPod which both are half D20 Intrepid Heroes cast, and think Brennan is a particularly brilliant GM, and also it's obvious that the D20 and CR casts are on great terms, and wish the fandom for D20 were more welcoming and enjoyable because I feel it wasn't like this when I first started watching, as a CR fan, in late 2019 and has since curdled into something really weird and bad.")

The first point is the obvious one: technically speaking these are both products. These are performers doing an art form; it is also a portion of how they make their money with which they can buy goods and services. Believing that art is inauthentic when the artist gets paid and acknowledges that is a thing that happens is a fucking libertarian position at best. Like cool, you think only people who are independently wealthy by other means can make art, because it's not real labor, my kid could paint that, etc etc.

The second point is also pretty obvious. I have pushed back pretty hard on the "uwu CR is just watching friends! it's like we're in their living room" mentality among the fandom, which has decreased, thankfully, but like...it did in fact start organically as a private home game, and they decided, when invited, to make it A Show For An Audience. D20 was created on purpose as a show for an audience. This doesn't make it bad or fake - reread the previous paragraph - but in terms of "this is an group of people who really played D&D in this world together even before the cameras were rolling," Critical Role literally is that, and D20 is not.

I think beyond that...my biggest issues with the D20 fandom are first, the level of discourse is abominable. The tag is almost always just shrieking praise and the most surface-level readings possible. I keep bringing up the "Capitalism is the BBEG" mug but it genuinely sums up so much of how I feel; people who want their existing beliefs fed to them as surface-level no-nuance takes. I mean capitalism is fucking terrible but I do not need every work I watch to have a character turn to the camera and say "capitalism is bad" to enjoy myself, and indeed it makes it harder due to the lack of subtlety and grace. For all D20 fans complain about how unhealthily parasocial CR fans can be (and some can be), I find that a lot of the most unhealthily parasocial "how dare they BETRAY my TRUST by having a ship I don't like or not speaking up about every single societal ill" ex-CR fans move over to D20 and then pull the exact same shit; it simply doesn't get called out. Every time D20 fans are like "we don't want to become the CR fandom" it's like "your toxic positivity and unhealthy parasocial behavior exceeds the HEIGHT of what I've seen in CR; the main difference is that CR started in 2015 when D&D was still shaking off the raging bigot dudebros and so in the early days it acquired more of those fans, whereas by the time D20 came around the landscape of who played D&D and watched Actual Play had shifted wildly, and you need to judge September 2018 D20 fans in parallel to September 2018 CR fans, not September 2015 CR fans."

I also feel, and I alluded to this in the post about journalism, and other people have said this better than I have, but the pedestal people have put D20 on does feel like a single...not even misstep, but just, difficult choice that doesn't capitulate to the loudest fans will bring a good chunk of that fandom crashing to the ground. And that includes the journalists. For all the fans of CR can still be obsessed with the cast to an unhealthy degree? The cast and company have put up pretty strong boundaries and have not budged. D20 hasn't, and I think the second they do - and I think it will be for their benefit as a company and a channel - a big chunk of their most vitriolic CR-hating portion of the fandom will viciously turn on them.

Hi Keri! 🥰I love your blog and it’s awesome that Lloyd is one of your F/O’s! That’s so unique!!!! I really think that you might like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. He’s really intense like Lloyd, but I think he could love the right person so deeply and would do anything to protect them. Oh!! And before I forget, I was wondering if you have any Marvel character F/Os??????? 💕✨

HAHA AWW this is so sweet. Thank you for enjoying my blog, and a big special thank you for your approval of my dastardly taste in villains!! Lloyd Hansen was a surprise to me and it took me a couple of months to finally Feel Things for him... normally I lean more towards whimsical, mysterious antagonists with an iconic evil laugh (i.e. NPH's Count Olaf, Plankton, Dr. Horrible, Beetlejuice, etc) especially when they're dressed in a cape/trench coat, top hat, something like that. Lloyd is uhhh. special. :) he doesn't have any of those things yet he still kinda stole my heart regardless. Don't tell him I said that, though... his ego is big enough 😂

Patrick Bateman!!! I've read that name a couple of times, I think someone else has also recommended him to me as F/O material in the past??? I'm SO squeamish though, I don't know if I'd be able to watch American Psycho bc I've heard there's some uh, especially violent/abusive themes, and I'm a little wounded if I see something physically violent towards a woman or an animal... or I've heard that this character in particular is also violent during/after sexual acts(???) I don't know for sure tho, I could be wrong.

ANYWAY one of my best friends loves that movie and I'm more than willing to watch it with them if they can give me a heads up on all of the scary parts while we stream it together so I can mentally prepare haha (and I will say, it would be really, really, really nice to be able to look at a horrible, monstrous serial killer and think to myself with FULL confidence "oh, he would never hurt me. he'd use this energy to protect me. I'm the exception 🥰" I used to be able to think this way very easily until a year ago, but I am working on it!!!! maybe this will be a good exercise or something... for me to watch this character do some really really vile terrible things and think to myself "wow he loves me SO MUCH" LOL I managed to do that for Lloyd anyways! so who knows~)

And thank you for asking! :D I haven't seen... any Marvel movies actually!! Not that I'm aware of! I live under a rock. I didn't know who Chris Evans was until I watched The Gray Man a few months ago, I was wondering why he took up 99% of the main tag... and then I realized his actor was one of the most famous superheroes LOL

Does Deadpool count??? 👀 I'm in loooove with Wade Wilson but idk if he's Marvel or DC. Is there a different between Marvel and DC???.... OH and uhhh. Loki, I think he's very beautiful. However, I've never seen any movies/shows with Loki, but I really like his long black hair and green clothes; he reminds me of musical!Plankton :] Kissed and thrown into the pile. I love adding characters to my F/O list without even watching their source material. I've drawn myself kissing him once or twice even tho I don't know anything about him whatsoever. It's all about those vibes, baby!!! ✨✨✨

What movies would you recommend to me as a beginner?? Throw some suggestions my way, if you're up for it!!! Thank you so much for the lovely message btw this made me very happy!!!!! 😍😍💕💕💕

Why don't you like Nana? You've probably talked about it before but just in case you haven't, why?

You can look up my tag #.nana but basically it was just melodramatic misery porn to me with no real catharsis to justify it, and nothing likeable about the main two characters for me to be interested in them being terrible people. I like depressing shows like Bojack Horseman or shit like Berserk, but both these shows have at least one or two likeable aspects of each character and enough moments of optimism and catharsis that doesn't make it a constant fucking slog to sit through and motivates you to stay invested.

I also don't like any romantic relationship with that many parallels and straight up idolization of Sid and Nancy, one of the most over-romanticized unhealthy relationships in show business (which is fucking saying something). So that adds to Nana and her boyfriend's unlikability to me 😅

Hachiko's a dependent doormat and Nana is a possessive manipulative person, nobody in the friend group does anything about the literal child prostitute and the adult woman who knows he's a child and is still actively seeing him is a character I'm incapable of liking at all. The only characters I didn't hate were Yasu and the guy Hachiko broke up with to go be with her rapist. Like I feel sympathy for Hachiko because there are lots of women like her irl in abusive relationships, but that means her friendship with Nana being possessive and unhealthy, and her marrying her rapist who got her pregnant is just...not something I enjoy at all lol. If I wanted to watch that sort of thing I'd just watch a Lifetime movie.

20 questions

I was tagged by @untoldblisses THANK YOU I LOVE BEING TAGGED.

1. What do you prefer to be called namewise? feel free to call me vin!

2. When is your birthday? july 9th

3. Where do you live? 'murica

4. Three things you are doing right now? filling this out, drinking an iced mocha, and listening to music!

5. Four fandoms that have peaked your interest? supernatural always, hannibal always, annnnd idk. ive been thinking of rereading the captive prince trilogy which always sends me spiralling in a good way. and im like blanking on a fourth fandom. it is largely spn central around here.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you? honestly, not terribly. im very grateful for the experience ive had bc i know its a privilege. i kept my job, as did my friends and family. the additional time has left more opportunities to pursue hobbies and interests, and i am a homebody, so my preferred lifestyle has been the norm. that said, there's also been the requisite fear, guilt, anxiety, and stress to contend with.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now? hmmmmmm....this is where it ends by alice boman.

8. Recommend a movie.  i wish i could say i watched a lot of movies these days, but i just don't. in terms of general favorites people maybe haven't seen yet? christ uh...this is embarrassing i literally studied film. moonlight remains an absolutely devastating film.

9. How old are you? 30!!! and loving it.

10. School, university, occupation, other? i work in education! so looking forward to summer when things slow down.

11. Do you prefer heat or cold? cold for sure. but not too cold lol. i can't do snow, but right up to it with lots of rain and gray is ideal.

12. Name one fact others may not know about you. y'all don't know shit about me at this point so uh. if i were to release one fact i might say im bi!

13. Are you shy? i hate meeting new people but i'm pretty good at it all the same. so i guess no. i prefer to talk to nobody ever but when forced i can socialize fine.

14. Preferred pronouns? she/her

15. Biggest pet peeves? fandom tomfoolery tbh. like i've said befor,e im trying to keep this actual blog free from fandom-specific wank (i think show wank is okay, like we can have opinions) so i won't get into the specifics, i just think fandom needs to chill out. we're all a lot more alike than we think. that alongside people who refuse to take accountability for mistakes are the biggest thorns in my side these days.

16. What is your favourite “dere” type? lol i know what this is in reference to but idk enough about it to have an answer, apologies.

17. Rate your life from 1-10. i agree with untoldbliss. probably an objective 7.

18. What’s your main blog? a ~secret.~

19. List your sideblogs and what they’re used for. i actually don't have any sideblogs here! this is my main in terms of this account and the only one here. i don't imagine i'll ever have sideblogs here.

20. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? lol i guess just know i want to be friends. it's been one of the nicest parts of creating this account, actually talking with people. im bad at initiating, so i guess that's the biggest thing. but if we're mutuals, im here to chat!

insert spiel about tagging giving me anxiety, and actually untoldbliss tagged the folks i probably would have lol! so im looking forward to your answers. @decadent-prince if you haven't done this yet and would like to? literally anyone tho pls say i tagged you if you want to do this! consider yourself tagged!