#I have the image of Satan and Lucifer smoking in my head for some reason so now you all have to hear about it too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theinariakuma · 4 years

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“There are no limits” - can I request this prompt with Lucifer please🥺👉🏻👈🏻 Or Diavolo (tumblr asks are broke and I can’t change what I’ve written without deleting everything) 💛💛💛💛

I know you’ve already seen it because I just can’t help myself.

Angst Prompt: “There are no limits when it comes to you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

If you’d like to request a prompt, go Here

Diavolo x Female! MC x Lucifer

Rated: Mature for Themes of violence, death, gore. (nothing explicit.)

Read under the cut.

It was bound to happen, something that Diavolo realized in hindsight. The current exchange students were trapped in his palace--not against their will, but having no way to go home.

“Diavolo.” Lucifer’s voice was sharp.

“I know.” The Prince looked out the window, brimstone fire and screams. “They have betrayed me.”

A group had begun rioting against Diavolo after a rumor had reached the public. A rumor of the strongest demons in Devildom making a pact with a human. A non-magical, powerless human.

They weren’t wrong. The female exchange student had ensnared the attention of many in Diavolo’s inner circle. The Avatars of the Sins had indeed made pacts with her, she had the attention and friendship of both Angels from the Celestial realm, and she had a tentative friendship with Solomon. Her kindness and caring personality had drawn in all of them.

She offered friendship and love for all without asking anything in return. The pacts had not originally been because of even her own desire for a pact, but to help the relationship between the brothers.

His mark of a successful exchange had been notified and it had caused the people against him to retaliate.

It was late in the evening that the House of Lamentation and Purgatory Hall were attacked. No one was lost, however, the buildings were set ablaze. Cerberus had been set free against them. It was an image of horror to anyone unused to the brutality of the brothers.

The twins had been the ones to get the little human. Her face and pajamas covered in ash and soot, coughing from the smoke she had inhaled--but alive.

Lucifer had been a vision of death when he saw what had been done to his home. The home of his brothers and the grave of his sister. He showed the power he once carried as an Archangel and now showed as an Archdemon.

Those that attacked the House of Lamentation had been slaughtered. Enemies of Diavolo and the brothers were of no use.

“They nearly killed her, Dia.” The friendly name with so much anger behind it had molten eyes turning towards the Avatar of Pride. “She nearly died because of our enemies.” Lucifer nearly spat the words.

“That wrath you once held is showing again, my friend.” It was the same level of wrath that had birthed Satan. Diavolo looked towards the cracked open door. Tucked into the massive bed was the young woman, her form tucked under the silken sheets.

Their enemies did not know that it had not been only Lucifer that she’d ensnared with her kind heart, but the Demon Prince himself.

“I’ll destroy anyone that comes for my head… and anyone that comes for her, Lucifer.”

Lucifer looked to the larger demon, his scarlet gaze was still sharp, his shoulders tense. He didn't like this situation. The rebellion had been because Diavolo was making progress and because of their little human.

Both turned when they heard the tiny footsteps.

She was so small compared to the two of them. When she arrived at the palace, Simeon had healed her throat--the damage done by the smoke and ash and Barbados had brought her some clean sleepwear after sending her to a bath.

"This is because of me, isn't it?" Her voice was soft, somber. "Because of my pacts with you and the others?"

As her eyes looked to Lucifer, it was Diavolo that drew her closer. "You were just a reason in a sea of excuses to make a move, my treasure."

Diavolo's feelings for the human hadn't been sudden, they were steady since he met her. Part of him was drawn by curiosity. She wasn't like Solomon. She was normal outside of her bloodline.

He'd found excuses to see her, much to Lucifer's enjoyment. Where Diavolo allowed himself to be lost in her affection, their little cafe or study dates where she helped him or accompanied him places, Lucifer had been thrown off by her meddling in his family affairs.

She'd quickly become important to both of the men.

The warm embrace had caused her eyes to flutter shut, feeling fingers run through her hair. While Diavolo held her, Lucifer ran his fingers through her soft, sleep mused locks.

"People like them… they always look for reasons to defy someone trying to keep the peace." Lucifer spoke softly, "Your pacts to myself and my brothers scare them."

The public didn't think of the fact that they all had willingly bound themselves to the young woman. However, that is what they did. And had Diavolo not been the Prince, Lucifer expected that he would have chosen to make a pact with her as well.

As the small woman was wrapped up in the embrace of Diavolo, the men were focused outside the window, watching the fires grow closer.

Their civil war was coming closer, and they'd have to leave her.

Large warm hands drew her back, earning a confused glance from the woman. When Diavolo cupped her face in his palms, he pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. "There are no limits when it comes to you. I'll do anything to keep you safe." He paused, seeing the tears forming in her eyes.

"We will do anything to keep you safe." Lucifer corrected the man, his fingers brushed her cheek.

"Why… why does this feel like you're saying goodbye?" Her voice trembled, and the tears began falling, creating warm streams down her cheeks.

Lucifer had taken her when Diavolo released her.

"It is not a goodbye. It is a promise." His arms wrapped around her, kissing her forehead. "We will be back. You will be kept safe." Lucifer began walking her towards the bedroom.

"We love you, darling."

When the door shut, Lucifer put a charm on the door. Only they or Barbados could open it… unless they all fell.

"Lucifer! Diavolo!" Her voice grew into frantic screams as the men could see the door shaking and hear her small fists pounding on the wood.

She knew she couldn't help them, but they didn't have to trap her in here. Each hit go the door grew weaker before she was sobbing, "Please…" Her voice was begging.

"You can hate me for this." Diavolo's voice was low. "I asked Lucifer to do this when you came in." He'd take all of her anger. "I refuse to allow you near the battle. This room will be safe from everything… and it'll be opened when we return."

The Prince's eyes were hollow as he heard the weak bang of her fist on the door.

"Let's go. The sooner we clear this. The sooner we can get back." Diavolo turned, his wings out. Eyes locked on the fire before a sneer graced his features. "They want to defy me? They'll earn their damnation."

Lucifer looked to Diavolo, "She has no idea, does she?" His voice was low as his wings were out, his eyes looking at the crowd. Even for demons like them, it was only a handful of demons versus a full riot of demons of all levels.

"That she's carrying my child? No." Diavolo chuckled a bit. "My friend, should anything happen."

"Diavolo, nothing will--"

"Should something happen. I absolve you of your duty to me… and I request that you protect her… and my child. I know you love her as much as I do… but do not let yourselves fall into Grief like you did over Lilith. Help raise my child and live a good life."

"It won't come to that." Lucifer would not allow his friend to perish. Not when they had something so important in their lives. Their little human and the new life growing within her.

Lucifer was hissing low behind his teeth, Devildom was a bloodbath. Blood ran from his hairline down his face, blinding his left eye. He was unsure of how much damage there was.

His brothers were all as bloodied and exhausted as he was. The feathers upon his wings were burnt, and he wasn't sure if they'd grow back this time.

Diavolo had fallen.

The Demon Prince laid bloodied and still.

Thai wasn't how it was supposed to happen. "You foolish bastard this wasn't supposed to be your end!" Lucifer hissed at Diavolo, somewhere wishing the insult would stir him awake.

"He isn't dead." Barbados had only been able to influence things so much. He could see all and warp much, but even there was a limit to what he could do. This battle had no favorable outcomes. "However, he will not be awakened for a long time."

The way this battle turned out was the best scenario.

The Demon King, Diavolo's father, had done something similar. He'd spent a millennium asleep, getting his energy back after the Holy Wars, before he vanished, leaving Diavolo in charge.

"How long?" Lucifer's voice was tired, weak.

"Worry about that later. Go to your human." Barbados spoke in a low tone. "I believe if she hears this news from someone else, she'll be far more upset. I'll take the Prince back." Idly Barbados looked around at the carnage.

Yes. This had been the best outcome.

Barbados told himself that even when he heard the grief filled sobs from the young woman.

Fingers brushed the sleeping form of the demon, stock still and just barely warm to the touch. They were soft and prodding at his face.

"You should wake up."

"...And why is that?" When molten eyes open, the child that had climbed up onto the altar bed shrieked, falling backwards.

Still exhausted and in pain had not stopped his fast reflex, catching the child by the shirt.

Hauling the child back onto the uncomfortable Altar, Diavolo sat up. Idly thinking his father must have vanished to avoid this bed.

Bright, familiar eyes gazed at him. The familiar shade mixed with his features and hair made him smile.

His son was beautiful and everything he had imagined the day he realized his treasure was carrying.

"Papa said you might not wake up for a long time." His nose wrinkled, "But Barb always said you'd wake up when you would." The pout on the child’s lips reminded him of himself when he was a child.

Diavolo listened, a light smile gracing his features. "How about you show me to your mother and father? Because I believe I was asleep for long enough.

The child paused, "Momma said you are my dad. But so is Papa." He shrugged, as if the though was too annoying to focus on before he hopped off the bed. "Follow me! But be careful, Henry is being mean again."

Diavolo found his body aching with every step, however he followed the child through the tunnels. Henry, the giant snake, would not bother them, not with the uncontrolled energy still coming off Diavolo.

The palace still looked much the same. His portrait up in the main room, however there was an added image of Lucifer, his Treasure, and the boy in front of him.

Devildom needed a king while he was gone and Lucifer was a perfect choice.

"Dia…" A breathless voice called out in surprise.

Dressed in a comfortable dress, his Treasure was in front of him. A bit older in appearance, stronger in magic… Something he could practically taste. And against her shoulder was a young infant, the gentle motions of her bouncing the baby making him smile.

"I'm back, my Treasure." To him, she was more beautiful than the day he left her side.

#obey me diavolo #obey me fanfic #obey me #obey me lucifer #diavolo x female mc #diavolo x female mc x lucifer #obey me fanfiction #om diavolo #om lucifer #angst prompt #voltagesmutter #fic requests #prompt request

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bez09 · 4 years

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Cerberus part two

Diavolo was used to being called out at strange hours for even more stranger reasons but this time had to take the cake. Lucifer sounded so put out and he could hear the brothers shouting in the background which made the situasion all that more...laughable. Somehow M/C had worked her charm on Cerberus and said the beast was now refusing to let her go, no matter what the brothers did or how many times Lucifer threatened and ordered. Asmodeus had shared his pictures of M/C cuddling the overgrown hell hound and Diavolo had to admit, it was cute in the extreme and promptly saved the pictures to his human file on his phone with all his other pictures of M/C. He couldn’t help but admire M/C, she had taken to the demon world with stride, despite a few hiccups and near death experiences. She was also...tiny and petite, she reached half way up his chest that sometimes he was worried that if he hugged her he would accidentally snap her like a twig. He could understand why Cerberus would think she was a puppy in need of protecting. He and Barbatos waited at the door until Lucifer opened the door. The usually composed aviator of pride looked a mess and smoke rose from his coat.

“Oh. I take it you haven’t got M/C back yet?” smiled Barbatos as Diavolo tried not to laugh.

“No and it’s not helping that M/C is oblivious to the danger she is in….as usual” sighed Lucifer.

Diavolo laughed some more “Well let's go and rescue our human trouble maker”

The three demons walked down to the crypt, the brothers were surrounding the doorway, all looking burnt and worried, as they peeked in to check in on M/C.

“M/C! Stopped cuddling the mutt! And think of a way to get away from it” Mammon called out. “Mutt! Let my human go!”

A large fireball answered him, missing him by inches and smashing through the already damaged wall.

Satan smacked Mammon over the head “Stop upsetting him! M/C almost had him asleep!”

“So?”

“Idiot!” snapped Levi “If he was asleep, M/C could sneak away from it, without it attacking us!”

“It seems your repairman is going to be very busy again Lucifer” said Barbatos “Hadn’t he just finished M/C’s room again after the brother’s got into another fight?”

Lucifer decided not to give Barbatos an answer, looked into the crypt and sighed loudly. “Seriously”

Diavolo looked over Lucifer’s shoulder and smiled at the cute scene. The large hellhound was laying down, two of its three heads were resting on his paws while M/C was snuggled tightly by the third one, which she was gently petting and speaking softly too with a soft smile on her face.

Diavolo walked into the crypt with his usual confidence and smile. The awake head let out a small whimper, waking up the other two, who simply stared at the prince with slight suspicion and concern as they could sense the power coming off the demon prince. M/C noticed him, smiled and waved.

“Good evening Lord Diavolo. Sorry about this. Fluffy seems to think I’m his pup or something”

“Can you walk towards me?” Diavolo asked, crossing his arms against his chest.

“I can...but...well you’ll see” said M/C as she climbed over Cerberus’s large paws and started to walk towards the prince. She was only a meter or so in front of him when the far right head leaned over and bit her top and dragged her back and started to lick her clean.

“I see” Diavolo chuckled “But you have school tomorrow and responsibilites as well. Still I would hate to have to break the poor creature's heart. I have an idea…”

Diavolo reverted into his demonic form as a magic circle surrounded Cerberus who quickly got to his feet, giving M/C the chance to run out of it. Diavolo cast his spell and Cerberus slowly began to shrink until he was the size of a Great Dane.

“There. I’m sure…” Diavolo’s words were cut off by M/C scream as she ran over Cerberus and hugged him tightly as the hound barked, licked and jumped all over her.

“Oh my goddess! He is so cute and cuddly. We’re going to have so much fun! Yes we are!” cried M/C before she got to her feet and rushed over to Diavolo and hugged him tightly “Thank you so much!”

Diavolo felt his cheeks become warm as he patted M/C on her head “Your very welcome my dear”

“Changing his size is good and all but no one is going to be scared of him now” said Belphie as he and the others came into the chamber.

“No need to worry. Cerberus is able to change back should the need arise but right now I think he will do well as extra protection for M/C” smiled Diavolo as M/C went back to fussing over the hound.

“We’re going to need to get you a food bowl...actually we need to get you three...and three water bowls too. Plus toys, a bed, a blanket, oh I know, you can sleep with me in my bed for now”

“No way!” said Mammon “If I can’t sleep in your room, he certainly can’t”

“Being jealous of a dog Mammon? That’s a new low” said Satan with a sad shake of his head.

“For once I agree with Mammon” said Lucifer “He will be staying down here where he belongs. You may be allowed to come and spend time with him M/C when your not studying or working”

M/C looked hurt and hugged Cerberus from behind “Fine but just know, you have disappointed...all four of us”

Lucifer was a proud demon but even he could not stand up to the force of four pairs of sad puppy dog eyes.

“Fine...he can stay in your room but he’s not allowed to leave the house!”

“YES!” M/C cried as she ran up to Levi and took his hand “Come on Levi! You and I need to get on Akuzon and start ordering stuff! Come on boy!”

She went to run past Lord Diavolo but stopped and with only a moment’s hesitation jumped up and kissed the demon prince on the cheek before continuing to run out the crypt with Cerberus and Levi chasing after her.

“If he is sleeping in M/C’s room then so am I, some one has got to make sure that mutt doesn’t eat her in her sleep” said Mammon as he ran after them.

“I wonder if M/C is like this around cats?” Satan wondered as he and the other brothers followed them.

Daivolo raised a hand to his cheek as he felt the slight blush spread across his face and wondered if he would ever wash his cheek again.

Yes I used that scene from Brooklyn nine nine. Just the image of Lucifer trying to fight against the puppy look had me giggling.

Part 3

#OBEY ME #obey me shall we date #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer

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astrarchesstuff · 4 years

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An Obey Me x Fruits Basket drabble

I’m not much of a writer and I suck at writing stuff but the thought of having the Demon Brothers transform into animals, like what happens in Fruits Basket, won’t leave my mind. So I tried writing a short fic about it. Please have mercy on my writing style because I know I not so good about it *cries*

To summarize what had happened, you were supposed to be in bed right now. Waiting for the alarm to wake you up and prepare for another day of school. For some reason though, you stood in front of, apparently, the next king of hell with the six demon brothers? What? Apparently this is not a dream and is your reality.

Now, you’re stuck with an annoying white-haired brother who wont stop whining about looking after you.

“That Lucifer! Why’s it gotta be me?!” Mammon, the white-haired whining demon, says as the two of you walk down the halls of the House of Lamentation.

“Hey Human! Be sure to stay outta my way got it?! If you don’t, I’m gonna eat ya alive.” He says. It would seem to be a threat but for some reason you don’t sense fear.

You were going down from the second floor where the rooms are located when you suddenly trip on the stairs. Mammon, who is right in front of you, didn’t see it coming and you suddenly fell on top of him.

Poof!

A cloud of smoke appears out of nowhere.

“What now?” you say as you rub your head. When you look down, Mammon is nowhere to be found. Instead, you see a pile of clothes on the floor and a crow.

“What’s a crow doing here? And where’s Mammon?” you say to yourself as you stand up and fix yourself.

“Ya stupid human I’m right here!” you hear his voice. Yet, you can’t see him anywhere.

“Yo human! Look down!” you hear his voice again. Down? You look down to where the pile of clothes and the crow were. The crow is looking at you with its black eyes and you look back at it.

“Stop staring and pick up my clothes!” it suddenly yells. What? Did that crow just talk? This is a dream, right? You’re not in hell, right?

“What are ya waitin’ for?!” the crow yells again. Surely, it’s Mammon’s voice. Did Mammon just turn into a crow?

“M-Mammon is that you?” you ask as you crouch down to talk to it.

“Of course, it’s me! Now, pick up my clothes and take me ta my room before I transform back!” he yells again before another cloud of smoke appears from him. The next thing you now, there’s a naked, beet-red Mammon in front of you.

“I told ya’ to pick up my clothes!” he says as he takes his uniform to cover himself. You immediately turn around on pure instinct. At least your mind still knows what to do when that happens.

“What- what was that about?” you ask as you hear a rustling of clothes behind you. Is he wearing his clothes here on the staircase?

“Uh oh, Lucifer’s not gonna like this.” Mammon says to himself. You turn around to see a horrified Mammon behind you.

“What do you mean ‘uh oh’?” You ask. You can see, clear as day, the fear on Mammon's eyes. What exactly is happening?

"You human, this'll be the only time that I, the Great Mammon will ask ya for somethin'. Ya got that?!" Mammon places his hands on your shoulders, and they're trembling.

"Wh-what is it?" You ask. Curious as to what made Mammon act this way. He stops to think for a bit. Maybe it's a big secret that he can't just tell you. You wait for almost a minute. He takes a deep breath before looking back at you.

"Let's talk somewhere else. Don't want my brothers findin' out that I've messed up big time." He says as he goes up the stair again and walks to the direction of the rooms.

He stops in front of a door and opens it. You peek behind him to see a spacious room, quite messy, but spacious.

"Get in before anyone else sees us." He grabs your arm to get you into the room and closes the door behind him. You look around the room. You see a pool table with an empty bottle of something, a manga next to it.

"They have mangas here?" You stop to think. You shake your head and continue looking around.

The next thing you see is the car on the second floor of the room. How the hell did that get in here? Bellow it is the bed and a closet. You look to the right and see the couch and table. A game controller on top of the table. There's no television, only a white screen in front.

You find the room both amusing and shocking st the same time.

"Stop lookin' 'round and take a seat." Mammon walks into the room and sits on one of the chairs. You do as he says and sit on the couch right across Mammon.

"Just so ya' know, this is my room." He says as a matter of fact. You nod your head to say okay.

The two of you stare at each other for a moment. Not knowing what to say next but the curiosity is killing you so you say something first.

"So… about what happened?" You say. Leaving the end for Mammon to continue. He sighs and scratches his head.

"Lucifer is totally gonna kill me but we can't have you goin' around blabberin' 'bout what happened." He says.

"I'm pretty sure Lucifer's told ya 'bout who we are?" He asks you. You nod to answer his question, afraid that if you talk Mammon won't continue what he's about to say.

"I can't tell ya the whole story 'cos it'll be too long. I'll only tell ya what had happened earlier." He says. Trying to pick out the words that would come out from his mouth.

"You've met Lord Diavolo earlier and he's the most powerful demon here in the Devildom and we brothers come right after him." He starts explaining. You sight tight in your chair as Mammon leans forward and continues his story.

"But just 'cause we're powerful as well, doesn't mean we can't be cursed." He says. Just from what he's said, you still couldn't understand anything and Mammon must've seen the confusion in your face because he continues his explanation.

"Out of us brothers, Lucifer's the one who's an expert in curses but for this one, he hasn't found a way out of yet." Mammon looks at his hand and clenches it into a fist. You still look at him with a confused face and he continues his monologue.

"Look, remember the student council room? I'm sure ya' saw the picture hangin' on the wall." Mammon says. If you remember correctly, there are seven images hanging on the student council walls. Each images are a silhouette of an animal.

"Ya remember what they are?" Mammon asks you. You stop to try to remember some of it.

"I think I saw birds, a scorpion, a horse?" You try to wrack your brain to remember the rest of the images but that's all that it can remember.

"Well, at least ya remember some. Those animals are representations of each of us brothers." Mammon starts. You lean in to listen closely to his explanation.

"The first image is a peacock which is Lucifer. The second are crows which is me. Next's a serpent, that's Levi. Then a unicorn which is Satan. A scorpion, Asmo and a fly which is Beel." Mammon stops. There are seven images in that room but he's only mentioned six.

"Maybe it's a given that it's Lord Diavolo." You think to yourself.

"What happend earlier, when ya' fell on top of me. It triggrted the curse and I transformed into a crow, which is my animal representation." Mammon sighs. You try to take all the information in at once.

"If we get hugged by the opposite gender or if we get terribly sick, the curse will take into effect and we become animals. We have no idea how long the duration of the curse takes effect that's why I was panicking a lot earlier. Look what happened." Mammon scoffs. You blush a little remembering the naked Mammon standing in front of you.

"That's all I could tell ya." Mammon leans back as he finishes his story but immediately leans in again.

"If Lucifer finds out that ya know about the curse this early on I'm dead meat. So keep yer mouth shut for now, okay?" Mammon’s back to his old self. It just occurred to you that Mammon’s aura changed while he was explaining the curse earlier. You were to engrossed in listening about the curse that you didn’t notice hat the air around him changed.

"I get it, I get it. I'll keep my mouth shut." You promise him. He looks at you, still not believing what that you'll keep it a secret so you mimic the action of actually zipping your mouth.

"Good." He says as he stands and heads for the door.

"Where are we going next?" You ask him as he opens the door.

"To yer room. Tour's over for now." He says as he bobs his head to the side to tellcyou to get out of the room.

"By the way, that was my room, okay?" He says as he walks in front of you. His hands in his pockets.

The words pass by your ears as if they were nothing. The only think on your mind is the curse and your current situation. You have to make sure not to accidentally hug the brothers while not being so suspicious about it. It'll be easy obviously. What kind of idiot would hug random strangers right off the bat, right?

"Oy, we're here." Mammon is standing in front of you. Opening the door beside him.

The inside somehow reminds you of a forest cabin in fairy tales. Almost everything is made of wood or more like a live tree since it still has leaves growing from its branches. There's a table with chairs at the side. A small bookshelf with books. The bed looks comfortable with its purple blanket.

"Get goin' and get some rest human. The Great Mammon's outta fuel too. Gonna reward myself with a nap." He yawns and stretches his back as he closes the door to your room. You take a look around once again. Taking it all in. Taking your new life all in.

Wait, why are you accepting the fact that this’ll be your new life for a year? You scratch your head hard. Getting a way out of this place is almost impossible. You sigh and approach the bed to get yourself a good night’s rest, hopefully.

#Obey Me #Obey Me!#obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #Obey me fanfiction #obey me fanfic #have mercy on my poor soul

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the-church-of-murdoc · 4 years

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Isn't it bad enough that you bow to the Enemy? You also take pride in being a Jezebel? Is this the legacy we've left behind? A child of Satan, the Anti-Christ? Do you really want to destroy us so badly?

My personal life, no matter how public I make it, isn’t a reflection on you. The way I live now isn’t an attack on you. I live the way I do, because it makes me happy. But you never cared what made me happy. But we’ll get to that. I sell MYSELF, not you. I give MYSELF to people of all genders for fun. I don’t do it to spit on your “image”. Who and what I am has got SHIT to do with you and your ilk. I’ve got a naturally high libido. I’m naturally pansexual. I’m naturally polyamorous. I didn’t choose any of these things. It’s just who and what I am by NATURE. To ignore those aspects of myself would destroy me...Not that you care. Not that you EVER cared. Even my relationship with Murdoc isn’t your fault. I saw those hips thrusting in the Rock The House music video, on TV at a friend’s house(in fact...I think it was Levi’s...Funny how that works) when I was 11, and I fell in love then and there...That moment saved my life...And then, he just happened to actually walk into my life when I was 27, and that’s that. But I don’t even worship Lucifer because of him....No...THAT particular ‘quirk’ of mine IS your fault...Without the shit you did to me, I’d be an atheist, or possibly a progressive Christian...I don’t know. But I KNOW I wouldn’t be a Satanist. No...It’s because of YOU, that I saw the evil underbelly of what following Christ REALLY offers. I couldn’t see the good in it after suffering what you did to me, what you allowed to happen to me. You ARE the reason I’m a Luciferian, so...Do take credit for that.

All that out of the way...While my life and personal choices aren’t (mostly) a reflection on you, the things you did to me ABSOLUTELY are. First of all, I had virtually no freedoms because you just wanted a future Stepford Wife for some guy in the church. You had my whole life planned out FOR me, with no consideration for who I was, who I liked, or what I wanted to be. I was to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, ready to protest essentially anyone at a moment’s notice for the simple crime of not being mindless drones like the people in our church. Sure, you gave me a bike, and I had rare breaks where I was allowed at friends’ houses...But all my friends were kids from the church. I didn’t go to public school. I wasn’t allowed to watch TV, or use a computer...I didn’t even have a phone. The single source of happiness I had when I was at home, other than Eve(who really was my saving grace until she died), was that fucking kaleidoscope...which you smashed in front of me, just because I asked too many uncomfortable questions...I would spend HOURS looking through that thing to escape your bullshit, and it was such an important part of my life, I wrote a goddamn rock ballad about it. And when I was 16, you got me a car...and tracked my every fucking move. Did you know I’d leave it in the church parking lot while I went around back to smoke before dousing myself in perfume? I know you didn’t want me to die like Eve did, but you also knew I was more rebellious than her. I know you’d have tracked me anyway. But I saw that device the first day I had that car. I just let it be. Why not? It worked in my favor. I could park at church, or at the grocery store, and do anything...I’d have probably slept around just to spite you, if I hadn’t been so damaged...but we’ll get to that.

Speaking of Eve, though...You should know, she would HATE what you’ve turned her legacy into. I don’t know how to start this delicately, so I’ll just get it out of the way...She was a lesbian. She even had a girlfriend...Remember Sarah? The girl who came to the funeral...? Eve met her at the grocery store on a run for you guys...They were together for a year...Of course, Sarah pretended to be her ‘friend’ for your sake, but I knew...Eve confided everything in me, and told me all about her girlfriend. Meanwhile, she never told you who she really was, because you would have rejected her...or worse. She died without you sick bastards knowing who she really was, because you taught her to hate herself. She had to hide, and she was just waiting, like me, to run and never look back. She never got that chance...But I did. She wanted to be a writer...She wanted to tell our story to the world. She wanted to expose you, and I followed her footsteps with my own style of art. I’m the one carrying her legacy. Not you.

The rest of the things you did to me are sensitive, and I’ve talked enough about it for the fans but please...Keep reading, because you fucking need to know what I went through at YOUR hands.

But before we get into the main meat of the shit you did to me...I know you didn’t know what James was like. I know you hired him to look after me, believing he was a good man, so I don’t blame you for what he did. That is PURELY his crime...But what you did to me afterword...THAT is unforgivable. Yes, I genuinely DO hate you. I have ever since you let my molester off with a slap on the wrist. Knowing he’s back in power, in a higher position than he was when he was “punished” makes me fucking sick. He should be in prison, rotting away with no chance of escape. And I’m sure you KNOW I’m not the only victim. He’s just learned to be more careful. I guarantee that. That’s the part that kills me the most...You didn’t just prove how evil you were to me...Your actions almost certainly opened multiple kids up to his grooming...But the statute of limitations is up. There shouldn’t even BE a statute of limitations on child rape, but as is, I can’t do shit about it now...Live with that. Let the guilt burn into your souls, and rot with that in your heads forever. It’s what you deserve. It eats me alive...In fact, for all the shit you did that only really affected my sister and me, the ONLY reason I’m so public about my past...is I want to destroy him. Not you...Not even the church...Just HIM. Though, hey...If more people in the church are exposed because of me, that’s cause for celebration. I do wonder, actually...Would you be among those people? I won’t go into it, because it is pure speculation, but...looking back, there are signs...

#ask murdoc #Declan Chambers #potential tw #csa tw #csa trigger warning #rape tw #rape trigger warning

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casuallydeliciousphilosopher · 5 years

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Things That Go Bump In The Night Pt. 1 of 2

This is my contribution to the @thedeckerstarnetwork Helloween Gift Exchange! I wrote this for @missielynne and my original prompt was the beach, blue, and vampire. But, missielynne gave me the option to go off track and come up with whatever sparked my fancy! I did keep the vampire element though! :D

This fic is rated T for graphic depictions of violence. It has established Deckerstar, established Laze, and established Dan/Charlotte (they deserve to be happy, sue me). Set sometime after the season three finale, where all involved parties are ‘in the know’.

@missielynne I hope you enjoy your gift! I just wish that I had just a little more time to put into this (but alas, school has killed me this semester). I’ll have part two up by tomorrow at the very latest, sorry for the minor cliffhanger, but I promise you won’t have to wait long!

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Chloe drew in a deep breath of the crisp autumn air as she stepped out of the Corvette, the slight breeze sending fallen leaves and straws of hay skittering past her feet. She glanced over her shoulder when she heard the solid thud of Lucifer closing the driver’s side door of the car, watching as he fished a cigarette and a lighter out of his pockets with ease.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to light up here?” She asked curiously as she gestured to the ground and the thick layer of hay that resided there.

“Are you applying for the role of fire commissioner?” Lucifer chuckled before placing it between his lips. Chloe rolled her eyes at his quip, but before she could begin to think of a fitting retort a white SUV was pulling up beside her. She didn’t have to look twice to know that it was Dan, Charlotte, and Trixie. Right on time. Now if only she knew when Maze and Linda would show up.

“Hey, Chlo.” Dan greeted her as he got out of the car, shooting her a smile that she quickly returned.

“Morning, Dan,” She quickly replied, watching as he pulled the rear door open, letting Trixie rush out of the car in a jumble of frizzy curls and gappy teeth.

“Mommy!” The screech of her title came just before her daughter collided into her legs, pulling a huff of breathless laughter from her as she bent down to pull her daughter closer.

“Hey there monkey.” Chloe murmured into her daughter's hair, pulling back slightly and taking in the girl’s appearance as she asked, “How was your weekend?”

“Good.” She answered happily, glancing over at her dad before she quickly added, “Charlotte helped me make Halloween cookies!”

“Did she?” Chloe asked curiously, offering Dan’s girlfriend a smile as the tall blonde walked around the front of the car before winding an arm around Dan’s back.

“They’re in the car,” Charlotte explained as Chloe righted herself, stepping forward to give the taller woman a quick hug.

“Thank you.” Chloe breathed as she pulled away, she had to admit that even though she felt a little guilty for not being there to help she was glad that at least Charlotte had been there for her daughter while she put in hours on overtime, chasing down leads that all turned into cold cases. This October had been particularly bad for missing people and what seemed to be homicides, if the massive pools of blood at the scenes were anything to go by.

“Lucifer!” Her daughter's bright peal of the fallen angel's name drew her mind from her work as she watched the girl fling her arms around his waist, jostling him hard enough to make him lose grip on the cigarette in his hand. The glowing stub fell into the thick layer of hay, quickly catching onto the dry straws as orange blue tongues of flame quickly lapped up. Chloe tensed as she watched him quickly snuff out the growing flames with his shoe, a thin trail of smoke trailing up from the smoldering ashes.

Before Chloe could even open her mouth to scold him, a shiny charcoal sports car pulled up on the other side of the Corvette before quickly cutting the engine. “Who said you could commit arson without me?” Mazikeen’s voice rang out as she stepped out of the car, earning a long-suffering sigh from the devil as his shoulders slumped slightly.

“Very funny, Mazikeen.” The retort was dry, humorless, and for the hundredth time this week Chloe wondered what exactly had been weighing on his shoulders. He wasn’t his usual cheery self; he was stressed, aloof, tired. Something was wrong, but every time she asked he claimed that things had just been taking their toll recently. Chloe wasn’t sure whether or not she should believe him.

“So, who’s ready for pumpkins?” Linda’s bright and cheery voice broke the quiet as she got out of the sports car and clapped her hands together, quickly easing the tense situation away as though it hadn’t existed in the first place.

“I am!” Trixie shouted happily, drawing a strangled laugh from her mother as the woman shook her head softly. It seemed as though this would be the new normal for Halloween’s from now on.

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“So, how true are all of the Halloween myths?” Dan’s curious voice broke the content quiet with ease as the small band of friends slowly picked their way through the vast field dotted with bright orange pumpkins.

“Which ones?” Lucifer chuckled, a smirk filling his face as he stared down at the shorter man.

“The ones about monsters.” He elaborated, a playful twinkle in his eye as he quickly looked the taller man over.

“And demons,” Linda chimed in a moment later, wrapping her arms around Maze’s waist, earning a soft hum of appreciation from the demon.

“And the devil coming out to play,” Chloe chuckled, nudging her boyfriend with her elbow and earning a wide grin from him.

“The devil has been out to play for a while.” He purred playfully, his voice sending a delightful wave of goosebumps prickling along her skin.

“Monsters are demons, just reduced to human terms and descriptions.” Maze explained after a short beat of silence, and the group came to a stop around her.

“Werewolves?” Charlotte questioned curiously.

“A kind of demon.” Lucifer supplied simply.

“Vampires?” Linda asked as she released her hold on Maze’s waist.

“Another kind of demon.” The demon answered as she reached down and took the blonde’s hand in her own.

“Zombies?” Trixie’s bright voice inquired as the child practically bounced around the adults.

“A product of the human imagination.” Lucifer chuckled as he started forward, spurring the rest of the group back into motion.

“Is the veil really thinner on Halloween?” Charlotte asked.

“Yes, actually.” The devil answered, “Though not very much so. Only the really strong ones can get through.”

“And if they don’t get back over in time, then it’s game over,” Maze added, taking a finger to her throat and making a slicing motion. Chloe shivered slightly at the implications of the gesture, willing herself not to think too much about it. She was still trying to come to terms with dating satan himself.

“So how are you two here year round?” Dan questioned, quirking a brow.

“I’m an angel, Daniel.” Lucifer scoffed, “I’m not reduced to any of the rules that pertain to demons.”

“What about Maze though?”

“I’m one of the powerful ones.” The demon in question answered. “And Lucifer’s angel magic keeps the veil open for me. I’m sworn to him, I’m allowed wherever he is.”

“You’re sworn to Lucifer?” Linda asked curiously, something that sounded like jealousy spiking in the woman’s voice.

“In service.” Lucifer clarified a half-second later. “The servant of an angel can only be an effective asset if allowed the same jurisdiction over an area as said angel.” He paused for a long moment, letting out a soft chuckle before quietly murmuring, “I don’t think Dad ever expected a demon to serve an angel, though.”

“So you just have a demon swear their services to you and suddenly they can come topside whenever they want?” Dan pressed, earning a scoff from the devil.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Daniel. I’m only allowed one at a time, and I can’t appoint another until the current one dies.” Lucifer clarified, nudging the man in the side with his elbow before conspiratorially adding; “And if I’m being honest, we all know that Maze will outlive even me.” His quip managed to draw a few chuckles from the group.

“Mommy, I found one!” Trixie’s bright voice drew the adults from their conversation as they turned to glance at the child as she crouched next to a massive pumpkin lying in the dirt.

“That’s a big one baby,” Chloe stated as she bent down beside her daughter, carefully brushing some dirt from the side of the pumpkin. “What are you going to carve in it?”

“A black cat! Or a witch!” She exclaimed happily as Dan retrieved a pocket knife from his jacket and quickly sawed through the thick stem. “Or Maze!” The girl's voice grew even more excited as she smiled at her favorite demon. “And then you could carve Lucifer!” Chloe forced herself not to snort at the mental image. It wasn’t as though her boyfriend needed any more reason to be cocky.

Maze stepped forward as soon as Dan bent down to pick up the behemoth of a pumpkin, scooping it up as though it weighed nothing. “I’ve got this.”

“Maze, you don’t have to.” The man protested quietly, trying to take the squash back as Maze batted his hands away.

“Hush, I’m trying to impress my girlfriend.” Maze quietly whispered under her breath, and Chloe grinned at the statement, watching as Dan only nodded mutely as he lifted his hands in mock surrender.

“So, is there even a point to Halloween?” Linda asked curiously, glancing between the two hellions.

“No,” Lucifer answered simply. “You humans and your odd traditions are mostly meaningless.” He chuckled, quickly adding; “Not that I’m going to complain about Halloween. It’s one of my favorite ones.”

The small group didn’t manage to get more than a dozen paces before Trixie’s bright voice was ringing through the air once more, “Dad! Can we go to the corn maze?”

“I haven’t picked my pumpkin yet, monkey.” The girl's shoulders slumped slightly at the statement, a soft huff of disappointment escaping her tiny frame.

“I could take her,” Charlotte offered a moment later, and the child perked back up immediately.

“Are you sure?” Dan asked, earning a quick nod from his girlfriend.

“Of course,” She answered, quickly placing a kiss against his cheek before continuing, “Go pick your pumpkin.” She turned to the girl a moment later, holding her hand out as she playfully asked, “We need more girl time anyways, don’t we?”

Chloe watched as the two linked hands before quickly making their way over to the maze across the field. A small spark of jealousy threatened to flare up, but she quickly pushed it irrational emotion away. Charlotte wasn’t replacing her, and Trixie deserved to have a good relationship with the woman who would likely be her stepmom one day.

As soon as the two forms disappeared into the mouth of the maze, Linda shot Dan a sly smile. “So, when are you going to propose to her?” The doctor questioned almost conspiratorially.

“What?” Dan chuckled. Shaking his head as he stammered over himself, “I don’t - I’m not -”

“Daniel,” Linda pressed, a no-nonsense tone taking up residence in her voice.

Dan let out a soft sigh, running a hand through his hair as he quickly dropped the charade and admitted, “I was thinking around Christmas time…”

His admission drew a wide smile from the doctor, and Chloe had to admit that she was a little surprised at how quickly their relationship was moving. Though to be fair, her relationship with Lucifer had been moving at roughly the same speed. Linda coughed exaggeratedly before nudging Lucifer with her elbow, earning an eye roll and a chuckle from the devil. “How subtle, doctor.” He admonished playfully,

“I’m just saying, you’re not getting any younger.” Linda stage-whispered, and Chloe couldn’t help the blush that spread across her cheeks at the thought of her devilish boyfriend proposing to her.

“I’m also not getting any older.” Lucifer replied, gesturing to himself as he added, “Immortal. Remember?”

Linda fell silent at that for a long moment, finding her voice after a drawn-out pause. “That does beg the question, what’s going to happen with you two when...well, when you get old?” She directed the last half of the question to Chloe, and she faltered under the woman’s knowing gaze.

It was a question that she’d been trying to avoid. The thought of the inevitable. The biggest roadblock standing in the way of the relationship that she had with her boyfriend. “I - um…”

Thankfully, Lucifer answered for her. “Chloe will go to heaven.”

“And you?” Linda pressed, her eyebrows drawing together as she asked,

“Well, either father will let me back in, or I’ll have to start a war. Besides, the place could use new management.” He answered simply. As though starting a war between heaven and hell was the simplest thing. “Don’t you think?” He asked, directing the question at Maze who gave him a demonic grin that sent a small wave of shivers down Chloe’s spine.

“New management would be good.” She purred, something dark and promising violence sparking in her eyes.

“Dude. You’re talking about overthrowing God.” Dan deadpanned, giving the two hellions a stern look as he continued, “Isn’t that like...the stuff of apocalypses?”

“It would be, if I actually had any intention of causing humans harm,” Lucifer answered, waving his hand through the air as though he could wave Dan’s question away. “What’s the saying, live and let live?”

Chloe worried her lower lip between her teeth as she quickly focused on a nearby pumpkin, crouching down beside it as she easily pulled the subject away from her death and a possible apocalyptic war. “Hey, I found my pumpkin!”

Lucifer bent down beside her, holding one of his hands out as she quietly ordered, “Mazikeen.” A moment later, a shiny black demon blade was being placed in his outstretched hand, before he made quick work of the pumpkins stem, slicing through it with ease.

Before either of them could right themselves, Charlotte’s voice was ringing across the field, “Dan! Chloe!” The desperation in her tone was enough to send the detective’s senses on high-alert, but it was the next words out of the woman’s mouth that made her blood run cold. “It’s Trixie!”

“What’s wrong?” Chloe questioned as she stood up, and if it wasn’t for the hand Lucifer wrapped around her forearm she would already be sprinting towards the woman.

“I lost her in the corn maze, I’m so sorry,” Charlotte explained breathlessly as she came to a stop before the small group. “One second she was right next to me, and the next she was just gone!” Chloe could hear the near hysterics in her voice, and it only made her try to pull free from Lucifer’s grip. “I can’t find her anywhere!” It was like a nightmarish re-run of when Malcolm had taken her baby, and it sent her heart skittering in her chest.

“I’ll find her.” Maze spoke up, quickly placing the massive pumpkin in her arms on the ground before stalking towards the corn maze with determined strides. “Child’s play.” The demon threw over her shoulder confidently as Chloe tried to pry Lucifer’s fingers from her arm.

“Darling.” He spoke up gently, soothing a hand over hers. “Give Maze a chance, she’s one of the best trackers I know.” The statement didn’t help her nerves at all, she knew that Maze was the best, but she still wouldn’t feel alright until she had her daughter back in her arms. “She’ll find your little offspring in no time.” Chloe wanted to protest, but she knew that he did have a point. Maze was otherworldly, and there was no way that she wouldn’t find her daughter...right?

Every second that ticked by seemed to be its own short eternity. And with every passing minute, even Lucifer seemed to grow more and more antsy. Maze came crashing through the side of the corn maze after a few minutes, but the sight Chloe was greeted with only sent her nerves racing under skin stronger than ever. Maze’s hair was a wild mess, and her eyes even seemed to be sparked with worry, but it was the words out of her mouth that almost made Chloe’s world stop spinning. “Lucifer, we have a problem.”

Chloe was frozen in place as her boyfriend cursed under his breath, quickly making his way over to the demon with determined strides. Chloe’s mind finally kickstarted itself a moment later, every single one of her synapses going into overdrive as she sprinted towards the two of them. “What’s wrong?” She questioned, doing her best to keep the hysterics from her voice as she followed after Lucifer and Maze as they stepped into the corn maze. “Where’s my daughter?” She pressed, barely even aware of Dan, Charlotte, and Linda following after them.

“I found her last spot.” Maze supplied, but the vague answer did nothing to soothe the distraught mother.

“And?” Lucifer questioned, his voice as business as he easily pushed thick stalks of corn out of his way.

“And traces of demonic activity.” Maze answered, pulling another string of muffled curses from the devil as he pressed forward. “Probably the same ones you’ve been keeping an eye on for a while.”

The simple statement made Chloe falter, Lucifer knew there were other demons around? “You’ve been keeping an eye out on some demonic activity for a while, and you never thought to tell me?” She questioned, the pitch of her voice rising slightly with each word. He should have told her. Why didn’t he tell her?

“Darling, I didn’t want to worry you with it. I doubted that they would do anything, especially to me or mine.” Lucifer explained, but it was a poor defense when her daughter was missing...stolen away by demons. “This is...unorthodox.” He muttered to himself before quickly adding, “If I had thought that anything might come of it I would have told you.”

Chloe opened her mouth to protest that he should have told her regardless, but Maze beat her to it as they stopped in the middle of one of the maze’s corridors. “This is the spot.” The demon stated, and Chloe quickly looked around, finding nothing out of the ordinary. “There were three of them.” Maze added, and another icy chill seeped through the detective’s body.

Chloe watched as Lucifer crouched down, quickly drawing some foreign symbols in the loose dirt under his feet before pressing his hand against one of them. The symbols glowed a blinding white for a moment, and then the light seemed to sweep out in every direction, pouring against the ground and illuminating several inhuman footprints, the shoe prints left by her daughters light-up sketchers, and a few puddles of something staining the dirt. “Oh, bloody hell,” Lucifer muttered under his breath, running a hand across his stubble as he blew out a long, harsh breath.

“Life drainers.” Maze whispered, and the name only served to stir up more unease in the detective.

“What?” She pressed, her voice nearly reaching hysterics at the thought of something called a life drainer having its filthy hands on her girl.

“Vampires.” Lucifer clarified a moment later. “Or at least...what you humans call vampires.”

“Are you saying that a group of vampires has my baby?” Chloe questioned, and for a moment she swore that she was going to start hyperventilating. Why would they take her daughter? Where would they take her? What was the point of this?

“How do we get her back?” Dan asked, having fallen into full-on cop mode as he stared down at the devil.

“Maze does some searching, I go back to Lux and dig through some of my older books, try to see if I can figure out how to locate them,” Lucifer explained as he stood up, brushing his shoe through one of the elaborate symbols in the dirt, immediately causing the otherworldly light seeping up from the footprints to disappear. “We will find her.”

“And then I’ll kill the bastards that had the nerve to take her.” Maze growled darkly, and the promising threat of violence in her tone sent a shiver down her spine as she stared at the ground.

Lucifer must have thought that her shiver had to do with something else, because he quickly stepped forward, resting his hands on her shoulders as he spoke up, “Darling, she’ll be alright.”

“How do you know that Lucifer?” Chloe questioned, tears welling up in her eyes as she shook her head. Vampires had her baby girl, and she was just supposed to believe that she was going to be alright because Lucifer said so? For all he knew they could have already hurt her...or worse.

“Because they usually don’t go after children. There’s no point, not even a full meals worth of blood in there.” Chloe shivered at the blunt honesty in the statement. “They must want her for something else…” He muttered softly, glaring at the soil beneath his feet before Mazikeen’s voice broke the heavy silence.

“A summoning ritual?” Lucifer nodded at her question, and Chloe wondered whether or not she should even ask what a summoning ritual was.

“On Halloween…” The devil added quietly, something calculating taking up residence in his expression as he turned to face his right-hand demon. “We have four days, Mazikeen.” Lucifer’s voice held a steely note as he spoke, and Chloe couldn’t help but dwell on the fact that four days wasn’t a very long time to track down a group of vampires. “Get to work.” Maze nodded once at his order, turning and grabbing Linda’s hand before dragging the other woman away from the group without another word. “We’re going home,” Lucifer stated, his tone leaving no room for argument as he wrapped a hand around Chloe’s forearm and started after Maze and Linda.

“And what are we supposed to do?” Dan questioned, a hint of anger and desperation in his voice.

“Stay out of our way while we hunt them down,” Lucifer answered. “You’re human, you won’t do any good here,” Dan said something else in protest after that, but she wasn’t able to pick up what. Some small part of her recognized that she was going into shock, and Lucifer seemed to notice it too as he ran warm, reassuring hands up and down her arms.

“Everything is going to be fine, Detective.” He murmured, and Chloe nodded mutely even though she had a very bad feeling that nothing may ever be fine again. “I promise,” Lucifer added a moment later, and that helped to soothe her at least a little bit. He didn’t lie. Especially not to her. Maze was already working on it, and she knew that as soon as he dropped her off at home and made sure she would be alright without him that he would join the chase.

Regardless of all of that though, some small part of her felt like there was no way this could get any worse. Her daughter was missing. And her life was at stake.

#the deckerstar network #deckerstar helloween fic exchange #helloween fic exchange #missielynne #deckerstar fanfiction #lucifer fanfiction #deckerstar ff #lucifer ff #lucifer on netflix #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #mazikeen #linda #Daniel Espinoza #charlotte richards #laze #otp: waffles #my fic

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leeholtwrites · 6 years

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Short Story: A Dying Problem

I was digging through my computer files out of procrastination, and came across a kind of embarrassingly silly story I wrote in college. I actually think I wrote it my freshman year, circa 2007-2008, but it says 2010. Probably the last time I did some editing. I don’t remember. I’m still surprised I have it.

I’m posting it here for you just to show we all have to start somewhere, even though I’d already had years of writing experience by this point, it is still pretty unrefined. Hadn’t quite found my voice yet.

So enjoy this silly little story about an old lady kicking Death’s ass.

A Dying Problem

It was a beautiful day, as always, with the constantly blue skies and the never ending greenness of the grass as the pale Mustang wove along the perfect stretch of black asphalt that cut through the field to glittering skyscraper smack in the center of it all. Everyday the Mustang took the same route from the mansion to the skyscraper and everyday it always looked the same, except for the minor changes that always took place to keep up with the times. Take the asphalt road for example. It used to be cobblestone before this wonderful sleek stretch that existed now, and before that dirt. Before the invention of cars the Mustang used to be a mustang, with no exact color, just pale. Although sometimes people would mistake it for other light shades of actual colors, but that was only when the sun hit the car at the right angles changing the shade.

Eventually the car and its occupant pulled into the reserved spot – the only parking spot – just for them in front of the skyscraper. A tall, imposing, but handsome man exited the Mustang with his expensive Italian leather brief case in one hand and the black Rolex he always wore on the opposite wrist. He never bothered looking at that watch as he stepped through the revolving doors into the lobby. He always arrived the same time everyday. He pressed the elevator button and waited for it while he inspected his impeccable dark hair in the doors to the shaft with his bright hazel eyes, like always. It was a habit he had acquired as time went on, and now it was a necessity. The doors opened with a ding and he stepped in.

“Good morning Mr. Reaper,” was the first thing he heard when he stepped out of the elevator onto the top floor. It was always the first thing he heard. The greetings continued as he headed past the rows of cubicles and offices until he reached a pair of monstrous black doors which had remained open since time began.

“Hello Miss Scarlet. Are their any messages for me this morning?” Mr. Reaper asked, as always.

The secretary glanced up at him. Despite the fact that she had died at the age of ninety, Jamie Scarlet looked to be in her prime. Everyone in Purgatory looked to be in their prime. “Yes sir,” she responded as she sorted through a stack of pink sticky notes. “Lucifer wishes to visit you later this afternoon for lunch, and to give you back your lighter. A new reaper has killed someone for their soul, and the board needs your help to sort through the problem. There is a board meeting this afternoon.”

Mr. Reaper took the notes from her with a smile. “Thank you Miss Scarlet. Don’t know what I would do without you.”

“You would have to look at your own e-mail sir.”

He chuckled and walked into his pale and black office where he placed his brief case on his large desk behind a heavy black marble name plate with huge capital letters that spelt: DEATH. He plopped down into his ergonomically designed chair and turned on his computer. Such a wonderful thing was this computer, no longer did he have to look through worn out tomes all day to make sure that the deaths had gone according to plan, or at least the ones that he was concerned with. There were too many in the world everyday for him to go through all of them.

The first thing he would look into was this problem with one of the “reapers.” They were the employees that went out to collect the souls of the dead or dying and had to enter their collections with an area office everyday. Then the area office sent it through special computers to the main office here in purgatory. These “reapers” remained on Earth till it was time for them to move on just like everyone else in the random selection process. Of course the collections weren’t the souls themselves, just a file that contained the list of souls that the reaper was in charge of that day. All the files were then sent throughout the building where many other souls in cubicles entered them into the computer by how they died and last thought. Although it was more complicated then this, but nobody really cared to think about it. After all, it was pretty much routine.

Today this problematic reaper was somewhere in LA trying to do his job; although, it was only his second day. After looking at the first day, Death decided that perhaps he should talk to him personally. In a cloud of gray smoke he disappeared, and then reappeared next to his new employee.

“Hello there.”

The former gang member nearly orbited the moon. “Jeez slick, where you come from? Tryin’ to get jumped? Believe me, wearin’ that suit you are.”

Death watched as the young man tilted his shoulders back to give him a good look, forming a cocky smile on his face. He knew that just by the way he was greeted this employee has no idea who he was. “Excuse me, but is that anyway to greet your boss?”

“Boss, ha. I don’t need no boss. I’m death, ya see old man.”

Mr. Reaper smiled. “No, your just a reaper, I’m Death, and I’m here to tell you that your doing your job all wrong. Reapers aren’t supposed to kill for their souls, their supposed to wait till their client dies or until their about to die, especially if it’s a violent death, before taking their souls. Do you understand me?”

The young gangster just stared at him for a moment, the look on his face showing how unsettled he was, but it was only for a moment. Quickly regaining his composure he folded his arms as that cocky grin reappeared on his face. “So ya might be just like me, but how do I know if you’re the Grim Reaper himself? You could just be screwin’ with me.”

A smile spread across Death’s face. In only an instant the new employee got a glimpse of the Grim Reaper’s famous image, and one of his favorites. The young man nearly wet himself when he saw it and had to blink a couple times just to make sure that he just didn’t imagine it. “Shit! You really are him!”

“Now, now. We don’t encourage profanities.”

“Yes sir,” the young man replied humbled.

It was then that Death knew that he would have no more problems with this particular employee, but there was one more thing he had to handle. “Now you understand that there will be no more killing of clients?”

“Yes sir.”

“Then hand me the gun.”

Without a question the gun was handed over from its original place in the band of the young man’s pants to Mr. Reaper’s hand where it turned to dust immediately to his employee’s surprise. After wiping his hands off with a handkerchief pulled from his inner coat pocket, Death disappeared.

Lunch with Lucifer was the same as usual. They chatted about the good old days before the former angel’s fall and then his unholiness asked for another lighter because he said that he had lost the last one he had borrowed from Death. He always lost the last one he had borrowed. For some reason it seemed to Mr. Reaper that it was really hard to keep the fires of hell lit, or that was what Lucifer always told him. Of course, since he was the Father of Lies, Death never believed him anyway. He just gave him the lighter, one of many he kept in drawer just for these kinds of occasions.

After lunch he headed off to his board meeting where he sat at the head of a long mahogany table riddled with chairs and many interesting people. These only happened when there was a special case death that he had to take care of, or one coming up in the future. He loved progress because it made his job so much easier. No longer did he have to deal with everybody as it was in the early days. That’s what his employees were for.

“We have a very, very special case today Mr. Reaper,” the man sitting on his right told him the moment everyone took their seats.

“How truly special is it Mr. Jefferson?” he couldn’t help but ask. To him special cases were just like normal ones because he had been doing this job so long he had pretty much become an expert at getting his souls. The only thing he hadn’t figured out was the random selection that was used to replace his employees as they moved on to heaven, or if Satan got a hold of them, hell. Perhaps that was God’s doing, but he never asked.

“Lets just say that this is a first,” answered the third president of the United States, a perfect example of this random selection system, of course few would recognize him today looking as if in his late twenties and in modern fashion. Even with being placed in such a good position, it had been over two hundred years and now he just wanted to move on.

“A first you say! This has never happened before,” blurted out Joel Camden, a former paper pusher accountant, and nobody. “The old bat escaped death twice!” He also wasn’t very smart.

Everyone at the table stared at Camden before nodding slowly in compliance. Jefferson just rolled his eyes. “That is pretty much it.”

“Wow, that really is new,” Death responded mildly shocked. “So what do I have to do to handle this? Scare her soul out of her.”

“Unfortunately it isn’t that simple. You’re going to have to kill her,” the ex-president responded.

“She’s too mean to let it go,” Mr. Marshals informed him. “So you’ll have to force it out of her. I know our policy, but this is the only way around the problem.”

“Have you tried talking to the Almighty One about this?”

“He said handle it yourself,” Jack Monroe responded, the former electrician that was now in charge of Heavenly Communication.

Death sat there and mulled the situation over for a moment. The only times he had to kill anyone was either to protect himself or to stop one of Satan’s minions from taking the soul from him, and that technically wasn’t killing anyone since demons weren’t living to begin with.

“Well,” he began as he rose slowly from his seat, “I shall handle this and I thank you all for letting me know before she escaped death a third time. I shall check in with you when the dirty business is complete,” and he left leaving them all in their seats with out another word.

With a puff of his usual gray smoke Death appeared on the sidewalk in front of a beautifully taken care of Victorian style house in pale yellow. The green lawn greeted him as the tree branches seemed to welcome him up the walk to the porch of this lovely establishment. He had hopes that with a place this nice the old lady wasn’t too mean to give up the ghost, but who knew. How did that old adage go? You can’t judge a book by its cover? Well in this situation it was more like the shelf it sits on.

With a broad grin across his face, Death rang the door bell. It wasn’t long till he saw the light seeping through the peep hole disappear for a moment and heard the dead bolt unlock. The door opened and green eye in a wrinkled socket appeared just below the security chain still holding the door partially closed.

“I don’t want whatever you’re selling. Now get off my property before I sick my dog on you,” a gruff, aged voice commanded.

Death merely smiled. “I am not a salesman as you so presume madam. I am Death, and I have come for your soul.”

The door closed for a moment before reopening without the security chain. “Ha,” she laughed as held open the door fully. “You, Death,” she scoffed, “You look more like some greasy lawyer than the Grim Reaper himself. If you are really him, prove it.”

Death reached into his inner coat pocket, the one opposite of the handkerchief, and produced a black business card with white lettering spelling DEATH in the center of it. He handed it to her.

“This doesn’t mean anything!” she said as she held it in her fingers, “You could have these made anywhere.” Irritated, she flicked it back at him, but it only disintegrated into dust in midair. “What was that? Some stupid parlor trick? Get the hell off my property now!”

“Now madam, I really don’t want to go to extremes with you,” Death replied once he realized that this wouldn’t be as easy as he thought. “Just give up your soul and we can move on peacefully. You have already passed your expiration date once.”

“Vinny! Sick ‘em!”

“Vinny?” Mr. Reaper replied in confusion before he saw the yapping little monster that emerged from behind the door. “Oh Lord. I hate dogs,” he muttered before he ran from the door and down the path to the sidewalk in his shiny Armani shoes. Once he hit the street he disappeared in a forward moving puff of smoke that ended up looking more like a streak. He reappeared back in his office just in front of his desk where he smashed straight into it before his face met the surface.

Across the street in front of the pale yellow Victorian house sat a pale Mustang. It had been there the rest of the afternoon and into the evening with its occupant watching the house closely. It seemed he was spying on the old woman, trying to learn her habits, but that wasn’t the truth. Death just needed to think. He didn’t want to make her death too violent and he didn’t want her to suffer. Maybe he could blow her house up with a gas leak. No, that was too messy.

“For someone who deals with death, I sure don’t know much about killing someone,” he whispered to himself. “Why do I have to do this?” Death already knew the answers to that, but he felt like complaining. He wanted God to know he didn’t like this dirty business.

Decided that sitting in his car and whining wasn’t doing the job for him, he got out and popped the trunk. Mr. Reaper had decided that maybe he should at least try and kill her in her sleep before pulling her soul out – a particularly painful experience when someone was still alive. Reaching into his trunk he pulled out a scythe with a collapsible handle. After straightening it out and screwing the pieces together, he closed the trunk and headed across the street, but the moment he reached the porch he stopped. What about the dog?

It didn’t take long till he decided that he wouldn’t worry about the dog and just wing it.

Using one of his special abilities, he passed through the door and began to venture through the house without making a sound. He could be undetectable to humans, but the other problem with pets is that they could sense the supernatural. At least she had a dog instead of a cat, otherwise he probably would have already been found out.

The layout of the house wasn’t too complicated and it wasn’t too long till he had gotten his bearings. After passing through the first floor he headed up the moonlit stairs to the next story. She had to be in one of the rooms up here since he hadn’t seen her leave the house all day and she wasn’t down stairs. The first door open was the guest room, then the bathroom before he had to open a door himself, which ended up being a closet. Gripping the handle on the scythe tightly he made his way to the door at the end of the hall. She had to be there, asleep hopefully. He peeked in the partially open door only to see a used and empty bed.

“Where in the name of hell is that woman?” he muttered to himself in confusion.

He pushed open the door, but that ended up being a mistake. Waiting for him on the other side was the old woman – with a shotgun. Even though Death couldn’t die, he could still feel pain.

“Thought you would break into my house this time you sleazebag?! You’re going to be sorry!” she shouted as she cocked her old double barreled shotgun.

It didn’t take much mental processing until he had spun around and ran down the hall nearly tripping over the yapping monster Vinny. He turned the corner and ran down the stairs just as bird shot blew apart the wall. Death could hear her cocking the weapon again as she followed him to his destination known as out of the house. “Good Lord she runs fast for and old crony,” he breathed.

Mr. Reaper leaped over the couch, made a left, and there the door was just waiting for him, if only he could make it before she caught up with him. That didn’t happen. She pulled the trigger again and bird shot littered his back, making him grunt in pain, but that didn’t stop him. He passed through the door, removing the shot from his back, and ran to the Mustang. Tossing the scythe through the window he dove in after it as the car drove off.

The ceiling of his office wasn’t very interesting as he found out the next day. Mr. Reaper had just gotten back, changed suits, and lay on his desk to think about the troublesome situation. He didn’t know how long he had been there resting his head on the keyboard with the endless rows of blinking js continuing along the screen. He shifted his head to look mournfully at his destroyed black Armani suit. There were better suits he owned that were hand crafted and not designer, but it still had been one of his favorites.

It seemed now he had to bring out the big guns and stop playing it easy. That meant black hooded cloak and all. He hated feeling like and assassin or some secret government operative that had to kill a threat to national security – only he wasn’t getting paid.

Sighing, Death lifted his head from the keyboard and his body from the large desk before moving over to a dust covered cabinet against one of the walls. He hadn’t had to use his robe since The Second World War when Conquest, War, and Famine got bored and he had to put them in line. He was the most powerful horseman and Death did end all things eventually. He also helped to arrange the elimination of Hitler, but it was more of team effort, so he really couldn’t take all the credit.

There he stood staring at the double doors on the cabinet in his chocolate brown suit with his immaculate hair. Perhaps this might end up being a little overkill, but whatever. With another sigh he grabbed the knobs on the doors and slowly opened them. There hung the infamous black robe as ageless as the first day he wore it millennia ago. All he had to do was reach out and touch it. The fabric wrapped itself around his body like a tangible shadow before it lets itself drape elegantly over his form. Death grabbed the scythe, the one he was known for, and strung it around his shoulders by the worn leather strap attached to it.

Full of new confidence he marched right out of his office and was stopped by Jamie Scarlet. She sat there reading a volume of the Darwin awards with her hand on his arm.

“The front desk says there is a messenger coming up with a message from an archangel for you. He should be here,” she looked up, “shortly.”

Sure enough a young man walked through the double doors and handed Miss Scarlet the message. “Hey grandma. You reading what I did, huh?”

“Duck taping you feet to a skateboard with tampered fireworks attached to it was not smart, especially when you decide to ride your contraption on a crowded street.”

“I know, but I have to get back to work. I’ve got a message for Satan. Bye grandma,” and finally noticing the Grim Reaper standing there, “hi Death.” Then the kid was gone.

“Family. That’s rare. Usually families never end up in purgatory together, especially if they’re that closely related.”

“Interesting,” Miss Scarlet responded with her usual disinterest. “Here’s the message as promised.”

Mr. Reaper took the piece of stiff, stark white paper and unfolded it as he watched Miss Scarlet go back to her reading. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the messaged that was typed out on the card stock. It said:

Heard about your problem. Want to use my sword?

Michael

With a smile he crumpled up the note and threw it in the wire trash bin. “Send him and e-mail and tell him thanks, but I have my own.”

Death stood on the sidewalk opposite of the yellow Victorian house in which the evil old woman lived. To the average passer by he would seem to be a kid with a ball cap pulled over his face and a guitar on his back. Even then he was entirely inconspicuous. Death always was. Silently he waited while periodically looking at his black Rolex. It wasn’t common for him to be in a hurry, but sunset seemed to be setting a little later this evening than usual. He wondered if God was screwing with him.

Eventually sunset finally came and he made his way across the street without a sound as he passed in the shadows between street lights. Pulling his scythe off his back he passed through the front door. Considering the yapping that was coming from the back yard he figured that her little beast wasn’t in the house. That meant that he wouldn’t have to worry about being found out until he found his mark. With a wicked grin he stalked through the house.

Again she wasn’t on the first floor of the house, so now it was time to ascend the stairs a second time. Then the grin disappeared. Death caught him self thinking about the previous disaster with the shotgun and had to remind himself that bullets couldn’t pass through the cloak he was currently wearing. Still, he had that ominous feeling of disaster resting on his shoulders.

He stopped. Now wasn’t the time doubt him self. That is how people usually ended up meeting Him on the other end of purgatory after passing through his way station. With a deep breath he erased all negative thoughts. One foot moved up to the next step, deflating the plush, mauve carpet beneath it. The wicked grin returned and Death was stalking once again.

This time he knew where she was because he could hear the water running in the master bathroom. Again the doubt began to creep in. Would he be able to kill a defenseless old woman? It was one thing when she had a shot gun, but in the shower or bath tub? It would be like a scene from Psycho. The Grim Reaper a murderer?

He groaned. Death really didn’t like the prospects of this. Nothing was working out here. Perhaps this was the break he needed, but even then it didn’t seem fair. Killing an old lady in her bathtub even though she had shot at him and sent her dog to chew his leg off seemed something that a demented, sick minded bastard would do. Not him.

So he decided he would wait.

Mr. Reaper stood in the hall leaning against the wall within full view of her open bedroom door. He looked at his watch hoping that it wouldn’t take all night. That’s when he saw her pass by the hall fully clothed. Maybe he wouldn’t have to wait so long to finish the deed after all. With a shove of his elbow he was moving down the hall toward his target.

Death crept into the room and looked around. She wasn’t there.

With a groan he dropped his scythe with one hand and let the blade droop to the ground. “Don’t tell me she, she’s a witch,” he muttered under his breath, every word dripping with sarcasm. “I swear God must suddenly hate me.”

There was a bump from the bathroom.

“What the--? I’ve got you now!” Taking up his scythe he rushed into the bathroom free from any shame or doubts, ready to rip this lady a new one for screwing with him. The blaring white lights and water filled bathtub was all that greeted him. Yet again, she wasn’t there. “God damn it!” he swore angrily before throwing his scythe down on the white linoleum floor. Frustrated, he began to rant at the ceiling, “World War Two wasn’t even this hard! I mean seriously, what the hell do you want from me! I don’t kill people! I take souls! There is a difference you know, or did you change the rules on me?”

“I’m not sure what your mental problem is, but I told you before stay the fuck off my property you freak!”

Mr. Reaper turned around just in time to watch her yank the bath mat out from under his feet. He stumbled back trying to regain his balance only to trip over the back of the bath tub. To save himself he clung onto the shower curtain. Unfortunately Death isn’t weightless, and it tore away from the rings. Painfully he landed with a splash in the tub slamming his head up against the wall. Slightly disoriented from the tumble, the last thing he saw was an old, yellowed radio flying through the air before it connected with the water.

Slap, Slop, Slap, Slop.

These were the sounds made by the scuffed and soggy designer dress shoes as they marched along the dry carpet leaving soaking footprints in their wake. Behind the footprints dragged a rather unhappy looking piece of farming equipment. The leader of this sorry parade was the Grim Reaper fried and sopping.

The row of cubicles looked longer today under the dangling edge of his drenched hood. He knew that he was being watched by everyone as they leaned curiously in their office chairs to get a good look at him. Death had been bested, again. He could feel the rows of eyes staring at him in shock as he dragged on by knowing that he had been completely and utterly humiliated. He couldn’t help but feel that God was punishing him for something, he just couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Whoa! What the hell happened to you?”

Death gave a slow shift of his head to look at the speaker. It was Kirk Cobain. Ironically he too had been shot by a shotgun, only he did it himself. “I wish Hell had happened to me,” he replied dryly before resuming his slow pace.

He wished he could have died when she electrocuted him. Sadly, he can’t.

That wonderful ergonomic chair he loved so much made a soggy squish when he finally fell into it. Today it felt especially wonderful after what he had been through. He had dragged himself out of the water when the electricity finally gave. The lady had gone and the house was now all pitch black. The dog wasn’t even there to finish him off. Humbled, he decided it best to go back to his office and talk with someone on his board about what had happened so they could decide what to do to handle situation better. Perhaps he should have gone home first.

The refection in his computer screen that was staring back at him was haggard and worn. He looked partially like a drowning victim and partially like Jack Monroe when he had touched that naked wire his assistant had forgot to cut the power to. His immaculate hair was hanging down from under his hood which had almost slipped down to cover his eyes. His eyes even took on a transformation now suddenly looking puffy and red. He felt fatigued and his bones ached with pain. Death didn’t look like he usually did, neat and professional. Death looked like shit.

There was a knock in the doorway. Mr. Reaper looked up to see Thomas Jefferson standing there with a raised eyebrow. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” he muttered while pushing his hood off so he could fix his hair.

The dead president took a seat in the chair across from him before uttering another word. “Are you sure you can handle this?”

Death was suddenly paying attention. “I was wondering about that myself, but the truth is I think God is punishing me for something. I just don’t know what”

“I wonder that everyday, only I know what I’m being punished for.”

“Might I ask what?” Death already knew the answer.

“For being and atheist,” he responded. “I even tried to rewrite the bible. I’m figuring that was probably where I overstepped my bounds.”

“Really, and you don’t think it was overthrowing a government?”

Jefferson gave him a rather admonishing look that showed he really didn’t approve of Death’s weak attempt at a joke. “If that were the case then Washington would be shining your shoes.”

Death shrugged in defeat. “So what do you think I should do about this little problem then?”

“I can’t think of anything. Just don’t give up on it because if you don’t get rid of that old lady then the back log is only going to get worse. Since her soul wasn’t received when it was supposed to, no others are being accepted till she shows up. You have to fix this. Every other competent individual in this place along with myself have been trying to figure something out, but all the other routes have been close off. You can’t arrange her death, she always misses it. You have to kill her.”

In response, Death’s head sunk to his desk with a moan. He really didn’t want to do it, but if he had to then it would be done. He lifted his head and sank into his chair. “Okay,” he said sounding like a small child that didn’t want to do what their father said despite that they had no choice.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” he responded grudgingly. “This really sucks.”

The president smirked. “I’ve put myself in those situations a few times. So at the very least be happy it’s not your fault.”

Grim smiled as Jefferson got up. “Thanks, and could you do me a favor? Get me some coffee before you go hide away in your office again.”

He nodded and left.

Now Death was alone to contemplate what he was going to do about that wretched woman. Deciding that nothing else was going to work, it was time to bring out the big guns.

Again he stood across the street staring at the house that was home to the lady who currently seemed to be the bane of his existence. She had returned home to her shorted out house a few hours ago as he found out, but he didn’t immediately return to the poorly lit sidewalk to lie in wait. Instead he was donning his new robes and preparing not to fall for this witch’s trickery. This time he was determined to get rid of her by whatever means necessary. He almost wished he still had that problematic employee’s gun, but he had more style than that. If he had to he would rip her soul right out. That wicked grin crossed Death’s face, only now he held no doubts. This old lady was going down.

Crouched like a tiger, Death floated across the street, scythe in hand. This time he didn’t bother with stealth or even knocking. Instead he blasted the solid oak door apart with a single swing. There before the remnants of the barrier stood the menacing robed skeleton of lore ready to retrieve her soul. A twisted, menacing smile crossed his face. He would not be out smarted this time, and he would not allow his weaknesses to get the best of him.

The Grim Reaper stepped over the threshold into a glowing, candle lit room. The soft yellow light cast strong, elongated shadows across the walls giving the house an almost eerie atmosphere about it, but he was Death. Eerie could have been his middle name. Carefully he placed one foot in front of the other making sure that each step was heard. “Come out where ever you are?” he hissed. “I know you aren’t afraid to face me grandma.”

“So you really are Death here for my soul,” croaked a voice from his left. He glanced over to see the wrinkled old skeleton standing in the shadows of her kitchen aiming her old double barreled shotgun right at his chest. “You sure are a stubborn one aren’t you? When you going to give up?”

“Death is never going to give up. People will always have to die eventually; it just depends on how long your life is before your time is up. Some people just die sooner than others, but you have had your long life and now it is time to give your soul up.” Death stared her down, scythe in both hands. “Now bring it on.”

The old lady cocked her shot gun with a cackle before taking aim. When the shot impacted Death barely flinched despite the pain he felt growing in his chest. The only thing stopping him from doubling over in pain was the fact that he couldn’t die. Without hesitation he charged forward just as she pulled the trigger again.

Again he was hit, and again he didn’t stop.

With his scythe he pushed the gun aside before reaching a grisly, skeletal arm forward. It sunk through her chest like it was made of air before he grasped her soul. The old woman looked at him with glassy, stunned eyes as if trying to figure out what was going on, but that was before he started to pull. Her face contorted into an expression of unfathomable torment as her life was being wrenched from her body. Death’s hand emerged from her corporeal body holding something that seemed as intangible as smoke, the near transparent substance tensing and thrashing in pain.

“What are you doing?” the old woman croaked.

“I’m tearing out your soul,” he answered simply.

Anger flared in her eyes. “I’m not going to let you.”

Suddenly the soul began to pull back. Death tugged harder, but it wasn’t coming loose. He gave it a rough yank, but then it pulled back. So he yanked again. It wasn’t long before it became a macabre tug of war, his hand passing in out of her body, too stubborn to let go of the obstinate soul. When the battle became pointless he let go.

The old lady snapped back against the cabinets as if a giant rubber band hit her in the chest. Death approached with his scythe raised ready to finish the job – then a vicious Jack Russell terrier clamped onto his leg. He screamed in shock before he began to attempt to remove the yapping monster. Shaking his leg futilely, Death braced himself against the wall so as the gain better function of his leg, but before his could kick the dog off her heard the old lady scream.

“Don’t you touch Vinny!”

That’s when he learned how much a toaster hurt.

Death slumped down to the ground momentarily stunned. When he gained focus the dog had let go and he could see the old lady scooting around the corner. She was headed for the stairs. “God hates me,” he muttered angrily before he jumped to his feet to follow.

Up the stairs she went and down to the hall to her room at the end. He had to admit, she was pretty quick for her age, but he was faster. Death had almost caught up with her when she passed through her open doorway, but a wooden box had to be dodged before he could catch her, but it wasn’t the end of the missiles. Item after item had to be dodged as Death closed in, but she kept backing away. Through every vase, pillow, lamp, or perfume bottle he would catch a glimpse of her heading toward the open window. The window she couldn’t see.

As the last pillow flew, he cut it in half to send feathers floating everywhere. Through the thick white cloud he advanced, and would have had her if she didn’t go tumbling over the low windowsill into the dark, night air.

Standing next to the whining Vinny he looked out the window to the old lady’s broken body on the grass below. Death couldn’t do anything but feel stupefied.

“I can’t believe God was screwin’ with me.”

As usual the sky was blue and the grass green as the pale mustang wove its way to the lone building in the middle of the field. As usual its occupant was on time and immaculate looking in his navy blue pinstriped suit. As usual the elevator opened with a ding on the top floor as it did every morning. As usual calls of, “Good morning Mr. Reaper,” greeted him as he walked across the floor to his office at the other side of the building.

Before he reached his office he stopped in at the office of Jack Monroe. The door stood open, so all he did was stick his head in to see Jack talking to Jefferson. Since everything had returned to normal, they now had almost nothing to do.

“Hello there Mr. Reaper. I see that everything is back to normal,” Jack greeted him once he was noticed. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes there is. Can you get me God in my office? I have to speak to him.”

He nodded, “Yes sir.”

Death began to duck out when he remembered something. “Oh, and Jefferson…”

The ex-president looked up from his matte black coffee mug with a quizzical look. “Yes sir.”

“The next time you think you’re being punished, just think, John Smith isn’t here.” Then he left before he could see Jefferson grin.

Mr. Reaper passed Miss Scarlet with a hasty hello before walking into his office and setting his briefcase down on his desk. Then he turned to the large flat screen on his wall to see a rather smiley blonde. “Hello Gabriel. I need to talk to the Almighty.”

“Oh! Hello Death. Long time no talk to!” He shouted excitedly. “How long has it been? I can’t remember. So that means you haven’t had a chance to see my new shoes!”

Death just smiled. If anyone thought God hated gays they obviously hadn’t met Gabriel. He wasn’t just gay, he was flaming. “I’ll see them later. Can you please put God on?”

“Alright,” he responded sounding slightly disheartened, but no less cheery.

The screen changed over to a large imposing man sitting at a monstrous wooden desk. His dark eyes pierced through the screen to meet Mr. Reaper’s hazel ones as if it was real life. “I was waiting for your call.”

“What can I expect, you are omnipotent.”

God nodded.

“So why did you do it? Was it a test? Or did you just need a good laugh?” Death said smugly crossing his arms.

God chuckled. “What do you think? You know me just as well as all the other angels, and besides, when did you have a choice? You aren’t human.”

Death shrugged. “It’s my job anyway so I don’t mind.” He smirked. “I must have looked like a complete fool.”

“Cursing me didn’t help.”

“What can I say, I’m neutral.”

God let out a booming laugh. It was funny, because it was the truth. “I was just trying to make things interesting.”

Mr. Reaper chuckled. “You always are.”

“Well anyway, I’ve decided to make up for it.”

“What do you mean?” Death asked, but when he blinked God wasn’t the imposing man anymore.

Now a beautiful girl in a sun dress with chestnut tresses sat on the edge of the desk. She had a kind of mischievousness about her while being blessed with innocence and the world’s knowledge all at the same time. “I sent you cookies,” She said sweetly.

He smiled and looked down at his desk top. There sat a gold tin. He glanced back up at the screen. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” God responded. “If you need me I’m going to go visit foster homes with presents from charity. I just love seeing children smile. Good bye,” and she skipped off the screen before it went black.

Mr. Reaper picked up the tin and opened it. Inside were large, golden brown walnut and chocolate cookies. He smiled. “My favorite.”

#reader-ramble #short story #am writing #early writing attempts #original #this is so embarrassing to read #can't believe I still have this

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