😔 everything that’s a household electronic & like the household streaming accounts are all named after various Jaws characters or Jaws puns down to the air purifier who’s named Mayor Larry Vaughn just because. Just because.

A very confused Star Wars Fan desperately tries to justify their belief that “Caravan of Courage” shows the way forward for the franchise. No, really.

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve loved Star Wars. And I mean, all of it. The books, the games, the Lego, the spin-offs: I even enjoy the Holiday Special in a The Room so-bad-you-just-need-to-see-it sort of way.  But particularly the films. But here is when we run into the big problem: I’m just the wrong age. The original trilogy launched before I was born, the prequel trilogy hit cinemas when I was already a teen and while I went and saw them and enjoyed them, I was at that age where I was self-conscious about seeing a “kids” film, and hyper-aware of how silly and cringy those films were in parts. So my indoctrination, my inoculation with the Star Wars bug didn’t happen in the cinema, and it didn’t happen with any of the main franchise works. It happened on home video, on a skiing trip in the French Alps in the early 90’s. I’d have been about 6, and this was the first time I’d ever been abroad other than to see relatives in Ireland.  And I loved it: to this day I love skiing, but more than that, I have very, very fond childhood memories of this trip. This was shortly before I lost my biological mother to cancer, she’d have received her diagnosis just after we got back from the trip. This was when my younger sister stopped being an annoying screaming thing and became and became an actual person I could talk and play and share ideas with, this was before the combination my mothers long illness and my father having just launched his own IT start up meant I didn’t see him or her any more, despite the fact they were in the same house as me. This was this wonderful, nostalgic child-hood bubble when my family was intact, and nothing could ever go wrong. I skied all day with mum and dad, and would come back to the chalet in the evening. It was an English speaking chalet, I met my first real-life American there, and having grown up in the 90’s in the UK nothing was cooler than making friends with an actual American my own age. He had a hulk Hogan action figure with springs in the legs so if you put him on a hard surface and punched his head down, when you let go he’d jump really high in the air. We used to play with it together in the bath, back in that weird 90’s time-bubble when it was possible to convince two sets of parents that this kid you’d just met was you best friend in the world and of course shared bath time was, somehow, normal and appropriate. And fresh from bath time, tired from the day, the parents would give us some hot coco, dump us kids in front of the tv and grab the first shitty low-budget VHS they could find to keep us distracted while they went to the bar. In this particular time, in this particular place, that shitty low budget cartoon was the  complete set of the 1985 Lucasfilm/ABC Ewoks cartoon, plus the two spin off movies, and to this day that cheap, kitschy, kind of bad series has a special warm and cosy place in my heart. I remember being enthralled by the world, in love with the characters, applied by the bad guys and the injustice they caused (to this day I’m still irate about that time Wicket lost his set of beads documenting his progress towards becoming a full warrior and the older Ewoks basically said, tough, you need to re-earn all those merit badges from scratch. This struck me as exactly the sort of bullshit an adult would pull, and pissed me off) and on tenterhooks about what would happen to the characters.

It was also, by a coincidence, the first ever Star Wars media I was exposed to, and the above combination of events probably explains a lot about me.

So I was surprised, the other day, when scrolling Disney+, to find they’d added Caravan of Courage AND Battle for Endor to the roster in my region. Surely Disney wouldn’t want their slick, cool brand associated with this old trash? Surely there could be no place for this in the post-Mandalorian Star Wars cannon? Surely this is a horrible mistake some intern made, right?

Unless…. What if I’ve miss-remembered? What if it’s not just rose-tinted nostalgia goggles, and it’s, in fact, secretly really, really good?

I rushed to my comfy chair, got a blanket, dimmed the lights, made some coco (with rum in it, because why the hell not?) and sat down to re-examine this lost gem.

And wow: it’s every bit as shit as you’d expect.

It has aged exactly as poorly as you’d expect a cheap, mid 80’s direct to video spin-off to age. Caravan of Courage? More like Caravan of Garbage, am I right?

And yet… I still enjoyed every moment.

And it was sitting there, in my pyjamas, watching a cheaply made direct to video cash-grab from just before I was born, seeing it again for the first time in nearly 30 years, and I realised something.

It doesn’t really matter if this film is bad, so long as I enjoy it. And if it doesn’t really mater if this is bad, then I, like many Star Wars fans, wasted a huge amount of time and emotional effort on being butthurt about stuff I didn’t like about the Rise of Skywalker and it’s ilk. Because somewhere, right now, a tired and frustrated parent is putting Disney+ on to keep their kids quiet for two hours. And they won’t think too hard about what they put on, so long as it keeps little Timmy busy for a bit. Somewhere, right now, a kid is watching Rise of Skywalker, and it’s the first Star Wars media they’ve ever seen.

And that’s okay. Because we don’t know what that kids home life is like. We don’t know if it’s good or bad. Maybe it’s great, maybe it’s about to take a dramatic plunge like mine did, and this moment here will be the cosy, warm memory they look back on in 30 years time, and that’s beautiful.  They’re getting introduced to a fun, wonderful fantasy world that could be with them all their lives, through good times and bad, and as fans we should be happy about that.

Star Wars will never, die: it’s too darn profitable, Disney will never let it. And while I hope they learn from their mistakes and make sure every future Star Wars is a timeless gem of story-telling, statistically, if you keep making enough films, some of them will be bad. And while I’d like them all to be great, it’s still okay if they’re bad.

Because nothing can take away my memories of that week in that chalet. Nothing can take-away my memories of when they put the original trilogy on in cinemas for the special edition and I had my jaw hit the floor with how good it was on the big screen, not knowing or caring who shot first. Nothing can take away you memories of the Original Trilogy, the Prequels, or the Clone Wars. Nothing can tarnish the bits of the sequil trilogy that you like, and there are good bits in there.

But wait, what about continuity? What about the sacred, perfect written time-line that used to exist?

Well, what about it? Have you seen any other big, epic fantasy universe before? They’re all a mess. A work of fiction, particularly fantasy, can be extensive, or tightly written, but not both. Harry Potter is only seven books, and the last two feel, tonally, like they’re from an entirely different series. I love them, but the grim-dark kicked in so fast you’ll get whiplash. The Hobbit is a perfect written self-contained novel, and LOTR is *The* big boy high-fantasy trilogy: fast forward 50 years, and Christopher Tolkien is desperately squeezing every last drop of money out of his father’s corpse by finishing and publishing every unfinished note JRR ever wrote right down to his shopping lists. Even Dune goes of the rails with sequels. I can only think of four fantasy works that are both extensive and consistently tightly written, Song of Ice and Fire, Wheel of Time, Malazan: Book of the Fallen and Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere universe. And even then, the prequels and spin-offs mess with the timelines: the Dunk and Egg novella’s change some character’s canonical ages and timelines, Wheel of Time was going slowly off the rails even before the Jordan died, Forge of Darkness made what was a good metaphor for the creation of it’s world into a literal war deep in the past, and Sanderson’s first Novel Elantris got a re-write to bring it more in line with the rest of the shared universe. The MCU, oft held up as the modern example of tightly planned, well thought out ongoing storytelling, is a lie: it was never as pre-planned out as Disney wants us to think; the first Iron Man, apparently, barely had a script, with Downey ad-lib-ing most of his scenes. None of the MCU films are direct sequels to each-other other than Infinity war and Endgame. There are three Iron Man films, and Three Thor films, and none continue an ongoing story line across multiple films, and the Cap films barely continue an arc, but only where Cap’s relationship with Natasha and Bucky is involved.  Much like these, Star War’s cannon is a complete, nightmarish, confusing, tangled, illogical mess. And it has been since 1984, as Caravan of Courage proves. It was never consistent and well planned.

And that’s okay.

I used to care about plot holes. I used to care about which works were cannon in Star Wars lore. I’m over that now. I’m happy to imagine the books, films and games not as a blow-by-blow historical account of a galaxy far far away, but as campfire stories from within this fun, imaginative world that we’re all invited to listen to. Stories that are in-universe myth and folklore, that we can all snuggle up and listen to while drinking highly alcoholic rum and remembering better times, knowing that wherever the future throws at us, no matter how the world goes to hell around us, we’ll still have the memories, and the ability to make our own new stories in the wonderful Star Wars world we all share.

And that’s okay. No, more than that: that’s beautiful.

Also Star Wars is completely unambiguous on the fact we’re allowed to kill fascists no matter how many times they keep coming back with a new logo, so that’s timely I guess.

So, there’s my hot take two-years after everyone else stopped caring about this stuff, as per bloody usual. Tell me why I’m wrong below, and does anyone else have any truly awful spin-off shows that they kind of have a nostalgic soft spot for?

40 Years Of Greatness

40 years ago today the first lucky cinema goers got to see Star Wars, a new science fiction space opera on the big screen, and everything changed. I was five, and this film became my world. Today Star Wars is a huge part of my daily life, and I couldn't be happier...

In 1977 an ambitious filmmaker released a film that would change everything. Star Wars, a film that beat the odds in getting made, would, over the years, go on to change the way films were made, promoted and distributed. Special effects company ILM would go from miniatures and puppets to computer generated special effects and characters and back again. Director George Lucas would develop non-linear editing, make digital cinematography an industry standard and build his own empire with the proceeds of tiny plastic action figures and eventually sell it all to Disney for multiple billions of dollars. 

But Star Wars is so much more that these bookmarks in cinema history.

As a five year boy my dad would take me to see Star Wars, because he had an interest in the special effects and model making involved, and he knew I'd love it too. For me, the experience was earth shattering. My mum reminded me over the years how the five year old version of me came home and attempted to recount the entire movie in half finished sentences and improvised sound effects. This movie was quite simply joy to a five year old boy. 

That joy would be played out daily with my 3 3/4 inch plastic action figures from Kenner and Palitoy. A collection that would be updated weekly with a new addition. This was George's attempt to; A, keep the movie alive in the minds of his target audience and B, finance his independence as a filmmaker. Both gambits worked with the 1980 sequel being largely independent and Skywalker Ranch, and filmmaker Mecca, breaking ground not long after. All financed through the passion of small boys like me, and the generosity of their loving parents.

Graffiti 

Star Wars would be a gateway movie for me. The sequels, of course became a huge part of my life, as would the earlier efforts of George Lucas. I remember one day my mum saying, "I recorded something for you. It's called American Graffiti. The man who made Star Wars made it." For the younger readers, recording would be done on tape in those days. I know right? This was thirteen year old me by this time and the movie in question was the same age, almost to the day., and I loved it. I'll admit, I hadn't given much thought to the making of films and the fact that George Lucas, a name I had seen onscreen numerous times, had other work was a revelation for me. 

Graffiti would lead to THX1138, which would teach me about Francis Ford Copolla and American Zoetrope, which would lead to The Godfather, Indiana Jones, Jaws, Close Encounters and on and on and on...

Star Wars opened up a world of film to me and before you knew it I was hooked. Star Wars was a staple for me as a film lover, and when home video became a thing in the mid to late 80s (we were late to the party as a family) the Star Wars movies would be my first purchases. it started with Star Wars (1977) in a CBS Fox All Time Greats edition, but would lead to pilgrimages into town on the bus, on my own, with my grubby pound notes in hand, to purchase the sequels. 

Empire and Jedi came out on VHS sometime after Star Wars, and as a kid, with limited finances, I would spend far too long weighing up which of the two movies I should buy first. My inner completest eventually decided to buy Empire and suddenly my video library was up and running. Over the years I would buy Star Wars on every platform, in multiple versions, Widescreen, THX remastered, DVD and BluRay and now iTunes digital. I simply can't seem to get enough.

Watching Solo

I think its fair to say that at certain points in my life Star Wars has moved to the background. I remember it still being a large part of my life in the early 1990s, but it would become background noise until Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace  hit theatres at the end of that decade. When the prequels hit I had to go to extraordinary lengths to keep up with the news. I purchased an unreasonable amount of print media to follow the production of Episode I and had to beg and plead to watch the trailer on the PCs of those lucky enough to have access to the still nascent internet. 

By the time of Star Wars Episode II Attack Of The Clones I had access to the 'net via a games console and would spend hours waiting for low res images from behind the scenes to load up followed by my oops and ahhhhhs. This would be the first opening day trip to a Star Wars movie for me, with tickets booked well in advance, along with the requisite time off of work. I booked two shows, back to back. Star Wars was back, and I was in deep.

Star Wars Episode III Revenge Of The Sith came to theatres when I was working as a 35mm projectionist. It couldn't have been better. My passion for film, which had started with Star Wars, had lead me to a job where I got to see every trailer onscreen, first. Sometimes I would splice all the trailers together and we would go sit in a theatre and watch them through, one after the other, This would be followed by intense discussion about what we had just seen. I still have some of those 35mm trailers somewhere. When the film was finally released, I was lucky enough to "build" a print. This meant I had to splice each reel together, taking care to "bloop" the reel joins and remove any "lab splices" to ensure the ultimate experience for those watching my print. Print number 001. 

I watched Star Wars Episode III Revenge Of The Sith ahead of its release, on a huge screen, with incredible sound. Completely. And utterly. Alone. The five year old boy, the kid who bused into town to buy films on VHS, had managed to find a way to enjoy the final Star Wars movie, in the most incredible way. What a way to say goodbye to Star Wars. Forever...

Acquisition 

I remember where I was when I heard that Star Wars had been acquired by Disney along with Lucasfilm and the Indiana Jones IP. I was standing next to the office manager's desk and the news buzzed through the office. I went straight to the internet, now in my pocket, and had it confirmed, Star Wars was back, with Disney promising more movies, probably a lot more. And we were off...

I had allowed Star Wars to retreat into the background once more, after Star Wars Episode III Revenge Of The Sith. I had built a modest home theatre in my basement at home, years earlier and it had some Star Wars memorabilia dotted around, and I had viewings of the movies from time to time, but my attention had shifted somewhat. A few years before the Disney news, I had started to enjoy podcasts and I had a Star Wars show in my weekly rotation. But I hadn't really been following the Clone Wars very closely. I was moving on until the Disney news hit. Then I was pulled back in. 

As news of the new Star Wars movies started to pick up, I started to contribute to the cacophony surrounding the new films. It started with a Tumblr blog, then a Flipboard magazine, a website with friends and a podcast. Eventually, after a couple of false starts I would double down and launch Talk Star Wars, just in time to cover The Force Awakens as it hit theatres. Now with numerous contributors, podcasts and a stunning community of Star Wars fans, I feel like I'm just getting started in celebrating this franchise. A franchise that's been a part of my life for four decades. Every day is Star Wars focused for me now. I start each day by reviewing a tidal wave of Google Alerts and then recording an episode of my daily podcast, the TSW Kessel Run, and finding things to talk about is rarely and issue. Every week I get to record a weekly podcast with some of my favourite people in world, people who also love this franchise and wax lyrical about it in a way that enhances my experience exponentially. I and fortunate enough to have friends all over the world who share their thoughts and feelings about Star Wars past, present and future with me daily. All because one guy took a chance forty odd years ago and made the thing he felt passionately about.

Star Wars made me the guy I am today. Gave me something that now defines my life. It is a consuming passion, 40 years of greatness that is still a huge part of my life today, and I couldn't be happier. 

George Lucas, thank you for giving that five year old by the best gift in the galaxy, the gift that keeps on giving. 

Thank you for reading,

Marc