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#I gotta say I just don't think you're right
celestial-grls · 1 day
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Ciao Amore - Emily Engstler x fem!reader
summary: You and Emily are on vacation in Italy together. You have a small argument on your first night there, angst ensues... word count: 2.0k a/n: I definetely wanna write a part 2 to this w/ smut...y'all lmk
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This could've been the perfect ending to your and Emily's first night in Italy. Except both of you let the exhaustion from traveling and jet lag get to you, which resulted in a couple's quarrel. 
It wouldn't be fair to say you started it—except maybe that's what Emily would've believed when you gave her the wrong directions to the hotel and delayed your check-in time by a whole hour. 
At first, Emily tried to keep her composure as she asked you for confirmation on which way to turn. She scrubbed her right hand down her face and sighed, "Baby, I need you to tell me if I gotta turn left here or up ahead." 
The sun is blinding, and the tiny sun visor in the mini Cooper you guys decided to rent is barely doing anything to block it out. You're hopelessly trying to translate the directions from Italian to English from your phone. Still, you're getting less and less service the farther into the drive you guys get. Since it's quiet, you each thought the Tuscan countryside was the best option for your honeymoon. No one would recognize Emily here, and if they did, they'd be more lowkey than fans elsewhere could be. But with half a tank of gas gone, sweat collecting on the back of your neck, and a headache forming behind your eyes, your patience is wearing thin, too. 
"Umm…I think it's the next left. Yeah, the one up ahead." There isn't anything in your tone that leads Emily to believe you. 
"Are you sure? Because if not, we can't make a U-turn here." 
"Yeah, Em. That's what it says in the directions." 
As it turned out, you guys were supposed to take the first left, not the second, which led you through a tiny town with the narrowest roads you've ever seen. Emily had to drive as slowly as possible, and you tried to warn her about some of the Vespas parked on the side street. 
"Em! You almost scraped that Vespa!" You yelled in exasperation after she avoided the Vespa by half an inch. 
"Baby, relax. I know what I'm doing," she huffs before adding, "unlike some people." 
You know she's just as eager to get to your hotel as you are, so you let the sass slide this time. "Okay. I wanna see you try to read these directions in Italian. Maybe I should drive instead." 
Emily rolls her eyes and scoffs as she drives out of the little town and into wider streets. The directions show that you guys are back where you're supposed to be. "Not if we wanna make it to the hotel in one piece." 
Scrunching your brow, you ask her, "What's that supposed to mean?" You shift closer to your door, taking your elbow off the center console. 
Emily immediately notices your change in body language. She places her hand on your knee, trying to make amends. She glances over at you but stands by what she said. "C'mon, baby. Don't be ridiculous." 
You scoff and start rubbing at your temples. "You know I can drive! It's insulting you don't think I can!" 
Ever since the two of you started dating, it was evident that you would have to navigate each other's stubbornness. For most of your relationship, Emily was the driver, and you were in the passenger seat. You glanced down at the directions on your phone and saw it'd be about another five miles before you reached your hotel. 
"I never said you couldn't drive! You know what I meant, Y/N," Emily's grip tightens against the wheel as you look out the window, not meeting her gaze. 
You annoyedly sniffle and tell her, "Just go straight for another five miles." 
Both of you knew it would be the longest five miles you've ever had to drive together. 
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When you both arrived at the hotel, you could finally breathe outside the Mini Cooper's confines. The sun was starting to go down as you guys checked in, and neither of you said a word to each other. As you began to take the dress you would wear out of your suitcase, you couldn't stop angrily unzipping the sides. Emily was stomping around the room in search of her slippers. When you kicked them in front of her, she pouted at you and flopped on the bed. 
You both knew you could behave like little kids when you got into little spats. It was a relief to finally be out of the heat, stop the stressful shuffling that comes with traveling, and finally get to spend time alone together. 
Emily sunk into the bed, shutting her eyes and harshly rubbing at them. When she opened them and turned onto her side, she watched you slide open the balcony door to lean against the railing, eyes trailing the Italian countryside lit up at night. She watched you tie your robe tighter around yourself, knowing you were probably about to step into the shower, 
She thought about opening the door and apologizing, but she figured you each needed some moments alone. She felt so sullen, watching you from behind the door. This was supposed to be a time you could spend together, finally away from the craziness and pressure back home. 
The hotel was beautiful. Outside of the balcony, it looked like the streets were lit up with millions of tiny string lights, and through the cracked door, you could hear the chatter of other couples having an early dinner. Emily sank further into the plush hotel bed before grabbing her book and busying herself. 
You open the door and come back inside, barely glancing at Emily. Emily peers over the top of the book and watches you disappear behind the bathroom door. 
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You came out of the bathroom with damp hair and your face scrubbed clean of the makeup you had on before. Emily was still reading on the bed when you decided to sit next to her. She closed her book, marking the page before meeting your gaze. 
You tuck a stray hair behind your ear, getting water drips on Emily's arm. You look down at your robe tie before saying, "We should probably get dinner." 
Emily sits in bed, unsure whether she's in your good graces again. She tests the waters by tucking your other strand behind your ear. When you let her, she feels relieved. "Sure, baby. Let's get dinner." 
You each get ready silently, hanging onto a tightness in your chest. It's stupid to argue the way you do because neither of you likes to admit when you're wrong. The only sounds from your hotel room are from the whir of you blow-drying your hair and Emily hanging up some shirts before choosing the one she'll wear tonight. Even if you are a little upset with her, you hope she wears the blue striped shirt that you love so much on her. 
Emily's still watching you from her place on the bed. She's considering how and at what point she should apologize to you tonight. Even if it is true that you're not a stellar driver, she shouldn't have made a comment when both of you were clearly grouchy and eager to just get to the hotel. 
It's when she sees you twist your hair up into a clip and slip on a slinky black dress that you've had forever that she feels wholly disarmed and forgets why you guys ever argue in the first place. You're leaning over the bathroom sink to dab the lipstick on and swiping what's left on your fingers on your cheeks, puckering and pouting in the mirror, completely unaware of the way Emily's looking at you. She stands there for a few seconds before clearing her throat and grabbing her shoes. When you leave the bathroom, she looks down shyly like a kid in trouble and mumbles, "Ready to go?" 
You nod, remaining neutral outside, but seeing Emily's guilty face tugs at your heart. "Let me grab my shoes." 
"I-uh. I took them out already. They're by the nightstand." She nervously adjusts the rings on her fingers as she tells you this. You brought your favorite black heels on vacation and wear them for most of the date nights you guys have.
This little gesture that she does really makes you feel guilty about giving her the cold shoulder, so you stand in front of her, bringing your hand up to rest against her face, and tell her, "Thanks, baby." 
Emily stills and looks down at you, eyes focusing on the lip color you're wearing and wondering when it'll be time to kiss you. She'd never dream of asking if you're still mad at her because she knows better than that, and chooses to wait it out and see. When you're done slipping on your heels, she puts her hand on the small of your back as you exit the hotel and have dinner at one of the restaurants down the street. 
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It's hard to stay mad at each other in a restaurant this romantic. Your waiter poured each of you a glass of red wine and left the bottle for you both to split over the course of dinner. Emily's nervously twisting her rings while you look directly at her with your chin propped on the palms of your hand. She's focused on her plate of pasta while you sip from your glass of wine. She wipes the napkin at the corner of her mouth before clearing her throat and looking at you. 
Right now, she could really forget she's in Italy at all. All she could see was the gravity of your long eyelashes blinking back at her, your hand wrapped around the wine glass, and the corners of your mouth turned down into a slight frown. 
"Y/N? I wanted to say I'm sorry, baby." She laughs, reaching across the table to grab your hand. "I was–I shouldn't have said what I did back there in the car." 
You look at her downturned brown eyes, the blue shirt you love so much, and how it bounces off the soft light of the restaurant. You've been thinking about kissing her since she set your shoes out for you, desperately restraining yourself against kissing her stupid and forgetting you were ever angry with each other. 
You sigh, "Are we idiots, Em?" 
Emily laughs, "We must be. We're like little kids." She punctuates the tenderness of the admission by kissing the back of your hand. 
You shrug, "I'm not the best driver, I know." 
Emily doesn't say anything at first, knowing it'd only get her in more trouble to agree with that statement. "Aw baby, you know I can't read Italian. I think you were the best person for the job." 
You playfully roll your eyes, "You don't have to grovel, y'know? You're already in my good graces again." 
Emily reaches across the table to hold the side of your head, gently pressing her lips to yours. You've been thinking about her hands in your hair since she tucked your hair behind your ear earlier in the hotel room. When you pull apart, all you can taste is the wine you've both been drinking, pausing to see how it's turned the corners of Emily's mouth a delicious shade of red. Observing the color makes you kiss her back more intensely, running a finger across her jawline. 
She leans back in her chair, spreading her legs a bit before slowly sipping from her wine glass. "Y'look pretty t'night, ma." 
She's flirting with you like you guys haven't been dating for some time now. You narrow your eyes at her, "Yeah?" 
She gives you one long look, sweeping her eyes from top to bottom. "Yeah." 
You consider what your next move should be. Your instincts tell you to ask your lover what she's thinking. Her expression is relieved, cheeks flushed from the wine you've both had. Out of habit, you actually do, softly whispering, "What are you thinking, Em?" 
She looked to the side before smirking, "I think we should go back to the room so I can show you how sorry I am."
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new-fandom-scene · 2 days
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Speechless
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Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!reader
Warnings: none
Summary: Tim's lights are on, but nobody seems to be home.
Word Count: 1,572
By the time Tim and Angela made it out and into the bar, the usual nine to five crowd was already deep in "weekend mode". Groups of girlfriends were giggling while taking shots of cheap tequila. Packs of guys were working their way through pitcher after pitcher of beer. Weaving through the loud and lively crowd, Wesley already had their usuals sitting at their table for them. Lopez hums in content as she greets Wesley with a kiss and a grateful smile. "This is how it should be at the end of every week", Lopez declares before raising her bottle and clinking hers against Wesley and Tim's glasses.
"So now you're expecting me to be sitting pretty nursing the first round, just waiting for you guys to get here every Friday?" Wesley looks to his wife incredulously and rolls his eyes. "I think I'll pass". Angela shrugs dismissively, taking a sip.
"Obviously not every week, Babe. You and Tim's next lady can alternate every other week". Now it's Tim's turn to roll his eyes.
"Right, because a beer wench is all I'm looking for in a partner. No offense, Wes". Wesley shrugs.
"Since I have no choice but to accept this fate, maybe I can help find my new coworker? There's gotta be a single girl somewhere in my department. I can ask around on Monday". Angela takes her turn to roll her eyes.
"I so need my husband to ask around about the single women at his office", sarcasm dripping with every word. Lopez tips her bottle all the way up, getting the last drop, before setting it back down on the table. "Timothy will get a pretty lady soon enough. But right now, he's gotta get the next round."
Stiffly, Tim stretches his arms out wide and lets out a sigh before pushing himself up from the table. "Next round comin' up". Turning swiftly, Tim makes his way to the center of the bar, but not before bumping right into someone walking the opposite direction and back towards their table. Instinctively, Tim catches the victim of his unwareness by the waist, steadying her before fumbling any further.
"I am so sorry!" You say, rubbing your hands together anxiously. "I definitely thought I was paying attention, but there are so many people, I- I'm so sorry!" You try to search for any signs of anger or frustration on Tim's face, but you don't find any. In fact, you don't even think there's anyone home upstairs, from the looks of it.
Tim's mouth hangs open slightly as he stares at the woman in front of him. A million thoughts running through his head as none of those thoughts are actually making it to his mouth as tangible words. He doesn't think he's ever seen anyone as breathtaking as you, or stunning, as he is literally stunned in front of you. "Ar-are you okay?" You ask again, bringing him a little back to reality. Tim nods, still frozen in place from the shoulders down. "Umm, okay then. Since we don't need to exchange insurances or anything, I should be heading back". The last thing Tim wants is for you to leave his space, but those words are still taking their sweet time getting to his mouth. "Sorry again, have a good night!" You say as you awkwardly shuffle around him and head back to your table of friends. Tim still stands there, analyzing everything, until Angela begins to laugh and Tim's defense mode starts to kick in.
"Someone better be home up there before the squatters try to break in!" Angela jabs while Tim slowly brings himself down to sit at the table.
"Was it- was it that bad?" Tim looks to Wesley, who grimaces. Tim clenches his jaw.
"She might as well have been Medusa with how stonely you stood, man" Wesley shakes his head. "But you know, there's always room for bouncing back". Angela throws her head back with laughter.
"Next round says you can't come back from that", she challenges. Tim swallows hard. It couldn't have been bad beyond recovery, right? He shakes himself out of it and the adrenaline starts to course through his body. Looking out beyond their booth, Tim spots your head bobbing as you weave your way back to the bar. Time to man up, Bradford, he thinks to himself.
"Get your card ready, Lopez", Tim smirks as he pushes himself back up and towards the bar. Angela smiles to herself.
"It'd be Wesley's card anyways!" She calls back, but her voice gets lost amongst the sea of people Tim wades through to get to where you're standing and waiting to be served. You can do this, Bradford. You're a very handsome boy." Shaking any anxieties out of his body, he taps you on your shoulder. You turn around to investigate, blushing nervously with a shy smile. Tim can feel himself begin to seize in front you, and, for not knowing him pretty much at all, you're starting to feel that he is too.
"Let me guess, you have an injury and we actually do need to exchange insurances?" You chuckle. Tim opens his mouth to speak, but is met with, yet again, an empty house. You're usually never this forward, but you've got a couple of drinks under your belt. Guess you gotta taken the reins on this one, you think to yourself. "You know, what? I've actually got the shittiest insurance, maybe we should just exchange numbers instead so I can make it up to you? Think grabbing dinner could compensate for the value of your injuries?" You suggest, rocking back and forth on your heels. "I-I'm (y/n) by the way", you add and stick your hand out for him to shake. "Guess I should have said that earlier". You pray that your hand isn't sweaty as you hold it out for him, simultaneously searching his face for any signs of life.
Her hand! Shake her damn hand! Tim yells at himself internally and pushes himself to stick his hand out to meet yours. Tim notices how perfectly your hand fits with his, memorizing the softness of your skin. "T-Tim", he says to you, which comes out more as cough or gasp for air. Your shoulders visibly lower in relief that you hadn't stuck yourself out there for nothing.
"Nice to meet you, Tim", you smile and continue to shake his hand. Tim can't keep his eyes off you, taking in every sparkle in your eyes and how your smile could honestly fix any hard day's work that he's ever had. He notices how there seems to be one piece of your hair that's about to fall in front of your gorgeous face and he resists the urge to reach out and stop it from happening. What else can I say? Think, handsome boy, think. Shit, we're still shaking her hand! He drops your hand more abruptly than he liked to, a rigid smile and nervous chuckle following.
"I like burgers!" Tim says loudly, also more abruptly than he liked to. Your smile widens as you let a hearty laugh escape.
"I like burgers too!" You say with just as much energy. Now it's your turn to make him chuckle. You watch as his body relaxes into a more comfortable stance. "Easing up a little bit, I see?" You tease, stepping slightly closer to him. Tim shakes his head and smiles, his gaze returning to yours with an amazed smile on his face.
"I don't believe I've ever met anyone that has actually left me speechless", he admits to you. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable in any way". You smile and swat your hand playfully dismissive.
"Don't worry about it," you smile. "I just hope burgers are enough to compensate for taking away your personal space and your breath away". Tim rolls his eyes playfully.
"Hey, I was still breathing" he lazily defends. "But a burger and some more of your time would certainly be a good start towards my compensation". You nod, impressed, and motion with your hand for Tim's phone. He opens it and places it into your hands for you to enter your phone number.
"How about your people talk to my people, and we can discuss proper reimbursement?" You hand the phone back to him with a smile. Tim reaches out and gets a hold of the phone, his fingers lingering over yours for just a moment before putting it back in his pocket.
"Sounds like a good start to me," Tim agrees, reluctant to leave your area of space. "I'll call you, (y/n). And I'll actually have more words this time", he promises and watches your smile get brighter and cheeks get rosier. He swears he'll do whatever he can to always make you look at him like that.
"I can't wait to hear them," you say. "It was nice to meet you, Tim". He smiles and nods before waving a small goodbye and heading back to an expectant Angela and Wesley.
"Where's my drink at?" Angela asks. Tim shakes his head slowly while pulling out his phone to show them your number. The husband and wife clap slowly, very impressed and surprised by the turnaround.
"So, where's my drink at, Lopez?" Tim shoots back, teasing. Angela looks to Wesley, eyebrows raised. Wesley sighs before pushing himself up from the table.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm on it".
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doctorbitchcrxft · 10 hours
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Hell House | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)
Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, unwanted sexual advances toward reader (nothing crazy, just uncomfortable flirtation)
Word Count: 6125
Series Rewrite Masterlist
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After leaving John and the Daevas behind, you and the boys began heading to Texas to investigate a potential case.
Sam slept in the front seat of the car as Dean cruised down Interstate 35. He looked at you suspiciously, smirking in the rearview mirror.
“What?” you whispered.
“Watch this,” Dean told you, grabbing a plastic spoon from the backseat next to you and put it in Sam’s mouth. Snickering, he took a picture with his phone before turning the music up loud. You rolled your eyes and laughed as Sam jerked up waving his arms and trying to spit the spoon out.
“Ha ha, very funny,” the younger Winchester said un-amusedly.
Dean gave what you could only describe as a giggle. You thought it was adorable. “Sorry, not a lot of scenery here in East Texas; kinda gotta make your own.”
“Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean. We're not going to start that crap up again,” Sam stated.
“Start what up?” you asked.
“Prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates,” Sam explained to you.
Dean mocked, “Aw, what's the matter Sammy, scared you're going to get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?” replied Dean.
“Alright, just remember you started it.”
“Ah ha, bring it on baldy.”
“Guys, I am not going to mediate or participate in a prank war,” you jumped in.
“Nobody asked you to, sweetheart,” Dean flippantly responded. “But don’t be surprised if you get caught in the crossfire.”
“Dean—!”
“Where are we anyway?” Sam cut you off.
“A few hours outside of Richardson. Gimme the lowdown again?” Dean asked.
“About a month or two ago, this group of kids goes poking around in this local haunted house.”
“Haunted by what?” you asked.
“Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit,” he answered.
“Oh, great,” you grumbled.
Sam laughed. “Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. Anyway, this group of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar.”
You scoffed. “Oh, even better.”
“Anybody ID the corpse?” asked Dean.
“Well, that's the thing. By the time the cops got there the body was gone. So cops are saying the kids were just yanking chains.”
“Maybe the cops are right,” the older brother suggested.
“Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids' firsthand accounts. They seemed pretty sincere,” Sam shrugged.
“Where’d you find those?” you asked.
The brunet hesitated, seeming a little embarrassed. “Well, I knew we were going to be passing through Texas. So, um, last night, I surfed some local… paranormal websites. And I found one.”
“And what's it called?” Dean prompted.
“HellHoundsLair.com.”
“Lemme guess, streaming live out of Mom's basement.”
Sam grinned. “Yeah, probably."
“Yeah. Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit 'em in the persqueeter,” Dean quipped.
“Look, we let Dad take off. Which was a mistake, by the way. And now we don't know where the hell he is, so in the meantime, we gotta find ourselves something to hunt. There's no harm checking this thing out.”
“Agreed. But not on the mistake part— I’m not getting involved in that argument,” you said.
“Good call,” Dean responded. “So where do we find these kids?”
“Same place you always find kids in a town like this,” Sam said. He directed his brother to a fast food outlet called “Rodeo Drive.”
You interviewed all of the kids who had been involved in the incident, and the only detail they could agree on in their story was that a teen named Craig had been the one to introduce them to the house.
***
The next day, you went to the record stop Craig worked at and posed as interviewers trying to get his side of the story on a paranormal feature you were writing. Sam had asked him about the house he’d taken his friends to. 
“You mean the Hell House?” the teen answered.
“That’s the one,” answered Dean.
“I didn't think there was anything to the story,” Craig shrugged.
“Why don't you tell us the story,” Sam told him.
Craig quieted his voice and looked around for eavesdroppers. “Well, supposedly back in the '30s this farmer, Mordechai Murdoch, used to live in this house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to feed his own children. So I guess that's when he went off the deep end.”
“How?” you questioned.
“Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop but he just strung 'em up, one after the other. And when he was all finished, he just turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside.”
‘Oh, that’s just great.’
“Where'd you hear all this?” Dean questioned.
“My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from. Ya gotta realize, I— I didn't believe this for a second.”
“But now you do,” the younger brother finished for him.
“I don't know what the hell to think, man. You guys, I— I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, ok? That girl was real. And she was dead. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, okay?”
***
You and the boys headed to the Hell House. It was more like a dilapidated shack at this point; it looked like it had been made with wooden boards that were probably rotting and hollowed out by termites. The path up to the house was muddy, and the house itself was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods. Add “woods” on top of “misogynistic ghost,” and you were thoroughly worried about this hunt.
“Can't say I blame the kid,” Sam commented, taking in the appearance of the house.
“Yeah, so much for curb appeal,” quipped Dean. “You gonna be okay, sweetheart? You look like you’re gonna hurl.”
You looked up at Dean. “Well, misogynistic ghosts that kill any girl who goes inside don’t exactly tickle my fancy.”
Dean’s tone became a little more sincere, but still filled with his typical sarcastic charm. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m fine. I’m a big girl; I can handle myself. Just uneasy, that’s all.”
“Hey, (Y/N)?” Sam asked. “I realized something back in Chicago.”
“What’s that?” you asked while you ducked under the police tape blocking the door. 
“You never told us where you’re from. You know we’re from Lawrence, so, what’s your story?”
“Honestly, Sammy, I have no idea,” you responded. “My parents never told me. I don’t have a copy of my birth certificate either. If it weren’t for my mom using my middle name when she was mad at me, I wouldn’t even know what it was. Don’t know my social security number, either. I’m not even confident the government has record of my existence.”
“Huh,” replied Sam. “How’d your mom even have time for a kid if she’s been hunting since you were born?”
You took out your flashlight and continued looking around while you talked to Sam. “That’s the thing, she didn’t. My mom was never really a mom to me, and she certainly wasn’t to my little brother. Even though he was only two years younger than me, I kind of had to fill the role of ‘mom’,” you explained.
Sam looked at you sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Meh, it’s whatever,” you shrugged. “You got something?”
Dean was looking around with his EMF meter. It was beeping, but not making sounds indicative of a usual reading. “Ye-ah,” he sounded unsure. “The EMF’s no good.”
“Why?” Sam questioned.
Dean looked at the power lines just outside the house. “I think that thing's still got a little juice in it. It's screwing with all the readings.”
“Yeah that'd do it,” Sam sighed.
“Looks like old man Murdock was a bit of a tagger here in his time, though,” Dean stated, looking at the symbols covering the walls.
“And after his time too. That reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries, but this sigil of sulfur didn't show up in San Francisco until the '60s,” Sam informed.
You and Dean stared at Sam for a moment before the older brother quipped, “That is exactly why you never get laid.”
You patted Sam’s shoulder. “I think it’s cool,” you assured him. 
He returned your smile. “Thanks, (Y/N).”
Dean moved to another wall with a cross with a dot in the middle. The bottom piece of the cross looked almost like a fishhook. “Hey, what about this one? You guys seen this one before?”
Sam shook his head, but you felt a sense of vague recognition, too. “Somewhere, I think.”
“Yeah, me too,” Dean said.
Sam rubbed the symbol. “It's paint. Seems pretty fresh too.”
Dean sighed. “I don't know, Sam. You know I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but... the cops may be right about this one.”
A sudden noise had you on high alert. You and Dean flanked one side of the door, guns drawn, and Sam took the other. Dean nodded, and the three of you burst through only to be met with blinding lights in your eyes.
“Oh, cut. It's just a coupla humans,” a nasally male voice said. 
The two men before you both donned backpacks and baggy cargo pants. They were around your height and seemed like complete involuntarily-celibate nerds to you.
“What are you guys doing here?” the same guy asked. He held an electrical device in one hand while the other man held a video camera.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Dean’s gruff reply came.
“Uh, we belong here; we're professionals?” the man said matter-of-factly.
You scoffed. “Professional what?”
The man eyed you up and down before answering, and you fought the cringe crawling up your spine. “Paranormal Investigators.” He handed you a business card. “There you go, take a look at that, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that,” you gritted through your teeth.
Dean took the card from you, saying, “Easy, tiger.” He read it and muttered, “Oh, you gotta be kidding me.”
“Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spengler? Hellhoundslair.com. You guys run that website,” Sam noted.
The man who had been looking you up and down who’d identified himself as Ed nodded proudly.
“Oh, yeah, yeah, we're huge fans,” Dean grinned.
“And ahh, we know who you guys are too,” Ed said confidently.
You shot a sideways glance to Dean. “Oh yeah?”
“Amateurs.”
You and Dean immediately lost interest.
Ed continued, “Looking for ghosts and cheap thrills.”
“Yep. So if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here,” Harry finished.
“Really? What have you got so far?” you asked.
“Harry, why dontcha tell 'em about EMF?”
Sam played dumb, too. “EMF?” You could tell he was fighting a smile.
“Electromagnetic field? Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector. Like this bad boy right here.” Harry gestured to the machine Ed was holding, who turned it on.
“Whoa. Whoa. It's 2.8mg,” Harry noted.
“2.8. It's hot in here,” Ed grinned.
Dean whistled in mock admiration. “So you guys ever really seen a ghost before, or…?”
“Once. We were, uh— We were investigating this old house and we saw a vase fall right off the table—” 
“By itself,” Harry finished.
“Well, we, we we we didn't actually see it, we heard it. And something like that… it, uh… it changes you,” Ed said solemnly.
“Yeah. I think I get the picture. We should go, let them get back to work,” Dean broke their stupor. “C’mon, (Y/N).”
He led you and his brother out of the room with the two guys in it. Dean stood behind you protectively.
“What?” you asked him as he led you out of the house.
“Didn’t like how he was looking at you,” he grumbled before seeming to realize what he had just admitted. “And… uh, misogynistic ghosts, and all.”
A smile spread across your face. “Thanks.”
***
You and the boys headed to a diner for some cheap burgers and beer before you decided to hit the road. You couldn’t find any missing persons matching the description of the Jane Doe that had been in the house, nor could Sam find anything on a Mordechai Murdoch. The real man had existed under a different name. You ruled the case a bust, and just wanted to relax a little before leaving town. 
“How’s that thing on your leg healing?” Dean asked you, referencing the deep gashes you’d received in Chicago.
“Meh, it’s okay,” you shrugged, taking a sip of your beer. “It’s way better than it was a few days ago.”
“Good,” he nodded before clearing his throat. “So? Sammy, you got anything?” 
His brother was scrolling the internet in search of a new case when something caught his attention. “Dude.”
“What?” you and Dean asked in unison.
“The Hell House.”
***
Emergency vehicles and officials hurried about, interviewing witnesses and wheeling out a stretcher with a body bag on it. The sinking feeling you got from the Hell House returned to your stomach as you and the boys approached it.
“What happened?” Dean asked a bystander.
“A couple of cops say a girl hung herself in the house,” explained the bystander. “She was a straight A student with a full ride to UT, too. It just don't make sense.” He walked away from the two of you.
“I don’t understand,” you started. “How could we’ve missed something?”
“I don’t know,” Sam shook his head. 
“Back to the drawing board, I guess,” Dean sighed.
You waited for the emergency vehicles to clear out and allow you and the boys the ability to get another look at the house. Two cops remained guarding it, though, to which Sam commented, “I guess the cops don't want anyone else screwing around in there.”
You and the brothers were crouched in the bushes, trying to plan how to get in the house. You then heard whispers that caught your attention, and turned to see Ed and Harry clunkily approaching with cumbersome backpacks and gadgets covering them from head to toe.
“You gotta be kidding me,” Dean grumbled. “I got an idea.” 
You shot him a confused look while he stood a little taller and cupped a hand to his mouth. “Who ya gonna call!”
You almost burst out in giggles at his stupid reference. 
“Hey, you!” one of the cops called and took off running in the direction of Ed and Harry. The two guys turned and sprinted away. Well, sprinted as much as they could with their heavy packs.
You and the boys rushed into the abandoned house, passing each other weapons from the duffel bag. Dean was transfixed by the symbol on the wall. “Where have I seen that symbol before? It's killing me!”
“Yeah, me too, but we don’t have much time,” you urged him, slapping a shotgun in his hand and pulling him further into the home. You headed down to the basement and took in your dust-covered surroundings. You could feel your allergy beginning to get aggravated while you looked around.
“Hey, Sam. I dare you to take a swig of this,” Dean grinned, holding up a jar he found on one of the shelves.
“What the hell would I do that for?” scoffed the younger brother.
“...I double dare you.”
Sam just shook his head and continued walking.
You flinched and grabbed Dean’s arm at a sound coming from within a cabinet. Dean looked to you and back at the cabinet before the two of you took either side of the cabinet’s doors. At Dean’s nod, you threw the door open. Rats inside it squeaked and scurried away from the light of Sam’s flashlight. 
“Arghh!” Dean yelped. “I hate rats.”
Sam scoffed. “You'd rather it was a ghost?”
Dean considered, but nodded. “Yes!” Dean suddenly looked up at something above your head, and you shrieked at the sight of an ax nearly hitting you squarely on your forehead. Dean yanked you away just in time and shielded you with his body protectively. He shot at the ghost of the tall farmer wearing a colorless straw hat that wasn’t at all deterred by the rocksalt. He shot once more, but it was still there. And then the final time, Mordechai disappeared.
“What the hell kind of spirit is immune to rock salt?” Sam questioned frantically.
“I don’t know! Come on, come on!” Dean urged you and his brother. 
You ran toward the stairs, and Mordechai smashed his ax down through the shelves right next to your head. You raised your gun at him and shot multiple times, praying it would work. Nothing worked, and you narrowly missed another swing of the ghost’s ax before you fled.
“(Y/N), let’s go!” Sam called, running ahead of you. You and the boys sprinted out of the door of the house, only to be met with flashlights and a camera in your face.
“Get that damn thing outta my face,” Dean commanded before hurrying away again. You and the boys left the Hell House in the dust. 
“You okay?” Dean asked you when you returned to the car.
You tried to catch your breath, slumping into the backseat. “Holy shit,” you muttered. “I think so. You?”
He nodded. “Fine.”
“But Dean.”
“Hm.”
“You’re sweet, but I don’t need you to protect me. I can hold my own,” you told him.
Dean scoffed. “It’s a misogynistic ghost, (Y/N). I’m obviously gonna be a little concerned.”
You smiled fondly, but held your position. “I know. Just… I can handle it. You don’t have to worry about me.”
He just grunted in response.
***
The next day, you and the boys were hanging out in their motel room. You and Sam were at your laptops researching while Dean sat on his bed scribbling in a notepad.
“What the hell is this symbol? It's buggin' the hell outta me. This whole damn job's buggin' me. What was with those slit wrists? I thought the legend says he hung himself.”
“That’s what you’ve been scribbling all this time?” You looked up from your laptop. “That symbol?”
“Yeah,” Dean answered. “But seriously, what the hell is going on here?”
Sam jumped in, saying, “And the ax too. I mean, ghosts are usually pretty strict, right? Following the same patterns over and over?”
“But this mook keeps changing,” Dean added.
“Exactly. I'm telling ya, the way the story goes... wait a minute.”
“What?”
“Someone added a new post to the Hell Hound site. Listen to this. 'They say Mordechai Murdock was really a Satanist who chopped up his victims with an ax before slitting his own wrists. Now he's imprisoned in the house for eternity.”
“What the fuck?” you questioned, sliding Sam’s laptop over to yourself. “How the hell is he changing?”
“I don't know,” Dean broke in, “but I think I might have just figured out where it all started.”
***
Your next stop was the music store Craig worked at.
“Hey Craig? Remember us?” Dean asked the teen who was organizing records.
“Guys, look I'm really not in the mood to answer any of your questions ok?” Craig answered.
“Oh, don't worry. We're just here to buy an album, that's all.” Dean flipped through a stack of records, and you looked over his shoulder. You suddenly realized where he was going with this. He picked up a Blue Oyster Cult album, and you nodded in acknowledgment as you put together the symbol had been the logo for the band.
“You know, I couldn't figure out what that symbol was, and then, I realized that it doesn't mean anything. It's the logo for the Blue Oyster Cult,” Dean said, putting the album on the counter across from Craig. “Tell me Craig, you, uh, you into BOC? Or just scaring the hell outta people? Now why 'n't you tell us about that house. Without lying through your ass this time.”
Craig sighed. “Alright, um. My cousin Dana was on break from TCU. Ah, I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do. So I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it would be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So we painted symbols on the walls; some from some albums, some from some of Dana's theology textbooks. Then, we found out this guy Murdock used to live there so we— we made up some story to go along with that. So they told people, who told other people. And then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just took on a life of its own. I mean I, I thought it was funny at first but... now that girl's dead! It was just a joke, you know. I mean, none of it was real, we made the whole thing up. I swear!”
You knew he hadn’t meant any harm. “Okay. Thank you.”
You and the boys left an emotional Craig standing at the counter. 
“If none of it was real how the hell do you explain Mordechai?” Dean asked.
“I have no idea,” you responded.
***
The next morning, you and the boys headed out to get some breakfast and coffee. Sam was shifting uncomfortably every few seconds in his seat. “What’s your deal, dude?” you asked.
His response was a grimace before he explained he thought Mordechai might be a Tulpa. “Okay, so there was this incident in Tibet in 1915. Group of monks visualized a golem in their head. They meditated on it so hard they brought the thing to life. Outta thin air.”
“So?” Dean said.
“That was twenty monks. Imagine what ten thousand web surfers could do. I mean, Craig starts the story about Mordechai, then it spreads, goes online. Now there are countless people all believing in the bastard,” Sam replied.
“Now wait a second. Are you trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?”
Sam shifted again. “I don’t know, maybe.”
“People believe in Santa Claus— how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?” Dean remarked.
“ ‘Cause we’re bad people,” you remarked. Dean seemed convinced by your answer.
“And because of this.” Sam turned his phone to you and Dean to show you a photo of a symbol on one of the walls of the Hell House. “That's a Tibetan spirit sigil. On the wall of the house. Craig said they were painting symbols from a theology textbook. I bet they painted this; not even knowing what it was. Now, that sigil has been used for centuries, concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So people are on the HellHounds website, staring at the symbol, thinking about Mordechai… I mean I don't know, but it might be enough to bring a Tulpa to life.”
You shrugged. “That would explain why the bastard keeps changing.”
“Right, as the legend changes, people think different things, so Mordechai himself changes. Like a game of telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn't work.” Sam shifted at least five separate times in his chair as he spoke. 
“Yeah, because he's not a traditional spirit,” the older brother continued. “Okay. So why don't we just, uh, get this spirit sigil thingie off the wall and off the website?”
“Well, it's not that simple. You see, once Tulpas are created they take on a life of their own,” Sam explained.
“Great. So if he really is a thought form, how the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?”
“Well, it's not gonna be easy with these guys helping us. Check out their homepage.”
Sam showed you and Dean footage from two days ago. “Since they've posted the video, their number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone.”
“Great,” you muttered. “But I have an idea. C’mon.” You got up from the table and began heading away.
“Where we going?” Dean questioned.
“To find a copy store.”
Sam got up and began to follow you. “Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something.”
Dean laughed and walked after you.
“You did this?!” Sam called.
The only response he got was a laugh from his brother. 
“You're a friggin jerk!”
“Oh yeah!” Dean pumped a fist in the air.
***
After you hit the copy store to carry out your idea, you and the boys found Ed and Harry’s trailer park residence and rapped against the door loudly.
“Who is it?” Harry’s voice called.
“Come on out here guys, we hear you in there,” Dean called back. When the door opened, Dean looked over the two men’s shoulders. “Ah, would you look at that! Action figures in their original packaging— what a shock.”
You snickered,but nudged him. “Be polite.”
“Guys, we need to talk,” Sam said. 
“Yeah, um, sorry guys. We're ahhh, a little bit busy right now,” Ed responded. “But pretty lady, if you’d like to stay—”
Dean cut him off, gruffly saying, “Okay, well, we'll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website.”
Ed laughed. “Man, you know, these guys got us busted the other night, spent the night in a holding cell—”
“I had to pee in that cell urinal. In front of people. And I get stage fright,” the other goon chimed in.
“Why should we trust you guys?”
“Look, guys. We all know what we saw that night; what's in the house. But now, thanks to your website, there are thousands of people hearing about Mordechai,” the brunet explained.
“That's right. Which means people are gonna keep showing up at the Hell House, running into him in person, somebody could get hurt,” Dean continued.
“Ed, maybe he's got a point, maybe—”
Ed cut his friend off. “Nope.”
“No,” Harry said despite his position moments earlier.
“We have an obligation to our fans, to the truth,” Ed stated.
“Well I have an obligation to kick both your little asses right now—” Dean’s face hardened, and you could see Ed and Harry nearly shit themselves.
You pulled his arm back. “Just forget about it,” you told him. “You could bitch slap ‘em both, I could tell them that thing about Mordechai, but they’re still not gonna listen. Let’s just go.” You turned away.
“Whoa! Whoa!” the guys called after you. “What’d you say about...?”
“Hang on a second here,” Harry said. “What thing about Mordechai, you guys?”
“Don’t tell ‘em, (Y/N),” Sam said.
“But if they agree to shut the website down, Sam—”
“They're not going to do it, you said so yourself,” Dean chimed in.
“No wait. Wait. Don't listen to him ok? We'll do it. We'll do it,” Ed said, stepping closer to you.
You sighed. “Look, it is a really big deal, alright. And it wasn't easy to dig up. So only if we have your word that you'll shut everything down.”
“Totally,” Ed nodded.
Dean handed over some paperwork you’d doctored at the copy shop reluctantly. “It's a death certificate. From the '30s. We got it at the library. Now according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound.”
“That's right, he didn't hang or cut himself,” added Dean.
Ed’s eyebrows shot up. “He shot himself?”
“Yep. With a .45 pistol. To this day, they say he's terrified of them,” you said.
Dean continued explaining. “Matter of fact, they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds, it'll kill the son of a bitch.”
Ed and Harry snickered gleefully. Harry spun around and bolted back to the trailer. Ed followed more slowly. 
Once they were out of earshot, you held up crossed fingers to the boys. “Here’s hoping.”
***
You and the boys were waiting for Ed and Harry to put out the bogus story you’d given them at a diner later that evening. You sat in the booth between Sam and the wall, and looked over at his laptop while he reloaded the page repeatedly. Dean sat across from you and his brother, pulling the cord of a plaque on the wall of a fisherman holding a big fish. The fisherman’s mouth moved up and down when Dean pulled the cord. 
You pulled it again to stop it. “If you pull that damn cord one more time, I’ll kill you.”
Dean sent you a challenging look and pulled the cord again. You pulled it again in response.
“Come on, sweetheart, you need more laughter in your life. You know, you're way too tense.”
“What! I do laugh!” you pouted.
“Not as much as this guy.” He pulled the cord again.
You pulled it to stop it for a final time. “Don’t try me.”
Dean sighed. “They post it yet?”
Sam turned the laptop around to Dean. “We've learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdock has a fatal fear of firearms. Alright. How long do we wait?”
“Long enough for the new story to spread,” replied Sam, “and the legend to change. I figure by nightfall, iron rounds will work on the sucker.” Sam lifted his beer and you and Dean lifted yours as well. The three of you tapped them together.
“Sweet,” Dean said. He took a long swig of his beer and Sam grinned. The older of the two tried to put his beer down, but it was stuck to his beer.
Sam cracked up, as did you, and Dean stared at his brother incredulous. “You didn't.”
Sam continued to laugh and held up his tube of super glue. “Oh, I did!”
Dean shook his hand trying to get the beer off and turned his aggravation to you. “You knew about this?”
You felt guilty, but said, “Hey, I told you, I’m Switzerland in this prank war.”
“Oh, it’s on, sweetheart.”
“Dean! I didn’t even do anything! I’m Switzerland! Look, I’ll even help you get it off your hand, okay? Stop pouting.”
Dean grunted, “Fine.”
***
Dean bought the laughing fisherman from the diner and brought it to the woods beyond the Hell House later that night. You wrapped the cord around a rock to weigh the pulley mechanism down to lure the cops away from the house.
You entered the house on alert with your gun drawn, Dean trailing just behind you. “I barely have any skin left on my palm,” he said snarkily.
“So you think Mordechai's home?” you asked as you entered another room.
“I don't know,” Sam answered.
“Me either,” a voice said from behind you.
You wheeled around and pointed your gun at the source of the sound. 
“Whoa! Whoa!” Ed said.
“What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?” you yelled.
“We're just trying to get a book and movie deal, ok?” Harry said.
“Motherfucker—” You were cut off by the sound of knives being sharpened coming from the basement. Your guard immediately went back up. 
“Oh crap,” Ed said. “Don’t worry (Y/N), I’ll protect you.”
“Oh, get off me, dickhead.” You shrugged his hand off your shoulders. 
He crowded way too closely behind you and followed you and the brothers to the basement door. 
“Ah guys, you wanna— you wanna open that door for us?” Ed grinned uncomfortably.
“Why don't you?” Dean turned to him, shooting daggers at him.
Mordechai burst through the door at that moment, holding an ax and screaming. You and the boys began emptying your gun chambers into his stomach, but the guns had no effect on him. You then swept the other rooms in search of Ed and Harry.
“What the fuck, didn’t you guys post that bullshit story we gave you?” you asked them when you found them.
“Of course we did,” Ed scoffed.
Sam and Dean appeared behind you.
“But then our server crashed,” Harry explained.
“So it didn't take?” Dean asked rhetorically.
The two men exchanged looks and murmured to themselves.
“So these, these guns don't work.” Dean laughed coldly and raked a hand through his hair. “Great. Sam, any ideas?”
“We are getting outta here,” Harry said. “Come on, Ed.”
Harry and Ed ran past you and Dean to the other room. You noticed Mordechai’s apparition following them before you heard two girlish screeches coming from their direction.
“Hey! Come and get it, you ugly son of a bitch,” you told the ghost.
“Gladly,” Ed said, not realizing you were talking to Mordechai.
You grabbed the hilt of the ax as he tried to take a swing at you, pushing against him with all your might. You were then pinned against the wall, the ax across your throat and constricting your airway, 
“Get out of here, now!” you told Ed and Harry. They sprinted out of the door as you struggled against Mordechai, who lifted you up in the air by the ax.
“Guys! Help!” you screamed.
Moments later, Dean appeared. He held up a spray bottle and lit it, making a plume of fire appear.
“Get out of here, now!” Dean told you. You ran past him. You met Sam in another room, clutching your throat.
“You okay?” Sam asked you. He stooped to get eye-level with you.
“Yeah,” you choked out. “Peachy.”
Dean sped into the room next to you. “Mordechai can't leave the house, we can't kill him— We improvise,” he said. He held up his lighter, flicked it, and threw it back into the room behind you. It burst into flames, and you ran after the boys outside.
“That's your solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground?” Sam asked incredulously.
“Well, nobody will go in anymore. I mean, look, Mordechai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt. It's fast and dirty, but it works,” Dean replied simply.
“Well, add arsonists to our rap sheet,” you said. 
“What if the legend changes again and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?” questioned Sam.
“Then we'll just have to come back,” Dean shrugged. 
You turned back to the house and watched it burn.
“Kinda makes you wonder. Of all the things we hunted, how many existed just cuz people believed in them,” said Sam. You looked back to him, amazed at how he could be profound in the midst of your situation.
***
You and the boys made one last pit stop by Harry and Ed’s trailer park before you were planning to head out of town. The two guys in question came over to your picnic table carrying grocery bags.
“I was thinking that Mordechai has a really super high attack bonus,” Ed said. “Man, I got the munchies right now.” He turned to the boys. “Gentlemen. And m’lady.”
You cringed. 
“Should we tell 'em.” Harry could barely contain his gloating.
“Hey, might as well, you know, they're going to read about it in the trades,” Ed smirked.
“So this morning we got a phone call from a very important Hollywood producer.”
“Oh yeah, wrong number?” Dean snorted.
“No, smart-ass. He read all about the Hell House on our website and wants to option the motion picture rights. Maybe even have us write it.”
They put grocery bags into their completely overloaded car. 
“And create the RPG,” Harry added.
“The what?” Dean asked.
“Role playing game,” came Ed’s simple reply. “A little lingo for you. Anyhoo, ah, excuse us, we're off to la-la land.”
“Well, congratulations guys. That sounds really great,” Sam nodded.
“Yeah. That's awesome, best of luck to you,” you said.
“Oh yeah, luck. That has nothing to do with it. It's about talent. Sheer unabashed talent,” Ed grinned. “And you…” he sauntered up to you. “...Call me. You could have a bright future in film.”
You forced a smile at him.
“Later, baby,” he grinned. He got in the car next to his buddy and sped away.
“I have a confession to make,” Sam said as the three of you watched them drive off.
“What's that,” prompted Dean.
“I, uh… I was the one that called them and told them I was a producer.”
You and Dean laughed. “Yeah, well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat,” the latter snickered.
“And I may have been the one to put the cops on ‘em about the Murdoch house fire. And the fact that they don’t have a license plate on that car. Or on their camper.”
Dean and Sam burst out laughing at you. You joined in with them.
“Truce?” The brunet turned to his brother.
“Yeah, truce,” he answered. “At least for the next hundred miles.”
Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @davina-clairee @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @stephshaww @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @here-for-the-extravaganza @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @rei0812 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @more-espresso-less-depresso-og @mysticmyth
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archangeldyke-all · 3 days
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Hiii this is my first ever ask so I'm kinda nervous!! Would you be willing to do a sevika x submissive masc reader? I don't really see any fics with her and a masc reader especially a bottom reader.
I absolutely love your writing, It's amazing!!! 🫶
sure! i'm going to combine it with this other delicious smutty ask i got too:
Sevika breaking the headboard with her hand (flesh or mech, which ever you prefer) while she’s tribbing reader? I think the lack of season 2 is messing with my brain
men and minors dni
it's no secret that sevika finds you irresistible. almost everything you do manages to turn her on at least a little bit, and she's always sure to let you know when she wants you.
but sevika goes feral for you when she catches you doing housework. especially if you're sweaty.
like right now. you've just finished mowing the back yard, and while it only took thirty minutes, the sun was so hot you've sweat through the white wife-pleaser you stole from sevika's side of the closet this morning.
you're chugging a glass of cold water, hunched over the sink when she finds you. you don't even hear her until it's too late and she's right behind you-- smacking your ass. you choke on your water and spin around, glaring at your wife. she grins.
"i can see your tits through that thing." sevika giggles, looking down at the now-sheer white top over your chest. you giggle.
"good thing our yard's fenced in. otherwise the neighbors woulda got a peek too."
sevika's hands are on your waist, and she's slowly pushing you backwards toward the bedroom as you talk. you don't even try to stop her-- this is the best part about cutting the grass: your reward.
"i'd kill them." sevika huffs, pouting at the thought of someone else seeing your tits. you laugh again, and the back of your legs hit the mattress. sevika shoves you down, then tackles you, hovering over you on all fours. you smile up at her.
"well, you got me where you want me. whaddya gonna do now?" you ask. sevika smirks down at you, then she ducks down and licks up a bead of sweat sliding down your throat.
you shiver, and she reaches up to run her fingers through the short-shaved sides of your head. you hum happily below her, melting into her touch. she licks your earlobe, then whispers in a low voice, "now i'm gonna fuck you 'til you're crying, baby." the breath you let out is shaky, and sevika smiles at the sound. "sound good?" she asks.
you grin and nod beneath her, and she snaps into action.
within ten seconds, sevika's got you both naked, and she's shoving you up the bed, not struggling in the slightest to manhandle you right where she wants you. it makes you dizzy.
"fuck, sevika." you moan. she giggles.
"you're so cute, babe." she laughs as she weaves her legs between yours, holding your calf against her chest as she hovers her cunt over yours. "i just gotta throw you around a bit 'n your cunt's already fuckin' soaked." she teases, smiling down at your pussy. you whine.
"just-- c'mon, sev." you grunt, wiggling your hips and trying to make contact with sevika above you. she just laughs as she watches you struggle.
"say please, baby." she whispers. you huff, glaring up at your wife.
"please, sev. don't you wanna fuck me? don't you wanna make me cum?" you whine, trying to turn the tables on her a bit. it works. sevika's eyes roll back as she grunts at your words, sinking down against you and starting a slow grind. you both whimper as she starts moving.
"fuck, baby." sevika grunts. "you don't got a fuckin' clue what you do to me, do you?" she asks.
you giggle beneath her. "well, i got a bit of a clue. your cunt's soaked." you tease. sevika grins.
"'s what you do to me. shit-- watching you work out in the yard, your arms out and sweaty--" she cuts herself off, whining. you giggle again, reaching up to pinch her nipples. her hips stutter as she whines, and you can feel her clit pulsing against you.
"shit, sev, you're really worked up, aren't you?" you ask. she whines and nods down at you.
"was watching you the whole time." she admits. you burst into giggles, most of them cut off by whines as sevika fucks you faster. "fuck-- 'm gonna cum baby." she grunts.
you gasp, reaching up to grab her hips and help her grind against you. "fuck, sev, cum on my cunt baby, i wanna feel it." you whine, grinding up into her.
sevika collapses forward, trapping your leg between your bodies, one of her hands coming up to support her weight on the headboard, the other balancing herself by your head. she keeps letting out these sweet whimpers, grunting and whining in your ear as she slides her cunt against yours.
she's fucking you so hard and fast that the mattress is creaking beneath you. you're both so wet that getting any real friction is hard-- and you watch in adoration as sevika whines and struggles to fuck you hard enough to cum. she's so close, you can tell, her eyes are shut, her lip is trapped between her teeth, and her arm above you is shaking.
you reach back and claw at her ass, and she gasps, freezing for a moment, before her eyes snap open, she glares down at you, and she starts fucking you like she's trying to break you in half.
there's smacking kissing sounds coming from between your legs, sevika's grunting with each swivel of her hips, and you're so close to cumming you can't even make noise.
and then, "jesus fucking christ!" sevika falls apart.
her cunt soaks yours as she shivers, and you cum at the feeling of it. her hips don't falter their movements-- in fact, they speed up as she chases her high and tries to work you through yours.
the sounds of your smacking cunts and shared whimpers is suddenly interrupted by a loud CRACK! and sevika promptly falls right on top of you with a yelp.
you burst into out-of-breath laughter against sevika's stomach as she tries and fails to push herself back up on her shaky arms. "what the fuck just happened?!" you giggle.
sevika finally manages to push herself off of you, and you groan as your wet cunt is exposed to the cool air-- no longer protected by sevika's. she blinks up at the headboard, then groans.
"oh, fuck."
you tilt your head up to look behind you, and burst into laughter when you see sevika's split the wooden headboard down the middle.
"holy shit!" you laugh. "babe-- that's fucking awesome!"
sevika groans. "fuck. that's the third time!"
you can't stop laughing. you guys specifically bought the solid wood headboard so sevika wouldn't be able to snap it mid-sex. it looks like you might have to upgrade to metal. sevika huffs, trying to ignore your giggles, but eventually she smiles at the sound, laughing along with you.
"you were really worked up, huh?" you ask. sevika shrugs bashfully, and you flop over to lay on top of her, nuzzling against her neck.
"you look so fuckin' handsome bein' my perfect little housebutch." she says, shrugging. you snort against her neck.
"what's that make you, then?" you ask. she shrugs.
"i'm the butch-winner. like breadwinner, get it?" she chuckles. you snort, then smack your lips against hers.
"ten minute nap then we're showering and going to ikea for a new headboard." you mumble, shutting your eyes and nuzzling against her.
she hums. "deal."
taglist!
@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676 @vixel352
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mochathelion · 16 hours
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hey goopers and gunkers, here is, drumroll please
All of them council quotes from my quotebook (ft markiplier)
"Your blood is worms" -slimecicle
"Eenie meenie miney fuck you" -gillion tidestrider
"This is not the becoming of a prince. This is the becoming of a monster" -shilo bathroy
"I have a lot of opinions, none of them matter" -chip
"You must have confidence in yourself peter. Only then will you slay pussy like you slay gods" -thanatos
"IM GONNA MIGHTY BLOW YOU" -slimecicle
"PRETZEL! JUST A FEW MORE FEET PRETZEL! ITS NOT EVEN A MULTIPLE OF FIVE PRETZELLLL!" -gillion tidestrider
"I've never met God, but when I do I'll break him." -William wisp
"Great rune of the unborn? What is that, like an abortion perk?" -slimecicle
"What if you were like oh let me just check if the floor is real and you kicked it one day and it just disappeared, you'd probably be like of fuck I shouldldnt have done that" -slimecicle
"What do you really want? And just say it so I can fight for it" -gillion tidestrider
"Welp, you know what they say! When life gives you wolves, kill them. Also what? " -slimecicle
"Oh my Lord I smell estrogen" -slimecicles chat
"I'm beans mother fucker" -slmccl
"I'VE MET WAR CRIMINALS MORE DELIGHTFULL THAN YOU" -bizlybebo
"Two Mommy?"-Gillion Tidestrider
"This Jesus guy seems really cool!"-Gillion
"I can't wait to k*ll myself!" -Jay Ferin
"That girl just bit me. and I think I was into it?"-Jay Ferin
"If you zoot one more time im gonna choke you."-Rumi
"…Zoot~"-Peter
"Yippe"-Dakota Cole
"I'm just gonna kms and its gonna be your fault!" -Bizly ooc
"Ahhghduhiejbagci wa"-Kian Stone
"Julian the groomer… has a nice ring to it" -julian
"Its.. sewer ravioli!"-Dakota
"i didn't really think destiny was a thing before i met you, you know everything i had in life was just kinda a shitty hand . i really think it was you that made me feel like we were right where we were supposed to be, you're my friend you know- id drown the world for you" -chip
"CPR THREE LETTERS, WHAT DO THEY MEAN? COMBAT. PATIENT. REPEATEDLY. KICK HIM THREE TIMES GET HIM BACK UP, HE'S GOOD. CURED. Think he had cancer, not anymore" -slimecicle
"That must have been a slant rime because she seemed pretty tilted" -slimecicle
"Be the beans you wish to see in the world" -slimecicle
"A vagina with fangs? Bitchin… What? It sounds stimulating" -grizzlyplays
"Even If it was all inevitable… I'm glad we were written into the same story" -Gillion Tidestrider
"Niklaus is making a deal with russian Goku rn"-Bizly i believe ooc if not Chip
"PRIME DEFENDERS AT THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION" -William Wisp
"Fuck my fucking gay ass life" -condifiction
"SKIBOMBAY" -gillion tidestrider
"I WAS DRINKING YOU PRICK" -bizly
"He looks like a stop sign and has an ass disorder Its not my fault" -William wisp
"Dude you've GOTTA get advantage on this, dude is built like an among us" -slimecicle
"Beans. Beans. I grow my own beans. They are local and they are green. If you taste them you won't be mean. Come on now and try some beans. If you mean business, then trust my bean business. Have a legume, it won't be your doom. Have a legume, you will enjoom. I see your attitude is kind of mean, but you know what cheers me up? My beans. I grow em in the garden, they don't grow far from my home. Beans. I'm in the BEAN ZONE." -slimecicle
"WHAT THE FUCK??!!! FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S?!??! AEEEEEE AEEEE AE AEEE" -slimecicle
"NO NO NO NO YOUR NOT REAL GO AWAY! AMOUNGUS????!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD" -slimecicle
"I am weaponless but not defenceless" -slimecicle
"Don't play the game, eat the dirt, win." -slimecicle
"FATHER, SON, HOLY TROUT COME ON GET US THE FUCK OUT" -gillion tidestrider
"I WILL ABSORB THIS DEMONNNN. IT IS MY MEALLL!" -dakota cole
"You underestimate the power of SEX" -slimecicle
"aHgiA- FORTNITE" -slimecicle
Demonic rambling -slimecicle
"People will say eating chicken nuggets is bad for you, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS BAD FOR YOU? BEING A LITTLE BITCH. WHAT ARE YOU SPONSORED BY SALAD?" -grizzlyplays
"That's right I got two extra hearts and a wooden sword what the fuck are you going to do about it god" -charlie slimecicle
"I'm grabbing bed knife and I'm grabbing bed spear and I'm duel wielding that shit" -markiplier
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devilart2199-aibi · 20 hours
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You are the weird Hermitcraft to Transformers pipeline that I’ve found myself on so thanks XD
Since you’re currently reading idw 1 how are you liking Chromedome and Rewind?
(I’m only reading mtmte so I’m not exactly sure how far along you are since you’re reading the entire collection oop)
Yes yes that is me! You're welcome! and Sorry to bring you along on my spiral into madness (aka Transformers lol) 😂
I really like them both!!! I gotta say I'm a sucker for the fully masked bots so I was curious about them right off, and then I came to enjoy their personalities a lot. They are both interesting characters! Rewind is so silly 🧡
Reading the whole collection is quite a bit...🤯 But I'm here for it! haha. For mtmte tho, I feel like I've barely scratched the surface! 💀 I was recently considering just reading mtmte in it's entirety, but I do like the breaks between stories, gives you a bit to think about them, plus just incase the other stories might tie in eventually.
For where i am; I'm just starting issue 14!! I'm not gonna say anything bc i don't wanna spoil stuff since you're reading too! I hope you enjoy it!!! :D
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thestupidhelmet · 2 days
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Jackie/ Hyde, Dare!!
D 30: Dare, Jackie/Hyde
After the truth or dare circle in "Substitute" (6x19), where Hyde chose pass to Jackie's truth and dare: saying that he loves her, she confronts him in his room.
Jackie: Steven what was that? Just last week, you thought I was beautiful in a wedding dress. Now you're too much of a wimp to admit you love me?
Hyde: No love confessions in the circle, man. Same as no kissing. If you'd asked me to admit I like Styx or some lame band like that, I would've gone with dare -- but freakin' dare me to bench press Mitch or eat a bag of frozen peas.
Jackie: Those things have nothing to do with me. They're just about you showing off.
Hyde: Everything's gotta be about you?
Jackie: Do you even know me?
Hyde (to himself): Ask a stupid question ... (To Jackie) You can't corner me like that, okay?
Jackie: Well, maybe if you ever told me you love me while we're not broken up, I might not feel like I have to corner you.
Hyde: I've said it.
Jackie: You said you missed me calling you puddin' pop. And that you're miserable with me, which was code for happy. But not that you love me.
Hyde: Can't you tell?
Jackie: Can you?
Hyde: That's a dare.
Jackie: If that's how you need to look at it.
Hyde: Jackie, truth is ... I'm not gonna let anyone get between us. Or use the truth to hurt what we've got. Kelso's wrapped up in his pregnant girlfriend, but I still don't trust that kid.
Jackie: Do you trust me?
Hyde: Yup. But everyone outside of us, people are always lookin' for vulnerabilities.
Jackie: Not everyone out there is your horrible mother. If Eric and Donna tease you for admitting you love me, so what? Be Zen. The only people who can hurt us are us.
Hyde considers Jackie's words. Then he grasps her hand. "Let's go."
Jackie is confused, but she follows Hyde into the basement. Eric, Donna, Fez, and Kelso are watching TV. Mitch is gone.
Hyde: Hey, since I passed on my turn during truth or dare, I'm gonna take it now.
Eric, Donna, Fez, and Kelso turn their attention on Hyde.
Kelso: I got this! Truth or dare?
Hyde: No, man. Jackie already asked me. (He faces Jackie.) Truth and dare: I love you, all right? You'll never have to question that again.
Donna: Aw! You are so whipped!
Eric: And crazy.
Fez: I think it's sweet. ... Does anybody have some M&M's?
Kelso: It is sweet. Because I totally did it with the girl you love, and I can burn you with that for eternity. Burn!
Hyde's muscles tense, but Jackie says to Kelso, "Actually, Steven can burn you for all eternity because he makes the woman you cheated on a hundred times incredibly happy. And he's a far better lover than you ever were."
Eric, Donna, and Fez: Burn!
Jackie: I'm not done. Michael, you had to hop from woman to woman because of how bad you were in bed -- and in relationships. Steven is so good at both he only needs one woman, and I only want him. The only reason you stopped harassing me and hopping around is that your "love nectar" infected Brooke with a little you --
Gently, Hyde tugs Jackie toward his room. "You made your point."
Jackie (shouting as Hyde gets her inside his room): Michael, I dare you to be faithful to Brooke for --
Hyde closes his door.
Jackie: -- eternity!
Hyde: Feel better?
Jackie: Mostly. Do you still love me even though I wasn't Zen out there?
Hyde: If anything, I love you more. You verbally kicked his ass!
Jackie, touched, kisses him. They make out on his cot (and probably do more, but let's give them their privacy).
Jukebox Ask Game
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lobsterfork · 11 months
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i unapologetically, unironically love crush. like it tries so hard to be anti-spuffy but david fury was a FOOL to think that the line "I'm drowning in you, Summers" wasn't going to irreparably alter my brain chemistry. that Spike almost falling over himself to open a door for Buffy wasn't going to make me positively unhinged.
literally the only thing i don't like about this episode is fury patronising the audience with his ham-handed, puritanical Hunchback analogy.
but it's fine, 'cause buffy didn't do the reading.
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iceeericeee · 6 months
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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mokeonn · 5 months
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I'm playing bg3 again and trying out the honor mode (which as it turns out, might be a bad idea if you never beat the game in general, much less beat it in tactician mode) and I have been confronted with the fact that I absolutely have dnd race favoritism and it absolutely is contributing to my need for many many bg3 saves because I constantly think "hmmm I want to try playing as a deep gnome to see if I get special dialog with Barcus Wroot, the Iron hands, and the underdark" before picking Drow for the 4th time.
#simon says#to be fair!!!#for my honor mode run I picked half-elf drow heritage because I liked the male face shapes more#and also because picking a Lolth Sworn drow for the 4th time would be a sign of a problem#if you want to know what option number 2 is for character creation is when I think 'i should pick something other than drow' it's halfling#i love halfling characters I love halflings I love the adorably sweet dialog options you get and I love how the game is in a new camera#like it's so fun talking to small characters and having them just look at you normally but having every large character look down at you#it makes every threat 100 times more threatening#someome threatens you and you're a big ol dark urge dragonborn? yeah okay bud. I got acid breath we'll see who wins here#someone threatens you and you're a fucking tiny little wild mage halfling who just spent the last hour telling Lae'zel to be cordial?#yeah I believe that threat. they could absolutely just pick me up and run off with me right now and the most I could do is accidentally fog#if you wanna know default number 3 if I dont wanna be a drow and halfling is just no cutting it?#dragonborn#in actual dnd I have never played them because there's so many other races I default to (like tiefling which is 4 in this list)#but in bg3 they're just SO fun to make and look so cool#it goes in order of special favorite little cultists > special favorite little combat avoiders > the most fun thing to make and play#and finally tiefling. i don't have much of an explanation besides the fact that tieflings are fun and I love their plot relevance in bg3#but yeah dragonborn is absolutely the most fun to create in character creation and very fun to play#but I gotta choose my special little guys with nothing in common#do I pick a dark elf choosing to leave the cult of lolth to be good? a dark elf who is still Lolth's special little baby girl?#a dark elf with nothing to do with the underdark since their parent left who has lived a surface life and doesn't like cultist association#or do I pick a halfling who's here to be as cordial as possible and find the funniest ways to avoid combat#I was considering having a halfling for my honor mode because I thought romancing Halsin would be fun#but I decided a drow because avoiding the goblin combats without using the tadpole is a HUGE plus#and also because I had used the best halfling hairstyle on my other halfling and I didn't want to just make the same guy twice#anyways I still need to do like every other race and class soon so I can get the fun dialog#but here's the tough truth that funnie pony artist number 32 really loves Drow and Halflings so so so much
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sisterdivinium · 5 months
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I did some gushing over WN on Dreamwidth for the Snowflake Challenge if anyone is interested.
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keeps-ache · 7 months
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'you're too technical' no i'm not!! you're using the wrong phrase and the wrong words and equivalating two things that are nearly complete opposites and/or irrelevant to each other !!
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luvevee · 1 year
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Idk maybe it's fine to accept Sada and Turo are just really shitty parents who neglected and abandoned Arven instead of pulling the shortest straws in an attempt to make them seem like they were just sad workaholics who got too caught up in their work like a bad hallmark movie
#like honestly seeing the straws pulled on my dashboard is like...really?#'oh they had two pictures of him!!' they had a picture of him as a toddler and the other was of his dog#by a cabinet full of their trophies and a messy eating area btw not by their bed#'oh well ai said-' ai literally felt so bad for that kid that they felt like they had to make him feel loved by them#and even arven knew it was bullshit and told them to stop#'oh well-' he's referred to as ''the boy'' in their PERSONAL journals that right there shows they don't love him#arven having basic necessities doesn't mean they loved him it's that they knew how to make sure he didn't starve to death#he literally learned how to cook BECAUSE they weren't there so they even failed on that part#you can't say you love your child just because you give them food and clothes and a place to sleep that's REQUIRED of a parent#like wow they have ONE WHOLE PICTURE of arven when he was like 6 they must love him so much /s#literally arven is so traumatized by how he was neglected and abandoned why are excuses being made for his adult parents#i think it really reflects how some people who turned to pokemon as an escape see their own relationship with their parents#because yeah i def know what that's like to be given basic care and not the emotional parts of parenting#and it means people have to confront some shit that's pretty heavy#listen you having basic things like a place to sleep clothes and food doesn't mean you were loved#if your parents were constantly absent/only saw you when they wanted something/always talked about work/were never there for you/etc-#then that's something you gotta talk to your therapist about#treating your kid like a pet store fish isn't love and arven was treated like a pet store fish#people gotta realize that if you feel the need to make excuses for his parents what excuses you're making for your own or other parents#because damn realizing that stuff hits like a brick#this is a rant because arven's issues hit really hard with me playing through the game#and it's big bruh moment seeing people trying to take copium for sada and turo#they're shitty parents end of story#like it's not rocket science tbh but damn therapy is a thing some people need for how far you're reaching for some love between them all#there wasn't and there's not. the two pictures aren't 'evidence' of love#just like damn#rosebud posting 💐#pokemon#pokemon sv spoilers
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supercantaloupe · 1 year
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i kinda think that any portrayal of don giovanni and leporello’s relationship is incomplete if it doesn’t acknowledge that there is both genuine friendship/affection between them AS WELL AS abuse and hatred. they contain fucked up multitudes
#especially if you're taking it out of the fundamental/essential context of like.#16-18th century servitude and class dynamics#like esp if you're 'modernizing' it (which i do think is fine if you Do Something with that concept)#there's like. gotta be a reason they do all this shit together#ESPECIALLY if you're moving away from the literal patron/servant roles of the time period in which it was written#if leporello isn't like. legally and financially Required to do everything the don says then i think it's kind of lazy if you don't#acknowledge another facet of the relationship that makes it plausible#that could be gay love. if that's you bag. whatever#but personally i think there's both an element of leporello looking up to the don as an impossibly charismatic figure#and actual genuine friendship. like if they spend that much time together they have to enjoy each other's presence A Little right.#why wouldn't the don just fire him and get a new servant then if not right#(i also think leporello gay but i don't think that plays as much of a role as some fics out there seem to)#and i think the don has some real affection for leporello. that's his little buddy that's his partner in crime that's his roomie#but they are not equals. there is not mutual respect there#and yeah i'm always a fan of making relationships more fucked up and complicated and even codependent/abusive for fun#(see again whatever the hell is going on between curly and jud in dan fish oklahoma. my beloved)#but in the case of don giovanni i think it's not just making shit up for fanfic fun but like. there's textual basis here#and i think productions and fics and analyses and whatever else tend to swing in one direction or the other#but i think both elements are present in their relationship and both are important#sasha speaks
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classicintp · 1 year
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Can't stand it when professionals have objectively bad takes but they're legitmately professionals and you're just some guy. You recognize this, you acknowledge it, you even appreciate it in the appropriate context, but it's so fucking infuriating. Even if the professional is humble and concedes to your point, which is usually not going to happen to even the humble in general unless it's a correction directly being witnessed, you still have their diehard fans demonizing you because you proved their idol wrong (even if you weren't pompous or obnoxious about it, just the idea that their beloved expert was human and made an error drives them mad). So I white-knuckle it and say nothing and then log into Tumblr and blurt it out in the tags.
#the popular cat behaviorist Jackson Galaxy#he is right about 99% of things‚ arguing with him is not smart#he has my respect! he has brought so much education to blatantly ignorant owners#but he has spent so much goddamned time with traumatized‚ abused‚ neglected cats that#all of his general advice not directed to a specific pet or stray still draws from those behavioral problems#he has a YouTube video of 7 things you should never do to your cat‚ the seven deadly sins he calls them#things like don't declaw your cat‚ don't annoy them for social media content#great advice in that video#except number 4: don't force interactions#of course on the surface i think most people would interpret that as#if your cat is clearly trying to get away from you or trying to flatten themselves into a 2D shape when you reach out for them don't do it#and I'm sure he also means that#but he instead directly says like don't approach your cat laying down minding it's business and pet it's head#don't give your cat a little love squeeze as you pass by while they nap on the couch#to only ever pet and interact with your cat when they approach you#and that's great advice for a skittish cat that has PTSD or just nervous around people in general#it's ridiculous advice however for cats that don't constantly hide when humans approach#If your cat has it's wittle tongue out during a nap and you just gotta squeeze them‚#and when you do so you're always met with purrs and them pushing their head further into your palm for more#then it's not a forced interaction‚ or it is but they ENJOY it and then follow you around when you leave#like‚ I've raised over 30 cats in my life from just borns to adults. it doesn't touch the number Galaxy has raised#I get that. but it's not dead experience just because Galaxy has more experience and is successful. it's still valid experience.#but me going 'well actually' to a professional while I'm just offering anecdotal experience is never a good look#anyway my point is if your cat doesn't mind being randomly interacted with when it's sitting around then don't stop#ultimately he was right to put it in a video. if it helps people recognize a problem with their cat treatment then more power to him#but I only know the video exists because of someone quoting it an argument they were having#so now people really believe you can't pet or boop or squeeze your cat if it's just hanging out minding it's own business#that you have to sit and wait and hope the cat comes to you first.#someone should tell other cats that because they sure as fuck don't wait to bonk heads with their sleeping roommates#op
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diluc33rpm · 1 year
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What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? 2/3
someday. someday when we look back on it all, against the low tide of the collapsing world, the meteors will fall and extinguish us in a blazing fire and i'll have finally stopped whoring myself for anime men built with the consistency of saran wrap
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