#I don’t think top or Boston are true villains
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Leverage Season 2, Episode 6, The Top Hat Job, Audio Commentary Transcript
Dean: Hello I’m Dean Devlin, Executive Producer.
Christine: I’m Christine Boylan, one of the writers.
Peter: Peter O’Fallon, Director.
John: John Rogers, Executive Producer.
Scott: Scott Veach, the other writer.
Chris: Chris Downey, Executive Producer. And this is the Top Hat Job.
John: See, I was hoping we’d pretend that there were like twelve more people [All Laugh] in this, like, baffling list. Uh, the Top Hat Job was born actually of two things. One, Scott Veach, who’s a name you haven’t heard before on the show, came in as a freelancer to pitch a magician show. And at the same time, Tim Hutton had said that he would like to play a magician.
[Chris and Christine Laugh]
John: And Tim makes very few requests of us, so it seemed like not a bad idea. The question is, of course, well, how would you go about doing this? Um either Christine or Scott, can you tell me where we got the villain from?
Christine: Uh... where did- where did we get the villain from?
John: I think it was-
Christine: Uh, was a-
Scott: Oh, yeah.
Christine: -magazine article. Again, I believe Albert Kim brought that into the room-
John: Yes.
Christine: -a lot of these, this season we all had a hand in everything and I love that. Albert brought in this article about a foods company that was knowingly putting out salmonella-laced meals, frozen meals on the market and we were just really upset.
John: As a matter of fact, the really ridiculous villainous thing we have this guy say, which is, ‘You’re supposed to cook it to this temperature. It’s on the package; that’s why we’re not liable’ is something that company actually said-
Christine: Completely true.
John: Without mentioning the fact that even in their laboratories, they could never get it that hot.
[All Chuckle]
John: So these guys, the real life villains, are far worse than the enormously cartoonish evil guys we have in this show.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: And now, who’s this actress?
Chris: This is, uh, Jennifer, uh… Skyler.
John: Chris always has the cast list, thats-
Chris: Yes, I got my cast list right here. This is Jennifer Skyler, she’s a local Portland actress, and tried out and was fantastic.
Peter: She did a great job.
John: Now Peter, this, y’know, I think this is another one we really cast almost entirely out of Portland, right?
Peter: All but the bad guy. I think the bad guy-
Chris: I think so, yeah. I think-
Dean: Yeah, yeah.
John: What was it like working with, like, the Portland humans, Peter?
Peter: Overall it was pretty good. We had a little bit of uh, well, you know, and it turned out very well, thank you.
[All Laugh]
John: We got a state grant on the line here, Peter, so don’t screw this up for us, man.
Peter: No, she was- she was great, she was uh, she did a really good job. The concept was to try to add as much pressure to her so that you’d have compassion for her, and as you can see right where we are right now, she does a very good job of it.
John: And during the uh, during the... um, horrible credit sequence we all hate.
[Christine Laughs]
John: And I can say that, ‘cause it’s the DVD, they’ve already bought it.
Peter: Saga sell.
[All Laugh]
John: Yeah, it’s the saga sell. That’s actually, you know Pete, it’s the first time somebody’s brought up the phrase ‘saga sell’. Uh, who wants to define the ‘saga sell’ for the nice folks?
Peter: That was uh, I did the show The Riches and that was the bane of our existence, was trying to sell what the show is about, that’s what the saga sell-
John: In thirty seconds you have to remind new viewers what the show is about, and annoy old viewers.
Christine: Wow.
John: And now, why is this scientist drinking? Someone tell me that.
Christine: Because her last name is Jameson.
[All Laugh]
Christine: You’re welcome.
Chris: I believe that was your addition to the- to the character, wasn’t it? I mean-
Christine: I do like naming characters, yes.
Chris: She was initially known as ‘plucky research girl’, I believe?
John: Science girl. Plucky science girl.
Christine: Many variations on that.
Chris: And then a lot of the- there was a big cry out in the development of the story: “more plucky science girl!” And I think Christine, you added the little wrinkle that she likes to— likes to drink a few.
Christine: She does like to drink a few. I’m a big fan of uh—
Peter: Drink a lot.
Christine: Yeah, she does like to drink a lot. Um, I’m a big fan of victims who like to get involved and crusade a little bit and we hadn’t had one in a while, so getting her involved was a lot of fun.
John: It’s always tricky, because the victim, in theory, you don’t want to endanger these innocent people who’ve always been in some sort of danger, but if you don’t check in with them or don’t make them present in the story, they disappear.
Christine: But she’s plucky, has no discernible friends or family, and is a drunk, [All Laugh] so I think it’s okay that we go ahead and, you know, put her in danger.
Peter: And we decided on the set to have her play that— she’s playing really, uh, she really enjoys Tim’s company; would like to be with Tim a lot more than she’s letting on.
John: Well, you know, Tim’s a dreamy guy, right?
Christine: He is.
John: You know, when I use his photo and pretend to be him on the internet, I do very well.
[All Laugh]
Scott: I do that same thing!
John: Yeah, exactly, there’s a lot of guys pretending to be Tim Hutton on the internet, so if you ever get something dirty from Tim Hutton on the internet, it might not be him.
[All Laugh]
Christine: The actual Tim Hutton [unintelligible].
Chris: Interesting thing in his little reaction here. When I was watching this, it really, it took me back to Ordinary People because, remember him playing flustered, in Ordinary People, around the girl?
John: Yeah.
Chris: It’s very much, you see it on his face right here.
Peter: Little nervous.
Chris: It’s kinda right there-
Christine: Yeah, there’s an ‘aw shucks’ quality to it. I love it.
John: And it was interesting because, trying to get the Sophie character, trying to reconcile like what was going on here, was the understanding that they had screwed up whatever they’d kind of had first season. And so this is the phase where, you know, even if Sophie doesn’t necessarily want to see Nate off with somebody else, she knows he has to at least have some sort of human relationship—
Christine: Mhm.
John: — that this isolation that he’s engaged himself in will eventually, you know, isn’t healthy, and it is, as a matter of fact, what eventually destroys him over the course of the second season.
Christine: Mhm. Spoiler. [Laughs]
Peter: And she’s also trying to uh—
John: I think people know it’s not ending well. [Christine Laughs]
Peter: And she’s trying to break his balls a little by leaving him there alone.
John: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And that’s great, that’s— this take goes forever.
Timestamp: [5:00]
Christine: Yeah, he has this nice uncomfortable beat.
John: And still—
[All Laugh]
Scott: Ooooooh…
Peter: Well… so… uh.
Christine: Been on that date.
[All Laugh]
Peter: What about them Yankees? How ‘bout those Yankees? [More Laughter] So, you gonna make a move there, son? [laughter continues]
John: So—
Peter: No, I’m not.
John: No, no. Aaand thank you, sir.
Christine:And, leave the bottle.
John: Another drink.
Chris: One more drink.
[All Laugh]
John: Yeah she’s gonna be very lonely, looking like that, drunk, in a bar in Boston. She’s not gonna do well. Uh, this is actually interesting. Now, Scott, you wrote a big chunk of this sequence, if I remember correctly. This is interesting, this is not something we usually see on the show; uh, why don’t you tell us about it?
Scott: You mean where, where they’re failing?
John: Yes. But Scott—
Scott: They never fail!
John: Scott came in and made the characters you love suck. Now Scott, explain why you did that.
Scott: [Laughs] Uh, yeah. No, but it was, you know, I think it was a, it was a group idea. But it was- the idea was it’d be really fun to see them get overconfident, and to see what happens when, you know; it’s usually, they’re so good at everything that they do, what happens when that sort of falls apart and how do they react? And so we thought it’d be really fun to see what that looks like.
John: How did you— how many takes to get him to balance the damn ball on his forehead?
Peter: We stuck it to his head. [John laughs]
Christine: Aww, that’s adorable.
Scott: There’s some, there’s some tape under there.
Peter: The other one too, is a- the- the bandana on his head is covering a scar—
Christine: Oh, yes, he is.
John: Oh, this was this episode.
Peter: — that was left because, in one of the fights he got caught and got stitches.
Chris: We’ll get to that; that’s a good story there.
Christine: This is the one, yeah.
Peter: So we added the scarf to cover the stitches.
John: Yeah, and it’s also, it’s interesting because it is- it is something they’re doing, and you know, when he says after Tim walks in, you know, there’s no blueprint fairy. The idea is, this scene, all this act here, is what happens in act zero of every other show. Like in every other show, they’re doing this, they’re showing up as pizza guys, they’re getting sketches of buildings and stuff, we just never bother to see it because this time they, they—
Dean: Actually this particular scene here was not actually, was not in the episode—
Scott: Oh, that’s right.
Dean: — when we came in, when we came in short, [All Laugh] we added this scene, and one of the things I’m so proud about is that it seamlessly goes into this scene, which was part of the show—
Chris: That I could not believe.
Dean: And it actually ended up adding a very nice-
John: The other side of the door, that first side of the door was shot how many months after the- this side of the door?
Dean: About a month.
Scott: Probably a month, it was probably about a month. And see if you can track, uh, Gina’s pregnancy there.
[All Laugh]
Scott: It’s an interesting thing.
John: Yeah, it’s really— you’re kind of in a medium-close there. There she’s okay.
Christine: She’s glowing, she’s gorgeous.
John: She is glowing.
Peter: We decided to give Tim a lot of movement here because the concept is, he knows it’s all gonna go bad—
John: Yeah.
Peter: — they don’t.
Scott: He’s convinced it’s gonna go bad; he’s gonna sit down and wait.
John: Well, in the research, it was a little stunning. When we started investigating these food companies, because, you know, in the show it’s always, how do you have a threat? And uh, the scale— the amount of money that these guys throw around, is truly boggling, and the depths to which they will go to cover up their maleficence is uh, it’s… they’re not putting people in shallow graves, but they’re ruining people’s lives.
Peter: Did you notice his name?
John: What’s that?
Peter & Christine: Oleg.
John: Oleg, why?
Peter: I dunno.
[All Laugh]
Christine: Damn sexy name.
Scott: Yeah, I don’t think that was in the script.
John: I like that it’s “Super Hot Pizza”, because you wouldn’t want to buy another kind.
Dean: But I also notice that this- this entire sequence, the camera never stops moving, and it— just love the way you use the camera in this sequence.
Peter: Try to keep the heat going on, the pressure.
John: Now when you’re planning on shooting something that cross cuts between two to three situations, I mean, you know, are you trying to match actual camera left-to-right movement? Or do you just keep it in motion and assume that when you’re cutting it that’s gonna play?
Peter: I try to match it, right-to-left. You know, the idea was that Tim’s static, and he’s just sitting there doing, uh, you know, he’s confident about what’s going on while the rest of them are panicking.
John: He’s Reed Richards back there, he knows.
Scott: It’s like his version of TV, to watch this.
Peter: Exactly.
John: Nice fight, by the way.
Scott: By the way, this was literally maybe twelve hours after he’d gotten stitched up, he did this fight.
Peter: If that, yeah.
Christine: He is a superhero, seriously.
Peter: He takes it very seriously.
John: I always say, shit kicker is genetic.
Dean: And I think that’s our first ‘in the nuts’ shot of the series.
John: I think it is.
Peter: I like to do those nut shots.
Christine: Nice.
John: That was in your contract.
Dean: And I love the whole Parker thing here, this whole Parker exchange here was just inspired.
John: Yes, her idea of witty banter just doesn’t quite cut it.
[All Laugh]
John: But yeah, neither one really gets it.
Christine: Who put Parker in the glasses? A+. She looks great.
John: Thanks for bringing the lesbian vibe tonight, Christine.
Christine: You know, I’m here, you know, I’m representing all kinds of people.
Chris: Here’s another shot.
John: Nice green screen. Have you not seen that nice green screen? Nice green screen shot. Um yeah, there’s a lot of green screen in this one actually, just because there’s a lot of Parker hanging places.
Dean: I love this Aldis ending here, trying to, like, put a good spin on it.
[All Laugh]
Peter: And Aldis was quite at adding little quips here and there, and the fun stuff.
John: Yeah, a lot of— by this point, these actors know these characters well enough that, you know, a lot of times you’re just trying to get out of their way when they’re on pace.
Peter: This was a note that Chris gave me, which I loved, which is that they’re, like, children.
Timestamp: [10:00]
Chris: They’re siblings.
Peter: And Tim’s the father.
Chris: And Dean, you were here for this, I believe—
Dean: I was here for the poking.
Chris: And I think that I gotta give you credit for kinda, getting the whole poking thing. You know, ‘Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.’
Dean: Yeah, we just wanted to get that vibe of ‘Daaad.’
[All Laugh]
Peter: ‘He’s bugging me, stop it!’
John: The ice thing we actually established early in the season; the idea that they’re constantly raiding Nate’s apartment for the tools- his life has turned upside down, at some point, three AM, he will wake up and they will be in his apartment, like, bandaging themselves up with his stuff.
Christine: Eating cereal.
John: Yes, eating cereal. He has not had ice for a drink in, like, four months; it’s all for Eliot’s bruises.
Scott: ‘She’s poking me!’
[All Laugh]
Peter: ‘Leave me alone, dad.’
Dean: Love it.
John: Now, this whole section where they introduce how we get the information because these guys couldn’t get in, uh, Erik with a ‘k’.
Christine: Always evil.
Peter: I love the reaction with the ‘k’, too, here, that she’s uh, ‘I didn’t know that.’
[All Laugh]
Dean: And she goes, ‘Everyone knows that.’ [All Laugh] And he’s like, ‘What the fuck?‘
Christine: I got a lot of weird Facebook messages after this aired, by the way, from Eriks with ‘k’s.
John: You actually get all three character’s attitudes flawlessly there, which is: Parker just lives in a slightly different world, it’s about ten degrees off of everyone else; and Sophie treats her like its just, oh, I didn’t know it was that way in your world; while Nate, Nate is the only sane man in an insane world.
Chris: Here, look at this, we gotta give credit to Apollo Robbins, here. Apollo gave us [unintelligible].
Dean: I love this camera work, I love this idea of attaching the camera to the packet.
John: What is it? Is it just a button cam, or…?
Peter: Eh, we just attached the camera with a c-stand onto the box itself.
John: Oh cool. Um, that whole trojan horse thing comes from Apollo Robbins.
Chris: Apollo Robbins, our consultant, gives us all kinds of, you know-
Peter: And you will see a short little cameo of him in the back in one of the scenes.
John: Oh cool!
Peter: We’ll point him out.
Chris: We’ll talk more about him later.
[All Laugh]
Peter: Oh that was a great idea. Speedos are always good.
John: But there’s a hacker conference in vegas called DefCon every year, and that year, the trojan bluetooth cellphone happened to be the big thing of that year, so we ganked that. Um, you know, we really should, like McGuyver, leave out one crucial element, because we have taught people to do fairly horrible things on this show, and only later do we realize, oh we…we taught them exactly how to do that.
[All Laugh]
John: We should have rethought that.
Dean: Oops.
John: And then they’re talking about the horrible corporate meeting.
Chris: I think that was- Albert Kim, who worked at Time Warner and their magazines for many years, introduced us to the state of the company meeting, where they often have magicians. That was, kind of, what brought the whole episode together.
John: And remember, I had done a bunch of those, and that’s why as soon as Albert said that, I was like oh god, I actually did one of these shows when they announced layoffs right before I went on.
Christine: That was a great day in their world.
Peter: Well that’s a tough room.
Chris: Because folks, surprisingly, to do a show - a heist/con show involving a magician, is not the easiest thing in the world.
[All Laugh]
John: No, really, oddly enough.
Chris: When that’s your mandate…
John: Yeah, we don’t usually start backwards like that, but you know what, this actually turned out pretty coherent, considering.
Dean: I love this whole magic bit here, I think this was inspired.
Christine: This kid’s great.
John: This guy is so- now why are they dressed like fif- by the way, Parker and Hardison here are either, a) dressed like a fifties’ couple or b) like the couple from Thriller, from the horror movie Thriller.
Christine: I thought b), I thought we were going for that-
Dean: They are college kids.
John: They’re college kids, is that how the flappers are dressing now?
Chris: This is Tim Gouran as Chronos.
John: [wheezing] Chronos… Oh the nipple rings are horrifying.
Christine: They’re fantastic.
Peter: The guy does- the guy’s channelling...what’s his name?
All: Chris Angel.
Peter: The way he does the movement, and all of that, we asked him to just study him and go wild with it.
Christine: I remember his audition tape; made me laugh.
Peter: I love that she’s reluctant to go up to the- first she goes, ‘Oh no no no, I don’t wanna go-’
Christine: ‘No, I don’t like magic-’
John: God, he’s so cheesy- oh man, and then him showing her exact- and that’s the- it’s interesting that the entire show’s, kind of, about trade secrets. Because you know, the whole idea is the advantage these characters have is, they know how these tricks work, which is a trade secret. Wow, that’s a really creepy look.
[All Laugh]
John: “Silence!”
Scott: Oh, he was great.
John: I almost enjoy this sequence more without words. Seriously, I’m like half a Guinness in and I’m loving this.
Chris: And kudos to the assistant, giving the bored reactions.
Peter: She’s just bored out of her mind.
John: I believe that’s actually in the script, right? ‘Even his assistant doesn’t like him.’
Peter: ‘That’s my girlfriend; that’s her up there, quit looking.’
Chris: A lot of great ad libs here from them.
John: Again, this is one of those places where when it’s, you know, Aldis and Beth, you just kinda get out of their way, and you assume it’s gonna work out.
Timestamp: [15:00]
[All Laugh]
Dean: This guy is so great.
Christine: We’re all just watching him.
John: I almost want to bring him back now; now that I’m watching this again?
Dean: He’s so over the top; it’s awesome.
Christine: Can we please bring him back? He’s adorable.
Peter: And once again, kudos to our magic… what’s his name again?
Christine: Apollo.
Peter: He helped him out with all these, how they do it.
Chris: He designed the box. I mean he did so much; he added so much to this episode.
Peter: That was a mistake, and it was hilarious, you know, with the sword; she grabbed it and pulled it in, and I thought it was hilarious.
John: No, I’m actually- I’m friends with David Ackroyd who designs tricks for Penn & Teller, and the whole, sort of, the loathing for stage magicians that these guys have is hilarious. Oh, the eskimo kisses. And the rings. Yup, I think we went through a whole day of, like, looking at tricks and seeing what could malfunction in the most annoying way.
Christine: That was an odd day of YouTube clips, I’ll tell you. We went down the rabbit hole there.
John: No odder than usual, really.
Christine: No odder than usual, it’s true.
Chris: I love the way this actor dropped the character at one point, like “stop it!”
John: That’s really, that’s dark, ‘cause now I can actually- now as he runs off-
Peter: ’Is there a surgeon? Is there a surgeon?’
John: Like, with Parker actually trapped in the box still, nice. And, another innocent human destroyed in our quest for justice.
Christine: Not so innocent. Not so innocent.
John: Yeah, that’s true.
Christine: He was sexually harassing his assistant, I believe it says in the text.
Chris: Here’s George Castillo, who’s playing Dan Markland, head of security, who is our bad guy’s henchman.
John: He’s the Busey. We can say Busey, Busey is the word we use all the time-
Peter: And here’s Tim, having fun.
Christine: Oh no.
John: If you haven’t heard the first season DVDs, the Busey is based on Gary Busey’s character in Lethal Weapon.
Dean: Are those Apollo’s hands?
Chris: Those are Apollo’s hands.
John: Uh, who is the thug who brings physical violence so that the main bad guy doesn’t have to. Yes, that’s Apollo doing the close up stuff. Although Tim did a little bit of it; Tim really got into it.
Dean: Oh, he was into it.
Peter: And again, Tim handled this so well, the idea that the- they just start pushing away and go through it all- they just start pushing their way in.
John: Yeah, exactly. Well, that’s the, you know, all of heist and confidence shows are just, just keep it moving so people can’t ask questions.
Dean: And carefully placing Gina behind the box.
[All Laugh]
Peter: She’s always carefully placed, you’ll notice.
Christine: We couldn’t have laundry in this one, so we, you know.
John: What is Beth- what is Beth wearing?
Dean: This got more and more obvious as the season went on.
Peter: I’ll bet.
John: Beth is like Neil Gaiman’s Death back there.
Christine: I know, I love it. Again, A+ Parker look right here. Just, all these Parker outfits are terrific.
John: And it’s interesting, it’s really interesting because you got, everyone’s got a very distinct look; in particular I love Aldis in the suit, as the engineer, as the kind of like.. you know, you can totally see how that character lives his life. He dresses up, he goes to these shows, he’s actually based- that character’s based on a British fictional character called Jonathan Creek, which is a British mystery show about a guy who designs magic tricks. He’s not the magician, he’s the guy who designs the impossible and he solves impossible crimes, and you know, when you have five humans, coming up with a role for everyone to play, never easy. That’s why Chris is actually in the box.
Peter: Oh, this is the rabbit gag.
Christine: Oh, the rabbit. I love the camera work here.
Chris: And this is all one shot, watch, watch this.
Dean: This is a beautiful steadicam shot.
Peter: Our steadicam operator was, uh, a bit nervous when we started, but- except for this.
Dean: Oh, this is awesome; one of my favorite flashbacks.
John: Now this- And we have not done a lot of the flashes this year-
Christine: Look at their face. [All Laugh] That’s great.
Scott: That was my mom’s favorite moment.
Christine: “It’s not the same thing.“
Chris: And the rabbit’s gone.
John: That was actually written as just an anecdote, and then we hadn’t done a flash in so long, it’s like, you know what, what the hell, let’s bury a kid.
Dean: And what’s the story with the girl who played Parker? Wasn’t there a story behind that? That she didn’t get to do that part in a different episode?
Chris: I think that’s right, she got cut out earlier.
John: Yeah, she got cut from the MMA one, the flashback of Parker’s first concert. And then, so instead, we gave this one where we buried her alive, in a backyard in Vancouver, Washington.
Christine: That girl’s adorable.
Chris: Backyard? That was a public park.
[All Laugh]
Christine: Buried a girl alive in a public park.
Peter: Marc Roskin shot that, by the way.
Chris: Yes, Marc Roskin did a fantastic job shooting that.
Christine: Only on Leverage.
Chris: That’s how accommodating they are in Portland.
John: ‘Hi, uh, listen, we’re the film department. We’d like to bury a twelve year old girl alive in a public park, if you can-’
Christine: ‘Great, great, we’ll get you a brunette, we’ll get you a redhead-’
Peter: I actually had a bet with the location department, because I’ve been all over the world shooting, where you could never dig a park up. In Portland you can.
John: No, they’re very happy to have us there.
Chris: We have eminent domain powers in Portland.
[All Laugh]
John: ‘We’re here seize your home.’ ‘What?’
Scott: We’re like diplomats.
John: To be fair, we couldn’t have made this year without Portland. I mean, seriously, the locations we got?
Peter: No.
John: Oh yeah. ‘Where’s the rabbit?’ Nice running gag, by the way, I don’t believe that was in the script?
Peter: No, that was just [unintelligible].
Chris: Nah, that came up on set.
Timestamp: [20:00]
John: Nice. You didn’t actually lose the rabbit, did you?
Peter: No. No white rabbits were harmed filming this show.
John: Now, have you shot a con or heist show before?
Peter: Uh, I did The Riches.
John: The Riches, yeah. So— but that’s almost more of a character piece, than a— ‘cause they, they’re, he’s running a long con, but not—
Peter: Yeah, big tycoon, he’s lying to everyone all the time.
John: Yeah, exactly. Was there any—
Peter: Not quite this… this…
John: Yeah this is more heisty, y’know, was there any prep you did coming into this, just like looking at stuff, or, uh-? I’m always curious, because we have different directors come in, it’s a very different kind of show. It’s not like, say, ER, where it’s the hospital, there are doctors—
Peter: Everybody runs a steadicam shot all the way through.
John: Yeah, exactly.
Peter: No, actually, I just uh— I watched the, like, five shows that Dean had sent me, and in the big picture I got the idea, I mean the concept. Also, I love that Tim wanted to do the magic so badly that we ended up writing, what, four or five more pages that we shot for days on end. But it was great; it was really fun. And for me it was all movement; the whole show is about movement.
John: Yeah.
Peter: And we added a whole bunch of guards everywhere so, I wanted to have an extra pressure all the time, so every time they step around the corner there’s more security people walking around, so it appears as though—
Dean: I love this guy, who played the uh, the CFO.
Christine: Oh, yeah.
Chris: This is, uh, Jack Armstrong, another local Portland actor.
Dean: This bit was great, what was the story behind this bit?
John: I actually dropped this one in the script based on a guy who had been driving around, um, San Francisco with a RFID receiver, ganking people’s passport numbers out of their pockets. He was, like, driving around in a car, and the RFID chips were giving off enough of a signal that he could read their data as he drove by.
Peter: God.
John: So getting your car to do it was a piece of cake. I mean, getting your phone to do it at that range, eminently believable. That is one of the things about this show, is you spend an awful lot of time telling America they’re nowhere near as safe as they think they are.
[All Laugh]
Peter: This uh, this gag in the elevator, uh, the giant bar broke, and damn near took off… uh, who’s head?
John: Aldis?
Peter: Aldis, and Chris, actually. Both of them.
John: No, don’t hurt Aldis. I mean Chris, has the shit-kicker genes; he heals in like a day. Seriously he’s got some weird Wolverine stuff going on, but now, don’t bang Aldis up, man. You know, that’s weird, that happened on a pilot I shot in San Diego. They had a wire rig for two thousand pounds, had two hundred and twenty pounds of people on it, snapped, put them through like fifteen feet; dropped them right through the ceiling of a hut they were supposed to fall through. Now luckily, they were supposed to fall through the hut, so we got the shot.
Peter: Right.
John: And they were fine. [Laughs] But the point is—
Peter: Well, we had one take, we had one take of this, that’s it.
Scott: Yeah, this is it.
Peter: Luckily it worked really well.
Dean: Oh this is great, uh, falling through the, uh…
Chris: The elevator shaft.
Dean: The elevator shaft. Now part of the- this gag actually came because of TNT, right? What was the story behind that?
Chris: TNT said, ‘How come the in the script it just has him falling up? And we suggest her falling through the elevator shaft.’ And we said, ‘Well, if you’d like to pay for a shot of them falling through the elevator shaft, [All Laugh] we’d be happy to shoot it.’ And credit to TNT, they did.
Dean: That’s so great.
Peter: And I love– again, they’re arguing like — they’re back at arguing like kids, about who goes out and what they do and how they handle it.
Dean: Yeah, I love Eliot’s one, it’s like, ‘Who wants to be me? I punch people.’
Chris: ‘I get punched and kicked.’
John: That’s it. That is his lot in life, man, and he knows it.
Peter: And this was actually a auditorium from a large corporation.
John: Yeah. This is how they do those shows, man; those shows are death. They’re a lot of money, but they are death.
Chris: Hook it to something. There we go.
John: Now you shoot— Now, when you’re shooting up, this is green-, this is all computer generated right?
Chris: There we go.
John: But when you’re shooting up through the top of the elevator, was that green too, or—
Peter: Yes. I love his reaction here.
John: Yeah. And down.
Dean: I like the little pause, though. Like, everything’s okay, and then, Bugs Bunny.
John: It is Bugs Bunny, isn’t it?
All: Woah!
Dean: And that is digital debris, my friends.
Christine: Wow.
John: That is digital debris. So let me get this straight - we dropped digital pieces of cardboard, but we used a giant bar to lift our actor and slam him against the top of an elevator.
Peter: And slam him hard, too.
John: Okay. Good, that’s good, I’m glad we got our priorities straight.
Chris: There was a little smile from Aldis there because it was just so fun. I mean it was like, we couldn’t— and we only had one shot at it. I mean, you really wanted him to be scared, but it was just too impossible when he got pulled to the ceiling.
Peter: And we decided to add this part at the end where they drop.
[All Laugh]
Dean: “You didn’t see that coming, seriously?”
John: We actually, uh, it was a big debate this year, and most people watching the DVD might now know Jeri Ryan, until she shows up, when she would get her ‘seriously?’, because being allowed to say ‘seriously’ is part of the whole ‘you’re part of the team'.
Timestamp: [25:00]
Christine: On the writing staff, too.
John: Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Peter: Where did Erik Casten come from, the name?
John: Uh, clearances. [Laughter] Seriously man, we accuse people of such horrible, actionable crimes, we absolutely will.
Christine: Well what do we say, K's are evil?
John: K's are evil.
Christine: S's, P's, you know, things like that. And so I, you know��
John: An F or a Ph, that's usually evil.
Christine: I like to work with sounds, when we're naming.
Scott: Oh here he's covering his scar there, too.
John: Yeah.
Scott: If you guys are paying attention, he puts his hat back on.
John: And again, it's, it's—'cause we just did the commentary for The Order 23 Job, and this is another one where it's just, you just take Aldis and Chris, you let them be annoyed with each other, and you set them off on a separate plotline. And that will bring you amusement.
Peter: Yes. Mark Roskin shot this scene also, because my wife was having surgery.
John: Oh I'm sorry, is she okay?
Peter: Yeah, she's fine. God bless you guys though, it's the only time I've actually been able to leave. [All Laugh] 'My wife's having surgery.' 'Sorry, you can't-- have to stay.'
John: Well, Marc Roskin directed, uh, MMA, the MMA job which is on the set of discs and everything; he's actually our Producer/Director up there, who stayed up in Portland. So he picked up a lot of-- he shot a lot of stuff. We're... we shoot in seven days when we should really shoot in, oh, ten. Right?
Christine: Everybody gets to work with Rosky, that's uh, that's the way it goes.
John: That's the tradition. Uh, which hack is he doing right now?
Chris: I think this is when he hacks into the camera.
John: Oh, as he hacks into the remote camera.
Chris: He hacks into the remote camera.
John: That's another thing we—
Dean: Yeah this is when we decided to have that— the camera on his belt buckle allowed them to see what he was doing on the computer.
John: The phone camera.
Dean: The phone camera.
Christine: Right.
John: Also eminently doable. It's a bit cludgy, but you can- you can do it.
Peter: Tim's bombing here, which— we decided to give an arc here-
John: See, this is my question, because Tim's bombing, alright, and that's what I found delightful, is the fact that Nate Ford is finally not good at something.
All: Right.
John: What was the audience thinking? These are Portland extras, they've been told they're seeing Tim Hutton, did he just go up and suck, or did you tell them he was going to suck?
Scott: No, they were—
Peter: We told them that—Uh, we stood up and we showed all the uh, audience reactions, and Tim was up there with me and I was yelling out 'Okay now he really sucks; no, he really, really sucks' [All Laugh] 'No, he's boring', and they would all get really bored.
Chris: Now here were these real tricks that Apollo Robbins taught them to do, we did— we kinda had a little magic bootcamp while this filming was going on. And uh, you know these are all things Apollo brought up there, and we choreographed; they just had a ball.
Peter: It was astounding the show still turned out short with the four pages we added there. [All Laugh] Nothing but magicians.
Chris: But, but it's a testament to the pace of this show, I mean you really- it just flies.
John: It's, uh— and she's having another drink.
Peter: More drink.
Christine: Still in the bar.
John: Seriously, we're so—
Peter: Three days later.
John: We're so bringing drunk science girl back.
Christine: Oh, that's right.
John: I love science— I love a good science girl anyways, so.
Scott: Who doesn't?
John: Who doesn't?
Christine: Drunk science girl is just a bonus.
John: Yup.
Peter: Covered his scar again.
John: Yeah. But it's a tricky bit, because you know, your average television script is between forty five and fifty five pages, and because we're an action driven show we just never know where we're gonna land.
Christine: Yeah.
John: Um, that's cosy. [All Laugh]
Chris: That's a great shot right there.
Christine: No comment.
John: Yeah that's, that's a great shot.
Peter: Once again the bad guys walk by.
John: You know what, if they were- if they were really good at their jobs, they wouldn't be working at a food company.
Chris: Eh, now they're starting to get the hang of their magic act, you see things starting to turn around.
John: Uh, and then, oh yeah, we came up with the whole idea— this was the other thing, is, what were the constraints, what you need for security systems?
Peter: This the most— with the check, the chances of us timing this correctly were so slim, and this was the first take. Wow.
Scott: That was perfect.
Peter: Racked to it. And everybody got up at the right time.
John: Nice. You either get that— you know what, that always is a first take, isn't it? It's like, either you get it or you don't, yeah? Um, yeah that was a big part of designing this episode, is, we had to figure out what were the security systems in place, and how they could possibly interact with magic, none of us being magicians.
Chris: Right.
John: Yeah, it was a lot of, uh, a lot of big lists on the board that day. I like how the thing even has a top to hide her, uh, her pregnancy there. The sword thing is even at the right height.
Peter: The background absolutely loved Tim. They thoroughly enjoyed the—they sat there for, I dunno, eight or nine hours?
Christine: Wow.
Dean: I love that. 'No questions!' [All Laugh]
Chris: Yeah, first thing was- was a fingerprint. Okay—
Dean: 'Belieeeve in the magic.'
Chris: —well lets, how would they get a fingerprint if you're a magician on stage? Well okay, this is how. How would we relay it? And it was all... There's a lot of great gadgets here, we have the [Chuckles], you know the handy, uh, Brother P-Touch... [Laughs]
John: Yeah! The Brother P-Touch fingerprint printer.
Christ: The Brother P-Touch fingerprinter which, uh, available at [sounds like: hamburger shlemer] folks.
John: You know what? Again, this is why people underestimate Hardison. He has to have this stuff in his bag all the time. That's why he has the van. The van is there for a reason, people.
Christine: Respect the van.
Dean: Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this was the first episode that we introduced the gummy frogs—
Chris: Yes.
Dean:—which now became a partner with the orange soda as a necessary thing for Hardison at all times.
John: It is required, it is absolutely required for Hardison to have gummy frogs while hacking.
Dean: And orange soda.
John: And orange soda.
Chris: Alright, now they got the fingerprint, now it's smooth sailing, we get to get in. Uh, not so fast.
John: Uh, well they need to get—it's not so fast because now they need the gel.
Peter: I'll never forget when the prop guy said— we started with gummy bears, gummy this, gummy that, and when you said, I think, gummy frogs, and he's like, "You're fucking killing me".
[All Laugh]
Chris: Nope, gotta be gummy frogs.
Christine: They're exactly the right size! They're perfect.
Timestamp: [30:00]
John: It's gotta be frogs. And again, by the way, I've actually seen the video where Bruce Schneier used this exact technique to fool a $150,000 fingerprint scanner.
Chris: Yeah.
John: The type that the TSA uses to secure airports.
Christine: So please try this at home.
Chris: This is a great reaction right here.
John: And that's a great reaction. Just the laser, just the mocking him with the lasers.
Chris: And literally, ‘I'm spinning plates here, I'm spinning plates here while you're asking me for retinas.’ He's spinning plates!
Christine: Doing a great job! Spinning plates. And juggling.
Chris: And the retinas part is, to me, what the show is all about, what Leverage is all about, is that we have to put a CEO in a magic box, to bring him to scan his retinas. That is a whole, whole thing.
Dean: That's my favorite part of this whole episode, that for me... when I read that in the draft, I literally fell out of my chair laughing. I thought that was the funniest bit.
Christine: I think that was our favorite bit to do in the room.
John: Yeah, I must have driven the staff crazy, because I must have said 'They put me in a box' a thousand times.
Christine: It was hilarious. And the fake music cues we would make up, wheeling along...
John: Yeah. Oh, remember the uh, the thing I had was the sound of the box [mimics squeaking] and then we cut to the box. [mimics squeaking] 'Hey, is anybody out there?''
Chris: And this was great, this is Apollo—Apollo figured out how we would do the uh, box switch.
John: Cause the box actually works slightly differently, that's not how you'd usually do it, but he—Apollo invented a version of the trick on the fly.
Christine: For us.
John: [mimics squeaking] Hello?
[All Laugh]
Chris: And this stuff, when we shot this, I literally was crying, I was laughing so hard. We were shooting the stuff of him in the box, the CEO-
John: How did you shoot that?
Peter: We attached a camera again, kind of like the box shot earlier, attached the camera to the box and spun it. But I was surprised, it didn't look like I thought it would. It looks great, but it didn't turn out like I thought it would. But he was great, we spun him around and around, at one point he said, 'I'm getting sick'...
[All Laugh]
John: And all the jokes about bosses here, this is what you do in a corporate show, is when you go, you find out like all the stuff, the name of the boss, and the one who's bad at golf, and you work it into the routine, and oh, man. It's filthy, filthy lucre.
Chris: Here's a beautiful shot I love here, too; there's a shot from behind of the box spinning I just love.
John: And, away.
Christine: The color palette’s great, for the entire show. Looks terrific. Really pops.
Peter: [Unintelligible] to our DP by the way, that was four cameras at once; we shot the whole thing in one day.
Christine: Wow. Dave Connell, superstar.
Dean: I love all these shots, I just love them. And he was great in these scenes. I mean, I totally buy him.
John: We just put him in the elevator. ‘Have a good time.’ Yeah like it's all sort of blue and orange down here, it's all sort of grey and pastels upstairs—
Peter: The crowd loved this gag.
John: Oh yeah.
Chris: And here we go.
John: [Mimics squeaking] It's just funny, I'm sorry, man. You put a CEO in a box... And the uh, did you use a real dove, or no, that was a fake dove all along?
Peter: It was fake. It was a little squeezy dove, that's really kinda cool.
John: There's actually a famous, uh, Penn and Teller famous story, they do magic exhibitions, where people demonstrate their tricks. And there's a youth category, where kids show that they have mastery of these classic tricks, there's one where you, like, show the dove in a cooking pan, and then close the pan and then light the fire and whip it away and there's like a cooked dove in its place? And as the kid did it, he screwed it up, so as soon as he lit the fire, like, a hundred magicians stood up at once and went 'THE DOVE!!' 'cause they all know how it works.
Dean: Oh noo.
John: And he's like the thing's on fire and he's beating it out with his tiny like, his twelve year old magician's coat... 'cause doves are expensive. I mean nevermind the cruelty, but yeah.
Christine: Aw... [Pause] These two need to have their own vaudeville act. I would watch a variety show that they hosted.
John: I like, again, just the constant choices that Beth is making at all times, just like- and she's kind of amused, and now she's bored with this. Ah, she's done, she wants to be breaking into things. Uh, excellent cheesy server room, nicely done.
Peter: It was the smallest room in the known world.
John: Ye—what's that?
Peter: It was the smallest room in the known world.
John: We like to build our sets really tiny.
Peter: It was basically a closet.
John: Yeah, and then this was again always our drive to the [unintelligible] complication.
Peter: Good bad guy, by the way.
Dean: Yeah, he really delivered.
Chris: This bad guy, he was really terrific, Kevin E. West is his name.
Dean: We actually met him through uh, Patrick Jakoni, who's our mixer, who mixes all the episodes of Leverage.
John: Did he have a—did he just bring the headshot in, or....
Dean: He was a friend and he just said "I really want you to meet this guy, he's a friend of mine, I really think he's a terrific actor." And I met him, and I thought he was great. You guys have met him, and—
Chris: Great kind of middle management evil.
John: The banality of evil. He gets a great evil speech of evil.
Chris: He does. Which is a late edition.
Dean: A little shout-out to Derek, who does all of our graphics on all the computers.
Peter: Unbelievable.
Dean: I mean, he does so much for us—
Peter: This is where he hit his head.
John: Yeah, see, no scar there, and then, uh, nothing but scarves afterwards.
Dean: I love this fight too.
John: This, I will—
Timestamp: 35:00
Dean: I love the closed quarter fights.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: I will fully admit, this is, um. I'm trying to remember....
Chris: Look at this. [All Laugh] There's the scene.
John: I'm trying to remember, there's a, it's not a Jackie Chan fight, it's a Jackie Chan produced movie, it's with three actresses, I think it's called So Beautiful, which has an elevator fight, that actually was the origin of this.
Peter: What I like is the 90 degree shutter in all these fights. It makes it feel, like...
John: It's very crisp.
Peter: Yeah. It makes it feel like, like you're missing a frame or something.
John: So what happened? Chris turned around, right, turned around and just smacked his head against the side of the cabin?
Chris: Well, I mean, we passed it, but there's a moment when he throws a punch, and it sort of—you can kinda see the edge, in the frame, and his head just continued into the edge of the box.
Peter: No, we had the— we didn't have the padded one in there. And he went against the hard one. Split it open huge too.
Chris: Seventeen stitches.
Scott: Wow.
John: Seventeen stitches, and then like a week later, pulled them out himself because he was sick of them.
Peter: I think it was actually right here.
Scott: Really?
Peter: I think it was this one. I think it was the last punch, if I remember correctly.
John: Never do the last punch.
Chris: Oh, might have been there, yeah.
John: Yeah, lotta elbows, lotta—I always loved a good fight—what, what is this? This is madness!
[All Laugh]
Christine: It's vaudeville!
John: What the hell was that?
Dean: Something like a Marx brothers movie.
John: I know!
Christine: It's delightful.
John: I'm really waiting for Zeppo to show up to that. I think Gina's Zeppo in this episode. And he's still in the box.
Peter: 'Hello? Hello?'
John: And then this, the getaway with the curtain trick.
Chris: Curtain trick, and this again was, you know, Apollo designed, because, you know, we had in the script, they disappeared in a cone curtain, and he, you know...
John: Well it's actually, it was uh, when I was seven, or something of that age, I saw Bill Bixby do that in The Magician, and it always stuck with me.
Christine: The greatest theme song in the world.
Chris: We watched a little bit of The Magician.
John: We watched a little bit of The Magician, and it has the greatest theme song of all time. If you can go YouTube the theme for The Magician, it's fantastic.
Christine: Our writers’ assistant had it queued up. Becky had it queued up and ready whenever we needed to play.
John: Ohhhh.
Chris: Ohh, gut punched into a chair, that's another kind of recurring theme of season two.
John: Well, it was our Rockford homage.
Christine: Ah yes, the gut punch.
John: Yeah, James Garner spent five years getting gut punched.
Chris: I think this is an iconic shot of this show, I do, it's a beautiful shot.
Peter: And this is Apollo's idea, I think, to put the rabbit back in, too.
Chris: Yes, it was, it was.
Christine: Fantastic visual.
Dean: And I love the way that Aldis plays this scene here, because I- the danger felt real. It didn't feel like, oh comedy villains' fake punch, he's really okay. You know when I watched it, I really felt like wow, we're in trouble.
John: Well Aldis is a very good actor. Yeah. This really also became the year where we kind of established the straight run fourth and fifth act.
Chris: Well this is very much a real time episode. I think three of the five acts were pretty much in real time.
Peter: I like that he talks about the uh, magician's union. You're gonna get a letter from them, I'm telling you.
Chris: And here is the evil speech of evil.
John: Just explaining that if people are stupid enough to eat frozen pot pies without heating them enough, they deserve salmonella.
Dean: That's not a rationale!
John: No!
Chris: That's what happens to people who don't follow instructions. Now I'm giving you instructions.
John: No, he's really selling this, he thinks he's gonna die here, or at least get seriously messed up. And the bad guy, uh, who played the Busey?
Chris: The bad guy was George Castillo.
John: Yeah he was good. He had a good physical menace. And the nice pass, there we go, if you're paying attention. And what I like is that Aldis made a choice there, like, as soon as he saw that—
Peter: Two different locations, by the way.
John: Oh yeah, you're not— that reverse isn’t anywhere near there?
Christine: Oh, nicely done.
Peter: It's like, thirty miles away.
Dean: Nice. Never knew that.
Chris: We coming up to— when we do this flash, about how we got the phone, is a, this right here is an absolutely beautiful shot coming up.
John: I like that he calls him magician too, as if— it's very, like [very dramatically] 'Magiciaan!'
Christine: I'm actually most proud of that line, by the way.
John: Yeah, exactly. It is. It's very Lord of the Rings.
Dean: And a terrific use of the ninja zoom.
John: Yeah, to reestablish that geography we talk about all the time. Um, yeah, and the poker chip, and the turn to the reveal, she’s gonna bump into him, but the thing I was going to say is, Aldis does a moment there where he sees the lift, he knows it’s going to be okay, and his expression changes.
Christine: His whole face relaxes.
Peter: She looks so hot there, too.
John: She does, she looks very good.
Christine: She's rocking the power pony. There's a lot of Parker's power ponytails this year.
John: Parker ponytails?
Christine: The power pony.
John: The power pony, is that what you're calling it?
Christine: That's what it's called.
John: By the way, if you google power pony that's not what you're gonna get.
Christine: Do not Google power pony.
John: [Laughing] Do not Google power pony.
Peter: Here's a flashback, this is a great shot.
Chris: Here it is, here's the shot.
Peter: This was— our operator nailed this.
John: It's coming.
Chris: It's a long explanation.
John: It is a long explanation.
Chris: Here it is, here it is. Oh, look at that. Perfect shot
Peter: Her look back is fabulous.
Timestamp: [40:00]
Chris: Perfect turn.
Christine: That is poetry. That's beautiful.
John: It also helps that Beth has good hands. You know, Apollo said that —
Chris: Well, he worked with her on this.
John: Yeah, he taught her how to lift.
Christine: She could be a thief if she wanted to.
John: And we'll see how season three goes, who knows where we'll wind up. Aww, thief of hearts, that's nice.
Christine: Isn't she?
John: And the whole idea of dumping, um, it was actually, the whole idea that phones now, you can just dump massive amounts of information on, was, I think Bruce Sterling had just done a thing about, um, the ubiquity... instead of cloud computing, but using the sort of—why go to cloud computing if your devices have more memory than the NASA moon landing?
Chris: And here, here's where we're—
John: And, ah, she's back!
Peter: 'I was in the box.'
[All Laugh]
Christine: 'I was in the bar!'
Peter: 'They put me in a box.'
Christine: He was in the box, she was in the bar, and now they're together again.
John: Seriously man, I had a fistful of scotch, and I must have been saying that for a week. 'They put me in a box'. I may drink during the day. And this, by the way, is an iconic shot for the show. That's a big one.
Christine: Aw, look at that. Look at those two.
John: It's tricky, when you find— our wardrobe has to be high style without ever going over the top, and that's what really— it's nice because that's what makes it visually interesting.
Christine: Look at these two together. Oh my god.
John: I know. They're great.
Dean: And this, again, was a real nice setup for where we ultimately go with the uh, the entire season.
John: That's right, because if you're listening to these commentaries in the—and we've split the season, it's— 209 is the last one. So you don't know what happens in the back end. Um. Dinosaurs.
Christine: They fight dinosaurs.
Dean: But this concept that he has replaced alcohol with control...
John: Right, this season is about addiction. Um, and people who cope with alcohol. Ahem.
Christine: Oh, this season is about addiction? [All Laugh] What? What show was I writing on last year?
Chris: Beautiful shot of her here, too, just really nice.
Peter: Hiding her pregnancy.
John: You know, she does a lot of work here when she's talking to—'cause it's interesting, this is a pairing we don't do a lot, and we wound up doing more this year. Um, is the idea that he is a little outside the team, and very hyper competent at what he does. And you can sort of see their relationship over the course of the first couple episodes arc where she feels comfortable confiding in him, in a way that was not there for season one.
Chris: And she's a little estranged from Nate, too.
Christine: I think because of that betrayal, first season, Sophie and Eliot have a special relationship in season two.
John: Yeah.
Dean: Well, Peter, thank you for being part of this episode, and being part of our show.
Peter: Loved it, enjoyed it immensely. I wanna live in Portland.
[All Laugh]
Christine: We do too.
John: And uh, Christina, Scott, nicely done.
Christine: Good job guys, everybody did a great job.
Dean: Stay tuned for the next episode of Leverage.
Peter: Single person clapping, single person clapping.
John: We're all clapping.
#Leverage#Leverage TNT#Leverage Audio Commentary Transcripts#Audio Commentary#Transcripts#Parker#Alec Hardison#Eliot Spencer#Nate Ford#Sophie Deveraux#Season 2#Episode 6#season 2 episode 6#The Top Hat Job
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Edinburgh To Boston - Chapter 13 - The Aftermath
Good evening everyone! Finally, chapter 13 of Edinburgh to Boston is ready. As the title implies Jamie and Claire will both be dealing with the results of the evening's events. There is a continuation of Claire’s recollection of the events that led to the ending of her marriage to Frank. We also get to meet Joe.
I do need to thank my betas for their magnificent and tireless help, suggestions, and comments. Thank you @curlsgetdemgurls and @scubalass. You guys keep me on my toes and push me to do my best.
As always I welcome any thoughts suggestions, comments you would like to share with me.
I hope you enjoy reading.
Without further delay, I give you:
Edinburgh to Boston
Chapter 13
The Aftermath
She was in her element. Healing. She would go to help anyone in need, young or old, rich or poor, good or bad. It didn’t matter to her. If someone needed her help, she would be there. He knew and loved her for it. But why did she feel the need to help Randall, especially after what he had done?
Jamie didn’t like it. He didn’t believe that the fucker deserved her assistance. In his opinion, if anyone cared to ask him, the bugger could just lay there and rot. He could rot here now and in hell through all eternity for everything he had done and just did to her. He did feel a momentary twinge of guilt about these feelings, though, as he is a doctor too. This time, he thought, he could look away from his Hippocratic oath and do nothing to help. It made his skin crawl to watch her help him after he molested her. He wanted to vomit and felt the bile rise up, hot and bitter, burning his throat. Swallowing hard, he forced the acrid fluid back from whence it came. He could do something, he reasoned. He could pick her up throw her over his shoulder, albeit while she was kicking and screaming, and carry her as far away from the bastard as possible. Besides, he wanted to finish the job. To feel every bone in Randall’s body snap like a twig. That’s what he wanted. He is a jealous and protective man when it comes to those he loves. But, Beauchamp! By Christ, the woman causes him to have this overwhelming need to keep her safe. Why does she make him feel this way?
Sitting there with his hand in the bucket of ice and a murderous look on his face, he took in the scene playing out before him. His eyes, like a blue-eyed eagle, roamed over the scene, watching, observing. Every movement, every slight nuance of body language or facial expression between them did not go unnoticed. He kept his body taut like the string of a bow with an arrow nocked and ready to fly free. He would not be caught unaware again. One wrong move and he would pounce. If he broke more bones in his hand, what did he care? Better yet, one swift kick to the man’s bollocks should do it. Aye, drop him like a stone. He chuckled to himself at the thought. Fair’s, fair after all. The filthy git grabbed Claire’s mmhmm, why shouldn’t he kick his in for good measure. That would solve a myriad of problems. It would wipe that look off his face. A look that said he still wanted her.
The rogue could not be more mistaken. The lass is his now and he would not give her up, not without a fight.
Abruptly, his thoughts took off in multiple directions. What had delayed her following him? Did Claire stop to talk to the man? Did he stop her from leaving? Damn, he hadn’t seen what happened. He wanted to leave in such a hurry to reach the safety of their room that he had no idea what transpired after he left. And she paid the price for his mistake.
“God, Jamie, yer such an eejit,” he scolded himself. “How could ye go off and leave her behind like that?! Ye ken what the man is like. Ye shoulda given her yer arm to take, like a proper man. No’ leaving her to fend him off. Ye failed her when she needed ye the most. Ye promised to always protect her, see her safe. And what did ye do, ye great numpty? Ye left her.”
An icy chill ran down his spine. It did not come from keeping his hand in the cold bath. His eyebrows arched, eyes opened wide, and his jaw hung open. Maybe she blamed him for what happened to her? “Weel, why not, ye do. Ye were no’ there when she needed ye, were ye? Ye showed up after he did her damage. Then, ye come running up to inflict yer own brand of mayhem and carnage.”
Maybe he took things too far, he wondered. Maybe she did not want vengeance laid at her feet. Would she think him a barbarian? What if she still wanted the filthy sassenach? Could she? If she did, could he be brave enough to simply walk away and let her be happy? He froze at the possibility. “God, no! Please, dinna let it be true,” he prayed. Living a life without her by his side chilled him to his bones.
A knot formed in his throat choking him. His chest tightened and his heart began to pound and squeeze. Breathing came in short gasping gulps. Still analytical, he thought that this is what it feels like to die. Aye, better to die here and now than live without her. With his good hand, he fumbled to loosen his tie and open the top button of his shirt. Air! He needed air. Taking several deep calming breaths, his heart began to slow and his breathing normalized. Quieting his raging emotions, he realized he could deny her nothing even if it came at his own expense. If that's what she wanted, then he would find the strength to step aside and learn to live with only half a heart. For her, he would and could do anything. He hung his head as a single crystalline tear ran down his face.
“Jamie love, does it hurt much?” she asked as she gently wiped the watery bead from his face with the pad of her thumb.
Looking up he beheld the glory of the sun in those golden eyes. Glistening wetly, his lashes clumped together.
“Claire, I thought, mebbe...I...I wasna sure if ye…Mebbe ye didnae want...” He looked at her with a helpless expression and fearful of what she might say or do.
“Tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurt anywhere else?” Quickly, her glass face became inscribed with worry while searching for additional damage.
“Nay lass, I am whole except for…” He raised his large paw up showing it to her. His hand and splint remained dry but felt icy cold. The ice kept the swelling to a minimum.
Claire sensed that something was bothering him, but she did not want to push him to tell her. She knew he would in his own time. Or at least she hoped he would. She decided to move on to a different pressing matter.
“Jamie, you need X-rays and an orthopedic evaluation. Joe Abernathy sent an ambulance for Frank. We can go in the ambulance with him. It will all be handled discreetly.”
His eyes narrowed and a dark shadow floated over his face. “NO,” he snarled hotly. I willna ride in an ambulance with that, that…” What followed was a string of Gàidhlig invectives the likes that Claire never heard before. She whispered a prayer of gratitude that she didn’t understand.
“You bloody stubborn Scot! You’re a surgeon and you need functioning hands. Has the thought occurred to you?” They were nose to nose now, glaring and hissing like two cats readying for battle. Neither would give in.
“Dr. Fraser, Dr. Beauchamp, may I offer my assistance?” Padrick the hotel chauffeur inclined his head smartly to them. “I heard of the, um, unfortunate altercation,” Padrick turned to scowl at Frank, “and thought I might offer my services. I could take you wherever you need to go.”
Jamie turned his head to Claire giving her a smug look. See I told ye there was nae need to ride in an ambulance with yon villain.
She gave her head a small shake and rolled her eyes heavenward.
“Thank you, Padrick, we appreciate your assistance. We need to go to Massachusetts General Hospital. Dr. Abernathy is expecting us. Do you think that someone could go to our room and bring our coats down? Oh, and there is a large multi-color silk scarf in the closet, could someone bring that too?”
“I will speak to the hotel manager, Dr. Beauchamp. I’m sure something can be arranged.”
“Excellent. I’ll go speak to Pierre and tell him an ambulance is on its way. I’ll be right back, Jamie.”
“Alright, Sassenach.” He continued to scowl at the Englishman with an intense ferocity.
Claire approached the restaurant captain to tell him about the outcome of her discussions. “An ambulance is on the way for Professor Randall. He chose not to press charges against Dr. Fraser. Likewise, I shall not press charges against him.”
“But Madam, how can you let such a thing go unpunished?” he squeaked in shocked surprise. “This hotel has a reputation for turning its face away from many things, but this??”
“It is for the best for all concerned, Pierre.” Her gaze slowly gravitating toward Jamie. “But, thank you for your concern.” She took hold of both his hands and squeezed them lightly.
“As you wish, Madam,” he shook his head in disagreement. “But should you ever change…”
“I won’t. I believe that he will keep his word. He has much more to lose than I do.”
The maître d' sighed shaking his head in disagreement.
Noise from the front of the restaurant signaled the arrival of the EMS crew. The female surgeon provided an outline of the patient’s injuries to the Paramedic.
The rescue team swiftly performed their own evaluation, lifted Frank, placed him onto the stretcher, wrapped him warmly, departing swiftly.
Padrick appeared with the requested coats and scarf. Claire quickly fashioned the scarf into a sling for Jamie’s arm. She helped him into his coat, as he clutched his injured hand against his chest.
“Thank ye, a leannan,” he said leaning over to place a kiss on her forehead.
She smiled, took his uninjured arm, “Let’s go and get that hand examined, hmm, Fraser?”
“Aye, Beauchamp, as ye say.”
They walked out of the restaurant to hooting, cheering, and applause. Jamie turned bright red at the attention directed their way.
“Um, Sassenach, just what did I do?” He looked rather embarrassed.
“You don’t remember, do you?”
“I dinna recall much. Just that I needed to make him pay for what he did to ye.”
“That you did, my lad. And you made him pay handsomely,” she smirked. “Your Viking berserker ancestors have nothing on you. Just don’t make it a habit of going howling in the woods wrapped in a wolf’s hide while you’re starkers,” she added with a mischievous grin on her face.
“Sassenach, what are ye on about?” His eyebrows raised with a curious look on his face.
“Never mind,” giggled the archeologist’s niece.
The chauffeur had the car at the entrance of the hotel waiting for them. They entered the car and drove to the hospital in a comfortable silence.
Joe Abernathy stood sheltered off to the side of the ambulance bay waiting for his two friends.
“Claire! Jamie!” he called out when they arrived.
“Joe, it’s so good to see you,” exclaimed Claire.
“Aye, it truly ‘tis a pleasure tae meet ye. Only I wish it were under different circumstances,” said Jamie as he waggled his hand.
“No matter. It’s wonderful to meet you. I hope you have been taking good care of our girl here?” Joe inquired pulling his best friend into a warm embrace.
Jamie winced at that. His cheeks flush with the heat of shame; his guilt rising to the surface again.
“I’m doing the best I can, ye ken. She is no’ an easy woman to take care of, aye?” He ran his hand through his hair ruffling it so it stood on end.
Joe laughed heartily clapping Jamie on the back, “Brother, you have no idea! Come on, let’s get you to radiology.”
A transporter with a wheelchair waited inside the bay and whisked Jamie away as he protested he could walk unaided. That idea was summarily vetoed.
Joe’s attention shifted to his friend. “How are you LJ, really?”
She turned her head away, not wanting to meet his eyes. Those golden hawk eyes now went hollow with the forced remembrances of a time longing to be forgotten.
“Fine, perfectly fine,'' she uttered unconvincingly.
Abernathy stopped and took her by the shoulders, “That speaks volumes. I know what that means. Now, what’s wrong, Claire? What are you not telling me? How are you after Frank...”
It happened more than three years ago. She sat with Lamb in his home while he took in her battered and bruised appearance. She had tried to escape. What she got for her effort was a face smashed against the chest of drawers. A dark blue-purple contusion now blossomed on her cheek where her face had met wood. Her lips swelled, split oozing blood whenever she spoke. The white flesh of her arms bore his finger marks. The imprints turned into livid purple things. Malicious mementos of his grip when he forced himself into her. Her broken nails stood in silent testimony to the fierce battle she had engaged in.
Lamb gently took her hand in his wizened, time-worn one. She flinched as if to pull away from his loving touch. “Oh, my dearest girl, whatever has he done to you?” As he gazed upon the disfigured face of his beloved niece he heard the sound of his heartbreaking. It made a rather small, soft sound something akin to the snapping of the stem of a flower off at the root.
“Honestly, Uncle, I’m sure you can see for yourself.” Claire wiped her nose on the back of her hand distantly observing the streaks of mucus stained with blood now smearing her hand. Pearls of moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes flowing like raindrops intent upon washing away all traces of the taint and tarnish that covered her. Overwhelming her.
It took some time, but Lamb convinced his niece to seek medical help and to document her injuries. His lawyer met them at the hospital, gathered the needed information and testimony to begin legal proceedings immediately. The divorce moved forward uneventfully. She wanted nothing from her miserable marriage except her freedom. She opted to not press charges for assault, battery, and rape fearing how the press if they got hold of the story, would portray the sordid details. ‘Niece of the renowned archeologist, Quintin Lambert Beauchamp, raped.’ would have made great headlines. Having her life and her sham marriage dragged publically through the mud became unthinkable, intolerable. Truthfully, she did not think she could face Frank during the trial, either. Fear of what degrading or demeaning thing he would say about her strongly eliminated any desire to prosecute him. She simply wanted to run and hide and never look back, putting all the pain and shame behind her. She only wanted to begin her life over. As in cases of spousal abuse, the circumstances surrounding the severing of marital ties would remain sealed. She and her Uncle left Boston upon receiving the divorce decree. Lambert Beauchamp died a few months later leaving her alone. With only her unwanted memories and her ghosts for company. She never mentioned what happened to anyone.
“Frank!” she snorted, hot with fury. “I’m embarrassed, humiliated, angry.” Befouled actually describes it better she thought. “Honestly if I could, I would cut his heart out and have it for breakfast. But, I can’t do that can I?” Pressing the heel of her palm to her eye sockets, she willed away any chance of tears.
“I’ve decided not to prosecute Frank, although I would dearly love to see him behind bars.” For this and everything else, he has done. Claire began to pace gathering her thoughts into some cohesive form. “Trust me, I am not doing this to spare him anything. I’m doing this to protect Jamie. I don’t want him to do any further damage to his hands, bloody stubborn Scot! Or harm his reputation. He’s too good of a surgeon for that. It would be a great waste.” Her eyes hardened from soft liquid honey to hard fossilized amber. Her voice and manner became laced with a steely determination. She set a course of action and made a commitment to seeing it through.
“There is one other reason,” she exhaled wearily, “and that is to protect his students. Frank is a womanizer. I want to stop him from debauching any more naive young women. He is a brilliant teacher. He just can’t keep his hands to himself.” She knew what it was like to be held under his magnetic spell. Handsome. Debonaire. Cultured. Speaking in sweetened gilded words. The man, in essence, personified a true Lothario.
Joe looked at Claire, wide-eyed in disbelief, “LJ, it’s noble what you’re doing, but it’s still not right that he gets away unpunished for this.”
She reluctantly turned to face him, hands rubbing at both her temples, “I know, but it’s what I think, no, what I need to do.”
“The real problem is with Jamie. I haven’t told him yet that I am not pressing charges against Frank. I know he’ll be upset when I tell him. But I can’t tell him now.” Her face was pale, lips a taut line, her countenance anguished. “I’m afraid of what he’ll do. You should have seen him there! My God, I thought he’d kill him if I hadn’t stopped him. I don’t want to lose him. I can’t.”
“Do you love him LJ?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“You need to be honest with him, you know. You owe him that.”
Conflicting emotions roiled in her belly. She struggled with the need to keep him safe against the need to be honest with him. “I will tell him. In Scotland. He can’t do any more damage from there. It’s a risk, I know, but one I’m willing to take.”
She turned away from her friend. Her mood becoming more pensive. Speaking softly, almost so only she could hear, “I can’t lose him. I won’t! Whatever it takes to protect him, by God, I’ll do it.”
Jamie had become her heart and her soul. She would move heaven, hell, and anything else that came in her way to see him safe. To protect him. To keep him with her. He epitomized her last chance at happiness, for love. She loved him with more passion than she could have imagined possible.
Beauchamp hesitated before continuing, “It’s been so long since I felt anything for someone else, you know since I thought I could open my heart to another. I kept it impounded, safe under lock and key. Then, he comes along with those blue cat eyes, curly red hair, and boom! He just walks off with my heart. How did he do that, Joe, just how the hell did he do that?” This was a rhetorical question, one that Claire already knew the answer to, but she got an answer anyway.
“Lady Jane, did you really ever consider that he is the one?”
“Yes. Yes, I have and that’s just the point. It frightens me. I’ve never felt like this before, certainly not with Frank.” Claire scoffed. She puffed out her cheeks exhaled strongly, “I’m just afraid that it will all come crashing down around me. I don’t think I could bear it. I really don’t.”
Her face anxious, she looked for reassurance from her best friend.
“C’ mon here, LJ,” Joe smiled opening his arms in a comforting invitation. She stepped readily into his open waiting embrace. “You’re smart, funny, beautiful, and so many other things. The man would have to be a real asshole to let you go.”
“You’re just saying that because I’m your friend,” she smirked jabbing him in the ribs.
“And that’s because you have excellent taste in friends.” He gave her a sly conspiratorial wink.
At that moment, Joe and Claire could hear Jamie’s loud raucous laughter as he returned. “And the altar boy said to the prostit...Sassenach!? Are ye alright, then?” His muscles tightened. His whole body becoming alert. He surveyed the area looking for a possible threat.
What the hell happened now?
She looked different like some interminable heavyweight threatened to pull her down into the boundless sea. Drowning her, stealing her life-force, taking her away from him.
Producing a weak smile, Claire leaned over lightly kissing him on his temple, “Everything is fine, my lad, just fine.”
“Where are we to meet Dr. Nelson, Joe?”
“He’s waiting in exam room 6. Let’s go on over.”
Joe pushed the big Scot’s wheelchair toward the examining room.
“I’ll no’ go without Claire.” His tone became adamant. Twice he had left her alone and twice something happened. And he wasn’t there when it did. No more.
“Claire, mon cher, ça va?” A pretty petite brunette woman rushed up to clasping her warmly and kissed her cheeks.
“That’s Louise de la Tour, ENT. She’s attending to Frank’s broken nose. They were friends during their residency.”
“Aye, I see.” Jamie accepted this information.
“Joe, will ye tell me something honestly?”
“Of course, if I can,” he replied cautiously.
“What happened to Claire while I was having X-rays? I come back and she looks fair fashed.” He looked questioningly at his new friend.
Joe sighed, “You two need to talk about what happened. I told her she needs to be open and honest with you. You need to be truthful with her as well. There can be room for secrets sometimes but not lies.”
“Aye, that we do.” he began to wonder what she could have said.
Arriving at exam room 6, they found Dr. Nelson, a squat balding man with soft dove grey eyes, intently reviewing Jamie’s films.
“Dr. Fraser, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I reviewed your radiographs and there are simple hair-line fractures of your right third and fourth fingers. Nothing serious. Immobilization with a splint for several weeks should fix it right up.”
Dr. Nelson re-splinted Jamie’s fingers as Claire walked into the room.
“Ah, the lovely Dr. Beauchamp. Your quick thinking to splint the injury prevented further damage.” He noticed a frown on Claire’s face. “Not to worry, just two hair-line fractures, nothing that rest, ice, elevation, and immobilization won’t fix,” he smiled reassuringly at her. “And we’re done. Follow up with your orthopedist when you get home. You will need some physical therapy to maintain your dexterity. Good meeting you both.” The orthopedist smiled tiredly departing swiftly longing for the comfort of his bed.
Claire leaned over wrapped her arms around her love pressing a kiss onto his burnished curls. “Alright my lad, I think it’s time we get back to the hotel. It’s been a long day and even longer evening.” A profound weariness cast its shadow over her face. Dark smudges visible around her eyes; her shoulders drooping with fatigue.
Taking hold of her hand with his one sound one, he lightly returned the gesture brushing his lips to the palm of her hand. “It has been a long and very eventful day mo ghràdh. Ye look fair puggled,” he observed looking at her demeanor. “Ye need yer sleep.”
They left the exam room hand in hand, fingers twined together. Spotting Joe, they called out their thanks, bidding him goodnight.
Walking toward their waiting car, Jamie looked at his Sassenach a question burning in his mind. “Claire, I ken ye would want Frank (he nearly choked on the name) tended to first, but I’m wondering, when will ye give your statement to the police about what happened? I had expected to see them here.” He wanted to see them there. He wanted to see the look on the bastard’s face when they arrested him for assault.
Claire froze in place letting go of his hand. All the color drained from her face, her mouth went dry, and her hands became as cold as ice.
“Jamie…”
“What’s a miss, mo chridhe? Are ye no’ well?” He came to her side in an instant taking her hand in his. “Yer hand lass, yer chilled through,” his face registering worry and concern. He pulled her close to him offer his warmth to her. “What’s wrong?”
She could not look at him. She prayed the floor would open up swallow her whole sending her deep into the bowels of the earth never to be seen again.
He placed his thumb and forefinger on her chin lifting up her face to look at his. “Tell me. Ye ken ye can tell me anything a nighean.”
His hand warm, strong moved to cup her cheek. His thumb gently stroking her cheekbone.
Claire slid into his embrace, arms wrapped around his waist, her head resting on his chest. Safe. At this moment, she felt the security, love, and protection of his arms. She clung to him, wanting, no needing, to feel the solidness of him, the strength of him against her for what she believed would come to be the last time. When she would tell him of the agreement she made with Frank, Claire knew everything between them would change.
#edinburgh to boston#chapter 13#the aftermath#OL fanfic#jamie and claire#Jamie's thoughts on what happened#Claire's abuse#keeping secrets is not always a good thing#brainwashing#My writing#thanks to my betas#curlsgetdemgurls#scubalass#Here Goes Nothing
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❛ wipe the 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 off your hands , little owl – it doesn’t matter . you’re still a 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐫 . ❜
❝ you’re hardly innocent yourself , 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 – godhood looks cruel on you ; if i had to do it again , 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 . ❞
𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 , 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬 , 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
excuse the dramatics , but hello ! i’m cc , can’t read , can’t write BUT i will be dramatic about it nonetheless . i am SO excited for this , i am the biggest pjo fan in the world & i love pjo rps sm i have been blessed by the gods , paige & dani with this . dana is a very old muse i used to have & recently re fell in love w , so here she is . tidbits before diving in : she fought for kronos & the titans in the war , she’s a daughter of athena that spent five years unclaimed in the hermes cabin & she is for the new cabins – it’s what she was fighting for anyway . if you’d like to plot PLS like this & i’ll come to u , uwu . p.s this is long for no reason PLS come to me if u want a tl;dr .
〔 JEON HEEJIN, TWENTY, CIS FEMALE, TELUMKINESIS 〕╰ DANA AHN just came over half - blood hill . you know , the child of ATHENA who was claimed four years ago ? i’ve heard chiron say that she is INSTINCTUAL & COGENT , but if you ask the aphrodite kids , they’d say they’re DISPARAGING & GLACIAL . i’d say they remind me of quiet grief spent in lonely hours – invalidated by people she swears never cared for her , watching a new constellation form with crystalline tears in exhausted eyes , a lethal slice of celestial bronze ; it brands her a traitor & pile of painted beads crushed underfoot when loyalties are chosen , especially since they’re FOR THE NEW CABINS .
❛ 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖓𝖊 ╱ 𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭
inspiration
❛ you’re a monster . ❜
❝ better a monster , than an arrogant god . ❞
ethan nakamura ( percy jackson & the olympians ) , ❛ one of my sons recently traded an eye for the ability to make a real difference in the world. ❜
❝ no one made me , i made me – so give me a bitter glory . ❞
cato ( the hunger games ) , ❛ go on . i’m dead anyway. i always was, right ? i didn’t know that till now . ❜
❝ am i the villain in your story , when i was always the hero in mine ? ❞
erik killmonger ( black panther ) , ❛ the world took everything away from me ! everything i ever loved ! ❜
full name . ahn ji su / dana ahn nickname(s) / aliases . dane , traitor age . twenty gender / pronouns . cis gendered female , she / her orientation . demisexual , panromantic hometown . boston , massachusetts faceclaim . jeon heejin
aesthetic . a walking plethora of bad decisions made by a rotting heart , remnants of red rimmed eyes after losing so much more than others in the war , the quiet , ominous static electricity before a lightning strike , watching a new constellation form with crystalline tears in her exhausted eyes , a lethal slice of celestial bronze ; it brands her a traitor , shouting commands over the sounds of her kind dying at her feet & a pile of painted beads crushed underfoot when loyalties are chosen .
label . the premonition , the potentate , the traitorous moral alignments . chaotic good / chaotic neutral ( + ) positives . strategic , instinctual , cogent , potent ( - ) negatives . fustian , disparaging , glacial , acerbic hogwarts house . gryffindor godly parent . athena deadly sin . pride fatal flaw . holding grudges
❛ 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖔 ╱ 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞
TRIGGER WARNING : death , murder , injury description
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢 . her mother , a goddess in her own right ; ahn soo ah joins the navy as kennedy ahn . bright eyed & wise beyond her years , she graduates from the united states naval academy with notable achievements under her belt . she is astute , a walking resource that the navy uses as a strategist – one of the brightest minds of her generation , gone unknown as she helps the military create top secret missions . war written & loved , kennedy has an affinity for battle – she attracts many people that she knows are more than human . but they search for romance , they ask for her love when kennedy has never sought after it – romance comes slow to her , it’s a process & the only person to get that is a grey - eyed liaison named dana astbury . she arrives in a swirl of intuitiveness & intelligent that’s incredibly attractive – but their connection isn’t one based on romance . the way their minds bond is unlike anything kennedy has ever felt before – she’s eager to work with her for the short time ; together they create the perfect brain child . two months after astbury’s departure , a golden bassinet appears with a baby girl wrapped in silk – the product of two of the wisest minds , a mix of godhood & mortality . kennedy doesn’t know who the goddess really is , but she knows the baby is hers .
she grows as ji su , americanized as dana – the smartest woman kennedy has ever gotten to meet & dana grows up loved . what the gods lack in familial love , mankind makes up for it ; ji su , as called by only her mom , grows into a remarkable child . grey eyes that look like they belong to a middle aged woman , a mind that knows too much for someone so young – they see everything . the horns hidden the mailman’s hair , the one eyed man giving her a kind smile when she hands him a daisy , the winged creatures flying over her mom’s new job ; dana holds enough wisdom to make a god stop . kennedy loves her more than herself , waters her with knowledge & sunshine to raise her as an extraordinary human being . dana never knows life without love until she returns home from an after school club just in time to see a creature hold a sword of celestial bronze through her mom . ten years old , witnessing her a woman with one goat leg & one metal leg kill kennedy – on the basis that kennedy knew something about olympus . she didn’t , but she paid the price anyway & dana runs after the creature , intent on getting revenge .
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞��� 𝐢𝐢 . labelled officially as a missing person , it’s a lot harder than she thinks to survive without getting caught . but dana has always been smart , she is sharp , witty & quick on her feet . it takes only DAYS for her to find the creature – an empousa , learned from research & any other monster that’ll help her . the monsters on the streets are kind to her , they spot a helpless demigod with a dirt caked face & dana doesn’t know it , but it’s the most kindness she’ll experience for years . a month later , the celestial sword taken from the empousa hangs on her hip – along with a lessoned learned ; vengeance & revenge don’t feel as good as she thought it would . the monster’s dead , but so is her mom . a prayer sent to gods of every pantheon – greek , roman , egyptian , norse ; she asks for help , for a blessing because she knows they’re real & if they’re real , wouldn’t they help a child ? NO ANSWER . it takes another month before she stumbles past the borders of camp half blood , bloodied & bruised . it’s chiron who shows her around , places her in the hermes cabin with other greek demigods like her . some have lesser gods as parents , some – like her – are unclaimed . the game , to figure out which god is her parent , which god has deemed her unworthy to sit alone in the hermes cabin . everyone knows – even she does , the eyes are a dead giveaway .
but the claim doesn’t come & what’s supposed to be home quickly turns into a prison . she wastes away alongside the bitter , she barely gets to go on quests ( on the basis that upon completion , she’ll be claimed – mr . d tells her to shove it , chiron agrees with her ) only to return empty handed with one less companion . scar after scar , death after death , she turns to the gods empty handed , rid of the offerings she used to make . a CURSE upon athena , a CURSE on all the gods who sit by & watch their children fight THEIR battles . demigods , their children , born to be pawns for the divine – to fight enemies their parents made for them , to DIE so the olympians don’t have to . resentment in her core , she falls into ranks with the blond boy in cabin eleven . luke castellan , the one who whispers with the sleeping one , the scarred boy who promises her glory & change . the gods need a wake up call , who better to give it than their children ? she leaves the summer after the son of poseidon arrives – keeps a hand on luke’s shoulder with a promise of changing the way the gods treat their children .
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐢𝐢 . a year spent with a rising army before luke asks her to go back . thalia’s tree is dying , an inside man or two never hurt anybody . a little bit stronger , a little bit more trained , she arrives at the same place she had stumbled into five years prior – four years stuck in the hermes camp , one spent on the run with a boy king . almost immediately upon her arrival , a blessing is sent from athena – some call it a welcome back , but dana is smart enough to know the true reasoning behind her claim . the gods are scared , athena herself knows of dana’s potential & the claim is an attempt at appeasing her but dana is far too gone . it’s not enough , she leaves when the golden fleece is brought back . one of many demigods to go missing , she finds solace on board the princess andromeda . the monsters here have shown her more kindness & familial love than the gods ever have . under luke’s instruction , she grows into a formidable opponent – boasting extraordinary skill with any weapon she chooses . she grows closer to the commander as well , shares his troubles from a distance while she keeps her head down . dana pledges herself to his cause , pledges to stand by himself through all of it & mourns luke when kronos arrives in his place . blue eyes turn to gold , dana goes from warrior to sword .
chosen by kronos himself , she spends an unprecedented amount of time with the titan – often out of sight from other demigods . he freezes time for them ( like he does every demigod he chooses to twist ) , fractions of the care she’s always searched for shining through the cracks ; she learns a different way of fighting , a different way of feeling , of thinking . dana learns from the best a titan reminding her of her worth . wrapped in resentment & the blessing of a titan , respect turns to admiration to a twisted psyche before she’s gearing up for the battle of the labyrinth with a sour reminder – the gods never cared , he did . with her features hidden behind a helmet made of GOLD , she proves her prowess erupting from the labyrinth , striking down demigods & the family that never cared for her . after an untimely defeat , one more year is spent preparing . underneath his instruction , dana continues to grow into a weapon at his disposal & she’s blind to the obvious fact – he never loved her , she’s simply a tool for them to use . blindly naive , she continues to launch herself into battle , lay her life down in hopes of waking the gods up . she ascends to her peak , unaware that everyone is waiting for her to come crashing down .
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐯 . charged with her own command in the battle for manhattan , monsters & demigods alike listen to her orders . demigods of her own kind fall under her sword & she doesn’t know it , but dana is only one of many chosen champions – one small member of a small class . they’re all tools at his disposal & he’s manipulated them all in their own ways ; to the other demigod commander slain by an arrow , he promised glory . to the other commander who charges the hunters of artemis , he promised revenge . to dana , struck down by a celestial bronze sword , he promised love . they all have their titles gifted to them , unbeknownst that NOBODY takes them seriously . demigods , they’re pawns in kronos’s game . it isn’t her first time being injured in battle , often times she returns to him & lets him take back the injury , watches her cuts close up underneath his power – but this time ; hubris mixes with wrath & she lets her guard down . her hands around her neck & blood pours from a deep cut that silences her , stranger’s hands wrap around her armor straps as she’s pulled into safety , holding back blood with pale fingers . she chokes on her own blood while her life is begged for , she’s close to the underworld when she’s healed by people she swears never cared for her . her survival is a travesty – to both her & camp half blood alike ; apollo himself tries to heal her fully , but in punishment he lets her suffer . twenty years old , her throat slit in retribution for her actions .
after the war , a month spent recovering as she radiates like a beacon of disappointment . grief , for the titan & his host – mixed with resentment & distrust . they’re split on whether she should stay – she chose the opposite side until her dying breath , the demigods that saved her can still account for the blood flung from her mouth while she tried to curse them . so she keeps her distance , but she stays because she has nowhere else to go – no degree , no identification , not direction . in the rivalry , she keeps her mouth shut but she stands with the cabins – it’s everything she fought for , it’s all the forgotten wanted & she’ll gladly go to war for it again . but , she’s changed – the image of a lethal opponent turned to crestfallen girl . she doesn’t talk much anymore , she doesn’t use her ability for much , doesn’t train , doesn’t fight . most often found with a couple of scared satyrs while she spends the day at arts & crafts . but though quiet , she still harbors unimaginable HATRED for the gods – she’ll never love or respect them the way they want her to . they want her to shed her title of traitor but refuse to call her the sword of kronos , they want her to beg for a new title at their feet ; dana will never beg them for anything .
❛ 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊 ╱ 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
exterior . an outlier in camp , dana pretty much spent more time with the titans than she did at camp half blood . a faint scar on her neck , she wears it like a brand burned onto her skin . despite the power that she displays ( a gift of telumkinesis , along with skill & prowess learned by both kronos & luke himself ) , she doesn’t use her power for much these days . cogent , she’s good with her words & swaying people onto her side – which she used a lot more during the war , since these days she mostly keeps her mouth shut .
a beacon of pessimistic energy , dana still isn’t shy about her dislike for the gods . she says often , that if she had to do it all again , she wouldn’t change a thing . the gods continue to disappoint her , continue to wrong her & do everything in the crudest of ways , so dana continues to be a blasphemous follower in the camp . she’s still here simply because she has nowhere else to go – no degree , no schooling , nothing to give her a way out – dana’s technically still a missing person anyway ; so until she figures out a permanent way to leave , she’s stuck .
interior . she almost misses kronos – at this point , she can see that he was the greatest manipulator of all but she really felt so loved underneath him . he saw her for her , molded her into an outstanding warrior & dana owes him EVERYTHING . but she understands now how bad he is , how much chaos could’ve been unleashed had he won , but it doesn’t erase the twisted care she still holds for luke or the quiet idolization that still lingers for kronos . she held a title in the titan army & it still makes her see red when she thinks about how she went from the sword of kronos to traitor in the blink of an eye .
honed with pessimism , dana is still incredibly intelligent , incredibly potent but she spends a lot of time alone . she prefers the isolation in contrast to spending time with her siblings or any other demigod ; festers alone in very toxic thoughts about ‘ hm shoulda died hate it here ’ vibes . a lot of regret , a lot of very twisted thoughts having grown up with the Worst Villain Ever pretty much raising her .
midway . an entirely too gifted demigod , completely wasted on the bad guys . in a theoretical letter from athena , dana’s godly mother expresses her disappointment that she created such a potent warrior just to watch her fight for the wrong side . determined to give up her powers , she was only recently informed she HAD telumkinesis . convinced she had been trained by a titan himself & that’s where her weaponry mastery stemmed from , she’s learned that it all stems from a power .
still , she has room to grow ; in her dreams sent by the goddess herself , she’s been told that should she want a new title , she would have t o earn it – but does she want it ? does she want to use her power to fight for the gods that have only ever seen her as a weapon ? dana doesn’t know , she frankly doesn’t care enough right now .
❛ 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗 ╱ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧
as usual , this got way too fuckin long & i’m so sorry but dana’s an old & complicated muse . tl;dr , fought w the titans , kronos trained her personally ( & manipulated her , mayb there was a lil sumn sumn but she’s , in my opinion , dumb & didn’t realize she was bein played ) , she almost fuckin died & was saved by the people she was fighting even though she herself killed numerous demigods & now is a quiet , pessimistic loner . hee hee , all her connections are here , all her wanted connects are here . if u read this all i guess i owe you my life !
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Tangled: the Series *light spoilers ahead!*
Felt like bringing this up in light of the series finale today, but Tangled has grown to become one of my favorite cartoons ever! Rapunzel was always one of my favorite fairytales growing up (the Barbie movie is still one of my childhood favorites!), and I was happy to hear of a Disney movie based on said fairytale. I was eleven when the movie came out (I can’t remember if I did see it theatres), and overtime, it became one of my favorite Disney films. With that being said, Rapunzel grew to be one of my favorite Disney characters and my top favorite Disney princess. I very much see myself in her when it comes to creativity.
I don’t remember when I first heard of the series, nor where I saw it, but I remember seeing an ad in early 2017 that a series was being made, and I was excited. It was back when I wasn’t too crazy of what Disney Channel has been making, but now, a good portion of DC’s cartoons are worth watching. I started watching “Before Ever After” roughly a third of a way through the movie, and I also remember my Mom being there. Soon after rewatching the entire film, I began to watch the series.
There were SO many highs about this series, including the animation, the fact that most of the film’s cast returned to reprise their roles, and it just filled some gaps I didn’t know the Tangled story needed in between the movie and the “Ever After” short. I also really liked a lot of the original characters introduced here (more on that later), and the SONGS!!! Oh, so beautiful!!! I loved all the twists and turns that the show threw at us, but I knew that the series would end with Rapunzel regaining that short, brown hair, and of course, how she and Eugene got engaged.
Onto some of my favorite characters that were introduced in the series. I really did like Varian a lot, especially during Season 3. He’s an incredible dork, and I still vividly remember meeting someone dressed as Varian at FanExpo Boston last year. They were so excited when I recognized their cosplay! I also did like Cassandra and her badass personality, though despite a couple rough patches, she also had a decent arc. Lance, I wasn’t too fond of him in the first few episodes of his appearance, but I say between “Painter’s Block” and “Secret of the Sundrop”, I’ve grown to like him. I also was crazy about Adira, and even though she only had smaller appearances in Season 3, I was still happy to see her every time she was on screen. I also did like how Edmund became this wise-cracking and goofy dad in Season 3, and that introduction to Eugene’s early life was something I didn’t know I needed from Tangled. I did like how we got to know more of Fredric and Ariana, Rapunzel’s parents who had little to no dialogue in the film. Lastly, I thought Zhan Tiri was a really cool villain. Just the overall characterization of her (even though it slowly became obvious who that little girl was), and the emotionally manipulative antagonists are some of my favorites. I think I’ve started to grow a liking for antagonists after Jace Rucklin.
Overall, Tangled gave us a fun and exciting tale that lasted for nearly nine and a half years. I’m thankful to have watched this amazing show and relive what I enjoyed most about the movie when I was a kid. I hope for people who enjoy(ed) the movie Tangled gets a look at this show that follows what happens after Rapunzel reunites with her true family. Thank you Tangled for the adventure. It truly is happily ever after.
#Kimmy's rambles#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#Disney tangled#Disney rapunzel#reviews#tts spoilers#rta spoilers
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The bachelor au with sidgeno, bennguin or kidline. Idc about the pairing ur I'm starving for headcanons 👏
1) "Next, Tyler Seguin,” the producer says, flipping to the next slide as the team flips over to the next page of their packet, “He’ll probably be good for some drama.”
Jamie studies the picture, the stats--6′1, as good looking as all the rest of them, a bartender in Boston. Loves dogs, hockey, and having a good time. He’s grinning in the picture, smirking a little. He looks like every other ex-athlete fuckboy Jamie’s seen come and go over his seasons as a producer on the Bachelor and Bachelorette.
“Are we thinking villain edit?” another producer asks. Jamie doesn’t have seniority to say it, but he’s already thinking the no as the producer says,
“No, unless things change. Just some excitement--add some chaos in.”
Jamie agrees. He’s gotten to be a decent judge of character, or at least figuring out who’s going to be the kind of person who’s insufferable to the producers and always ordering them around and thinking that they’re there to serve the contestants, and who isn’t. Tyler Seguin looks like many things, but there’s no malice in those laughing brown eyes.
“And next,” the producer goes on, and Jamie flips the page, quickly. So Seguin’s got pretty eyes. He’s seen plenty of pretty eyes come and go.
///
2) Tyler goes on the Bachelorette partly on a whim, partly because it seems like fun, partly because his Insta deserves more followers, and partly as a way out of--well, as a change.
In any case, no one is surprised. “This seems inevitable, yeah,” Brownie told him, with a noise that’s a laugh and a sigh put together.”
So Tyler goes on the show, and it’s cool. Like, sort of stressful, because of the whole competition thing, but the Bachelorette, Liv, is hot and fun and the rest of the guys seem chill, except for the ones who aren’t but Tyler can ignore them, and getting to hang around a pool all day and drink and hang out and work out is maybe Tyler’s idea of heaven. Or, no--if this was heaven he would have gotten to make out a little with the hot guys around him, but hey, it’s close.
///
3) Tyler latches on to Jamie quickly, though. Jamie’s one of the first of the crew he’s introduced to, to herd him around where they need to go, and Tyler is incapable of not trying to make friends with people, so he starts chatting with him or whatever, and Jamie mumbles something back, and Tyler thinks that that’s that--that he doesn’t like Tyler and it’s a pity because Tyler’s into the whole big dude big eyes thing Jamie’s got going on, but Tyler’s not going to force his presence on anyone.
Then it’s a few days later, and Tyler’s feeling a little tired, already. He loves it, he does, but--it’s a lot, and he’s hungover and the other dudes are getting into a shouting match about something and he’s standing nearby watching and it’s all getting to be a lot, and then he feels someone appearing next to him, which is a feat for how big Jamie is.
“You can take a sec,” Jamie says, and he’s not mumbling now.
“What?” Tyler asks, turning and smiling instinctively. Jamie’s watching him, with those big eyes that look...well, kind.
Jamie glances at his feet, then back up. “Cameras aren’t on you all the time. You can take a break, you know. Go get some sleep or something.”
Tyler raises his eyebrows, but he’s grinning. “Are you supposed to be saying that? Shouldn’t you be encouraging me to go do shit?”
Jamie shrugs, doesn’t quite meet Tyler’s eyes. “I’ll make sure the cameras don’t bother you.”
It could maybe be the producers trying to manipulate Tyler, or some shit like that, but--Tyler doesn’t think so. There’s something about Jamie that makes it impossible to think so. Jamie radiates Good Guy energy, in a way that Tyler doesn’t think he’s ever seen before.
“Yeah,” Tyler agrees, and punches Jamie’s arm companionably before he goes. “Thanks, bro.”
Jamie shrugs again, like it’s nothing.
///
4) So after that Tyler officially adopts Jamie. Jamie...isn’t quite sure what to do with it, because Tyler should be spending his time with the other contestants, and maybe Jamie is making it up anyway, that Jamie seems to be his favorite producer. Like, sure, Tyler’s always hanging out near him, and chatting with him when he has a chance, and he’s started teasing Jamie in a way that manages to seem fun and not dickish, but he does that to a lot of people. Jamie’s sure it doesn’t mean anything. Tyler makes friends with everyone. Tyler’s one of the favorites to get into the top four or five, though he’s not favored to win. But the bachelorette seems to be charmed and amused by him, so he keeps getting that rose.
And after he gets it, sometimes he looks up, grins over at where Jamie’s watching, and if Jamie blushes sometimes, well. The lights cover that.
///
5)
Tyler just likes Jamie. A lot. The dude’s quiet, and mumbles a lot, but Tyler’s been watching him and he sees how he manages the other producers and crew, how even the contestants fall in line when he starts laying down the law. He sees how once there were kids around for a date and Jamie knelt down to talk to a little girl, folding up that big muscled body to admire the picture she drew. He sees how Jamie never turns Tyler away, when he needs a break from all the filming shit, and Tyler tucks himself into a corner with Jamie to chat about nothing at all, about his dogs and Boston and Toronto and hockey and just--anything.
Also once Jamie gets water on his shirt and has to strip it off to change and Tyler sees all that, too.
It’s not like Tyler’s obsessed, or anything. He likes a lot of the contestants, even Chad, who’s getting the villain edit but isn’t like, that bad a dude. He likes a bunch of the producers too, and some of the camera people.
But somehow he always finds himself circling back to Jamie, especially after a date where he’s been charming and drinking and is so wired he feels like he’ll shake out of his skin. Jamie has a way then, of putting a hand on his arm, and Tyler can just--settle. He has a way of listening to Tyler talk about his life back home in a way that doesn’t quite feel judgmental, but does make Tyler feel like--like he’s looking at it from the outside.
Tyler learns things about Jamie, too. He learns he’s the youngest of three and he’s from Victoria and that he’s been working this job for a couple years now. He learns that he wants to be a director, someday, which he admits with a mumbling blush but Tyler kicks his foot until he looks up and tells him that it makes sense. Jamie’s good at being in charge.
He does not learn if Jamie is single or not. He tells himself that’s okay. Jamie’s a friend, a good friend, and Tyler’s for sure keeping him after the show, but. Who cares if he’s single or not? Not Tyler, that’s who.
///
6) A scene: Tyler, in a confessional setting. He’s wearing a bathing suit and an unbuttoned shirt over it, with a backwards baseball cap on.
“Yeah, no, I mean, I love Boston,” Tyler says into the camera. “It’s been a lot of fun, you know?” He looks over the camera, to the side. [Not pictured: Jamie, standing there, watching him. Listening].
A pause. Someone asks a question. Then, “Is it--do I want to live there forever? I don’t know. I thought so.” A look, to the same side. Steady. “I’ve been thinking recently, though, maybe I need to grow up a little? Start taking things a little more seriously. And I don’t know if I can do that in Boston.”
Another question. “What? Would I go to Liv in LA?” He chuckles, looks a little surprised. “Yeah, sure, LA sun, what’s not to love?”
///
7) Another moment: It’s late out, and Jamie’s waiting out the last of the contestants to go to sleep so he can go home and grab some sleep before being back on set early to prep for the date. Most of them go easily enough, but Tyler lags behind. Jamie's not surprised. He wishes he were a little less pleased.
“So you have a big night planned?” Tyler asks, leaning against the bar. He’s in his yellow bathing suit, which is maybe the douchiest set; it’s still painfully attractive. “Gonna go out on the town, once you’re rid of all of us?”
Jamie snorts. “I’m going to get some sleep.”
Tyler tsks his tongue. “Really? No big date night? Doesn’t all this want to make you fall in love?” he drawls the last words, like he’s mocking them.
“After running interference on you lot all day, who has the time?” It’s not quite true. Jamie could, probably, if he wanted to. Jordie definitely thinks so, and says so, loudly. But Jamie--he doesn’t want to. It’s hard to feel like he could, after watching all the ridiculously attractive men out there, all day. “Anyway, I’m boring, right? That’s the general opinion.”
“Boring’s not bad.” Tyler’s watching him again. “Doesn’t mean you have to stay that way, though.”
Jamie shrugs. “Makes it easier to, though.”
Tyler hums, then, all at once, he reaches behind himself to grab a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. “Tyler!” Jamie yelps. “What are you doing?”
“Let’s do shots,” Tyler says, easy. Like that’s not--
“We can’t drink now, it’s after hours,” Jamie hisses. And then, also, “And I can’t drink anyway, that’s for contestants. And I shouldn’t be drinking with you, I’m not supposed to even fraternize with--”
“Come on, Jameson.” Tyler grins, and it’s all temptation there, smooth as silk. Wild, Jamie remembers them calling him, way back at the beginning before Jamie started to see what that wildness covered up. “Cameras are off, you’re off the clock. Take a chance.” He holds up a shot glass, smirking a little.
Jamie hesitates, but he’d like to see the person who’s strong enough to stand up to Tyler’s smile.
“One,” He says, and takes the glass. Tyler cheers, then he pours the shots, grabs salt and some limes from behind the bar too.
“You do know how to do this, right?” Tyler asks, setting it out. Jamie rolls his eyes.
“Yes, I know how to do a tequila shot,” Jamie retorts. Tyler grins again, then licks at his hand to put salt on it. His eyes are very dark, watching Jamie.
Jamie swallows, does the same. He can’t look away from Tyler, somehow. It feels like no one else exists, not the show, not the bachelorette, not all the rest of it. Just the two of them.
It’s a long, long moment. Tyler’s tongue flicks out to wet his lips, Jamie--tries not to look. Tyler’s a fun guy, of course he’s going to be fun. It’s not--anything.
“Cheers,” Jamie says at last, to break--this.
“Cheers,” Tyler replies, and tosses back the shot. Jamie does too. It burns, but maybe in a good way.
///
8) Tyler falls in love on a Tuesday.
He’d been feeling a little--not homesick, really, but dog sick; he misses his boys more than anything else. And he must have mentioned it to Jamie, or maybe he just talked about his boys more, or something, because he comes downstairs one day and there’s just a dog there, a few of the other guys who are up huddling around him and petting him.
Tyler follows the leash up to Jamie’s hands, blinks. “Are they yours?” he asks, a little dumbstruck.
Jamie shrugs, glances away, and blushes a little, like he’s been doing more of since that night Tyler had talked him into taking a shot. “He’s my brother’s, technically, but he said I could borrow him. I thought it might do you some good--all of you,” he adds, too quickly, but Tyler knows that’s not what he meant. Jamie brought in the dog, for Tyler, because Tyler had been feeling shitty; like he’d always done the little things to make Tyler feel better, like he’d known what Tyler needed.
“Um, thanks,” Tyler mutters, because he doesn’t know what else to say, and crouches down to greet the dog--Juice, Jamie tells him--properly. It’s easier than looking at Jamie. Jamie is--it’s too much. Tyler hadn’t come on the show to find love.
///
9) Tyler makes it to hometowns, brings the show to meet his family and his dogs, and actually insists that Jamie come along to. Jamie doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes when another producer mentions it. It’s--fine.
He continues to be fine as Tyler is lovely and sweet with his mom and sisters, as Tyler is adorable with his dogs, as he introduces Liv to each of them in turn. The cameras go on Liv and Tyler’s mom for a little, so then Tyler drags Jamie over, introduces him to each of the dogs too. All of them--humans and dogs alike--clearly love him.
Jamie gets the feeling.
///
10) Tyler’s eliminated after home towns.
Liv pulls him aside, after. “Sorry,” she says, and Tyler shrugs. He likes her, but he can’t really pretend that he’s cut up about this. He’s pretty bummed about how going home means he can’t hang out with Jamie anymore, but he’ll get his phone back, so they can talk.
“No hard feelings,” he tells her. “I hope you’ll be happy.”
She grins, a little knowing. “You too, Tyler,” she says, all sincerity, and glances over his shoulder, where the producers are standing. “I’m pretty sure fraternization rules are over once you’re eliminated, you know.”
Tyler smirks. Of course everyone knew. He’s not capable of being subtle. “You are honestly an amazing woman,” he informs her, and kisses her goodbye.
///
11) Jamie’s not surprised that Tyler stops by to say good-bye before he leaves. He’s probably doing it for everyone. He’s a little concerned--Tyler hadn’t seemed too devastated by being eliminated, but you never know. Tyler’s decent at hiding what he’s feeling for the cameras.
He’s ready to express that, when Tyler knocks on his hotel room door. Except Tyler doesn’t look devastated. He looks--nervous.
“Everything okay?” Jamie asks, as he lets Tyler into his room. Tyler turns around a little, looking at it--he’s never been here, Jamie guesses. Contestants wouldn’t. But Tyler doesn’t look like a contestant anymore, in just sweatpants and a tank top, his hair a little messy. It’s too messy for TV, but it’s a good look. Somehow, it makes him look older.
“Yeah. Or, I think so.”
“I’m sorry, about the elimination--”
“Don’t be.” Tyler turns to face him. “Look, tell me if I’m off base here, but--”
Jamie’s about to ask him about what, but then Tyler’s kissing him.
It takes Jamie a second to get on board, then of course he kisses back. How could he not? Tyler is wild in his arms, pushing, devouring, and Jamie feels wild too, his hands in Tyler’s hair, on his hips.
They break apart infinitely later. Tyler’s definitely messy now. “Fuck, yeah,” Tyler says, and looks like he’s about to fist pump. “I knew you’d be awesome at that.”
Jamie’s too dazed to give him shit for that. “What--really?” he asks, and Tyler snorts.
“You had to have guessed. I’m not subtle, man.”
“I--I didn’t think you could--there’s all the contestants, and Liv, and--”
“And you,” Tyler cuts off, and slides his arms around Jamie’s shoulders. “You’re just as hot as the rest of them, you know.”
“I’m really not.” Jamie’s okay with that.
“You are.” Tyler smirks then. “Want me to prove it?”
Jamie really, really does.
#not pictured: jamie is consistently low key jealous and low key turned on by Tyler wandering around in nothing mroe than a bathing suit#Tyler is consistently trying to figure out what Jamie's deal is#but once sees Jamie with a friend and is convinced and devastated that Jamie's not single for the minute before he realizes it Jamie's brot#all that classic stuff#stars tumblr fic#my fic#annaloveloki#izzy answers
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movie review fan lady here. I know it’s not yet BLOGTOBER, but in advance of that, what are some of the worst tropes of recent horror films, in your opinion? Of course, use whatever definition of “recent” suits your answer best! seems like you’re busy with new projects these days, hope all is well and that you have plenty of time to watch however many horror movies you like this fall!
(first of all, sorry for my uneven typing but i’m using a new laptop that has a really intrusive but also totally inconsistent autocorrect thing and I’m just sick of fucking with it) thanks for saying hello! I have been pretty dormant lately, and it’s encouraging to hear from people who enjoy reading what I write. the mental illness got me bad this summer. this was made unnecessarily difficult by the fact that I had arranged a month-and-a-half-long personal leave from work, during which time I expected to be able to return to “myself” and replenish my inner strength by doing only things that I care about, and most importantly, see what kind of life I lead when I’m not being crushed under the heel of my extremely demanding and shameful job–a perspective few individuals will ever have the privilege of gaining. of course, a lot of what actually happened amounted to a painful reminder of how little I’m really capable of as a person. this has been especially hard to recover from with the restored stress of being at the office. I had my first full-blown panic attack on my first day back. although I suffer from anxiety, I have always been hesitant to describe my episodes of escalating, wracking panic as “attacks”. this is because once when I was young, I witnessed someone going into a panic attack after confessing to me her history of childhood trauma; she went into a total fugue state, dragged her limbs, spun in circles, and made faces until she collapsed, never to remember anything about the experience. I thought, “so that’s what a panic attack is. basically, if you are aware of your surroundings, have basic control of your face and limbs, and can recall the event, then you don’t really have any kind of real problem to complain of.” my “panic attack” was still not as bad as that, but it did involve an interesting lapse of motor control on top of everything else, so I guess I’m giving myself credit for it.
I never stopped watching movies, of course, but I almost totally abandoned letterboxd, save for a weird stint where I reviewed every single pre-Zombie HALLOWEEN movie; I actually suspect that for some reason, letterboxd only sent two of them into the activity feed, so no one even saw them all. so I stopped writing, and then I developed all this self-imposed guilt about failing to maintain my entirely voluntary pleasure-oriented routine, and my feelings of completely meaningless shame around this made it very difficult to start again. I think there’s also a sub-problem where, in actually recording my viewing habits, I started to get really stressed out about how much of my life I just waste on things I don’t even enjoy, just in order to kill time until I get to go to sleep again. for instance: yesterday I watched FATHER FIGURES, an ed helms-owen Wilson road movie that I was not even slightly intrigued by. in it, helms and Wilson are twins on the hunt for the dad they’ve never known, and they basically plod through a series of dopey vignettes: what if he was a MOVIE STAR? what if he was a FAMOUS FOOTBALL PLAYER? et al, ad nauseam. you can imagine what it’s like. *I* could have imagined what it was like. …but actually, there’s this weird sequence like an hour into the movie where (spoiler alert I guess), at the end of a string of dovetailing red herrings, the twins believe they’ve finally traced their real dad to a Boston suburb. they arrive at the guy’s house, expecting to meet a legendary supercop, only to find out that they’re at his wake. to make matters worse, the house is filled with young Irish American thugs who seem to be constantly on the verge of orgiastic violence, and who are already in a dangerously elevated emotional state. meanwhile, in this context, ed helms discovers that the woman with whom he had a one night stand two scenes ago is actually his sister. his and Wilson’s true identities, in addition to this sexual horror, come tumbling into the light of day at this worst of all possible moments, and the dead man’s own identical twin brother has to lay bare the sordid details of their family history to straighten everything out. I was embarrassed to find myself totally riveted to this sequence, which was something like THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW or THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE: ordinary people are absorbed into a secret, separatist subculture that is ruled by its own perverse systems of honor, incest and violence. I thought, “wait a minute, is this movie GOOD now??” of course the answer was, no, absolutely not! but it had me going for a second there. …but my point is, now I’ve seen that, and I still haven’t seen one single Eric Rohmer movie. part of the reason is, I’m afraid they’ll annoy me. don’t I have any kind of consistent thought? don’t I ever do a single thing with purpose?
god, remember when I used to use the anhed-nia blog to work out all kinds of really intense personal problems? I guess I stopped because I started feeling weird about what I was doing with the format, like I felt bad for people who followed during blogtober and weren’t expecting that kind of thing, which is so stupid, I mean it’s my blog and barely anyone follows it for me to worry about anyway. also the mental illness got me. I started feeling like, “why am I even writing this down, like what’s the point, I’m basically just masturbating and being pretentious and I’m not even having any revelations or whatever.” that feeling persists in my whole life, like a lot of people with depression. the constant why-ness of everything. it can be really extreme, like, “ok, I put my left shoe on, but is that REALLY a compelling reason to put my right shoe on? I mean I could just as easily be doing NOTHING instead!” anyway, watch out world, I might start putting personal problems on anhed-nia again.
but uhhh none of that answers your question. I don’t know if I have a proper answer! like, some things come to mind that are not necessarily “tropes” but I do consider them modern problems:
SETTLING UP WITH REALITY: we have this really sad situation now where, in order for a horror story to be compelling, every single movie has to suddenly slam on its brakes and examine what’s going on with everybody’s cell phone. did it get lost? is it broken? poor connection? as soon as this starts happening, all I can think is, “I’m watching a movie. this is the part where the writer has to take a number of laborious, repetitive steps, the conclusion of which I already know for sure, in order to explain to me that whatever is about to happen in the movie could definitely really happen in real life, for real, because the convenience of cell phones could not have prevented it. the writer knows that I have heard of cell phones, and so now we have to make a dry, methodical accounting of the status of all of the cell phones in the movie. once this has been finalized, the actual story may proceed.” I hate this so much. whatever inherent horror there may be in the failure of our phones in times of peril is completely negated by my awareness of the writer’s felt obligation to go around disabling each and every cell phone right in front of me before we can even begin to address the point of his story. let me put it a little bit differently: when we have a home invasion movie in which the villains cut the phone lines, that evokes a horror that is native to this genre. the protagonist feels personally violated, imprisoned, completely separated from their fellow humans, separated even from the form of reality they enjoyed before their victimhood began. the very definition of “home”, as a place that is private, safe, comforting, and under one’s one sovereign rule, is painfully inverted. that is the point of that specific story, in which the telephone has defined semiotic and psychological significance. on the other hand, the problem of cell phones is completely generic. now, in every horror movie of every subgenre, no matter where the characters are or what they’re doing or what we suspect will become of them, nothing can even happen without this dutiful address of the phones. this is only happening because of an absolutely ludicrous obligation people feel for their fantasies to resemble their reality as closely as possible, which flies in the face of the whole idea of having metaphors that help us explore our emotional and spiritual conditions. PS if you’re the kind of person who can’t watch even a really great movie without holding everyone in it to the standard of your own personal pragmatism and logic, then maybe you should ask yourself why the fuck you even watch movies in the first place.
BICKERING AS DRAMA: this may not be a specifically modern problem, although I *feel* like I encounter it most in horror movies from the last two decades. in any horror story with an ensemble cast, an important source of danger is the dissolution of personal relationships. under the strain of their predicament, people who desperately need to trust and protect each other become volatile, angry, cowardly, irrational. fearing for their lives, they lose their ability to cooperate, or even to agree on one most-hopeful solution to their shared problem. in NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, the ongoing fight over whether to hide in the basement or the attic is agonizing, and helps to underline the preexisting, banal political tension between the main characters–in fact, the corrosive social forces of the 1960s are key to this film’s subtext–which now compounds the mortal threat posed by cannibalistic monsters. alternatively, you can have a movie like John carpenter’s THE THING that is mainly composed of protagonists in-fighting; in that case, the irresolvable conflicts strengthen the movie’s message, which is specifically about betrayal, alienation, and loneliness. what I see in a lot of movies now, instead of a focused, purposeful conflict like those, is a deteriorating situation of multiple characters incessantly bickering with each other over the details of their circumstances. no one is making a salient point, or contributing to our understanding of their conundrum, or revealing something particular about themselves. they’re just yelling and sniping and sulking and badgering each other about minutiae, or about the key problem in such broad strokes that their arguments cease to have any meaning. I actually think that this is a consequence of that same boneheaded obsession with realism of which I complained previously. I often feel like these protracted scenes of petty fighting about granular details are a way for the writer to paranoiacally defend themselves against persnickety viewers who complain about “stupid” characters who apparently fail to exercise heroic levels of sober judgment and practicality. these viewers, who are so happy to hurl accusations of “UGH HE SHOULDA JUST _____” at the screen, as if there is anything “just” simple and obvious about the story unfurling, are progressively ruining storytelling for everyone, necessitating these grueling character discussions about the potential consequences of every hair-splitting potentiality of every situation.
EFFICIENCY AND ECONOMY, OR LACK THEREOF: …this is sort of a different kind of point that I want to make, so bear with me. as a (secret, amateur) writer myself, I am plagued by the neurotic urge to explain exactly the way things happen in as comprehensive a fashion as possible. like, I don’t know, if I were writing a story about how someone inherits an old house, I’d probably start stressing out ridiculously about the bureaucracy of how this property changed hands, what kinds of officials would have to be involved, how the new owner evaluates maintenance needs, and EXACTLY how long everything would take. i have an irrational fear of leaving things out, when I absolutely need to leave things out in order for the story to simply be about whatever it is about–which is NOT property transactions. it’s not even that I’m anxious about “realism” precisely–this could apply to a fantasy framework just as well–I just lose track of which details are actually important, and which details I should give the audience credit for intuiting (or not even needing to know). because of this, I try to really notice when a writer deliberately, elegantly leaves a big gap in the action, in order to stay faithful to the story’s spiritual identity. I wish I could think of a good example! but I at least have a good anti-example, which is: I rewatched TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION this year for TEXAS CHAIN SAW (sic) MASSACRE Day. that’s a really crazy fucking movie for a whole lot of different reasons, but one thing I noticed about it is, the DP shows EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS. this became absolutely hilarious to me pretty quickly. is somebody talking? point the camera at them! is somebody reacting facially to the person talking? point the camera at THEM! did someone just walk in the door? now point the camera RIGHT AT THEM, and make sure you get the door in the shot and show the whole thing until the door closes and something else happens! it’s so crazy and nervous. there’s a scene where leatherface has to put a character into a cooler where there’s already another character trapped, so he has to pick up the big hunk of machinery that he used to hold the door closed, and then find a place to put that thing down, and then put the character in the cooler, and then turn around and pick up the thing off the place where he put it down, and then turn around and put the thing back on the thing again, and they show ALL OF IT. it really cracks me up, it’s so unnecessary. I mean, the scene is already in chaos, you just have to show a bunch of motion with the piece of machinery coming in and out of frame, but instead you get this like anal retentive breakdown of exactly what happens to every object in the scene. anyway, I try to notice when I’m feeling compelled to do that kind of insane accounting of everything that happens, and I also try to notice when someone else is really good at NOT doing that!
anyway, thanks a lot for the question! it’s really good for me to get a prompt like that. blogtober is coming after all, and I need to Get Amped. this fall I have horticulture classes at the local botanic garden three nights a week, so it’s going to be tough! if you (y’all) have any movies I haven’t reviewed that you’d like me to talk about, I would be very open to hearing about it, I often get stuck. also feel free to follow me on letterboxd to help pressure me into continuing to use it. https://letterboxd.com/donnerpartyof1/
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Meet Rory Panagotopulos, Creator of Thrashin’ USA
Rory Panagotopulos is a Boston native with a Venice Beach soul, whose lifelong love of skateboarding inspired his short “Thrashin’ USA” our 11th Go! Cartoon. When he’s not animating the crowd-pleasing interstitials of MTV shows like Girl Code, Rory is hanging out with his dog Bosco or creating skate-related content such as gifs of the Gundam robots catching phat air—quality content accessible on his Instagram. I caught up with Rory to talk sketch comedy, bad 80s action sports movies, and turning your childhood neighbors into over-the-top cartoon villains.
How did you start animating?
I always wanted to do art—funny art, if possible. I knew I wanted to animate but didn’t really know where to start. The first things I made were claymations In high school—my aunt and uncle were getting rid of their giant 80s VHS camcorder, so I used that and just hit ‘record’ and ‘stop’ really fast.
An illustrious beginning. Where’d that take you?
I went to college for Computer Science. It was back when the belief was that everything was going to be 3D animated from then on. So I started getting into 3D animation, and found that it wasn’t for me. I’ve always loved drawing and making characters, and I was got lost in all the technicality of 3D. So I started focusing on art in college instead, and realized I could easily use a computer to make 2D animations.
Wait, so… you became a Computer Science major just to do 3D animation?
Yeeeaah. I was so mystified by animation that I was like, “3D animation is done on computers right, so Computer Science major it is.”
Oh man.
It culminated with me and my friend sort of tricking our advisors into letting us make a movie our senior year. He was a film major and I was like an Art major, Comp. Sci. minor at that point. Our movie had 3D animations that I did the full animating on - way too much for one person, so it didn’t look great - but it was an animated movie.
That’s cool. Did you submit it to festivals?
Ohhh, yeah, noo, it wasn’t a fit for festivals. But we did meet people from MTV because of it. Randomly, a dude at MTVU reached out to us after seeing it. And oddly enough, the same person I first met at MTV, 10 years later, is the person I work with now at MTV.
What do you do for MTV now?
Technically the gig is with the independent production company that the executive producer of the shows I work on created. But I make the little explanatory animations for the show Girl Code.
Neat! So did you go straight into freelance animating after school?
Actually, no. Me and the friend I made the film with moved to New York and started doing comedy stuff at Upright Citizen’s Brigade. Just to make stuff, we’d make YouTube videos and would put animation in them.
Comedy stuff! Was that acting, writing, stand-up?
Sketch shows, which we did for about 5 years. They have house teams at UCB, so every month we’d host a different sketch show—it was great training for writing. And we did a few big shows, like one called “Dog Fleet”. It was like a live on-stage Saturday-morning Cartoon parody. Sort of like a Ninja Turtles toss-up, but with dogs.
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Actual dogs onstage?
Oh, no, that would’ve been bad, ha—just people. People with very rudimentary dog ears on their heads. And they were obsessed with beans instead of pizza.
Ah, gotcha. So this comedy stuff, it couldn’t have been paying the bills?
Not quite! I was working at a book publisher, Simon and Schuster, doing the #1 most boring job in the arts. I’d go through editor’s corrections for books and make sure they didn’t mess up the page layout too much. So scrolling through books all day adding commas.
And then you’d let out all that steam with the comedy at night?
Pretty much! I liked that job because it ended at 5pm, and I wouldn’t think about it again until the next morning. Lived that double lifestyle for a while. Then the guy I met at MTV started doing Girl Code, and reached out to me and was like, “Oh, do you still do animation?”. At first I was like, “No”.
Ha! Shut down.
I wasn’t exactly like “No” but I was like, “Oh, I dunno, this comedy thing is pretty cool.” But I eventually got too bored of the other job. So I reached out to him and was like, “Hey, are you still doing that?” And he was like “Actually no, I’m not.” But he graciously introduced me to the new person who was running the show. So that’s how that gig started.
Did you dream of making a cartoon as a kid?
Definitely, I was obsessed with cartoons. We didn’t have cable until I was like 12, so any time a cartoons came on TV, I was watching it. It was basically Ninja Turtles and all the action 80s and 90s cartoons like GI Joe and Centurions. And I was totally obsessed with the X-Men cartoon, which I actually re-watched recently and found to have the most insane complicated plot of any cartoon. I definitely didn’t understand what was going on when I was a kid. I guess I was just like “Oh my God! Wolverine!”
So what do you work on in your own time?
The awesome thing about doing freelance is I can take a full month here and there to work on personal stuff. I did an animated web series a couple years ago called “Garbage Time”. It’s about two kids sitting on the bench for a basketball team, something I did a lot of my freshman year of high school. I did everything for it: writing, casting, recording, animating. I learned why so many people work on animated projects—it’s a lot to make. If I’m more busy, I make wacky photoshops that I usually share on Twitter.
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So did you come to pitch to Go! Cartoons?
I knew of Frederator through Adventure Time or Fairly OddParents. I don’t know what landed me on the website... again with the theme of me not knowing what I’m doing. But I saw the Go! Cartoons program, and was like, “Oh, I definitely want to do this”. “Dog Fleet” was originally going to be my cartoon pitch, but my friend wanted to do it as a sketch show, so that’s how that went.
But I still wanted to make a cartoon, so I came up with two new pitches. My girlfriend and I were coming out to LA for a wedding, so I scheduled my pitch for then, and figured if I’m going all the way out there, I’ll wow them with two - not just one - pitches. In hindsight, neither was good. Eric (our VP Development) gave me great notes and a quick class on pitching, and I took his advice home, came up with and boarded “Thrashin’ USA”, and did a better pitch over Skype.
What was the advice you were given on pitching?
Well, because the shorts are only 5 minutes, character is key. You have to get a very good, likable character out to the audience as quickly as possible. And then you also want the story to be simple and to the point. The ones I’d pitched before, nothing really happened. They were kind of like mumblecore. So when I went back I tried to make a very tight story where actions happened in sequence, and you get to know a character, and you actually feel good at the end.
What inspired “Thrashin’ USA”?
I loved skateboarding in high school and college. I was terrible at it, but I’ve always loved it, and skate culture in general. And it was on my mind at the time because my nephew was turning 5 and wanted a skateboard for his birthday. I was like: #1, it’s crazy that you’re 5 and you want a skateboard; and #2, I was remembering how when you’re a kid, it’s so hard to get anything. So I thought about a kid trying to get a skateboard or get his skateboard back, and that’s where that idea originated.
Also, my neighbor growing up was named Mrs. Tracy. And before I had a board, they always had this old 70s banana board in the back of their garage that I would just see. I’d always think, “Oh man… I just want to get that board.”
Were you guys friendly... was she evil? Is she gonna see your short?!
I think she was a very nice woman - definitely not evil. We were always like, losing balls in her backyard, so I think she was more annoyed with us than anything. The way my dad is… I’m sure he’ll see her on the street and try to explain it to her and she’ll be like, “Okay.”
Who were the inspirations for Pau and Gabby?
Pau basically looks a lot like my nephew, so that’s true to life. With Gabby, I wanted there to be a cool skater girl, and to avoid any kind of ‘damsel in distress’ trope. She’s as good a skateboarder, if not better than Pau.
Did you know any cool skater girls growing up?
Not really. Mostly because me and my one friend in high school who also skateboarded were too bad to go to skateparks or anything. But I think some of the reason behind that was that back then, and still now, skateboarding has an annoying "boys club" vibe. I think part of my intention with Gabby’s character was to raise the representation, in a small way, of skateboarding being a cool thing for girls to do. I’d rather paint a picture of skateboarding that’s more open to everyone.
Well you know one now! Not sure I count as “cool” though. Do you still skateboard?
Nah; the last time I did was back when I was still doing sketch comedy. I was using a skateboard as a prop in a show, so I skateboarded 5 or 6 blocks from the train to the theater, and my knees hurt so much afterward that I was like, “Ok, well, that was fun while it lasted.”
Where you grew up, was skateboarding a big part of the culture?
I grew up in the suburbs of Boston, and definitely not. The things kids liked were baseball and hockey. I watched a lot of TV shows as a kid about skateboarding and California and it always seemed like this awesome fantasy world where everybody skateboarded. Really I only had one or two friends who also skateboarded. But it was this cool thing where we were from a place people wouldn’t skateboard, but we were doing it anyway. And being from Massachusetts, we had to have a chip on our shoulders because it’s cold all the time. So it was this point of pride like, “Yeah, let’s go skate even though it’s freezing.”
Do you know what you’d do with a Thrashin’ USA series?
Well I’ve drawn a lot from the bad skateboarding movies that were made in the 80s and 90s. There’s one called Thrashin’ that is definitely my favorite of them; it’s basically Romeo and Juliet set against a downhill skateboarding race. There’s a rollerblading one called Airborne. And they make no sense. They’re supposed to take place in the normal world, but it’s all over-the-top and skateboarding is the most important thing in the world for everybody. And I was like, these could be good, if the conceit was that this is a fantasy world where skateboarding is super important and everyone cares about skateboarding, cause that’s just not reality. So that’s the idea: to build that kind of world and treat it as a fantasy.
Have you thought about Pau and Gabby’s arcs?
Well I imagine that this world would have levels of competitions. So I see them both entering the town competition, then regional, state, and all the way up to universal competitions. And it’d become a dynamic where they’re working out whether they have feelings for each other, and whether those will be affected by the fact that they’re both very focused on skateboarding and trying to be the best in the world at it.
Would Mrs. Tracy remain a primary antagonist?
Yeah, I like her as an antagonist because one of the goofiest things about those 80s skateboarding movies is how ridiculous the villains are. It’s (dramatic voice) parents, teachers, COPS. You know, people who are generally just trying their best but because they’re enemies of skateboarding, they’re public enemy #1 in this world. So I like the heightening of strict teachers, crazy neighbors—Mrs. Tracy just trying to get vengeance for her azaleas.
What are your biggest influences and favorite cartoons?
For “Thrashin’ USA” specifically, the title comes from the song “Thrashin’ USA” by The Bones Brigade, that actually took their name from a skateboarding crew from the 80s—so doubly ripping off. They were like a thrash metal band I was really into in college that did a lot of songs about skateboarding and eating junk food.
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Some of my favorite movies of all time are the Bill and Ted duology. I think it’s had a big influence on my humor and ideas. I’m a fan of Genndy Tartakovsky’s stuff - definitely Samurai Jack, but I feel like his Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoon gets overlooked. That was my favorite cartoon for a while. One of my favorite animated movies ever is called Interstella 5555. It’s basically a Daft Punk album that they made an anime over, and the story is of a super popular alien pop group getting corporatized by an Earth record company. I also really liked Daria and Beavis and Butthead. When Adult Swim and Toonami became a thing, I was all about that.
And what are you working on now, as personal projects?
Well I was inspired by the whole Go! Cartoons process, so I’ve just been like, coming up with a lot of pitches and character ideas. One that I’m working on now is about a BMX bike gang—sort of like Daria crossed with Akira.
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I’d watch! Thanks for the chat Rory. I’m excited to see the projects you slide into next.
- Cooper
#The Frederator Interview#Frederator Studios#Go! Cartoons#Cartoon Hangover#interview#animation#cartoons#frederator#Thrashin'#Thashin' USA#skateboarding
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Bellarke super villain/super hero au where Bellamy is the villain and Clarke is the hero. I'm thinking Captain Cold/Flash vibes from the Flash show, but idk if you've watched that and am not super torn if you go a different direction.
definitely ended up going a different direction
Bioshock ranks about second or third on the list of Boston-area superheroes Bellamy respects, which is why, when she lands next to him one night while he’s on a stakeout in Dorchester, he doesn’t immediately pick a fight.
“Isn’t your company in Brighton?” he asks instead. “Please tell me you didn’t come all the way out here to bust me. Are you on the BPD payroll now?”
She doesn’t even crack a smile. “No. I came all the way out here to ask for your help.”
That’s a surprise, and from the pointed way Bioshock is looking forward, watching the intersection and not him, she feels about as weird about it as he does.
Bellamy and Bioshock are, nominally, not really on the same side. Bioshock is a corporate super, on the payroll of, last he heard, Polaris, a fairly new tech company with a lot of expensive equipment just waiting to be stolen. This makes Bioshock, at least in common parlance, a hero, someone who has registered her real name and powers with an agency, and who offers her services to anyone who wants to pay her to protect their goods from, well–
From people like him.
“You know we’re not on the same side, right?” he asks. “Isn’t this what Ark is supposed to do for you? Don’t you guys have a union?”
“Umbra,” she says, and it’s not as if they know each other, not as if they’re friends, but something in her tone makes him sit up and take notice. “You think I’d be here if I thought I had a better choice?”
It’s hard to be offended, when he knows she’s right. He can think of a few reasons he might go to a corporate for help, and if he did, he’d know what he was asking. Bioshock must too.
“Okay,” he says. “So, you want my help. What’s up?”
“You know I’m working for Polaris now, right?”
“That was what I heard, yeah.”
“My roommate is too. Not as a super, just as a regular employee. And I’m worried about her.”
“Worried about her how?”
“She hasn’t been acting like herself. She’s been spending a lot of time at work, which–she’s always been a workaholic. But not like this. And everything Ark told me about the job has been true, so–if there’s something going on, I think Ark knows about it.”
He lets out an actual cackle. “Holy shit, are you going rogue?”
But she’s serious. “Not yet. Not until I have more information.”
“So where do I come in?”
“You can get information I can’t. You’re unaligned, and I know you break into corporations and get stuff to sell. If you can steal tech, you can steal information.”
“And you can’t?”
“I’m a guard. I can give you information, but if they catch me inside, I’m fucked.”
That’s true too. Corporates going rogue is a big deal; Ark knows everything about her, and if they knew she turned against them, they’d blast her real identity everywhere. She has protection Bellamy doesn’t have, but only as long as she does as she’s told.
“So you want me to get fucked instead.”
“Better you than me,” she teases, but it actually lands as a joke. “It’s not like your powers aren’t more suited to espionage than mine.”
“True.” He looks at her, the slick profile that gives almost nothing away. Like most corporates, her costume is top of the line, military grade protection. Even through all the layers of disguise, he thinks she looks tired. “Why should I trust you?”
She must have been expecting the question, because there’s no hesitation. She leans forward, pulling off her cowl and exposing her face. She’s pretty, but unfamiliar, not that that’s surprising. This city is full of people he doesn’t know. He could have walked by her a hundred times and he probably still wouldn’t know her. “My name is Clarke Griffin,” she says. “I’ll give you my address too, if you want.”
It takes him a moment to recover from the shock. “Why do you trust me?”
“I did my research. Will you do it?”
It could still be a trap, but, honestly, it feels like a lot of work to trap him. Especially from Ark, whose companies Bellamy rarely hassles. Even Tempest probably doesn’t care enough to run a long con on him. They have to have better things to do with their time.
“I want some more proof of identity. Not your address, something that links you to the name.”
“I’m on Facebook and I work at the MFA. I’m doing tours tomorrow from noon to five.”
“Okay. If I’m in, I’ll meet you back here tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel.”
She nods, pulls her cowl back on. “Thank you.”
“I haven’t agreed yet.”
“I know. But thank you anyway.”
And then she’s gone.
He goes to the MFA the next day and walks past Bioshock in the galleries. She’s at the head of a tour, with a name tag reading Clarke on her chest.
So that’s that. They’re doing this.
*
“So, what am I looking for, exactly?”
Bellamy’s superpower is pretty awesome, if he does say so himself. Like most powers, it started manifesting when he was in high school, and he found he could just blend into and through things. He can’t just hide in shadows, he can melt into walls.
Like Bioshock said, he’s really good at espionage.
Her voice crackles back through the communicator. “My roommate’s name is Raven Reyes.”
“Is she here?” he asks.
“Right now? No, she should be at home.”
“Where does she think you are?”
“She knows what I do.”
“Wow.”
“Does no one know about you?”
“No one I’m not related to.”
“Is that hard?”
“If I wanted people to know who I was, I’d be a corporate. If your roommate isn’t here, why do I care about her name?”
“Because I think whatever she’s working on is doing something bad to her. She started off telling me all about it, and now every time I ask she says she’ll tell me when it’s ready.”
“Ominous.”
“Yeah. I might just be paranoid, but–”
“Better safe than sorry.”
“Yeah. Her project is called ALIE, A-L-I-E.”
“How’s she acting different? Just not talking about it?”
“Not just that. She’s–she was in an accident a few years ago. Her leg. She’s been living with chronic pain, and now she’s just–not. Which would be fine if I thought she was–it feels like she was replaced by an alien that doesn’t understand what pain is.”
“So, creepy as fuck?”
“Pretty much.” She sighs. “I know I sound like an asshole.”
“You don’t. You sound worried.”
“Worried that my friend isn’t in constant pain.”
Bellamy melts through a wall into a room with a bunch of files, which is a good start. He’s not much of a hacker, but he’s found most places keep at least some hard copies. “She would have told you if she was getting treatment, right?”
“Yeah. All she says is that it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“Yeah,” he says, pulling open the A drawer and scanning for ALIE. “That’s creepy as fuck.”
Bioshock snorts. “Thanks for the validation.”
“Any time.” He pauses, but they’re sort of friends now. After a fashion. “What are you going to do? If you’re right about all this. Polaris is dirty, Ark is in on it. What’s the plan?”
“Figure out how to get Raven out, and then–she’s good with computers. I’m pretty sure she could make us new identities.”
“So you’d leave?”
There’s a pause. “My mom’s a corporate too. I registered with Ark before I really knew what it meant. I’m not saying I regret it, but–I didn’t really think about what it would mean.”
The ALIE file is thick, and if Bellamy takes it someone might find out. “I’ve got something for you, but it’s on paper. You think we can make copies and bring it back tonight?”
“I’m imagining you going into a Kinkos in costume. It’s cute.”
“I was just going to go to the library, they tend to have less security. How long are you on patrol here? Can I leave and come back?”
“Yeah, I can stick around.”
The room has a window, which means he can just slide through the wall and out of the building. “Doesn’t this suck with your day job?” he asks. “Late nights?”
“Can you afford to not have a day job?”
“I work from home,” he lies. “And I don’t have a night job, remember? I just do what I want.”
“Brag about it. I see you,” she adds.
“Huh, didn’t know you were on this side of the building.” He finds her, floating in the sky. “Are you strong enough to carry me?”
“Nope.”
“Then I’ll see you soon.”
He takes his bike over to the library and makes copies the old-fashioned way, with the ancient copy machine that doesn’t keep any records. It’s too late by the time he’s getting back to Polaris, but Bioshock is still there, sitting on the roof, waiting. He gives her the copy and returns the file, and suddenly realizes that this might be it.
He might have done all she needs him to do.
“Thank you,” she says.
“Sure.” He looks her up and down. “Can I trust you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to see how this goes,” he admits. “But I don’t know if I want to give you my number.”
That makes her laugh. “You know where to find me.”
“Just until you break your roommate out of this and drop off the map.”
“I’ll leave you a note.”
“You might need help,” he says.
“And you want to help me?”
Before this, Bellamy knew a few things about Bioshock. She’s only ever worked with Ark, not Tempest or any of the right-wing, conservative super agencies. When she talks about super affairs, she’s fair and thoughtful. She’s put some villains behind bars, but they’ve been ones he considers bad, the ones who hurt people, not just independent thieves like him.
And she came to him, and she trusted him. That means something too.
“I do, yeah.”
“Then it kind of sounds like you trust me,” she says, and he has to smile.
“I guess so. So, uh, I’m Bellamy. If you roommate’s home, do you want to come back to my place to look at that?”
She smiles. “That would be great, yeah.”
*
It’s not exactly an easy project, but it turns out the two of them are a good team. Clarke brings in a rogue corporate she knows named Monty, who fills the very important role of actually knowing something about technology, and between Clarke’s access to Polaris, Bellamy’s access to everything, and Monty’s hacking abilities, they manage to figure out what Polaris was trying to do (some kind of creepy mind control), how to get Raven out of it (incomprehensible technology), and how to get them all to somewhere new (Bellamy’s friend Miller’s place in Seattle) with new identities.
Which is actually kind of awkward.
“How did you get involved in this again?” Raven asks him. She’s still a little hazy, in the memories. “Like–where did you come from?”
“I actually don’t know,” he admits, looking to Clarke. “Why did you ask me?”
Her neck goes a little pink, but her expression stays neutral. “I found a list of villains and picked one who’d never killed anyone or made any decisions I disagreed with.”
“Romantic,” says Raven, and Clarke’s neck goes pinker. “What was your code name again?”
“Umbra,” Monty supplies.
“Oh,” says Raven. “Now I’ve got it.”
Bellamy wants to press, but there’s no way Clarke’s going to talk about it with everyone else around. So he waits until Monty and Raven go off to do their own thing before settling next to her. “So, why did you really pick me?”
“Hm?”
“Clarke,” he says, nudging her shoulder. “Come on.”
She catches her lip in her teeth, looking over at him with a somewhat shy smile. “I liked you.”
“Liked me?”
“Fair fights, the few times we had them. Good statements, when you made public statements. Great ass,” she admits, and he laughs.
“You liked me,” he teases, and she glares.
“Shut up.”
He leans closer, feeling a smile growing on his face. He’d been hoping, honestly. “Do you still like me?”
In lieu of answering, she fists her hand in his shirt, pulling him in, and he’s still smiling when she kisses him.
“You’re my favorite super,” she tells him, and he bumps his nose against hers.
“Right back at you.”
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New Netflix Christmas Movies in 2020 Ranked from Best to Worst
https://ift.tt/3q2Rba0
Netflix is doing its level best to eat everyone else’s entertainment lunch, and the holiday movie game is no exception. Just a few short years after planting the flag that was the cult megahit A Christmas Prince, the streamer has more offerings than ever, including some sequels to their top-notch 2018 productions. We break down some of this winter’s already released heavy hitters so you know what to watch and what to skip.
Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey
Available Now
This star-studded Christmas musical is the most magical of the bunch. Picture The Wiz meets Willy Wonka, with John Legend as a producer. Forest Whitaker stars as a down-and-out toymaker who has lost his touch and everything else that makes life special: his wife (Sharon Rose) has passed and his daughter (Tony winner Anika Noni Rose, Little Fires Everywhere, The Princess and the Frog) moved away, estranged. Years earlier he created a unique matador toy that comes to life (voiced by a delightfully villainous Ricky Martin, who has a lot of fun with a wandering accent). The naughty toy and the toymaker’s apprentice (Kegan-Michael Key) left with the toymaker’s book of ideas, putting him out of business and making themselves mega-rich.
Things really get going when the toymaker’s granddaughter (bonafide star Madalen Mills, who I can’t believe is a newcomer) comes to town and she, along with a neighborhood boy with aspirations of being a great toy inventor, try to save the toymaker from himself. There’s singing, dancing, baroque steampunk galore, earnest lessons learned, and magic that’s something like science. It’s the kind of movie the phrase “family fun adventure” was invented to describe.
Clocking in at more than two hours, this one could tighten up the runtime a bit, but that just means there are plenty of safe opportunities to refill your eggnog or run to the restroom. I dare you to watch this movie and not feel the holiday spirit.
Operation Christmas Drop
Available Now
In order to protect her boss’ interests, congressional aide Erica (our girl Kat Graham/Bonnie Bennet from Vampire Diaries!) is sent to a military base in the Pacific over Christmas to find excess spending in order to justify budget cuts. Her biggest target is Operation Christmas Drop, a real-life program where service members from the U.S., Japan, and Australia drop presents (and life-saving supplies) to remote surrounding islands. Hyper-focused Erica knows there’s a possible promotion on the line and she has to work harder than a bunch of white dudes named Matt back in DC in order to get it, putting her at odds with the base’s own Santa, Capt. Andrew Jantz (Andrew Ludwid, Vikings, The Hunger Games).
Any time one of these movies has a protagonist of color, it’s unfortunately notable, though Netflix (with the exception of the Christmas Prince franchise) creates more diverse offerings than just about anyone else. In addition to directly engaging with how much harder the Ericas of the world have to work to get their due, Operation Christmas Drop also highlights the people who live on Guam and the surrounding islands, as the first full-length major studio movie filmed there.
Featuring the old favorite romance trope “enemies to lovers,” a tropical Christmas, and some of the real-life people who make the actual Christmas Drop possible, Operation Christmas Drop is an ideal holiday romcom. It’s still goofy at times and heart-fluttery at others, and of course everything will work out in the end, but it’s better written than most of what’s on TV and casting Kat Graham is always a good choice.
The Princess Switch, Switched Again
Available Now
It’s not Christmas until you’ve seen Vanessa Hudgens chloroform herself. The sequel to 2018’s The Princess Switch, The Princess Switch, Switched Again, rightly knows that Kevin (Nick Sagar) is a better leading man than the walking melba toast that is Prince Edward (Sam Palladio). When we last saw the sous chef dad with the six-pack abs who likes sappy Christmas movies and wearing the hell out of sweaters, he was making out with Lady Margaret. In the two years since then, they’ve split up, the king of Montenaro has passed away, and Margaret’s cousin who was next in line for the throne has abdicated, which means Lady Margaret will be crowned on Christmas. Naturally.
The Princess Switch franchise has found the sweet spot between “painfully bad” and “so bad it’s good.” The latest iteration adds what the first lacked – a worthy villain. Vanessa Hudgens gleefully vamps around as a Kardashian-esque cousin of Lady Margaret’s who goes after the Montenaran crown. It’s fun to watch Hudgens be bad, and it adds a requisite layer of novelty to the proceedings.
There’s also a little crossover moment from the Christmas Prince franchise. It’s very quick and I don’t think anyone even says a word, but it’s a fun one for fans. It also probably means that in the world of the NCCU (Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe), The Christmas Prince movies are documentaries, which is more than I can handle.
It’s a rarity, but with The Princes Switch, the sequel is even better than the original. The Princess Switch 2 knows exactly what kind of movie it is – fun, silly, romantic, distracting, a purveyor of both great and terrible fashion, and maybe a little eye roll-inducing. Perfection.
Holidate
Available Now
If you like a little spice with your sugar, Holidate is the right holiday rom-com. Netflix is already the anti-Hallmark in this category, trading judgey and Jesus-y for a sense of humor and soundtracks worth bookmarking on Spotify. And Holidate doubles down on the snark and PG-13-ness of it all.
Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey star as Sloane and Jackson, two singles sick of shrugging off a million questions and setups throughout the holiday season. The cast is rounded out with Frances Fisher (Watchmen, Titanic), Jessica Capshaw from Grey’s Anatomy, SNL’s Alex Moffat, Jake Manley from The Order, and Manish Dayal of Halt and Catch Fire and The Hundred-Foot Journey, proving he deserves to play a romantic lead.
Taking inspiration from Sloane’s perpetually single Aunt Susan (Kristin Chenoweth, who gets away with being so much weirder than anyone else ever could thanks to her many charms), Luke and Sloane go out as platonic dates to a year’s worth of holidays, starting with New Year’s. That also means that while we see two Christmas’, the movie spends a large chunk of time on the other holidays – St. Patrick’s Day, the Fourth of July, Halloween, etc – so this one doesn’t always feel the most Christmas-y.
Read more
TV
Christmas Movies and TV Specials: Full 2020 Schedule
By Den of Geek Staff
Movies
The Best Alternative Christmas movies
By Mark Harrison
This flick may end up being too tart (or just plain awkward) for some, and the repeated use of the word “pussy” during what’s ostensibly a Christmas movie is not for everyone. But if all the sappiness of the season is feeling too saccharine and you’re sick of being seated at the kids table or getting grilled about when you’ll finally get married, Holidate might just hit the spot.
The Christmas Chronicles 2
Available Now
The follow-up to one of Netflix’s best family holiday offerings, The Christmas Chronicles 2 brings back Kurt Russell’s cool Santa for a sequel that has 100 percent more wormholes and time travel than fun side characters and snappy jokes. There’s a much larger role for Goldie Hawn’s Mrs. Claus, who is something of a kind-hearted Christmas sorceress. Kate (Darby Camp, Big Little Lies) is now staring down the barrel of teenagerhood and spending Christmas in Cancun while her mom makes heart-eyes at a new guy, who brings with him his 10 year-old son, Jack (Jahzir Bruno).
Big brother Teddy (Judah Lewis) moves into the backdrop as Kate and Jack go on an adventure in the North Pole, squaring off with one of Santa’s former elves, Belsnickel (Julian Dennison, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Deadpool 2).
While it’s always nice to revisit a favorite – and Christmas Chronicles is so much about the best aspects of a family movie – the sequel loses a lot of that appeal. Without a clear and compelling story to drive the plot forward like the original had, Christmas Chronicles 2 lags significantly throughout and it’s unclear when the adventure starts, what it’s goals are, and then the movie even struggles to wrap up as a result.
It doesn’t help that this movie is bogged down by some convoluted mythology tying the elves to Christianity via the Star of Bethlehem that low-key paints Santa as a Moses-like figure.
The musical number does bring things back to life for a while. This time it’s in a 1990-era Logan airport in Boston with Darlene Love singing a duet with Santa instead of Stevie Van Zandt, though they are singing his song, “The Spirit of Christmas.”
This makes for Darlene Love’s second appearance in the NCCU; The first was Holiday Rush, where she played Rush’s Aunt Jo. I’m ignoring the fact that she’s credited as “Denise” in Christmas Chronicles 2 and choosing to believe that Aunt Jo worked a desk for Pan Am, TSA or whoever in the ‘90s to pay the bills while waiting for her true calling as a singer to take off.
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square
Available Now
In between funding a possible cure for the coronavirus and trying to solve illiteracy, Dolly Parton found time to star in and write 14 original songs for a Christmas special. The great Debbie Allen of Fame fame (more recently, Dr. Catherine Avery on Grey’s Anatomy) directs this all-singing, all-dancing Christmas musical, bringing her multi-talented prowess to bear. That means this thing follows the musical tropes more closely than those of a typical Christmas TV movie, even though it also falls into the Hallmark penchant for religiosity that feels a bit off.
The best parts of Christmas on the Square are all the toe-tapping small-town songs about the townsfolk banding together to stop local Scrooge named Regina (played with adroit dry wit by Christine Baranski) from selling off their town. There’s a pastor named Christian (obviously) and a cute kid who gets hurt but only in a way that’s dramatic and leaves her still very cute and able to join in the final town celebration. That’s the kind of silly holiday fun we all signed up for.
Regina’s best friend Margeline (Jenifer Lewis, The Princess and The Frog, Black-ish) is a scene-stealer and the back half of the movie is lesser for her relative absence. The numbers get a little less zippy and the movie feels a lot longer than roughly an hour and a half. Somewhere along the way, we get the sort of slutshame-y backstory of Baranski’s character, whose first-ever high school dance resulted in a pregnancy which she (obviously) carried to term. Her father took her baby away from her while she was crying in the delivery room, giving it up for adoption. Pretty intense for the genre!
It’s not like the movie becomes a portrait of gritty realism from there–Dolly Parton is definitely a floating, glowing, rhinestone-encrusted angel, although that’s closer to what folks come for. An underutilized Jeanine Mason (Roswell, NM) and Matthew Johnson (Songland) – whose voice is arresting – add to the fun, but there’s no two ways around it: It’s an odd little movie.
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Dear Prime Time Player
Hello, lovely writer!
I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3 (and have been since LJ days, but my LJ is locked down and I only have a DW to see locked things). I have anon messaging off, but mods should be able to contact me if you have any questions.
Aubrey-Maturin | Discworld | Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun | Legend of Korra | Team Fortress 2
General likes:
– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.
– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one's situational or ethical judgment with someone else's, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.
– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.
– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).
– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.
– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.
– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.
General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes.
A note: I'm generally fine with "/" ships where the fic doesn't contain a kiss, overt declaration of love, etc. I'll trust that you wrote it with shippy intent and don't expect you to force in something that wouldn't fit the story.
—
Fandom: Aubrey-Maturin Series
Ship(s): Clarissa Oakes & Diana Villiers & Sophie Aubrey, Diana Villiers & None, Clarissa Oakes/Diana Villiers
I'm finding myself most excited to read about the women in Aubrey-Maturin. I've always liked Diana, and I'm interested in stuff like, how can I say this, the female household that they're living in when Jack and Stephen are at sea, Diana's longing for and seizure upon any kind of freedom she can find and whether or not she thinks the persona everyone knows is "her", Clarissa's way of seeing and moving in the world. I'd love to read something where any of these combinations (or solo) have something to make choices about and show their strengths and desires. Espionage-related adventures or other small-scale casefic, encountering men in society that Clarissa knows from her previous life, dealing with a problem as a family/household? Diana learning her way around Boston or Sweden, or picking up new extreme sports? AU where women can be in the Navy and we get to see what they'd be like as sailors or officers??? (I'd prefer that we see them at a point where they are not at odds over romantic issues with men.) If writing Clarissa/Diana specifically, I'd love something of their POVs/voices on the idea of lesbianism, if that makes sense, but I also am perennially into the ways that f/f couples could live together in history without occasioning comment (they're raising a child together because they're such good friends and one is a widow while the other's husband is always away, of course).
—
Fandom: Discworld
Ship(s): Magda "Tonker" Halter/Maladict/Tilda "Lofty" Tewt, Magda "Tonker" Halter/Polly Perks/Tilda "Lofty" Tewt, Mildred Froc/Alice "Wazzer" Goom, Polly Perks & Samuel Vimes, Jack Jackrum & Polly "Ozzer" Perks, Maladict/Polly Perks
Tonker/Lofty/Mal or Tonker/Lofty/Polly - These just seemed like ships that would be interesting to see - I guess I imagine them as being short-term given Tonker and Lofty’s one true love, but I’d be interested in seeing why Tonker and Lofty might let someone else in, why Mal or Polly might accept, and how that’d play out. Probably post-canon? How does it come about, if Tonker and Lofty have retired (to be criminals/freedom-fighters, or did they just rob the one bank to get enough to retire on and burn down the one place as personal revenge?) while Mal and Polly are still in the army?
Polly & Jackrum or Polly & Vimes - Just more of Polly and her mentor/s! I love that Monstrous Regiment is about a woman who joins the army in response to an immediate crisis but comes to learn that she’s a cunning bastard and that being a sergeant is what she’s good at. More of Polly learning from Jackrum (or deciding to do things differently, having things to teach) would be great. (She hasn’t heard nearly all Jackrum’s stories - or, even in retirement, there must be some adventure they could have, or something could come up around Jackrum’s big secret, or the book of blackmail.) So would Polly finding a new mentor in Vimes, learning how things work in Ankh-Morpork (as big city - how does she react to all the cultural differences? - or as a power structure where the rules of getting stuff done might be different than in Borogravia) or across periodic meetings when he’s in Borogravia. What are they cynical about, what do they believe in?
Froc/Wazzer - Something with Froc and her loyal secretary/aide, who now has a place in the world, could be really sweet. Wazzer has a connection to the Duchess that could be really meaningful to Froc, but she's also her own person with her own experiences that I'm sure Froc will learn to appreciate, and vice versa.
Mal/Polly - I will always be happy to receive more of this ship. I'm all about the post-canon loyalty kink for them, the different strengths or sacrifices they have at their disposal for each other (Polly’s practicality and cunning, Mal’s intimidating coolness and/or potential berserker rage that Polly might even have to leash in). Polly sends Mal on a dangerous mission; Mal goes off-leash rescuing Polly, or Polly has to bring that potential berserker rage to heel; something about the post-canon rank difference on top of the class difference (Mal is wealthy and cultured and typical commission material and yet is a corporal under Sergeant Perks’s command)...I love high sexual tension in a military context, but also love mutual pining whether from near (if they continue serving in the same regiment, essentially together all the time and unable to act on it) or from far (what if the job separated them - LDR, epistolary?).
I request this fandom constantly, as well as some of the loyalty kink stuff I'm talking about, so I've got more in my "dear author letters" tag.
Fandom-Specific DNW/Exception: gender headcanons, identity musing, or non-canonical pronouns. “He” or “she” for Jackrum are both fine, but I would not want to read the character making a big deal about gender identity or pronouns. Also, er, PWP would probably be fine for the Tonker/Lofty/* ships, although I’m still interested more in the character dynamics than in what would be hot. If writing Mal, please no vampire romance tropes (such as turning or immortality) as focus.
—
Fandom: Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun
Ship(s): Hori Masayuki & Kashima Yuu
I love how ride-or-die obsessed with each other these two are. The bit where Kashima leaves Hori women's clothing in his locker and he's deeply frustrated but also awed by her ability to put an outfit together! How into acting opposite each other and especially dueling each other they get! The coda to the bull scene! I'd be into a story about them acting in a play together or him directing her in a play - working together to create something awesome and intense that shows off both their abilities - or something where they (as per canon) are either intentionally or unintentionally in a tropey situation that may or may not correspond to their gender. Especially (I think, for these two) a trope from a dramatic non-slice-of-life genre. Future fic could also be fun, where they're adults who are still creative collaborators and/or each other's biggest fans in a professional or personal capacity. (Would future!Hori and/or future!Kashima have a girlfriend or wife? Kashima's "ALL THREE OF US WILL HANG" re: Hori's potential future wife is practically memetic in my house.)
I've requested this fandom before, so feel free to check out previous letters in my "dear author letters" tag. (I see from a previous letter that I suggested "give them magical powers" as a potential exception to my unrequested-AUs DNW!)
Fandom-Specific DNW: I would strongly prefer that Kashima's feelings about Hori not be written as overtly romantic or sexual. I think they're probably the most important people to each other, but I don't see her that way. (I'm amused by the possibility of Hori crushing on guy!Kashima, but ultimately, "&" rather than "/".)
—
Fandom: Legend of Korra
Ship(s): Korra & Kuvira, Korra & Zaheer, Lin Beifong/Mako
One thing I enjoyed about seasons 3 and 4 of Korra was the writing team's attempt to write villains who were sincerely committed ideologues with valid points, even if they became evil in pursuit of their goals, and to figure out how Korra could relate to those villains as the Avatar and as the person that she is. I loved how Korra needed to seek help from Zaheer because as an anarchist he truly opposed what Kuvira was doing and wanted to help Korra, and how she was able to empathize with Kuvira at the end of s4 because the two have some big personality similarities. How might they continue to work together or influence each other after the end of s4? I don't need a redemption arc if that's not what you're interested in writing - Zaheer and Kuvira can absolutely continue to believe that their ideals were correct and even that not all of their methods were wrong - but I would be interested in reading about Korra getting more mental/spiritual tutoring from her enemy Zaheer and deciding how much of that she wants to integrate into her practice, seeking Kuvira's advice on how to handle ongoing developments in the Earth Kingdom as it transitions to a republic, sparring or practicing bending with Kuvira, Spirit World meditation adventures with Zaheer... (I haven't read the comics, so you can either take or leave comics canon.)
Or, write me some Lin/Mako! I like that in Mako, Lin finds a mentee who is as cynical and stoic and prickly as she is, with lots of mutual respect for each other's police work. I'd be super into loyaltykink dynamics (whether plotty crimesolving casefic or not - and maybe, like, "of course my feelings for my older mentor/younger protégé are just professional respect and devotion to my team/to the cause of policing" type thing) and/or putting them into scenarios that are Not Dates because they're at the fancy restaurant to bodyguard the candidates, they're undercover, they're just getting takeout because they're working late on a case... They're both terrible at having and expressing emotions so this can only go great. Oh, and absolutely feel free to acknowledge the age difference; Lin deserves a boy toy after everything she's been through, right?
—
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
Ship(s): Administrator/Miss Pauling, Miss Pauling & Spy
Admin/Pauling is a ship that desperately needs some loyaltykink. Pauling has had MULTIPLE speeches in the comics about her devotion to Helen - I especially love the one to Gray Mann. ("Stop her? Why would I stop her? I've worked for her my whole life. I've lied for her. Framed people for her. Killed people for her. Do you think I'd do all that if I didn't know what she is? What she's capable of? Do you think I'm some kind of stupid pawn here? I know exactly what she could do with that kind of power, and I'll be right there with her when she does it.") I would love to get a fic that gets into Pauling's loyalty to Helen and willingness to be the one getting her hands dirty on Helen's behalf, into Helen's appreciation for what Pauling can do and decisions about how to direct all that competence while keeping her safe enough; how far they'd go or what they'd do for each other. Expanding something in their backstory, maybe something alluded to in that speech? Something in the present/future now that Helen is revivified and hot? (Helen trusting Pauling to inherit everything and become the boss herself?)
Alternately, I'm very fond of what we see of Miss Pauling's friendship with the Spy, given that she seems to see him as one of the only competent/sane people she has to work with and vice versa. Per the Tough Break update they go to wine tastings together and he's tried to teach her to play piano; I would love more of their friendship, whether on the job (she's more in the know than he is, but he also seems to see her as a mentee, and they both love guns) or at leisure (wingmanning each other to pick up women, going to the opera or something?) Would also be cool with Femspy.
Fandom-Specific DNW: Please stick to Miss Pauling's canon lesbian orientation if the subject comes up.
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Revelations and Truths
So it’s been building up to this moment, the first encounter between the Teen Titans and Mary Grayson the Talon. This story here is based upon “Mary the Talon”, “Mission” and “Investigation” so i highly recommend those stories before immediately going for this one.
WARNING: this story contains blood, gore and scenes unsuitable for little children. Parental Discretion is advised.
Also I would like to thank @lightdusk and @nightglider124 inspiring me to make this story come true. If you have requests and ideas for future story, please ask it would be very appreciated. :-)
Prologue: May 6th, Location: Unknown
“Arise.”
She was rose amongst the voice she had heard.
“You have shown excellent progress throughout the years…and yet we could not fully grasp your trust in us.”
“Master, if I may, my missions have been successful upon the first day I have taken my oath upon thee and further more…”
“Silence”
She fell into silence. The vision however began once more as the Master spoke. Words flew through her eyes, and deep into her mind, no her very soul.
“Mama, m-Mama d-d-Daddy? Please be okay. Please”
Mary unintentionally began breathing heavily. Her Little Robin was calling out to her. He needed his Mama and he needed her now. A crack bounced across the Labyrinth as the Master strikes his whip on the ground in order to gain her attention.
“Dear Madam, have you blocked your ears from hearing these graceful words of your trust in us?”
The owl dressed woman quickly nodded to the Master’s question as more of that young boy’s voice began to pierce her soul.
“Mama, are you hurt?”
“Mama, please be okay!”
“Just hang in there, Mama! The doctors are going to help you and Daddy!”
“Mama…I Love you”
“…Love is a weakness”, The Master concluded.
The Talon had realized whose Love was told by her Master was weak, her love for Richard, her love for her husband John….her love that comes with being a mother…was a sign of her being weak?
“It is not.” Mary speaks.
The master behind his Owl mask has his eyes widen “What WAS THAT?”
Mary raises her head with her glowing goggled eyes staring in spite towards the gathering of Owl masked men and women before her.
“Love builds strength, Love binds one’s soul with the souls of others, and Love should NOT be treated as weak.”
A much younger man with an Owl mask speaks right behind the Master jokingly, “It appears we have upset Mama Bird here”
That foolish man seals their fates however, for with those words uttered, a dagger that was on the top of Mary’s knife belt suddenly found itself into said man’s throat in a matter of seconds, with precious red fluid immediately leaking profusely. The other Owls couldn’t help but feel a sense of horror at the grisly sight.
“Why yes, Mama Bird is quite upset. My personal advice is….RUN.” Mary says this as the two mini swords strapped to her back suddenly became within her hands as she begins to dash towards the platform the rest of owls sit upon. Before Mary can climb the ledge however, a massive man dressed in similar albeit different owl-like uniform arises, knocking Mary on her feet.
“Mary Lloyd, the Masters have sentenced you to death.”
Mary with a tiny smirk coming on her masked face whereas the Owls flee simply responds, “You are talking to a dead woman so I’m afraid that sentence is rather moot.”
Jump City, about two days later.
It was a seemingly calm night for the city as children rushed to their beds and the parents prepared for the next day at work. The street crime was relatively low for the night as the villains hadn’t planned any major scheme threatening the city or even its banks. Nonetheless it was nights including this one in which even the slightest of criminal break-ins can happen.
This was a possibly one family in the city’s richer districts takes note of as they lock their doors with extra bolts hoping to prevent the criminal scum of the city from reaching their wallets or perhaps more importantly their daughter when they’re asleep. However, in the midst of locking the final bolt, two distinct eyes of their servants, the Talon, are seen in a relatively close distance. Obviously, the fellow Owls have sent the Talon as a messenger. With such both parents take their white Owl masks as the Talon enters their home.
Perfect, Mary thinks with her feet barely stepping unto this couple’s front door. They do not expect or even have the slightest clue of what had happened with the rest of Jump’s Owl Nest and how most either fled back to Gotham or more commonly met the nasty end of her blades, both short and long. Her new ‘mission’ was a simple one: let the Court know now of their precious talon has finally realized who she is, why she is the way she is, and takes into account of all the lives slain by her hand and all the other talons. Now she demands one simple choice to them: leave the innocents in this City and these supposed heroes called Titans alone or suffer the terrifying consequences with her blades. Now it was this family’s to see that first hand.
“What news from the Court?” the woman of the two asks.
The Talon at first remains utterly silent.
“Speak quickly” the woman’s husband asks.
“I must first ask”, Mary says while keeping her voice mostly subdued in which should make sure they do not recognize her, “is your daughter well informed of our ways?”
“Oh, most certainly Yes”, the woman says with utter glee in her voice, “she will be delighted to meet a fine servant to our cause like you.”
Mary couldn’t help but feel a tinge of disgust in that statement since during her indoctrination into the Court, many children, especially girls, cheered in joy as her torture in the Labyrinth played on, as if this whole thing was one giant game to them. Thank God almighty, Richard never was friends with these….monsters in his time at the circus. On a quick note, where is Richard at the moment? Mary can only pray that he’s safe, at least under police protection since it was a crime scene, not really an accident that happens on that one performance at Gotham.
But yes unto the matter at hand with these savages….
Meanwhile…
Robin had just completed his sixth turn around within the ghettos of Jump City. This city in which he had been living in since about 3 years ago has done much to him within that amount of time. From his first crook to catch robbing the banks, meeting Starfire and the others, and of course the ever looming presence of Slade in which he knows can exploit his feelings of self doubt and desire for absolute justice to once again attempt a hostile takeover of the criminal underground.
However, at the moment, Slade was not the one uber mysterious criminal not yet captured that currently holds Robin’s attention. That distinct honor goes to Chucky Sol’s murder whose electrum ‘blood’ sample has left him baffled to…what exactly it is. This especially becomes a forensic nightmare for Robin since he and Cyborg have recently discovered that Sol was NOT this mystery person’s only kill; far from it actually, that very same electrum has in fact been recorded with various crimes and unsolved murder cases that had been appearing since he was at least eight years old ranging from St Louis, New York, Boston, and most prominent of all Gotham. Yes, these were murder cases not even the Batman can solve and apparently they followed him all the way here. They needed to find this person and fast.
“Kid Flash, how goes your end?” Robin asks through his T Communicator to his old friend Wally West, the Kid Flash for he covered the ghettos outside of his range thanks to his trademark super speed.
“Wish I can say I found something Dude, but apparently the lack of pretty much anything here more apparent than my lack of dinner for today. That’s short for flat out nothing” Kid Flash shrugs rather sadly in reply to Robin’s call.
“Got nothing over here either” Beast Boy states on his end of the call
“Dead zoned over here, man” Cyborg mumbles tiredly
“Nada” Raven deadpans out for an answer.
Then however came in Starfire’s response, “I have found something, something flying through the air…like one of your Earth’s ‘birds’”
Robin immediately perked at that finding, “track it Star and send us the coordinates.” He ordered and immediately to every one of the other Titans, the address of Starfire’s latest location were sent; 1940 Bill Finger Drive. In one of the richer parts of the cities was this creep showing up. They needed to get there NOW.
And so, the Teen Titans all converge to that address and a mission they don’t know yet but will bring a new spin on the term ‘criminal’
1940 Bill Finger Drive, five minutes later…
Beast Boy arrive the last while everyone else has met at Starfire’s coordinates in which was in fact a luxurious building of a mansion of house in which pretty much only people of a $100,000 and above income can indulge within. Apparently the winged figure Starfire seen had entered into the building in seemingly friendly manner and she considered simply calling the area clear…at least until she heard the doors lock…and the screaming began. She immediately tried bursting into said doors to stop whatever was happening, only being met with a painful dosage of electric shock in which left her paralyzed for a brief bit, in which by the time she awoke the other Titans plus Kid Flash had arrived.
Now all seven Titans stood outside the beautifully crafted home with Owl shaped gargoyles hanging from its granite pillars with such prestige, as if the Owls themselves guard the very city they reside within. Come to think of it, a lot of today had seemed full of owls and other birds of prey being mentioned tonight. This type of coincidence reaches to Robin’s mind, in particular bringing to mind something from his childhood not only his ever favorite nickname ‘Little Robin’ but also of a certain lullaby he heard…
But these thoughts were brushed aside the second glass was broken inside the home, they needed to get in.
“Cyborg, blast open that door!”
With that, the locked marble doors were burst open with Cyborg’s trademark sonic canon and the Titans enter the home. Probably they should’ve brought barf bags inside given what they see next.
“P-p-ple—e-ease….h-h-help us” moaned the pale and weak female voice coming out of the mangled bodies filled with numerous cuts and slashes across their torsos, legs, with a bit of stab wounds going on both their genitals and their arms held with steel chains both surround and impaling the arms, holding the young couple to the wall with their blood leaking from all mentioned and then some. Frankly, even with Kid Flash and Robin immediately working to get them down, this gruesome sight makes even the toughest of soldiers most likely want to run away and cower into the corner. Believe it or not, it was only bound to grow worse from here, starting with a howling yet high pitched scream erupting from some other room of the mansion.
“We must search this place for that little girl IMMEDAITELY” roared Starfire as the screaming continued and did not let up in the slightest.
“Split up!” says Robin in an equal state of worry and panic for that little girl. Thus the searching begins.
Apparently the search across the house goes about as well as trying to urinate in a tiny glass cup while spinning around in a spinning top like manner, mainly it was near impossible. Each of the two preciously wasted minutes passed by with numerous rooms marked with a “Clear” from each of the Titans in their respective rooms. Even though Kid Flash provided a massive boot to progress, they still head that poor little girl’s screams echo through the mansion with no sign of her.
“Ok ok Ok! I’ll do what you want just please don’t hurt me!” the little girl screamed as the Talon throws her to the nearest wall after she was done shattering said girl’s fingers and toes.
“All need to do honey is say that you and your family will move out of this city and never come back.”
“Why would we do that? Why are you doing this?! You’re part of Daddy’s friends, they won’t do this!” wailed that girl through her sobs as she staggered to get away from this monster.
“It easy sweetie, because you wouldn’t leave anybody you didn’t like alone and only hurt other people for fun” The Talon coldly replied, “I’m simply here to put a stop to it.” She then grabs the girl by the collar of his PJs and lifts her into the air “I want you with your momma and daddy to know, no matter who comes in my way or the Titans all right behind our backs, you better start running, leave us alone and peaceful, or you’ll be expecting a visit from me.”
Talon stares fiercely then into the girl’s ever so scared eyes “Do I make myself CLEAR?”
“y-y-yes” sobbed the little girl.
“Good” replied the Talon. All the sudden however,
“Cyborg, blast it!” in that second a blue beam shot across the room with every Titan that had been searching the home from the better part of these few minutes entering in almost instantly. The horror in all of their eyes at the sight of this owl like creature holding a little girl mercilessly off the ground while said girl was full of tears and pain proves being an understatement. Also an understatement would be the anger that quickly consumed their horror as they draw out either their battles stances or weapons to combat this threat.
“Who…are you?!” asks Robin with a twinge of horror mixing with pure fiery rage at the psychopath who was harming this girl to no end. At least Slade target someone like Terra and him, individuals who can actually fight back against him and not target 6 year olds like her.
Talon simply remains silent in the presence of these teenagers, analyzing their technology, powers or talents they can posses against her. She had heard of their exploits amongst her missions here at Jump and their weaknesses which was how she was able to use two of her daggers with an electric charge to keep Starfire out the first time. While analyzing the group, Robin himself actually caught her attention the most. She knows that R on that red breasted vest anywhere.
“Mama, how come there’s an R on my shirt?”
“Easy Dick, it’s meant to be your full name Richard. And it’s also because you’re my Little Robin, flying through the air with little to care. Just like Mama and Daddy do.”
Now normally a brawl against all seven Titans will prove nearly futile right here given her situation and the simple matter of fact, Robin is at the same time her top priority target and the one person she NEVER wants to hurt.
“Answer me!” suddenly yelling Robin, tightening his grip on his bo-staff and snapping the Talon out of her thoughts.
With that Talon realizes, what’s use of hiding it? From what she can gather, Satan himself resurrected their arch nemesis in front of their eyes so maybe this won’t be too hard for them to get. With that, she silently throws that little girl into their direction, Kid Flash catching her in his arms, and without a single word, slowly begins to remove her mask.
As her features began to show, each of Titans found themselves widening their eyes once again as the noted not only the feminine curve of her lips but more prominently, the gray skin with covered her face right down to bone. Lightly blue glowing blood vessels also showed themselves, thus finally wrapping up where that black electrum had come from. The nail in the coffin though came with this woman letting loose a ponytail made with dark red hair, so dark one can easily mistake it for black from a distance. This beautiful woman would’ve been a general shock for every Titan there given her beauty. But the minute she opens her now golden tinted eyes and speaks, it went from just being a simple shock…
“Hi Richard, it’s nice to see you again.”
Robin nearly drops his staff at that statement, “m-m-Mama?”
“This woman…?” Starfire chirps out
“Is your mom?!” Kid Flash blurts
Raven’s hands began to glow with pure dark magic “Do you honestly think we’ll believe that statement?”
Beast Boy’s own hands began to morph into claws and he began snarling “Lady please tell us your talking out of your butt.”
Cyborg, however, scanning the electrum in her body and comparing to that one sample, nods “She isn’t lying y’all it’s really her. Her DNA matches the sample and since that DNA’s supposed to be dead…she’s really Robin’s long lost mother.”
Robin couldn’t help but gulp his throat as he processed all this information, “you’re really back?’
Mary nods slightly, with a rather…calm and affectionate smile on her face “In a manner of speaking, yes I’m really alive again Little Robin. Now before you ask there’s a lot more at stake here that you don’t realize is real and I don’t your friends getting hurt by it.” Her face then loses its smile, now somewhat resembling her “listen to me son” look “whatever happens from here on out, you will not get yourself caught in it, Mama’s just simply doing her work to make sure every one of you is safe and sound.”
Robin couldn’t help himself from gritting his teeth towards that last statement, especially given the sobbing girl in Kid Flash’s arms, “What do you mean? Why do…This? Who should be your problems and not ours mom?! Especially something SO BAD, it makes you into…THIS?!?”
Mary Elizabeth Lloyd Grayson, the Talon of Jump City, the Rebel, the Romani, simply picks up her mask from the ground and in her most somber tone the Titans there had heard, as her eyes now glowed, her voice, now slightly made almost ghostly yet very firm, began to speak:
“Beware the Court of Owls,
That watches all the Time,”
“Ruling their nest from a shadowed perch,
Behind granite and lime,” Robin continues as he drops his staff in absolute terror. He knew that poem, that lullaby he heard as child.
“They watch you in your hearth,”
“They watch you in your bed,”
“Speak not…”
“…a whispered word about them.
They both say at the same time, “Or they’ll send a Talon for your head.”
With that, major puff of smoke erupts out of the blue, reeling back all the Titans and blinding them. By the time said smoke cleared, she was gone, leaving only a golden bracelet behind. Robin picks it up with his eyes in a dazed state; this was the bird themed bracelet he gave to her on the last birthday he spent with her.
Epilogue: Titans Tower, three hours later, Robin’s Room
Richard John Grayson Llodveski couldn’t help but sit on his bed in his sweat pants and loose t shirts cross legged as his bare feet began to feel dumb, making him curl his toes to keep on the blood flow. But his feet meant little to what was on his hands, his mother’s bracelet.
It was all there and yet he didn’t know until now. The files from Haley Circus were cracked open and the words in them couldn’t deny facts: the first ever home he had was in fact a training ground for living undead killing machines that harm all sort of people, criminals or not, for the urban legend that is the Court of owls, an urban legend meant to scare children into listening to their parents before bedtime. Now, his mother, the woman whose ‘accident’ had been the bear root of Robin himself, was a killer. More than that, she had been killing since he began as Robin, since he was that inexperienced but ever so quipping eight year old boy in a bright yellow cape and green pixie boots running across the rooftops of Gotham. While he made his new life from the circus saving lives, the woman he loves from birth until rebirth was taking them.
This truth cannot be any more devastating than some saying Hitler himself had came back to life was voted President of the USA. But then comes the fact…it his mother…
Tears started to build in his eyes, so Richard puts the bracelet back on his dresser before promptly grabbing his stuffed elephant Peanut and smacking his face in his pillows, muttering in his native Romani
“This is just (sob) wrong.”
Little did Robin know he wasn’t the only one left a sobbing wreck from tonight…
Meanwhile, at an unknown place in Jump’s waterfront district…
The now lone Mary Grayson, sitting on her own custom bed with her armor off, leaving only a bra, sweatpants and bare feet on the cushions, was glaring angrily and mournfully at her owl mask, the mask she had worn since her resurrection, the mask that had frightening so many innocent children both with and without her control…even her child was afraid now..
Mary throws the mask towards the wall and buries her face in her own pillows, muttering in her own native Romani
“This is just (sob) wrong.”
#mary grayson#court of owls#tt animated#dick grayson#koriand'r#wally west#my posts#fanfic#side note#I missed counted the Titans as seven instead of six#whoops
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Celebrity au
I don’t own OUAT. I kind of skipped the first day of SQ week- I had test week, oops- so I decided to write this now.
Features: Regina who is a closet dork and Emma Swan fan, Henry who still steals credit cards and runs away (to the celebrity he has decided can help) and Ruby, who feels blessed when she learns Mayor-scary-Mills is a Star Wars loving dork.
Dear miss Swan ( my mom told me to call you that. Can I say Emma? Miss Swan is weird)
My name is Henry. I am almost eleven. I really like pizza and hot chocolate and watching star wars marathons with my mom( even if I sometimes suspect her favourite is Darth vader , and he is the villain).
Anyways, I don’t think my mom is good at liking people. She is the mayor, so she is sort of good at charming them? I think. Maybe it is just because she is scary. She is really good at glaring at townspeople that infuriate her. But I am writing this, because I hoped you could stop by. You sometimes do that, right- I read an article a while back about you secretly visiting that orphanage after they wrote to you. After I had wrestled it from mom’s hand. And I know you probably did it because the people at the orphanage do not have a family; they needed you. But I need you too, because my mom isn’t happy. She pretends to, but she really isn’t. And it all sucks. I think it would suck less if you just visit. Reading about you always makes mom smile and I know it would mean the world to both of us if you showed up.
Henry Mills
He has not actually told his mom what he has put in the letter. He has discussed writing it with her and they had sat at the couch, laughing as they came up with things to put in there. He had wanted to tell Emma a lot about how mom likes star wars so much that she dressed as Leia once and how she is weirdly great at going voices and how she has read even more comics than he has -but mom reached for his hand and sounded kind of panicked when she said “no!”. Her “ this is your letter, sweetheart. You do not have to make it all about me” had sounded like a partial lie.
Because yes, he was slowly starting to relearn that his mom would, in fact, do anything from threatening to destroy his teacher to frightening a bully’s parents to the point where he was forced to tearfully apologize, but there was also more going on than her just being overprotective.
Anyways, he had agreed to leave out the anecdotes about mom after a passionate discussion that ended with mom winning- he still maintains it is kind of cheating, considering it is her job to convince people she is right- and pretended to not have an ulterior motive at all. He would feel guilty – yeah, okay he still does a little – for omitting Important information but really, he figures he is allowed to after she did so for his entire life. So that is how he started writing the letter- his bin is now filled with proof letters because his mom is a perfectionist and he might have inherited that- and after his mom and he had spent a fun evening working on it, he had gone to Ruby for the bits that his mom couldn’t know about until stage six.
He reads it again, glances at Ruby. “What do you think? “ he asks, then frowns. He hesitantly grabs her arm and shakes her. “Ruby? Are you- are you okay? “.
“The mayor is a star wars fan?”.
“ Well duh. She sometimes throws star wars quotes in the conversation” he rolls his eyes. “ She uses ‘the idiocy is strong with this one” a lot”
When Ruby continues to stare at him like she has just wound up in an alternate universe, he adds “ it is a variation on ‘the force is strong in this one’. Get it? She always uses it after someone has been particularly inept”.
“Wait” Ruby slowly seems to recover, which is good because he actually needs her to function properly for operation Cobra “ was she actually quoting darth vader when she told me that she ‘found my lack of professionalism disturbing’ ?”.
“ Probably” he smiles happily. “ So you have seen it too?”
“ I used to have a girlfriend who really liked it” Ruby shakes her head. Henry kind of wants to ask her whether she is ill : she has a really weird expression right now. “ Oh my god. Your mother is a dork , isn’t she?”
“ We do not use that word” he tells her, frowning.
“ Oh my god, what else is she a nerd about it?”.
“ Does it matt-“.
“Yes” Ruby leans forward. “ Your mother’s uptightness and general haughtiness as well as the way she looks in her I-have-authority outfits means no one would know she is secretly a giant dork. Do you have any idea how great it is to discover all that coolness is just a façade?”.
“ Do not call my mom uptight! Or haughty. And what does the last thing even mean?”.
“I am not going to explain or your mother would send like daleks after me”.
“ The daleks are not assassins. And they would immediately attempt to kill mom if they saw her. They- “.
“So you have watched Doctor Who together. What else?”.
He sighs. “ Ruby, I do not have a lot of time for this. Can we focus on what is import-“.
“But I need to know more! Like, does she have a wand or a lightsabre? Do you guys duel”
“Sometimes. Mom is weirdly good at it and super competitive. Now , can we go back to the operation?”.
Ruby sighs. “ Fine. But I want the scoop later”.
“ I am not going to rat on my mom”.
She smiles and wiggles her fingers. “Not even for a hot chocolate with cinnamon?”.
“ Really? That is all you got? “.
“ The new captain America”.
“ Nope”.
“ The- “.
“ Ruby, I am not a traitor, okay? So really, you could offer me the Arkenstone and it wouldn’t be enough”.
“ Well, yeah because you would probably want something like .. like.. something with books. Words”.
“ The library of Alexandria?” Henry offers, because that would definitely be something he is willing to do a lot for. Not ratting out his mom though.
“ You truly are your mother’s child, dork. “.
“ I just really appreciate the fact that some people invented the basics of our entire civilization and I think it is awful that important knowledge – including stuff like Greek fire which would have been so epic- is lost. But is the letter okay?”.
Ruby takes the letter from him and reads it one last time. She smiles at him. “ Yeah. I think it is pretty great”.
His mother’s fears almost come true as he barrelled down the stairs and only just caught himself as he tripped over the shoe he had left there earlier. Ignoring his pounding heart and the slight ache from where he had slammed his hand in the baluster, he jumped the last few chairs and ripped open the door.
He nearly tore the letter as well as he opened the envelope, glancing at the kitchen. His mom still did not know exactly what he been telling Emma in those letters. He hesitated for a moment, please don’t disappoint this time, and finally started reading the letter.
It held another gift, a new one. But the signature was the same and the words were pretty general as well. Thank you so much for your kind letter, I wish you the best. He crumpled it and threw it at the floor, crushing it beneath his foot. His socks did not do much to the paper. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, then glanced at the kitchen again. He could hear a pan clatter, presumably falling to the floor.
She has been weird today. He can see she tries very hard to listen to his chatter and that she wants to hear about it, but she keeps losing attention. He used to get so mad whenever he had to repeat things on days like this, used to think his mother was just thinking about work – like that was more important than him. Used to hurt himself thinking that she didn’t care as much, because he wasn’t her real son. Now, he thinks it is something else entirely. He just doesn’t know what is going on, just feels like there is something wrong and she needs help that she will stubbornly refuse forever.
I know it is not really obvious, but I know something is going on. That she isn’t ha- I am not giving up on you, mom. I will help you.
It is that stubborn, consuming thought of need to help her need her to be okay something is wrong I can’t hurt her again that finally makes him silence what he thinks of as the Jiminy cricket in his mind, and just execute the rather ingenious – if illegal and kind of horrible- plan. It really is his mother’s wellbeing and not just his slight worship of the famous Emma Swan that brings him to stea borrow- he is totally going to find a way to repay her- credit card and get to Boston where he knows she is staying for the moment. The fan site gives the address of a hotel as her stay, but Henry knows better
It is just a decoy. She might have been there for the evening, but she is definitely not staying the night. He is lucky that knows someone who knows Emma’s bodyguard or he would have probably never found her. Now, he is standing in front of that bodyguard with his most charming, dimpled smile- the one that even destroys his mom’s iron resistance.
“ Where are your parents?”.
“ Mom. She couldn’t come. She is very busy” he says, pretending to be sad for a moment before giving the guard a small grin and waving the items in his face. “ She gave me some things to have signed for her though “ it is one of his mom’s favourite pictures of Emma. She is kind of sweaty and gross, but there is a shy, radiant smile as she holds up the trophy. It is the shawl he nearly always wears. It is the crudely sculpted cup he made for her ages ago.
The guard hesitates, then nods. As soon as he is turned, Henry allows himself to exhale shakily and show the fear and doubt on his face for a moment. He is grinning again by the time the guard knocks on the door and it opens.
Emma Swan leans against the door, in her usual red jacket and with a tank top and dark jeans. She looks at him, then at the guard. “ Thanks Alec. Have a good nightshift”.
The guard nods. “ Thank you miss Swan”
Emma grimaces. “ I told you, don’t call me that. It is weird”.
“That is exactly what I told my mom” Henry pipes in, grinning.
Emma chuckles. “Well, that’s smart “ she steps aside. “ Come in – Henry, was it?”
“ Yeah” he turns towards the guard. “Thank you Alec!” the dude grins and offers him a fist. “Take care, little man” and Henry pumps it before darting inside. He immediately asks the question that has been on his mind ever since he heard that the operation was a go.
“ Not that I don’t think it’s super cool, but do you always listen when your guards ask you to accept fans to visit?”.
Emma chuckles. “ Actually, that was Ruby”.
“ Ruby? But she said- “ he frowns. “ She said that Alec was an old friend that could get you to agree to a meeting”.
Emma leans against the fridge, smirks a little. “ Well, it is completely possible that Alec has fallen for Ruby’s unique charm , but it was me she actually asked”.
He clenches his fist a little. Liars, everywhere. “ But why did she lie?”.
Emma shrugs. She looks slightly awkward. “To protect me, possibly. She was my girlfriend and I am a private person. She might have thought you would accidentally out me”.
“ Wow. She was your girlfriend?” Emma rubs her neck. “Well, yeah sort of? But I am not going to fully explain, because your mom will possibly kill me if I accidentally give you like The Talk”.
Henry is too stuck on ‘girlfriend’ to really listen to the rest of what Emma is saying. “ That is so cool!” . He giggles. “if mom knew, she would probably never smile at Ruby again”.
“ Uh why is that, kid?”.
He grins. “ She would be super jealous”.
Emma relaxes and laughs. “ Would she?”.
He nods. “Totally” he lowers his voice. “ I am not supposed to tell you, but she is weird about you. This one time, mom was on the phone and I was watching you on ninja warrior and she walked into the couch’.
“ Well, I am glad I made an impression”.
He nods sagely. “ You did” he skips towards the fridge. “ Do you have juice?”.
“ Sure. Just- “
He takes the package from the fridge, tries to reach the cupboard. He hears her chuckle. “ You can drink from the carton”.
He stares at it. “ Are you sure? It seems kind of unhygienic”.
“ Yeah. It is nearly empty anyways”.
He shrugs and greedily finishes the carton before wiping his mouth and grinning. He offers her the items, she looks around with narrowed eyes before she looks at him.
“ Do you maybe have a –“.
He hands her the fountain pen. It is the special one, the one mom gave him when everything still sucked and she finally broke and tried to get him to smile at her again by giving him an amazingly beautiful leather notebook and a matching pen. Emma doesn’t all of that though, which is probably why she teases him a little.
He merely shrugs and semi-casually says “ My mom gave it to me. She is supportive of one of my dreams”.
“ One of them?”.
“ I have several. One of them is to become a writer”.
Emma nods as she scribbles on the items. “ What kind of books are you going to write?”.
“I am not sure yet. I have several ideas though, am already working on characters”.
She smiles and he knows that she is not just pretending to be nice, that is not the rare person that has the guts to try to get close to his mom and thinks he is the way to do it, nor any of the townspeople who patronize him and privately think his ambitions will change. “ Well, give me a call or something when you get published, okay?” his jaw hurts from grinning and he nods.
He accepts the items, clutching them in his hands. He is slightly terrified, but he steels himself and his voice barely trembles. “ Yeah. Ehm Emma?”.
“ Yes?”.
“ Thank you so much for this” he shows her the items. Do not forget to be polite, Corazon he hears his mom’s voice say. I am going to make sure you’re okay, I am going to apologize that way he thinks back. “ There is just- I really need your help”.
Emma looks confused. “ with what?”.
He swallows. “ D-do you remember my letters?”.
She crosses her arms, drags her foot over the floor. “ No, so- I don’t always read every single one. I try- but I am – “ she falters, throwing him a sad look. He immediately forgives her, partly because he understands.
“ that’s okay. Anyways, my letters- my mom is not okay. And I- “ he swallows. “I really need your help”.
“ I don’t- kid, I am a total stranger”.
“ I know”.
“ Your mother might occasionally watch me on TV , but she doesn’t really know me- “
“ I know”
“ and doesn’t she have like friends or I don’t know, like a – “.
“ she doesn’t want to admit something is wrong” Emma pales and freezes for a moment, then hesitantly approaches and kneels, at the sight of the tears that embarrass him slightly. “ Hey, kid- “.
“She is hiding it. But- I know. I can feel it. And – she sometimes has these weird mood swings. Not around me- she always orders Kathryn to pick me up and says it is just because she has a meeting- but with the people from the court sometimes, or Rubes. And she sometimes locks herself into her office- for work, she says. But there is not even paperwork around her then! And- “ her chokes a little. “ Please. “.
Emma hesitates for a moment, then nods. “ Okay. I will check it out”.
Henry regains some of his usual cheeriness during the ride home. It is easier to believe everything will be fine when he has the bravest- apart from his mom- and strongest woman in the car next to him. He presses the signed picture, shawl and mug against him and grins. It is going to be okay.
It is not.
His mom’s voice breaks as she runs towards him, tugging him into his arms and holding him there for several moments. He can feel her tremble slightly. “ Henry- where were you? “.
He smiles at her. It hurts, you have hurt her. Again, but he is going to make her smile in the next second so he can weather it. He points at Emma. He thinks of people in films dying in slow motion. Her eyes widen, slowly. Her breath catches, suddenly. She swallows.
“ Miss Swan?” her voice is higher than usual.
Emma smiles and exhales a shy “Hi “.
His mom gapes at her. “ Why- how” she glances at Henry. “ Henry?” .
“ I found her, for you “ he smiles at her. “She is going to make it all better”.
He thinks back to these awful pre-discovery months, and the hurt she must have hidden behind anger. “ There is no need. Everything is fi- “.
“ No it isn’t! And you should stop pretending it is” his voice cracks, he blinks furiously.
He grabs her hand. “ Mom” he wants to say “I am sorry” and scream at her for not trusting him at the same time. He wants to ask what is going on, while at the same time he is terrified of discovering what exactly is hurting her. He wants things to seem simple again, but he knows he can’t.
She kneels next to him, starts to reach for him. She gives him plenty of time to shrug away, to push her away like had been a carefully practised motion for months. Instead, he sinks into the hug and sobs once. “ I just want you to be happy” he says.
“ Oh Henry- I am. How could I not, with a son like you? “she whispers. She may be crying. She pulls back after a minute, touches his chin briefly before straightening. Her hand rests on his shoulder and he leans against her as she talks to Emma.
“ Miss-“.
“ Emma” he can hear her clear her throat. Is he imagining the slight tremble? “ Please call me Emma”.
“ Very well. Emma- can I offer you a glass of the best apple cider you have ever tasted?”.
He opens his eyes just in time to see his mom nervously brush her hair behind her ear and Emma blush as she smiles. “That would be- “ she glances at him. “ I would ask for something stronger, but the kid is there”.
His mom arches her brow. She almost doesn’t seem nervous anymore ( she totally is though). “ That is- probably wise”.
“ Yeah “ his mom stares at the flush on Emma’s cheek. Emma stares back at mom’s mouth – she is probably waiting for her to stop staring and start speaking again like he is. Finally, he decides they’re both hopeless and he really wants to stop freezing outside.
“ So….” He grins at the both of them. “ Hot chocolate?”.
He does not get hot chocolate. He gets an admonishment, several weeks without comments and a ‘go to bed, immediately young man”. He pouts and gives his best puppy dog eyes but his mom is unrelenting this night. She mellows a little (though she mostly tries to pretend like she doesn’t want to keep them) as he gives her the signed items. But not enough to even consider letting him stay up.
Then he trudges up the stairs, his attempt at listening to their conversation also thwarted and falls asleep before his mom leaves the room.
There are two things that Emma Swan thinks upon meeting Regina Mills. One: holy actual shit, wow. And two: Bad Idea. Yup, capitalized and everything. She is trying to focus more on two than one (but failing a little as she thinks such pretty eyes. That dress looks amazing on her. How would it look off her? – yeah okay, maybe failing a lot) as she sits on the couch.
She forces herself to focus on two by reciting all the reasons this woman is a Bad Idea. One; she has a kid. He seems pretty awesome- she is aware she should not be mostly impressed and slightly amused by the whole stealing-my teacher’s-credit card-and-dragging-the-famous-lady-home thing but she kind of is. Perhaps it is the memory of the horrible teachers that Emma has had that make it more amusing and impressive than anything else. But despite that- Emma is still not exactly the kind of person that would raise a kid.
Not to mention, is she the kind of person that would be allowed to raise a kid by his overprotective mom? (henry talked a lot about his mom in the car).
And there other reasons. Reasons like how this woman probably has big issues and Emma is a mess that she cannot fix, so how is she supposed to help anyone else ? Reasons such as how she wants to run at the sign of feelings, or how Regina seems to be the kind of person that is very sophisticated and very intelligent and Emma is still absurdly proud of participating in the world series of beer pong. Classy ladies like Regina Mills would never like the kind of girl that tries to force an entire pizza in her mouth when someone dares her to. Right?
Also, does she even like girls? Henry sort of implied, but-
Oh fuck. Emma’s stomach actually jolts as their fingers brush, and she almost yanks her hand away. Regina seems cool as a cucumber- except Emma quickly realizes she is not. She presses a hand to her stomach, like she has the same annoying sensation Emma does.
“ Your son is very- “.
“ Disobedient?” Regina says, sighing as she settles down on the couch.
“ I was going to say inventive, probably”.
She chuckles. “ Well, he is that too”.
“ So uh- “ she searches for something to say that will not be hugely embarrassing for her. “what do you do? For a living”.
“I am mayor”.
“ That… explains the house and clothing”.
“Yes” they sip their drinks in slightly awkward silence. Emma studies the woman, noticing she is still tense – although that could also be her modus operandi. Emma definitely wouldn’t be surprised.
“Thank you for bringing my son home”.
“ Uh no problem. Anyone would’ve done it” she grins. “Besides, he is pretty convincing”.
“ That he is” the gentle look that she gives Emma makes her nearly shatter the glass in her hand. “ Thank you”.
“ You just said that”.
She chuckles awkwardly. “ I am aware. I was just- “ she seems to not really notice Emma for a moment, staring at the wall. “ I thought he would not return this time”.
“ Ah. Kid – uh has he done a lot of running?” it is none of her business. And usual, she would do pretty much do anything to avoid emotional landmines like this, but there is something about the woman next to her that makes it almost easy to stay.
“ He discovered he was adopted and – “ Emma puts down the glass and nearly reaches for the woman’s hand. She seems –
“ Suffice to say, he did not take it well. He ran away several times and – you never get accustomed to that. You keep being terrified”. She shakes herself , puts on a smile. Emma is both thrown off and kind of impressed how that smile almost seems genuine.
“ Well, but that is in the past. Miss Swan, do you- “.
“ Emma. And the kid- he is worried about you” she says it very carefully. Regina stiffens nonetheless. She is closing more and more with the second, her jaw tightening and her eyes losing all warmth- Emma only notices she has grasped the woman’s bicep when Regina gasps and stares down at the fingers curled loosely around her bicep.
Emma slowly lets go. “ I am not- it is none of my business. It really isn’t. And you can always tell me to fuck off. But I also think the kid might be right that something is going on”.
“ And why, pray tell, would you assume something like that?”
“ You have bags beneath your eyes. The kid only ran away today, so that cannot be causing it. You seem to have lost weight- from worry, perhaps. But I am not sold. And you startled pretty terribly when I walked towards you”.
“ You were suddenly behind me”.
“ Yeah. You know- “ Emma hesitates only a second, not comfortable sharing things about herself and not liking having to think back to the moment it happened. But Regina is quickly starting to look angry and for some reason, she really wants to avoid that. “ I am an orphan. The longest time I had a family was three years. They sent me back when they got their own child”
She automatically grits her teeth, feeling that anger , that sense of ‘it is not fair’ which means she represses all of this shit until- her muscles lose their tension slowly, she stares at the hand on her knee before swallowing and continuing.
“ I saw a lot of shitty homes. I saw kids being beaten and neglected and all that mess. When I got out- I kept contact with some of them. I wanted to forget all of that, but some- I had actually made some friends”
she looks at Regina again. “There was this one girl, Lily. She didn’t tell me everything. But I have heard and seen enough to know there was a lot of trauma. And – she used to flinch whenever there was a loud sound, or someone was suddenly behind her or someone came too close. And she had these insane mood swings. You could be laughing with her one moment and the next she would suddenly threaten to punch someone for bumping into her, you know?”
‘ What is your point?”.
“ I don’t know your life. I don’t know you. But I can recognize trauma anywhere”.
Regina stiffens. “ I am not going to make choices for you, or try to get you to talk to someone about it. Don’t worry, I am not much a talker myself. But- ‘ she very carefully lays her hand atop Regina’s . “if you ever need me to distract you again by finishing an insane obstacle course- “ seriously Swan? She winks. “ Just call me. I would love to”.
Regina chuckles, then sighs. “ Henry told you, did he not?”.
“ Uh-huh. So what had you so distracted then?” she asks, semi-innocently.
Regina presses her lips together, then throws her glass back. She grabs the bottle that she had placed on the table and fills the glass again.
“ No, seriously” Emma says, offering Regina her own glass when she arches her brow and glances at the bottle. It is probably a horrible idea to keep drinking and sit with this gorgeous, likely traumatized (straight?) woman but Emma is still the queen of bad ideas. Sometimes.
“You have no proof” Regina says, smirking a little.
“ I have a witness!”.
“ But is he reliable?”.
“ Are you calling your own son unreliable?”.
“ No, I am merely stating that he may have exaggerated. What exactly did he tell you?”.
“ That you were so distracted by my abs that you forgot how to walk” it is paraphrasing.
“ That is not what happened, at all”.
“ Well, what happened madam mayor”. She could swear Regina looks a little excited at her challenging tone.
“ I have a right to remain silent”.
“ That just makes it all very suspicious though “.
“ Hardly”.
Emma glances at her glass with confusion; when had she emptied it? She shrugs and lets Regina fill it again. The jolt is stronger this time, and she hears Regina’s breath stutter. “ So tell me”.
“ Are you going to continue needling me?”.
‘ Yes. Until you give in and tell me”.
Emma nearly spills cider on herself as Regina smirks at her. She nearly drains the glass in her, which is like the worst decision ever for Regina chooses that moment to lean in, squeeze her knee and say “ I have great stamina”.
Emma only barely keeps from choking or spitting cider all over the expensive couch.
“ That’s – is this that competitive shit Henry talked about or are you just- “ .
Emma feels vaguely insulted at the eye roll and muttered “idiot” before she is unable to feel anything but a feeling like ‘hell fucking hell yes” as Regina leans in again and it is pretty obvious what is going to happen. Except she gets impatient so she blindly puts the drink down and pulls Regina’s lips to her own. She feels her affronted gasp, but ignores it to kiss her. And kiss her. And kiss her some more.
Unfortunately, Emma still has to breathe so she is forced to pull back when she is actually starting to see black spots. She licks her lips, that taste of cider and lipstick and something that is just Regina. She starts to lean in again, grinning as she hears Regina’s very irregular breathing. Inches from her lips, she stops. “ Tell me?”.
“ I will destroy you- “ the woman beneath her starts to growl and Emma cannot even be sure whether the shivers are fear or pleasure because wow that is kind of terrifying, but also hot when there are hands grabbing her tank top and roughly pulling her head down. She quickly forgets all about things like words as lips start to move against hers.
She kind of gets her answer anyways, because Regina keeps touching her arms and mutters ‘beautiful’ as she glances at them during the spare moments they remember breathing. Emma just smiles smugly and dives in again, ignoring the fact that she has her own weakness- which is mostly the sounds Regina makes and how wonderful she feels, but also that lip scar that she keeps tracing.
She wordlessly rolls off Regina as she feels the gentle pressure against her chest, studies the woman as they lay side-to side and with their legs entwined because of the little space the couch has. Regina had been bold and controlled, but now she almost seems shy. And flustered because of more than what has Emma’s throat really dry.
“ Are you okay?”.
“ Ye-“ Regina clears her throat. “ Yes. I am fine. I just-“ she smiles, kisses Emma one last time. “ I just cannot believe this is happening”.
“ Uh same here. You are – “ Emma just shakes her head. “ Wow”.
Regina looks both pleased and like she doesn’t fully believe it. “ You are beloved by millions, Emma, so I am sure I am the one that is supposed to say that”.
“ You know, that is not as impressive as it seems. Have you ever seen people react to cat videos? I am nothing compared to the cat videos, Regina”.
She grins when Regina chuckles. “I still maintain that you are quite ‘wow’, Emma Swan”.
“ And I maintain my earlier thought of ‘holy fucking shit, wow “.
Regina groans a little. “ That is just-“.
“ well-put?”.
“ No, it has too many swear words”.
“ Two! It has two swear words”.
“Out of four. That is 50% “.
“ Picky”.
“ Shut up” Regina mutters, her eyes drifting close.
“ Regina “
“ Hm?”.
“ Should I not bring you to bed?”
“How presumptuous of you. I am not a groupie, miss Swan”.
“ Yeah, I totally did not mean it like that. But should you not have a bed so you can actually have a good night rest?”
She feels Regina’s smile as she is kissed again. “ Goodnight, Emma”.
“ Oh okay. Good night”.
Usually, Emma would sprint towards her car after emotions like this. But with Regina’s arms around her and her slowly evening breath and her soft murmers, running is the last thing on her mind.
#swan queen#emma regina#celebrity au#Regina is a dork and a bit of a fangirl#Emma is the very muscular famous person#Henry is the kid that schemes and loves his mom#Ruby .. is just stunned that Mayor Mills is a dork
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from Comments on: 25 Years Ago: The CG Secrets of the Ballroom Sequence in ‘Beauty and the Beast’.
Cartoon Brew: How did you come to work on the ballroom sequence for Beauty and the Beast?Jim Hillin: I had just finished work on Jetsons: The Movie for Hanna-Barbera around 1988. Beauty and the Beast producer Don Hahn got a hold of my name and had his office call me up, and asked if we could have a phone conversation. Well, we tried to have that while I was on a plane to Boston, but we couldn’t hear each other over the sound of the engines. But when I got back to L.A. I went over to Disney and had an interview.I think the thing that really clinched it for them was—and it was a criticism I’ve heard of cg departments everywhere—they said, ‘Our problem is that whenever we send things over to the cg folks, they say they can do anything and they take on the job and they return something, but we never really understand when it’s coming back.’ I basically said, ‘So, what you’re telling me is that the group that you have doesn’t quite understand what they’re capable of?’ I knew that this was going to be about scheduling time and tasks and I thought I could handle all that because I’d been doing it for a while.So what was the problem that needed to be solved for the ballroom sequence, as presented to you?Jim Hillin: They said, ‘Well, we have this big ballroom sequence; we want to do the ballroom in cg.’ And I said, ‘Okay, so it’s basically just one room.’ They said, ‘Yeah, and we’re going to be moving a camera around inside of it.’ But then they said there was also this other sequence. They said, ‘We have this big fight scene at the end of the movie where the Beast is fighting the main villain on the roof,’ and they wanted me to do the rain and the roof for some dynamic shots there.Now, there had been another group, another producer and director, on the film already and we only had about nine months left by the time I was hired to finish the movie. So I said to them, ‘Well, I don’t know if I can guarantee two cg things. I can get one done – the ballroom – for sure, but as far as getting the second one done I’m not sure.’ You also have to keep in mind I didn’t have a huge kind of budget. I think the whole budget for the original film was something like $20 million or thereabouts.It was still pretty early on in computer graphics in films, so did you know this was something that could be solved?Jim Hillin: We had five people doing computer graphics at the time, and really back then – 25 years ago – the computers we were using were probably about a tenth of what your phone can do nowadays. The other thing was the software. Disney had only been using it to print out wireframes and not really render anything. They had never done 3d rendering. So we had to set up a whole software pipeline for getting this done.Plus, Disney had never really done a moving background in any of their films. I went to this warehouse called the ‘Morgue’ where they keep everything Disney has ever made. And they have these people who are like librarians there. And I said to them, ‘I’d like to see any film with any moving backgrounds that Disney has ever made.’ And the only thing they had was the multi-plane stuff that had been done for Bambi, and some multi-plane work that had been done for Sleeping Beauty for the introductory sequences.So I had to think, how do we make this ballroom scene look like something Disney would make? I went to the head of the background department and I said, ‘If you were going to paint the ballroom what would it look like?’ And it took him about two weeks and he painted this big painting of what the ballroom would look like inside. And of course he calls me at one point and goes, ‘Do I really have to paint all these windows in the back?’ And I said, ‘No, this is fine, this is fine.’What was that painting for?Jim Hillin: We then had something to copy. So, as long as we could make our ballroom in cg look like their ballroom in a still frame, then the next thing was we just had to move the camera and we were off to the races.What were some of the techniques or tools that were being used to actually produce the cg model of the ballroom?Jim Hillin: Well, it’s not that different from today, frankly. Renderman had been around—it was created by Pixar before Pixar made any full-length movies. And it made nice and pretty images. I’d been using that already since 1988, and I said, ‘Well, we’re going to use that because it’s about as tried-and-true as you can get in a renderer,’ because a lot of people have been banging on it, and making it work. Then, the top-of-the-line modeler at the time was made by Alias out of Canada. Alias has now become Maya and is owned by Autodesk. The nice thing was the industry was growing up a little bit. It was a time when they were finally beginning to be standards for how to do this stuff—how to put together a scene, how to create a material that responded the same way every time, all that kind of important stuff.What was the workflow here—the main characters were still traditionally animated weren’t they?Jim Hillin: Yes, because of the time constraints, we had to do the sequence in parallel with the traditional animators [James Baxter hand-animated Belle and the Beast]. What we did was use a special plotter where we printed out the wireframes. Then we gave the animators registration marks and a bunch of other things so they could physically line up their work and start animating.At one point, I talked to Glen Keane [the supervising animator for the Beast] and I said, ‘This is what I’m thinking about doing,’ and I brought him an example of a printed out frame of the background they were going to be dancing in. And I gave him an overlay of the floor and an overlay of a grid that fit on the floor, which was three feet by three feet. The idea was that it represented every three feet on the floor and would give them an idea of how to animate: how far to move their feet if they were animating a waltz, for instance. When he saw the grid he went, ‘Oh this is perfect. I don’t need anything else.’Was there ever, to your knowledge, a conversation about animating any of the characters in cg?Jim Hillin: No, I don’t know if that was ever brought up. I think as close as we ever got were some of the carts in the film and the wheels turning because they were racing by and changing perspective and nobody wanted to [animate] them. We did have to make some approximations of Belle and the Beast for the ballroom sequence, just to show Jeffrey Katzenberg that it was going to work. We made these crude geometric representations of them to show where they would be in the shots. And then we cut that all together with music and showed it to Jeffrey, and he goes, ‘Yeah, this will work.’How did this all fit in with the digital ink and paint system, CAPS, that Disney had been using?Jim Hillin: Well, interestingly, CAPS certainly was largely a digital ink and paint system, but a big part of it was also keeping track of everything. A huge piece of this system was the database. It kept track of everything, every change, every piece of paper, every note – everything. So the amazing thing about that was it was just this giant database handler.As far as integrating the 3D stuff into CAPS, we created a background of a certain pixel dimension size. And then we just delivered the final imagery of the background into CAPS. If you want to think of it as ‘uploading,’ we were just uploading the images one at a time into positions on an exposure sheet inside of CAPS.All of the pieces – the characters, props, and the backgrounds were separately scanned and painted in the system inside of CAPS and then they were composited together like layers in CAPS. Exactly the way you would do it if you were putting it on acetate.What do you remember about the reception that this sequence had when the film opened?Jim Hillin: I remember that the producer Don Hahn had written me a nice note saying that it was the sequence of the film and that it was really amazing. And I thought, well, he’s just being nice. I didn’t pay much attention to it but when it came out the sequence was just all over the press. And I was like, wow, that’s cool. Of course, nowadays if I mention to someone that I was in charge of cg for Beauty and the Beast with the ballroom, there are people who stare at me and go, ‘You’re kidding!’ Even today it still garners quite a bit of attention.Jim Hillin has since worked at several vfx studios including Digital Domain, Sony Pictures Imageworks, and Entity FX. He worked again at Walt Disney Feature Animation for “Dinosaur” and at Warner Bros. Animation on “Looney Tunes: Back in Action.” He is also behind the comic strip “Wireheads.” Jim is currently a cg supervisor at Duncan Studio.
http://www.cartoonbrew.com/feature-film/25-years-ago-cg-secrets-ballroom-sequence-beauty-beast-145174.html
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The Deadly Desert - Interview Transcript, December 2016
The following is an interview transcript with Chris Stern of The Deadly Desert and The Sterns for an upcoming feature in Providence Monthly. He said some great stuff in great length and I wanted to let his full words and thoughts be heard. Enjoy.
The Deadly Desert
Providence Monthly: There's so much going on with your new album in terms of instrumentation, percussion and vocal arrangements, what was your writing process like? How do you compose your music?
Chris Stern: Songs, for me, always start with a melody or a lyric. Some people write at the piano or with their guitar and actively ‘work’ at a tune by fiddling with chords until something happens. I get easily frustrated if I sit down to write and I can’t connect all the dots right away. Great songs sound effortless, so if you’re pulling your hair out to write something magical, the effort shows and the song suffers. The best tunes come when you’re not expecting them, so melodies and lyrics arrive throughout the day. I might start humming something in the car. If I’m still humming it the next day, I know it’s a tune worth working on. If a melody or a lyric is really special, I’ll rush to the piano to start mapping it out immediately.
Home recording is where the bulk of ‘composing’ happens. Once I have a melody and a few chords, I’ll record a demo with just acoustic guitar and vocal to the 8-track. I might do 3 takes or a dozen, and every take, I’m changing the chords, editing the lyrics and fixing the structure. Once there is a solid form, the fun part begins: I’ll add keyboard drums, vocal harmony stacks, lead guitars, piano or organ, maybe a bass line. While I’m building the arrangement I’m evaluating the song and editing, mostly just ditching stuff that doesn’t work. After maybe 10 hours recording and rerecording parts, I’ve seen what’s possible within the song and I can be confident it’s finished.
I am a sucker for big, bold arrangements. Give me horns and strings and back-up singers, 4 pianos, triple-tracked guitars and 3 tambourines and I’m happy. In The Sterns, I was notorious for over-arranging and over-producing. Our third album ‘Savage Noble Steals The Ancient Riffs,’ had a few songs in excess of 100 tracks in pro-tools, which can give you a certain sound, or it can be an awful mess, especially in the mixing process. Tambourine is my favorite instrument, so almost every song has that jangle. Most of the songs were written on piano instead of guitar so I challenged myself to play all the keyboards, which is a joke because I am a terrible keyboard player. I set out to make this album ‘stripped down’ and almost completely failed. ‘Sob Story’ has female vocals, a horn section, vibraphone, timpani and 3 pianos to give it the Phil Specter ‘Wall of Sound’ so ‘stripped down’ went out the window but it’s probably my favorite song on the album and the most fun to record, so go figure.
Chris Stern
PM: There's a big range of influences on your album as well, I hear some Bell & Sebastion, Weezer, some Brit-pop...who inspires you?
CS: I worship the crazy geniuses: the guys who literally drove themselves insane and ruined their lives in pursuit of music like Brian Wilson, Daniel Johnston, Andy Partridge, Sly Stone and Syd Barrett etc. There is something so romantic and relatable about that obsession. I am a disciple of The Beatles and The Beach Boys specifically because those guys wrote songs designed for the studio. All the innovation and all those classic albums happened because they were writing music that didn’t have to be performed in concert. 4 guys on stage can’t play ‘A Day in the Life’ and do it justice. Andy Partridge of XTC quit touring due to crippling stage fright while XTC was still up and coming. They never got the fame they deserved, but they wrote ‘Skylarking’ which is my all-time favorite album. So that ethos of limitless studio creativity and crafting albums that are lush and carefully orchestrated with a broad palette of sounds and colors is important.
Lyrics are so crucial and I think they’re overlooked by a lot of musicians. My favorite artists combine a beautiful melody with meaningful and resonant words. Most lyrics in pop music are garbage; I’ve always been a bit of a snob about this. Some of my favorite songs have dumb or dull or lazy lyrics. Maybe they are bubble gum or just undercooked, I can still love the song. But great lyrics make a song three-dimensional and it’s that intersection of compelling melody and meaningful words that birth real emotions. Some of favorite lyricists are Paul Simon (my musical hero), Ray Davies of The Kinks, Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello, Morrissey, Michael Stipe of REM, Jarvis Cocker of Pulp and Stuart Murdoch of Belle & Sebastian. Belle & Sebastian is my favorite current band, maybe my all time favorite band. Morrissey, in spite of his obvious faults, is unparalleled as a lyricist.
Films and books are a big inspiration. David Lynch, Woody Allen, Hal Hartley, Stephen King and Kurt Vonnegut spring to mind. 2 songs on this album even have lyrics ripped from television comedies, but I won’t divulge which songs or which shows. Many songs on this album were actually inspired by specific musicians and I name them in the songs: ‘The Best of The Dead Composer’/Morrissey, ‘Flames’/Daniel Johnston, ‘Stay Out of The Sunshine’/REM, ‘Are You Staying The Night?’/Bruce Springsteen. ‘The Assassination of Love’ is actually a murder ballad about me killing Mike Love of The Beach Boys. Mike Love is, honestly, the greatest villain in pop music history, if you’ve followed the saga between him and Brian Wilson that started in the 60’s. The song is upbeat and tongue-in-cheek, but I’m dead serious, Mike Love is the worst person. Total Trump voter. I’d love if he heard the song and hated it.
Jarod Cournoyer
PM: Tell me about The Sterns, I noticed some "Sterns" appear in the credits. You were featured on Rock Band? What have your other musical endeavors been?
CS: In high school, all I wanted to do was play jazz saxophone. In 1998 friends asked me to join a ska band called Shanty Sounds, which was my first introduction to the Providence Music scene. We played The Met, Lupo’s, The Living Room, The Ocean Mist etc. and did pretty well for a bunch of 16 and 17 year old white French kids from Woonsocket. Our finest hour was playing the final Providence Payback, which was a mini festival that The Amazing (Royal) Crowns hosted every year. I still think The Crowns are the best Providence band of the last 30 years. That show was a really big deal for me. After Shanty Sounds broke up, I saw Westbound Train at a Slackers show at The Wetlands in NYC and was blown away. They were based in Boston and when their sax player quit I was asked to audition. It’s hard to forget because I auditioned on September 12th 2001. They hired me and I spent over 2 years with Westbound Train. We toured with The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and I learned how to sing and front a band.
Westbound Train released an album and our guitarist was robbed of all his gear so Alex Stern was hired to replace him for a three week tour. We hit it off almost immediately. I had just started trying to write songs and Alex already had a full-length album with his ska band Mass.Hysteria and his songs were just brilliant. We were both obsessed with British pop. We wrote our first song together on that tour. Later that year, I joined Mass. Hysteria on sax so Alex and I were now in 2 touring bands together and we were basically joined at the hip. By the end of 2003 we had a bunch of songs we were really proud of. We formed The Sterns with Emeen Zarookian (Spirit Kid), Andrew Sadoway (Bent Shapes) and Michael Gagne. I took the stage name Stern because I wasn’t fond of my dull very French last name and Alex and I wanted to show Ramones-esque brotherly solidarity. (Adam please don’t use Brunelle. I am using Stern, you can say it’s a stage name but just don’t use Brunelle to avoid confusion )
We self-released our first album ‘Say Goodbye to the Camera’ in 2005 and shockingly, it cracked the CMJ top 100 albums chart which was sort of unheard of for an unsigned band. We started getting a lot of good press around Boston. Music writers liked the album. We weren’t going to succeed on our looks; we were a critics band. All my favorite bands were critics darlings, so we were in good company. The Boston Herald included the lead-off track from our album, ‘This Will Only Hurt for a Minute’, in a round robin reader’s choice of the top 100 Boston songs of ALL TIME! We had no business being in there, but amazingly, we made it through the first round but lost in the second round to ‘Hangin’ Tough’ by New Kids on the Block. I still think that is fucking hilarious.
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This Will Only Hurt For A Minute by The Sterns from the album, "Say Goodbye to the Camera"
We were courting some record labels when we started recording album 2. A local startup media company and label approached us while we were in the studio. They had a lot of money and they were going to focus on us and one other artist exclusively. We needed tour support and a van and we were swept off our feet really, but we signed our first record contract in the summer of 2006 and the label released our second album, ‘Sinner’s Stick Together’ in March of 2007. We were nominated for 2 Boston Music Awards (we didn’t win, but I did meet Bobby Brown at the ceremony) and AllMusic.com called the album “a pop masterpiece” which was very flattering. After that, it was touring, for what seemed like forever. Some highlights were opening for Apples in Stereo at SXSW and a string of tour dates with Meat Puppets, who are best known for playing 3 of their songs with Nirvana on the legendary ‘Unplugged’ album.
Touring became exhausting and we came off the road and went right back into the studio to start album number 3. Our record deal turned out to be too good to be true: they were very generous and gave us tons of tour support but they were very controlling in the recording process. Alex and I started to fight and I hated it, because I was living out every rock and roll cliché, and I saw it happening, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. They hired an outside producer for the sessions. Alex and I had produced the first 2 albums alone with Richard Marr and I was skeptical. I was constantly at odds with the label because they weren’t giving us the freedom we earned in the studio. I didn’t like how the album was shaping up at all. I refused to record the lead vocals until we resolved our issues with the label, but the band was falling apart. I was under contract but I was miserable and I thought about quitting the band. This was the hardest decision of my life and I went slightly nuts in the process. The longer I refused to sing and continued to postpone recording sessions, the worse things got. In March 2008, I tried to bargain with the label; I would record the vocals and release the album but I needed 6 months off from touring. I was burnt out, completely, and my health, mental and physical was suffering. Alex and I were barely speaking. After a show in Boston, Alex and I had words that escalated into the lamest fist fight that you’ve ever seen. Bouncers pulled us apart. I quit The Sterns that night via email and I didn’t speak to Alex for nearly 3 years. Album cancelled, band broken up, Rock and roll cliché complete. The kicker, of course, was that we didn’t know there was already a deal to include our song ‘Supreme Girl’ on Rock Band 2. Millions of people were going to know our song and our name but now there was no band.
Alex and I reconciled in 2011 and we were both haunted by the unfinished album. The record contract had expired but the label still owned the work we started in 2007 so we went back to Galaxy Park and started the whole album from scratch. Life had pointed us in different directions, so we weren’t back as a full time band but we chipped away the album in 2012 and 2013. We finished album 3, ‘Savage Noble Steals The Ancient Riffs’ in the spring of 2013 and that is when my mom got sick. My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in late June of 2013. A few weeks later in July, my girlfriend of 7 years left me amidst all the stress and turmoil of my mom’s illness. My Mom died unexpectedly on August 2nd , 7 weeks after diagnosis. So The Sterns were back but everything else in my life collapsed at once. That is the story of ‘Poor Me and The Pity Party…’ This was the darkest time in my life and I started writing music again for the first time since the Sterns breakup in 2008. I needed music to deal with the grief, the depression and the anger. I listened to all the great records about breakups and death and loss: ‘Rumours’, ‘Sea-Change’, ‘Automatic for the People’, ‘The Queen is Dead’, ‘Armed Forces’ etc. Most of my favorite music is somber or melancholy anyway, I am sort of a closet goth. But I found that during this horrible time, I didn’t really want to hear the sad songs that would let me wallow. I was seeking out upbeat music. And I found the self-consciously gloomy stuff that I loved (The Smiths, The Cure, Joy Division etc.) to be almost comical. As I wrote tunes, some were very heavy emotionally but there was something almost lighthearted about writing something so gut-wrenching, so I was sort of laughing at my own misery as a way of coping.
As the songs started happening, I knew I had the makings of a great breakup record, a great death record but weirdly, also an upbeat pop record. The music was too personal to bring it to the Sterns and attempt to resurrect that band. So that was the first time I thought about a “solo” project. I hate the term “solo project”, nothing about it is solo except that it’s my first full-length apart from my established band. The original idea was to record 3 ep’s, each on a theme and create fictional bands for each of the ep’s. The darker, heavy tunes were going to be released under the name “Poor Me and The Pity Party”, a dig at the self conscious gloom rock bands, but also at myself. But after recording commenced, I started feeling like all the songs would work together really well as an album. So instead of releasing them cryptically under false names, I decided I was ready to start an actual band again and that is The Deadly Desert. Ryan Tremblay and Jarod Cournoyer deserve a lot of credit for making this band a reality, because at the outset when we went in the studio, I had no real designs of coming out of musical retirement, but they loved the songs and gave constant support and we loved playing music together, so hats off to them. We have Kathleen Dona-Zavalia playing drums, so now the band is a real thing, and I’m still not quite sure how it happened.
Ryan Tremblay
PM: What brought you to PVD? What attracts you to the scene?
CS: Providence has always been home. Growing up in Woonsocket was rather dull from a creative standpoint. I love my hometown but as a teenager there were no all ages music venues, no bookstores, no cinema, no ethnic food, no decent record stores or music stores so it was very isolating and if you wanted to see a show or buy a certain record, you hopped on 146 and came to Providence. By the time I graduated high school, I was spending most of my time in Providence, working at an east side record shop and going to school at URI downtown. I think we’re all incredibly lucky to live here and most of the time we don’t realize it. Culturally, we have the best features of
Boston or New York without the hassles of big city life. I lived in Boston for 3 years and it’s a beautiful city, but personally, Providence is more my speed.
I think one benefit of the compactness of Rhode Island and Providence specifically is that the music scene is very incestuous. Everyone knows everyone else so I think it helps foster a stronger sense of community without the competition. The music scene is Boston for example is more fractured and there are so many musicians vying for the attention of a dwindling live music audience that it becomes a competition. And I don’t think art should ever be competitive. A band that gets a buzz in Boston starts thinking nationally very early because Boston, like Austin, New York, Seattle, Nashville and L.A. is viewed as one of the big music towns where young bands are plucked from obscurity and vaulted to stardom. So there is a lot of posturing and jockeying for status within the music scene. There is none of that pretense in Providence, it’s more about the show, the record, the song. The focus is on the audience, not starting a career as a pop star.
PM: Where did you record the album? What was the process like? Are you very hands on?
CS: The album was recorded at Galaxy Park studios in Watertown, Massachusetts by my close friend and collaborator Richard Marr. He recently relocated the studio to downtown Salem. This is the fifth full length album I have recorded with Richard so we have a process in the studio that revolves around a lot of goofing around, drinking coffee and gossiping and then gradually we get down to work. He recorded all 3 of the Sterns albums so we communicate by osmosis because he knows what sounds I like and which sounds I don’t like, so we are able to skip a lot of hand wringing and debating because he instinctively knows what I’m hearing. It helps that he was raised on gloomy 80’s British guitar rock that I love because if I tell him, “You know that guitar tone on ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’?”, he’s already twisting knobs and dialing in the sound we need.
I am a control freak in the studio. Richard and I have been making records together since 2003 so he gives me free reign, like any good engineer or producer should. Most of what I know about recording comes from Richard anyway, so I am intimately involved in every part of the process. Richard runs pro-tools because I am somewhat computer illiterate when it comes to recording. It’s necessary, but it’s my weakness, so I focus on the sounds and we limit the use of digital tricks. We will spend a few hours finding the perfect combination of room sound, amp, microphone and analog effect rather than fishing around the computer for a digital plug in. I insisted that we record to tape, because, apparently, I like burning studio time and money. Richard hesitated but we did it, putting drums, bass, some acoustic guitar, piano and even some vocals to the tape machine. This only works because all the parts, including overdubs, are mapped out in advance. There is no composing or arranging in the studio. All the parts exist on the home demo, so when I’m behind the fancy studio mics, it’s about executing the parts and finding the sounds I can’t get in my bedroom with my 8 track and one mic. There is some improvisation, but not much. I pushed myself to learn theremin because I was fascinated by it and I wanted to use it on 2 tracks. I practiced for a few weeks before the session, went in and recorded theremin tracks for 6 or 7 hours. We ended up using maybe 10 seconds of theremin on the entire album, mostly because I performed it terribly. So ideas don’t always pan out, but we don’t experiment with parts, just sounds.
PM: Where would you like to see this album go? Why record it now? How will you translate the lush instrumentation live?
CS: I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I would love to sell a million copies of an album. That’s not going to happen. I always thought that The Sterns were sort of a cult band. We had a very small audience, but maybe 10 or 15 years later people would rediscover the albums and we’d be the great lost indie band that time forgot. I think anyone who is serious about music and works hard at it craves the validation and adoration of an audience, whether that’s 50 people at a concert or 1000 downloads on iTunes. But there is really no point doing the real work of writing, recording and releasing records if you don’t absolutely love to do it. If only 20 people hear this album, that’s alright, I’ll make another one. If we play shows and only 5 people come, that’s ok, we’ll book another show. So the album doesn’t have to go anywhere, it can just exist. On the other hand, I know it’s very trite, but in 2016, you can name your life a success if you can make a living doing what you love. So, of course, there is still that elusive dream of doing ONLY music and still paying my bills. I haven’t figured out that trick yet, but if I do, I’ll let you know.
I can live without playing live. I enjoy it, but it’s temporary. And honestly, as an introvert, playing live can be utterly exhausting. A recording lasts forever. I have great memories of my favorite concerts, but there is nothing like putting on your favorite song or album when you NEED to hear it. After years of touring, playing 100-150 shows a year, I realized the writing and recording process was my greatest strength. I don’t need “success” to spur me on. We started recording this album in September of 2014 and finished it in October. It took over 2 years, not because I was unmotivated or scrambling for ideas, but because the studio is expensive and I would work my day job, save up and then schedule a block of sessions every 6 weeks or so. I self-funded the recording because I love being in the studio and building the songs. Nothing for me is more fulfilling than starting with a tiny notion of a song and watching it blossom over time. So regardless of how this album is received, I already have another albums worth of songs that I am slowly working out. I’ll save up and when we’re ready we’ll go back into the studio and do it again and always try to improve on what came before.
-Cold Soup
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