#I THOUGHT THIS WAS A STUPID JOKES CAMPAIGN THATS SO FUCKED UP
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Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas
Meat, page 32
DAVE: yo
DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something
ROXY: yo yourself but this is important
DAVE: uhhh
DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??
DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely
ROXY: idk about that
ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not
ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell
ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things
ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap
ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro
DAVE: a nap you say
DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything
ROXY: yea??
DAVE: nah
ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this
ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him
DAVE: uh no
ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight
ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....
ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??
DAVE: thats weird
DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them
ROXY: idk
ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here
ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things
DAVE: so whats wrong with her again
DAVE: like
DAVE: some sort of demonic nap
ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se
ROXY: shes just like
ROXY: floatin here... upright
ROXY: eyes wide open
ROXY: and theyre both pitch black
DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads
ROXY: lol
ROXY: no dude
ROXY: like what im sayin is
ROXY: she looks a lil possessed
ROXY: by uh
ROXY: grim spirits n shit
DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again
ROXY: no!
ROXY: this isnt grimbark
ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it
ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??
ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke
DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad
DAVE: but its not really my field
DAVE: did you try calling rose
ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan
ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing
ROXY: but rose isnt picking up
ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair
ROXY: i called an unruly number of times
ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...
DAVE: huh
DAVE: spooky
ROXY: hella spooky
ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong
DAVE: yeah i guess
DAVE: what do you think is up
ROXY: idk
ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it
ROXY: its gone
ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched
DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective
DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year
ROXY: dave
DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched
ROXY: ..............
DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had
DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support
DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us
DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives
DAVE: so we gotta like
DAVE: concentrate here?????
DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives
DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)
ROXY: oh
ROXY: jakes on ur side then?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access
ROXY: god dammit jane
DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever
ROXY: siiigh
ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh
ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news
DAVE: yeah sorry about that
DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean
DAVE: not sorry that were doin it
DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by
DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do
DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation
DAVE: like objectively speaking
ROXY: ugh pls dont start
DAVE: just sayin
ROXY: idgAF!!!
DAVE: also
DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform
DAVE: i also think
DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job
DAVE: full stop
ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: of course i do
DAVE: because i...
ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question
ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while
DAVE: uh alright shoot
ROXY: yea soooo
ROXY: dave how did you come out
DAVE: ...
DAVE: what?
ROXY: like as not being straight
ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u
ROXY: do u think its ever too late to
ROXY: idk
ROXY: change ur mind?
ROXY: about the person you wanna be??
ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character
ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”
ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy
ROXY: is greedy even the right word
ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells
ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences
ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)
DAVE: ids n preffies
DAVE: damn
DAVE: thats fucking good
DAVE: anyway uh
DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now
ROXY: yeah ur right
ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam
ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here
DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that
DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time
DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping
DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade
DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her
DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital
ROXY: im thinkin about it!!
ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like
ROXY: mess with her tho?
ROXY: how would i even take her there...
DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital
DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes
DAVE: probably not a literal rap though
ROXY: wow im disappointed
DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?
DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me
ROXY: :(
DAVE: ok so
DAVE: what ive learned is
DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages
DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay
DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward
DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore
DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud
DAVE: inside you start being like
DAVE: oh shit
DAVE: maybe yes homo
DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay
DAVE: stage five is
DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described
DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal
DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine
DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day
DAVE: in really lame ways like
DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets
DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket
DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler
DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick
DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay
DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%
DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket
DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni
DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night
DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court
DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue
DAVE: anyway when all is said and done
DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you
ROXY: dave...
DAVE: what
ROXY: nm
ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this
ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk
DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything
ROXY: so whats stage ten
DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh
DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.
DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.
DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.
DIRK: They’re mine.
DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?
DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to
DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.
DIRK: I fucking dare you.
DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.
DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.
DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.
DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.
DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?
DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.
DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.
DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.
DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.
DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.
DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.
DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?
DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”
DIRK: Sure you do.
DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion
DAVE: theres lots of layers
DAVE: they suck on pizza
DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them
DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw
DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about
ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?
DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me
DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at
ROXY: yea
ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho
ROXY: but im workin on that!
ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too
DAVE: oh DOPE
DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea
DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.
DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.
DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this
DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c
DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now
DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong
DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe
ROXY: dave!!!
DAVE: ok ok
DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what
ROXY: wat
DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right
ROXY: well first of all
ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??
ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that
ROXY: even if it was effin cute
DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did
DAVE: but i could start again
DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something
DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad
ROXY: ok but SECOND of all
ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific
DAVE: what
DAVE: ugh no way
ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!
DAVE: aw fuck noooo
DAVE: wow man
DAVE: i would never call him that
DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...
DAVE: wait
ROXY: what
DAVE: something feels
DAVE: wrong
ROXY: ???
DAVE: like some shits about to go down
DAVE: and i gotta...
DAVE: karkat! dude!!!
DAVE: GET DOWN!
KARKAT: WHAT?????
DIRK: You’re absolutely right.
DIRK: I would never do that.
DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.
DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.
DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.
DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.
DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.
DIRK: But not with bullets.
DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.
DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.
DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.
ROXY: hellooooooo
ROXY: dave??
ROXY: whered ya go
DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.
DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.
DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.
DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...
DIRK: Ow!
DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.
DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.
DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.
DIRK: All he needs to do is say...
DIRK: FIRE.
DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?
DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?
DIRK: So be it.
DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.
DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.
DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.
DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.
DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.
DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.
DIRK: Like the bitch she is.
DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.
DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.
DIRK: Aaand, nope.
DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.
DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?
DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.
DIRK: Not even one syllable.
DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.
DIRK: Not that you ever did.
DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?
#homestuck#homestuck epilogues#dave strider#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#karkat vantas#meat epilogue#page 32
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my characters! this got pretty dang long so i put it under a read more lol
Raide! Genderfluid, any pronouns
Raide is a Twili, which is a species from twilight princess, but ive changed em up a bit to be more interesting in my opinion.
Raide is 17, and is a passionate artist with a lot of skills. she can sew, she can draw, he can paint, he can play violin and cello and flute, they can write, they can just do a lot.
they were born to two royal guards, and he loves his mothers deeply, even if she isnt following in their footsteps. she is currently dating her boyfriend, Calen, and loves him very very dearly.
Calen! Trans Man, He/Him.
Calen, despite sharing almost every physical trait of one, is not a twili. he is actually a living doll, built by his mother and father after they were unable to have kids. his father spent years crafting him out of strong wood, before casting a spell to give him life. he is, for all intents and purposes, a regular twili, the only difference being the type of ears he has, and the fact that he has to take special elixirs to keep himself functioning.
Calen is also 17, and is a travelling merchant. he gathers supplies and travels the half-light kingdoms in order to sell his goods, which range from potions, to dyes, to fabrics and tools. he always comes back home though, in favor of restocking his wares and seeing his family.
The Twins, Kalt and Vang! Kalt, Nonbinary, He/They. Vang, Trans Woman, She/Her.
The twins are 16, and are the prince and princess of one of the Half-Light kingdoms. which one? uhhh get back to me on that lmao. these two arent quite as fleshed out as the other two because the other two were recycled OC's that i already loved, so they tend to get more attention from me...
Kalt doesnt really have anything special going on. hes just a little guy who cares about his friends.
Vang however, was born with the ability to see small glimpses of the past or present. she doesnt control them, and she doesnt really like them either, but theres nothing she can do about it. she was born a few minutes before Kalt and she will absolutely make fun of him for it.
Both of them are friends with Calen and Raide.
okay, now for not legend of zelda OC's!
Hobic. Trans Man, He/Him.
this is hobic. hes entirely based on a stupid joke my family makes. instead of saying homophobic we sometimes say Home Of Hobic, which led to the joke that Hobic is a gay wizard with a Homophobic Home. The home of hobic is homophobic. get it. yeah. theres not much to him yet but he exists. he's probably in his mid 20's.
Trance! gender? whos that? any pronouns
trance is just. a lynx without eyes. why? i thought it would be cool. i was correct btw. Trance is basically just a mascot type deal at this point but you can still ask about it.
Zeverin! He/Him, usually..
this is zeverin, or zev for short. hes a changeling rouge from my first dnd campaign. he's a little stupid but he has the spirit. the owl mask on his head is a special item he got on his journey, specifically because he was the only character without dark vision, which the goggles help with. he can and will attempt to persuade and or seduce his way out of situations if he can, just because he thinks its funny. he also can and will stab people.
he tried to steal soap from a store once. just for fun. he got caught though, and then kicked out, and then almost killed for it before his teammate used her incredible charm to get the shopowner to calm the fuck down.
this drawing shows him as he prefers to look, but he can change his appearance whenever. his "true" form is completely void of color, a blank slate, as it is for all changelings.
time for more fandom ones!
Falling Stars on Cloudy Nights, or Stars for short (FSoCN) any pronouns work!
Stars is an iterator OC from the game rainworld. again, not really fleshed out much, but shes an iterator with an interest in art and the sky. she is the sibling iterator to my actual siblings iterator oc, but thats not my job to talk about lol. Stars is just kind of here, but again, feel free to ask about him, maybe itll help give him some personality!
Glowstick!! He/Him
Glowstick is a.. scavenger.. slugcat... thing.. from rainworld! He was made up when i messed with spearmasters colors and the dress my slugcat mod and accidentally gave spearmaster Bright Green spears. His title is The Chemist, based on the fact that he has weird chemicals in his tail that allow him to make glowing spears whenever.
he has good relationships with the scavengers and his iterator, stars. he is a little bloodthirsty, and will sometimes go out for cycles at a time just to go hunt lizards or vultures, but he always comes home.
Squid Jr! he/him
this is Squid Jr. he was made because i messed around with the beastmaster mod and ended up making a monk slugpup, which we promptly named "squad jr" after his family, The Squad, who is really just a hoard of playable Monk slugcats that i summon when me and my sibling feel like messing around and or i die in the game and want to be funny by helping using The Squad.
Squid Jr was renamed after one of my mutuals was saddened by the fact he was not, in fact, named Squid Jr.
Squid Jr is my son boy boy son and i love him so so much. look at his little face-
next up is another set of fandom oc's!
my sonic oc group! Media the Raven, They/He/She. Marble the Manta Ray, She/Her. and Moss the Lynx, He/They.
these guys are pretty new so they dont have much going on at all, other than the fact that media is the oldest, and marble is the youngest, and all three are video game nerds. they also either share a house/apartment or they just go to each others houses all the time. undetermined.
thats all folks! i hope you enjoyed reading this pretty brief description of each of my guys. feel free to ask me about any of them at any time. ill post more about them eventually as i flesh them out, but for now this is about all you need to know i think.
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In which we close a narrative loop and dave is a tsun
Dave: Get the damn beta and save your friend's life!
Let’s get a move on!!
Finally the betas are easily accesible when we want them to be, instead of spending 40 pages finding them by doing things like throwing cakes out the window
This notion strikes you as nonsensical. You can't imagine how a video game could save someone's life, and in any case, you're quite sure no one you know is in any danger.
.... fucking what
Is this before the other things? Have we gone slightly back in time in terms of the general story? Is this while John was fucking around in his room?
....Does this mean that we will lose these betas somehow in the inmediate future because nothing can ever be easy? Oh no
Anyway, these are your copies of the beta you received in the mail recently. You've labeled them with your name in BOLD RED PRINT to distinguish them from your BRO's copies, who labeled his in kind. Neither of you really gives a shit about this game or has any intention of playing it, but you'll be damned if you'll let that get in the way of your campaign of one-upmanship.
What is it with these kids and weird family relationships?
I predict we will lose our copies and we will have to get Bro’s copies, based on that each kid so far has had their parent/authority figure as an antagonistic force.
Dave: Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.
Oh god this is indeed a pattern we are going to be following!
We had the “wrong name” bit, the “find your arms” bit, the “idiotic command” bit....Are we going to do them again for GG when they are introduced? I wonder what this command will be then.
You would never consider allowing any fluid even remotely resembling urine to touch your beloved TURNTABLES. That would risk breaking them, and a world without the gift of your godly science just doesn't sound like a place you want any part of. While you're at it, you might as well wipe out human civilization with a meteor or something ridiculous like that which will probably never happen.
I like that the “on your turntable” part is the outrageous part of “bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable” for Dave. Kid values his raps more than his life. Although it’s probably true that the world would be lesser without those wonderful, wonderful things.
And yeah, nothing to worry about with meteors and such, Dave. I’m sure nothing bad will happen, ever. Just like how those game copies you have are going to be safe and accesible forever.
That sort of thing only happens in stupid idiot movies for stupid idiots.
Oh come on, I’m sure you can find a bit of value in them, even if it’s in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way.
==>
...wait, are you really considering it?
You will however contemplate bleating like a goat for IRONICALLY HUMOROUS purposes at a later date.
...I will keep that in mind in case it comes up later.
If PS has taught me anything is that these comics are Chekhov’s armories
Dave: Examine closet.
So inside the closet there is yet another package (probably a gift from John, judging by the pattern we seem to be having. Seriously, do all these kids send each other presents in the same manner? ) and some sort of drink?
This is your closet. This is where you keep a lot of your crap.
Most accurate description of a closet ever
Like that BOX. And that bottle of... what is that?
Is that...?
.....
Is that seriously a jar of piss? I would say “wtf” loudly, but your room is such a weird combination of things (including those weird fetus/ dissecated animals/ weeeeird shit) that I wouldn’t even be suprised
Dave: Check the blue box.
.....WHAT?
W-Why is there the BLACK OILY SUBSTANCE THAT STAINED THE KITCHEN WHERE JOHN IS STRANDED IN THE VOID HERE, ON THE PACKAGE??
Does the oil have multiversal properties? If it stains one’s house it also retroactively stains his possesions?? Or is this package from after those events?? Has it gone back in time??
WHAT??
But first let’s stop for a moment to appreciate the fact that Dave has a signed Stiller poster
This is the package that your friend John Egbert sent you for your 13th birthday a little while ago. It now contains nothing except a NOTE and a CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY vouching for the genuine Hollywood memorabilia which the box originally contained, and which you are now wearing to be IRONIC but also to be INCREDIBLY COOL IN A WAY SOMEHOW INTANGIBLY RELATED TO THE IRONIC NATURE OF THE ACCESSORY. You find it sort of exasperating to explain these subtleties to people.
John gave him the shades!! And they are apparently the real shades Ben Stiller wore in the movie!! That means that they are not *the* universal shades of PS, unless the shades in the Stiller bust were these ones and they somehow ended up there. But isn’t PS a videogame in this universe? But these shades had the universal glow?
Let’s not think too hard about that. It’s probably just an easter egg.
Also Dave please write a thesis on irony, the world needs it please.
The BOX also included a signed photo of BEN STILLER which now proudly hangs above your closet. Proudly and IRONICALLY.
I really like this totally (un)cool hipster kid.
Dave: Take box.
ohwahtthefuck
WHY ARE THE SYLLADEXES GETTING WORSE???
So it classifies things based on the balance of consonants and vocals in the name of the object and assigning an index value like in a hash map.
Oh boy this is a completely useless one in terms of getting shit done quickly, unless you have a godly grasp on words and their composition.
You captchalogue the BOX through your HASH MAP FETCH MODUS.
Your modus's current HASH FUNCTION resolves the index by valuing each consonant at 2, and each vowel at 1. The total is divided by your number of cards, and the remainder is the index.
BOX = 2 + 1 + 2 = 5
5 % 10 = 5
The BOX is captchalogued in card 5.
Just...LOOK at this
Look at this madness.
Dave: Examine jar of unknown yellow substance in the closet.
I don’t know why, but the combination of the quick turnaround, the fanfare and the fucking apple’s face makes this way more funny than it should be.
So it WAS apple juice after all.
Oh hell yes. It is an unopened container of APPLE JUICE. You thought you were all out. It is like fucking christmas up in here.
This is so great. You've got to tell John about this immediately. He'll be so excited.
Oh wait, is this before the first conversation, when Dave and John talked about Little Monsters and Apple Juices? Is this why that conversation was as out of left field as it was?
I see how it all fits together now
Dave: Take juice.
You captchalogue the JUICE into card 7.
2+1+1+2+1 %10 = 7.
Dear god is this system nightmarish
Dave: Access Pesterchum and pester John.
Oh I can see the loop closing!
In addition to letting your buddy know about this outstanding juice windfall, you figure you'll wish him a happy birthday while you're at it. In your own cool, sort of roundabout way of course. Good thing you looked at that box he sent you, or you might have forgotten.
You also might as well ask him about that beta. The kid's been harping about it for weeks. It would be cool if it came on his birthday. He'd be one happy camper.
Dave is such a tsundere in his friendships holy shit. You care about your friends a lot you dork
That background is rad
Wtf is “Complete Bullshit” as an app. (Probably some complete bullshit)
Ill beats because the laws of this universe demand it
Hephaestus, isn’t that the god of the blacksmiths and craftsmen? Cool icon. Reminds me of those flash games where the icons all fought each other.
Of course his emote in Pesterchum is S m o o t h
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:13 --
TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today
EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny.
TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here
EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage?
TG: but
TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken
TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory
EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle?
EB: try using your brain numbnuts.
TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like
TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous
EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice.
TG: ok i can accept that
TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters
TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face
TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it
TG: did you get the beta yet
EB: no.
EB: did you?
TG: man i got two copies already
TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring
TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro????
EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it.
TG: yeah
TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now
EB: alright.
And they DID indeed have the exact same conversation!!!
We are indeed back in time!!
We are sooooo gonna lose those Betas!!!! : D
#Homestuck#Homestuck liveblog#mspaintadventures#mspaintadventures liveblog#act 2#Dave Strider#john egbert
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Homestuck Liveblog #186
UPDATE 186: Political Assassination
Last time John finally got that tooth off his chest, and Jake agreed to give his endorsement to Karkaroni. Now what will happen? Let’s see.
Has it been days since Jade has been sitting on that couch, levitating and with her eyes completely black? Given everything that has happened in the meantime it sure feels like it has. Roxy’s getting worried, she tried to call Rose but she didn’t respond, so instead he goes for the next option she has: Dave. Who immediately brags about working to stop Jane from screwing up everything. The words ‘neoliberal austerity measures’ are unsaid but they’re like an echo when Dave talks about the presidential campaign, I bet. He’s busy handling Jake’s endorsement speech.
ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things
ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap
ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro
‘one hell of a nap, davey, shes been blacked out for, like, a week’
It seems the troll candidate is more popular with the trolls and the carapacians than with the humans and consorts. How don’t they have more consort supporters? Hopefully Jake’s endorsement will change that.
ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this
ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him
DAVE: uh no
ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight
ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....
ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??
DAVE: thats weird
Well that makes clear what the best course of action is: don’t open the windows nor place her anywhere in the daylight. If Dirk’s advice will help with the exorcism she needs – to get Dead Calliope out – then it’s a bad idea. I’m enjoying this epilogue much more with Dead Calliope controlling the narrative, thanks.
It’s alarming Kanaya isn’t picking up either. Could Dirk have gotten rid of her? I sure hope not! Kanaya has done nothing wrong and deserves to stay alive, what with being the professional when it’s about troll reproduction. She better still be fine and kicking!
DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support
DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us
DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives
DAVE: so we gotta like
DAVE: concentrate here?????
DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives
DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)
ROXY: oh
They don’t do that, much to Jade’s disappointment, I bet. Either way, it’s speech time!
The struggle to take control of the narrative is a petty squabble, says Dirk, taking the high ground by offering Dead Calliope a way out. Buddy, pal, friend, you can’t take the high ground and then insinuate Calliope is ugly as sin. That is petty.
Apparently everybody thinks Dave loves Karkaroni, and although I believe that too, it’s fine if Dave never comes to terms to that. The guy marches at the beat of his own drum, he’ll be fine. This kind of thing can’t be forced on him. Speaking of things that can’t be forced, Roxy wants to know how Dave came out to everyone else as not straight. Oh dear, Roxy, I don’t think Dave ever did that. You’re asking the wrong person – unless you want the answer to be ‘deny it for like eight years now’.
He’s not really denying it right now, though. Maybe he did come out to the others and I didn’t find out until now. He’s not comfortable enough with rapping about ‘boning dudes’ in middle of a stadium where so many people can see him, but he’s not running away from the question. Way to go, Dave! I approve character growth!
Somehow Dave has this entire spiel about all the steps of admitting not being straight. On what phase are you, Dave? Inquiring minds want to know. I’d paste the entire thing here, because it’s pretty good stuff, but it’d feel like I’m applying filler for the sake of applying filler, so I won’t.
Dirk really doesn’t want a conversation about gender. Personally I have to agree because, even though this is great for development and I appreciate all of Dave’s steps, this is kind of a random place to shove this in. Pretty bad place, really. It’d have been great at a different moment.
Horrendously invasive of Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts.
...uh, Dirk, you know what else is horrendously invasive? Taking over the narration and manipulating people around. Also the assimilation plan, that’s more than horrendously invasive.
Okay, this is going for long enough.
DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?
DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to?
the prince is laboring under the delusion that he has been the least bit subtle in his intentions. he currently stands beneath the carapacian bell tower, poised to climb to the top. he holds the long, red sniper rifle that once belonged to roxy, brandishing it openly and boldly. he seems mysteriously oblivious to the fact that holding a long rifle in broad daylight somewhat tips one to the fact that he soon intends to shoot someone from a great distance. he also seems unaware of the fact that i know perfectly well that the top of this tower has a clear, long-range view of the stadium, allowing any competent sniper a clear shot of whoever happens to be standing at the podium as they give a speech. as jake english is about to do.
he also doesn’t seem to realize i have anticipated his attempt to assassinate his own friend in order to advance his political goals, and that i am prepared to take measures which make this impossible.
It really sounds like Dirk’s getting ready to shoot, he’s up at the right place and has a view of the stadium where Jake will be, but...I don’t know, ever since Roxy said Dirk messaged her about keeping Jade in the sunlight for ‘an exorcism’ I have been feeling uneasy, and now that this all was said just now, well, I kind of suspect Dirk may try to shoot and kill Jade. It sure would free her of Dead Calliope’s control and possibly give him back the control of the narrative. It’s a possibility, no?
Somehow the next few paragraphs resembles a schoolyard roleplaying fight. ‘You can’t reach the top of the stairs because...your feet feel really heavy’ ‘really? Then I can fly’ ‘and then the bell came crashing down on you!’ ‘I cut that stupid bell with my sword!’ ‘not fair!’ ‘yes fair!’. It’s endearing in its own way.
DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?
DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”
no i don’t.
DIRK: Sure you do.
I’m having fun with this part, guys, I really am! This is great.
This is over when Dead Calliope, trying to stop the focus on Dirk and his increasingly petty narration, turns the attention back to Dave who must still be explaining to Roxy the intricacies of coming out to their friends. I see keeping a show in a standstill is a Strider family trait.
DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion
DAVE: theres lots of layers
DAVE: they suck on pizza
DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them
That has got to be the most contrived simile Dave has said in recent history.
Dirk continues saying very clearly he’s about to shoot Jake, and the more he states that so bluntly the more I suspect there’s something else going on.
‘Xenophobe’ and related words are starting to stop looking like a real word. It just has been said so many times.
Everything is making Dave feel like something’s wrong – undoubtedly Dead Calliope’s influence – so he gets in the path of any potential bullets, protecting Jake with his own body.
and despite dave’s quick and well-justified action, what is also unbeknownst to him is that the sniper no longer poses a threat of pulling that trigger. because everyone knows that for all of the prince’s shortcomings, he would never expose his beloved brother and son to the risk of a heroic death.
DIRK: You’re absolutely right.
DIRK: I would never do that.
DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.
I’m pretty willing to bet taking over Dave’s self doesn’t count as killing or hurting him, therefore it’s fair game. Dave would be pretty unhappy to know what Dirk’s doing, anyway. The narrative reveals what’s in the sniper rifle are not bullets, they’re tranquilizers. It’d be a non-fatal way of keeping someone out of the way for a while. The second thing Dead Calliope got wrong, though...
DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.
DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.
DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.
Well then! Turns out I may have been right about that he intends to shoot Jade. He must feel really confident about it if he can announce it aloud after aaaall the charades he did to fool Dead Calliope. Is it Jade, Dirk? Will you tranquilize Jade and pretty much put her to sleep – non-fatally?
Dirk spins in what must be the tiniest bell tower ever, given he only has to spin to change direction and be able to aim somewhere else, and gets ready to shoot. All Dead Calliope can do is freeze Dirk’s finger on the trigger, but he thought ahead and made the rifle to be voice-operated. All he has to do is say ‘fire’. Which he does! Game over for Dead Calliope?
Pretty good aim, hitting a vein from all this distance. Jade indeed has gotten tranquilized, and I’m pretty sure given this isn’t the first time Dirk uses tranquilizers – he uses them in TV – it shouldn’t be too hard for anyone to realize this is Dirk’s orangey shady hand making the moves.
The insult against Jade is uncalled for, Dirk. But yeah, the result of all this is that Dirk is once again back in control of the narrative, which makes me sigh with exasperation. I really liked Dead Calliope’s narration more than Dirk’s, so I’m not looking forward to this change.
Roxy drops to her knees by the couch, pulls the dart out of Jade’s neck, and tries to shake her awake. But it’s no use. That’s a heavy dose I gave her. Could be out for weeks. Maybe months? Can’t have any cherubs messing with my business on this planet. At least not until I’ve taken my leave. But Jade’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry about that.
So...she’s pretty much in a coma. Could be worse, could be worse. She could be dead. This is barely better.
Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.
Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.
Now who’s hungry for meat?
Does that mean the candy epilogue is all Dead Calliope’s influence seeping through instead of Dirk’s? It could be interesting to see what kind of thing she does to the world. Although...given the effects of the trickster lollipop and how ‘sweetness beyond comprehension’ is perfection to them, it’s bound to be nightmarish. I’m actually looking forward to that!
Speaking of meat, holy shit. You just look more fucked up every time we come back to you, don’t you, John?
You’re a disgraceful mess right now. Covered in blood, mysteriously sticky, bruised all over your arms, legs, and neck. Terezi practically raked rows into your back. You catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror. You’re kind of embarrassed by what a postcoital train wreck you look like when all she’s got is mussed hair. And you should be embarrassed. Seriously, it’s like you were mauled by a wild animal. Jesus, don’t either of you have any shame?
Ah. Okay then, good for them, although I’m pretty concerned. Such a physically intensive activity can’t be good for the guy with a gaping hole in the chest and the troll who still must be half-starved. I won’t be surprised if these two just pass out and die anytime soon. I’m not entirely sure, but it seems things are awkward now between these two. Maybe it was all a spur-of-the-moment move.
You sit together on the hatch, like when you first met up days ago. Terezi crawls into your arms, and nuzzles right up against your chest so you have no choice but to hold on to her. You would have done it anyway if she asked, because you’re a total sap. The kind of guy who no doubt thinks banging a girl in a car is some deep, soul-shattering experience that bonds you for life. Yeah, John, you do think that. You think that you and Terezi are basically married now.
I can’t tell if he really thinks that or if Dirk’s funneling those thoughts into him. The line between what the character feels and what Dirk wants them to feel is pretty blurry by now.
After all this, Terezi gives up on looking for Vriska, so this is a prime moment for her to fly by and find them. She doesn’t, though, and John proposes Terezi to go home with him. Can they even go home? John is so tired it’s possible they can’t – which he really should have thought about before doing said physically intensive activity. Nobody to blame but yourself, John. Seriously, you have an open wound and bled like four liters of blood. You’re as good as dead.
He feels the urge to lie down and sleep, which is a pretty bad idea given the situation. Terezi rouses him up, so instead he decides to give this a try and zap back home. Hmmmm...if he’s so tired right now, it’s possible the act of zapping home will drain whatever energy he has left, so I’m not...very optimistic about John’s chances of survival. Would this count as a heroic death? Can you die from a heroic death if you die like two weeks after the offending injury is made? If he dies from exertion after having sex with Terezi that doesn’t count as a death because having sex with Terezi is neither heroic nor just, no? Oh well.
Back in the stadium, the inexistent assassination attempt may have given Karkaroni a push in the polls, and Dirk spends quite a while brandishing Jake like a piece of meat. Really, can he be treated as more than a flat character whose only non-flat trait is his posterior? Jake’s nervous and fidgets around, so much Dave and Karkaroni show concern and offer to cancel the speech and/or the campaign. It seems our favorite presidential troll still doesn’t like the idea of having leadership, he’s ready to throw the towel anytime. Jake insists he can do it, so he starts!
I don’t remember Dirk being so outright antagonistic in Homestuck. It’s making me pretty uncomfortable, I have to admit. It feels kind of out of nowhere, just like Jane’s sudden xenophobic inclinations are. What was Hussie thinking when he wrote all this? What was his intention?
Jake’s getting pretty nervous and I can’t tell if he’s getting stage fright or if Dirk’s influencing him to be nervous. The latter is a possibility, no? Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what’s going on.
Why don’t you have a good, long think about that, Jake.
Is this really the time for a good, long think? Jake muses to himself, actually putting a finger to his chin like some public domain clip art picture of a befuddled guy. If the crowd is confused by his rapid-cycle mood changes, they don’t show it. Jake’s got a bit of a day-drinking problem, which has been slavishly documented in the global tabloids. That’s how you avoid responsibility, isn’t it, Jake? You can fool your fans, but not yourself. The truth is that there’s a canniness to the act. It’s partially cultivated. You’re stupid, but you’re not nearly as stupid as you pretend to be.
JAKE: What in the devil was i thinking coming here?
JAKE: Why did I...?
JAKE: I came here to...
... slide the biggest knife any motherfucker ever wielded directly into your friend Jane Crocker’s back?
She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. And you would have guiltlessly toyed with her “kettle drums” too had it not been for a bit of divine intervention, let’s decide to call it.
Sigh. That’s...that’s all I can do with all this. Sigh and keep reading. Third time I’m scrolling through the epilogue a tad faster than I should. It’s pretty much an entire page of gaslighting. Nothing really worth delving into, mainly because it’s pretty uncomfortable to read such a thing. Dirk’s being the abusive ex, pretty much. Nothing really worthwhile.
JAKE: I love dirk!
JAKE: IM IN *LOVE* WITH DIRK!!!
And to love Dirk is to obey him.
You know, there are a few reasons why I’m thinking of liveblogging these epilogues. I’ll explain them later, but right now I may as well say a word of two: the epilogue is competently written. The events in it are interesting, and the interactions are raw and full of emotion. It’s all pretty unpleasant to read, which makes it a bit novel, like swallowing bitter medicine. It’s pretty good, in a technical way.
But it simply doesn’t work with Homestuck characters. It just doesn’t.
Anyway, let’s continue scrolling down to the end of the page and go to the next.
I was right in that zapping back to Earth C would take what was left of John’s energy. He barely can give three steps before he falls down, so it’s all up to Terezi now. She wants to bring John to Jane, so she can revive him. I don’t think she has revived him before, so it should be a good idea. It’d be better to bring Jane to John, though.
It doesn’t matter. This isn’t a wound you can recover from. It’s Game Over this time: no healing, no afterlife, no cosmic clock proclaiming your sacrifice as Heroic. The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.
Oh, nevermind, it’s something not even Jane with her life powers can fix. I wonder if, once John is erased, nobody will remember him. That’s what happens when there’s no place for you in a narrative, no? Hmmm...
John already know he’s irreversibly going to die, and tells Terezi not to waste her time, that he was dead the moment Lord English bit him. Which is true, given this poison. Then he says he was dead the moment he woke up that morning, which...I suppose is the depression talking.
You died the moment you made the decision to go meet your destiny. You would have lived if you made the other decision, under a certain definition of the word “living.” You might have even lived until the end of your immortal life span, as shitty as that sounds.
So he’d have lived for the rest of his life if he had decided to do nothing. Makes sense. This may have been for the better, given Lord English needed to be defeated, so it’s time well-spent. It’s rather unfortunate it involves John’s death, but...in a way I saw this coming. Pretty tragic outcome, and given this epilogue has been chock-filled with a lot of tragedy and pessimistic scenarios, it only made sense this would happen.
It’s dying words time! Terezi is really affected because she really cares for John, and also they had a ‘emotionally significant sexual encounter’, so she’s even willing to listen to all the sappy stuff John will say in his deathbed. This is bound to be rather emotional! And the fact he can’t even think of something appropriate to say in his final moments is what makes it emotional because this isn’t how he imagined this would go. He can’t even think of quotes from his movies. Terezi offers to tell everyone John Egbert said some cool stuff in his final moments and make everybody believe it somehow, so instead John goes straight towards the sappy and tragic. There he goes!
JOHN: i think... i really lo—
TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3
JOHN: i... r-really lov—
TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 FUCK1NG D13 ON M3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON!
TEREZI: 1 FORB1D 1T!!!
JOHN: but... i...
JOHN: i...
Then John dies in the middle of a love confession.
Love confession on the deathbed! It’s like this truly came from a movie, haha. Terezi is devastated, so much she can’t even bring herself to cry properly. Once she confirms he’s dead, she ponders what she should do now, alone in the world John wanted to bring her to. She doesn’t have anything else to do, so after a moment – and at Dirk’s behest – she takes John’s corpse in Dad Egbert’s wallet and starts walking.
It has been a month already. Jane won the election after what I figure was Jake’s endorsement speech for her, so that’s that. Terezi has been rather lost this whole month, and nobody has seen John Egbert – instead of saying he’s dead -- so I suppose she hasn’t told anyone he’s dead. Rose has been missing the entire time and Kanaya has been pushed around by Dirk’s machinations to keep him distracted while he keeps Rose locked away somewhere, both mentally and physically, I figure. All in all, it’s a pretty grim outlook for everybody in Homestuck. Also, Jade is still in coma. Terezi goes to visit her, perhaps to tell her what happened to John?
Dirk continues being so salty Roxy’s experimenting with her gender, apparently. Aren’t there a million other things to deal with, pal?
Roxy is very glad to see Terezi, and she takes Terezi thinking she’s Dave as a compliment. She also compliments Terezi, giving her some heartache because it makes her remember the time she spent with John. It may have been a few hours, apparently. Time works in mysterious ways up there in paradox space!
The reason Terezi is here is because she feels John would come here, and she’s right, I bet. John would want to check on Jade as much as he can, so now that she’s carrying John’s cadaver around, she feels she should handle this all herself. It’s also confirmed she hasn’t told anyone John is dead.
ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out
ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home
ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all
ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls
TEREZI: WH4T?
ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise
ROXY: some of it is like
ROXY: weird and violent??
ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um
ROXY: nudity????
TEREZI: >:?
ROXY: yeah yikes
ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit
ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy
ROXY: so it was hard as hell to convince them to let me come see jade at all
ROXY: its like theyre traumatized
ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me
So the end result for Calliope is that she’s traumatized. Seeing a dead version of herself possessing Jade must have really rattled her. As I said, this is all pretty grim for everyone in Homestuck, goodness. Although...part of me wonders if her current state is partly because of Dirk’s influence. He’s petty enough to mess with the living Calliope’s head as a ‘take that’ for Dead Calliope.
Someone tries to contact Terezi through her phone, she’s not sure who it’d be. Perhaps Dirk? He did show a preference to sending messages to his former friends and acquaintances. As if things weren’t awkward enough for Terezi, she’s asked if she knows what happened to John. Terezi, you can’t keep this under wraps forever. Sooner or later you have to tell everyone John died because of injuries in Lord English’s fight.
It seems Terezi can hear Dirk perfectly even when he’s talking in the narration, I suppose it’s because of her aspect. Oh, be careful with the stuff you say, Dirk! She’s also willing to whisper stuff to address Dirk, even if it gets odd looks from other people. On the other hand, this kind of leaves her more vulnerable to Dirk’s machinations, no? Part of manipulating people is responding to what they say, so with some luck this won’t go belly-up.
Once the conversation is over Roxy leaves and Dirk exposits Terezi still feels guilty about hiding John’s death from everyone, and she can’t even confide in Dave because of mistakes she did as a teenager in another timeline. It’s the curse of having the Mind aspect, isn’t it? Knowing what the choices cause. All of Dirk’s exposition bothers Terezi enough for her to tell him to scram, and he refuses to do so.
Come on, Terezi. You don’t belong here. You know you don’t belong here.
Do you feel threatened by Terezi, Dirk? Is that why you’re trying to push her away? I don’t think Terezi has anything that could be particularly useful against Dirk’s plans, so I’m not sure why he’s bothering to mess with her like this. She even points out they barely have crossed words.
Okay, I believe he feels threatened by her in some manner because he tries to convince her to join him in...some place. More like he wants her out of Earth C. He even offers to let her take John with her, which is why I’m sure he made her pick up the corpse, so he could manipulate her by using John. He finally leaves her alone with her thoughts, sure he managed to convince her enough. We’ll see.
Stopping for now!
Next time: next update
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My Feelings on Roy Endoza
sooo i wrote this basically after a big thing happened in our campaign. it was basically a way to vent to myself and i never ended up sending it until now. anyway, here’s a couple of ramblings.
It’s Carter and it’s finally getting to the end of Campaign 2. It’s been over a year since Roy Endoza has existed as my character and he’s so different to how I originally imagined him. Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings so I’ll divide it up into categories. I’m writing this as how I’m feeling so it makes sense its whatever comes to mind first and makes sense chronologically but you can read it how you want but this is gonna be definitely from the most impactful things to the least.
Basically my Thoughts on how I wrote Roy
For starters, he was this unempathetic doctor who stole corpses from hospitals to practice necromancy for fun, and lies about being dead because its hilarious. I eventually evolved him into this gentle guy who adores the people he loves because I decided to give him a boyfriend; Milo Corazon (his name is cute because it means “My Heart”. Roy’s name means nothing symbolic). Milo was just meant to be there to make him have more depth as a character, and that’s exactly what I did. I got really attached to him though, and I came to the realization that I need to seperate Roy from Milo for the campaign to start.
And as tropey as it is, I decided to kill him. And I didnt just want him to die from illness or an accident or get “murdered by a syndicate”. Milo is soft, he’s innocent and gentle and sweetness and sunshines and thats exactly why Roy Endoza fell for him. So I made Roy kill him through the irony of his own necrotic practices.
Since even before the campaign started I’ve been threading it along that Roy is dead. He’s a corpse who was brought back from the gods mysteriously. I even faked being a cleric. It’s a fake backstory I made to counter the real one, and everybody believed it. It didnt counter anything, it made sense.
And even before that, I’ve known he was going to lie and I’ve known he was going to try to use necromancy to bring his boyfriend back and I’ve known he was going to continually lie to keep himself safe.
Basically my Thoughts on Royce
At the start of the campaign he got the letter. An opportunity. He met Fox only a while after his accident and he got attached.. to this lost confused boy who was just as lost as he was. And then we met all of you.
Shortly after, I told Ayce about my “lie” first... and then Ayce had the exact same thing going on and I took it as an opportunity. I saw the opportunities with Roy betraying Ayce and using him. And I thought about how fucking beautiful it would be if they were a romance and how much more impactful it would be if they were. Not only did it make sense with Roy’s motives of finding a way to bring back Milo, but it made sense for Roy and Ayce to “empathise” with eachother after going through “the same thing”. And holy fuck I took that opportunity and RAN with the wind and I’ve not regretted it.
I absolutely fucking adore Royce even for those messed up reasons. It just works. Ayce is absolutely the type of boy that’s Roy’s type. Kind of small and good for hugging, has fluffy hair and a nice smile, a bit cheeky and dumb but still clever and really charismatic.. and the relationship between the necrotic boys and bonding over that was a bonus. It probably would have worked in a universe where Ayce’s life wasnt fucked and Roy chose not to do necromancy. It was sweet and cute and perfect without the angst but it was heartbreaking and tragic and awful WITH the angst. I loved the potential for the love and cute bits and even more so I loved the potential for all the heartbreak and the angst.
Endoza loves Milo Corazon with every ounce of his heart and he was interested in Ayce because it was Ayce that made him know it was possible. Truly, and really possible, to bring back someone from the dead.
I know that’s evil for me as a player to continue this plotline but it made sense in character. Roy was interested. And it was mistaken for romantic interest.
And Roy... didn’t mind. He genuinely loves Ayce. More than he expected to for just a person he was going to use as a stepping stool for his goal (it sounds awful, I’ve KNOWN this). And I as the player loved it.. I loved Royce because not only did I get to attach my character to something else but it just worked so well narratively. It was unexpected and it was beautiful and it was tragic and I’ve known that the honeymoon phase of Royce was only going to last for a few months before it collapsed into this deep well of never turning back and yet I kept pushing and chugging for this relationship to happen bc I really wanted the drama that I knew would come along with it (also it just WORKS narratively)
Basically my Thoughts on The Gods / Being a Champion
To be honest I’m unsure how none of you ever found my story to be bullshit when Roy himself never had faith in the gods. He has absolutely no relationship with his god and he only used them as a stepping stone for his lie and it worked, even though I messed up so many times and admitted I never trusted them.
Which.. why would Roy trust a God who doesnt know him at all? Or even more so, if the God supposedly knows “everything about Roy” yet didn’t attempt to stop Roy on his endeavour of necromancy despite being heavily against necrotic magic. Or why the Gods who are so against necromancy would choose a boy who was bought back to life and a necromancer himself. It was silly and Roy thinks the gods were stupid in their choosings.
In his mind Roy believes that the gods have no power. They’re weak and that’s why they make people to their gritty work, because they can’t do it themselves. In his mind, Roy doesn’t quite believe everything their saying. Roy Endoza doesn’t care about about being a champion, but he’s curious...
Beshaba was obviously wanting the keys because of their immense power, so he thought that maybe he can use it for himself. Unlock a power that nobody else has or could, use it not for anyone but himself and Milo. He wasn’t on anyone’s side. Neither the gods or Beshaba. He only wants to save his loved ones and himself even if it meant committing blasphemy.
The first time I ever talked to Lathandar he was already so far down the rabbit hole. Roy already had no respect for the gods and was going through with his plans anyway, so his god trying to talk him out to it just felt like a massive joke to him. Why do you care now when you never cared before?
But yet I asked him questions anyway. To use him, to find out more. I asked him about the magic readings and I asked him about the keys and I asked him about the world beyond Sanctuary and I asked him about Beshaba.
All to find out that the gods are.. basically inefficient and that they were evil once. That beyond sanctuary they were corrupt and then they suddenly “grew a conscious” (Roy finds it hard to believe that people, even Gods, can just “stop being corrupt”) and when they got embarrassed of their actions, closed off the rest of the world. They do nothing except sit and let their champions do things and are scared of Beshaba; one God vs the four of them. But why are they scared when they have collective power and the keys? They could banish Beshaba themselves with their power alone. This is why Roy doesn’t (and has never) believed in what the gods stand for. He is only using them, and the only reason he stayed was because of Ayce and Fox.
As I’m writing this, it’s just after the Gala episode. I’ve put my heart and soul and emotions into Roy so a part of my kind of has a distaste for them too (I’m so fking sorry Keiran but theyre just so lazy I cant 😭)
Anyway, it's weird. I've been playing this entire campaign knowing that everybody puts their entire faith and trust into the gods but I just never have.. (or at least Roy doesn't so it's hard for me too). I'm really only following them to benefit myself, and that's exactly what happened but I can't help but feel like Beshaba might actually be trying to save us from this prison of the world they've made (or something poetic like that). I guess I also just think it's because it might be cool that the main villain was the good guys all along and we were the bad guys. Maybe it turns out that I'll be wrong, and I won't even be mad for it. But maybe I'll be right and I'll be the smuggest bitch in the world. Who knows what will happen.
I guess some insight on how I feel abt Roy and the PCs
I guess it doesn't really matter bc at this point in the campaign I've already made my actions and set myself as a villain. Whether or not you guys see me as one is a mystery and I'm both dreading and excited what your pinions on Roy will be as he's made his downfall into a villain.
It's funny, to be honest. With the way I wrote him, I always was going to make him progressively more hatable. He starts off as a trustworthy guy but you eventually find out that he was lying about his past to cover up for himself. He breaks the trust of the players and he uses them for his own progressive goal. But when I wrote him, I thought playing a character like this would be hilarious. I've played him exactly how I imagined, even better than I imagined, but I didn't think I'd feel so attached and heartbroken breaking your trust.
I think for the entire campaign I've believed that it was possible to save him.. maybe just talking to him and getting him to open up a bit more. It might have made all the difference. I'm not blaming my actions as Roy on the players not helping him, bc it definitely was Roy's fault, but I like to think of the alternate universe where I felt less lonely bc despite having friends and a boyfriend there was so many points where Roy just feels so alone and I just felt this deep pit in my chest from that lonliness. It's so dumb and stupid how much love I've put into Roy that I can feel what he feels.
And so all that fighting after Solardome when our friends got kidnapped, all the arguing and the stress and disagreements and then eventually Fox leaving and Ayce not interacting.. it was all just little pieces of sadness and loneliness trickling down and then by that point it was just too late to save him.. I like to think that maybe if it was a bit earlier then he could have got over it. Changed his mind, maybe.
Despite that all and desite feeling stressed and lonely and mad and everything that Roy ever felt, I've absolutely loved writing and playing this genuinely good person and seeing him turn rotten and become a villain on his own without realizing it. I never thought I would ever write a character go from the top and fall to bedrock, or even that I'd do it
well
, but he's so much. I think right now I love it. I love the drama I love the suspense and I love seeing what you'll all think of when you discover the Fall Of Roy.
Basically my Thoughts on Miss Winters
So the campaign moves on and I meet Miss Winters pretty shortly and we make a deal to "Discover How To Bring The Dead To Life". It was shortly after I met Ayce so I was aware it was possible. Roy absolutely had nothing to lose at this point, and he would do anything so he said yes. So for the duration of the campaign we helped each other trade information and most importantly look for a spirit stone.
At Solardome, the President Medeanne asked us to eradicate the witch and her skeletons and provide proof. And Roy wrecklessly put himself at the forefront without thinking. At that point I thought maybe she had lost her mind or something.
And then we unmasked her and she was dead. A rotted corpse.
And after making you all leave; I killed her.
Roy Endoza’s never had difficulty putting down the undead and so one more wasn’t a huge deal, but at the time it felt like such a loss because it was his only connection to information. In the end, it hadn’t of mattered because we retrieved a spirit stone anyway.
It was really only about a session or two later when I realized that I never actually killed Miss Winters. I only killed the corpse she was controlling and that real Miss Winters ran off with two spirit stones.
And so it took a LONG time (or at least in real time lmao) before we ended up going back to Origin, which was the only place I knew where to contact her and she was.. gone.
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more destiny oc stuff: avias past and yr 1 destiny timeline
totally inspired by @mrpinstripesuit‘s post last night, also featuring their guardians, also @nattiebug14 and @lostinthehaywoods oc’s carver and cornelia
(im making a lot of assumptions on how grier and avia met btw pin so if theres anything you disagree with or wanna change thats cool!!)
- petra and avia become part of the queens guard
- uldren takes an interest in avia, potential for her to become a crow, which she really, really doesnt want
- reef wars, petras sister dies, avia begins to question the awoken, why this happened
- petra grieves, avia is alone for the longest time and becomes frustrated, wondering what they're even fighting for
- petra is promoted to the corsairs and avia has mixed feelings. petra needs the direction but avia doesnt think a promotion will fix anything, also if avia was a corsair uldren would Leave Her Alone.
- tries to convince petra that everything is bullshit but petra just hears jealousy and treason
- uldren pulls her up on it, and that's when she knows she needs to Leave
- steals a harbinger at the first opportunity she gets
- gets out of the reef and into our solar system before the other harbingers find her
- it's a long ass fight, avia is able to evade them for the longest time until they shoot her engines out somewhere around the moon
- she dies. the harbingers leave. a ghost is born, shakes its shell, and starts searching.
- the remnants of her ship, with her nestled in the cockpit, break orbit of earth and crash land in the cosmodrome
- she's revived with her memory in tact and her heart broken to pieces
- she rejects her ghost and the light at first but her ghost is persistent and she gives in and follows him through the cosmodrome to find a ship
- they make it to the tower and she's so fucking scared. the awoken do not speak highly of the guardians.
- but her ghost leads her gently to cayde and he welcomes her jovially. doesn't much care for her past (only because he doesn't expect her to know it)
- going through the D1 story is what gives her the direction she needed and begins to ground her, making her realise she can be a better person than she ever was at the reef
- afterwards she admits to cayde that she remembers everything, after figuring out that it's not a Thing amongst guardians because she's Confused. he's supportive and passes her onto Ikora
- huge mistake
- she loves Ikora
- cayde is kind of sad about it (jk)
- Ikora tells her about the thananotauts and at the concept avia kind of puts her nose up to. it sound stupid and weird to her and refuses to explore it, like ‘oh hey actually I don't care that much I'll just keep being a guardian who has my memory as a bonus yay’
- avia kind of wanders around for a bit, patrolling and running strikes with guardians she never keeps in touch with. this is where she learns that she really, really doesnt get along with a lot of other hunters.
- petra comes to the tower as the queens emissary. avia doesnt recognise her at first but petra recognises her and its
- its not a good time for avia. petra tries to speak to her but avia bails all the way to venus and has a good old fashioned breakdown
- ikora calls her back and puts her on a mission to find tolands scattered journals. she fears the worst ones may still be out there and she doesnt want any wayward guardians finding them and abusing what power may lie within
- little does avia know she has another warlock, scarlet-2, searching for them as well.
- this is how scarlet and avia meet, with avia acting like a cat who caught their own reflection whenever scarlet is around
- scarlet doesnt much care even though this pint sized hunter constantly trying to one up her is. amusing.
- petra tries to approach avia again when shes in the tower with scarlet and the warlock very gently diffuses the situation, and has figured out by now that avia likes to Run Away and so she takes them to the cosmdrome
- avia doesnt give a lot of details, but basically explains the situation to scarlet and mentions that ikora wanted her to talk to the thananotauts and scarlets like ‘ew. you dont need to talk to them. they’re weird and desperate for answers youre fine the way you are.’
- and a friendship is born
- petra venj leaves the tower.
- a fireteam takes on the vault of glass, and avia is only slightly disappointed she wasnt there
- avia spends a lot of time with scarlet and by extension lots of other warlocks too. she becomes a running joke to the vanguard mentors that she chose the wrong class.
- so scarlet and eden met after twilight gap, they both helped build the wall and they became really close buddies. scarlet tells eden that she may have finally found a hunter for their fireteam and eden is so. excited.
- eris morn returns from the moon, and avia sees this funny little warlock awoken talking with her all. the damn. time.
- eden and avia meet, and avia is overwhelmed. she thinks that eden must be a new guardian and doesnt care to ask anything about her and wonders how the hell her and scarlet of all people are so close
- she doesnt really give the friendship a chance (although eden is patient and knows avias type all too well) until zavala asks eden to do routine sweeps of earth and the moon to make sure these blades of crota are kept at bay
- of course, eden drags avia along with her and it takes a wayward mention of building the wall for avia to get off her damn high horse and start taking eden seriously
- they dont really take part in the dark below campaign, just keep on top of the rise in hive activity whilst scarlet talks to ikora and eris and studies the hive at the tower, in the middle of one of her ‘not leaving the tower’ phases that eden tells avia about
- which causes avia to a) worry about scarlet and b) begin to realise shes starting to care for people
- emotions are weird you guys
- avia starts to ask eden about the wall, twilight gap, everything that came before she got to the tower. eden answers all her questions with a raw truthfulness, although she doesnt know the specifics and laughs that scarlet would be better to go to for the history of the guardians and such, but avia is just fine with what eden tells her
- and avia tells eden about her past, about dying but still remembering everything and petra. eden is very chill and happy for avia that shes somewhere better now, that shes trying to be better.
- yay now avia has TWO whole friends. they become an official fireteam and eden is far too excited about it.
- avia starts seeing that funny little awoken warlock less and less, and asks scarlet about him. she knows hes gone missing but kind of shrugs it off as a thing that warlocks do. avia says if scarlet ever does that avia will Hunt Her Down. scarlet just laughs.
- (she says this in earshot of ikora)
- crota is killed. again, avia wanted to be there. she needs more friends
- avia basically sticks like glue to scarlet and eden, kind of refusing to run strikes and missions with any other guardians which is a problem
- avia meets carver and cornelia through eden and scarlet but is still really prickly. her fireteam are at their wits end.
- ikora straight up forces avia on a mission with another warlock, and of course its the funny one who went missing a while back
- she sees something in ikoras eyes when they meet for the first time but knows better than to question it
- this. kid. is. a. handful.
- their mission is something hive related, a big risk on ikoras part but avia guides them through safely.
- ‘ooh a hive thing!’ ‘do we need to know about the hive thing?’ ‘no, but I-’ ‘then lets move on grier.’ ‘but-’ ‘now.’
- ‘youre mean, avia.’ ‘im also keeping us alive.’ ‘you dont have to be mean about it.’
- ‘fine, i will stop being mean if you start doing what i tell you to. deal?’
- idk i kind of imagine grier latching onto avia for reasons that i cant explain bc grier isnt my character but hes basically exactly what avia needs at this point in her life, a funny little warlock who gets under her skin.
- she massively underestimates him, reminding her of what she did with eden so she loosens up and gives him a chance.
- they run more missions and strikes together. she asks questions about his gun, his attire, why he likes the hive so damn much.
- he tells her about toland and the hive, and the weapons of sorrow whilst explaining bad juju. she makes a mental note to keep an eye on him whenever he uses it (and somewhere ikora smiles gently to herself. it scares cayde.)
- she tells him about the journals she found in the wild and he just :oooooooo asks a lot of questions about where and what was in them and what that could infer
- ‘wait avia, i thought you didnt care about hive stuff?’ ‘what? no, i just... dont like getting off track during missions.’ ‘oh. then does that mean you also actually like me and arent mean to me cause you dont?’
- she begins to find him quite endearing.
- he gets them out of a lot of jams during missions just from his practical know-how and shes impressed too.
- also asks a lot of questions about his sunsinger abilities and esp reviving himself. shes only ever seen scarlet be a voidwalker so sunsinger amazes her endlessly. she sees grier as a lot more powerful than he sees himself, and again, its totally endearing to her.
- he introduces her to rook and eve. avia steers clear of rook at first, even though she finds him handsome straight off the bat.
- they play a few iron banner matches together, a mixture of griers fireteam, hers and carver and cornelia. avia starts to develop a crush after realising how laid back and relaxed rook is.
- also how freaking good at crucible he is.
- he’s really easy to be around, she can be herself around him, around another hunter which is something she never thought she’d have. i imagine that means they talk about their class a lot seeing as avia never really did that with anyone else, or really cayde for that matter. it helps to get an insight into what being a hunter is all about from a guy who doesnt take it so seriously.
- the flirting starts, playful and nothing serious and we allllllll knowwwww where that leads to
- then the wolves revolt.
- before the tower even find out, she receives a message from petra, apologising. asking her questions about being a guardian, how she is. avia ignores it, the first of many.
- she Refuses to get involved.
- not even scarlet and eden can convince her. or ikora. or cayde.
- but grier comes back from the reef one day and looks really dejected and hurt and avia is just. who hurt you. what happened. and he explains that none of the awoken at the reef like him??? he thinks a couple of them looked at him weird he couldnt tell it was all confusing and avia kind of sighs and. explains some things.
- she tells him that she used to be Awoken and that she knew petra and basically tells him everything about her past whilst explaining that the Awoken have a very high opinion of themselves
- they go back to the reef together, but she still doesnt want to get involved in the uprising.
- she goes and patches things tentatively with petra another day. its a case of avia explaining how she became a guardian and petra explaining why she was forced to become an emissary after accidentally killing a team of guardians. its an amicable, but strained relationship. they basically realise that they were never friends, just competitors. theyre both happier where they are now.
- avia grows closer to grier to the point where they’re inseparable, she flirts with rook, runs missions and strikes with her fireteam and really starts to come into her own as a guardian
- she runs a lot of prison of elders with cornelia and carver and grows closer to them too, eventually apologising for being a little standoffish when they first met
- now avia has SO MANY FRIENDS and gets really emotional whenever she thinks about it
and then taken king and rise of iron happen and they deserve posts of themselves tbh but!!! avias D1 experience!!! i love this kid so much
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I finally got yusuke and makoto aaaa I am so happy Goddammit I wanna spend every day hugging the new best party members! But also I kinda wanna punch atlus for getting EVEN WORSE about the homophobia and transphobia seriously Its like every persona gets worse??? Its so fucked up cos persona 2 actually had a canonical gay romance and at the same time p3 and p4 came out we had digital devil saga with its unparalleled respectful portrayal of intersex and nonbinary characters. Like seriously how many writing teams work in the smt crew?? Were the open minded ones all fired midway through the PlayStation 2 era?? WHAT HAPPENED. How can a company even go backwards so much?? God its like... If both things are indeed written by the same groups of people then its like 'hey this game is MORE MAINSTREAM so we'd better throw lgbtq fans under the bus to try and get more popular lol' :p So yeah anyway there's these really friggin 1960s scare campaign level caricatured gay NPCs. They only exist in the red light district cos lol of course, and they only exist to be jokes about how you literally should not ever talk with or make eye contact with gay men because they will rape you. This is the 'funny' ending to the red light district side quest. Ryuji literally just WALKS PAST a gay couple and they suddenly decide to grab and rape him??? And its 'funny'??? Just cos they're drawn as ugly stereotypes and they talk like 'ooo darling u r so naughty always going for the underage straight boys ooo lol we're gonna convert you'. And then your protagonist is given no option but to let ryuji be dragged off and sexually harassed??? He didn't even do anything to 'comically' deserve this 'punishment', its not even funny within it's own narrative! And you just see him again the next day and he's like 'ha ha lol u left me to get raped, what a funny man you are' and its NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN?? just brushed away that he managed to escape them so its no big deal. And then these rapist stereotype NPCs continue to exist in that area forever so I can never be free of them ever time I wanna go to the damn fortune teller shop... Oh and the bartender is also a negative stereotype of trans women, she's drawn in the same cliché 'ugly style' they gave the fat schoolgirl in p4 and she has facial hair and a 'comical' masculine voice. And like.. God... I thought at least she escaped the worst of it cos she never gets any lines of dialogue in this side quest, but now random social links are mentioning her and like SERIOUSLY MISHIMA LEAVE HER ALONE! 'Oh man that interview with that reporter was awful cos the bartender was 'a drag queen' and I felt like 'he' was gonna rape me even though we barely even made eye contact' JUST STOP. GAME, PLEASE STOP. And UUUUUUGH all the 'lol it looks like a gay option but haha it will never be an option' teasing in yusuke's friendship scenes! There's none of that usual 'oh lol ur reading too much into it, he's totally straight' NO THE WRITERS FUCKIN KNOW WHAT THEY DID. You literally have one scene where the two of you get mistaken for a gay couple in the park and the passers by are all 'oh well nowadays people are kinky like that' as if its something lewd, and somehow its meant to be funny??? Its been a huge eye opener to me... I don't even think atlus is intentionally queerbaiting now, I was giving them too much credit to think they were actually trying to appeal to the queer market! I just think all the huge amounts of teasing a gay option is meant to be A JOKE to them. They think that people will laugh their heads off at merely mentioning that gay people exist, and everyone would ~obviously~ be totes grossed out and know that everyone is really straight. Why wouldn't they be! They're so straight that you can say they're gay and its a funny funny joke! Those silly queer folks taking it seriously! Those silly very large portion of our audience! Silly how persona 4 became so popular in that market! Silly how we're so fucking desperate we'll even buy something only vaguely teasing representation in a really insulting way! And silly how I've got so used to it that I'm already feeling like 'oh people will think I'm not a real fan if I criticize this, I'd better keep my mouth shut'... Gahhhhhhh YOU LITERALLY HAVE PEOPLE SAYING YUSUKE IS MY GAY OPTION THATS HOW MUCH THIS DUMB RECURRING 'JOKE' HAS ASCENDED INTO ABSURDITY HA HA LETS JUST STATE THAT GAY PEOPLE EXIST MAYBE YOU CAN DATE THIS CHARACTER BUT NOPE WHAT A FUNNY WHAT A PUNCHLINE WHAT A MINIMUM EFFORT FUCKING MESS ... gah sorry I'm shutting up now Anyway I like yusuke a lot and I really fucking wish he was an option. Or at least they wouldn't outright mock me for wanting it. Also Ann x makoto is already hitting me hard and she's barely been in the party for five seconds. They just had a really heartwarming side plot of going from enemies to best friends and they have so much in common and all the boys are constantly being perverted assholes to Ann so she needs to end up with someone better. Seriously this game even goes out of its way yo have like a month long 'joke' of yusuke being mistaken for perving on ann when he's actually not interested in her and doesn't even know what he did wrong! Somehow even the one boy who isn't hitting on her has to somehow hit on her???? And ha ha 'comedy' equals 'hey Ann you have to strip naked in front of a stranger that we all think is a rapist, it is The Only Way'. Fucking glad yusuke turned out to not be that awful, but still it made me so uncomfortable geez... Did the whole Palace in like two days just to get it over with... ... Okay NOW I am done complaining! This is also why I love finally getting another female character, and one that doesn't have to wear a super sexualized battle outfit and do stupid poses that seem completely out of character. Seriously Ann freaks out and tries to cover her chest the first time she transforms, and she just has to.. Deal with it?? And the phantom thief uniforms are meant to be based on your soul so why is it even possible for someone to not be comfortable wearing it? Is it meant to be some kind of stupid 'lol she is repressed and secretly she wants to dress sexy even if she says she doesn't' sort of thing...? Wouldn't have been uncomfortable if she actually seemed like she chose the damn boob suit :P Okay Okay NOW I am done I just had to get out all my complaints cos a lot of this game made me very happy and I hate how some very small scenes have so much impact they threaten to ruin that :P Also I REALLY WANT TO DATE YUSUKE Fuck u game for suggesting I date him if you ain't gonna deliver KEEP YO MOUTH SHUT *goes back to sitting grumpily in a swan boat*
#bunni plays p5#seriously i swear i am enjoying it#it was just a nasty surprise#its like 'hello telegram from 5 decades ago! i brought my stereotypes!'#gtfo dr who this is not what th trdis is for
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