I'M DONE AHHH @gniteruirui

gonna open the window, it's kinda hot in here

close up their faces

Who would win: smut writer vs writing smut

I feel like there's a lot of narrative points of interest when it comes to Lae'zel, specifically that her rudeness comes from a place of her culture and that she arguably has the most reason to be mad, she's literally immersed in a different culture on a different plane, but I feel like in fandom's attempts to combat some of the sexist dislike of her disregard that and turn it into "haha yes be mean and step on me". Like absolutely be horny for Lae'zel, hell yeah!! But I feel like whereas Shadowheart and Astarion's rudeness gets investigated and discussed by fandom, not a lot of people are doing the same for Lae'zel. Like.....turning her into your dommy mommy is not character analysis. It's fun fandom discussion! But it's not analysis and is honestly really diminishing of her character.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

text paraphrased from this podcast at [1:18:45–1:19:00]

i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of

briefly leaving my cave to throw a wip here

I've been feeling weird with my art and life in general so I took refuge reading and playing stardew valley for the past few weeks. The weirdness isn't completely gone but it's not as haunting as before.

Anyway, please have this snippet of my beloved baby Revan being her broody teenage self. It's nowhere near to be finished but I'm having fun with the process.

With that said, hello to the new (actual!) people who have stopped by this mess of a blog and decided to stay. And to everyone who is still around, a big pat on the head. Thank you all so much <3

i need 2 stop drawing static stuff . white bg . front facing pose. <will do it again

i often read the haunting of hill house around this time of year and i always think to myself ah cozy spooky fall read maybe i can spread it out over a few nights just to get in the mood for halloween surely its not as bad as i remember just a wee little whore story :) but cheesus on crackers it scares the shit out of me every time

I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day

did my roommate leave without turning off the light

This is totally not just cause of it being my special interest at the moment but! I really think you would like Fire Emblem Three Houses! It's how I'm getting into the series and has a lot of great characters I think you'd like

i have been meaning to try three houses for Ages i just keep forgetting and playing other things instead :') i'll keep this in mind though i was kind of confused about which one i should start with!

I did silly halloween pictures post-halloween But now

I did 2 others with a spice of ;) in them because......eh why not? (usually the reason for anything i do)

customer service is wild

So, like...I have finally reached the point in my Trauma Healing Journey when I'm discovering that while I am still a bit mentally ill and very neurodivergent I'm nowhere near as bad as I was/thought I was.

Turns out a lot of the worst of my mental demons was just bad living situations.

And that is a truly baffling and wonderful discovery at 35 years old. That I'm still mostly okay. The wiring inside will never be normal but I'm mostly okay. And I'm finally in a place where I'm getting better.

[sits upright in bed as though waking from some prophesied dream] rau.ru as flavour text

anyway i loved the eggpire characters and story and i loved everything techno did and i loved the syndicate and i loved the way jack manifold portrayed his character