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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

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Is it weird that I watch gay porn with straight guys fucking each other and gay transmen getting fucked too?

It's like when I watch a guy with a big, plump white or black ass, with some oil and hair on top of it....

I lowkey start thinking about fucking his ass too?

I lowkey find it strange, but then again I'm pan...

Asses look good on anyone. Even though I would never admit some objectifying shit like that in person.

It's like I immerse my clit as the dick that's getting sucked and fucked on.

Then I cancel out after I cum 🤣😇🥲

Lol like wtfff is wrong with me guys? I mean there are guys who like to get pegged, so I wonder do these women who strap on guys, think about the same thing that I do....

I feel really guilty because I keep saying idk if I'm ready to try dating another bisexual guy or another transman because of me getting heart broken by one.

But I still miss em' despite everything. It's just on and off, I hate you, I miss you....just like our relationship....

It was hot and cold with those 2 toxic mfs.😕

I just wanna have my chance to dominate a guy and get fucked rough and deep. Man or Woman and everyone else under the rainbow too.

I know most pansexuals will say that they don't have a gender preference, but I'm slowly starting to see where my eye keeps getting drawn to the most. And I think it has something to do with the people I messed with already.

I still miss them and maybe I shouldn't overthink it.

But it is disturbing how I keep swiping right on white guys and girls or even mixed chicks that look like Jay either as their nonbinary stage with light brown curly hair Upton, or their pre-trans stage with long curly hair or straight hair. It's the big cat nose, the eyes, the Eyebrows, the glasses, and of course the jawline and the lips, and the strong lip Bridge, all with a soft face, chubby, and the soft white skin and ass.

It's not that many out there that remind me of them, but I've talked to a few smart asses, just like them, that was a pretty close call for me. Cause Jay was pretty. I just want to keep all the good qualities about them, and take out all the bad, the mental trauma, the abusive behavior, and just have a nicer, quiet, less selfish version of Jay who actually smiles and not mean and cranky all the time.

I did match with one who's name was Ryan. And he had the soft round face, light brown curly hair, and the nose, and the lips. I was so freaking close we just clicked right off the bat and had sexted each other on snap. We were so freaking horny and excited. He was really enamored with my boobs in my bikini pic so I sent him those and he kept sending me his luscious pink dick. I haven't had real dick in a longgggg time like not since 2020, it was my ex, and I gave him head.

I still like strap.on too. Don't get me wrong.

But anywho Ryan's Canadian kept saying he wanted to come to America once the border opened back up to take me out to dinner and I said yeaaa I would so be into.fucking you in the bathroom, cause I love public sex. And this was before we started. I made sure to ask are you really coming or is this an online setting thing?

He said no, I really wanna give you this white dick in your mouth.

So I was even more turned on. We kept going snapping pictures. He wanted ass and titty pics. And then he sends me stuff of his dick getting harder and harder which I liked. He said he was 7 in....holy fuck. Wayyyy bigger than my ex Terrell.

But then when I sent ooh I want it on my clit, he stops answering after his last message was oh you want me to rub your clit. And then he goes I came so hard.

He left, yall....while I was still masturbating to this Wigga wtffff?

I even sent a question mark ❓like hellooo selfish ass what about me????

I check back on my phone and the snap I sent was still on delivered and it was 2hrs ago...

I see he posted a story...

I OPEN IT TO SEE HIM POST A VIDEO OF HIS FREAKING CAT JUST POSING ON HIS BED

AND THIS WAS ONE HOUR AFTER I SENT HIM MINE SHIT...

LIKE WOWWWW I HATE BEING PLAYED AND I HATE BEING IGNORED ESPECIALLY WHEN IM BUTTASS NAKED WAITING ON YOU TO TELL ME TO POKE IT OUT FOR DADDY MORE WTFFFFFFFFFFF

Rude ass, inconsiderate bitch.

So you know what, I checked to see when the Canadian border opens back up, it said August 8th.

BITCH THEY ALREADY OPENNN WITH YO LYING ASS!!! WHY EVEN LIE TO SAY YOU COMING???

WE COULD HAVE JUST HAD PHONE SEXXXX

Last message he got from me before I unfriended him on snap right after I saw red flag 1, ignoring me to post a cat video....#2 Canada border actually is open..

I said "Fine, I understand. I'll unadd you."

That's so.fucking selfish, I helped you cum, so help me finish idiot! That's exactly the shit I won't tolerate no more. Waiting on bitches to text me back when it's obvious they don't care, trying to be ms. Nice girl and give him 3 days....nooooooo

I ain't falling for that shit no more. I'm glad I unmatched his ass too right after.

Pissed me the fuck off, I started having flashbacks of when Jay and Terrell did that shit to me, ignoring texts and pushing me away, not giving a fuck about plans we both already agreed to. Blowing me off like I'm the idiot, I'm the sweet child that will always love them no matter how rude, impulsive, and impossibly disrespectful they were.

The 1st time I had phone sex with Jay, Jay cums and then I said what about me? Jay goes "just take a cold shower. I don't care if you cum"

I was so mortified at how cold, rude, selfish and disrespectful Jay was. Jay said the only person they care about Cumming is Ayunna. And this was wayyy earlier on before they actually did start caring if I came or not...but still that's shitty and poor etiquette.

Just like the real shitty version of Jay. That frugal McDooggle used me and lied to me.

He didn't give a fuck just like they didn't. It made me cry a little cause I was really looking forward to some dick with somebody that at least was chubby, white, and soft like Jay. And he had blue light eyes. I still like Jay's sandy brown eyes tho.

It just sucked....and yea you really shouldn't expect respect from an internet hoe like Ryan.

Kiss my ass Ryan, you'll never taste this ass and titties.

These H's are mine I tell you! Fuck yoooooouuuu.

I will admit, there was this girl by the name of KC, she doesn't seem as interested, but we talked on snap after matching on okc. She likes to read Stephen King books. So I asked her what are you reading now, cause I like smart girls like that. She said it's called The Stand. Talking about a virus that infects the world. It was nice to read that 1st chapter and connect with the character, Stu, who dealt with grief from his wife and mom who both had cancer. I started thinking about Grandma alot tho 😔 in not the most happy sense. The scene felt dark like as if more is to come.

I wonder did Stephen King lose somebody to cancer or was he feeling sick himself. It's got 56 chapters and I did say I would try reading it more. Thank God they had the 1st part of the book on Google preview.

I'm the type to dive in when I meet someone new. I like figuring them out. But so far, I noticed she hasn't texted me back with questions and stuff as much so she's really dry and probably still not sure what she wants rn...she said she's just going with the flow but I think it's a sign she's lonely but wants to see what's outside 1st before she leaves the safety of her world.

She works in retail too at a grocery store. So we connected a bit on that too. It's weird when I'm the more talkative one asking all the questions....thats not a good sign. Ppl who are interested in you, ask you stuff they wanna know too. And I did step back to give her chances to step in....so yea imma keep looking on tinder and okc.

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conorpmaynard · 7 years

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All Started With a Song Part 7// Conor Maynard

Word Count- 1852

Summary- conor sees your cover and contacts you

A/n- (feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that may times) so sorry it took so long. i was at my friends and couldnt get time to post. heres part 7. i hope you enjoy. im also not going to lie ot you guys, i have no idea when part 8 will be up. this is laos the longest imagine ive written so far!

You groaned as you rolled over in your bed, the loud noise filling your ears. Your alarm was going off. You slowly reached your hand out from under the blankets and shut it off. You were so tired but you knew you needed to get up. It was currently midnight. You needed to pack everything into the car, get to the airport and get everything checked in by 2:30.

You reluctantly got out of your oh-so-warm bed and walked to the guest room.

“Ali, get up. We have to get ready,” you whispered, lighting shaking the brunette.

You walked to the other side of the bed, “Livy, c’mon. We have to get ready.”

“Why did we stay up last night? We’re so dumb,” Alice groaned, sitting up.

“I regret it so much,” Olivia whined, pulling the blanket over her head.

You laughed lightly, grabbing the blanket and ripping it off the bed.

“You bitch! What did I ever do to you?!” Olivia shrieked.

“Get up you lazy bums. I’m making breakfast,” you said walking out to the kitchen.

“By making do you mean getting the cereal and bowls out?” Alice smiled, following you.

“And the milk!” you retorted.

“Hey Liv, can you bring me some Ibuprofen? My head is killing me,” Alice lightly shouted. A few moments later the blonde came out with a bottle of pills.

“Why did we do that last night?” She groaned.

“Because we’re dumb and immature,” you laughed.

“Not so loud please,” Alice whispered, swallowing 2 of the pills.

“Sorry,” you gave her a smile. “Maybe some Cheerios will help.” You passed her a bowl full of her favorite cereal.

“Oh my god,” she moaned as she took a bite. “God is real.”

You and Olivia laughed.

“Did we take any videos from last night?” you asked, handing Olivia her bowl.

“Let me check,” she took a spoonful of cereal while opening her camera roll. “Oh. My. God.”

“What?” you and Alice asked in unison.

“Look,” she had a weird look on her face when she handed you her phone.

You looked at the screen, mouth wide open.

You were stood on your bed, in an old t shirt and booty shorts. You were clearly drunk and very happy.

“Y/n!” shouted Alice. “Give your bae a quick shootout!”

“Yeah!” Olivia giggled, her grip on the phone shaky.

“I don’t have a bae,” you said sadly. “But I will give a shout out. Shout out to Conor Maynard for being a grade A asshole.” You hoisted the bottle of beer in your hand into the air. “You really know how to treat a girl. Hope your mommy’s proud of you.” You kneeled on the bed and got really close to the camera.

“Oh, and I think I might love you…” you said quietly. And then the video ended.

You stood there, not realizing the tears that had shed down your cheeks.

“Oh babe,” Olivia wrapped you in a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t feel bad. I was drunk, I said something I didn’t mean.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would believe you. “We’re going to LA in a few hours, we should be happy!”

“Speaking of that, we should really get ready.”

“Oh crap,” Alice said looking at the clock. “It’s already 12:45.”

You three quickly washed your dishes and rushed to the bathroom. You guys spent the next 45 minutes getting ready, jamming out to music and packing your essentials into your carry ons.

By 1:30 you three were stood at your door, making sure you had everything.

“Carry ons?” you asked.

“Check!”

“Check,” Olivia placed her hands around the straps of her backpack.

“Phone and charger?”

“Got them both,” Alice said phone in hand.

“Where’s your charger?” you asked.

“In my bag.”

“Prove it.”

She sighed, “Yes mom.” She took her backpack off, opening the front pocket to reveal her various chargers.

“Olivia?”

“Check and check, “she had her charger in one hand, phone in the other.

“Makeup?”

“We packed all of it into yours.”

“Oh right. I have the necessities, Liv has the snacks and you have the activities,” you pointed at Alice who nodded.

“Suit case?”

“You can see them!” Olivia chuckled.

“I’m just going through the list we made!”

“Computers?”

“Yes! We both have them! Can we please go now?”

“Yes! Let’s go!!” you squealed, shooing them out the door. You placed the key in the lock and turned it. “Hold on, I need to do one more thing.”

“What?”

You ignored their questioning looks as you walked across the hallway, knocking on the door. The door opened faster than any of you expected.

“Mornin’,” said the very attractive young male who just happened to be shirtless.

“Hey Alex, here’s the key. Feel free to eat any food you find and use my Netflix.” You smiled, handing him the key.

“No problem,” he smiled, leaning against the door for support. “What exactly am I doing again?”

You chuckled, “Just making sure no one breaks in.”

“Right,” he straightening himself. “I can do that.”

“Thanks again,” you reach up and kissed him on the cheek. “I owe you.”

He smirked and closed the door. You turned around to two girls gawking at you.

“What the hell was that?” Olivia asked.

“That’s my neighbor Alex,” you said, grabbing your suitcase and beginning the long walk to the elevator.

“Why have you never mentioned him?” Alice asked, following you.

“Never came up, I guess,” you shrugged, approaching the elevator.

“Can we also talk about how its Alex. As in Jack Maynard’s friend Alex.” Olivia trailed off.

You laughed, pressing the elevator button, “It’s not a big deal guys. He doesn’t really socialize with anyone but the boys.”

“Have you guys hung out?” Alice pestered, following you into the elevator.

“Once, but it was when I first moved it last year. He was nice, but then had to leave cuz Abe needed help with someone. We just never clicked,” you shrugged once more.

“Why are you not freaking out?” Olivia questioned.

“Because I wasn’t going to use him to get to Conor, so why try? Yeah he’s nice and stuff, but I’m not that kind of person. Also he’d find out sooner or later that I’m a fan of him and his best friends.”

“You have a point, but I would have been all over that,” Alice laughed.

“Do you want his number?” you joked.

“You have it?” she gawked.

“No,” you laughed. “I just wanted to see your reaction.”

It took you girls a solid 10 minutes to figure out how to get everything in the car, it was like a giant version of Tetris.

The car ride was full of out-of-tuned singing and dirty looks from people who were stuck at the stoplight next to you.

When you finally got to the airport you parked in the long term parking and walked inside. It took about 20 minutes to get through security. You had to stop and beg the security to let you take the snacks on the 11 hour flight, which they eventually allowed.

You stopped by a Starbucks because you were all running on about 2 hours of sleep.

“Guys look!” Olivia smiled, pointing out the large windows that displayed all the airplanes.

“Let’s get a picture!” you giggled.

“Hi, could you please take a few photos of us?” Alice asked a teenage girl.

“Sure!” she smiled a big toothy smile and took the phone.

You guys took some facing away from the camera, some facing the camera and some sitting on the ground. After thanking the girl, you exchanged pictures.

While you were sat at Gate 4 waiting for your flight to LA, Conor was an absolute mess.

“I fucked up mate,” Conor sighed, spreading across the couch.

“And I don’t feel bad,” Jack said annoyed. Conor did this to himself.

“What do I do?” he asked his younger brother.

“Let her go. Bro you lost her, just accept that.” His brother sighed, pausing the game to give Conor his full attention

“I can’t,” Conor sat up, squeezing a pillow tight to his chest. “I like her a lot.”

“Then why did you ‘forget’?” Jack asked, using the finger quotes when necessary.

“Because I was jealous, I wanted to make her jealous. But I regret it,” he groaned, slamming his head into the pillow.

“If you regret it, why did you unadd her on everything?”

“I don’t know, I was upset that I just let her leave.”

“Bro, you’re so fucking stupid.” And with that Jack got up and went to his room.

Leaving Conor by himself while he was sad was a bad idea. He always did things he would later regret. And this time was no different, he opened his phone and went to Instagram. One lil peek wouldn’t hurt.

Yes it would.

He typed in your username and noticed you had a new picture. The picture was of you and two girls, the same two girls from your previous post, in front of a giant window of what looked like an airport. All three of you were in a squatting position. Alice and Olivia had their fingers pointing at the camera and you were in the middle, hands in prayer formation.

His eyebrows knit together in confusion as he read the caption.

@y/i/n/

spontaneous vacay with my besties? i think yes!

Where were you going? Why? Who were you going to see there? What were you going to do? He clicked the picture and went to the brunette’s, Alice, page. He was even more upset after seeing her post.

@aliiibooo

a spoon full of travel makes the sadness go away

Her picture was off you three, once again in front of the giant window. But this time you were in the middle, one arm wrapped around each girl. Alice was throwing up a peace sign and the blonde, Olivia, had her hand on your face, squishing your cheeks together. He once again clicked on the picture, this time going to Olivia’s page.

Her post was of you three facing away from the camera. Conor couldn’t see your face but he knew you looked beautiful.

@oliviaaaaaa

LA, we’re coming for ya ;)

California? Why were you going to California? What was in California that wasn’t in London?

Lots of things you idiot.

Conor was half tempted to message you about it. But then he got a call.

Incoming call: Anth

Anth? Why was Anth calling him?

“Hey bro, what’s up?” Conor asked, curiosity filling him as he laid back on the couch.

“Before I tell you anything, you have to promise not to get mad or do anything stupid,” Anth said slowly.

“What are you on about?” Conor chuckled.

“Promise me,” there was no laughter in Anth’s voice.

“Okay… I promise. Now tell me what’s going on,” he sat up again.

“Y/n is coming to LA to do a cover with me,” Anth said quickly, fear consuming him.

It took Conor a few seconds to respond but Anth never expected him to say what he did.

#jack maynard #Conor Maynard #conor maynard imagine #Joe Sugg #caspar lee #josh pieters #Oli White #mikey pearce #buttercream squad #buttercream #buttercream imagines #youtube #youtube imagines #imagine #imagines

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