#HI SNEEB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monstermaster13 · 1 year

Text

Don’t Be A Moron On The Internet.

Once there was a league of really horrible people known as the League of Idiots, these guys belonged to a website called Moron-Barn, a website ‘dedicated’ finding out lulcows and making them look like idiots when in actually they were the idiots, sometimes picking on people that didn’t deserve it in the slightest such as Mariana Hanks who they kept shaming and misgendering even though she had the right to use male pronouns because there was no rule that said she couldn’t use those pronouns.

The members consisted of PutridKid…an ex super-sidekick who was a grotesque subhumanoid with puke based powers, Baconator whose only power was turning into bacon that was extremely burned, Rock-Hard-Arby whose only abnormal trait was that he was cursed to have skin that constantly cracked like it was made of marble, and Skroat Sneeb…who had only had one power and that power was very much just being a walking sex joke. These guys very much hated Mariana for being different and picked on her for being interested in weird things, their biggest forum thread was nothing but old screencaps of her comments that they took out of context.

One night Mariana decided she had enough of being treated like well…you know, by them and decided she wanted to get revenge so she called on the powers of darkness, the darkness influenced her and turned her into a being that could punish them for their actions, she used her supposed real form to fool them, looking as gross and ugly as possible. After posting a screencap from last year, Skroat was about to find out just how wrong he was…’This post from a year ago is from a video that is a repost of a video that doesn’t exist any more but that doesn’t stop me from saying how I like that she admits to being crazy yet she gets offended at being mispronouned. Male is a sex.’

Skroat of course was ignorant and he didn’t think that it was right for a woman to use male pronouns, but because he had been taught to be a biggot by the others. ‘You’re a woman, yet you use male pronouns?’ ‘There is no law against that but there should be one against you.’ Mariana responded. ‘Well too bad, huh?’

That’s when he knew he screwed up, as Mariana’s eyes glowed a supernatural greenish glow and she transformed into her actual real form which was more attractive. ‘Gotcha. That short, dumpy hairy form of mine…yeah, that is a disguise to distract you from what i’m actually like.’ ‘So that ugly form is a disguise?’

She smirked as she looked over at him…’Since you like to misgender me and you think that digging up my past is cool, how would you like to see what it’s like to be female? Since you’re not going to do anything good with your current form how about I give you my ugly form?’ ‘What do you mean by that?’ before he had the chance to even react he heard a gurgling sound coming from his stomach which inflated and developed some hairs on it, as the hairs travelled up his arms which also broadened as his hands shrank in shape but also became a bit meatier as his fingernails lengthened.

The hairs also spread onto his legs which contorted into a more womanly pair as two round formations slowly blossomed on his chest which formed into bossoms that were at least more than two triple C cups, and he also gained some pimples on his back, as he gained some furo n his body as well.

He groaned as his rear plumped up, splitting his ratty jeans down in the middle and making them into shorts as his feet shrank and enlarged, he knew now that he messed up and he tried to take back his words, but now the words of ‘if she didn’t comment on it, she would have been forgotten very easily’ were echoing in his mind and making his mind react to this, now the male pronoun ‘he’ didn’t seem right to ‘her’. She groaned as her shoulders retracted in size and her neckline altered, her hair turning from its ratty auburn color to a dark brown and growing messier as she developed pimples on her face while her eyebrows thickened and her nose enlarged, her skin became softer and paler too.

She didn’t recognize herself anymore…as she found herself starting to think that she was Mariana and this was natural, ‘Skroat’ sounded like a name someone who was trying to be gross was using, ‘Mariana’ looked at herself for a bit as her features warped to look like the real Mariana’s ugly form. Her privates retracted but she didn’t need those anyway, sex was never an issue to her as her voice changed, and developed a British accent.

She looked a bit like a humanoid gorilla but she didn’t mind, she didn’t care for beauty, she was now Mariana and she was okay with that. Meanwhile the real Mariana turned to PutridKid who seemed to be hyperfixated on cows…’Oh you like cows, huh? Well then..how do you like this?’

Mariana clicked her fingers and as she did, PutridKid noticed that creme-ish fur was creeping up his arms which were bulking up, and then he felt a tingling sensation in his hands as his fingers hardened and fused together, resembling flexible hooves more than hands as his stomach enlarged, causing several of the buttons on his shirt to pop up and one of his jean buttons also popped off too as his legs enlarged.

“Am I turning into a cow?”

“Well actually not just any cow…a certain cartoon cow.”

He gulped as his privates retracted and he saw four nipples of sorts forming below his stomach which formed into teets, which formed into an udder which burst the front of his jeans open, exposing his new udder to everyone. His whole body slowly gained weight with each passing minute, making him heavier and heavier and making his clothing tighter and tighter, finally..with a rip his pants tore off, exposing his much rear and udder to everyone who was watching him and laughing.

But that wasn’t all through, he noticed his legs altering too as his socks ripped open to allow his feet to alter, becoming hooved feet to match his hands as a tail like that of a cow emerged from his rear. He panicked as two brown spots formed on his back. Two short yellow horns emerged out of the top of his head as his ears became bovine-like, his eyes widened as his face slowly pushed into a bovine muzzle…even though he was a cow, he could still talk and was intelligent, but his voice altered and changed…to sound like Charlie Addler doing a female voice, as he or rather ‘she’ at this point knew who she was becoming, she was becoming Cow from the Cartoon Network show Cow and Chicken.

PutridKid…or rather…just ‘Cow’ now cried out but she found it wasn’t so bad as she forgot all about being a part of Moron-Barn and just remembered being a lovable sister to ‘Chicken’ and a ‘fairy princess’. ‘I am sorry for what I did. I didn’t know.’ ‘It’s alright, you made a mistake and bet on the wrong side.’ Mariana turned towards Baconator, who seemed to be trying to demean her.

“Oh so you like trying to roast me, do you?”

“Uhhhh…I don’t know, yeah…I do.”

‘Well since you like roasting pigs so much, how about you actually become one?’ She concentrated her dark powers on him and she did, Baconator found himself bloating up as his skin turned a much pinker than normal tone, he looked at his chest and he reached out to touch it only to found two round formations slowly developing on them, blossoming out into what was commonly known as breasts.

He panicked as he looked at his hands which had softened, his whole body plumped up as his clothing contorted into a glamorous blue gown and a mink coat as his hips flared out, his back arched as his hips flared out and his feet slowly became two-toed trotters that could still fit in shoes, as his shoes became a pair of red sandals. He panicked even more as his privates retracted. But the panic began to subside when he heard the word ‘Piggy’ in his head, which made him think differently about this situation, or rather ‘Miss Piggy’ because he began to think he was this ‘Miss Piggy’ in question.

His neckline altered as his hair lengthened, turning from brown to blonde and growing down to his shoulders as his ears shifted to look like those of a pig, eyelashes blossomed around his eyes as eyeshadow was applied around them and his eyes in general turned blue, his nose enlarged and began to reshape itself…his face pushing into a cute sort of half porcine snout/muzzle as his voice feminized, inside his mind the name ‘Miss Piggy’ was echoing and now that’s when he realized, he wasn’t born a he…but a ‘she’, she was now Miss Piggy, then again she had always been Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy looked at the clothes in her ‘former self’s’ wardrobe and threw them out. ‘Ick, how passe and gouache. I can’t imagine anyone wearing these in public.’

When her transformation finished she felt much better and she apologized to Mariana..’That was terribly rude of me to judge you based on what you like. Please forgive moi.’ ‘No worries, I forgive you.’ Mariana hugged them and then used a spell to vanquish the forum thread all about her to the forum graveyard, where it was buried and then taken all the way up to forum thread heaven where it was allowed to rest in peace and move on.

“Thank you for understanding…”

‘And now there’s one more thing left…’ Mariana concentrated as she shifted in form once again, this time turning into Demi Moore and using a spell to erase her ugly form to make it so she never had that form. ‘This is much better. I hated that ugly form anyway, it was too short and I couldn’t show off how awesome I am in that form, too short and hairy for my liking. Now this is way sexier, this is my new natural form. But that doesn’t mean I cannot be male if I want to, oh no.’

And thus with that Mariana had finished what she had set out to do as the rest of the MoronBarn admins and members eventually found out what appeared to their ex-members and got transformed as well, rumor has it that some of them went into hiding afterwards after the site got found out and reported for being a den of harassment and everything-LGBTQIA-phobia, and another rumor has it that the head admin in charge of the site already had left this universe long before it started.

Like with all stories here comes a vital lesson, remember..if you ever try to dig up a dead forum thread by using screencaps that are of a post from a year ago and if you ever try to attack anyone for identifying as another gender or even another species, there will be hell to pay, anyone can use any pronoun, a man can use ‘she’ and a ‘woman’ can use he or even they, and there is no law that says that he or she can’t use pronouns that fit them.

0 notes

problematicwelshman · 5 years

Note

part of what i like about sneeb tho is how he sorta lacks a sense of propriety lol. i dont think hes particularly well adjusted but hes doing his best & if cringey fanservice is his drug of choice, well ok then. at least hes also genuinely fannish himself, its not like hes cynically cashing in. I bet he was tickled as anyone by that mashed image & while that might be odd and concerning at least its genuine. no offense to PR anon but perfect glossy PR isnt the be all end all of celebrity. (1/3)

its not like he doesnt know this abt himself. he literally said now that hes not forced to hv a career “with integrity” hes super pumped to do lots of stupid quiz shows. hes also said (paraphrasing) “its unfortunate I’m so sensitive to embarrassment bc I have a tendency to do terribly embarrassing things” lol. the cringey twitter engagement is currently showcasing his dysfunction(s) but they were already there. this is the guy who had a (unprotected??) random holiday hookup after all (2/3-sorry)

nothing against hookups but over the hols while visiting the city his daughter lives in? That is not a very happy person imo. hypersexuality is not pretty but its a legit condition w legit root causes: illness, trauma, etc. Sorry if this is getting too serious now!! anyhoo, basically im ok w sneeb bein cringey on main. i wish him the best & hope he finds a path to address the roots of the cringe for his OWN sake. but until then, glossing it over w PR is not a priority for me. (3/3 ok im done ha)

————————–

I’m sure he’s got some deep issues or trauma and maybe feels pressured to be some kind of champion for certain groups or communities but I think what PR anon and myself are kind of alluding to is that because he lacks that sense of propriety and perhaps as you said maybe isn’t well adjusted and acts a certain way or uses sex (or twitter) as a coping method, there absolutely should be someone acting as a buffer or middle-man to make those things less obvious. He’s a celebrity after all. Image is everything. That’s quite literally his bread and butter. I’m sure HE doesn’t care about his image but in today’s cancel culture crazed society all it takes is one thing to get completely blown out of proportion to end someone’s career and then nobody will want him on their goofy quiz or panel shows. It’s more or less a “better safe than sorry” convo we’re having. Like I really honestly don’t care if he’s on twitter wilding with fans, he just needs to be careful and reel it in a tad. One example of playing with fire on twitter that comes to mind was someone saying something about getting a tattoo of him on their ass and he jokingly said show the class your work (or something along those lines) without knowing if they were even of age. THAT’S the kind of territory that gets a liiiiitttle dicey. I’m not trying to make him sound problematic though.

#Anonymous

12 notes · View notes