wtf i was outside when i saw the crowley dump and i couldnt see the images properly bc there was tm sun. im inside now and i can see everything. crowley. my sweet baby. you are not crying. you cannot be crying. ill fucking kill you get those tears back in!!!! aziraphale are yiu GUCKITN KIDDING ME EHAT ARE YOU DOJNG TO HIM(me)

second course: 2

i just walked outside and someone stole my fucking seat post off my bike 😭😭

i've been rereading weak hero season 2 since the latest chapter dropped and i have some things to say about donald

spoilers under the cut

okay first of all i am so fucking pissed at seopass😭😭i can't really say much about the storytelling aspect of choosing to allow donald to die but honestly it does feel very sudden and just unfair to his character. perhaps the suddenness is my reaction because all this time it seemed like he just couldn't die, then he had had the whole arc in the final battle where we finally see a vulnerable side of him and get his full backstory, then all of a sudden he dies?? it just feels so incomplete, like the build up was for nothing🙁🙁🙁.

second of all, i'm only realising just how sad his backstory is now that i'm rereading it.

it's not just about his mother being ill, his father being abusive, and being bullied in school but also the loss of innocence in young donald. at first he was so sweet and cute, but by the time he's thirteen, he's also got a whole baby gang going, beating people up and even doing breaking and entering in one instance, taking his step father's money. then he exposes the dirt on his ex teacher and had myles joo and his boys beat him up, and smash his car outside of the school.

it also reminds me of how much donald has grown- now he would never b&e or smash an adult's car so recklessly (though ofc he did it originally knowing he couldn't get the police called on him). though still heavily involved with delinquents, violence and crime, his methods have refined as he grew, and you can see him become more calculated and less uncouth. despite the maturity of his actions at 13, in a way they're still childish, and it's a reminder that even if he's acting tough he's still a baby🙁🙁

while i was glad to watch those people get their comeuppance, i honestly felt so heartbroken watching their callous and flippant nature to crime. like, he literally has a baby face!!! he's like 5'0!!! and he's here stomping people in alleyways and committing burglary?!!! it reminded me of kaz brekker from SOC for some reason, who was innocent and naive till he had to grow up at 12 or 13 and started hustling people in gambling dens and getting in trouble with the law.

it hurts to watch how cruelly he was treated by his teachers and his schoolmates because of his poverty, and how no one did anything about it because it was just normal to them that in a school full of rich kids, it was just a given that donald was considered less than trash. then at night he was kicked out by his step father so he could cheat and drink and he had to wander around yeongdeungpo all on his own in the cold, hungry, and huddle under an apartment block?? ARE YOU JOKING😭😭

he changed so much due to the circumstances of his situation and he grew into something no one should ever have to. he isn't just strong and smart and always five steps ahead becaude of his natural talent (though that definitely helped), but because he had to be. doing badly has never been a choice for him. he needs it to survive. i've always liked donald, and i've always suspected this about his character, but hearing it be confirmed just makes me like him more.

it's so sad realising how everything about him was manufactured to fit his image- his piercings, his hair, his clothes, his tattoos, his image, the way he talks- he didn't even LIKE any of them, but they just became a part of who he was nevertheless. thinking about the way he found his tattoos repulsive when they were all over his body, and were the first things he saw whenever he looked in the mirror must've been so painful to him. but he probably thought being affected by it made him weak so🙁.

and finally, the end where it shows his attachment and love for his inner child who was never loved or taken care by anybody and had to fend for his own. the image of the older donald, covered in tattoos taking care of his small, crying younger self is so powerful😭😭like look at this i wanna kms

i wonder in another life how donald na would turn out if none of these things happened to him🙁🙁he wanted to be a NASA engineer you know🙁🙁🙁😭😭😭he had his own dreams

other things that i noted were that donald actually changes in public a lot. like seriously a lot....first on the rooftop then in the library, like this guy was just stripping at every opportunity.

and also that him not inviting gilshin and jimmy bae into the union was done on purpose as a technique to make them more willing to join? what?? that's so smart😭😭

i also found out this way that myles was a member of the union before it was even called the union?? like they rode together for three years and donald still beat his ass like damn! he is unsentimental.

i'm going to write something about the funeral chapter but that deserves its own post

Clear card pros and cons (that i can remember i need to reread it again)

Pros:

SYAOSAKU DATING ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

idk more content around our fave characters (though not as much but take it as you will)

The wierd ass technology update all of a sudden everyone has iphones (minus syaoran)

It picked up from the og ending where syaoran comes back from hong kong

SYAOSAKU DATING 🥹🥹🥹

SYAOSAKU WENT ON A DATE ‼️‼️

Unlocked sakura new swag (at the cost of ending her cardcaptor retirement…)

(Anime only) english dub actors of trc syaosaku voice ccscc syaosaku i thought that was pretty cool (syaoran sounds like maybe he went through puberty a little too early but thats okay)

(Anime only) SYAORAN SPEAKS FRENCH IN THE ENGLISH DUB

cute art style

Maybe just me but sometimes i get a little emotional seeing sakura in her daily life in middle school because its like !! Wow i remember when you were in 4th grade and now you’re in 7th grade im so proud of you sakura 🥹

Momo (new mascot to make marketable plushie off of)

(Anime only) MEILING COMEBACK ‼️

THE SYAOSAKU SONG HOSHI NO TEGAMI 😭😭😭😭😭 BEST SONG EVERRRR WTF SYAORANS SINGING VOICE IS SO!:?:)/$/? THEYRE SUCH A GOOD DUET

SYAOSAKU DATING. Btw. Theyre a couple. Theyre dating and theyre in love.

Cons:

KAITO.

New characters who happen to be mediocre

Akiho is literally just a carbon copy of sakura who is just sad (they refused to touch on the different aspects of her like reading books, singing and from kong kong only very rarely)

Kaito fucking sucks literally worst ccs of all time and THATS A LOT saying theres literal PEDOS in the fucking show but theyre all background characters but they can also piss off

Tbf i got confused along the way

Too many plot holes

Syaosaku angst

Syaosaku couldnt touch for a while 😔

Anyway why did yelan do that (referring to point above)

Some shit does not make sense

Tsubasa/xxxholic references (this is for you oomf)

Syaoran???? Is part of the “im keeping things from sakura” gang???? And it sucks so bad (yes it got resolved in the later half BUT IT STILL SUCKED)

TOO MANY THINGS KEPT FROM SAKURA JUST TELL HER DAMN

pushes most characters from the og manga aside to focus on akiho and that man 🙄🙄🙄

Clamp forces us to care about them but in reality we really do not gaf

(In reference to point above) Clamp sees that and pushes the nostalgia tactics/references sometimes and its lowkey tiring

The part where the syao/saku/tomo were reminiscing that fuck ass teacher made me ill i genuinely wanted to kms

Still hasnt gotten rid of their p*do ass shit thanks clamp very cool (sarcasm)

Did i mention that the og characters were pushed back? Because they really were

Akiho felt more of the main character of this story instead of sakura

Tbh not much happened in the entirety of this manga ESPECIALLY considering time shenanigans

Im still mad that syaoran hid stuff from sakura tbh

HOW CAN I FORGET THE UGLY ASS “YUNAAKI IS SIMILAR TO SYAOSAKU” PARALLELS AND HOW BADLY IT PISSES ME OFF

syaosaku dont look but theres an ugly bitch trying to be like you (yunaaki)

Yunaaki becoming borderline canon despite it being a toxic and p*dophilic ship

Kaito still exists in this fucking story and got a somewhat happy ending (befriending syaoran dont piss me the fuck off)

COMPARING KAITO TO SYAORAN KYS @ CLAMP

Kero/tomoyo/yue/nakuru/spinnel basically everyone magically involved is pushed back basically useless until the final act (i think i mentioned the character pushback before)

Still major plotholes

Yamazaki tells the truth now

Touya got whitewashed

Akiho still has too many similarities to sakura it still pisses me off. Why cant they make her her own character

My girl sakura developed anxiety

MY BOY SYAORAN DEVELOPED DEPRESSION

angsty ass middle schoolers

Didnt like the scene where sakuras grandad was basically throwing shade at syaoran comparing his romance with sakura to … sakura’s fuckass dad grooming her mom. What

Syaoran calmed down a bit i miss when he was chaotic af but whatever #middleschoolerthings

Season 2 is taking forever to release good lord

Days 23 & 24, Foncebadón and Ponferrada

Ears popping from altitude, I continue to work my way westward through terrain that looks to me just like the western mountains of Maine, a vast range of rolling, rounded, green, tree covered mountains.

The culmination of this stage of the Camino is the Cruz de Ferro, or Iron Cross, elevation 1,520 meters and the highest point above sea level on the Camino Frances.

A replica of a structure built in the 11th century as a way finder for pilgrims , the cross sits atop a mast which is surrounded by an enormous rock pile. Many pilgrims carry a stone with them that represents a personal burden, and they leave this stone at the cross, thus abandoning their load. Others pay tribute to their children or other family members by leaving a stone behind to honor them.

I am carrying a small heart shaped stone given to me by Heidi, in remembrance of sweet Tom Mac, who we lost eight months ago today. I had planned to do a shot of our favorite whiskey when I delivered the stone here - Tom and I loved to drink whiskey together - however during my ill-fated visit to Pamplona earlier in this Camino, the whiskey nip exploded in my backpack. So there were no shots of whiskey this morning.

If Tom were here, I know he would be cheering me on, and would likely be joining me in my final 100 km next week. It brings me both sadness and joy to know this stone and token of my friend, whiskey doused, will be here forever. Rest in peace dear friend.

Final Ramble: I've been craving some Shirlulu slow burn fics that are multichapter (with a happy ending) or without the slowburn (like they literally dated and she admitted she loved Lulu in canon so that's fine too) but still multichaptered, happy ending. Got any recs? I just want something that focuses on their romance that isn't a freaking oneshot! I'll take both angst and lighthearted, preferably angst. No sad ending tho or ill kms😭 I feel too hopeless when I look at your posts about them.

Anon, I feel you so much! 😭 I don't think I've ever found one in all of my years in the LuluShir fandom, all I have are oneshots too. We got the short end of the stick in canon (tragic, downplayed romance) and in fanon since the other ships got all the traction.

My 2012-self started what would've been a huge multichaptered R2 fix-it AU involving:

Shirley miraculously surviving (Lelouch was so distraught that he didn't notice her heart hadn't stopped, Suzaku finds her after he leaves and rushes her to the hospital desperately hoping she won't be Euphie all over again).

Suzaku figuring out that Shirley must have regained her memories and not knowing whether Lelouch was the one who shot her or not, so he sets up Anti-Geass guards at Shirley's room door. Lelouch knowing Rollo did it and he could come back to finish the job if he were to find out Shirley survived, so Suzaku's actions work to his advantage and he Geasses the guards into reporting to him.

Milly calling Lelouch who can barely bring himself to listen to her voicemail, expecting her to tell him about Shirley's funeral, only to find out Shirley actually survived.

Emotional LuluShir reunion where Lelouch sneaks in into her room at night, thinking she'd be asleep, just needing to actually see her alive, but of course Shirley wakes up. Lelouch feels guilty for being there at all, knowing that he is the reason Shirley's always in danger, and Shirley tries to make him understand that he needs to let her choose for herself this time. Lelouch refuses to take the risk of losing her again though, so he doesn't take her with him. He soothes her by telling her the best help she can give him is staying safe. So, Shirley makes him promise that he'll stay safe, too.

Suzaku deciding to take Shirley with him and Nunnally to keep her safe from Geass users. However, he is warned that the Emperor would see Shirley as a nuisance if he were to know that she has her memories back, so Shirley and Nunnally have to pretend not to know each other.

Eventually the Emperor finds out and before they can get rid of Shirley, Suzaku decides to ship her off to the Black Knights, by then trusting that Lelouch would do what it takes to keep her safe.

I had it all planned-out all the way to the end, and the focus would stay on Shirley/Lelouch/Suzaku and to a lesser extent, Nunnally and CC all the way through. The ending would involve a time-skip where Zero went MIA after defeating the emperor and Shirley became the swimming teacher at their school, and they would reunite at the last scene.

But I got 14k words in and dropped it, I can't remember why 😭 I definitely wish I had written it though! I'm not sure the writing would've been of very good quality but at least it would've been there 😔

i finally decided id just be direct and tell him how i was feeling. so i said i was sad and lonely. he asked why i was sad and i said that im sad cuz im lonely and that i really needed him right now

i dont know what else i expected haa he told me to leave and that hed be back soon. he lied, hes hanging out with my mom, so theyre gonna watch tv, and itll be another 3 hours before he comes back <33

i wish i didnt give a fuck. im trying to act like i dont but im so fucking depressed. ive been bugging him trying to get him to fuck me but ya know how the joke is oh my wife never wants to have sex she always has an excuse thats him. he always says something like "i dont feel good babe we can do it tomorrow" every single time i ask. he used to fuck me practically every time he looked at me.

ah but my point of mentioning that was that i am officially too depressed to be horny yay! ive been horny nonstop for a few days,, i keep asking him.

imagine tonight he decides he wants to. thatd be so fucking funny and just my luck, that i finally gave up and dont want to but ill have to or hell hate me even more in the morning.

im gonna kms

ive been following this guy on tiktok for about a year. he killed himself 6 months ago and his mom posts sometimes on his account. she posted a video of screenshots begging her son not to do it and all he would say is im sorry, i see no other way. people messaging him telling him they cared hours after he died not knowing he went through with it. there was an enormous funeral and everyone looked in pain. outside there were pictures of people hugging and crying. grown men crying in groups. they all let go of colorful balloons into the sky and i wondered, how many balloons would there be for me? would people be breaking down over my absence? would i even get balloons? i watched this tiktok and thought, why would he do this? so so many people clearly love him so much. i wonder if people think this about me when i tell them i have suicidal thoughts. i wonder who would come to the funeral and i wonder what they would say. i dont rven know where im going with this but watching that meant something to me. i guess half of it is if i were to kms, i know at least like 2 or 3 people would be real real sad and i dont want them to go through all that grief. but the other half has always been there. i always fantasize about my funeral. i dont know why, maybe becsuse i want people to see the extreme hurt im in. when i just say im suicidal its not the same thing and people dont treat it the same way. i want to kill myself because i want to know how people would react. do they like me enough to be real sad about, like would it crazy effect their lives? i feel like everyone except my mom could live without me. im all my mom has but everyone else will move on. i wish i could know for sure how everyone feels about me. even if im dead idk if ill be able to be a ghost and see them cry at my funeral. i just want to be appreciated i feel like im walked all over all the time and im a weirdo and i think differently or something idk i just feel like everyone hates me

If this is not to sensitive, can you tell me how you became a christian?

Thanks for the ask! No, don't worry, it's not too sensitive to ask me that! I love questions like these!

While I was growing up since my first time in church, I believed in God since about 6, but I only went maybe 6 times 10 times by 10, and after that, my parents didn't take me anymore. Even when I asked sometimes!

I grew up around witchcraft all my life, psychic readings from my grandma's friends who she did them with. My mom had crystals and would use sage on me everyday, my dad did "energy healing" or raki on me and my sister (and on my dog two years ago). Because of that, I had demons follow me my whole life (all stems from one dream where my grandpa led me to a kitchen and a demon chased me and entered into me.) They tried to get me to do a school shooting (a girl asked me when I was lying trying to be cool to her if I ever considered it before and I just froze like wait wait what uhhhhh no), a second friend who I would smoke with then tried to get me to make drugs and rob people while we sold them and I went along but I never came to anything, tried to get me to be a sexual deviant and that failed, get me to be a tankie then a nazi then a soft commie then a nazi again, then he got me to do witchcraft.

Which at the time (remember I believed in God but didn't know anything about him) I thought was so cool learning about all the different things and ways you could do it where I was able to move stuff cause pain make people think of different things using demons. And had witches follow me and my friends multiple times and even demons manifest in front of me and my friends. After a while they asked me to worship the devil, after I realized like man this stuff is legit just demon stuff why am I doing this it's EVIL man, and i was just like "if the devil and demons are real GOD HAS TO BE REAL no way around it.

So after a week of thinking that I was freaking out and asked God if he's real in genuinely terrified faith and sadness and right after I looked at my desk and a pencil moved (no wind or anything shaking the house) 4inchs to the left and back, I asked "wait wait is that really you God!?!?" And the pencil moved the same distance back and forth.

So I shut up in like fear, respect, and awe went about my day and over the course of maybe a month? I started praying, watching videos every once in a while, got a Bible, but never read it, and was generally Luke warm. I was talking to demons, still living as normal as my life was at that point. And the assaults from the devil kept getting worse and worse to the point of obsessive intrusive thoughts about doing the worst of the worst, me twitching and hurting myself and all that. It got so bad that one day that I couldn't help my dad work at Cousins House. we had to leave, and I gave my dad my pocket knife and said, "Please take this or ill kms"

Right after that, I thought, "I KNOW God's real man, I'm just gonna go head first and follow him the right way be a full on Christian" and when I went to the hospital because of suicidal ideations (my second time at that point) my devil tried killing me by making everything I touched shock my whole body, I told the nurses and they were just like "yea man whatever here's a benadryl go away", and, after I prayed for God to keep me alive no matter what, after about 15 more min I heard a demon ask me "why can't we kill you who's protecting you" and the first thing I thought was that it was God.

That was 3 years ago, and ever since I've been ultra tight with God, and he's been teaching me so much about anything and everything! I literally couldn't ask for a better relationship with him besides me literally seeing him face to face every day and talking for about the entire day every day.

I get my trials, but it's because I literally ask for them so I can be the finest gold! I asked him to "make me brake me recreate me" "make me as much like you as possible""humble me as much as possible" "I want problems" and "make my faith un brakeable" (that was the worst one, I've also asked for the hardest trials possible too, short of anyone I know dying or being hurt) I really recommend this because it's really made me a waaaay better Christian to the point of other people I know just being like saying I'm the only real Christian they know irl or just in general.

I also have hundreds of other amazing stories that'd blow ya away just ask for one anytime!

I also pose the same question to you?

God bless man!

1:34am : it hurts more over lapping them rather in new spots. but it feels really really good it makes my body tingle my hands get a bit hot . i think im over taking something before bed seems to stop working. it sucks though. i would take something ever night. id take them and my family would come in my room and see if i was asleep and im just there high out of my mind or my siblings would walk in and id be on discord or on the phone high. i went to bed on the phone with my friend high same with one of my cousins. It sucks and its sad seeing people in the world on drugs lose there minds just to feel some type of way. and for me to sit either on call or just by myself sucks. Its sad being on call with friends high and not fully gathering what they say because im high, it makes me feel horrible the next day or just anytime they mention somthing and idr bcuz i wasnt there. all bcuz i wanted to feel high. drugs really do fuck up life. but then again while i sit here and type, there the only thing making me feel nothing. i have friends. but even than, i want to be alone with myself.

i used to drive to this lake like 10mins from my house where if you park at the top of the hill and go a little more up an sit on the table you could see the whole entire lake, i would sit there for a hour before school. wake up at 6am get there by 620ish and just sit there till 15 mins before school, id sit there and tlk to myself. there was one day, and only one person knows this but since i use this now and honestly dc about shit anymore, i sat there and cried i skipped 2hours of school because i was sitting there talking myself into kms. i texted my parents tellin them how my day was going.... gave them crap, telling them i wasn't gonna be able to pick my siblings up bcuz i had some school project or extra credit to do. i texted my older brother telling him where my cat likes to sleep so he knows where to find him when he doesnt see him when he gets home from work. i texted my little sister telling her i wouldnt make it to her game the next day bcuz i was planning to go to school for some project and telling her to do her best bcuz if not ill be mad. i started sending my bf atm money from my bank so he could help himself more bcuz he bought me to much that i could ask for i told him that i hope his football team for the super bowl wins and to make sure he wears his jersey right this time.... i took pictures of where i was and saved them. i stopped sharing my locations with aaliyah. and i sat there. i sat there and sat there. i got up look over the hill and looked down. my heart dropped and i fell back and gave up. the thought of leaving ehat i had at the time was horrible. i didnt wanna go but something in me did. i collected myself got in the car cried more banged on my stirring wheel. fixed my face and went to school went home slept. that was that. i went on as i never did anything. i should have, truly. but hey ig it was worth? cause i mean look who i have. i seen a lot of ppl come and go. i did shi, i caused shit, i was the reason, but in the end im alone your alone everyone's alone. its nothing new and will never be fixed. in the end ur alone. no one can be there truly for you. you cant get into my head . you cant get my feelings, thoughts, pain, nothing. anyways. i said i didn want to take anything tbh but im tired asf so night.

i feel so fkn depressed n anxious i wanna do smth to myself scream cry i hate myself so fkn much why am i like thissss i wish i was someone else i hate being me ik ill be better in a few hours but its just exhausting being in this cycle of intense ass mood swings tf u mean one moment im suicide n wanna kms n hurt myself and the other im the happiest mf in the world and feel like the world is great and there's hope and a nice life to live it just never ends my unstable emotions r so fknnn exhaustingggg one moment i feel ike im perfect and deserve everything nice and i feel n look pretty n act nice and funny and playful and cheerful and the other i despise myself like i cant stand me or anything i do n how i look how i think how i feel i literally have no idea why he loves me maybe cus idkkk i wish i could see myself through his eyes and see what he sees :(

damn im back to that part of my life again crying in bathrooms and writing a whole damn essay about my feelings i just feel like im dramatic i feel everything intensly and sometimes i feel cold asf like nothing bothers me no matter how saddening it is it just suckssss everything sucks dude i wanna be normal and feel normal i dont wanna feel like this forever and i wanna be better and do better for him especially cus he deserves so much love and im trying my fucking best but sometimes ur best isnt enough and im scared one day he'll be so fed up from my emotional ass that gets mad and sad for no good reason and i then he feels bad for making me feel that way but its not his fault most of the time its me that takes things into heart suddenly and start acting like a fucking dumbass then when im calm i see the way i acted and feel bad and cringe and childish and dramatic that i felt this way or acted this way like my emotions r supposed to be my problem its not something im allowed to project or get it out on others i disagree asf with stuff like "get all ur anger/saddness out on me" like no u don't deserve that nobody deserves that except me tho from him only lol

lms iff u read this personal post

Fanfics i would Love to read but not talented enough to write them myself...

.... fanfics... or even better if that was actual scenes in season 4!

1. Gilbert seating on the train writing a draft of his letter to Anne, getting emotional, passionate not noticing old lad seating next to him with his wife looking at eachother smiling at young love. Telling him a short story of their love and how they have been separated and how they would suprise eachother by visiting every now and then.

2. Anne talking to Diana and deciding not to tell anyone about her and Gilbert before she actually speak with him... which later on will pay of in girls faces when they see them kissing lol

3. Anne receiving her first letter from Gilbert and being over the moon, sending her own letter straight away and meeting young intelligent boy at the post office which turnes out is at queens aswel.

4. Gilbert and Anne meeting new people, having their lessons and studies and writing little notes to add their letters, collecting little flowers, making it very personal.

5. Gilbert being jealous over this new boy which Anne mentioned in 3 letters already. Doing extra work to finish his studies few days earlier to travel to Charlottetown and see Anne.

6. All girls seating outside, learning, talking romance, Anne and Diana giving eachother side looks because nobody knows about Gilbert yet... Anne getting very emotional she havent seen Gilbert in 2months while Ruby talking about daily walks with Moody.. her eyes tear up, girls are like ohh r you ok Anne when one of them look up from their blanket and bw like: oh, Gilbert whatever you doing here...

Anne jumped up straight into his arms, he swings her around in a massive hug, then they about to kiss, tios of their lips about to touch when Diananotice Girls faces and goes like: uhmm

Gilbert and Anne look at all the suprised girls, get a bit shy, Gilbert let's Anne out of his tight hug and they stand there looking at eachother for short while, Gilbert is like: ladies... if you dont mind I would like to steal Anne for a... looks at Anne not knowing what to say, but she finish his sentence for him: tea! There's certain matters we need to discuss with Gil... with Mr. Blythe... she says while looking at Gilbert's dreamy eyes... Girls being so confused and shocked by whole situation just nods while they walk out through back gate.

7. The moment they are away enough from girls and the boarding house Gilbert swing Anne in the air again with the cutest smile, she laughs, then they step to the side of little quiet road and he kiss like theres no tomorrow...

Talk about their studies... then walk past tea house and Gilbert is like, oh we are here and Anne look at him with a cheeky smile... shes like oh we are not really going to have a tea are we.. its dull and full of boring people.. Gilbert laughs at memory of being awkward with Winfred at one of them tea houses.

Anne takes Gilbert to one of her favourite parks, they walk by the water.. theres a small patch of grass surrounded by trees, Sun sneaking through the branches, they are finally alone and kissing and cuddling... they sat on the grass talking, laughing, simply staring into eachothers eyes... they lie down cloud gazing playing with each hands, hair...

8. Gilbert walking Anne back to her house, talking about leaving to Avonlea and telling everyone, both but stressed about their families reaction... they stop by the gate to avoid Anne getting kn trouble, hold eachothers hands. Gilbert's is like: so... we are... courting? Its official! Anne gives him a shy smile: I still cant belive it... Gilbert gives her a soft kiss and tells her he will come and see her at queens next day so the can travel together back to Avonlea.

9. Anne back to her room where she is immediately flooded by questions from all the girls... You kissed him, he kissed you in public, oh that's nothing like Gilbert we knows.. Anne stands there waiting for them to calm down and simply just say: I'm in love with Gilbert Blythe for a while now, and what I recently been informed about, hes been (she srops realising he never actually said he loves her...) ... having feeling for me aswel, for a while... we will be seeing our families tomorrow as we are offering courting.. girls get all hyped, asking questions if hes a good kisser Ruby throws a little comment that she actually always was confused when she thought hes looking at her but it was more like he was staring at Anne and that shes happy for her...

(Sorry... long list... I didint realised km so needy and desperate for fanfics 🙈)

10. All Anne can think if at school is fact that she is going to see Gilbert very soon and they will travel together back home...

She bumped into her friend, Roy which btw also have feeling for her and jokingly often admits he thinks Anne's is the most beautiful girl at queens etc... which Anne is ignoring as all she thinks of Gilbert and studies.

They walk out of school together, Roy lean and whisper somwthkng into Anne's ear, she laughs and notice Gilbert, wave at him, theyvwalk towards eachother. Gilbert's jaw is pulsing, hes jealous. Anne introduces them to each other and Gilbert have a little flashback to when he was introducing Winnie to Anne and disint know how to refer to Winfred, Anne did almost the same thing as it's actually first time she have to introduce Gilbert as her bou. Boys shake their hands bit stronger than they should, Anne says goodbye to Roy and her friends, Gilbert then offers her his arm to hold on to while looking at Roy standing and watching them walk away.

11. Gilbert is bit confused and worried, he isnt talking much on the way back, Anne is so excited shes doing most of the talking.. she noticed Gilbert acting wierd and asks, he then have tiny emotional tantrum and tells her he doesnt like the way this Roy guy is into her... she laughs and tells him theres nothing there, beside the only person she cares about... she ... loves its Gilbert.. he smiles, hold her hand... she then get a bit worried because its been 3 times when she said it out loud she loves him and Gilbert didint say it back.

12. They decided to invite Gilbert's family for dinner to Green Gables and then tell them together so when they get out of the train and see Matthew they being careful not to look to excited. Matthew offer Gilbert a ride back home and noticed little looks between Anne and Gilbert.

13. The dinner ready, Gilbert, Bash and Deli arrives at Green Gables, all the way Bash was giving Gilbert side looks with a cheeky smile and asking what so important they have to go to dinner tonight and not some other day... Gilbert just smiles and says its was Anne's idea on their way back from train station.. Marila opens the door calling for Matthew and Anne..

Anne come downstairs, Gilbert gets up with the most hearty eyes, theyblook at eachother for a while, and everyone e in the room glance at Anne then Gilbert, Marila and Bash look at eachother with a smile, Matthew looks a little bit concerned...

14. Anne stand in the middle of the room, Gilbert walks to her with a smile, turn around and stand by her side, they look at each other with a shy smile, he then pick up Anne's hand and while holding it dearly in his both hands he say something like: Marila, Matthew, Sebastian... Delphine (with a little smile as she giggle at he uncle)

We have some news, I mean... I would like to ask your permission first, ofcourse... uhmm

I would like to ask your permission to court with Anne... uhm... we recently discovered we both... have feelings for eachother... (Anne give him a concerned side look as again he wont say he loves her)

I needs to know if you Marila and Mathew gives us your... blessing..

They look at each other, Marila stands up, walked to them, hold their hands with tears in her eyes saying that shes so happy for them and their happiness and love is what matters... Bash alsongwts up and hug Gilbert with biggest smile saying he knew it and that he is so happy for them.. Anne then looks at Matthew which looks a bit sad.. gilbert then says: Matthew?

And hes like: if Anne's happy I am aswel, gets up and shakes Gilbert's hand, Anne hugs him.

15. They all seating alntalking, laughingnover the dinner table, Anne playing with Deli and Gilbert joining her, Matthew and Marila getting emotional as this is another big step towards losing their precious Anne.

16. Bash joking around, quietly saying to Marila about them behaving like perfect parents. Matthew then walking out but emotional.. Both Anne and Gilbert looking at eachother, Anne wanted Ringo but Gilbert telling her to stay and walking out behind Matthew. Then having a heartwarming conversation, telling Matthew how much he cares for Anne.

17. Anne kissing Gilbert goodbye and Bash seeing it, making comments about it on their way back home.

18. Anne and Gilbert going for walk... Gilbert being cheeky and keep touching Anne's hands, hair, face... talking about feeling when Anne suddenly tear up and tells him she wants to go back home, take a turn thru the woods, Gilbert all confused ran after her asking what's wrong, She then have a little go at him that shes scared he dowsnt really love her because it's been months and he never actually said he loves her... he then loom into her eyes, hold her face in his hands and tells her: I am in love with you Anne, my Anne with an e, I'm in love with you since i remember, it's always been you Anne...

He kiss her then and after the kiss shes all like: but why dont you say it..

He looked at her with sad eyes: I'm afraid of losing you Anne, most of people I ever loved are gone... I cant lose you Anne, I... love you to much, it hurts just thinking about losing you...

He seats on fallen tree, tell her a story of his mothers death while giving him birth, of his brothers dieing one after another to illness... then his father.. and dear Mary... he opens up and cry while she listens and hold his hand.

She then tells him how much sorry she is for being selfish and forcing him to say it, but he wont mind as it's been a while since he could open up like this and it feels so right to talk to his Anne.

They hug and talk about how Mary would be happy for them, Anne recalls his father and fact he said he herd alot about her and Gilbert getting all shy saying he told him alot abt Anne because even then he would not stop caring about her, back then he wasnt sure what it was, it was pulling him towards Anne, only recently he realised it's always been love...

Then they say it together and laugh...

19. As they are walking out of the forest Anne tripped and fall into a ditch, Gilbert laughs recalling the day Marila was talking about Anne in the ditch, asking her if that's how her adventures looks like and as shes a bit upset with him at first she also laughs saying he is her biggest adventure now...

20. Then as he helps her out, they stand and laughs, he gives her a soft kiss, Rachel Lynde watches it from nearby as she was just walking back from ms. Stacy's...

All shocked she rushed to Green Gables to talk to Marila... Markla gives he a little talk about being young and in love and maybe if she would listen to her heart she would be married now... as they talk Anne and Gilbert walks into the kitchen laughing... they both look ar Rachel bit scared of her comments.. but she gaze at Marile for short while thinking, then she gets up, walkes to them and congratulate them with a little cheeky comment about kissing...

21. They are back to their schools, emotional and full of love goodbyes, girls sneakily watching them and giggling...

22. Series of letters, Roy finding one of Anne's letters she left in one of her books he borrowed... then making a declaration.. Anne feeling overwhelmed as she does like Roy alot and woildnt want to ruin their friendship... bit of an argument between Anne and Gilbert, Roy trying to kiss her and she slapping his face...

23. Christmas back in Avonlea, together one big happy family... Anne and Gilbert sneaking out at night to spend time together... kissing and rolling in the barn...

24. Anne having a flashback from orphanage and Gilbert asking what's wrong, atvfitstvshe doesn't want to tell him but one night they talk and she opens up and tells him everything, about being bullied and treated like trash... about her imagination helping her get trough... about how broken she always felt and never couldn't even imagine being loved, and having so many loving people in her life... she would tell him about how worried she was her parents have her away because they disint love her as she was an ugly redheaded baby... Gilbert then kisses her single messy braid and tells her how much he loves her red hair and how much he Hope's their children will have same hair as her.. she then freaks out a little because she never actually thought about children and the way Gilbert talks it sounds so natural for him... she then look at him with a smile: out babies?

And gilbert is like: oh gosh, I I didint meant to scare you... but.. dont you think about... our future Anne? Coz I do.. alot he admits with a bit shy face..

She then say she only imagine their future together but she never actually thought about children... he get a bit stressed but then she adds that now he mentioned it, she also is looking forward to having a child, maybe two... they laugh and joke about it a little ... Bash and Ms. Stacy get married which course outbreak but after several years of secretly meeting and falling more in love they decided to go against the system. She ends up losing her job as a teacher but she writes books and articles to newspapers instead while pregnant with their first child. She also moves in with Bash his mother and Deli as Gilbert told Bash that after school he wont be living with them anymore. Elijah moves out as he met lovely girl himself, got married and lives outside Charlottetown, visiting them often and always helping with the harvest.

25. New years eve, theres a ball, dancing, beautiful scenes of them having fun together... Gilbert taking Anne back to green Gables.. he turn towards the cliffs... they walk together to the cliffs end, stand there looking into stars, he then drop on his knee, holding a ring, a beautiful ring and ask her to marry him, which she obviously say yes to.

26. Time skip with a bit of letters between them and their lives at school etc... suprised visits and going back home..

Matthew having another heart attack, being bed stuck, Jerry rushing to get a doctor but it's to far and they wouldn't make it, Matthew dieing with Anne and Marila by his bed... Gilbert coming to Avonlea back from his practice next day, Bash tells him what happened,bhe rush to Green Gables and Fojnd Anne in awful state.. Jerry explain to him he went to fetch the doctor from other town but it was to late... he apologise to Anne for not being here, she tells him it's not his fault... but he feels responsible for not being close to his family... he decides to come back and be a town doctor after all his school and practice is finished...

28. Anne after getting approval from mrs lacroix (stacy) applied and got the job as a teacher in Avonlea school, helping Marila as shes still very unstable after losing Matthew.

29. Then beautiful wedding in Avonlea... Marila crying.. Anne missing Matthew dearly.. lots of memories, laughs and dancing...

30. When Anne got the job as a teacher she also got the house ms Stacy useto lived in, she decided to stay at green Gables until theh get married but she got the house already for them week before the wedding.

They get back home, to their very own home, Anne is so happy it's in the woods as she always felt special connection to nature...

They have wonderful night and sweet love making, both happy in eachothers arms, enjoying the rest of their life together...

Gilbert suggest to Anne that she could write a book same as ms Stacy which she starts very next day...

31. Another skip in time... Anne giving birth, Gilbert doing his best, baby is breached, hes scared of losing Anne, of losing them both. Marila is there aswel... Baby is finally born but it isnt crying... Gilbert pass the baby to Marila and take care of Anne... she walks out quickly to check on the baby as therws still not a single cry in the house, Anne is bleeding alot, but asking for her baby... he walked in to the kitchen Marila standing there crying, he take baby if her hands and wrap aswel, their very first baby, product of their undying love didint survive the labour... he hugged his child pressing him to his chest, kissed his head... he then walked back to Anne's room... Marilenherd loud moan and deep desperate cry, shes crying herself... Gilbert asked if Anne wants to say her goodbyes. She said yes and hold her baby in her arms crying... they gold a little funeral two days after... Anne is devastated... her and Gilbert having a breakdown together crying...

32. Two years later Gilbert find himself worrying for his wife's life once agin... it was hard for them to decide tontryvfor another baby... Anne wanted it and now Gilbert is scared to death about his Anne and baby to come. Luckily this time everything went smoothly with mo single complication, baby cries and they both hold it together crying of happiness.

Then years later Anne writing another book, while their children are playing together outside of green Gables... Marilas dying wish was for Anne ro have Green Gables, it was her home and she wanted Anne and her family to live happy life in there...

Gilbert is backnfeom work, they seat on the porch, drinking tea, looking at eachother with hearty eyes, talking about their achievements kids keep running up to them, hugging and kissing them. They smile, stand up watching their 6 children being cheeky.

I love you Carrots...

I love you to Gil...

Then they kiss with even more passion than ever...

The end...

Gosh that possibly the longest post I ever wrote... when I started I had only abt 15 ideas... but as I wrote more and more... even more ideas came to my head... sorry for a long bit messy read... just wanted to share some of things that kept me awake since we found out about s4 being cancelled...

Anyway.... hope you enjoyed it... sorry for any mistakes... will proofread tomorrows as today its been a while since I started writing this...

Dabihawks writing shit

Hawks’ writing guide:

https://waxwingedhawks.tumblr.com/post/185881407778/guide-to-writing-hawks (Go follow @waxwingedhawks)

and a few things I want to add: 

1: As ive said before, Hawks’ food addiction is probably just his coping mechanism. Stress eating, yknow? I mean think about all the stress this poor boy is under. he has to find some way to deal with it, and it doesnt take a genius to see that way is food.

2: how long it takes for his wings to grow back. Just a convenient reminder. To quote the wiki, “When he uses all his feathers, it takes at least two days to grow back entirely, which can be a considerable weakness.”

3: Just how fast he can go; “By his own admission, Hawks' strong side isn't strength but his phenomenal speed. He was able to reach Endeavor's attackers from the top of a skyscraper, in the blink of an eye (0,5 s) which makes 375 - 400 km/h (233 - 248 m/h) and he did not even seem trying, which implies that he can go faster. Hawks solves most fights so rapidly that his sidekicks can't keep up with him so he usually just leaves the aftermaths of his battles to them, while he rushes to the next case.”

4: This handy little trick that I havent seen in many fics: “Vocal Espionage: Hawks is able to use one of his feathers to distinguish sounds from the minute it changes in the air, allowing him to decode conversations and vocal information from sensing the vibrations. Especially after leaving the room or increasing the distance, this technique makes him a dangerous spy.”

5: The fact that he’s actually a little baby “Hawks holds the record for the youngest Pro Hero, as well as the fastest for a Pro Hero to become one of the top 10 Pro Heroes on the Hero billboard chart Japan.”

6: The fact that his nickname is LITERALLY PRECIOUS MAN

7: He never attended U.A and some of yall forget this

8: He’s actually a very complex character, and he knows his death is coming, so dont forget to write that. https://linkspooky.tumblr.com/post/188365405175/when-the-cherry-blossoms-fall (Follow @linkspooky too)

9: My personal {Educated} headcanon; He can’t really handle too much loud noise, so he wears those headphones.

10: My other headcanon: Hawks is kinda adhd.

and theres no guide for Dabi yet, so ill make one for you:

1: Dabi is very aloof, casually confident and kinda emotionless at times. So you really have to write him like he doesn’t give a rats ass about anything... Except for Endeavor. Anytime Endeavor or any real mention of family is part of the situation, Dabi is always mad and unhinged (At least that’s what I’ve observed from the Manga).

2: Dabi is actually kinda useless:

 https://echodrops.tumblr.com/post/177149516011/is-dabi-just-terrible-at-being-a-villain (Go follow @echodrops)

3: You still have to remember that he’s a villain, and that he enjoys playing that role. In the wiki it says that “Despite his usual expressionless behavior, Dabi finds joy in establishing himself as a villain fighting against what he believes to be false heroes. He takes pleasure in taunting heroic figures, students, and Pro Heroes alike. He even takes sadistic pleasure from the pain he inflicts on others, including the people he's murdered.”

4: His intelligence level varies a lot. The wiki tends to portray him as some kind of manipulative genius, while his stats are pretty low. So I guess that’s up to you

5: He still shares Stain’s ideology, and probably looks up to his image as some kind of vague guideline. I’ve seen so many people forget this when writing fanfictions and it kills meee

6: Touya ‘died’ while he was in middle school, so he would’ve been about 13-15 years old. {Still a baby} Also, it’s been noted that this happened shortly after Rei was admitted to the mental hospital.

7: Dabi is slim and sickly. So maybe you should have other people take notice.

8: POINT OUT HIS FIGHTING POSTURE. I cant stress enough how much i love when people write this. he has the same fighting motions as Shoto, and you shouldnt be afraid to have other characters notice.

9: This is just a popular headcanon, but almost everyone seems to agree that Dabis hands are cold. {Got it from his mom obviously}

10: Dabi’s nerves are absolutely obliterated under his scars, so he cant feel anything. Pain or soft touches.

_______________________________________________________________________

Ok now that that’s out of the way, lets focus on the Dabihawks aspect of this;

1: Unless you’re skipping the getting together part of their relationship, you need to start with its roots, which to quote the wiki “It is unknown if Dabi sees through Hawks’ lies, but it's hinted that he's still observing him. Their relationship is mocking, dishonest and resembles a constant power struggle. As far as is known, Dabi is the only villain who may suspect Hawks of being a double-agent.” So dont forget that they didnt get along at first.

2: If Dabi finds out tha Hawks is a double agent, it can go a bunch of different ways. He can get mad and feel betrayed {Angsty, and also kinda overdone}, He can cut off contact without much warning {His feelings can be up to you}, He can be a bit surprised{Or not} and be ok with it {Haven’t seen this one done yet}, or my personal favorite He can just kinda be like obviously and just string him along, giving him false information {Imagine Hawks feeling betrayed by the man he was supposed to be betraying. Like the tables were switched the whole time or something. Ironic right?}

3: If youre writing smut, I think its been made pretty clear that Dabi has some kind of pain kink. {Sorry Hawks}

4: This ones kind of just a writing tip in general, but i like seeing other characters thrown in too. Not just the main ship, you know? I’m pretty sure it isn’t just me either.

5: The height difference isn’t that big. {Sad I know.} Hes only really about an inch taller than Hawks {Making him the shortest Todoroki son.}

6: If you’re writing smut Dabi would probably play with Hawks’ feathers i.e gently{Or not. Up to you} Biting them, licking them, or whispering into them.

7: Their names:

https://griffinmcelroyspisskink.tumblr.com/post/187357377193/with-dabi-it-almost-is-a-form-of-power-that-we                                                                  (Last one go follow @griffinmcelroyspisskink)

bro i hate father’s day sm because it’s also my d*ds bday and so my mom and i went out today to get him something but i had trouble figuring out what to get him cause like. 1) i hate him because he’s abused and traumatized me 2) he’s hurt my mom as well 3) i’m overall indecisive but she basically told me i was a selfish asshole because of that and like haha i wanna kms

hey man im so sorry to hear that :( ur dad is a CUNT and ur mum is an asshole for consistently putting you in danger and then just expecting you to get over it. while she’s a victim too, she still has a responsibility to protect you and you have every right to be mad. god it’s like parents just don’t grasp that kids are absolutely allowed to have a response to the trauma they’ve been through, and that they’re deserving of the help that is necessary to process and accept their pain. that includes you. no matter what they put you through, you must know that you’re a better person than they’ll ever be and that there is so much waiting for you out there. in terms of love, independence, happiness, and a future you can make your own. divorced of your mum and dad’s toxicity. no matter how hard it is to believe, it’s true. and while it’s completely unfair that you have to carry the weight of your childhood when it was entirely out of your hands, adulthood will lend you a lot of time and resources to recover in your own way. more than you realize in this moment, anyway. one of the side effects of abuse is not seeing a way forward, but there always is one, even if all you can do in this moment is survive. that’s enough. your older self will be so glad you did. but as far as your dad goes - honestly get him any old thing like. you don’t owe him a thought or any effort at this point. suburban middle aged men have no taste. maybe some cologne or a smart shirt or some shit. i know fathers day is rough when you have no reason to respect yours, and i hope you’re able to take it easy on yourself as you work through the emotions caused by that realization.  it’s alright to be sad, angry, hurt and numb. it’s to cry and vent and to grieve. but it’s not alright to use those feelings as an excuse to hurt yourself or to slip into a self destructive cycle. so if you find yourself going down that sort of mental spiral, i really hope you’re able to get into the habit of trying out different positive coping mechanisms that may be able to break you out of it. even if it feels dumb. writing, taking a walk, meditation, watching a comfort show, breathing techniques, talking to a friend or loved one. none of these things are solutions to the fundamental issue at hand, but they buy you time to recuperate and that often makes all the difference. you don’t have to have it all figured out, you just have to work with what you’ve got. and i believe in your ability to do so. ALSO i can 100% relate to being indecisive. ppl get mad at me for it too. but it doesn’t mean you’re selfish at all, it usually just means you’ve been ridiculed a lot in the past so you’re scared to make the wrong decision. your mother is on some bull shit and one of the greatest parts about growing up is realizing that, realizing just how wrong parents are sometimes. anyway this is all over the place and i dont want to make it too long, but i really hope you’re alright and that you’re looking out for yourself despite it all. as a side note, i’d really recommend maybe bringing up how much you’re struggling to like - a school counselor, or your doctor to see if they can refer you for some support, or even a hotline that deals with mental illness and abuse. if possible, anyway. i understand why it might not be, or why the idea might make you extremely uncomfortable, but i hope you know that it’s always there for you to refer back to. that you truly do not have to shut yourself off from seeking a support network and that you have a RIGHT to talk about the everything that hurts. while taking the initial step is scary, it’s also never as bad as your brain envisions it to be. and there’s a lot to gain from opening up, you know? there’s no relief in suffering in silence. but that’s just a suggestion, no pressure. it’s totally normal to need time and to want to approach this at your own pace. again, i’m really sorry your parents are so blinded by their own ignorance. if you need a friend or anyone to talk to, my inbox will be open. you’re not alone. please take it one day at a time x