#Fuck yeah mint ice cream iz the best
Text
Chapter 25, pt. 2 - Bailey’s & Ice Cream
(chapter 25, part 1 - Fragile)
My heart was pounding wildly, and I felt short of breath and nauseous. I definitely couldn’t drive yet. I took some deep, measured breaths until my breathing and heart rate regulated somewhat, but I was still sick to my stomach, and I couldn’t stop crying.
I wanted to go home, but the house was empty, and I knew being alone in my state was probably a bad idea. I needed a friend. Jen was working a late shift, but I knew Izzy was home, so I called her once I trusted my voice to work more or less properly.
“Hello?”
“Iz…?” My voice cracked on just that one tiny syllable.
“Kate? What’s wrong?”
“I…I just fucked up really bad with Ed.”
“Oh, shit, what happened?”
“It’s, um, a long story. Do you think....can you come over?”
“Of course! You’re at home?”
“Not yet, I’m in my car...at his hotel. But I’m going home now.”
“Well, wait, are you alright to drive? You sound really upset-“
“-No...yeah, I’m OK. It’s just a 5 minute ride.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll leave as soon as I’m off the phone. I’ll be fine.”
“OK, if you’re sure...I can be there in 15 minutes.”
“Thank-you, Iz.”
“Of course, sweetie, I’ll see you in a few. Be careful.”
“I will.”
—
I'd just finished changing into my comfy, oversized sweatshirt and flannel pants when Izzy arrived. As soon as I opened the door the tears came again, and she swallowed me up in a gigantic hug.
“Oh, honey.”
“Iz, it’s so bad. I fucked everything up.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetie. C’mon, and tell me everything.” She tilted her head towards the kitchen, and headed there as if she owned the place. I followed behind.
“Sit,” she directed me, indicating the breakfast bar stools.
I did as she shed her jacket and purse before tearing through my fridge and cabinets, pulling out various provisions. She soon set down bowls of ice cream and some tall glass tumblers of Bailey’s Irish Cream for each of us before finally sitting herself down across from me.
“OK, now I think we’re set, no?”
“You’re amazing, Iz.”
“Nah, I’m just a little bossy. And hungry. You always have the best snacks, anyway,” she shrugged. “And it’s good comfort food. But, anyway...what happened, honey?”
Before I could begin telling her anything, my text notifications started going off. I knew it was him, but instead of checking it I just stared at my phone on the counter in front of me, much like a deer in headlights.
“You gonna look at that?”
“I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “Not yet.”
“OK.”
So, amidst gorging myself on ice cream and Bailey’s, I told Izzy how I let my stupid head and its stupid fears and anxieties run amok, and how I said things to Ed that I didn’t even mean.
“I know you love him.”
“So. Much.”
“You want to stay together, right?”
I nodded. No question. “If he’ll still have me after...this.”
“Honey, you guys had a fight. It happens. You’ll work it out.”
“Yeah, it’s just there are so many things to work out. It’s...overwhelming, sometimes.”
“Like what?”
“Well, like, we live in different countries. My family, my life...are here. He has very solid roots there. And there’s his career...I don’t know how to do any of this.”
Izzy nodded. “I get what you’re saying, but...these seem like things the two of you can work out together, no? You could maybe split your time? Part-time here and part-time there? It would definitely take some compromise, but I don’t think it’s insurmountable?”
I shrugged. She made it sound quite reasonable. “Yeah, I guess maybe.”
“You both have a lot to talk about.” She paused and gave me a thoughtful glance. “I do have a question, though. You said he was talking about family? ‘Wanting to be a part of your family’, you said?”
"Yep,” I took a healthy slug of my Bailey’s, mentally bracing myself. Which is ridiculous, since it was Izzy I was talking with, and not even Ed.
“Like, what did he mean by that? Does he...is he talking about getting married?”
Good question.
“I don’t know...he didn’t use those words. But he said when he imagines the future, it…he sees us all together as a family - he and I, and Nate and Lucy…and…”
“And...?”
“Yeah. And...our kids.”
Izzy’s big brown, almond-shaped eyes grew wider at that. “Your... you mean, like, yours and his?”
“Yeah, pretty sure.”
“Holy shit?”
“I know!”
“That’s...is that something you guys have already talked about, then? Having kids?”
“No,” I shook my head. “We haven’t really talked about the future at all. God, this is nuts, isn’t it?” I pressed my fingertips to my temples, but then decided some more alcohol might do me better, and took a generous gulp of my drink.
“OK, so, what do you think about this? I mean...you haven’t really known each other that long.”
“I know, but…it feels like we’ve known each other forever...it was like we already knew each other when we met. This is hard to explain, but the idea of us being a family? Isn’t exactly what’s freaking me out - at least not that much. And I know that sounds crazy, but, I don’t know…” I shrugged. “It’s the ‘having more kids’ part…that…that’s where my anxiety kicks in, I think.”
“You don’t want any more?”
“No, actually I do - I’d...I would love that.”
She looked a little shocked. I couldn’t blame her - I knew how it sounded.
“Wow. That’s…that’s amazing! Really?”
I felt my face flushing. “Yeah,” I shrugged, and fleetingly wondered if some more cold ice cream might stop my cheeks from pinkening any further.
"OK, so then if you think you’re both on the same page about that, then what’s worrying you?”
“Right.” I exhaled, lowering my gaze to my half-filled glass of Irish cream, and then I poured it over the rest of my mint chocolate chip ice cream. Because this particular topic was an old wound, and it still made me feel pretty bad. At least I loved Bailey’s on my ice cream. But it didn’t really help.
“What is is, Kate?”
“I, um...I’ve never really talked about this with anyone besides Jay.” I shrugged and sighed a humorless laugh - I was so anxious about this. “So, I don’t think…well, I don’t know...if I can have any more kids. We tried to have more for years…and, well, I had a few miscarriages, but…” I slowly shook my head, finally raising my eyes up to meet hers.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I had no idea?”
“Yeah, we didn’t really talk about it with anyone.”
“So...you’re worried about how Ed will take that?”
“Yeah. He really wants kids...if anyone was born to be a dad, it’s him, right? I...I’d just really hate to put him in a situation where he couldn’t do that. And what if he becomes resentful over it, or leaves me? I couldn’t...I wouldn’t handle that well. And I’m not getting any younger, either…so, I might be out of time to get this figured out.”
“Whoa, OK. First of all...what are you talking about ‘out of time’? Hello, you’re in your 30’s, and you’re healthy. And second...are you seriously pushing him away because he maybe might want to marry you, but you’re worried he’ll change his mind because you might not be able to have any more kids...but you don’t know that for sure? And he doesn’t even know any of this, does he?”
“Well…no? But I…um, I did tell him he’d probably be better off with someone else who’s younger.”
“You did not?! Katie, what?? Why?”
“I don’t know?! It seemed to make sense at the time?”
“That…that’s kind of really unfair to him. He has no idea where that was coming from, does he? You have to talk to him, tell him everything, and then the two of you need to figure this out together - you can’t decide for him. And for what it’s worth, I can’t imagine him hinging your entire relationship on a...a non-existent child, anyway.”
My text notifications started pinging again just then, and I finally caved and picked up my phone. And then I felt even worse.
I looked up at Izzy to find her watching me curiously.
“He’s worried about me…and I’ve been ignoring him. God, why am I so horrible??”
“No, you’re not horrible, you just need some time to work out a few things.”
“I should answer him…”
She shrugged and nodded, agreeing.
A few minutes later I took a breath and looked up at Izzy, wide-eyed and feeling a nervous wreck all over again.
“He’s coming over.”
“That’s good.”
“I’m...ughh, I’m a disaster, Iz. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m acting like a crazy person, pushing him away when I really want to do the exact opposite. I’m...overwhelmed.”
“That’s completely fair, honey. Just remember that he loves you and wants you to be happy. But you have to be totally honest with him about everything, ok?”
“OK.” I rubbed my temples, still so uncertain. “He’s flying back home tomorrow.”
“Ohhhh, shit. Well, then it’s good you guys are going to talk now.” She stood. “I will get out of your hair before he gets here.”
I walked with her to the door and thanked her for coming over.
“That’s what friends do, Katie. It’s going to be ok.”
We hugged, and I promised to call her the next day to let her know how I’m doing...how we’re doing. I really hoped I’d have some good news to give her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry there’s no Ed in this one - I promise he’s all over part 3, though (which is about 2/3 done)!
I’d love to know your thoughts on this, and to know that it’s at least being read, so hit those like and reblog buttons, and send me those Asks! Feedback is love!
-BP💜
#becausepurple#becuzpurple#ed sheeran#ed sheeran fic#ed sheeran fan fic#ed sheeran mature fanfic#ed sheeran fanfiction#celebrity fanfic#Ed & Kate#Ed & Kate love story#multi-chaptered fic#ch 25 pt 2#Bailey's & Ice Cream#it's the bomb you must try it!#Bailey's poured over Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream#it's heavenly#now you know what Kate's been worried about#anxiety sucks#Feedback is love!
23 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
adviceformefromme
I wrote this for me, from me...
guesippina
NotAboutPumpkins
himhks91
Deepinside
fototreffberlin
FOTOTREFF BERLIN
heyokyay
heyokyay