thinking about modern loser!ellie as ur gf :3c
modern!abby version here!!!
requests are open btw please iāll write for ellie or abby
18+ sfw & nsfw
-> sometimes sheāll send u random ass pictures she finds funny
-> does the thing where she pretends to swerve off the road while she drives cuz it makes you laugh
-> she SPAMS you with tiktoks
-> every time thereās video of an old guy on her fyp that has like 2 likes sheāll send it to u and be like āthought this was joelā
-> the guy looks nothing like joel
-> pretends to have a fear of thunder so she can use every thunderstorm as an excuse to cuddle you
-> ābabe iām so scaredddddd pleaseš£š£š£ im shakingā
-> CANNNOT keep secrets from u
-> sheāll plan surprise dates and when you ask where the two of u are going sheās like āā¦nowhereā¦ā
-> sheāll have to be silent the entire drive because if she speaks she will immediately reveal entire date
-> she HATES cringey pet names
so obviously you call her them all the time
-> sheās in line to buy smth and sheāll ask u for her wallet and uāll hand it to her and say some shit like āhere u go baby snuggle bearš„°ā
-> the look she gives you LMFOAODKSLDKDDK
āš¦ā
-> literally looks like u just killed her first born
-> does that āi hardly know her!ā joke all the time
-> if no one laughs at her jokes sheāll tap on her hand and be like āuh, is this thing on?ā
-> she thinks this is peak comedy
-> sheāll find silly things throughout her day that remind her of u
-> she takes pics everytime she sees a heart shaped object and sends it to u
-> absolutely has to get u a little treat or gift when she goes out, candy, flowers, etc. anything u might like she WILL buy
nsfw ā¼ļø 18+
-> SENDS U STUPID ASS REACTION MEMES AFTER U SEND NUDES
-> omg u and her buy stuff off adam & eve sometimes so she signed up for texts
-> and every time she gets a text sheāll send u a screenshot like āgreat news babe the butt blaster is 40% off!ā
-> when yāall first starting having sex sheād be so awkward šššš she couldnāt take herself seriously
-> eventually warmed up and started getting more confident
-> ellie williams is a sub iāll die on this hill
-> but sheāll def try almost anything at least once to see if she likes it
ok thatās all for now love u all
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nsfw, mdni
š cant stop thinking about ellie eating it through your pantiesā¦ rubbing her tongue up and down, giving it little kisses and teasing your hole with her fingersā¦ shed love the way your pussy gets so puffy and swollen when youre this desperate for her, shed squish your lips together with her fingers, move them side to side, knowing you can feel the pressure on your clit. āgetting needy, huh?ā shed whisper as she nibbles on your lips, grunting into your core. shed get so worked up, her own juices leaking down her inner thighs, but nothing turns her on more than teasing you and seeing how greedy and pathetic you get just from feeling her hot, wet tongue on the soft fabricā¦ shed lick it till itās practically sheer, push a finger in and almost finger your hole, almost. then, when she notices that tears start forming, and you cant hold it together anymore, shed take them off slowly, rub the sleek off of your panties all over your folds. maybe, maybe shed go as far as circling your clit with your panties still in her hand just to see you beg for her to fuck you like you deserveā¦ shed messily rub her panties covered hand all over your cunt and tell you that a good girl like you should take her however she likes, and if she wants you to cum all over your panties for her, you will. when shes done teasing you, shed lick you so agonizingly slow, bring your soaking wet panties down to her own cunt and rub it while shes eating your pussy. āgonna cum for me? huh? all over your fucking panties?ā ellie loves bragging about how needy and messy you are for her, but god, shes just as desperate. she cant even hold herself together anymore, and cums all over your panties while panting and abusing her tongue on your cunt <3 š
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meeting bartender!ellie headcanons
(aka i saw a bartender tiktok and i got to thinkinā¦)
-> ok my girl is a DORK fr sheās not gonna be like āhey baby hereās ur drink u down to fuck after my shift?ā
-> sheās more the type to get so flustered when youāre ordering that she makes you repeat the entire order.
consider:
u go up to her and u look so cute she canāt even focus.
āhey, can i get two shots of tequila and a vodka cran?ā
āyeah, of course! and what shots did you say you wanted?ā
āā¦tequila.ā
āok! and what was the drink?ā
āā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.a vodka cran.ā
-> SHES SMILING BUT THE SECOND SHE TURNS AROUND TO MAKE THE DRINKS HER FACE DROPS BECAUSE OF HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS
literally like š -> š
-> she gives u ur drinks and u r like wanna take a shot with me ??? :D
(OF COURYSE SHE AWNABTBS TO TAKE A SHOT WITJ YUO ARE YOU CRAZY)
-> āuh. yeah, sure.ā
-> n then yall take the shots and the alc kinda spills down ur chin a lil and ellie is STARING cuz HELLO?)????,?,!,!,
-> after talking with her for a second u scurry off back to ur friends
-> and then you go back up a few times, ordering drinks you donāt want just so u can talk to her
-> āā¦ā¦you know iām gonna have to cut you off, youāve ordered likeā¦ 10 drinks.ā
-> āā¦.sorry, i didnāt drink them all. i just wanted to talk to you.ā
-> WHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT
-> ????? aghsjfjskfkdkfkfkdkdkdkdsklfflglclvxllvlfvldlckckc
-> āohā¦ OH.ā
-> URE LIKE OH?!;!;,!?! IS THAT ALL SHES GONNA SAY ?!!?
-> āsorry i donāt mean to botherāā u start but ellie interrupts u
-> āāNO YOURE NOT BOTHERING ME IM SORRY.ā
-> shes not very good at this so she grabs a napkin and scribbles her number on it and hands it to you
-> YOUR HANDS BRUSH AGAINST EACHOTHER AND ELLIE IS LIKE š³ SORRY
-> and the way you giggle at her AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH she could die
-> shes so flustered aww
-> āiāll text you.ā you wink
-> YESSSSSS YESSSSS YESSSSS
-> sheās so happy she could jump up and down if that was socially acceptable
-> n then u text her when she gets home from her shift and ure like letās grab lunch sometime??? š
-> she could die once again because YES SHE WANTS TO GET LUNCH WITH YOU IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION
iād prob change things around a little bit buuuttt same concept
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A FOOL'S GAME
summary - an angsty drabble of fem reader leaving an emotionally troubled ellie
warnings - angsty arguing, strong language, mentions of infidelity, sad feelings
word count - 1.4k
credits: divider credit, gif credit
a/n: written with "a pearl" by mitski in mind. def listen on replay while reading!
"If you told me that this would be the way we'd end up..." you started. But your breath caught itself on the painful lump in your throat. You began to laugh in disbelief, mostly to shake off the urge to cry. "I would have never believed you."
She couldn't help but avert her gaze. So much so, that you secretly wondered if she felt she'd turn to stone if she met your eyes. Maybe in some way, she would. She was embarrassed. Cheeks pink, ears red, jaw clenched with tension. She leaned against her desk, arms crossed, frozen almost. Eyes glued to the floor.
"And here we are. You don't want to touch me... You can't even fucking look at me."
Despite your words, Ellie remained unmoved. You began to wonder if her silence meant that she actually felt guilty, or whether it was just indignation. You knew she had a bad habit of never admitting when she was wrong.
"I never meant to hurt you," Ellie broke the silence, embarrassment in her voice, with her eyes now stuck on her busted sneakers. "I wasn't thinking and I wish I-"
"You don't get to say that," you cut her off, nearly scolding her. Her green eyes finally flew up to meet yours, and your heart sank to your stomach. "You don't get to tell me you didn't mean to hurt me and go do what you did."
"They were stupid, shitty mistakes, and I know that, and I'm sorry." Ellie rambled with pleading eyes, almost scrambling to find all the right words to make this go away. She pushed herself off the desk she was leaning on and walked toward you, a gentle hand out to hold your arm. "I don't want... I can't lose you."
A wave of dread washed over you. All you've wanted is for her to love you the way you've loved her. To want you the way you've wanted her. She used to tell you how terrified she was of losing you. But with Ellie looking at you the way she was, you couldn't help but wonder if she was only saying this now just to save her ass. You reluctantly swallowed the thought and let her have her word.
"There's a lot I don't talk about anymore and I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry things have been getting worse, and it's not that I don't want you, I just..."
"And you just what?" you scoffed, belittling Ellie's explanation. The disdain in your voice made Ellie furrow her eyebrows, hurt flashing on her features for a fleeting moment. You were almost sorry for saying anything. "All those nights staying up and laughing. You were able to sleep through the night and eat a full meal again. We used to talk about everything and nothing... what the fuck happened to us?"
Silence.
Ellie looked away and out the window at the gentle flurries of snow. She sighed deeply, chewing the inside of cheek with her eyebrows furrowed. She felt it. You were getting tired of her. All the shit she's put you through, and you had finally reached your breaking point. She knew you deserved better, but Ellie was a selfish girl in love. She would never able to tell you to leave - and mean it.
"I don't even feel real anymore."
You had always been almost convinced that if you loved her enough, the pink would return to her cheeks. That maybe, the butterflies she'd feel when her name fell from your lips would quiet the maggots eating her up inside. But even in between stolen kisses and nights spent together, sheād never spare the breath to tell you about the trouble you always knew was brewing beneath the surface. She assumed if she remained in blissful ignorance of her own feelings, it would eventually go away. No tears to be had and regretted.
But she made her own mistakes anyway. You almost didn't feel bad for her anymore.
"So you go out and do this? Instead of talking to me?" you shot back, wishing her the same sadness that sat in your chest and pooled in your eyes. You moved away from the gently placed hand on your arm, spurning any of her affection toward you. "Did it feel real when you fucked her? Was it that good? Just had to keep going back for more? Maybe I'll go fuck someone else, too. How 'bout an ex to make it even?"
Seeing your eyes become glossy and talk about sleeping with an ex stirred self-disgust in Ellie's gut. She felt backed into a corner, forced to see her own reflection. God, she felt pathetic for having put you through it all. But like clockwork, the accountability only went so far before she scornfully projected. Her eyes darkened, and she took a step back to sneer at you.
"You know what? Maybe you should. Cause this shit right here?" she fired back, gesturing to the both of you. "Maybe this was the biggest mistake I've ever fucking made."
The last words that left her mouth struck you breathless. That nasty lump rising higher in your throat stoked the nausea you felt at her words. You could tell that your silence made Ellie itch. The inner corners of your eyebrows were raised and a dejected smile spread across your lips.
"THIS? This was your biggest mistake?" you laughed through your tears incredulously. "I never know what's going on in your head, El. You'd tell me you love me and you don't want to lose me. Kiss me one day and refuse to touch me the next. Find you fucking someone else, and that this hadn't been the first time...and here I am, making more fuckin' excuses for you."
"Then stop making them!" Ellie threw her hands up and then let them down, slapping her thighs in exasperation."Jesus Christ, I said I was sorry! What the fuck else do you want me to say? I fucked up, I know!"
"You don't get it," you whispered bitterly while you shook your head gently, the tears running hot across your cheeks. "I fucking loved you, Ellie. I would've done anything for you... Who was there when Tommy couldn't even bring himself to look at you? When Dina promised you'd never see JJ again? The nights you couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat?"
"I didn't need your fucking help!" Ellie raised her voice over yours, the guilt eating away at her more quickly. "I never asked you to be there, I would've always been fine on my own. I never fucking needed you."
"...Got it." You nodded sarcastically, wiping the tears from your eyes and cheeks, snatching your backpack off of Ellie's couch. "All the hurt I put myself through to make sure you were okay? I guess that's my fault, huh?"
Ellie's heart quickened watching you grab your belongings to leave. But she stood there frozen and powerless, wanting to make it better but also wanting it all to be over. How did she manage to fuck this up so badly? She knew in the next minute or so, she'd have to watch you walk out of that door and never come back.
"You're so terrified of losing me, right?" You said whilst rummaging through a pocket of your backpack and pulling out a small black journal. It was a journal she'd given you full of just little sketches and doodles - some of you, some of you both together, some of silly things.
"Y/N. Don't. Please, let me just-"
You chucked the book at Ellie, who couldn't meet your eyes again but drew closer to you in an attempt to keep you from leaving. The book struck the side of her chest but like a brick wall, she remained there, shamefully gnawing the inside of her mouth, a strand of her auburn hair falling into her face. If you had stared at her long enough, you'd notice the tears she'd been trying to blink away.
"Fuck you, Ellie. You did this shit to yourself."
Her front door slammed behind you as you stormed out and stepped off her porch. The feeling of the frozen wind stinging your cheeks and rustling your hair was almost pleasant. Well, what now?
You said what you had to say. But the pit in your stomach only grew heavier, and you felt sick. Somehow you knew.
You knew that no matter how many times you leave, how many times she hurt you, you would always love her, like a fucking fool.
Maybe it was never truly better to have loved and lost. Maybe you would've been better off if you had never loved at all.
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