Me: look, Colindeli probably isn’t going to happen and I gotta brace for that and not expect the most dramatic and romantic scenes with them in the future...

Lou Wilson in the Adventuring Party: I THOUGHT ABOUT SAYING THAT AFTER LEAVING THE BOAT THAT COLIN SET UP FOR THEM BEFORE THEIR BREAKUP, DELI CARVED A SCAR INTO HIS CHEST WITH COLIN’S KNIFE AS A REMINDER NOT TO LET ANYONE GET THAT CLOSE AGAIN! MAKE AN ANIMATION OF DELI SITTING IN A DARK ROOM CLUTCHING THE DAGGER TO HIS HEART WHILE LINCOLN PARK MUSIC PLAYS! FIVE YEARS LATER AFTER REPLACING COLIN WITH KARNA AS HIS SKALD, BEING ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL IN WAR EXACTLY THE WAY COLIN COULDN’T STAY FOR, AND NOW FINALLY ARRIVING AT THE CULMINATION OF HIS AMBITION, DELI STILL HAS THE FUCKING KNIFE!!!

What the fUUUCK?!?!! (read the tags)

bbc merlin - 04x07 The Secret Sharer

i don't even know if i can put into words everything i want to say about this scene, especially since it's one of the few merwaine scenes we get post s3, but let me just highlight the details here.

gwaine fidgeting since the very beginning of the scene, quite literally the first thing we focus on. the little smile he gives merlin, the half-joke he throws out as the first thing he says once merlin has all but barked at him. he listens, keeps pushing in different ways, even if merlin keeps trying to shut him down - "probably don't need my help then" an invitation, not letting up even when merlin shakes his head, "here, let me see" a full offer when merlin doesn't ask for more after the "might do". his whole demeanour - prompting and taking any chance he gets, smiles and constant looks.

and then, of course - merlin. dead set on doing this alone. gwaine isn't the first one to reach out to him, but he's clearly aware that what he knows and what everyone else sees and believes are two completely different things. and yet. once he decides to ask for help, it turn into an "us" thing. it doesn't have to, he can just ask this one question and move on, but he doesn't.

and let us not miss the colours of the scene - from pale cold blues to warm toned yellows. it's warming up, it's settling back into the dynamic, it's taking the hand that's been extended to you.

dear boy is so insane to me bc even if it's not about john (and honestly I rlly dk how much I buy into the theory that it is about john- although I'd fully believe paul used john as Partial inspiration bc he loves double meaning) the fact that JOHN thought it was about john is just. soooo incredibly revealing about the relationship they had. like idk about anyone else but even if I had the world's biggest crush on my friend I would Not assume and insist that song was about me. it's genuinely so wild.

hopefully this makes sense

Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️‍🔥

YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!

so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.

and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.

but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)

anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history

If I'm not writing about our relationship as if it were a sports injury we didn't really have one I'm sorry babe

Heyy dekho toh apne coffin se uthke kon apni dukhiyaari kahani sunane aaya hai :')

:/

[witcherposting ahead—nb that this is all totally lighthearted and it's fine if you feel differently!]

anyway what i'd started to say before tumblr ate my post was that like. disclaimer that my approach to netflix witcher canon is that i fully reserve the right to cherrypick, because some of the changes they made were good but others were character assassination, and that obviously i get that if one isn't cherrypicking one does have to actually Grapple With Certain Things 🏔

but like. that said—the more 'Geralt Must Grovel for Weeks and Probably Scourge Himself, Look at What He Did to Poor Sad-Eyed Woobie Jaskier' fics i read the more i'm fucking grateful for the tiny handful where jaskier's just been like, yeah, i never bought that bullshit tbh, he was lashing out and he owes me an apology for sure but a single angry outburst does not in fact scupper an extremely well-established relationship of literally twenty years' standing in one fell swoop???

like i just. idk. imagine remembering that jaskier's a cheery irrepressible little shit and not actually as crushably low on self-esteem as all of us are. of course that would probably require *netflix* to have remembered that, so, you know, no actual shade to anyone who's been projecting that onto him! but just like. idk. they're obviously not siblings but they honestly do have that vibe in certain ways and it's just like. did you never say something overdramatic and shitty in the heat of a fight with yr sibling growing up and then after taking a bit of a breather just like. make a rueful face and apologize for yr respective roles in winding each other up and move tf on, without having, like, a whole extended OTT reparations process where you tell them repeatedly how perfect and sinless they are and how you know you're a miserable worm who doesn't remotely deserve their sunshiny presence in your life but would be so grateful if they could, possibly, somehow, see their way to forgiving you despite yr essential unworthiness—

.

this comment has me tearing up like i literally cant imagine going through that i would've gone postal

Hey y'all I'm gonna vent a minute here and then I'm gonna open myself up to advice because I'm dealing with A Thing and need to either be validated in my responses OR talked out of making a bad decision, ok here we go:

Turns out my ex (of only 2.5 months, remember) is "seeing" (fucking) my son's babysitter! 🙃

I do not know for sure if it started before the breakup. He dodged the question multiple times and got angry that I asked (to put it lightly) so I mean... kinda hard to believe him when he says it didn't start until after. But i don't know for sure and I'll never know for sure. Either way it's bullshit.

She also reached out as a friend when we broke up, so there's an extra element of backstabbing in the mix. I gave her my son's old clothes when she couldn't provide for her own kid. And even now she keeps trying to act all friendly and nice and "Oh Leyna if you need to have a conversation about this, I want that too" (like nuh uh, too late for that). Who does that???

So anyway I already have a pre-typed message I plan to send both of them this weekend when I get my son back from his dad's explaining my (very reasonable) boundaries and telling them both to essentially fuck off in the most Calm Civil voice I possibly can (and also dropping the bomb that hey guess what, there's gonna be a new babysitter! Idk who yet but fuck no he's not going there anymore)

The dilemma I now have is this: do I put them on blast? (I know what the reasonable answer is, I do. But i can't believe the majority of people in their lives both know about this AND approve, people who ARE important to my son. Like right now? I can't trust any of them...)

So yeah. Please give me thoughts, opinions, things to make me smile, literally anything at this point cause I think I'm actually in the midst of a mental breakdown 🙃

@rainyhoundanimemusic tagged me in a little thing so hi here i am again to fill it out

last song: i haven't yet listened to music today (what the fuck right?) and the last song i listened to was technically whatever played before i fell asleep last night, which was (one moment let me check) home for the summer by sarah kays (don't even know that song! the last song that played that i KNOW is in case you don't live forever by ben platt. which in retrospect is vicious)

last film: house bunny. it was incredibly stupid and very fun to watch.

currently reading (or last read): i just finished reading a YA novel called Infamous, by Lex Croucher, and i am now reading a book called Why God Won't Go Away: Brain Science & The Biology of Belief by Andrew Newberg and Eugene D'Aquili. so pretty severe genre whiplash

currently watching: come hell or high water i WILL one day finish watching supergirl. i just finished season 3. also i just started the new season of bake off and am only one episode in but loving it very much already

current obsession: i don't really know how to answer this because for once i'm not sure i have any. ive been hooked on honey revenge and their album Retrovision if that's anything? idk man there's a lot going on in my life right now i don't have the bandwidth to be obsessed with anything

i shall tag some friends, although full disclosure i'm rarely on here these days so have no idea how often other people are active. @igarbagecannoteven @glitterblazercalum @reveriesofawriter @tirednotflirting @pxrxmoore @4thbrighteststar @calumthoodshands also if you wanna do the game then consider yourself tagged and i can retroactively tag you if ya like

If you would be kind enough to pray I’d really appreciate it!

I won’t go into detail but I’ve been detoxing from my ex who I realised was mentally abusive. I haven’t seen him around for a few weeks which is why I think I’ve been having breakthrough. Everything feels odd and kind of good but then horrible and bad and wrong but then good and free again and I don’t know if it’s just the fact that I’m letting go of all the stuff he made me believe at the time or if I’m just not going to God enough or what but yeah sorry for the mini rant I’d just love it if you would x

will def be praying, friend! 🙏

Been listening to the Nothing Is Real series on Allen Klein, and while it's pretty good, there's one thing that's really been bugging me, which is the idea that if Paul went to meetings with Klein in '69 and didn't, like, burn down Apple rather than have Klein negotiate deals for the band, then it can't be true that Paul objected to him being their manager or that he was unhappy with the situation, and therefore he's a double-dealing liar. It feels like that's putting the worst possible spin on his behavior and not really considering how things looked from his perspective.

What Paul says in MYFN is that he objected to Klein from the start, but John was infatuated with the guy and the others overruled him, so he tried to make the best of it. That's consistent with what we see in Get Back, where John is raving about how amazing Klein is and Paul gets increasingly squirrelly and uncomfortable-looking after meeting with him. What were Paul's options there? Without George or Ringo's support, he only had one card to play: it's me or Klein, and if you want him, I'm out. But it's obvious that he wasn't willing to give John ultimatums in that era because he didn't think John would choose Paul or the band over Yoko and Klein, and Paul was the guy who was trying to keep them together. So he was stuck, and he was miserable. Blaming him for trying to act like a professional under the circumstances is a bit unfair. And sure, Paul trying to carry on while miserable sometimes resulted in his frustration leaking out in bits of passive aggressive behavior, but he's human in the end. He was 26/27, under tremendous pressure, trying to herd cats, and being resented for it by his friends, he married a woman he'd been dating for less than a year after breaking off a long-term relationship, suddenly had a step-daughter and a baby, then had to deal with her family's egos and issues. He was drinking too much and doing too many drugs (he mentions this euphemistically when talking about the late 60s, which makes me think he's understating the problem) and another of his friends died unexpectedly in July. He knew they needed management help, they needed someone to be the bad guy at Apple who'd cut budgets and fire freeloaders, and he recognized that Klein was good at financial negotiations, but at the same time, Klein was treating him and Linda like crap and trying to bully him, and that's not a small factor, that's a huge factor. That he bottled things up and smiled for cameras and tried to make it work until he hit a breaking point is just proof that he's a different person than John or George and that he handled stress and depression differently.

really sometimes the only way i get thru the horrible stuff is like "someday i'm gonna look back and laugh about this and it's gonna make a great story"