#DnD misadventures | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my-cat-can-slay-dragons · 11 months

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In todays session of D&D, we heard that the person we were looking for was a regular at the towns brothel, went there without a plan, and my character always just tries stuff when there’s been no plan. We guess he’d likely be in the VIP section, so I just walk up to the guards, somehow roll a 16 on persuasion, get let through, somehow roll a nat 20 on the second set of guards, and walk into a threesome. Between three people who were not the person we were looking for. Dude wasn’t in the building at all. The DM is my brother.

#I mean #don’t make a setting in a brothel if you don’t want your sister to be roleplaying an autistic gnome in a brothel #dnd misadventures #shut up Emily

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love-and-socialism · 1 year

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DnD campaign misadventures

I rescued this thread from my non-defunct twttr detailing my last campaign in DnD, because it was probably the best things I ever posted on there. So now it’s going on here.

Tonight in DnD, my character crit failed a stealth check and fell down the stairs, spilling ball bearings everywhere. #smooth

However, the adrenaline rush resulted in a series of 20s in combat. #stabby

2. Last night in DnD adventures, we smashed a frozen half-man half-bull creature that bequeathed us a key from its remains.

Me: looks like it's a musical one.

Me: it was a key in A minor-taur

@abbynormal0ne: I will KILL you

3. Tonight in DnD adventures, after killing a couple of piscine-type jailers, we found a scared human in a cell. To put them at ease, @abbynormal0ne put her hand in a skull like a puppet and went "HELLO! DON'T BE AFRAID! WE'RE NICE PEOPLE!"

Surprisingly they were not reassured.

4. Tonight in DnD adventures, we stab a rapier into this guy that makes a gurgling sound akin to the apex of the bit in a certain song by The Trashmen.

"Looks like.. blood.. is the word."

@abbynormal0ne: "Just one more time I stg."

5. Tonight in DnD, @abbynormal0ne summons a mammoth-type creature and I jump on its back while we're murdering the sahuagin sea creatures. It crit fails while trying to skewer one of them, breaking its spiky, natural weapon.

"I guess he wasn't.. up to the tusk."

6. Last night in DnD, the last sahuagin, bloodied & battered mutters "mercy". I ponder this, before firing a crossbow bolt through the back of his throat. "Looks like no mer-sea for this chap."

@abbynormal0ne, exhausted, wiping fish flesh from her face "I think he wanted mercy from your prattle."

7. After losing half of my health to a lightning strike from this dragon, I jumped on the back of the scaly bastard and shanked them.

"Now who's doing shocking behaviour."

We'll be having dragon bbq for weeks.

8. Tonight in DnD! We were in an asylum, trying to get info from a surly orderly. She was not forthcoming. And even less so when I asked "is there like a merch shop where I can get one of those natty white jumpers?"

9. Tonight in DnD! I have to disguise myself bc I've gone back to a place I'm wanted. And not in the good way. @abbynormal0ne suggests a costume. I acquire a hat of disguise.

DM: what do you look like now?

Me: This incarnation of Demis Roussos! Right down to the glitter boots!

10. The other night in DnD! @abbynormal0ne asked a shopkeep for a particular potion, seud in blue. Amazingly they had two of them. I took them and put in my footwear for safe-keeping.

"Don't step on my blue seud shoes." I warn her. She asks the shopkeep for a poison. I'm not sure if it's for me or for her.

11. Last night in DnD! We get asked by the big cheese of New Seaton if our party has a collective name...

MisinterPirates

One hour later and this is the best that we came up with jfc hahahaha

12. We decide to rescue some slaves from a sinking ship. We are attacked by a big fuck off shark that takes a decent chunk out of my torso. Ouch. "Can I just fey step back onto my boat?" I can.

"TTFN, you pointy-teethed dickhead!"

After one round of shooting at this chompy bastard. I finally find a use for my two-handed trident and full of gusto (the name of the wine) foolheartedly jump BACK into the water, stabbing the shark like a mad vaulter.

"This will surely fin-ish you off!"

It did not. Whoops.

#DnD #DnD5e #DnD misadventures #puns

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lexifold · 1 year

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Is a dungeon full of plants a good time for our ranger to reveal that her divine intervention controls plants?

#dnd #our dm went and made himself a drink #dnd misadventures #dnd session

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t4tav · 2 months

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Astarion joined our latest dnd session 🙄

#astarion #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion acunin #dnd #he dont know how to play but he keeps trying to convince the other party members to stab one another #also we rolled for dick sizes this game bc our dm drunk asf and couldnt pay attention. i let astarion roll a d12 with his tiny doll hands #he rolled an 11. right alongside our lizardfolk barbarian #good for him #misadventures

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syls-chaos · 7 months

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The spirit of DnD is how my party just spent a full half hour licking random lights For Science.

We didn't have to lick them.

And there was no reason to science.

Nevertheless; our DM has been forced to endure this purgatory

#Dnd #Chaos #No one has the braincell #We need to figure out the Tree Rules #Misadventures with Crown and the Claw

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yarrow-leaf · 8 days

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Finally beating my fear of posting art online 👁️👁️ (I hope)

#dnd #my art #lost mine of phandelver #misadventures #<-my old campaign tag tihi #this piece is like 2 yrs old by now lol

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chaoticincompetent · 3 months

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We were two people down for last week's game of D&D, so we decided just to fight some trolls and postpone the plot until we were all together.

It became... an interesting session.

The warforged druid displayed hidden artistic depths. The elven sorceress (who claims to be a pacifist) was brutal in combat. My goblin artificer admitted to a small spot of casual treason. And then our skeleton bard broke her heart.

#character art #dnd art #dungeons and dragons #misadventures in eberron

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threestarsbazaar · 2 years

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Swordtember Day 05 Edible Today’s sword must be handled carefully unless you plan on making the purchase, as those with sticky fingers get a certain punishment here at the bazaar…

#swordtember #swordtember2022 #candy #candy kingdom #candy island #adventure time #the misadventures of flapjack #Dungeons and Dragons #dnd #dnd art #dnd homebrew

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whimsicalwhespir · 1 year

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Doodle dump!

#omori #omori fanart #omori spoilers #misadventures #the misadventures of gravity danger #kaar #sky cotl #sky children of the light #dnd

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nianeyna · 1 year

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at dnd: our lizardfolk party member has high deception, so she should be the one to infiltrate the guardhouse and convince them their magic-detecting artifact is faulty and needs to be swapped out.

me: WITH A HARD HAT AND HIGH-VIS VEST, RIGHT? AND A CLIPBOARD??? DM PLEASE PLEASE PLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAASE CAN PEARLIE HAVE A CLIPBOARD 🥺

DM: ......................

.......I'll allow it.

#misadventures #dnd

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friend-crow · 1 year

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"You hit the zombie again and it goes 'ahh' but you're starting to get the feeling that it says that about everything. 🙄"

-@hopefulattempt

quality DMing

#DnD #misadventures

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