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honeypirate · 3 years

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Kunikida Doppo x Fem!Reader

5495 words. I went hard for this guys.

I took Ango’s ability for the reader because I like it and so this is now an AU where the reader has the Discourse on Decadence ability and takes memories from objects touched.

I know they don’t all live together but they do in this fic haha at least Kunikida, Dazai, and you are roommates although you’re hardly ever there together. Half of the time Dazai doesn't even sleep there. You’re the only one that really frequents, if you didn't all share rent you would assume you lived there alone save for late night run ins in the kitchen and bathroom.

Warning: a couple swears.

Being in love with a man who was meticulous for following perfect schedules and plans was fine, you loved the structure and appreciated the consistency, but what really hurt, what really felt like your heart was ripped from your body with Akutagawa’s gift, was the fact that he had 58 conditions which he required for a spouse, and you only had 53 of them. You knew you failed his test, failed the expectations he had for a partner, and that someone as meticulous as him would never change his ways for someone who wasn’t above and beyond perfect when it came to those 58 ideals, but damn, you came so close, and that stung like a bitch.

You had asked him one day what they were, out of curiosity when it naturally came up from Dazai teasing him about it, he showed you it with pleasure, and you noted mentally the boxes you filled, your heart cracking into more pieces with every box you didnt fill. 5, 5 things about you that are failures. You couldn't help but hate the number.

You appeared at the door at 8am, right on the dot, the moment you were scheduled to be there and not a minute sooner or later. He really did like that about you, the fact that he never had to doubt you, he trusted that you always were where he scheduled you, you were the only one on the team that followed his orders to the T. “let’s go y/n we have to investigate a murder and your gift will really help” you nod with a smile “ready when you are”

“Why did you want to join the detective agency?” he asks, he wasn't a huge part of your entrance exam and missed the questioning part Dazai did. You sigh as you think, remembering the day you joined 7 months ago, clasping your hands behind your back as you walk, “at first it was because I wanted to rebel, my parents wanted me to hide my gift and act like their perfect child, I dropped out of college and decided to train my gift, ultimately leading me to you guys. After I learned about how other gifteds are using their powers to help people I realized that I was using my gift poorly. I felt an overwhelming need to protect others, to protect my city, if i have this gift and shirk the responsibility it comes with, then it is just as much my fault if innocents die when I could have been the one to help them”

He’s quiet for a while before he speaks again “that is admirable” is all he says before you get to your destination. If he was being honest, your answer was inspiring and he knows he would be writing it down in his notes later.

You do your investigating, using the memories from the objects on the scene to find the culprit easily, finishing the job quicker than he had planned leaving you with approximately 14 minutes to spare in the schedule. As he finishes writing down some notes you appear beside him “we have like 12-13 minutes left in your schedule so i got us some roasted bonito. I didn’t see you eat like you normally do so i figured..” you shrug and hand him the food you bought him. He takes it from your gloved hand silently, his gaze piercing and prudent, but his heart was racing, you were so kind and always looked out for him. He appreciated your care but didn’t know how to react to it. “Efficient because we can eat it on our way back. Finishing early is always nice, I love the free moments where my mind is able to relax and process things.” You say and He watches you take a bite and hum softly as you appreciate the flavor. He makes a mental note to schedule in an extra 2-3 minutes on missions he goes on with you just so he can give you a second to breathe if you need it.

You get back to the office with a few extra minutes to spare, you head to your desk to fill out paperwork and he watches you go, wondering why his heart seems to beat harder now that you left him. “Oooh does someone have a crush” Dazai says quietly as he teases Kunikida “I don’t know what you’re talking about. She is my coworker and besides,” “she lacks 5 of your spousal requirements yeah yeah. Maybe you're just a little too uptight with those 5, has anyone ever even gotten that close before?” Dazai looks at him with a smirk and Kunikida just walks off mumbling something about paperwork.

The rest of the day went by as all of the rest seemed to, slow and filled with paperwork and sometimes smaller missions, you didn't mind though, in the office you had a straight line to watch Kunikida, and on missions you were helping people. You didn’t mind slow days, it meant no one was dying.

You decided to break your routine, deciding to treat yourself to something special since your heart has been hurting for so long. You had a plan of getting something for dinner, doing a little indulgent spending, and then going home to drink a glass of wine and have a facemask and a movie night. You told Naomi of your plan since you two were close like sisters, not in her definition of a sibling though.

You had dinner at your favorite restaurant, eating in the booth with the window that showed the sunset, then went to your favorite stores, buying a new silk red pajama set with shorts that had white lace around the leg openings. You bought a new red pencil skirt for work and a necklace that would match it.

When you get home it’s so quiet you assume no one is there, you put your things away and shower before changing into your new pajamas, you had to admit, you looked delectable in them. You got a glass of wine and then took the bottle with you to your room to watch a movie. After about two glasses and half of the movie you felt a little tired so you decided to go to bed, you brought your glass and the wine back to the kitchen, wanting to put the bottle away in its cupboard and wash your cup. Although you only had two glasses you could feel your skin buzzing from the alcohol.

As you go to put the bottle away you get startled when a voice speaks in the dark “What are you doing up so late?” His deep voice makes you jump and drop the glass and the bottle onto the floor around your bare feet, wine and glass going everywhere. “Hang on” he says and walks over, gently and easily lifting you up to sit on the countertop behind you as he grabbed towels and a broom to clean up the mess “i’m sorry Kunikida, you scared me but I should have been more careful” you whisper, why does the darkness of night always make you feel like you should whisper? “I’m sorry for frightening you, you have nothing to apologize for” he finishes cleaning up the mess, throwing out the glass and paper towels before turning back to you. “You never answered my question” he says and you smile sweetly “just putting back the wine” you say innocently and a smile threatens to tug on his lips.

“Oh you got wine on you” he says and before he realizes his actions he’s kneeled down on one knee, holding your foot gently and cleaning away the wine that has sprayed up your leg. “Ouch” you say and pull your foot away “what hurts?” he asks and then turns your foot gently “you have a piece of glass in your foot” he says and then gently pulls it free “wait here I am going to go get the first aid kit” before you can object he’s gone, down the hall to the bathroom.

When he comes back you’re swinging your feet softly and humming along to a song stuck in your head, he pauses for a moment at the doorway, noting how long and beautiful your legs looked in your new pajamas, you made his mouth dry

He came back, kneeling down once again to hold your foot, cleaning it with some peroxide before applying some neosporin and a bandaid, his cheeks flushed as he uses all of his willpower not to run his hands up your legs and grip your thighs, pushing your legs apart as he stands between them, kissing your soft- he cuts those thoughts short, you didn't meet the requirements, you weren’t the one.

When he stood you followed what the alcohol in your veins was telling you, leaning into him you lay your head against the tall man's chest as you hugged him. “Thank you for always protecting me Kunikida” his hands find their way to your back, he can smell your shampoo and the natural scent of your skin, it's intoxicating to him.

He had two choices, push you as far away as he could and reprimand you even though he is just as at fault, or embrace you and throw his list out the window. Maybe Dazai was right and he was too stuck up with the list, he was sure about one thing, that you were the only one who almost filled the entire list, the other five being self indulgent he could cross them out and then you would be the one. He was so confused, his life was his book, he was his book, his ideals were everything. Good thing ideals can change and evolve with time.

You pull back and push him away softly before hopping down from the counter, your hands on his shoulders as you look up at him. He smiles down at you, a lovely smile that looked so genuine, filled with unspeakable loneliness in his eyes. You reach up and untie the crimson ribbon around his neck and stand on your tiptoes, kissing his cheek/chin and whispering a goodnight before walking off back to your bedroom. If he reprimanded you tomorrow you would blame the drinks and claim to be a lightweight.

The next morning you wear your new crimson red pencil skirt, a white blouse tucked in, and the ribbon you took from Kunikida, around your neck twice and tied in bow, like the perfect choker that puts the necklace you bought the day before to shame. You slip on your black heels and exit your room, heading down to the kitchen to have a coffee and some breakfast, you’re usually up and out the door before everyone else so that you can take the long way to work, through the park to see the spring blooming.

“You’re up early” his voice shocks you again, but this time you keep a hold on your coffee cup “I could say the same to you, I’m always up at this time. Coffee?” he nods with a small smile and you turn around to poor him some from the pot you made, he never knew who made coffee, he knew that it was made when he got up but assumed you just put it on a timer, not that you were already up at this hour since you came into work right on time when you were scheduled. He wonders what you do with your mornings.

You hand him a cup and he takes it with a smile “thank you y/n” he says and you nod “no problem” you go back to making your breakfast, pretending like last night’s incident isn’t fresh on your mind, until your toe kicks a piece of glass that was stuck under the lower cabinet. You crouch down, picking up the piece as Kinikida comes around “you’re not one to miss something Kunikida” you hold it up with a sly smile “If i didn’t know better, I’d say I really flustered you last night” (if i didn't know about your list is more like it) his heart was racing, you did fluster him, “nonsense” he says, taking the glass and disposing of it, pretending to not notice the necklace you had made from his ribbon around your neck, or the way that you looked practically kneeling in front of him.

You laugh as you stand, going back about your business, wrapping your breakfast up and throwing your bag over your shoulder before grabbing your travel coffee mug and sending him another, albeit fake this time, smile, “nonsense, I know I know, I don't even make the list. 58. I’ll see you at the office, Kunikida.” You bow slightly before leaving him in the kitchen, just as flustered as you had him last night, if you had pushed just a little more, he would have confessed, confessed that he has practically rewritten his list around you. Part of him wonders where you’re off to, you’re not scheduled for another hour and a half and he knows for a fact the walk takes ten minutes. He sighs, finishing his coffee, if he wanted to know he would just ask you later.

The day went by smoothly, you did your missions, did your paperwork, and went home. Sadly though, because of a fight during a mission, you lost the ribbon you took from Kunikida and in turn got a ring of budding bruises and burns because of the villain using it to try and strangle you. What was worse was that you weren’t able to even see Kunikida for the rest of the day.

You walked up the steps of the home slowly, making sure you didn’t wake anyone, if they were even here, it’s past 11 now, your last fight took a while and so did the paperwork. If you shower quickly you can give yourself at least 20 minutes of time to relax and process before going to sleep, already hating your morning alarm.

You head to your room, take off your clothing and hang them up, placing the hanger by the door so that you can drop it by the dry cleaners in the morning. Once inside the bathroom you start the shower to warm up, looking at yourself in the mirror you gently touch your neck, hissing at the pain and quickly retreating your fingers. Sighing, you run your fingers through your hair, blood dried and caked in a few places making your fingers get stuck on tangles, you grab your comb and take it into the shower with you, combing through gently after it’s been washed and conditioned.

You sigh again, grabbing the wine bottle, before you even reach for a glass you think better of it, uncorking it and drinking straight from the bottle. The sound of the bottom of the bottle scraping as you placed it down against the marble sounded loud in the quiet, dark room, but compared to the sound of the feet stomping down the stairs it was silent.

You take another drink then gasp as the light turns on in the kitchen, causing you to yet again drop what you were holding on to the floor, the bottle shattering around your feet and your head hanging, this isn't what you needed, something else to keep you from sleep. Before you can even think of bending down to clean up the mess, you are lifted to the counter again, the same as the previous night, but what made it different was the gentle fingers, turning your face up to look at him.

“We have to stop meeting like this” you say, trying to diffuse the tension, but by the way his lips turned down into a frown, made you break, you couldn’t get reprimanded right now, not by him, not by the one person you wish would comfort you. You tear your head from his grasp, looking back down at your lap as the tears gather in your eyes and your throat tightens in what feels like agony.

“Stay here” he says as he disappears, once he’s gone your face scrunches up, failing to hold back tears anymore you cover your face with your hands, muffling your cries and hiding your face even though the hot tears just slid down your palms and off your chin, hitting your thighs silently.

When he gets back he pauses, seeing you look so vulnerable, at your end, he’s never seen you like this and it absolutely kills him. he knows his damn list, knows what he has said before, but somehow, regardless of his words or actions, his heart has chosen for itself. He crosses the room in seconds, sets the first aid kit down beside you, and wraps his arms around you, pulling you to his chest.

your hands find their way around his back, grabbing fistfulls of the shirt he was wearing, your face buried in his chest as your tears soaked through the fabric. He held you tight, his hand smoothing down your hair as your sobs wracked through you. When you were done crying he held you longer, waiting for when you were ready, when you would pull away.

All he can think about as he holds you was how pissed off he was when Dazai told him you were attacked, how pissed off he was at the villian you fought. But so proud of you for your win, for your fighting skills, he was told you were almost killed, almost strangled to death with your necklace, the necklace that was made from his ribbon. It made him angry because he wasn't there to keep that from happening, he knew you were strong but he felt this pit in his stomach, that he was so close to losing you and you didn't even know that he cared so much for you. The way Dazai looked at him made him angrier, all he could do was change the subject and finish paperwork. He was worried about you. When he heard you in the shower he was grateful you were home, he resisted going to you when he heard you back in your room, told himself to go to sleep when he heard your footsteps go back down the steps. But when he didn’t hear you come back in a few minutes he couldn’t control himself, running down the steps as quick as he could, he couldn't help it, he needed to make sure you were okay.

When you pulled back from him you felt embarrassed, “Sorry Kuni-” he tilts your head up to look at him “you have nothing to be sorry about” he whispers, brushing your tears away and then leans down to kiss your forehead. You gasp in shock as he acts like this was a normal thing between you two, looking at him with wide, bloodshot eyes as he grabs the first aid kit. He takes out the Neosporin and then puts some on his fingers before gently rubbing some on your neck, you hiss and pull away from the pain “I’m sorry” he says and you shake your head before taking his other hand, holding it as you tilt your face away to expose your neck better in the light.

He frowns as he sees the extent of damage your neck took. “I’m sorry for taking your ribbon. Karma, i guess” you whisper through gritted teeth as he gently applies the cream to your neck, the broken bottle and spilled wine forgotten about for the time being. “Hush” he says and squeezes your hand, he moves to the other side of your neck and you roll your head to keep the correct side of the wound in the light. His touch feels nice on your neck, his gentle cool fingers against your angry red, wounded neck, you sigh softly, a sweet sound to his ears. He squeezes your hand again as he finishes his work and you drop it, turning your face to look at him.

“You can have any ribbon of mine you want” he says calmly as he grabs a hand towel from the counter and crouches down, wiping up the wine carefully. You look down at him with your eyebrows raised “Kunikida?” He looks up at you from your feet “what?” He responds and you chuckle softly, your stuffy nose changing the sound “why are you being so nice to me?” He looks back down to his cleaning so you don’t see his blushing cheeks, his heart beating wildly, “what do you mean? I’m a nice guy” he says and you laugh “you are. But you’re making me feel special, that’s usually not your M.O. I mean I’m not even that worthy by your standards.” You say and you feel your heart crack at finally saying the truth out loud.

He sighs, the weight in the room heavy as he finishes cleaning up the wine and glass, just throwing away the glass towel, making a mental note to buy a replacement tomorrow. He walks back over to where you are, still sitting on the counter, looking down at your toes and focusing on the cool tile under your palms and the way the heat in your neck throbs.

He places his palms against your knees, gently opening them to stand between them, you gasp as he places his fingers under your chin and tilts your face up to look at him. He looks fiercely serious and your eyes flick down to his lips for a second before meeting his eye again, blushing as he smirks at your actions.

“Y/n” he starts, his voice deep and as serious as he looks, you don’t know if he’s going to reprimand you or not. “Where do you go in the morning before work?” he asks and a chuckle bubbles out your throat “Kunikida, here I thought you were going to kiss me but instead you wanted to ask me about my morning ritual? Come with me in the morning and you can see” he nods, his cheeks pink “okay I will” he says and then picks you up easily into his arms “what are you doing? Oh god please don’t drop me” he chuckles as you cling to him and doesn’t say anything as he carries you upstairs to your bedroom, tucking you in and kissing your forehead, successfully confusing the hell out of you as you watch him leave your room “we’ll talk over breakfast. Get a good rest” he says as he closes your door behind him.

The next morning you’re up a little earlier than usual, excited to have Kunikida accompany you before work. You dress in a dark green pencil skirt with a cream blouse tucked in and black heels. You layer a couple long gold necklaces, making sure to avoid the still red and bruising marks, and put on some matching earrings, you style your hair up in a neat bun, leaving out a few whispies to frame your face. You put on a little makeup to accentuate your features before leaving your bedroom and taking along your clothes to drop off at the cleaners. When you get downstairs Kunikida is already there, pouring you a cup of coffee.

Your stomach flips when you see him, your breath hitching as you watch him pour the coffee into your travel mugs. You feel your face flush as he looks up to you in the doorway “goodmorning Y/n” he says, setting the pot down and walking over to you. He reaches out and gently takes your chin in his hand, tilting your head back to examine your neck. “Let’s put more medicine on this, it will probably take away some of the pain.”

“Should I sit on the counter again?” your voice was low and teasing, your hand coming up to rest on his chest. His heart beat is so loud in his ears he hopes you can’t feel it under your palm on his chest.

Your breath hitches as you gaze up at him, his eyes flicking to your lips as you stand close together in the kitchen. “Yes that might be wise” he says and places his hands on your hips as he leads you around to the island behind him, your butt bumps into the counter and he swiftly lifts you back to the countertop. You chuckle, steadying yourself by holding his shoulders.

“I’m starting to think you like me up here” you tease, smiling at him, the height of the counter making you almost eye to eye.

His cheeks dust a light shade of pink as he pushes up his glasses, “i’m just trying to take care of you since it was my ribbon that did this to you”

He gently grabs your chin again, looking into your eyes for a moment, the tension in the air thick as you smiled sweetly, his tongue wets his bottom lip and your eyes flick down to them, when you look back up at him his eyes are dark and you can tell he wants to kiss you, a soft chuckle escapes your lips and it seems to shake him out of it. He turns your head gently and grabs the neosporin.

“Thank you Kunikida. I’m sure i will heal quicker because of your care.” you whisper as he begins on the other side. “I surely hope so.” he states. Your hands are on your lap as you play with your fingers, waiting patiently for him to finish.

“Are you ready to see what I do in the morning?” you ask when he finishes his work, your eyes finding his again. He nods “yes, I am truly excited to go with you.” You place your hands on his shoulders and slip off the counter, pressing yourself against him you stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek “thank you. For the care and the coffee” You use your thumb to softly wipe the lip gloss from his cheek before slipping past him, grabbing your coffee and slipping your bag across your shoulder and grabbing last night's clothes.

You take a sip of your coffee and then smile at him “Ready?” you ask and he nods, your bright smile making his heart race as he picks up his coffee and bag and follows you out of the kitchen.

You walk the opposite direction from the office and he quirks his eyebrow at you but says nothing as he follows, his stomach in nervous excited knots. He takes a sip of his coffee, hoping the hot bean liquid would help him relax.

After you drop off your clothes you take him to the bread shop a few blocks away, getting a bagel for breakfast where he opted for a croissant. You showed him your favorite building, a small home that was ancient and still standing surrounded by the tall glass buildings and businesses. You stopped for a moment to talk to the lovely old lady who lived there, she was always tending her flower garden when you passed in the morning and you became good friends with her.

“Who is this? Your sweetheart?” she asks and you chuckle “This is Kunikida, we work together” you say with a small smile and she looks at you knowingly “Oh honey if i had a coworker who looked at me the way he looked at you,” she doesn't finish the sentence, she just sends you a pointed look causing your cheeks to flush as you chuckle, Kunikida just watches you with a smile, loving how cute you look when you blush.

The next stop was the park, since it is the spring the flowers are in bloom and it all looks pretty, you sit down at your usual bench that overlooks the majority of the area, the sun in the sky warming your shoulders as the shadows of the trees dance across your features, Kunikida sits by you, drinking in your presence as he watches you truly enjoy every moment you are in.

“You said we would talk today. Is now a good time or maybe later during lunch? That is if we don’t get last minute missions” you finish your coffee and place your cup in your bag. He sighs, looking out across the park and he pushes up his glasses “You have perplexed me.” he says you laugh, a little confused. You turn to him and watch him, waiting for him to continue.

“I am my ideal. Ideals that mean everything. I have my protocol and I stick to it no matter what. Everything is planned, work is structured. It is how I thrive. I have these ideals and requirements. But then you joined the group and slowly you have captured my heart.” he turns his head to look into your eyes now, they are full of raw emotion that leaves you speechless.

“Kuni-” he takes your hand and it silences you “My list” he says and reaches up to wrap your whispies around his finger “all it has on it now is you”

Your heart stops and your breath catches as he confesses his feelings, this man who is all ideals and protocol, who you have been in love with since you started working with, who you never thought you would have a chance with, is holding your hand and telling you that his only requirement for a partner, is that it is you.

“What about your list of 58? This is very unlike you Kunikida” you whisper, your heart going positively wild at his confession, you never thought he would be the one to change part of his ideal. It was completely out of character. “You are hundreds, thousands of things that make my life sweeter. Who needs 58 when you give me all” your breath catches and he leans down, pressing his forehead into yours.

“Please tell me you feel this too” you chuckle, your hand coming to rest on his cheek “I feel this too. Kunikida I-” he captures your lips with his, a kiss that has been built up with tension over the past few days, you sigh and reach up, your hand ghosting over his cheek and neck before landing on his pony, wrapping the strands around your fingers. His free hand is cupping your cheek gently, his fingers brushing against your skin as his tongue brushes against your bottom lip, you sigh as you touch your tongue to his, the feeling of electricity coursing through your veins.

Your phone beeps and you groan, pulling back from him as you look down at it, reading the message that has come through, his hand was still playing with your hair.“What is it?” you sigh and look up at him, forgetting about how close your faces were until your noses brushed “Dazai says to come in as soon as possible so we should go now-” he pecks your lips softly and stands, pulling you up with him

“Always more work to do” he says and you smile, he was right as per usual. He holds out his hand and you take it with a smile, lacing your fingers together as you continue your walk. “Are we going to tell the others?” You ask, really unsure yourself about what was best “yes. There will be paperwork to do but I’ve had it on my desk for a while now” you chuckle “you have?!” He nods “ Dazai gave them to me. He knew how I felt before I did” you laugh “Dazai always knows. He caught me looking at you once and I had to promise him if you didn’t feel the same that I had to help him with his suicide mission, just so he wouldn’t tell you my feelings first” you both make mental notes to talk to Dazai. You stop outside the doors and pull him down into another soft kiss, when you pull back you smile up at him and he chuckles “be safe today” he says as he looks over your neck again and you nod “yes sir” you say and chuckle at the emotion that flashes in his eyes you lean forward “i wish we had to time to explore that. Too bad we have to work” you kiss his neck and then pull back, opening the door and walking into the building chuckling. Daizai watching with a knowing smirk from the window above.

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masked-buffoon · 3 years

Text

Chapter 3.5: No Moral nor Decency (Part 1)

Warnings: violence, murder (cold-blooded), gory details

Author notes: I’m happy to start that short story which ended up becoming a whole important part of “Seeking”! Still, it is not the fourth chapter because I was attached to its first existence as a one-shot... Please enjoy!

Last note: the song mentioned exists; its title is “Yurikago no Uta”, a japanese lullaby. I simply took its translation!

"A canary sings

A cradle song

Sleep, sleep,

Sleep, child!

Above the cradle,

The loquat fruits sway

Sleep, sleep,

Sleep, child!"

The powerful thunderstorm which soaked Yokohama in a heavy rain and covered the town with greyish clouds was a tourment for this young mother, who was struggling to make her baby sleep. Her eyes were circled — just like mine — her body was weakened — just like mine — she seemed to be exhausted, and I was sure she craved for sleep at this late hour of the night — just like me. What was the difference between this woman and the lost thing I was...? It was so simple, and yet this little something she had was an unreachable Eden in my eyes: happiness. Her tired eyes shone brightly with this peculiar light, her lips were turned upwards as she looked lovingly at her child and her moves were full of delicacy and care...

Another rumbling of thunder awoke the baby, who started to cry again. I took the small box of pills from my pocket and put a pain reliever between my teeth, before closing the container firmly. I was drenched by the rain, the result of observing that strange sight through the window of the room, on the second floor of the house, yet it did not bother me the slightest. Strangely, I was drawn to that scene and could not detach my eyes from the obvious love between that mother and that newborn.

"A squirrel rocks

The cradle by its rope

Sleep, sleep,

Sleep, child!"

I sighed. A happy family... A pure woman who had just started to discover the joys and troubles of being a mother... An innocent, immaculate baby who, I assumed, was not even three months old... Their only crime was to be the family of a traitor; a corrupt politician who had always supported us, the Port Mafia, by suppressing proof of our crimes, secretly legalising some of our activities and expanding our network within the government. Several days ago, he had declared he would not do it anymore, for he found it too risky...

The only thing he had forgotten was that betraying the Port Mafia was even more "risky", as he would say it.

"Dreams in a cradle,

With the yellow moon

Shining down

Sleep, sle-"

I broke the window thanks to a powerful kick, which sent sheds of glass everywhere in the room. The lovely lullaby was interrupted, replaced by the gasp of fear escaping the mother's throat, and even the baby stopped crying. The rain and the wind rushed through the window as I landed on the soft carpet with dexterity, right in front of the young man and her baby. The mission that had been given to me by my superior started at this very moment, and I did not have the right to fail. The floor cracked under my weight as I slowly advanced towards the people I was supposed to kill, pulling one of my guns out. The mother's eyes were no longer shining in happiness as they were looking at me, terrified yet intrigued, an odd mix of fright and questioning I did not dislike. Human beings were curious animals. Their ability to follow any white rabbit they saw would often lead them to death, and it was no different for that person. She wanted to know who I was, why I was there, a weapon in my hand, just in front of her. And at the same time, she wanted to run away. Animalistic instincts, remnants of our existence as beasts, often clashed with our overly conscious reason. That was why that woman could not move an inch when I crouched in front of her, pointing my gun to her head. She was trembling, hands gripping onto her silent baby, as tears rolled onto her cheeks abundantly. I could easily hear the plea she was addressing me.

"Please... Whoever you are..."

She was another human trying to save her own life... I had stopped expecting anything from my fellows, too disappointed in their selfishness and egotistical behaviour. Even parents were unable to love their children if money was involved. The reality of that world disgusted me greatly. I glanced at her child, wondering if she would be able to kill him if I were to suggest it would save her life. There were other people who had not hesitated to do so...

"Don't..."

"Don't kill him...!! Don't kill my child...!! I don't know who you are, or what you want, but I beg you, don't take my son's life...! Kill me if you wish, but don't take my son's life...!" She begged me, throwing herself at my feet.

My eyes widened, and I practically dropped my gun to the ground. She was not lying. Her words matched her exact thoughts. She really did want to save her child... She was able to love... And, more importantly, she was willing to sacrifice herself for her baby. I had never witnessed such sincere feelings.

I clenched my jaw. I had to regain my composure. Even the slightest failure could lead me to my own end, and I could not afford to die just yet... Why did I cling so desperately onto life, despite being cursed since my birth with an unwanted ability which had made me hated by my parents? Why did I not want to die yet, whereas I was aware the only thing which would welcome me by the end of the mission would be a cold glare and curt orders? Why did I not escape that tiring and restless life of mine, instead of struggling like a fish one would have gotten out of water? All I could do was turning, wiggling and jumping in hope to get back to the wonderful life, vainly. I was suffocating, but I was still holding onto life with all the pitiful will remaining in my heart. And if I had to kill people to achieve this purpose, surely would it not be too expensive to buy myself some sleep. I too, after all, was only interested in surviving and unable of love.

For a second, however, I hesitated. The thought of letting them run away crossed my mind, but I could not be too overwhelmed. As soon as Dazai-san had ordered me to warn the politician, they had been doomed to die by my hands.

Without emitting a word, I coldly pressed the barrel to the mother's head. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and fear was visible in her eyes, but she kept begging for her newborn child, and I felt my hand tremble, finger unable to press the trigger. The worst was being to read her thoughts. Her maternal love slapped me, crushed me mercilessly and I was submerged by the waves of her affection, heart torn by these powerful emotions. Nevertheless... Nevertheless, far from making me back away, it angered me. I really had had the worst of luck... That newborn, were he to be left alive, would have grown surrounded by loving parents, in a warm house, with kind friends to support him through any hardships... Why had I had nothing of those? Why did I have nothing at all? I pulled the trigger, harshly. As her blood and pieces of brain splashed onto me, I found myself oddly laughing, contemplating my hands reddened by the warm liquid and feeling parts of her cognitive organ on my skin. However... It was shakily that I took another painkiller, before turning toward the baby, who was still held in his mother's caring arms. I noted, quite surprised, that the woman's grip was strong, as though trying to protect her baby, even from death. His big, terrified eyes stared at me in awe, and the thunder managed to frighten him even more. What a strange sight it should have been, a mafioso drenched in blood facing a pure and innocent child. With a slight smile, I grazed my reddened index finger against the skin of his cheek, tainting the snow-like flesh with sticky and scarlet blood. He giggled.

He suffered the same treatment as his mother; head blown off without any resistance. The main matter was not to get rid of those innocent people anymore; it was to think about a way to make this politician understand who he had provoked. The puddles of blood and stains on the wall were meaningful enough but... They did not serve the purpose of warning him. I did not want to show a massacre, but to menace the man who had dared to turn his back to the organisation. Had he not been an important pawn of our chessboard, he would already have been found, jaw broken and chest pierced by three bullets. I needed him to feel threatened.

Steadily, without even bothering to remove my shoes since the inhabitants had been killed, I made my way toward the kitchen. Surgeons preferred scalpels to cut bodies, butchers had a liking for bigger knives. Human flesh was no different from meat, so my choice of weapon was not completely wrong. I only hoped it would be sharp enough to make my job easier. I had the troubling feeling that I had already taken too much time, and I did not want to be punished by the executive for being too slow. I had to get to work quickly.

The task was complicated. I was no doctor nor was I familiar with medical matters. Human anatomy seemed like a foreign language to me, and I only had common knowledge to help me accomplish my mission. Swiftly, I cut the mother's chest, got bothered by the rib cage, then, after struggling in the blood, finally managed to locate the heart. It was still warm, nuzzled in between her lungs, but it did not beat. It would be perfect hung on the ceiling, right in front of the entrance door. The baby was too small to use, so I imagined a scenery; I would put the two in the bed, cover their face with the blanket, and leave the puddles of blood in the other room. If the traitor did not scream, shout and cry upon coming back from work, then he was even less human than I was. Hopefully, it would be enough for him to comply. Without much more consideration, I left the knife on the crime scene, not quite afraid of being arrested by the police. Not only would I not mind, but I also knew such a thing would never happen. The man would never call the authorities to denounce a crime he was aware of the author of, simply because he did not ignore he would be killed if he revealed the Port Mafia was behind this. Besides, he would also need to admit to have been a collaborator, which would earn him a few years in prison as well. That crime would remain a secret only spread in the underworld.

Since I had perfectly completed my mission, I could go back to the headquarters to make my report to my superior, the young executive Dazai Osamu-san. One last time, I glanced at the room. It was such a mess... Blood was splattered on the walls, on the carpet, on the curtains, the window had been broken and the rain had soaked the floor. I sighed slightly and picked a small plush toy up. It had been spared from the massacre... Ever since the killing of the Ogawa family, I had had that voice, whispering in my mind that I would never be able to redeem myself for the deeds I committed, and I knew it spoke the truth. With time, I believed I would get accustomed to it and face my future; I would burn in the flames of hell for eternity once that life would be over. Without looking back, I shoved the toy in my pocket and jumped out of the window.

More painkillers was a luxury I would gladly indulge in once I would be back.

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#bsd #bsd oc #bsd fanfic #bsd dazai #bsd imagines #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs oc #dazai osamu

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alithedrawer · 4 years

Text

Ranpoe Oneshot

A date with Karl

"Thank you so much Ranpo!" Poe said as he looked down at his rival and friend.

"It's no problem!" Ranpo responded as Karl got on his shoulder, glaring at his owner. "But remember to bring some snacks as payment!"

Poe nodded. "Of course. I did come to you on short notice after all."

"Speaking of which, why did you come and give Karl to me? You usually keep him around you at all times." He petted the raccoon on his shoulders. He could figure out the answer without asking easily but he was too lazy to.

"Well you see…" Poe fidgeted with his fingers, "we got into a little argument." Karl glared at him again before turning away.

"Eh?" Ranpo questioned, slight surprise in his voice. "That's rare for you."

"Yeah... Anyways thank you again for taking care of him for the day," he bowed a bit before going to the entrance of the Agency. "I'll be back soon Karl!" He called before disappearing out the door.

Karl only glared back at the door before getting into the lap of the detective. "Grumpy are we?" Ranpo said rather cheerfully as the raccoon stared back at him. "Well then since I have the pleasure of spending the day with you we might as well raise your spirits!" Karl perked up in interest only to be interrupted by Ranpo's coworker.

"This isn't the time to be taking care of an animal Ranpo! You have work to do!" Kunikida yelled from his desk.

"Eh!?" Ranpo yelled, holding up Karl. "But I can't! My good friend asked me to take care of his assistant for a day and I still have to work!? And don't you know animals require a lot of attention! Plus Karl is upset here! He–"

"Alright!" Kunikida yelled. "But get out of the office if you're going to be taking care of animals! We can't afford to be distracted!" He yelled as Naomi, Kenji, Atsushi and of course Dazai were all around Ranpo, awed (distracted) by the raccoon.

"But Karl seems to like the attention," Ranpo retorted as Karl was posing on top of his lap while the others clapped around him.

Kunikida wasn't having it. After managing to put everyone back to work he kicked Ranpo and Karl out of the office to go and play somewhere else for all he cares.

"I swear his ideals are gonna be the death of him," Ranpo complained as Karl was again on his shoulders, head down. "What's with the sad face?" Ranpo said as he walked into the cafe below the Agency.

Lucy greeted them and got their orders as Ranpo took a seat at one of the tables and sat Karl in front of him on the table. Karl layed down as he seemed to sigh. "Hm I see.." Ranpo said as his overly sweet coffee soon came, alone with a small berry cake. "So he told you to get out because he needed to concentrate on writing?"

Karl nodded as he sat up and began taking the berries off the cake and eating them. Normally, Ranpo would have pushed the cake toward himself and told Karl to not touch his sweets. But today he let Karl off to enjoy himself, plus he might get extra points from him in the process.

"And then you pushed his inkwell over the page?" Ranpo continued. It might seem weird to be talking to a raccoon but Ranpo found it rather fun and didn't care about the weird glances he was getting from the other customers.

Once again Karl nodded while Ranpo took a bite of the cake as well. "And then he told you to sit in the corner and you refused?" Once again Karl nodded, this time squishing a raspberry in his tiny hands in irritation and then lowering his head from gloominess.

"Well.." Ranpo took another bite followed by a sip of coffee. "You're in the wrong this time."

Karl looked up at Ranpo and threw the squished raspberry at him, landing it on his clothes.

"Karl!" Ranpo yelled slightly as he wiped the berry off with a napkin before turning back to the raccoon with a smile. "It's rather simple. He wanted some peace and concentration. Having you there would have distracted him."

Karl glared at Ranpo.

"I mean you're too cute for him to not get distracted!" He added trying to not make Karl more upset then he already was. But it didn't work as Karl only laid his head on the table in defeat. (Karl knew that he was just saying that to cheer him up. As well as to get on his good side.)

Ranpo took the last bite of his cake before pushing the plate to Karl. "You've seen how the Agency is around you. So Poe would have been distracted by you too. He's a writer and at the moment he needs all the concentration he can get when he's struggling. Nothing wrong with wanting attention of course, but at the moment he couldn't give it to you. You can understand that, right?" He could. "I know he feels sorry and you should too in all honesty. Believe me, tomorrow he will definitely get back to normal. Take it from the words of the greatest detective!" He grinned and pointed to himself.

Karl perked up at the rest of the cake (but also at Ranpo's word). He knew he could trust Ranpo-kun, even if he did dislike him a bit from how much Poe would talk about him. He also knew that everything that he said is true. Still, Karl wanted to hear it from his owner and friend directy.

Ranpo looked at the raccoon in thought as he was now eating the rest of Ranpo's cake. "How about a date Karl?" He asked after a moment.

Karl looked up, his beady eyes full of curiosity.

"You're clearly upset so a date might cheer you up!" Ranpo continued in his cheerful tone. A date with a raccoon sounds ridiculous but Ranpo said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Karl continued to stare at the detective before going and climbing up his arm and sitting on his shoulders.

Ranpo smiled. "Alright!" He cheered as he got up, leaving the money on the table and the leaving right out the door with Karl.

***

The first place they went was obviously the park. It was calm enough and not as crowded as some of the other places in the city. Plus the weather was perfect: sun out, clear sky, not too hot or cold, grass green and beautiful, and even a small relaxing breeze.

"Ahhh~" Ranpo let out as they walked through the park. "Isn't this nice Karl?"

Karl, still on Ranpo's shoulder, was looking around and enjoying the view. He made a small chittering sound as he looked around more.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Ranpo said as he continued to walk. "It would be nice to come here with Poe next time, right?" Ranpo asked, hoping Karl wouldn't be too mad at the mention of Poe.

Karl knows this was just an indirect way the detective was asking Karl's permission to date Poe, more or less. Karl slapped Ranpo with his tail, he wasn't about to approve of anything till Poe apologizes.

"Okay okay," Ranpo sighed and they continued their walk. They talked (well Ranpo mostly) about anything and everything, mostly work and cases though. Everytime Ranpo would mention Poe, Karl would always slap Ranpo with his tail in response.

Once they were done in the park they went to the zoo in which they both made fun of some animals. Karl mainly having staring contests with other animals. "Ah! It's the zebra with 'zebra' written on it!" Ranpo exclaimed. "Remember when we saw it with Poe and Mushitaro?" Karl does remember, and once again he slapped Ranpo at the mention of Poe, lighter this time.

After finishing with the zoo they went to the mall where they managed to eat more food, talk more and even get a cute sweater for Karl. "Should we get one for Poe too?" Ranpo asked after picking out the sweater for himself and Karl.

This time Karl didn't slap Ranpo with his tail as he enjoyed the detective's company and was too in a happy mood to care about Poe. Karl nodded his head and made a small sound to indicate a yes to Ranpo, which he understood. Ranpo (along with Karl) then picked out a matching sweater for Poe and paid for it before leaving back to the Agency.

***

They entered the cafe below the Agency once again, this time with shopping bags and tired but satisfied faces. Once again Lucy came and took their orders, which were just tea and some cookies this time.

"Wasn't today fun, Karl?" Ranpo asked as Karl was sitting across from him on the table.

Karl laid his head on the table after nodding. Today was fun by tiring, especially for a small raccoon like him. Not to mention the fact that he was starting to miss his owner and friend, Poe. The sky was already turning pink and he still wasn't here to pick him up.

"He'll come," Ranpo reassured as if reading Karl's mind. He perked up at him just as Lucy put down a cut of tea and a plate of cookies on the table. The detective smiled at him. Karl sat up, nodding at the detective with a smile.

Ranpo took a sip of his tea when the bell from the door rang. "Speak of the devil," Ranpo said as Poe came over to their table. Karl looked up at his owner with shine in his eyes but then quickly looked away, crossing his little arms over his body.

"K-karl...I'm here," Poe said as he looked down at his assistant. "A-are you still mad at me?" He asked which the raccoon only turned away more in response. Poe sighed as he kneeled down to get on the same level with Karl. "I'm sorry.." he said after a moment and Karl turned to look at him. "I know I shouldn't have been that harsh on you but I was really struggling. I know you just wanted to play for a bit but I needed some peace and quiet to concentrate. I promise to ask you nicely next time. So...I'm sorry.."

Karl stared back for a moment before smiling and getting on his owner's and friend's shoulder and pecking him on the cheek with his nose, a sigh of his own apology as well. Poe smiled and stood up, happy to have his furry assistant back.

"Ahem!" Ranpo made a coughing noise making Poe and Karl turn towards him. "My payment?" He said, standing up.

"O-oh!" Poe said, pulling out a bag full of chips and sweets and snacks and handing it to Ranpo who immediately began looking through it. "I hope that's enough.." Poe added sheepishly.

"More than enough!" Ranpo exclaimed with a smile making Poe blush slightly. "Oh!" He yelled and put down the bag of snacks and got the bag from his and Karl's trip to the mall. "We got sweaters!"

"Sweaters?" Poe asked as Karl made a happy chitter.

"Yep!" Ranpo pulled out Poe's sweater and held it out for him to look at. "You like it? Karl and I picked it out. We got some matching ones too!"

Poe blushed again as he took the sweater and looked at it. "I-i do.. it's cute.." he said shyly as Ranpo then handed him the bag with Karl's sweater. Poe put the sweater in the bag then looked at Ranpo who was smiling at him.

That's when Karl took the chance and pushed his owner's and friend's head down, making him bump foreheads with the detective. It's not the effect he wanted but he got his message across to the detective.

"Ah s-sorry!" Poe yelled apologetically, sending a confused and angry look to Karl.

Ranpo rubbed his forehead a bit before chucking lightly. "Don't worry about it.." he looked at Karl who smiled and winked at him. Ranpo smiled to himself as he got his message of approval. "Say Karl and I had a pretty fun date today," he said after a bit.

"D-date?" Poe questioned. "That's great.." he said with a genuine smile as Karl made another happy chitter.

"Yup! How about you come along with us next time?" Ranpo asked with an innocent smile.

Poe blushed again. "On t-the d-date?!"

"Of course! But I mean," he leaned up a bit and slightly whispered, "it could just be the two of us."

Karl then jumped on Ranpo's head, breaking the moment. He was now slightly regretting giving Ranpo his approval.

"K-karl!" Poe said, taking Karl from Ranpo's head. "S-sorry.."

Ranpo adjusted his hat then quickly glared at the raccoon before smiling at Poe. "It's okay it's okay. But what's your answer then?"

"O-oh..I um s-sure! B-but with Karl too of course," Poe stuttered while blushing again as Karl got back on his shoulders.

Ranpo grinned "Great! This weekend then!" He said as he picked up bags and placed the money on the table.

Poe nodded and then both headed out the door, talking about their plans for the weekend as they walked.

The end.

Hope you enjoyed and feedback welcome!

#ranpoe #bsd ranpoe #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd karl #fanfic

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patchwork-panda · 4 years

Text

If A Moment Is All We Are 14/?

AO3 link: HERE

“Kyou-chan...”

Kirako’s eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Kyou-chan!”

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair as the sound of Kirako’s voice roused me from my half-sleep. My neck creaked audibly as I rotated my head just enough to look her in the eye and she took a hasty step back the moment my face came into view.

“A-Are you okay, Kyou-chan?”

I didn’t answer. Even after downing my third packet of instant coffee mix, I was still too tired to talk. Following the incident with Kunikida’s notebook yesterday, I’d spent a good chunk of the afternoon sitting at my kitchen table and staring at my phone. The image of “page fifty-three” remained there on full display until my battery was almost drained and I was forced to get up and prepare dinner.

I’d expected the list to be pretty extensive, but nothing of this magnitude. In total, there were no less than fifty-eight traits Kunikida found attractive enough to deem “ideal” in a partner match, including height preference (a methodically calculated range was given), personality traits, even blood type. My head was spinning by the time I’d finished skimming the page.

There was no way I, or any other human woman for that matter, would be able to match every single one of these requirements. It was simply too much.

I’d decided to go back to binge-reading manga over a cup of hot ramen to de-stress and had just about put aside the matter of what to do about “page fifty-three” when my phone pinged again.

Once again, I’d received an unwanted text message from Dazai. And once again, it was an image attachment. I had just made the decision to delete it without looking at it when my phone pinged several more times, causing me to open one of the attachments by mistake. If “page fifty-three” wasn’t already bad enough, I was soon made aware of the existences of “pages fifty-four through fifty-seven,” which contained a comprehensive plan (complete with locations!) for first dates, getting engaged, an actual timeline of the relationship before marriage... there was even a list of strategies for how to deal with in-laws and a small selection of potential baby names. By the time I got through it all, I wasn’t sure if I was intimidated or actually impressed.

What should I do?

To use the information I’d been given felt completely wrong— reading through Kunikida’s notebook alone was an invasion of privacy. However, not taking advantage of this when I was developing a crush on the man felt patently stupid. Either way, my chances of getting a good night’s sleep were completely ruined and once again I had only Dazai to blame.

Dazai...

“So, does that mean I still have a chance?” he’d asked.

I frowned as I thought back to that last thumbs-up he’d thrown out.

Why was Dazai doing this? Was he actually trying to “help” me as he put it, so that I could have a shot at getting Kunikida to like me? Because he cared about me?

But that didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t that kind of person... If he really wanted a chance with me, he would sabotage me instead. That’s who Dazai Osamu really was, that perverted son of a bitch...

I could tell by the way Kirako was looking at me that I had massive bags under my eyes but I was too exhausted to care. So, I let my cheek stay squished against the table and didn’t bother to lift up my head even though I knew that I was definitely scaring her.

“Kirako-san...”

I smiled and Kirako visibly twitched.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. How can I help you?”

“Uh... well, I know you just finished a big case recently, but...”

She gingerly laid a thin folder on my desk.

“We need you to go with Ranpo-san on a case.”

I looked at it.

“Already?”

Kirako nodded and I watched as she carefully slid my own sketchbook towards me, a thick graphite pencil rolling slightly on top of the faux-leather cover.

“Could you please come with me?”

Slowly, and with a considerable amount of effort, I picked myself up and followed her to the desk in the far corner, my bones cracking loudly as I moved. We stopped at the table closest to the window, where I’d once spied an ID badge depicting a skinny man with spiky black hair wearing a brown tweed cap low over his eyes, a man who I could only describe as a Sherlock Holmes cosplay enthusiast.

Today, however, the seat was occupied by an enormous mound of empty cardboard snack boxes, the mess of brightly colored packaging looking like the aftermath of my old self going through a months’ worth of snacks. Kirako leaned in and gave the pile a soft poke.

“Ranpo-san? Excuse me, Ranpo-san?”

There was a muffled groan and at once the entire pile shifted. I stumbled back as the empty packages cascaded to the ground in a sweet-smelling waterfall and gawked beside a disturbingly calm Kirako as the dark-haired cosplayer was revealed. As I watched him lift his head from his desk, I got the disturbing feeling that this scene was a familiar one at the Armed Detective Agency. The man straightened up in his seat and stretched his limbs, yawning widely as he did so. One bright green eye slowly opened up and focused on me.

“Hm?”

The green-eyed man squinted at me and reached into his pocket for a pair of thick black spectacles.

“Who are you?”

“Ranpo-san,” Kirako explained gently, “This is Kusunoki Kyou. She’s the new recruit who just passed her Entrance Exam. She’ll be going with you on your newest assignment.”

He looked from me to Kirako and put his head down on his desk.

“I don’t feel like it. I just got back from Hokkaido, Haruno-san. Cut me a break, will you?”

Kirako turned to me with a soft smile.

“This is Edogawa Ranpo. As you can tell, he can be in very high demand, even outside of Yokohama. Ranpo-san is the best detective we have and the main reason we can even call ourselves a detective agency. Even the police frequently come to him for help, like today, for example.”

She waved the folder in the air.

“The police can wait,” Edogawa whined. “I’m tired.”

“Ranpo-san,” Kirako whispered, her voice taking on an urgent, conspiratorial tone. “Kyou-chan here loves sweets as much as you do. In fact, she’s good friends with a local convenience store manager. As a thank you for helping them out, Kyou-chan gets a free box of Kit-Kats whenever a new flavor is released—”

Edogawa perked up in an instant.

“Welcome, new recruit!” he shouted, suddenly bounding out of his chair and all but exploding out of the pile of trash. “You are standing in the presence of the Great Detective, Edogawa Ranpo! There is no case that I can’t solve and no truth that escapes the scrutiny of my eyes! Let’s take a look at you, shall we?”

With a flick of his wrist, he placed his glasses on.

“Special Ability: Ultra Deduction!”

“Ability?!” I exclaimed, taking a step back. “Wait, what are you doing?!”

“Too late!” Edogawa declared, “It’s already working!”

I froze, clutching my notebook to my chest as he slowly looked me up and down through those thick square frames, analyzing every square inch of my being and making me feel like I was being fed through a scanner. It didn’t feel quite as gross as when Dazai had been staring at my butt yesterday but it was still uncomfortable.

“Hmm... Interesting...”

Edogawa took the glasses off.

“You’re an Ability User, aren’t you?”

My jaw dropped.

“What the—?! How did you—??”

Completely ignoring me, he turned to Kirako with a pout.

“I don’t need any cheat codes, Haruno-san. I can solve this case on my own.”

I stared at him.

Cheat codes?

“We know that, Ranpo-san,” Kirako reassured him. “But the fact of it is, Atsushi-kun can’t take you today. He’s still out with Dazai-san (Which god do I pray to so that I don’t have to think about that man one more time today, I thought to myself) and there’s no one else who can take you to the site...”

“Oh, good point.”

Edogawa put his glasses away.

“Very well. Nice to meet you, Kusunoki-kun. Shall we go?”

He was already halfway to the door by the time I found my voice again.

“Eh? Right now??”

“Well, of course, there’s a case to be solved and Kit-Kats to be collected,” Edogawa replied, his hand on the doorknob. “As for your questions, I’ll explain on the way there. Now are you coming or not?”

Kirako gave me an encouraging look and inclined her head towards the door, where Edogawa was staring at me expectantly, or at least appeared to be (I wasn’t entirely sure if his eyes were open or not). When I looked back at my desk, I realized that the seats next to mine were empty—neither Dazai and Kunikida had come in this morning and both were out on jobs. If I left now, there was a good chance I wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day and then I wouldn’t have to have any of the awkward conversations that were sure to follow after yesterday’s fiasco...

I looked back at Kirako and took the file from her.

“Let me go get my stuff.”

***

Kirako had mentioned that Edogawa was really bad with directions. What she should have said was that “The Great Detective” was completely unable to function in normal society once he got outside.

How was it that a grown man (and a Yokohama native no less!) had literally no idea how to use the public transit system? I’d laughed when Edogawa had acted like he didn’t understand how the turnstiles worked, thinking it was all some kind of joke. Unfortunately, I realized the joke was on me the instant the ticket agent rushed out and began desperately trying to free Edogawa from the metal arms, where the man’s poncho had inexplicably gotten stuck. If that wasn’t bad enough, he couldn’t figure out which line to stand in on the escalator, nearly discarded his ticket with the candy wrapper in his pocket and would have walked right onto the departures track if I hadn’t noticed and quickly grabbed him by the arm before disaster struck.

All in all though, it was still better than staying at the Agency and waiting for Dazai to show up with his knowing grin. Or worse, having to look Kunikida in the face after he’d seen me all tangled up with Dazai yesterday...

I let my head roll back in my seat and sighed.

As Edogawa and I swayed back and forth in our shiny plastic chairs, on the train at long last, I tried to push all thoughts of Dazai, Kunikida and the notebook away and instead focused my attention on my sleepy seat-mate. How had Edogawa figured out I was an Ability User with just one glance? Was he just that good a detective, as Kirako said he was? Or maybe it really did have something to do with his glasses.

I stared suspiciously at Edogawa as he napped beside me, his arms crossed behind his head and one corner of his thick black spectacles poking out of his vest. To my annoyance, Edogawa had refused to put them on unless he was deducing something (“Are you kidding me? The glasses are special, Kusunoki-kun, I can’t just put them on whenever!”), leading me to think his navigational problems might be due in part to severe astigmatism. That and a stubborn refusal to read and follow directions.

Noticing my eyes on him at last, Edogawa shifted slightly in his seat and addressed me.

“Something on your mind, Kusunoki-kun?”

“Not really...”

“Hmm? I wonder...”

He took a small, green lollipop out of his pocket, unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth.

“You’re not thinking about how I was able to deduce you were an Ability User?”

I stiffened, then sighed. Apparently Dazai wasn’t the only one I’d have a hard time fooling.

“Okay, I was,” I admitted, mentally kicking myself for thinking about Dazai again, “But is it really a good idea to talk about it here?”

I gestured around the train car.

“I thought President Fukuzawa asked us not to talk about my Ability in public? What if the Port Mafia’s still looking for me and they overhear...?”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” Edogawa said, shifting the lollipop from one side of his mouth to the other. His teeth clicked against the candy as he spoke. “For one, this car’s completely empty and I seriously doubt it’s bugged. No reason to, you know? For another, the Port Mafia’s probably not looking for you right now. If they were...”

He bit down on his lollipop and a resounding crack echoed throughout the car.

“You’d be sitting in a torture chamber somewhere instead of here with me right now.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

“G-good point.”

“So you can relax,” he said, crunching loudly on the rest of his candy, seemingly oblivious to how relaxed I wasn’t now that he’d brought up the Port Mafia. “In any case, I do want to find out more about your Ability before we get to where we’re going so why don’t we talk about it?”

I nodded. But when I opened my mouth to speak, Edogawa raised his hand to stop me.

“Oh, sorry. I meant why don’t I tell you everything I know first and then you can fill in the rest?”

He grinned.

“Wouldn’t want the new recruit thinking Ultra Deduction is some mere parlor trick, now would we? Think of this as the first of many lessons, Kusunoki-kun! The Great Detective, Edogawa Ranpo will be your teacher today!”

As he whipped the glasses back out of his coat and stuck them on his face, I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew that this was technically my second big case at the Agency, making this the second of “many lessons.” As it stood, the person who had first taught me something important while we were on a job together was Kunikida...

Tucking the tips of my fingers below my ribbon, I touched my hand to my chest, where that familiar warmth began creeping back in as I pictured the bespectacled detective. I felt an odd sense of comfort when I thought about him, about his rigid, yet highly dependable nature. He was consistent, respectable, stable, a pillar of strength both literal and metaphorical that anyone in the Agency could rely on and yet somehow patient and kind when he needed to be.

And it didn’t exactly hurt that he was tall, blonde and gorgeous...

I was too tired to notice if he had come in or not this morning, probably forgot to say hello if he had, but if he was gone by the time I’d noticed his absences then he had to be out on an early morning case. Not surprising, given that he was a senior member and so reliable. But I did hope he was able to get enough rest last night and hadn’t lost any sleep over that fiasco with his notebook like I had...

“Kusunoki-kuuun...”

Edogawa snapped his fingers at me and I jolted up in my seat.

“Are you even paying attention?” he grumbled, “I was about to reveal exactly how I figured out you were an Ability User.”

“I’m paying attention!” I exclaimed, flushing in embarrassment as Edogawa stared doubtfully at me.

“Good,” he huffed, “Because the big reveal just isn’t as dramatic the second time you do it. Now then, let me tell you a little about my Ability first.”

He tapped on the corner of his glasses and continued.

“When I put these on, my Ultra Deduction activates, letting me see the truth behind any and all mysteries. It only took a second to figure out your status as an Ability User and a fledgling detective and here’s why. Let’s start with the most obvious.”

I nodded and scooted closer to listen. I was still pretty convinced Edogawa needed those glasses to see more than anything else but now I knew better than to interrupt him when he was clearly excited to show off.

“It’s pretty clear you aren’t one of the office clerks,” he said, gesturing to my clothes. “Because you aren’t dressed like one. You might be around the same age as Haruno-san and the others, but if you’re not wearing that gray skirt and vest, then you’re someone who’s meant to leave the office on official jobs.”

“Right...”

“On that note, Haruno-san wanted you to show me around. That’s something that only trainee detectives like Atsushi-kun are asked to do. And trainee detectives can only get in by taking the Entrance Exam. And the Entrance Exam...”

“Is only given to Ability Users who want to join the Agency,” I slowly pieced together, my eyes widening as the dots connected at last.

Edogawa grinned.

“Very good! As for how your Ability activates...”

He pointed at me.

“It has to be through touch. You have a tendency to hide your hands. When you can’t do that, you hold yourself at a physical distance from others, meaning you’re afraid to get too close to them, even someone like Haruno-san, who you seem to know well (she calls you Kyou-chan after all). We don’t live in a country where it’s common to greet others through things like handshakes or physical touch but you seem to take it much further than that. You’re definitely not a germaphobe judging by the condition of your workstation (I cringed) so I can only conclude that you avoid touching people to prevent activation of your Ability. Now, let’s talk about what your Ability actually is...”

Edogawa paused for dramatic effect and I leaned forward, not wanting to miss a single word. Despite gaining control over my Ability just over a week ago, I still didn’t completely understand the full limits of what I could do, even though I had just used my powers to solve my first case. If Edogawa had been right about everything so far, perhaps he could unlock the truth behind my visions...!

As I waited patiently for him to keep going, Edogawa blinked at me. Finally, he took off his glasses and said, “Uh, actually, Kusunoki-kun, this is the part where you tell me what your Ability does.”

I must’ve looked every bit as disappointed as I felt because Edogawa suddenly scowled and crossed his arms.

“Hey, hey! I’m a detective, not a wizard! I said I needed you to fill in the rest didn’t I? Before you start doubting my Ability, I’m going to deduce one last thing for you.”

Once again, he jabbed his finger at me, his bright green eyes narrowed to slits and his mouth stretched wide in a confident grin.

“Whatever your Ability is, it’s something you wish you didn’t have. You’ve seen things, haven’t you, Kusunoki-kun? You don’t have that air of innocence about you like certain other members of our civilian staff. If I’m going to be honest, I’d say the look in your eyes reminds me a little of Dazai-san when he first started here...”

I stiffened as Edogawa put his hand down, my eyes glued to the black frames once again sticking out of his pocket.

No. Impossible...

The image of the ghoul reappeared in my mind’s eye and I gripped my hands tightly to stop them from shaking. Had Edogawa somehow seen the hollow look in my eyes when he’d put those glasses on?

Just then, we passed into a tunnel.

One by one, the lights embedded into the ceiling above us flickered to life, casting the entire train in a vaguely chartreuse sheen as we passed through the darkness. There was a sickly green hue to Edogawa’s skin and as I looked away from him, I found myself slowly turning to the windows, with the sound of the train roaring loudly in my ears...

...where I saw a pale, fearful-looking young woman, with short dark hair and large burgundy eyes. There were no bloody tears and no bottomless pupils staring back at me from the darkened glass.

Just the ordinary reflection of a normal girl.

Suppressing a shudder, I turned away from the window and slumped back against the plastic seats.

“Edogawa-san...?”

He perked up.

“You’ve been right about everything else so far but you’re wrong about one thing.”

I felt my features twist into a disapproving scowl.

“I’m not like Dazai.”

I fell silent as Edogawa studied me, his gaze lingering forebodingly on my eyes.

“If you say so, Kusunoki-kun,” he said slowly. “If you say so...”

He fished another lollipop out of his pocket, a cherry-red one, and offered it to me.

“Here. Some brain fuel for the case. I believe Haruno-san said you liked sweets too.”

As I took the piece of candy from him, Edogawa smiled.

“And please, call me Ranpo. Everyone does. Tell me more about your Ability.”

***

“Woah...”

Edogawa turned and shot me a curious look as I paused at the street corner, gawking at our destination up ahead.

“First time seeing a burned building, Kusunoki-kun?”

I shook my head no and kept moving, jogging a little to catch up with Edogawa as he continued on towards the site. I’d seen burned structures before, just not anything quite like this.

Just ahead of us on the next street over were the charred, blackened remains of what used to be a small two-story home. The entire thing had been reduced to nothing more than ash and badly burned support beams and from a distance, it looked less like a real house and more like a charcoal outline someone had scrawled over the street. As we approached, I spotted several distinct bands of vivid yellow police tape stretched across the base of the building. There were a few officers scattered throughout the site, probably stationed there to keep civilians away and as we got closer, one of them, a tall, graying man in a blue blazer, looked up from his clipboard and waved to Edogawa.

“Edogawa-san! You’re here early.”

“Early?” I exclaimed, quickly turning from him to Edogawa in shock.

After we’d left the train station, “The Great Detective” had wandered off yet again and this time, he’d managed to actually get on a bus... going back in the direction we’d just come from! I’d spent so much time chasing him down and trying to get him to this badly burned house that I would’ve considered it a miracle if we’d made it before noon today. As Edogawa and the man in the blazer chatted away, I couldn’t help wondering what Kunikida would have to say about this once he’d read my report.

So much for thinking I could impress him by being punctual...

As I glanced down at my phone, wincing slightly when I saw the time, it suddenly rang in my hand.

I jumped, almost dropping the thing in my rush to press the answer button. I knew I was being paranoid but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Kunikida had somehow figured out I’d messed up already and had suddenly decided to call and check in on me.

“H-hello?” I ventured, praying I would magically think of the perfect excuse and escape the inevitable lecture that was sure to come.

“Kusunoki-kun! You actually picked up!” a very familiar voice chirped, sounding pleasantly surprised.

My relief at the call not being from Kunikida vanished as quickly as it appeared.

“Dazai-san...”

I sighed and put my hand over my face.

“What’s going on? Why are you calling me while I’m in the middle of a case?”

“Oh, so that’s where you went.”

Dazai’s voice was fuzzy with static.

“I just wanted to see if you got the rest of my texts last night.”

I grew quiet, trying to figure out if it would be better to lie to him or just hang up when Dazai suddenly snorted and said, “I’m kidding. I know you got them. You’re trying to think of some way to trick me, aren’t you?”

“I am not!” I shouted into the receiver, flushing scarlet when Dazai started laughing.

“There’s no need to sound so embarrassed! I think it’s cute that you’re trying so hard. But anyway, Kusunoki-kun, I need to tell you something—”

“Kusunoki-kuuuun!”

Edogawa was calling out to me from the front of the house, where he was standing next to the graying detective, waving his arm in the air.

“Come here! I need to introduce you to the person leading the case!”

“I’ll be right there!” I shouted back.

Turned back to the receiver, glaring at it as if I were glaring at Dazai himself, I all but crushed the phone in my hand as I spat out my response.

“Not now!”

I snapped my phone shut and shoved it back into my bag.

“This is Hatta Shotarou,” Edogawa said, gesturing to the man in the blazer as I hurried to join them. “He’s the one who requested my help today.”

“Nice to meet you.”

I bowed.

“I’m Kusunoki Kyou. I’ll be assisting Edogawa—I mean, Ranpo-san today.”

“Pleased to meet you, Kusunoki-kun.” Detective Hatta smiled. “I’d like to commend you for getting Edogawa-san here so quickly. We weren’t expecting you for at least another thirty minutes.”

My smile suddenly felt stiff.

“You what?”

“We’ve gotten so used to Edogawa-san getting lost and coming late that we’ve gotten into the habit of giving the Agency an extra hour to bring him to the appointed location,” Hatta elaborated as my smile went from being stiff to twitchy. “You’re doing pretty well for your first time assisting him. Now then, please come with me. We should get you both down to the basement before the press shows up.”

“The basement?” I repeated, surprised. “There’s a basement?”

Hatta nodded.

“Maybe I should be calling it a storage cellar instead. I know it’s rather unusual to have one, especially in a place like Yokohama, but the Ito’s had a small side business. They make their own pickles—been doing so for the past twenty years, from what we’ve found—and when their business grew, they had a cellar installed underneath the house.”

He took us around the side of the house and to the back, where I saw what looked like two blackened squares embedded into the scorched ground, next to a pile of burned trash. It was a pair of wooden doors, both badly burned, but not so much that I couldn’t make out the sets of handprints amidst the ash and soot. Two thin diagonal lines of police tape stretched from the corners in a giant “X,” and on the ground in front of the two doors was a broken lock and chain.

“Did someone break in?” I asked, pointing to the lock.

Hatta shook his head.

“We did that when we checked the basement and I’m glad we did.”

His mouth set into a firm line.

“We found a body down there.”

I froze.

“What?”

“A body inside a cellar that was locked from the outside?” Edogawa grinned. “Classic.”

“Who are they? How did they get in? What were they even doing there?” I sputtered as Edogawa’s hand descended upon my shoulder.

“That’s why we’re here,” he said, smirking. “Or rather...”

He flicked out his glasses.

“That’s why I’m here. Open the doors, Hatta-san.”

As if summoned by his words, a sudden gust of wind rushed through the site. Edogawa’s brown cape and pastel tie flapped madly in the wind and I pushed my hands over my skirt to keep it from flipping up.

“Special Ability: Ultra Deduction.”

He slowly settled the glasses on his nose and at once, his emerald-green eyes sharpened, rapidly flicking about the scene as he took in every piece of information he could find. When he turned to me, his smile was nothing short of victorious.

“Come on, Kusunoki-kun. The game is afoot.”

#dazai x oc #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #dazai #bungo stray dogs #kunikida #kunikida x oc #kunikida x reader #edogawa ranpo

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crow-writes-stuff · 4 years

Text

Dark

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Whumptober 2020, Power Outage, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Caring Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Even if he doesn't admit it, Chuuya-Typical Swearing Series: Part 7 of Soukoku Whumptober 2020 Summary:

An ability user causes a sudden power outage. Dazai and Kunikida go to investigate and meet Chuuya, who's in a rough shape.

Ao3

The lights go out. Dazai blinks into the sudden darkness. Huh.

He sighs as he hears Kunikida get up. He really shouldn't have let himself get pulled into an allnighter. After a bit of rustling and some annoyed muttering, he hears the telltale click of a flashlight being turned on. Except there is still no light. "What the-?" That's Kunikida. "I made sure the batteries are at full capacity." Dazai yawns audibly. "Maybe you made a mistake?"

Before his partner can answer, they hear tires screeching on the street outside, followed by a crash. Dazai gets up and hurries to the window, lightly touching the furniture around him to find his way. Kunikida is right behind him.

The street is dark. Completly. No street light, no car lights, no moon. The latter can be explained by it being a new moon this night. And the street lights are also no surprise, considering the power outage. But the car lights are worrying. Because Dazai can still hear the cars moving.

"This isn't natural," Kunikida states and finds Dazai's arm. They make their way out of the office, down the stairs and onto the street. People seem to finally have come to their senses, as most cars have by now at least stopped moving. There are some specks of light. Lighters appear to still be working. Taking this information, Kunikida produces his notebook and soon hands Dazai one. It's of the wind-resistant kind. Smart. Both of them now equipped with their tiny flames they head over to the crash site.

"Is anyone hurt?" Kunikida asks the gathered people. "Nah, we slowed down thankfully," answers a man, waving them off. "Don't get how all the lights turned off though." "We're investigating that." They are? Oh, well. Probably.

Dazai takes another look around. Sure enough, he notices something. "Kunikida." His partner turns around, immediately seeing it too. Far, far down the street, the lights are turning back on. "I think it's moving." "An ability user?" Dazai nods. He starts into the opposite direction of the returning lights.

Kunikida is right behind him. Sometimes, they catch glimpses of light in front of them, but every time it's gone almost immediately.

"Looks like our friend isn't moving much faster than us." "But they are moving. We should hurry up. We don't know if they have a goal in mind or if this is just a random attack." Dazai hums. "At least we have an idea of their ability's radius."

There is a sudden flash of light in tune with the sound of an explosion. Then another one. And another one.

They barely exchange looks before speeding up towards the source. Soon enough, they hear yelling. And laughter. Laughter, that Dazai unfortunately recognizes.

"Stop throwing your bombs around! We're supposed to make light, not ruin the whole place!" "I am making light! Can you not see what my beautiful lemon bombs are accomplishing?" The unmistakable figure of Kajii finally comes into view. He's accompanied by a clearly agitated Tachihara. There is the beginning of a small bonfire near them, but they clearly got... distracted. Tachihara is currently shaking Kajii by the coat lapels, while the other laughs.

Dazai sighs. Another bomb gets thrown. It explodes while still in the air, not doing any damage. Dazai sighs again.

The mafia members finally notice them. Tachihara has one gun trained on each of them without a moment of hesitation. Dazai lifts his arms with a lazy smile. "Don't worry, we're not here for you. We're just trying to find the one responsible for the outage." "Really?" Tachihara looks sceptical but lowers his hands. "We've got some guys on it too. Don't get in their way." He indicates for them to move on. "Of course," Dazai smiles and pulls Kunikida with him. The explosions soon return.

"That went smoother than expected," Dazai says once they've gained some distance. "And we can assume that the Port Mafia isn't responsible for this." Dazai shrugs. "I didn't expect them to be. This endangers the city after all." Kunikida hums thoughtfully.

The lights stop moving away eventually. They're on the outskirts of the city by now. It doesn't take long to find the building that seems to be in the centre of it all.

Gunfire.

They duck behind a container, Kunikida pulling out a pistol.

There is a loud crash, and the shooting stops.

Kunikida nods towards the entrance. They have almost reached it, when the door suddenly flies open, followed by three men. They land heavily on the ground and don't get up. Exchanging a quick look, Dazai looks into the building. It's a warehouse. Filled with a distinct red glow. And a lot of bodies.

"Where is the fucker?" Dazai makes a face. If he wasn't sure before, he is now.

Still cautious, Kunikida creeps into the room, Dazai following behind.

Chuuya is standing amidst the bodies, holding one of them up with one hand. The red glow makes it hard to see any details, but whoever the person is, they seem to be shaking their head. Chuuya clicks his tongue and throws them to the side. Directly towards Dazai and Kunikida. They only just manage to jump out of the way.

"Watch it," Dazai complains, causing Chuuya to snap towards them. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Dazai shrugs. Kunikida isn't lowering his gun, he notes. "Same thing as you, I presume."

Chuuya stays silent for a moment before shaking his head. "Fine. But I'm the one that gets their head." "We won't let you kill them if we have another choice," Kunikida interjects. Chuuya stares at him, before pressing out: "We'll see about that."

They have finally stepped close enough to really see Chuuya. The receding glow of his ability helps. Dazai whistles. "Wow, what happened to you?"

Chuuya looks rough. His coat is shredded at multiple points, his pants ripped as well. And he's bleeding. There is blood on his temple, matting some hair to his face. Another wound is on his upper thigh, more are scattered across his arms. Dazai swallows down any possible emotion.

"None of your fucking business." Chuuya turns away. "Let's just find that asshole."

It doesn't take them long. Since Chuuya has already taken out most of the people around, finding the one quivering man hiding in a closet isn't difficult. He falls to his knees immediately when they open it. "I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me, please! I'm sorry!" He continues rambling apologies and pleads for his life as Chuuya steps forward and picks him up by the collar.

"I'll tell you everything you want! Please don't hurt me!"

Kunikida steps towards them, ready to intervene, but Dazai holds him back. For now. "Who hired you?" Chuuya asks through gritted teeth. The man is sobbing at this point. "I don't know their names, but they're based in Yokosuka! I can give you everything I have if you let me live!" Chuuya seems to consider it. Before he can say anything though, the man continues: "I didn't want you dead, I swear! But they said it's the only way and they'd kill me if I didn't cooperate."

That's interesting.

There is a brief flash of disgust on his face before Chuuya literally throws the man into Kunikida's arms. The rambling turns towards thanking him over and over. It's incredibly annoying. Dazai is glad when Kunikida manages to shut the man up.

When they leave the warehouse, the street lights have turned back on. While Kunikida calls someone from the Agency to pick them up, Dazai turns to Chuuya. "So, they were out to get you, huh?", he says in a cheerful voice.

Chuuya sighs, leaning against a wall. "I was driving. Shit turned dark while I was in a curve and they immediately started shooting." Dazai hums. "They must have planned this for quite some time."

Silence stretches between them. Finally, Chuuya pushes away from the wall. "Are you going to tell who he's working for?" Dazai considers it. He should say no. The Port Mafia doesn't take kindly to attacks like this. But this is Chuuya.

He nods. "When we find out." Chuuya stares at him. "You already know, don't you?" "I have my suspicions. But it would be foolish to attack only based on that." Chuuya rolls his eyes. "Whatever. I'm leaving."

Dazai hums. "You should probably get that checked out." He gestures to his own head. "Wouldn't do if you lost the few brain cells you have." "Fuck off." The familiar red glow returns and Chuuya pushes himself off the ground. Dazai watches him until he's out of sight.

With a sigh, he turns towards Kunikida. His partner is watching him. "He'll be fine." Dazai blinks. "I'm not worried about him." Kunikida raises an eyebrow. "Sure." He thankfully changes the topic: "Yosano will be here soon."

Dazai nods and returns to the wall Chuuya was just leaning on. Of course, he's not worried. Chuuya's harder to kill than most people Dazai has met in his life. He still hopes Chuuya gets his head checked out. Just in case.

#whumptober2020 #no.27 #Power Outage #Bungou Stray Dogs #fic #bsd #bungo stray dogs #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya #Kunikida Doppo #soukoku

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chouetteffraie · 4 years

Text

so close i can almost taste it

They say you can taste what your soulmates taste- food and blood, mostly. Dazai realizes this may be true when he watches a boy eat bowls and bowls of chazuke and can taste it without so much as a bite.

ao3 link here!

For a while, Dazai was determined he had no soulmate. It was rare for him to taste something that wasn't on his own tongue. When he was younger, he could sometimes taste blood, though if it was from his soulmate or his own mouth, he could never tell. Late at night, when he stared up at the moon, he could occasionally taste something plain but comforting, a taste he later pinned down to be chazuke. These times were few and far between, however, and he told himself it was just some aftertaste from his own dinner.

The more he thought about it, the more sure he was that his soulmate didn't exist. As he got older, he cared less about what he put on his tongue- bitter alcohol was sometimes stronger, and he needed the hit. He wasn't about to back down from one of Chuuya's dares, either, even if it was something childish such as eating something gross.

Still, when he was up late on missions for the mafia, half-awake while on the run to clear his name, or even when his thoughts kept him awake after joining the Armed Detective Agency, sometimes he’d get the faintest taste of tea on rice.

One day, after trying to drown himself in the river, he came across a young boy who was all skin and bones. Dazai offered him food, on Kunikida’s dime, of course, and perked his ears at the unusual choice. He decided it must be a coincidence, or that he never really tasted that meal as he thought he did all those late nights. After watching the boy shovel food in his mouth and extracting information about the latest job he and his partner had been assigned to, Dazai knew the boy was more than he thought at first. After finding the tiger and showing the boy to his dorm, Dazai sat up in his dark room and wondered about his freshly-gained subordinate. Well, almost subordinate, noting the entrance exam. That night, the taste of tea on rice was stronger than ever, and it didn’t truly fade until the morning light rose above the horizon.

On the day the agency welcomed Kyouka, Atsushi had no problem eating his fill, not that that was a bad thing. The kid deserved to eat after all he had been through in the past few days. Dazai ate a polite amount before sitting at his desk and watching the commotion from afar, noting how Atsushi had no tact in his meals. He ate whatever looked good when he saw it, not with other foods that might compliment its flavor. Dazai was growing tired of the alternating sweet and saltiness in his mouth, but once he peeked at Atsushi, who looked perfectly content and full, he decided he could tolerate the alternating tastes for that.

Dazai took up playing a game with Atsushi, every so often betting him he could guess what he ate for lunch. Sometimes he purposely answered wrong, just to throw Atsushi off, but on days where he bet Atsushi one day’s worth of paperwork, he always got the answer right on the first try- sometimes to a terrifying degree of accuracy. Instead of prying into Dazai’s case on these days, Atsushi simply smiled and reached over, picking the papers Dazai no longer had to do off his desk. “You’re a good detective, Dazai-san. Maybe you should try Ranpo-san next?”

Dazai shook his head. “If those reports are turned in with candy stains on them, everyone will know that I didn’t do them.”

“We all already know,” Ranpo called out, spinning around in his chair. He stopped long enough to give Dazai a knowing look over his bottle before adding, “But whatever you say. You just know you could never guess what I ate if I tried to cover it up!”

Sometimes, Dazai would forget about his little experiments and hypotheses, drowning himself in liquor when the river just wasn’t sweeping fast enough. He rarely made it to the office on time the days following these excursions, until the one time he did. Atsushi complained of a weird taste in his mouth, something bitter and sour that he couldn’t seem to scrub off. Kenji cheerfully blamed it on halitosis, lighting Atsushi’s cheeks aflame. Dazai made a note to keep his drinking habits in check after that.

Dazai found himself significantly more aware of the food around him. When the agency had a party, he always let Atsushi have the coveted last pieces of food, content with the taste still lingering in his mouth. When he was feeling bold, he took Atsushi to festivals and made sure to guide him to food stands he knew he himself enjoyed. When Atsushi was on a mission, Dazai kept checking the sides of his mouth for the faint taste of blood, ready to leap into action if necessary.

One day, Atsushi returned to the office early from his lunch break, long before the others had returned. He held a small box in his hands, looking at it as if it were made of glass and he were expecting to drop it any second. “What you got there?” Dazai asked, watching Atsushi place it on his desk.

“Kyouka-chan made me some chocolates the other day, but she made too many for just me,” he answered. “She said it was a thank you gift for taking care of her and introducing her to the agency, so I thought, if that’s what they’re for, you’d be perfect to share them with!”

There he goes again, saying innocent things like that and sending an arrow right through Dazai’s heart. Eyeing the box warily, Dazai finally gave Atsushi and said, “Alright, then! Let’s make a game out of it.”

Atsushi tilted his head as he opened the box and carefully took out one of the chocolates. It was nearly perfect, a small square between Atsushi’s fingers. “What kind of game?” Atsushi asked, looking at the handwritten note on the box lid.

“I’ll bet I can tell you what flavor that chocolate is when you taste it.”

Atsushi gave him a doubtful look before handing him the lid. “Alright, then. Here’s a cheat sheet.”

On the lid, in Kyouka’s neat handwriting, read regular, orange, caramel, and coconut, indicating the fillings she put into the chocolates. Dazai nodded and watched carefully as Atsushi placed a piece in his mouth, letting the faint sweetness melt over his own tongue until a burst of citrus came through. Dazai barely flinched, and instead he watched Atsushi’s face contort in surprise and distaste.

“Orange,” Dazai answered plainly. Atsushi nodded.

“I guess orange is just not my thing,” Atsushi replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “That was an easy one. I guess it’s my turn.”

Dazai made a show of picking his chocolate, hand hovering over the box like a crane game until Atsushi scolded him. Finally, he plucked one from the top row, examined it, and gave Atsushi a pondering look. “Now, Atsushi-kun, I know you can do this. Just close your eyes, and envision whatever you think this is, okay?”

He popped the chocolate in his mouth, the same chocolate melting over his tongue, but much stronger. Soon he felt soft coconut on his tongue and he bit the candy in half, watching Atsushi smile when the coconut got stronger.

“Huh, that was ...strangely bold,” Atsushi commented. “I swore I could...taste it…”

Voice faltering, Atsushi gave Dazai an owlish look as he scoured his mind for an explanation. His cheeks flushed red, a color that tinted all the way to his ears. Atsushi seemed on the edge of a grand discovery, so Dazai thought he would give him a hint. “Could you? Perhaps we’re soulmates, Atsushi-kun.”

Everything clicked into place for the boy then. All the guessing games, all the efforts to compliment Dazai’s lunch with Atsushi’s- it all made sense. Dazai was sure Atsushi couldn’t get redder, but he did, quickly hiding his face in his hands.

“Hey, Atsushi,” Dazai mused, watching Atsushi peek up from his hands, “Isn’t coconut one of your favorite flavors?” Atsushi nodded, watching Dazai lick his lips, which still tasted of the chocolate candies. Grinning, Dazai reached for Atsushi’s hand to pull him closer, until they were face to face.

“Would you care for a stronger taste?”

#dazatsu #dazushi #dazai x atsushi #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #my stuff #my stuff dazatsu #dazai #atsushi #my stuff bsd

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musicprincess655 · 4 years

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“Atsushi-kuuun~”

Atsushi has learned to know when a dangerous tone of voice is sent his way, and the way Dazai just called him is nothing but dangerous.

“Yes, Dazai-san?” Atsushi should’ve run instead of answering.

“You don’t happen to be busy this afternoon, do you?”

Atsushi looks desperately for support. Gin is nowhere to be seen, and Atsushi has to respect her skills, because just a moment ago, she’d been sitting right next to him. He looks to Akutagawa. One side of Akutagawa’s mouth quirks up, but he returns to his book. Traitor.

Atsushi is on his own.

“I’m not doing anything,” Atsushi admits.

“Perfect!” Dazai says, clapping his hands together. “You can come shopping with me and Chuuya.”

Atsushi has an immediate flashback to carrying things around for Yosano. Somehow, he already knows this will be a whole new kind of torture.

“Shopping?” Atsushi asks, laughing uncomfortably. “Shopping for what?”

“Gear, spare parts, anything else Chuuya decides we need while we’re out,” Dazai says, ticking off his fingers. “Clothes, maybe?”

“Nakajima could use new ones,” Chuuya agrees from across the room where he’s moving machine parts around, taking stock of what they have.

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” Atsushi asks, looking down at himself. He’s wearing the same button down-pants-suspenders combo he’s had since he was old enough to start dressing himself.

“Well, I personally don’t see much to complain about, but I can see how someone might,” Dazai says.

“There’s nothing wrong with my clothes!”

That earns him a reaction from both Chuuya and Akutagawa. Chuuya only shoots a pitying look over his shoulder, but Akutagawa snorts into his book.

“Akutagawa, you wear a cravat. You don’t get to make fun of how I dress.”

“You could use some more cold weather clothes,” Dazai cuts in before it can become an argument. “Winters can get harsh here. You don’t even have a proper coat.”

Dazai may have the semblance of a point.

Atsushi has spent plenty of time with Dazai in the months he’s lived here, and plenty of time with both of the Akutagawa siblings. The one member of the household he’s barely spent any time with is Chuuya.

That is partly by circumstance. The minimal work Atsushi does with smuggling only rarely overlaps Chuuya’s, which is largely networking with vendors and others in the West Block and muscle for particularly dangerous runs. They just don’t have much cause to work together, much less one on one.

It’s mostly by choice, though. Atsushi has been a little scared of Chuuya since they met and Chuuya was obviously not what he seemed. He’s heavier, denser than expected, and his strength makes itself known every time he moves. Chuuya could crush anyone with barely any effort, and it shows in how he carries himself. He’s intimidating, and Atsushi is sure that isn’t an accident.

Not that Atsushi thinks Chuuya would ever hurt him. Atsushi has never really examined that, actually. He just knows that Chuuya intimidates him in a way neither the Akutagawa siblings nor Dazai ever have.

“So! Are you coming?” Dazai asks. Atsushi doesn’t feel like he has much of a choice.

“Sure.”

Dazai walks between Atsushi and Chuuya all the way into town, past the shacks on the outside to the taller buildings closer to the center, until it looks less like a slum and more like a city fallen on hard times. Atsushi and Chuuya only pipe in every so often, and Dazai seems content to let them phone the conversation in.

“Oh wait!” Atsushi’s sudden burst of curiosity overwhelms the awkwardness he feels with both Dazai and Chuuya. “If you’re smugglers, why do you need to buy this stuff? Can’t you steal it yourselves?”

“If we’re lucky, usually,” Chuuya says. “That can be a little hit or miss, though, and for some gear, we’re looking for specific stuff. At this point, it’s easier to buy things we need than try to hunt them down ourselves.”

“Like what?”

“Gin thinks she’s almost got the gun figured out, so she needs some really specific parts,” Dazai says. “And replacement parts for the rats Akutagawa uses are finicky little pieces. They’re hard to find on our own.”

“Plus, we don’t usually steal clothes,” Chuuya follows up. “Not a hugely profitable item. But obviously we need them for ourselves.”

“Makes sense,” Atsushi nods.

“And that takes us to our first stop,” Dazai says. It’s a proper storefront this far into the West Block, and it’s almost comforting when the bell over the door chimes. It makes the place seem so normal, like it could be any store in a forgotten corner of No. 6. “If you see old man Hirotsu around, he’s usually happy to help. And he’s good at collecting the weird stuff. We’re looking for parts like this.”

Dazai hands Atsushi a paper with hand drawn pictures on it.

“These are really good,” Atsushi says.

“Akutagawa has some skills,” Dazai says. “The ones on top are for him, the ones on bottom are for Gin. If you find one, hold onto it and bring it to us.”

Dazai leaves Atsushi with the paper and disappears between stacks of merchandise. Atsushi looks at the drawings again. If these are for finicky parts for the Akutagawa siblings, they’re probably small. He’ll have his work cut out for him trying to sort through these stacks, without even a guarantee that there’s something to find.

Atsushi manages to find one of the parts for Gin tucked into an old set of drawers, but it would take him weeks to search this whole shop from top to bottom, and he thinks that might be the point.

He was hoping he’d be able to find a part for the rats, though. Rashomon has something wrong with his leg, and he’s walking funny now. Akutagawa can only really use the other two for runs to No. 6 now, keeping Rashomon close to someone if Akutagawa is going to keep an eye out for them. It’s a small issue, but Atsushi knows it’s frustrating Akutagawa. The rats are his whole thing, and if he loses one, he loses a set of eyes, and it makes his job that much harder.

He’s been tinkering anyway, staying up late and keeping a lamp burning so he can work. It’s enough to keep Rashomon from breaking down entirely, but just barely. The light had shone in Atsushi’s eyes last night, waking him up, and he’d rolled over in his blankets to watch Akutagawa work, fingers fast and far more nimble than they seemed when still. They had been entrancing, hypnotizing, and Atsushi had sat awake watching until Akutagawa growled in frustration and shut the light off.

Maybe that was a strange thing for Atsushi to have done. As far as he knows, Akutagawa never knew he was awake. Atsushi had deliberately kept himself still, trying not to attract attention, because he didn’t want Akutagawa to notice, didn’t want him to stop.

It’s little things like this that catch Atsushi’s eye now. Little proofs of Akutagawa’s life around killing and violence. The way he can repair delicate machinery, the way he can use the rats to see without seeing, to guide them. He claims it’s not a skill to be proud of, but Atsushi disagrees. It’s more of an art than anything else, and Akutagawa does it beautifully.

Ever since Atsushi had the thought that Akutagawa is beautiful, that he wants to live in a world where Akutagawa is by his side, he can’t stop noticing things. Like the way Akutagawa’s bangs have grown so long with Gin hiding the razor that they brush the tops of his eyes. Like the way he sits, leaned against one hand, looking nearly regal. Like the way his eyes soften late at night, far too late for any of them to be awake, bright silver in the low light, shimmering and light.

Atsushi has never noticed so many things about a person before. And if it was just a simple attraction, he thinks it would be easier to deal with. But the thing is, it’s not.

Because Atsushi didn’t start noticing these things until after he and Akutagawa became…something. Friends seems not quite right, not with the anger between them, not with the threats and the ultimatums. Not when they’ve hurt each other the way they both have.

But he and Akutagawa are something, and it means that Atsushi only knows what Akutagawa’s eyes look like when they’re tired because they were both up far too late, debating the merits of destroying No. 6, an argument that hadn’t ended up being much of anything because they both got too tired to pursue it. He knows the way Akutagawa sits because they can spend time together in peace, and they do. Atsushi spends more time alone with Akutagawa than with anyone else, and they haven’t had a real fight since before Atsushi issued his ultimatum. He notices the difference in Akutagawa’s hair length because he helps Gin hide the razor to keep Akutagawa from cutting it all off in a fit of temper.

Atsushi only started noticing Akutagawa because of who Akutagawa is. Anything Atsushi’s mind labels as beautiful is intrinsically tied to a memory they share. It’s still attraction, but it’s so much harder to parse this way, and Atsushi isn’t sure how to begin trying.

“Oh, Atsushi-kun, you found something?” Dazai asks. In his haze of thinking, Atsushi has wandered back over to Dazai and Chuuya.

“I think so,” Atsushi says, handing it over. “I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be looking for.”

“We’ll send Akutagawa and Gin with you next time,” Dazai says. “If they know what they need, they can come find it themselves.”

“We got most of what we were looking for, though,” Chuuya says, holding up a bag. Atsushi can see a few knifes, a few belts, and some other various things he can’t identify without seeing them better. “Let’s just pay for what you found, and we’ll be on our way.”

The next store they visit is a clothing store, and Atsushi really should have known better than to think they were kidding about this. It wouldn’t make him uncomfortable, necessarily, except this is obviously about him, not Chuuya and Dazai, and to make matters worse, Dazai disappears once again with a call of Chuuya is better at this than me!

Which just leaves Atsushi, Chuuya, and a shopkeeper who can’t read the sudden tension.

“Hey, Nakajima.” Atsushi jumps, dropping the sweater he was half-heartedly examining. “Why are you scared of me?”

“I’m not…” Atsushi trails off as Chuuya raises an eyebrow. “You’re just…really strong?”

“That’s it?” Chuuya asks. He almost looks disappointed. “That’s all it takes to scare you?”

“No, but…”

Atsushi sighs as he tries to put into words the idea that Chuuya might have never threatened Atsushi, but sometimes, when Atsushi’s mind starts running away with itself, it doesn’t take much. Chuuya is built like a tank and sometimes when he stomps, it leaves a crater. Chuuya is just so loud, both his voice and his personality. Everything about him screams that he can take care of himself, and fuck anyone who tries to prove otherwise.

Then, of course, there’s the fact that they’ve almost never had a conversation. Everything Atsushi knows about him is from someone else. In Atsushi’s anxious mind, that’s enough to make Chuuya scary.

“You’d do anything to protect them, wouldn’t you?” Atsushi asks. He doesn’t have to say anything to let Chuuya know who he means.

Atsushi isn’t sure if he counts as part of the them.

“If you’re asking if I see you as a threat to my family, Nakajima, the answer is no,” Chuuya says. “You’d have done something already if you were going to. Besides, you care about them too. I’m willing to bet you’d do almost as much as me, if they were in danger.”

“That might be true,” Atsushi admits. Even though it was a rocky start, Dazai, Gin, and even Akutagawa count as family for him now. And he’s starting to think that should really expand to include Chuuya, too. “They can protect themselves, though.”

“I wonder sometimes about Akutagawa, but it’s not his fault Dazai’s the one that taught him to throw a punch,” Chuuya says. Atsushi snorts. “I guess Dazai did teach him something useful, though.”

“The rats?” Atsushi asks. “I though he learned that all on his own.”

“I was thinking more generally for a support role,” Chuuya says. “You’re good for him. You finally proved to him he doesn’t have to be strong to protect us. That’s good enough reason for you to stay as long as you like, as far as I’m concerned.”

“If you say so,” Atsushi says. It’s hard to be scared of someone who cares so openly about his family, especially since he seems to be considering adding Atsushi to that group just as much as Atsushi is considering the same for him.

Chuuya will not stop being loud just by existing, and Atsushi will not stop being anxious, but he doubts things like that have ever stopped either of them before.

“Alright, we should actually find you a coat,” Chuuya says, turning back to the piles of clothes in front of them. “Dazai wasn’t kidding about how hard winters can get. Find something lined with fur if you can.”

“What, so Akutagawa can call me Jinko again?”

“It had a nice ring to it.”

Atsushi huffs a laugh and starts to sort through, looking for anything likely. He’s about to make another comment to Chuuya when his hands fall on something white.

“Where did you get this?”

Atsushi can hear how his voice has changed, but he doesn’t stop, not even when Chuuya steps over cautiously, asking him what’s wrong.

“Did you find something you like?” the shopkeeper asks, not yet realizing the fury suddenly raging in Atsushi’s chest.

“Where did you get this?” he repeats, shoving the scarf out in front of him.

The same scarf Lucy always wears on her head.

It shouldn’t be something he recognizes on sight, but Lucy has always worn the same scarf, and Atsushi recognizes little touches of her embroidery on the edges, a touch of something pretty all her own.

“It’s just…” the shopkeeper looks at Chuuya for help. “Most of these are from the Correctional Facility in No. 6. They’re just thrown away, we don’t steal them from anyone.”

Atsushi’s mind whirls. He settles on a memory from yesterday. Akutagawa lying to him, the only time Atsushi knows for sure he was lying, and it was after Atsushi asked for news from the detective agency.

Akutagawa must have gotten a message about Lucy.

Atsushi drops the scarf, heading for the door.

“Oi, Nakajima, what are you-?”

“I have to go back to the bunker,” Atsushi says. His hands clench into fists. “I need to talk to Akutagawa.”

#shin soukoku #sskk #akuatsu #atsuaku #bungou stray dogs #bsd #my writing #no. 6 au #systasis

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no-longer-tainted · 5 years

Text

WIP Week 2019 [Day 5]

Question: What is your most used AO3 tag?

I guess it’s the shipping tag for Soukoku/both of them as characters + fluff

Your Canonverse or AU WIP

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs Shipping: Soukoku [Chuuya Nakahara x Osamu Dazai] Notes: I don’t have any canonverse WIPs so I wanna show you one of my Fantasy AU WIPs, I decided to make for the SKK Trope Bingo but it got too big with the idea so I created my own world for it. The WIP is the very first chapter and I hope you enjoy it <3

The darkness of the room was only broken with one almost burnt-down candle and a deep sigh was the only sound when a young man with orange hair let the red wax drop down on the envelope only to imprint his seal on it a second later. He couldn't tell how many hours have passed since he was working on that letter in front of him but it was a incredible relief having it done now. He closed his clear blue eyes and when he breathed in, he opened them again. "Atsushi?"

The door was opened soundlessly and a white haired man with a single black hair strain appeared in the door frame. He had a nervous look on his face and swallowed hard. The atmosphere in the room was heavy and usually, he wasn't allowed to enter this room. "How can I help you, Chuuya?"

Chuuya got up from his cushioned wooden chair with the letter in his hand and walked over to Atsushi. "You have to bring this letter to Kouyou." He reached the letter to Atsushi but he didn't take it from him right away.

"Why me?", he asked and frowned at the pitch-black envelope with the dark red wax seal on it. It hadn't any name written on the outside and the wax looked like a drop of blood. Chuuya had a meaning look in his eyes. "Are you sure? You-You worked the last five hours on it." Atsushi swallowed again. "It has to be super important!"

"Exactly." Chuuya held the letter closer to his friend and looked at him with raised eyebrows. "You're the only person I can entrust this letter with." With shaky hands, Atsushi took the letter and was anxious about bending the envelope by accident. "Can't you go yourself?"

Shaking his head, Chuuya laid a hand on Atsushi's shoulder. "I already told you I have to travel the opposite direction today." Chuuya knew it was not an easy task to ask from his friend because even after all those years, he felt uncomfortable around Kouyou. "If you want you can take Akutagawa with you." A resigning sigh made Chuuya chuckle quietly. "Also Kyouka would be happy to see you again after all those months."

"If you want to see me dead, just say so." Atsushi groaned and squashed the letter in his hands. "Wah-! I-I am sorry." He tried to flatten it between his hands and pressed it between them.

"You're my best friend, I just want the best for you," Chuuya answered with a fond smile and patted Atsushi's head.

Atsushi licked over his dry lips and pressed them into a thin line. "Okay, you won. But do you really think it's a good idea to start your journey today?" With a doubtful and insecure look, he left the room together with Chuuya. "It's New Moon in three days, you know."

"I know." Chuuya was more aware of the lunar cycle than any other person he ever met in his life and the mere thought made his stomach twist in loops. "But I'll meet up with Dazai in-" He stopped mid-sentence, not sure about how much time was left until he would meet up with this shitty mummy but it couldn't be that long anymore. "And you know about Dazai's ability."

Another sigh followed as an answer. "How are you able to trust him?" Atsushi looked at Chuuya and tried to read his facial expression but even with his better vision at night, he wasn't able to interpret it.

Chuuya just shrugged with his shoulders. "Is it trust? We just both have the same goal and Dazai needs someone to do the tiring and stressful work for him."

"I can't change your mind, right?" Chuuya didn't answer anything and that was answer enough for the other man. "I'm not sure if Kouyou will kill me for letting you go so easily or because I'll spend time with Kyouka." He sounded distraught and the 'Probably both' of Chuuya didn't help to calm him down. "Chuuya! Can't you take me with you and send someone else as messenger?" Despair was written all over his face when he stopped and turned around to Chuuya who fell a step back. "I'm still too young to die!"

"Sorry." Chuuya looked with a apologetic smile at Atsushi and grabbed the diagonal belt of his leather bag with both of his hands. It only contained a few things he would need on the journey and his savings. "I have to depend on you for this." He would go to Kouyou personally if it would be possible especially because he didn't see her for a few months either but the new clue he got from Dazai yesterday was more important.

"Then you have to promise me something!" Atsushi held out his pinky with a pretty long nail and looked at Chuuya with a serious expression. "Bring Dazai and yourself home alive!"

"Can't promise I don't kill this shithead." Atsushi's gaze didn't waver and let Chuuya flinch backwards. Of course, Chuuya knew how much Atsushi looked up to Dazai even though he lived with Chuuya but his own relationship with Dazai was tense - to say the least. Chuuya hesitated with intertwining their fingers. "An Isud can't die anyway." He didn't met Atsushi's gaze but he intertwined their pinkies. And of course, Atsushi was aware that Chuuya was only a dirty Halfblood and his last slentence was meant for both Dazai and him. Chuuya himself never tested his limits but he had the power of two races in him so it should be no problem to get back alive.

"Oh, Dazai!" Atsushi exclaimed happily and ran towards the man, leaving Chuuya behind and breaking his depressive line of thoughts. His inner beast shouldn't be a solution.

It was only natural that Atsushi would see Dazai first thanks to his night vision and Chuuya had to rely on the candle in his hand. When he arrived at Dazai shortly after Atsushi- standing casually in the entrance of his cottage in the woods outside of the town, he greeted him only with a half-nod of his head.

"Long time no see, Chuuya~", Dazai chirped and hugged him tightly as a greeting. His eyes lightened up when he saw Chuuya. "Atsushi already told me that you are so cruel to send him to Kouyou."

Chuuya struggled to get free from the hug and only managed to do so with throwing Dazai over his own shoulder. Despite him being smaller, he was physically stronger than this clingy ocotopus. "We saw each other yesterday!" Then he threw a look to Atsushi who took a few steps backwards under the glare.

A loud growl interrupted them and confused, Chuuya and Atsushi looked at Dazai. "What was that?", the youngest among them asked and ran outside. "Woah! Rad!"

Curious, Chuuya followed the other two man outside and even without a night vision he could clearly see what was in front of him.

Two majestic and bulky beasts. One of them was the purest white while the other was a the darkest black Chuuya has ever seen in his life. They had fluffy fur around their necks and ankles and the eyes of them were a bloody red. The fluffiness of them was destroyed with their huge fangs and horns. Chuuya took a few steps backwards and was overwhelmed. Seeing Beastmares was something happening not everyday because they were almost extinct. Their fur was the most prized thing in the whole Yishtair Empire.

"May I introduce-" Dazai pointed with his whole hand to the white Beastmare and smiled like he would introduce his cousin to Chuuya. "Phinya and-" He pointed with his other hand to the black one: "Zeraphin."

Like they knew he was talking about them, they growled. It sounded different than before but Chuuya couldn't tell if that was a good or rather a bad sign. His brain still wasn't able to give him words to speak so he just stared at the Beastmares in silence. They were beautiful creatures usually living in the woods of Evirm. Chuuya never had the chance to see them in natural and only read about them in different books and heard stories from Kouyou when he was younger. And to be honest, they were even more striking than any poem could describe them.

"I hope that's okay for your picky ass, Chuuya~" Dazai stepped closer to Chuuya and pointed at the white beast. "Phinya will be all yours for the time being." The white one growled and stepped closer to Chuuya and he took a step back. They were just fucking huge! Maybe three meters high.

Chuuya swallowed when the beast bowed in front of him and laid down, the head on its front paws. Slowly Chuuya got forward to Phinya and without letting his eyes off of it, he put his hand on its snout. It felt really soft but when it suddenly licked over his hand with its tongue, Chuuya flinched back and fell flat on his ass.

Dazai laughed. "She likes you."

So 'it' was a she? A beautiful pure white lady. However, Chuuya would almost bet his life that she wasn't even close to being pure as much as her fur color. "Can I too?" Atsushi's eyes sparkled like the stars on the sky and Dazai just shrugged with his shoulders.

"You're a beast yourself, they probably smelled you from ten kilometers apart." Dazai gave a command with his index finger to let Zeraphin come closer too. "Odasaku told me, they are siblings and about three years old."

That was pretty young for Beastmares, Chuuya thought immediately. "So you got them from Oda?", Chuuya asked and a strange feeling let his stomach spun around like crazy but he put the blame on his nervousness around the beasts. He got closer to Phinya again and she grunted happily? At least it sounded like a happy sound she gave through her nose. "You're beautiful," he praised her and stroked his hand through her long neck fur while Atsushi did the same with Zeraphin.

Atsushi was always good with all kind of creatures because with his tiger genes he bonds with them before Chuuya could even think about getting closer to any of them.

Phinya laid her head sideways in Chuuya's tiny hand and clearly enjoyed the share of kindness and affection of Chuuya.

Chuuya looked up when Dazai suddenly appeared next to him. "Don't make me jealous, Chuuya~" He sat down next to the other man and stroked through the fur of Phinya.

"What are you talking about?", Chuuya asked confused and looked at Dazai for a moment before the beast girl snuffed to get his attention back. For a moment, Dazai hesitated with an answer, like he had to overthink his chosen words. "She hated me in the beginning."

While in the background was Atsushi's lighthearted laugh, playing with the black beast, Chuuya had a shit eating grin on his face. "Deserves you right." Phinya's red eyes wandered to Dazai and for a moment they just exchanged looks, before Dazai clapped into his hands and stood up from the ground.

"Time to go."

Chuuya sighed. What a sudden change in the air. "Yeah." There was no time to play around. Atsushi's sad face when he said goodbye to his two new friends was gut-wrenching and Chuuya put a hand on his shoulder after he hastily rushed to Dazai and Chuuya. "I don't know when were back-" Chuuya looked over to Dazai who was pretending to not listen. "But as long as Kouyou receives the letter, everything is fine."

Atsushi hugged Chuuya goodbye. "I'll take care of everything." He didn't sound convinced but Chuuya believed in Atsushi nevertheless. After that, Atsushi walked over to Dazai who was already sitting on Zeraphin. "Please don't make Chuuya angry too often. I don't think Kouyou's anger is a painless way to die." Taking a few steps back, he watched the two majestic beasts and the two men on them, walking away.

Phinya had Chuuya let stay on her front paw and from there he jumped on her fluffy back. One last time he turned around to Atsushi. "Please take care of you and give Kouyou and Kyouka my greetings."

Before Atsushi could answer, Phinya growled loud and Atsushi blushed. "I-You! Please take care of Chuuya, Phinya!" Atsushi had the ability to talk with the animals living in the Yishtair Empire. The last thing Atsushi heard before they were out of is vision was another growl of Phinya.

#wipweek #wipweek2019 #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #fantasy au #soukoku fantasy au

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izanyas · 5 years

Text

Earlier Than Never

Written for skk zine, posted as part of the Soukoku Trope Bingo 2018 (prompt: School).

Rating: G Words: 5,200 No warnings.

Earlier Than Never

Chuuya's second year of high school should have been exactly like the first.

He did well in most of his classes. He had good friends. He was part of the soccer team, which had won every game he had played, much to their coach's delight. He wasn't involved in any of the occasional sordid stories and rumors that were part of all school experiences; he stood up against bullies, was appreciated by his teachers and classmates, and was occasionally confessed to by girls he had to turn down in spite of his embarrassment—and without quite revealing why he turned them down.

He should've walked his way toward the end of the year tranquilly, and Dazai should've kept ignoring him.

"You know," said the voice of the boy in question, much deeper now than it had been before Dazai had disappeared from his life, "I really wouldn't have pegged you for the top-of-the-year kind. Aren't sports kids supposed to get abysmal grades?"

He was leaning over Chuuya's shoulder, peering down at the physics homework spread over Chuuya's desk, and his words came with soft exhales around the bare skin of Chuuya's neck. Chuuya clenched his teeth reflexively. He also clenched his hand, crumpling the page of his textbook and making his scars redden.

Don't answer him, he told himself.

"But there you are, beating me in science. You used to be terrible at math, Chuuya; what on earth happened?"

"This is self-study," came Yosano's drawling voice from the row behind them. "Not study-your-neighbor, Dazai."

Chuuya's jaw only relaxed when he felt Dazai move away to look at her. He didn't have to turn around to know the face he would be making now; slightly bemused, slightly condescending, as if to ask her, Why would I need to study?

"I don't have anything to work on right now," Dazai replied, oddly polite.

"Nakahara does."

"Surely our resident genius can handle a few questions."

"I'm not your resident genius," Chuuya said between his teeth. He regretted it immediately, for Dazai seemed to take his spite as invitation and leaned over his desk again, sideways this time, so that Chuuya couldn't avoid having him within his sight. Furious with himself, he shot Dazai a glare. "I just work hard."

Dazai gave him a slow smile. With his head tilted, with how close they were to the windows, his hair lightened to brown. Strands of it brushed softly over his forehead.

Chuuya held his breath and looked away.

"You really like physics." Chuuya didn't make a move to stop Dazai as he slid the notebook out of his loose-fingered hold, and even without direct contact, Chuuya felt his fingertips tingle. "Your handwriting's still terrible, but these are some well-kept notes. I know our teacher wants you to study it in college, too."

Had the compliment come from anyone else, Chuuya would've thanked them. He would have felt flustered, a little flattered, proud of himself. As it came from Dazai, he only spat, "What is it to you anyway?"

There was a brief silence. "It's just interesting," Dazai replied evenly. "You've changed."

If Dazai wanted to get to know Chuuya again, he could've done so any time in the last year. Chuuya ripped his notebook out of the other's hold and started shoving his things back in his bag.

"Yosano," he called, ignoring Dazai's presence entirely and looking over his shoulder. Yosano sat a desk over, looking at them with boredom. "Wanna go get lunch?"

"I suppose it's close enough to the end of the period," she answered, eyes flicking toward the wall clock. "Though, we'll get chewed if we get caught."

"We won't. Come on."

He waited just long enough for her to have bagged her own books before rising from his chair. He pushed Dazai out of his way, and Dazai moved without complaint, following the press of Chuuya's hand like water swept by the tide.

Chuuya barely listened to what Yosano was saying while they crossed the corridor leading to Higuchi's classroom. He leaned by the wall next to the door as she stuck her head inside to invite her to join them.

It was a warm spring day, blooming pink and yellow over the wide school grounds. Chuuya let the sun wash over his face and felt only shivers.

"Welcome home."

Arthur's voice must be coming from within the kitchen. Chuuya eased his shoes off one-handed and tried not to stumble in the process. His backpack was only slung over one shoulder, pulling him toward the ground. He managed not to fall by awkwardly shoving himself onto the wall; behind him, the front door closed with a click.

Arthur's head peeked out of the open entrance of the kitchen. "You alive in there?"

"Yeah," Chuuya replied, smiling despite himself. "Sorry. Just tired from practice."

"You're running late. Your coach isn't working you too hard, is he?"

"S'fine. The season starts next week."

Arthur gave a sympathetic noise and went back to what smelled like dinner. Chuuya exhaled slowly, thoroughly, until at last some of the tension in his back filtered out. His calves and thighs still ached fiercely, but that was nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't fix.

"What's for dinner?" he asked once he had put on his slippers and made his way to the kitchen itself. He let his bags fall by his chair and took a seat, glad to see that the table had already been set.

"Pasta," Arthur announced proudly. "I think I managed to cook them al dente."

"Did you tell Paul already?"

"Who do you take me for? I sent him a snap the moment I took them out of the water."

Chuuya laughed. "How unfair is it," he declared, "that the best dad and the best sibling are both on the other side of the world. I haven't seen a vegetable that wasn't sadly boiled in a month."

"You can cook," Arthur replied, falsely accusing, even as he dumped a spoonful of spaghetti into Chuuya's plate. "You're just never around to do it."

"We can't all work from home, old man."

Dinner was a pleasant affair. It always was. Even with Paul and Kouyou gone to France—one to spoon-feed Arthur's new book to its intended public, the other for college—Chuuya didn't feel off in the least. Arthur was good company, with cutting humor and kind eyes. That had been what had driven Chuuya to him in the first place, eight-year-old that he had been, feral and rude and achingly lonely.

If he had been told then that he would one day have a place to call home and people to call family, he would've laughed until he cried.

Chuuya took care of the dishes despite his aching legs and Arthur's offer to do it himself. The activity soothed his mind of the day's thoughts, too many of which had been occupied by Dazai's weird behavior of late, and the scarring on his hands was old enough now that dish soap and water didn't irritate it too much. He barely spared it a glance as he set the plates up to dry on their own.

"I've got some homework left," he called from the kitchen, wiping his hands with a clean rag. "So I'm gonna head up now."

He could see the back of Arthur's head above the armchair he was sat in, no doubt putting endless edits onto an already-perfect draft. Arthur lifted a hand in his direction and said, "Good night, kid."

Paul always had an easier time calling Chuuya son than Arthur did, but even so, Chuuya heard the word for what it was. It kept him warm through the chest during all of his Japanese lit reading.

His phone rang sometime before ten, right as he was deliberating getting started on chemistry ahead of time. He took the call, as happy with the excuse not to as he was with its sender.

"Hi." He grinned as soon as Kouyou's face sharpened over the screen.

"Hello," she replied, smiling as well. "Hard at work?"

"Procrastinating. Where's Paul?"

"At some fancy editorial luncheon, I believe, singing Arthur's praise." It was afternoon still in France, and Chuuya could see sunlight around the shape of his sister, a stone wall at the back of her head and foliage from some tree brushing in and out of the frame. "How are you?"

Generally speaking they reserved calls for weekends, because of the awkward time difference and because it was easier for all of them to be present at once, so Kouyou and he had talked only days ago. Chuuya knew he had been withdrawn, though, and so he had an idea of the reason she had chosen a time when she knew he would be alone.

He picked idly at the numb burn scars marring the back of his wrists and hands. They weren't so very swollen now and thankfully not nearly as sensitive as they had been for months after the accident, but he still only had to focus for a second to feel the echo of that ache.

"I'm fine," he replied at last.

He knew he couldn't fool her.

"Chuuya," Kouyou said, predictably, in a less agreeable tone than she had used so far. "Something's bothering you."

"It's nothing important."

"But it's something."

Sometimes, Chuuya really wished that she weren't so perceptive.

"It's nothing," he repeated, but the words came with far less ease the second time around. "It's just—you know. Dazai."

Kouyou kept silent for a moment. When she asked, "Has he done anything to you?" her voice was cold.

"No," Chuuya replied too quickly. "No, he's just decided to stop ignoring me is all."

"What do you mean?"

He hadn't realized just how tightly he had withheld his thoughts, crushed them inside his chest like paper in a closed fist, until the words came flowing out of him at the sight of Kouyou's face, the sound of her static-filled voice. Each time he said Dazai's name came a little more easily. It was a year now since the boy had reappeared into his life; yet aside from mentioning his return once on the day he had turned fifteen, Chuuya had not said any more.

Fatigue threatened to pull his eyelids down by the time he was done. He had moved from desk to bed sometime during his messy rant, and was in the middle of changing into sleepwear with his phone screen turned away.

"I don't know what to tell you," she said to him, her head now resting fully against the wall of what must be her university building. Chuuya slid into bed. "I can't fix this for you."

"I know," Chuuya mumbled sleepily.

"But…"

She paused. The mic of her own phone was not powerful enough to pick up the wind he could see swaying in her hair, but Chuuya heard it all the same. For a moment, he pictured himself sitting next to her, breathing in smells different from those of Yokohama, lacking the salt that sea brought but perhaps a bit sweeter.

"I don't think he'd be speaking to you for no reason. Maybe he wants to apologize."

"I don't want his apology."

At least not for what Dazai probably thought he should be apologizing for. Chuuya stared at the back of his hands, where his skin was pink and white and melted-looking.

"Then maybe he just misses you, Chuuya," Kouyou said softly.

Darkness was tugging at the corners of Chuuya's sight. The exertion of the day caught up with him at last and made his body languid, his mind weak against the pull of sleep.

He had almost entirely given to it when Kouyou added, "You're very easy to miss."

The first game of the season came the next Wednesday. Chuuya spent most of that week allowing himself lenience on school work to focus on training instead, spending each evening in the company of his team, carving strategy into his head as deep as he did the physical drills. He didn't see much of his father outside of breakfast because, more often than not, he and Tachihara ended up getting dinner together after practice, too tired to do much more than moan about their fate.

Coach Oda had high hopes for them this year. The winning nationals sort of hope. Just because he was nice about it didn't mean that he was letting any of them, especially Chuuya, slack off any.

Chuuya spent the night before the game catching up on what little homework he could and then forcing himself into bed at ten o'clock sharp. Until midnight he stared at the ceiling of his room and listened to the comings and goings of Arthur downstairs. Arthur always wrote the most at night.

Somehow, he ended up falling asleep; and somehow, he woke up feeling refreshed, free of the almost-constant nausea that stress had knotted into his stomach all week. He ate with relief, showered, picked up his bag and made for his school.

Luckily, the game was to be held there. He didn't think he would be quite so calm if he had to step onto foreign grounds, no matter that the team they were playing studied only a handful of streets away.

"You ready for this?" Tachihara asked when he entered the locker room.

"We'll see," Chuuya replied, grabbing his offered arm firmly.

He turned his focus to the game after that. Changing into his team colors, warming up, all of it in a blur; soon enough he was on the field, surrounded by a surprising amount of people. It seemed most of their school had turned up, as well as a good chunk of their opposing team's. A cry of his name quickly brought his attention to where Higuchi sat, next to a smirking Yosano.

Dazai was behind them. Their eyes met for a second—just long enough for Dazai's lips to flutter into a smile.

Chuuya felt the cooling heat in his face awaken once more and turned away harshly.

It was a good game. Chuuya had not expected that they would lose, though their opponents had a new and better coach this year than the last time they had played each other. A coach was only as good as their team, however, and although the woman sitting next to Oda by the field's flank looked severe and involved, Chuuya's team was still a level above what she could handle.

Their win was expected, but it didn't stop the stadium from exploding in cheers once the final whistle was blown, nor Oda from congratulating them all warmly. Sakaguchi, Chuuya's literature teacher and the person responsible for the club, smiled awkwardly by his side.

"You're a force of nature, Nakahara," said one of Chuuya's teammates once they were back in the locker room and queueing for the showers. Shirase—that was his name—wiped uselessly at the sweat running down his face. "How the hell did you score that last one?"

"Luck," Chuuya replied honestly.

"Bullshit."

"Chuuya's just that good," Tachihara interrupted, happily throwing one arm over Chuuya's shoulder, laughing at Chuuya's grunt of displeasure. "Are you jealous you could only land one?"

"Shut up, Tachihara, you didn't score anything."

"I'm in defense, shithead."

"Are you on something?" Shirase sneered, turning to Chuuya once more. "There's no way you're just doing all that fair and square."

His eyes roamed up and down Chuuya's body. He was the tallest member of the team, long-legged and very fast for it. Chuuya had no love for him, and Shirase didn't like him either, but they rarely confronted each other directly. Chuuya thought himself more mature than to let rivalry put the team at risk.

"I guess being a teacher's pet helps," Shirase continued. "Or… you've never had a girlfriend, right? Maybe you've picked up on your daddies' tastes. Do you offer special favors—"

Chuuya punched him.

It wasn't a hard punch, but Shirase still bent in two over the zone of the impact, choking on a swear and turning red in the face. Chuuya's ears were ringing, his body tensing anew. His left knee bent in preparation for a kick.

"You fucking—"

"Nakahara," came Oda's voice.

Everyone seemed to freeze in their spot. Shirase straightened up painfully. The others, who had peeked over the shower booths or around the lockers to watch the commotion, quickly went back to their business.

"Yes," Chuuya said, feeling very far from his own body.

Oda nodded to the side of the door by which he was standing. "Someone wants to talk to you, if you've got a minute."

It took a while for Chuuya to make sense of his coach's words. Probably no more than a few seconds, but to him, they felt like hours.

"Sure," he replied slowly. He clenched his teeth. Released them. Stepped away from his friend and added, "I'll be right back, Tachihara."

"Uh, all right."

He made his way to the entrance of the room and past his coach, who gave him a glance that said I know what you just did and don't think I'll let it slide more sharply than words could. Chuuya's only comfort was that Oda stared at Shirase next with even more disappointment.

How Oda managed to convey so much while looking perpetually bored was anyone's guess.

The air outside came too crisply to his damp skin, chilling it almost instantly. Spring hadn't settled enough to make the wind was bearable. Chuuya found that it did little to help soothe the anger clawing up his insides; but then he saw Dazai standing a little way from the door, shoes stained by the damp grass and lips stretched into a thin smile.

Chuuya turned around and tried to make for the lockers again.

"Wait," Dazai called, hurrying after him and grabbing him around the elbow. "I just need to ask you something."

"I've got nothing to say to you," Chuuya gritted out, pouring as much loathing as he could into the word.

Dazai hesitated. His grip on Chuuya's arm relaxed, and Chuuya could have easily freed himself, with how slick he felt all over and with Dazai's apparent reluctance to hold onto him too tightly.

The observation only made him angrier.

For a moment they stood as they were: Chuuya half-turned away and Dazai looking almost lost. Chuuya still felt as though the blood in his veins was simmering. He would hear Shirase's hateful words echo through him if only he bothered to listen.

"Well?" Chuuya snapped, once the silence became too hard to bear. It didn't matter that chatter filtered out of the locker room as an easy distraction. "Ask your question."

Dazai's shoulders relaxed visibly. He let go of Chuuya's arm. "You were great today," he said evenly. "Though that's less surprising than the grades."

"You had all of last year to tell me that if you wanted to."

Chuuya wanted to do more; he wanted to add, asshole, to the end of his sentence, or yell it out instead. But Dazai looked away then as if shamed by his words—as if he could ever feel shame—and his throat shivered visibly.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow evening?" he asked then.

Surprise made Chuuya tell the truth without thinking. "No."

"Great," and now Dazai was smiling again, as devastatingly handsome now as he had been when they were thirteen and thought their world would never change. "Can you meet me at nine?"

"What for?" Chuuya asked defensively, instead of doing the smart thing and refusing outright.

Dazai shook his head. His smile turned a little more bitter. "Just trust me," he said. And then, probably realizing how that sounded: "If you want to."

Chuuya should say no.

It wasn't even because the last time he had met with Dazai on his own had turned out the way it did. That was very far from his mind. He should say no because he didn't owe Dazai anything, not anymore, not after two years of silence and a year of being made to feel as if he hadn't meant anything to Dazai at all.

"Maybe he wants to apologize," Kouyou had said, but Chuuya wanted no apology.

"Maybe he misses you."

Chuuya couldn't pretend that he hadn't missed Dazai either.

"Fine," he said.

Dazai's face lit up with his grin. It always did.

The thing was, it hadn't been Dazai's fault.

He hadn't been the one to make Chuuya fall. He hadn't placed the until then-unseen puddle of car oil where it was, ready to ignite at the touch of Chuuya's lit cigarette. They had hung around the disused garage countless times before, a secret lair for two children as so many other places of the kind must be for so many others.

The thing was that Chuuya and Dazai had once been friends. Chuuya had been adopted in France, where his Japanese mother had given birth to him before leaving him behind, where Arthur and Paul had married and lived their whole lives until choosing to adopt two kids no one wanted: an eight-year-old boy who had caused nothing but trouble for every foster home he had lived in, and a twelve-year-old girl who had done much of the same. They had moved to Japan after that because Arthur and Paul wanted Chuuya and Kouyou to live in their country of origin.

Chuuya had met Dazai almost immediately. It had taken no more than a day for the both of them to get into a fight at Chuuya's brand new school—a school he could go to without the shame of having to say that he had no home, no parents to come home to, for the very first time. And Chuuya couldn't remember why he had fought with Dazai that day, or why he had allowed the other boy to follow him around after that, bruised and angry even as they sat together on a bench and contemplated the wide world around them.

He couldn't explain why Dazai followed him, and why he let Dazai follow, and why he felt as happy with the thought of a friend as he was with that of a family. Back then the two hadn't been different to him; back then everyone in his life that he cared about was as good as kin.

So Chuuya and Dazai grew, picking fights with each other as often as they did not, lying side by side on the floor of each other's bedroom, sneaking around Yokohama for every dirty corner they could find and call theirs.

Chuuya didn't remember much of the incident after he had fallen. The doctors had told him that it was for the best because he had been in so much pain; Chuuya thought it was for the worst because he couldn't know if the anguished cry of his name he had heard when his arms took fire had been real or a nightmare.

For a very long time that was the last thing he heard from Dazai at all. Chuuya, bellowed from the lungs of a gangly kid, breaking over the vowels because his voice hadn't set yet.

All he knew was that Dazai had escaped unharmed. He let the thought float through his drug-hazed mind in the weeks he spent watching the burned skin of his hands and forearms heal. He hung onto it day after day, waiting for Dazai to visit him, to text him, to do anything to prove he hadn't been a figment of Chuuya's imagination all this time.

Dazai had long been gone by the time Chuuya was released from the hospital. He stayed gone for two years. Some of their mutual friends said he had moved overseas. Others said that he had died.

When he came back at the beginning of Chuuya's first year of high school, Chuuya thought for days that he was seeing a ghost roaming the corridors.

"Oh, hello, Chuuya," Dazai said the one time they bumped into each other with no one else around.

He never said anything else.

Chuuya arrived late to his rendezvous with Dazai because Dazai himself always arrived late, and he didn't want to look like a fool waiting for someone to show up. Not when he didn't know if Dazai would even bother showing up.

Dazai was already there.

"Hi," he told Chuuya, smiling.

Chuuya didn't know how to answer. He felt like smiling back, or turning away and going home. Most of all he felt like hiding his face into the shadows, away from the glare of streetlight, so that Dazai could not read from him what he did not want to be read.

They were at the entrance of Mitsuike Park. The sun had slipped behind the mountains, and the sky was a dark blue, yet people were milling about, families and couples walking in and out of the open gates with a soft murmur of voices.

"I didn't think parks stayed open at night," Chuuya said. He had to say something.

Dazai turned his back to him and replied, "Follow me."

The walkers around them became sparser the deeper they went. Dazai soon took Chuuya away from the paths and between trees and flowering bushes, always looking over his shoulder to make sure Chuuya followed, holding branches out of his way when one was too high to step over.

"I remember you said you'd never done this before," Dazai said at one point, chasing off the quiet.

Chuuya wasn't sure where they were anymore. The canopy overhead kept them from moonlight, making Dazai's trail difficult to follow. He guided himself mostly with the sound of the other's footsteps, almost too sharp against the thick silence and occasional watery sounds. At least the lake must not be far; Chuuya would be able to navigate his way back by following the shore if Dazai tried to lose him.

"Done what?" he asked.

"Hanami. Your dads are always too busy at this time of the year, and you never got around to doing it with someone else, right?"

Don't talk about my dads, Chuuya wanted to say. Shirase's insults were too close still to the surface of his mind, only a shiver away from breaking through and awakening his rage. But Dazai's tone wasn't mocking. Dazai has never said anything uncouth toward Arthur or Paul or Chuuya himself. Not about this.

"I've seen the trees plenty of times," he replied.

"Not properly."

Dazai stumbled on a root. Chuuya grabbed the back of his jacket to keep him from falling forward. It was a thoughtless act, not something he wanted to spend time analyzing; but before he could take his hand back he found it clutched in Dazai's own.

Dazai's hand was surprisingly cold. Soft and barely even damp. When his thumb brushed over Chuuya's scar, Chuuya stopped thinking entirely.

He was pulled forward and out of the thick greenery.

There was a little wooden balcony there that Chuuya had never seen before. It looked dusty, unused, perhaps forgotten by all. The lantern sat upon its bannister looked older than any Chuuya had seen before.

Yet it wasn't the sudden light that Chuuya was staring at.

Pink petals hung from the cherry trees and swayed into the breeze. No stars could be seen now against the glow of that lantern, but it didn't matter at all; not when every flower looked like cut paper on a canvas, drawn by hand onto the black sky, falling onto the quiet lake like snow.

"Come on," Dazai murmured.

Chuuya let himself be dragged towards the steps in front of them. He climbed onto the promontory with Dazai's hand still holding his. He couldn't look anywhere but above, at the streaks of black night running ink-like between glowing flowers. The surface of the lake was dot work, pink and white strewn overwater like little drops of paint.

"It's nice, isn't it?"

Chuuya couldn't have told how long it took him to look back at Dazai. He felt for once undisturbed by the smile on his lips.

He swallowed. "It's nice," he replied. "It's… it's beautiful."

Dazai had once accused him of always being swayed by pretty things. Chuuya had not told him how much of that applied to how Dazai swayed him.

"I'm glad," Dazai said. "I wanted to give you a nice birthday gift."

Chuuya frowned. "My birthday is next week."

"Ah, but they won't be blooming anymore by then. They're already late as it is."

Chuuya tried in vain to make sense of it. Rather than ask Dazai directly, he looked at the flowers again. Dazai's fingers in his hair almost startled his heart to a stop.

He allowed the other to pull whatever it was he caught out of Chuuya's hair—a petal, it turned out, and a leaf that must have been there since they worked their way through the trees.

"Chuuya," Dazai said then. "I'm sorry."

It felt like a dream, because Chuuya had dreamed of this many more time than he could count. Dazai appearing at the door of his hospital room. Dazai walking into class one day and grinning at him foolishly. Dazai sparing more than absent glances toward him as they crossed paths in hallways.

Dazai holding his hand under a roof of luminous flowers.

"It doesn't change anything," Chuuya said lowly.

"I know."

"You fucking disappeared. For two years. And then you acted like I didn't even exist."

"I'm sorry." Dazai seemed to brace himself. "I'm so sorry. I had my reasons, but I know they're not going to just erase everything—that is, if you're willing to hear me out." There was fear on his face, for a second, that Chuuya would not be. "But not now," he finished. "Now I just want to apologize."

And Chuuya had said time and time again, to himself and his family, that he had no need for Dazai's apology; but his heart felt swollen now, pushing up his throat and making his eyes burn.

"I hate you," he let out. He wound his free arm around Dazai's shoulders and said again, "I hate you so much," before embracing him.

Dazai laughed against the top of his head. His fingers twined with Chuuya's, pressing them together to gap the spaces in which they shook, taking in the warmth cradled in Chuuya's palm as if he had only ever been cold. Chuuya shoved his face into his shoulder and willed himself not to cry.

Dazai was the one who pulled away first. Chuuya felt the absence of his hand sharply, at least until it came to rest along his arm instead, thumb stroking over Chuuya's jacket. With a settling inhale, he leaned back as well.

"Your story better be damn good," he said shakily, once he had retrieved enough of himself to be able to speak.

Dazai smiled tiredly. He didn't make a move to avoid Chuuya's hand brushing the side of his face, though his cheeks colored at the contact, echoing Chuuya's own blush.

"I don't know if it's good," he replied, "but it's interesting."

Already, Chuuya felt something heal in him that he hadn't known was still bleeding. Already he knew that whatever Dazai's story was, he would forgive him for it.

He couldn't find it in himself to regret it at all.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #soukoku trope bingo 2018 #fic: earlier than never #finally i never have to look at this again #featured

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rosengoddess · 7 years

Text

Night Thoughts

It was another night of another day, another day of living in a dreary world, continuously seeing people meander around without a thought about the meaning of their existence, without a thought about the reason they are living, without wondering what they should actually do.

He doesn’t know why he is still here, allowing people to slowly feel attachment to him, allowing them to get close to him even though he is trying so hard, so very hard, to distance himself from everyone, from everything. He doesn’t want anyone to shed tears for him when he finally succeed, he doesn’t want anyone to miss him, to remember him when he finally manages to kill himself.

Dazai slowly pats Chuuya to sleep, watching as locks of red falls down his face before gently pushing them away, being entranced by the soft flutter of Chuuya’s eyelashes and the gentle snores that leaves him. He’s unable to understand how someone like him would tolerate someone like Dazai, how anyone could truly bear to try and understand him. He doesn’t know how this has happened but he’s sorry because Chuuya is now attached to him emotionally and he doesn’t know what to do when he finally dies because Chuuya would cry, Chuuya would blame himself and Chuuya would try to catch up to him.

Gently, he leaned back against the soft pillows, staring straight at the wall as he thought, not feeling the least bit sleepy as he wondered, wondering mournfully why Chuuya would care so much as to attempt to try to change his mind, try to make him understand why he is important, why he isn’t a burden to everyone around him. It’s futile but it’s is heartwarming, he himself cannot believe how anyone could find the time to try, to hope and believe that they can change the brunet. But for Chuuya, he can try, even if just a little, to love himself as much as he can.

Then again…

There are things he doesn’t want happening, things that he tried to prevent by leaving Chuuya and leaving port mafia. No one deserves to be burdened by his existence and he doesn’t know how to live on like this with people willing to share his pain.

He has tried so hard… So hard to avoid this lest people she’d tears for him, for someone who is no longer human. He doesn’t deserves their tears.

He just hope that he can one day make Chuuya forget, make Chuuya hate him so when he truly succeed in his suicidal adventures, no one would have their heart broken, no one will feel sad and cry,no one will have his death burden their soul but sadly, he knows it’s difficult, if not impossible.

Hearing a soft groan, the soft rustle of sheets, a familiar voice. He smiled sadly. Chuuya was awake again, if not half awake.

“Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” Asked Chuuya.

Slowly patting the redhead, Dazai hummed, wondering if he should take a chance and lie or speak the truth, something he can do and does freely when with Chuuya. Looking into those half lidded tired blue eyes, he decided on the truth, lips parting as he answered,

“I’m just thinking about life, that’s all.”

Chuuya watched him, clearly disbelieving his words. Not surprising, he always spoke half truths and in confusing riddles. So Dazai believes he shouldn’t let the redhead down on his warranted expectation.

“There is no sweetness without the bitterness of losing something.” Dazai says to Chuuya as he begins to try and go to sleep with a half awake Chuuya by his side.

“Then what is the sweetness and the bitterness to you?” Asked Chuuya.

Laughing bitterly, Dazai choked on his words but managed to explain somewhat,

“The bitterness is probably my bitter memories but the sweet ones are that of you. The sweetness is the possibility to being near you, being able to hear you, touch you and be with you again.”

Suddenly the conversation took a dark turn as Dazai bent his head downwards, shaking slightly as his hands clenched into a fist, his voice turning into a slight hiss, a slight drawl, a familiar sound that reminds him of Mori Ougai, the boss of Port Mafia, the brunet’s former mentor. A cold shiver of fear ran down the redhead’s spine at the thought of Dazai sounding like Mori.

“That’s probably why I’m here, still here and alive,"mused Dazai. "After the bitter regret of walking away, the sweet bliss of being by your side is all the more obvious now.”

Chuuya grimaced, the reminder that Dazai left Port Mafia was still obviously a sore spot for him but it was all in the past. Slowly, he reached out to the brunet, fingers gently moving down Dazai’s arm to his hands, grasping it gently before whispering soothingly to him,

“I won’t leave you, ever. No matter what? So please don’t try to leave me.”

“I’ll never leave you again, my sweet regret.”

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #dachuu #bsd fanfic #skk

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leebitslove · 7 years

Text

A Dress and A Jealous Man

Pairings : Nakahara Chuuya/ Dazai Osamu

—————-

It was just another night when Dazai and Chuuya went home after a job of butt-kicking and chasing down a traitor who was disguise as one of the low ranked Port Mafia’s members. They had to follow that bastard into an old aisle that reeks of dead rats and other stuff Chuuya couldn’t possibly mention of (Dazai thought his partner was just overeacting), just because the traitor stole one of Mori’s important documents along with some money from the big ass safe that the Port Mafia kept underneath the building. It wasn’t hard to retrieve the document back, no job is hard when you have the Double Black on your side. Dazai wondered what’s so special about the document, he insist at opening the brown envelope that was sealed tightly and read it for his own sake, but of course his little partner wouldn’t let him. Of course even though Dazai felt tired that day, he wouldn’t miss a chance to make fun of Chuuya’s height. He held the envelope up high above his head and his partner began jumping up and down to grab hold of it. After ten minutes of pointless (yet fun) bickering, Chuuya manage to use his ability without Dazai touching him and float the envelope to his own hands.

“Tomorrow I have a special mission for you both”, said Mori when they return to the Port Mafia’s base. “It is not like any other mission before. but I think Chuuya had already been through this before, so I’m putting him in charge for tomorrow”.

Dazai saw a twinkle of excitement at Chuuya’s eyes. Oh this is gonna be fun.

“I’ll do my best”, the little mafia said.

Mori nodded and closed his eyes for a second and then directing his gaze towards Dazai, “And as for you Dazai-san, you must follow every instructions your partner give. Understood?”.

To tired to complain why Chuuya is in charge and what mission their boss will give tomorrow, he gave Mori a curt nod.

“Good”.

—

The next day Chuuya was nowhere to be found, Dazai had called his cellphone for the seventh time and still no answer. He had search the entire building twice. He even plan to go to Mori to make a search party. Should he worried? Maybe not. Even though that hat rack might look small and fragile, he could easily crush two dozens of Port Mafia’s men, with or without his ability. After all Dazai’s partner is the best when it comes to martial arts, well aside from Dazai himself maybe. Maybe Chuuya went out with Kouyou that’s why Dazai didn’t see him around.

Without the redhead by his side, Dazai felt lonely and bored. No one to make fun of, no one to babble about his crazy suicidal plan. They’re suppose to receive instruction from Mori at four in the afternoon, but Dazai couldn’t find Chuuya, so he decided to went to his boss’s office alone.

He was greeted with the sound of Elise running towards him, she tug at his coat and made him follow her to the back of Mori’s office. “Elise-chan where are you taking me?”. The little blonde girl just kept going until they were in front of a big wooden door.

“Chuuya… are you finish yet?”, ask Elise in a sing-a-song voice. Dazai’s eyes widened a bit when Elise mention that name. He heard a grump that’s suppose to mean “yes” (please he spent too much time with Chuuya, he knows every habit that little mafias has).

The wooden doors opened, and Elise step into the room, still pulling him along. Dazai was not prepared for what he sees next.

There stood Chuuya in the middle of the room, with scattering clothes (well, dresses) around him. The redhead was wearing a long velvet dress that goes down to his ankles, the dark color made his blue eyes pop and the dress has a slit that went up just a little up his knee. He was wearing heels too, making the shorter one look at least a bit tall. His hair that reach above his shoulder was pulled back into a loose bun, his loose hair frame his petite face making Chuuya look much more like a girl. A very pretty girl.

Dazai was having a nosebleed right now. Chuuya could feel the brunette’s gaze rake him up and down, taking it all in. He finds himself blushing and tried to cover up the slit of the dress with his black leather gloves.

“Dazai-san! Are you listening to me?”, said Elise.

“Huh? What?”.

“I said do you like the makeover that i gave to Chuuya?“

Elise giggled seeing Dazai’s stunned expression, he was still staring at Chuuya with his mouth slightly open.

“What are you looking at you perverted bandage bastard!”, Chuuya shouted at his Dazai. His blush spread across his cheeks and he could feel is crawling down to his neck.

By now, Elise smile knowingly and decided to leave the two alone. “Elise-chan don’t leave me alone with this crazy suicidal freak”, he begged, but the blonde just smiled sweetly and ran out the room. She even close the door. Chuuya had to remind himself that she was just a little girl who knew too much.

Dazai took a step forward, his long legs easily guide him to Chuuya. “Hell no, if you take another step forward i swear i’m gonna kill you”. Dazai’s eyes darkened and he gave him a smirk that Chuuya know too well when his partner is up to something. “With pleasure”.

Chuuya scrambled to the other side of the cluttered room, not wanting for Dazai to be near him. ”Awww Chuuya but you look so cute in that dress”. “FUCK YOU DAZAI!”, was all Chuuya could manage because he couldn’t think of any good comebacks… and well, because Dazai called him cute. Chuuya ran (or rather limp) towards the door, the only way to get away from crazy bandage man. Man these shoes are killing my feet, how did women manage to do this everyday?

Within seconds Dazai was already in his view blocking the exit. Dammit. “STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU IDIOT”, Chuuya shout gathering up his dress so he could make a run for it. Bad move. Again, Dazai stare at his now bare thighs. Chuuya didn’t know what happen next, Dazai got hold of him in a blink of an eye and he was pinned down to the wall. “Why would i stay away from you when you’re looking like this?”, Dazai whispered at Chuuya’s ear, it made him shivered and wanted to close his eyes.

Dazai’s hands were now at his waist and then traveled down to his thighs keeping eye contact with Chuuya. He parted the slit of the dress and started to rub the redhead’s thighs up and down earning a small groan from Chuuya. “You look so beautiful in a dress”, Dazai said. “You’re going to ruin it”. His lips brushes Chuuya’s neck and kisses it gently, at that contact Chuuya was a weak jelly on the knees his heart was beating so fast he thought he could die from getting neck kisses.

“Are you nervous Chuuu~yaa?”. The bandage bastard put his bandage hand on Chuuya’s chest and with his other bandage hand playfully pulled down Chuuya’s dress strap. Dazai kisses his pale shoulder and suck on it causing Chuuya to slip from where Dazai was trapping him. The brunette notice this and grab hold of Chuuya’s waist. He felt drunk now that Dazai was touching him everywhere.

The light kisses and thigh grabbing stop when the door open. Chuuya frantically sprang away from Dazai, smoothing out the wrinkles from his now ruin dress.

Mori came in and beam at them both, “Ah I see that you two is already in character, I suppose the mission will go well then”.

Dazai had no idea what he was talking.

—

Chuuya is wearing a dress. Chuuya is wearing a dress. It was all Dazai could think of in the way to their destination, he ended up in a nice dark brown suit that fitted his broad shoulders. They were going to a fancy party where they must find this specific man name Chevalier Beaumont (a bad name indeed thought Dazai), a rich french man who work for an organization who is know Port Mafia’s number one rival and is known for his eccentric fashion taste. That man also loves to attend exclusive parties, so this was a good opportunity for them to find him because Mori got invited but decided it was the best if Dazai and Chuuya go instead of him.

Beside who’s going to take care of his dear Elise-chan?

Mori gave specific instructions not to kill Beaumont, even if they found the chauvinist french bastard annoying as hell. They had no idea what was Mori talking about but nodded anyway.

The party was held for specific members of the organization and they all had to bring a partner to enter. A foolish party Dazai thought when he first heard from Mori. But he looked at Chuuya and thank Mori for giving him this mission. He could see Chuuya wearing that dress all night, maybe he could dance a little with him if there’s time. That thought excite Dazai’s mind.

Finally they arrive at the party, a big white mansion with a huge marble fountain at the driveway. Dazai was driving a nice shiny black sports car that Mori gave him. He park the car along with the other shiny cars beside a wall.

Chuuya who was sitting quietly beside Dazai rummage through the backseat and open a big bag twice the size of him. “What is that?”, ask Dazai.

“My clothes”

A wave of disappointment wash over Dazai. “Why do you bring them?”.

“There is no way I’m going out in this dress, the weather is just too cold”

“You could wear my blazer”, Dazai said shaking his blazer off. “No no no you don’t need to, I bought my own”. Oh.

“But Chuuyaaa.. I really wanted to see you in a dress”, Dazai whine like a three years old. “Hell no!”.

Dazai took a deep breath and close his eyes. Fuck no, not now, not here.

“Pleasee…???”. Ughh there it is the infamous puppy eyes that only Chuuya could see. Being the only one that could see Dazai beg and do puppy eyes is suffering, Chuuya has no one to share his sufferings with since Dazai only does it to him.

“FINE YOU IDIOT”, Chuuya cross his arm across his chest and pouted. Without warning Dazai lean in and kiss his cheeks. Chuuya went red all over.

They went into the mansion easily, showing their pass that Mori gave them before to the two guards at the entrance. Dazai didn’t like the way the guards eyed Chuuya, he swear he heard one guard whistle as they went in. It made him want to turn back and destroy their fucking face.

Learning from his mistake, Dazai slip his arms around Chuuya’s petite waist and bring him closer to his side. “WHa- what are you- you’re squeezing me Dazai!”.

Dazai smiled at him, “That’s the point”. What the fuck? thought Chuuya. Is he going double crazy tonight?

There were a lot of fancy looking guys wearing expensive suits and probably a designer bow tie, the shoes were polish so clean, Chuuya could see his owl reflection as he and Dazai pass by. There were few women in there, Chuuya notice that each one of them were carrying a silver or gold fan, embroidered with sakura flowers. Is he suppose to have one? Did Mori forget to include it?

By now Dazai’s grip on Chuuya’s waist becomes more and more tighter as they walked deeper into the big room. They arrived at a big hall with a big chandelier to match with it, and darker too despite the hanging chandelier. The lights were all dimmed as the two made their way to the center.

The hall was crowded with men and not a single women, all of the women preferred to stay at the entrance hall. Chuuya scan the room looking for Caviar Man (Yes, that’s what he’s gonna call him now).

“If you see a man with overly dress clothes that’s him”, said Chuuya.

“I got it Chuuya, finding him will be as easy as an owl spotting its prey”.

“That is the dorkiest thing you ever said”.

“Shut it”, Dazai whispered.

There was no overly dressed man for the next ten minutes, so Chuuya decided for them to split up. And of course Dazai doesn’t agree.

“This is not a good idea”,

“Why?? You have a better one?”

“I’m just saying that we should not split because what if he has an ability?”

“Are you forgetting something?

“Your height?”

Chuuya hissed like a cat, wanting to punch Dazai in the face.”I can fight you idiot!”

“Oh? But are you forgetting something?”

Chuuya was fuming, he was suppose to follow every instructions Chuuya give.

“Your will to live?”, Chuuya retort back.

Dazai didn’t answer instead he lean close making Chuuya toppled a little, “You’re forgetting that you’re wearing a dress”. He can feel Dazai’s hands on his back, playing with the fabric of the dress. Snap out of it Chuuya!

“So? You think I can’t handle myself if i’m wearing a dress? And you’re suppose to follow every instruction i give you!”

Dazai smiled clearly amuse by his fiery little partner, but before he could said a single word, a man with a tall top hat came into their sight. The man was wearing white suite that is way too tight around the shoulders, there was a drawing of a big red dragon on his suite and a red tie to match with. His shoe was also shiny, polished just like the other men except that his was bright gold and red.

Chuuya cringe at the sight of him, and cringe even harder when he saw a women came running after him throwing her arms around Chevalier and started to kiss him. Before Chuuya could take a look closer at the eccentric man, Dazai spun him around so that he was face to face (more like face to chest) with him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”, Chuuya half yelled, he felt Dazai’s hand snaking up from his hips and land on the petite’s waist. Blood started to rush to Chuuya’s face, lucky for him the room was dark enough so that no one could actually saw him. A slow music started to play and suddenly the women who were at the hallway entrance began to dance with their partner, Dazai didn’t answer his question (as always) instead he took Chuuya’s hand and swept him to the dance floor with the other partners.

Oh. He was so focused on Chevalier that he didn’t notice the music and women looking for partners to dance.

Now he was staring at Dazai’s chest while they dance, he wouldn’t dare to look up because he knew and felt that Dazai was looking at him. The touch of him this near was already enough to make Chuuya weak in the knees- “Chuuya”, he heard his name being called from his partner. He didn’t look up but just stare harder at Dazai’s chest.

“Chuuya”, Dazai said again this time with a little sigh. That’s it he’s not gonna survive this night he’s not gonna catch Chevalier and finish this job just because Dazai said his name that way. Why is he so weak? Why can’t he just look up to that brown eyes like he usually did when they’re arguing.

“Hey what’s wrong?”, ask Dazai gently as he tilt Chuuya’s chin up to make him look. They were still on the dancing slowly to the music. “Nothing”, the redhead replied. Then to his surprise Chuuya rested his head to Dazai’s chest he felt a sudden urge to protect Chuuya even more than before seeing him so small and cute in his arms, he then kiss the top of Chuuya’s head giving him reassurance.

The music ended too soon and all of the women in the room parted from their partners, Chuuya too realize that they still had a job to do so he pulled away from Dazai (with great difficulty) and started to search for the man in dragon suite.

“So what’s the plan?”, ask Dazai.

“Just follow my lead”

“You’re so bossy sometimes”

“Shut up”

Chuuya was dizzy from the crowded room and lose track of where Chevalier go, suddenly a man bump into him and sent Chuuya falling backwards. If he was not in these high heels then he would not had fallen, too bad he is. Dazai caught his arms and pulled him back, Chuuya steady himself on the carpeted floor.

“Hey watch where you’re going”, Chuuya said. He then realize that the man he bumped into was wearing white suite and there’s no other man in this room that wore white except Chevalier Beaumont. Dazai was already giving the man poisonous looks.

“Oh I’m so sorry madame, forgive me for not seeing such a beautiful young lady standing in my way waiting for me to ask her to dance”, Chevalier said. Dazai’s face looks like he wanted to puke on the man’s expensive shoes, he wanted to just kill him now it doesn’t matter if the other man sees it, he just wanted this Chevalier to be gone.

“Oh.. why don’t you ask me then?”, said Chuuya adding sugar to his voice he could feel Dazai’s gaze like laser beside him. As if on cue the music started to play and Chevalier took Chuuya’s hand and lead him to the dance floor, Chuuya point to a door near a big painting of Napoleon Bonaparte, he guess that’s where Dazai should wait and then tranquilize that bastard. But he doesn’t want to leave Chuuya with that filthy french man, who knows what could happen the thought of the french man holding Chuuya’s waist made Dazai sick on the stomach. So instead of following his partner’s orders he sneaked behind a huge potted plant near the door and wait there, that way he could crack Chevalier’s head into two if he cross the line.

Chevalier was twirling Chuuya around like an expert dancer while he talked endlessly or rather brag endlessly about his house back in France and all the expensive cars he own. Chuuya smiled politely and force the dance to get near the door so this could be over, it work but he was half dragging Chevalier. “Mon cherie you should learn how to dance like a lady, perhaps i should teach you sometimes”, the thought of having Chevalier teaching him how to dance made Chuuya wanted to feed him to the lions at the city zoo. “Or perhaps you would prefer this?”, the french bastard’s hand let go from Chuuya’s hand and went down to his dress slit. Shit he forgot that he’s wearing a fucking dress.

In reflect he hit the bastard’s hand and kick his groin hard, Chevalier let out a groan away, clutching his pain area. Of course Dazai heard this and so was the entire room. Chevalier gave a small wave to the crowds signaling that there’s no need to look here. Chuuya expected the man to spit and curse at him but, “You’re very strong for a little lady”, said Chevalier who was now half wincing and smiling at him.

Behind the potted plant Dazai was ready to kill the man for trying to touch Chuuya like that, hell he doesn’t care about Mori’s words anymore, all he wants right now is that french bastard to get away from his Chuuya. He move quietly from his hiding spot and sneak into the chatting crowds, he then made eye contact with Chuuya and the redhead’s eyes went wide, Dazai saw him mouthed what are you doing here?

Chuuya wave him away frantically before Chevalier could see him. Dazai sigh and had no choice but to follow his orders, he went to the door and open it without anyone noticing (thank god for the big curtains and Napoleon) but before he could step out he took one last glance at Chuuya, the redhead saw him and mouthed once more, go!

Dazai step out into the cold night, the door led him to a huge terrace the floor was made with white marble stone Dazai nearly slipped on it when he went out. There was a garden with multi-colored roses, big plants with equally big pot, and a pond in the middle of the pond was a fish marble statue it’s mouth gaping open and pouring out water. He looked around for a hiding spot and settle behind one of those big plants, Dazai started to like big plants because it’s a good hiding spot plus there’s a bench he could sit on while waiting for Chuuya.

He puffed out a breath and smoke came out of his mouth, he tried not to be anxious he keeps reminding himself that Chuuya could also fight and kill when in dangerous situation, but still, maybe he should take a look and see what’s going on in there. Dazai rubbed his hands together to keep him warm, his feet are already numb from the cold. Suddenly the door opened and came in Chuuya and Chevalier hand in hand, Chuuya’s acting is really good Dazai wonder if he practice that before the mission.

“Ahh it’s nice to spent this evening with such a lovely young lady, I am lucky to get to know you Adalene ”, Chevalier beam. Wow he even fake a name. What could they possibly be doing inside when Dazai was out here? He wanted to slice the man’s throat and jar it up like Frankenstein. He watch as Chevalier drew Chuuya’s hands closer and put his hands on the bastard’s chest, he could feel Chuuya sucked in a breath trying to stay calm.

“I enjoy this evening too”, breathed Chuuya, trying to sound like a damsel in need of a weirdly dress circus clown. “It was a pleasure to meet you”, Chevalier said again. Yes wait till you meet my fists, let’s see how much you like that.

Dazai was ready with the tranquilizer and he waited (patiently) for Chuuya’s signal. He was in a great position, Chevalier was standing with his back facing Dazai so he could easily stab him with the needle or maybe shot him with it.

“If you must then do it”, he heard Chuuya said.

What? do what?

Then he saw the unthinkable. Chuuya’s hands slip up to Chevalier’s hair and playfully tugged, he heard Chevalier groan a little and pulled Chuuya closer to him so that their lips were inches apart. Chevalier lean towards him and-

The french man let out a muffled scream (because Dazai was already putting a sack with little holes in the man’s head, Chevalier fell to the ground. Dazai heard Chuuya snickered and then turn into a laugh, “You thought I was gonna kiss him right?”.

“Maybe... I was just thinking what if he has one of those mouth disease then you will catch it and then spread it through all the Port Mafia”, Dazai said looking down at the paralyze body.

Chuuya laugh even more, now it was time for him to tease the brunette

“Aww..just admit it”

“Admit what? I have nothing to admit”

“That you’re jealous”

Dazai’s eyes look at him sharply and at the same time grab Chuuya’s hands. The redhead tried to yank away his hand from him, “I HAVE ENOUGH OF MEN GRABBING MY HANDS FOR TONIGHT THANK YOU VERY MUCH”, Chuuya tried again but Dazai got an iron grip and he was now staring at his chest again.

“Jealous doesn’t even began to cover it”, said Dazai his voice low. Chuuya gulped he felt the alcohol from his dance with Chevalier started to kick in, “No one can dance or touch you like that except me. Got it?”, Dazai continue.

It was just all acting and Dazai was taking this way too serious, but Chuuya let it play because he likes seeing Dazai claiming what is his. No longer embarrassed because of the alcohol, Chuuya graze his lips againts Dazai’s. Soft as he remember.

“Or what?”, ask Chuuya

Soon enough Dazai’s lips were on his and they were kissing each other messily without a rhythm. Dazai played with Chuuya’s dress just like in the dressing room when he first saw him in that dress, Dazai kissed Chuuya’s soft skin on the neck and traveled up to his lips once more, he rubbed the redhead’s waist gently where that french man laid his hands on. Dazai kept kissing him, his hands sliding up and down Chuuya’s small figure, he could feel Dazai’s cold hands on his now expose thigh.

“We should-” kiss. “probably-” kiss. “head back” kiss.

Chuuya couldn’t say stop or parted away from Dazai, he was all over him, the brunette started to sucked on his lower lip and kissing him gently after. Dazai;s hands that was on Chuuya’s thighs now went in and trace his finger on Chuuya’s lace stocking waistband, the brunette tug on it pulling him closer. The redhead moan and Dazai smiled slyly between kisses. A hundred kisses later, Chuuya pulled away from Dazai, panting hard his lips swollen and his dress was a mess. He wrap his hands around Dazai enjoying the warmth of him and smelling his familiar scent. He felt hands stroking his hair softly and then kiss on his head. “We should go before the tranquilizer wear off ”, said Chuuya.

Dazai look at him softly and smiled that reserve smile that he always gives to Chuuya.

“Don’t worry I got plenty in my pocket”.

#soukoku #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs #bsd #fanfic #soukoku fanfic #ff #akutagawa #shin soukoku #atsushi #anime

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masked-buffoon · 3 years

Text

Chapter 13: Filled emptiness (Part 2)

Warnings: cursing, angst, mentions of addiction

Author notes: that one is a very long part (around 3k words...). I tried to separate it, but it just wouldn’t fit, so here you go...! I think it’s been too long since we’ve had angst, so, as an author, it is my duty to write some for you XD please enjoy it!

"Kunikida-kun is so annoying~" Dazai whined as we arrived at his place "I did help the two of you~"

"Won't you admit that you could have done so earlier…?" I raised an eyebrow, removing my shoes.

"Well, it isn't wrong that it was funny to see you struggle…~" He chuckled.

"See…?" I sighed "That's why Kunikida is so tired of you…"

"Is that so?" He shrugged it off "I didn't know~"

I gave up trying to reason him. After all, messing around with our coworker was also something I did, although less than Dazai.

Even though it had almost been half a year, I still did not have a place of my own. The money I had started saving was not enough to rent an apartment, after all. For the moment, I thus stayed at my friend's, who had not lent me his bedroom. His place was divided in two rooms; a bedroom and a living one, where he was supposed to eat. I was his guest but he had graciously accepted to make me sleep in the living room… What a perfect gentleman Dazai was… Hopefully, I would soon be able to get my own apartment in the Agency's dormitory and sleep in my own comfortable windowless bedroom instead of waking up everyday because of the daylight.

"What about opening a bottle of sake to celebrate the end of the case?" He suggested.

"I don't want to drink tonight…" I declined "Tomorrow, I have an appointment with Yosano-sensei for my… Detoxification therapy…"

"Oh, I see." He did not insist "Let's just have a quiet evening then~"

"I'd like that." I smiled "By the way, did I tell you Uemura-san would teach me how to cook?"

"You didn't. That's great~"

"That's obviously not to feed you." I huffed "It is so I don't have to eat crab cans my entire life."

"You're mean…~ I do eat instant noodles as well…~"

"I can finally eat properly after all this time, it's not to have a diet based exclusively on junk food." I said simply.

"You might be right after all." He hummed "So, should we order something tonight?"

"... I'm still saving money..." I looked away.

"And I'm already indebted to the cafe beneath the Agency… I suppose that's either instant noodles or crab can tonight~"

He had tricked me again…

After eating frugally yet another evening and taking a relaxing bath, I unfolded the futon I borrowed from Dazai and let myself flop down on the mellow blanket, exhausted. Unexpectedly, my friend lied next to me.

"What are you doing…?" I questioned, eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm too lazy to go to my room…~ Besides, can't I stay with my friend~?"

"You've never done that before…" I noted. Is there a reason for your sudden behaviour?"

"You're wrong…" He chuckled, pulling a book out of nowhere "We've already been in a similar situation… Numerous times…"

"Cancelling my ability doesn't count…" I looked away.

He sighed slightly and casually started flipping through the pages.

"What are you reading? The same book about suicide methods again?" I asked, changing the subject.

"A good book is still good, no matter how many times you've read it~ Should I try committing suicide like this?"

He showed me the weirdest picture; a man sat in a large can, legs above his head. The method was supposed to kill him by eventually ripping his body in half. I stared at Dazai.

"Do you want my approval or my opinion?"

"I already know you won't give me your blessings for my suicide~" He grinned "Just tell me what you think~"

"Well… The chances you die are very low… It looks more like a… Torture method to me…"

"Eh? So it's painful…?!" He exclaimed, dramatically "I'm not trying that then…"

"I hope not…"

I took a book too, a mystery novel, and tried to distract myself from his annoying humming. I wanted to solve the crime before the fictional detective, but hearing Dazai sing next to me did not help me focus. After a moment, I put the book aside, and turned towards him. He had not turned a single page.

"Dazai…"

"What is it, Ogawa…~?"

"Let's get changed. We're going out." I said, standing up.

"Eh? But I've already taken a bath…~" He whined.

"Don't question it."

I should have doubted that this day would be strange, and that he would feel even more bothered by his usual torments. While he was putting his shirt on, I called the Fox.

"Do you know what time it is…?" He grumbled.

"Early enough, since you're awake." I smirked "I need you to find me something important… I need them in an hour…"

When I told him what I wanted, he yelled at me, but it was quick to hang up and avoid his scolding.

"So? Where are we going?" My friend asked me.

"You already know the answer…"

A shadow clouded his face, and he simply nodded. It had already been three years since that tragedy, yet it still seemed as present in our mind. Softly, I opened the door for him and called a taxi. It was dark, outside, a moonless night only enlightened by the stars and the lampposts in the streets. In that part of the world, humans still had the luxury to protect themselves against the monsters of the darkness.

The Fox was waiting for us in front of the cemetery, a bouquet of white lilies in his hands. As he gave them to me, he whispered:

"You owe me one."

I only nodded, and asked that we were left alone. Far from the entrance, under a majestic tree, which branches gently flustered with the wind, laid a single gravestone which bore the name of Dazai's late and most precious friend. When I looked at him, despite the lack of light, I saw he was expressionless. And motionless, too. I took his hands into mine, and placed the bouquet into them with a smile.

"This is important for you… Take all the time you need."

"... Thank you… You remembered…"

"In all honesty, I thought you'd slack off to pay him a visit, today… I'm sorry I was wrong…"

"Don't wait for me and just… Go back…"

I pulled the key to his apartment from my pocket.

"You know, I closed the door earlier. And…"

I placed them in his coat.

"I can't go back if you have them."

"Ogawa, I —"

"I'll be just at the entrance."

Surprisingly, the Fox was still there when I went out of the cemetery. I grinned at him.

"So~ What can I do to repay you for your help~?"

"Aren't you tired, Ogawa-san?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, and crossed my arms.

"What's with the sudden politeness? It's unlike you to be so formal…"

"I thought you might take me more seriously like that."

His face was severe. It was the first time I saw him without a childish expression and, suddenly, he did not seem like a teenager anymore. That reminded me we were the same age.

"Alright. Tired of what, Fox? I'll answer you, just… Drop that "-san"... I'm not used to it from you…" I gave up.

"Sure, I didn't plan to call you that endlessly anyway." He shrugged "Just tell me… How long are you going to pretend you're happy?"

"What are you talking about? My life really has changed for the better. I never thought I'd reach twenty-one years old, in the first place and I can even control my ability…" I sighed "Everyone in the Agency is so friendly, and I'll finally get treated for that damn morphine addiction, how can't I be happy…?"

"Well, since humans are all different, we all have various ways of being happy. Ogawa, I'm afraid your own happiness revolves a bit too much around… Him." He pointed at Dazai with his chin.

My friend was joyously chatting with the tombstone, as though his surroundings had disappeared, and as though I did not exist anymore. In his world, there was space only for him and Odasaku… I smiled slightly.

"You look as though you revealed me the purpose of my existence." I chuckled "I already know that, unfortunately… But he is my precious friend, the one I want to be happy…"

"At the cost of a fulfilled life of your own?"

"Nothing will fill the emptiness in my chest, except for his smile, maybe… I'm touched that you are concerned about me, Fox… But I assure you I am fine."

"What's the point of fighting so hard to earn the right to live, if it is to give it all up to a person who doesn't even see how soaked in blood the heart you give him is…?" He angrily shoved his hands in his pockets "Don't you ever tell me I didn't warn you…"

"I promise I won't." I giggled "You remind me of someone, a man I knew… I think you could call him my friend. Behind his rough facade is hidden a very sensitive poet…~ He usually had the right words to put me back on track…"

"Let me guess… You didn't listen to him at all…?"

"Am I so predictable?" I laughed "You're right, though… I didn't listen to him… So, I became addicted to morphine, then entered the Armed Detective Agency to be with Dazai… I don't regret it, nonetheless."

"I see… So you're the type who doesn't care about advice. That's good to know…" He mumbled "Anyway, let's talk about business."

"Mmh. I do owe you a favour. Do tell me what it is." I said, leaning back on a wall.

"In fact, I've been meaning to make that request to you a moment ago, but that's just the opportunity I needed." He told me, pulling a picture out of the pocket of his jacket "I have a friend. We grew up together, then got separated. I lost my parents and… Forget it. He's now a brilliant chemist, and he wants to open a laboratory in Hokkaido for his research. The government already agreed, but the locals aren't too fond of the project. He's already survived three assassination attempts… Could you protect him, please?"

"Being a bodyguard, eh…?" I took a look at the picture "You know I'm not bad at this kind of job. Well, I'll accept your request. I've been meaning to visit Hokkaido, after all…"

"I know. That's where I told you your sister is…" He remembered "Will it be alright for you?"

"I never said I'd meet her… What is your friend's research about?"

"It's complicated, but I think he's working on a formula to create petrol, you know… Instead of importing it."

"That's a very polluting business… I do understand the locals…" I frowned "I don't want to support him…"

"I know right? It's just… It's been more than five years since our ways have drifted apart… When he reached out to me, I couldn't help agreeing despite being powerless… I thought I could count on you." The Fox rubbed the back of his head.

"Of course you can. I'll handle the case for you. You've done so much to help me, I can't refuse a friend's request either." My lips turned upwards.

"I knew working with a detective was the best…" He snickered.

"That's because you work with the best one." I winked "I'll leave as soon as possible, maybe in a week."

"Oh, you're going to start therapy tomorrow?"

"... How do you know…?"

"You told me you would get treated soon, and I guessed you believed you'd feel better after a week, which is wrong, but I can only support you from afar." He shrugged.

"Why don't you work as a detective, too?" I laughed "I know it's going to be hard… But I'll manage, somehow. I have to… I'm this close to getting rid of that disgusting habit of mine…"

"Is that so?"

I nodded, and shivered. Although it was a summer night, the sudden breeze felt cold, and I tightened my tattered coat around me. My last trench had been ruined by my first case for the Agency and, since, I had only been able to afford an old, second-hand one which had already been well-used. Before buying new clothes, I needed to have my own place. These holes were not a bother to me, anyway…

"It's almost two…" The Fox noticed "If you start your treatment today, you may want to sleep, Ogawa… Otherwise, it'll be unbearable for you."

"Are you worried about me? That's so nice~ You're showing me your soft side today~"

"I've been worried about you since the first day we met…!" He suddenly raised his voice "Even though you were wearing a mask, your hands were so thin, and your clothes looked too big for you. And when you spoke… You would frequently pause to take your breath. You regularly came for the Mafia, and I do worry about my customers. If they die, I can't be paid…"

"... Was I really like that…?" I muttered "Whatever… I'm glad to have such a caring friend~"

"... Are you never going to take me seriously…?"

"I do take you seriously. However, as I said, you need not concern yourself with me. I am and will be fine."

"Idiot…"

It was touching that he cared about me to this extent. Five months ago, when I had come to him again to seek his skills as an informer, I had been such a troublesome customer, I had believed he would never want to work with me again. Thanks to Uemura-san, the Fox had dedicated his time to the cases I managed for the Agency, but, more importantly, we had gotten closer, to the point of becoming friends who playfully teased each other. However, I had never predicted that he would be so concerned about me. He had gone out of his way many times to help me out, going as far as finding Ruriko-chan and giving me, without charging me, all the information he had gathered about her life. I had not considered that I could be a person one could ever care about… It did feel nice, and I was ashamed that I had not, indeed, taken his feelings seriously.

We remained quiet, listening to the peaceful night of Yokohama. My eyes closed, and my ears were filled with sounds of all sorts. Above us, the wind danced in the tree leaves, gently accompanied by the distant song of the sea, which gently undulated under the thick veil of darkness covering the sky. Even Dazai had stopped chatting to silently honour his late friend's memory. The lamppost which enlightened the space around us started flickering, tired and old, before suddenly turning off. We moved towards another one, without a word.

I thought time had stopped, suspended by the beautiful concert nature was offering us, but I noticed I was wrong when I raised my eyes and saw the sky had cleared up, slowly taking its usual blue shade. That day would be a sunny one, I thought when my gaze fell onto the clouds coloured in warm orange watercolour by the rising sun. It was already dawn… We had spent the entire night out, and I had not gotten a single minute of sleep, unlike the Fox, who had succumbed to Morpheus as soon as we had moved to another lamppost. He was still standing, arms crossed and faced down. One could think he simply closed his eyes, but his slow and heavy breathing betrayed him. So, the best informer of Yokohama had the special skill to sleep anywhere, at any moment and in any position… It was a valuable one, yet a weakness he would not want his enemies to know of. This was proof that he trusted me… I could always use this information to tease him.

"... Is it… Already morning…?" He mumbled, sleepily.

"It seems so…"

"He's still not done…?" He frowned "For f*ck's sake, he made you wait the entire night and —"

"It's important to him… That's his late friend's death anniversary, after all…"

"... Aren't you his friend too…? And a living one, on top of that…!"

"Fox, it's enough… I'm tired, I can't bear your shouts so early, this day…" I stopped him.

"Right.. I'm sorry." He shoved his hands in his pocket "Well, do as you wish. I have work, today, so I'll head to my place. Thanks for accepting my request, by the way."

"You're my friend, it's my pleasure." I assured him.

He glanced at me, a strange, indescribable feeling reflecting in his eyes, before turning around and walking away. I could understand why he disapproved that I supported Dazai; any sane person would have already gone back to sleep, after all, and I knew no one who would be able to wait as much as I had. Even so, I felt it was my duty to be with him, from afar, so I could be there when he would be tired and broken by this peculiar night. It had always been my role…

I jumped in surprise when I sensed a coat suddenly covering my shoulders, on top of mine.

"I'm sorry, Ogawa… You must have been so cold… And it is the start of your treatment, too… I'm sorry…" Dazai apologised.

His hands did not leave my shoulders, and I pleasantly felt warmer, simply by being close to him. I smiled, gently.

"It's alright. I promised I would wait for you, after all. Besides, I wasn't alone. The Fox kept me company. He left just a few minutes ago." I told him.

"Is that so…? That's good."

"Yes… Are you ready to go, now?"

"Mmh. I'll go back to my place and slack off as usual~ What about you?"

"I guess I'll come with you. Yosano-sensei said she'd be waiting for me in front of the dormitory anyway." I told him.

"I see… It must be ready then~"

"What is…?" I raised an eyebrow.

"That's a secret~" He chuckled "Let's go~ I want to see the face you're going to make~"

"I'm a tad afraid of what I'll see though…"

"I can't say a thing~" He hummed, putting his hands on his hips.

He would usually put them in his pockets… But…

"Dazai…! Your coat…!" I followed behind him.

"You can keep it, I'm not that cold~"

"It's barely six a.m.…! There is no way you aren't cold…!" I protested.

"I'm not taking it back~"

"Dazai…!"

#bsd #bsd fanfic #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs oc #dazai #Dazai Osamu

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marlikesthings · 7 years

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This time I decided to make a post about the Tanizaki’s siblings. I put them both together since they are strongly linked one another. You can’t talk about one without mentioning the other. Anyway, like for my previous posts, I will write here why I love them and why they should be more appreciated.

First, I will talk about Tanizaki Junichiro. The first time we met Junichiro is during Atsushi’s entrance exam. He appears as a criminal tired of life, who wants to talk to the president. I feel the need, before continuing, to point out what an amazing actor Junichiro is. He had Atsushi and the readers totally fooled. Actually, had the agency not know that this was all an act, I wonder if they would have noticed he was pretending to be someone else. Dazai might have noticed though, because well, he is Dazai.

Tanizaki is a character that has a lot of potential, and I am glad the last manga chapter gave us more insight on his character. But, before talking about that, I want to talk about his partnership with Atsushi. Both of them are comically referred to as a group of wimps. Because they always worry too much, and they seem at first glance to be kind of cowards. That is obviously far from the truth. While both of them are indeed level headed, and the most “normal” ones at the agency, if you mess with their loved ones they will respond. And it won’t be beautiful to see. Especially Junichiro (since this appreciation post is dedicated, in part, to him, I will only talk about his case).

He seems to be shy, kind of awkward, level headed, but do not let this deceive you. Do not mess with Naomi or he will destroy you. The reason why I really liked chapter 48, was because, through the words of Hirotsu, we learn that Junichiro’s abilities are suited for being an assassin. Even without his words we get to see a different Tanizaki (similar to the one we saw during his fight with Steinbeck). This Tanizaki was ready to kill. He managed to fool the black lizard, an assassination squad of port mafia. I mean, if this isn’t amazing I don’t know what it is. He could have killed Gin right there if he wanted to. And what to say about his exchange with Tachihara. They all seemed afraid of Tanizaki, and at that time, he hadn’t done anything yet. Just his look was enough to send them chills in their backs. And once again I feel the need to mention, this is the mafia who we are talking about, they have probably faced so many strong adversaries, yet this guy, who for all they knew was one of the weakest among the agency members was defying them. No, he was ready to kill them without a second thought. I hope the black lizard will think twice before threatening to hurt Naomi in front of Junichiro. Also, interesting fact, they wanted to use him as a spy for port mafia. The reason why they probably thought he will be good for the job, was most likely because no one would suspect him. I mean Tanizaki doesn’t really stand out among the members, which is a skill needed for any good spy.

I like Junichiro, because there is so much more to him, than what it seems. He is an agency member, and as such he had to pass his own exam entrance to prove he was worthy of being an agency member. Aren’t agency members supposed to value life and not kill? (Unless the situation really requires so. The interesting fact about the agency is that while they are supposed to be the good guys, they aren’t really. Everyone there, except Atsushi for obvious reason (this guy is too pure and he probably believes everyone can be saved), Ranpo (because he couldn’t kill anyone even if he wanted to. He is smart, but he is also weak, and besides, that would probably be too troublesome for him. Unless, you touch the president. Then he won’t be playing anymore) and Kenji (although his case is particular, since he doesn’t seem to care, it’s like nothing surprises him. I want to see him getting mad). I do picture the others as being able to kill. Yosano abilities are made to save people, but she is strong and won’t doubt to stand up for people she cares. And, if there were to be a situation in which killing the enemy was the only solution, I think, she would do it. Same with Kunikida, the guy is an idealist, but he knows fully well he is not a hero. He did plan on leaving Kyouka behind during Atsushi’s rescue mission. Though this is due to a trauma and he is one of the kindest characters, but still). I’ve always thought that more than being the good guys they were more in the middle, in a grey zone. They aren’t bad guys (except for Dazai), but they do the jobs they are assigned to do and then leave. They know they can’t help everyone, so they don’t even try. That doesn’t make them bad persons, but it makes one wonder). Junichiro is a good example of a grey character. He is nice yes, but the fact that as soon as his sister is in danger, or even at the possibility of his sister being in danger he is willing to forget about morals, makes you wonder why was he even accepted at the agency. I say this because his values, everything he believes crumbles way to easily (he is different from Kunikida who tries so strongly to protect his ideals). But I like that about him. He feels like a character people could identify with (of course, not the killing part), but the part about him that wants to protect its loved ones is so real. He loves Naomi and therefore won’t forgive anyone hurting her. And that’s fine. Either way, in order to survive in the agency, especially now that they are at war with the mafias, they have to be more careful than ever. Junichiro must have his own reasons to join the agency and so does Naomi (although in her case, it was most likely to be with her brother), but losing Naomi is the one thing Junichiro wouldn’t forgive. Everyone at the agency must have their own reason why they joined, but I do believe the agency has become a place they could call home. Losing a member would be losing, not just a comrade, but a family member. And in Junichiro’s and Naomi’s case, it wouldn’t be just losing someone who is like a family member, but it would be losing someone with whom they share a lot of memories, their own blood, someone who can’t simply be replaced. That’s why I think Junichiro is so protective of Naomi. She doesn’t have any abilities, but she is so cheerful, full of live, and she is also younger than him. His life wouldn’t be the same without her, and he knows it. While their relationship is hard to describe, with Naomi always seducing him, it has become a part of their routine they don’t want to lose.

Second, I will be talking about Naomi. Her part will be shorter because we don't really know much about her. Well, I already mentioned her before, while talking about Junichiro, but this girl is cheerful, nice, friendly, she is such an outgoing person, hard to not love. She has a strong personality, and loves her brother a lot. Maybe too much. She is always trying to seduce her brother, and from what she says, it makes one wonder what happens when the two of them are alone in their apartment. But, while she is often used as comic relief (for example, immediately after Atsushi's exam entrance, (where she acted like a prisoner in the hands of a crazy person) she went straight to her brother, trying to seduce him. This allowed the tension that Atsushi was feeling to calm down a little bit. Though he still didn't understand what was happening), and she is not an active member of the agency (but a clerk) since she has no abilities, she shouldn't be underestimated. This girl is intelligent, and has she had an ability, I have no doubt she would be at least at Yosano's level. Which means, she would have been a strong ability user. We can see this in chapter 23, where her and Haruno tried to escape from the grasp of Steinbeck and lovecraft.

She listened to Dazai's advice and used it accordingly to the situation. They didn't manage to run away, but you have to give her credit for maintaining her calm in this situation. Especially since unlike her brother she isn't used to being chased by the mafia. Her job is to take care of the paperwork not this. Also, when Junichiro and Atsushi were tricked by Higuchi, and their lives were put in danger, Naomi used her own body to protect her brother from the impact of the bullets. And I will once again repeat, she is supposed to be a normal worker. She is so brave, so strong, and so courageous that is hard to not admire her. Also, we saw how scared she was when Atsushi attacked her in chapter 25, and why wouldn't she? She almost died at the hands of someone she probably considers a friend. Someone who also happens to be really strong. Though, it wasn't Atsushi's fault since he was being controlled by Q, but still. Yet, chapters later, when Atsushi went to excuse himself, she (and Haruno) had already forgotten what happened, they didn't hate him for what he did. They understood. She is so precious and I love her. Admire her beauty:

#tanizaki junichiro #bsd #bungou stray dogs #tanizaki naomi #mar rambles #armed detective agency

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masked-buffoon · 3 years

Text

Chapter 14: Truthful liar (Part 4)

Warnings: mentions of drug addiction

Author notes: quite a long part... I have to admit, I did not pay attention to its length ^^” I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

It was impossible for us to question the victim. As soon as he had set a foot in the nearest hospital, he had collapsed and had been immediately taken care of by the nurses. And he had not yet woken up… The white corridors smelled like medicine,but it was not unpleasant. Perhaps it was because I was used to the infirmary… My fingers clutched around my box of pills. I could not show a single health care professional that I was an addict, unless I wanted to be brought to the psychiatric unit… However, that stressful situation did not help with my withdrawal, and I was starting to grow uncomfortable. I sighed, and covered my hand to hide the fact it was trembling. Soon enough, Dazai reached me. He was coming back from the doctor's office, and his serious face did not reassure me the least.

"His condition is bad, isn't it…?" I frowned.

"Yep. He isn't going to wake up anytime soon." He stood next to me "We should find another lead."

"... I'm tired, already…" I groaned.

"Don't, the case has just started."

He took my trembling hand into his, and pulled me up suddenly. Then, he brought me towards his chest and used his taller body to hide me from anyone's eyes. I looked up at him, ready to question him, but he was quicker and grabbed the box in my pocket.

"Take that opportunity. Hurry."

"But people —"

"Who cares about what people believe? No one knows us here, anyway…"

He had rarely been that firm since my entrance in the Armed Detective Agency. Quietly, I nodded, before shoving up to three pills on my mouth and swallowing. It was burdensome to be an addict… I was glad that this pitiful life would stop soon. Soon… I closed my eyes a moment, before glancing up at him. He had not budged and, from an outsider's point of view, that scene must have looked like a hug… But to me, who had just drugged myself, it was just a convenient hideout… Gently, I cracked a smile and put a hand on his chest to push him away. Slightly…

"It's alright, now… We can go…"

"Really? Good~" He regained his usual playful smile.

"Should we head to the police station?" I suggested.

"That's not a bad idea." He pulled away from me.

"... Your hand…"

"Ah. My bad."

He had casually left it on my shoulder.

"Dazai… I'm fine, really. Besides, you've seen me take morphine countless times, already." I assured him.

"I have, yet that doesn't mean I am used to it. Every single time…"

"It's almost over. Don't worry… I'll never end up in such a state again…"

"Did you read my mind? That's surprising…~"

"I couldn't possibly… Not that I wouldn't want to…" I looked away.

"Mine will remain a mystery for you~"

"If I can't use my ability to understand it, I'll just strive to know you better…" I muttered.

"... You're right…"

I looked at him softly, and tugged on his sleeve to get him moving.

"We have some work to do. The case won't solve itself."

He chuckled, and we both headed out of the hospital. In front of our colleagues in the Agency, Dazai always behaved strangely, constantly acting like a buffoon, making a joke of himself. I had secretly resented him for putting on such a mask, and it hurt even more to know that everything was a lie. However, at the moment, there were only the two of us, and there was no need for him to keep playing the tragic story of the sad clown who was never allowed a single tear. In front of me, weakness was allowed, and I hoped he was aware that I would never judge him nor take advantage of him… Somehow, I felt special. I was the only one alive who got to see the sadness hidden beneath his mask… That in itself was exceptional enough, coming from Dazai, and it brought me back to our days in the Port Mafia. Thinking about it, he had been less secretive than he was these days, more willing to show his emotions, perhaps… I wondered if that was because of his mistake, because he felt as though he owed me, because he had hurt me… I was most certainly putting too much thought into that, anyway.

The policemen we met told us that they had never assigned any guards for Suda Hiroshi — that was the name of our client. Immediately, they deployed troops to arrest the imposters, but when we arrived, they had already disappeared.

"That's a fishy story…"

The detective in charge of the case put his cigarette out in the ashtray, and sighed.

"We were aware of the many assassination attempts on Suda-san's life, but we had received words that he was already guarded… That's why we never made a move…"

"What do you know of his research?" I questioned him.

"Wasn't it something about oil…? I have to admit that, as a proud citizen of Sapporo, I wasn't too pleased to hear about it…"

"So false information was spread about him… Why would anyone want him to be hated, though…?" I thought out loud.

"Is there anyone who would benefit from Suda-san's fall?" Dazai asked.

"Not that I know of… The only prominent family around here is the Ogawa family. However, they've come here around twenty years ago to retire. I heard their granddaughter lives with them, too." He told us.

"So, they aren't involved in business anymore…"

"No, not at all…! The granddaughter goes to school with my own children. She's well-behaved and polite, really, a kind girl…! They won't create any troubles."

We exited the police station, without much more information. At the very least, I knew that my grandparents were not involved in the case, which relieved me, in a way. I would not have to come into Ruriko-chan's life to destroy it once again… On the other hand, I had no idea about the motive of the criminal. Why would they sequester the man and let him die a slow, painful death, while running his reputation in Hokkaido? If there was nothing worth Suda-san's downfall, then it was surely…

"A passionate crime. A revenge." Dazai completed my thoughts "That's the only thing I can think of."

"I agree with you. It's the only option left, anyway. I'll call the Fox to get his background checked."

"Such a troublesome case… It doesn't help that the victim is a friend of your friend… Will you tell him?"

"Tell him what? That his friend is wounded, in a hospital between life and death…?"

"Wouldn't you want to know, though? If I was in this state, wouldn't you want to be aware?"

"... You have a point…" I conceded "I'll tell him…"

The call was short. My informer was upset and regretted taking so long to inform me about the situation. Although he had not been in contact with Suda-san for years, he was still his friend, and, knowing how he cared about the people close to him, I could only imagine how terrible it felt for him to know the researcher was hurt. He promised to work on the case, but I could perceive how disheartened he sounded. I did not insist and simply hung up. It was not my fault, yet I felt guilty; the Fox had entrusted me with his friend's life, but I had not managed to save him in time.

"Let's go back to the inn." Dazai suggested, slowly guiding me towards a car.

"Mmh… I want to rest…" I muttered, shoving the phone in my pocket "I don't want to hear about that case anymore…"

"You know we'll be back on it tomorrow."

"... I want to quit…"

"Don't be nonsensical, you're simply tired. A long bath in the onsen will make you feel better."

"Maybe you're right… I hate personal cases. Being emotionally involved doesn't go well with me… I should have asked Kunikida to take care of it." I regretted my choice.

"But the Fox made that request to you, his friend. You couldn't have refused either way."

"So, I was trapped from the beginning… Ah… That's the last time I go to Hokkaido."

"So it isn't entirely about the case." He noted.

I stayed quiet, unable to answer. I had not told him about my dream, after… Would he understand? Would he brush it off and call it "weird"? Would he laugh at me…?

"I'm bothered… By my sister…" I murmured "I'm torn between the wish to see her and my reason telling me that it would destroy her even more…"

"I see…"

As I was wondering if that would be all and if he truly did not care about my issues, he leaned towards the driver and changed our route.

"Where are we going?" I frowned.

"It's a surprise~ Do you have your sunglasses?"

"... Sure…?" I took them from my handbag "Why?"

"Wear them when we arrive~"

I did not question him, used to his strange yet meaningful behaviour from time to time, and obeyed him. Although the sun was playing hide-and-seek behind the clouds, I hid my eyes behind the darker glasses and followed him out of the vehicle. After walking a few meters, we arrived in front of a school, and I immediately understood which trick he had played on me. I grabbed his arm, rather brutally.

"Dazai…! You know… You know I can't…!" I protested "Let's leave this instant…!"

"No." He easily removed my grip from him "You want to see her, don't you? Then, at least, look from afar and check for yourself that she's alright."

"... Isn't that stalking her…?"

"Was gathering information on her via the Fox more legal?" He retorted.

As though I were scared they would fall, I readjusted the sunglasses on my nose, and leaned my back on a wall, waiting for the bell to ring and for Ruriko-chan to come out. Would she have friends? Most certainly… How many? I wished for her to have a lot of them… Would she see me? But she would surely mistake me for a stranger… She would not mind my presence too much, since she would not know I was her sister… In fact, I was terrified to meet her, and feel her look full of disgust on me… I was afraid she would scream "murderer" in the street and attract the police… Yes… I was scared that she would destroy my own life, the normality I had gained through so many hardships. In the end, it was the selfish side of myself which was frightened by Ruriko-chan. Unconsciously, my hand brushed against Dazai's, hoping desperately that his ability could cancel my feelings as well, where I knew it was simply impossible. Even so… It gave me the courage I lacked to face my precious sister.

The bell rang — an unfamiliar melody I was hearing for the first time, since had never attended school — and it did not take long before a flow of students came out of the building to head towards the gate. However, I did not see Ruriko-chan. I waited, and waited. My friend did not leave my side, despite the minutes passing and the sun slowly going down behind the buildings. I was disappointed. After bracing myself so hardly, all of my efforts had been in vain… I did not feel ready to experience such an unpleasant time ever again.

"Some clubs end later." Dazai spoke, out of the blue "Let's wait a bit more…"

"Even so, if she comes out alone… She'll be more likely to see me…"

"But will she recognise you? To be honest, you've changed…"

"How? Except for my clothes, I'm still Ogawa Yōko. If it weren't for my sunglasses, do you think these eyes of mine will go unnoticed? Sometimes, I hate them…" I crossed my arms.

"You can be so childish, sometimes~" He teased, wrapping an arm around my shoulders "These eyes are a part of you, as recognisable as they are, and I, for one, like them."

"Y-You do…?" I stuttered, turning towards him "I… Well… Thank you…? I suppose…"

Many people had already complimented my mother's eyes, but never had they paid attention to mine. The fact that it was Dazai, above anything else… It was… Surprising, to say the least… And oddly pleasant. It was impossible for me to suppress the smile from my face after his unexpected words, and even the nervousness I had felt upon waiting for my sister had faded away. Instead, it had been replaced by a strange mixture of warmth and contentment. Was receiving kind words always this agreeable…?

"There she is." My friend broke my train of thoughts.

Time seemed to stop as my eyes fell on the young girl who was Ruriko-chan. Unmistakably, it was her. The uniform of her high school seemed to fit her perfectly, the pleated skirt gently flowed around her legs as she walked, and her face had gotten thinner, more delicate… She had grown into a fine lady, although she was not yet an adult. And her clear blue eyes… They did not have the lavender colour of our mother's, but their blue, alike precious lapis lazuli, shone even brighter under the sunlight. My heart panged painfully in my chest as I refrained myself from running towards her. I could not…

"So that's her… She's cute~"

I could not repress a glare.

"Don't you dare even get close to her." I warned him.

"I'm not into younger girls, don't worry~" He laughed at me.

"Whatever…" I mumbled.

"She does resemble you, though…" He remarked.

"... Does she…? Are you blind…? Look at her gentle, pale face…! She is just like a doll…! And her long, jet black hair… Mmh… She's so beautiful, you really should get a pair of glasses…"

"Oh, really…~?" He smirked at me "I don't think so… But anyway, since she looks so good, I'll just have a word of two with her~"

"Dazai…! I forbid you…!" I ran after him "Come back here…! You're doing this on purpose…!"

However, he was much faster than I was, and he quickly reached Ruriko-chan in front of the gate. There, he put on his brightest and most seductive smile, and bowed slightly in front of her.

"Hello miss~ I saw you from afar and couldn't resist greeting you, since you're such a beauty~"

Her face expressed disgust, and she took a step back.

"I'll report you, sir…" She threatened.

"I apologise on behalf of my coworker…!" I moved in between them "Don't mind him, he's always like that, but he doesn't mean any harm…"

"I see… Well, I suppose I'll let you go, then."

My sister looked me up and down.

"It's strange… I'm positive I never saw you around here, yet you seem familiar, somehow…"

"Is… Is that so…?" I cleared my throat "We're detectives from Yokohama. We're here on a case. This is Dazai Osamu, and I am Fuyuno Kasumi."

"Oh… You're here for Suda-san…? The man whose life is constantly threatened?" She realised.

How smart she was… Was she truly my sister?

"Indeed… We hope to solve it soon."

I noticed the case she was holding.

"You play an instrument?" I asked to change the subject.

"I do." She smiled "Since you're a detective, why don't you try guessing it?"

"Sure… May I hold it?"

She handed me the case, and I took a quick look at it. Then, within a few seconds, I had my answer.

"The violin." I stated confidently.

"That wasn't too hard, was it? That's the most common one after all." She shrugged.

"It could have been a trumpet. But I mainly looked at your hands, and most particularly your fingers. They are a violinist's." I grinned.

"... I see…"

"Is there a problem?" I inquired.

"No, just… For a moment… Your smile… There is someone whose smile I've never seen… I was just wondering… If it would look the same… But that's impossible, you're not her… And… She's possibly already dead…" Her face darkened.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to remind you of that person…"

"It's not your fault. She was very sick… Perhaps it was for the best, after all…"

I clenched my fists. If Ruriko-chan believed I was dead, then perhaps I should let her live thinking that way… Even if it did not seem like she resented me for my deeds.

"You seem to like her a lot." Dazai said softly, taking me aback.

"Yes! She was my precious older sister, after all… Although I once held a grudge against her… No, maybe everything is better this way, after all…" She whispered "Anyway, it was nice to meet you two. Good luck with your case…! I have to go back home, otherwise, my grandparents will be worried."

"Yes, it would be wiser to go back, indeed. Be safe on the way." I waved lightly.

As soon as her back was turned, I sighed slightly. Did she not hate me for killing our parents…? Did she not want me in jail…? Or gone from this Earth…? Ruriko-chan truly had a gentle heart… She did not resemble me at all, her hands were pure, and produced beautiful music, unlike mine which only provoked screams of agony. We were different, and, despite the fact that I had gotten accustomed to living in a lighter word, it did not change the fact that I was tainted. I should not approach her anymore…

"Ogawa…!"

His sudden call, along with the screeching sound of a car's wheel on the concrete, made me act before my brain could even register what was occurring. I grabbed Ruriko-chan from behind, and pulled her out of the road before the vehicle could hit her. Her musician's hand did not let go of her precious instrument, even as we fell back on the sidewalk, which would have amused me if her life had not been in danger. Unable to help it, I wrapped my arms around her a moment, and kept her close to me, feeling my heart beat even faster at the thought of losing her so cruelly.

"How… How did you know my name…?" Her small and shocked voice reached my ears.

"That…" Dazai clicked his tongue, looking away.

He had made a mistake when calling me… Even so, I was grateful — the fraction of second gained when she stopped, hearing her name, had allowed me to save her.

"You must have misheard." I lied "Can you stand up?"

"Wait, Fuyuno…" My friend prevented me from moving "Your sunglasses…"

They had fallen from my face, and the car had crushed them, adding to my misfortune.

"Shit…" I cursed.

"Are you alright?" My sister turned towards me "I must be heavy…"

I immediately closed my eyes.

"Y-Yes… I… Just… I'm sensitive… To the sun, so… It's hard for me to see without my glasses…" I invented an illness.

She did not say a thing and, since I had deprived myself from my eyes, I could not see her face.

"You know… I'm not a detective, but… If you truly were sick, you would take better care of these glasses… You could have tied them, for example… And you should own a spare…"

She really was too smart… It was my defeat, and I had to face its consequences.

"You're right… I'm not sick… I was just… Hiding."

I opened my eyes, and glanced at the shock in her look, before helping her up. Then, I smiled — or smirked, it seemed like a weird way to lift the corners of my lips up.

"It's been a while, Ruriko-chan…"

"Ah… I see… It was one of your horrible tricks…" Tears fell onto her cheeks "You're the worst… The worst…! Even after everything I told Fuyuno Kasumi, even after losing your only way of hiding, you're still dishonest… Why are you always, always lying…?!"

"Ruriko-chan…"

"Don't touch me…! You're a liar…! I don't… I don't want to see you again…!"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… But… I thought you hated me… So, I… I just… I just wanted to know… How you were doing…"

"If you truly wanted to check on me, you would have come in person, instead of lying, as always… As expected…"

"But you said you didn't hate me —"

"I don't hate you, but I don't trust you either. Go away, now. Don't… Don't try to reach out to me anymore. My sister is dead to me."

I was not able to hold her back and, powerless, stared at her silhouette fading away in the remnants of the sunlight. Being alive, yet dead in another person's heart, felt like the ground had shattered beneath my feet.

"... It was a mistake…" I breathed out "A terrible one…"

"Ogawa, that was my fault… I should have given you more time… Or maybe I shouldn't have insisted in the first place…" Dazai sighed.

"Yes… It is your fault." I cried "Everything… It is your fault… If only I had waited more, I would never have hidden myself, had I been ready…! But you had to butt in and convince me otherwise… Why did I even follow your lead, in the first place…?! This is my business, my sister, yet you interfered again! You always do! And now… And now she… Whereas she didn't hate me…"

"Ogawa…"

"I'm dead to her…! Do you understand…?! I do not exist anymore…!! I stopped living in her mind…! She might as well have killed me, I would have suffered less… That's your fault…" I sobbed, falling to my knees "I've lost my sister… Ruriko-chan…! Ruriko-chan…!"

"... I'm sorry…" He crouched down to face me "I'm sorry that it turned out so badly…"

I reached for his collar, and pulled him towards me to bury my face in his coat, to hide my pitiful tears. Even when he had left, I had not cried this much. Why was this one loss so painful…? Was it because I had expected something…? What was the point of desiring and hoping, then, if these feelings only brought pain by crushing my heart…? What was the point of longing, if the person I wanted to see did not want me by her side…? I should have known and abandoned these useless emotions long ago, I should have learnt from my experience with Dazai, but I was as ignorant as I had been years ago.

"It's alright… Blame me all you want, if it alleviates your pain…" He murmured "I did miscalculate, this time…"

"... I'm sorry…" I sniffed, slowly calming down "I got carried away…"

"I said it's fine."

I looked up at him, but far from a face matching his comforting words, his expression was… Well, he was expressionless. Or perhaps annoyed. I had vexed him.

"There is something I've come to understand, with time…" I pulled away from him "Human feelings… Are kind of unpredictable. You can manipulate them, you can play with them, but at the end of the day, you'll always end up surprised… Besides, you made a mistake because you're not familiar with Ruriko-chan…"

"And what's your point?"

I grabbed his cheeks and forcefully pulled them up to force a smile on his face.

"A genius strategist can make mistakes. And, you're a human too. You have a brain, and emotions, not a chessboard which pieces you move thanks to calculations." I told him.

"I don't have enough ego to be angry about failure." He avoided my eyes "Rather…"

His fingers tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear, and he sighed again.

"Nothing… The night is falling, let's really go back now." He took my hand to help me up.

"Mmh… There is no use crying, anyway… What's done is done, and I can never go back. I'll just have to live without her." I wiped my tears away.

"... But you have me…"

"... Did you say something…?"

A car had passed right while he was talking, and I was afraid to have misheard. He cracked a smile.

"Nothing at all. I'm just excited to try the onsen, that's all~"

"True." I giggled "We do deserve some rest."

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