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#Danny isn't romantically interested in Jason in the least
radiance1 · 2 months
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Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.
Jason: What.
Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.
Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?
Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?
Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?
Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.
Jason: That's almost sad.
Danny: You in?
Jason: Sure, why not.
===
Maddie: Danny, honey.
Danny: Yes mom?
Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.
Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.
Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.
Danny: Mother I need more context.
Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?
Maddie: Jack!
Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!
Danny: Say WHAT?
===
Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!
Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.
Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?
Jason:
Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.
Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?
Danny: Jason.
Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.
Danny: [Squints eyes]
Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]
Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.
Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]
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ew-selfish-art · 8 months
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Dpxdc AU: Danny can’t fix Jason’s whole…deal… and doesn’t want to answer any questions on ectoplasm but he can get Jason to the best therapist he knows! Jason mistakes Danny constantly pushing Jazz his way as an awkward little brother move to set them up romantically- which uh, isn't necessarily a bad thing? Jazz has her own vested interests.
… heads up that this got long...
Jason ran his hands through this hair, relieving them from their previous position of cradling his face in embarrassment. Why was he sitting in a nice cafe with Danny’s redhead sister and a five dollar chai latte? For all the awkward live wire feelings he had, at least she was calm and composed. How many times had this happened already?
“So… the green stuff again?” Jazz asks, taking a sip from her own stupidly expensive drink and giving him eyebrows that beg for his explanation.
“Yeah. I was trying to get your brother to explain stuff without all the science mumbo jumbo. I just, I guess that means he defers to you.” Jason sighed, and tried to not think about how pretty her eyes were as she observed him.
“Not likely. But is the search for your answers helping you cope from day to day or making you climb an impossible mountain?” Jazz asks and it makes Jason fluster.
“It’s a moving goal post, sure, but I need answers if I’m going to fix my-“
“I think it might help you to realize that people don’t need to be fixed, they just need to grow.” Jazz interrupts.
They finish their drinks in a comfortable nonchalance, the rest of their conversation doesn’t go anywhere beyond their mutual hobbies and he’s grateful for that.
Jason's been doing a lot of introspection since this all started.
——
The first time it happened was months ago.
He confronts Danny after a mission, just wanting a simple answer on whether or not Danny thought the Lazarus pit contained ectoplasm? Could ectoplasm be separated from blood? Danny looked a little uncomfortable.
“Look dude, I know you want to know more but like, having this info isn’t going to help you. You need to talk it out.” Danny sounds sad and his eyes are filed with something adjacent to pity. It riles up the pit inside him.
“Oof. See that whole reaction thing. That’s not ectoplasmic, that’s something different. C’mon follow me.” Phantom cringes as he talks to him, and then floats across the rooftops, going slow enough that Jason can keep up on his grapple.
The arrive at a modest apartment building, not too far from his territory but clearly outside of it. Danny opens a window and slides in ahead of Jason, and all of a sudden he’s seated at a kitchen table with hot chocolate and teal blue eyes peering into his soul.
“Danny, some warning next time you’re bringing a crime boss to my apartment.” Jazz sighs and its not said with any malice or sarcasm. Danny gives her a grin and a peace sign before disappearing.
“So you want to talk about it?” Jazz turns back to him and asks.
“About?” Jason’s deep voice is going through the modulator and it sounds more sinister than it should.
“Death. Dying. The afterlife. Those are the normal things Danny brings people to me for.” She blinks.
“There’s a misunderstanding, I don’t need to talk, I need answers on Ectoplasm.” He grits out.
"Hm. Well that's not my field of study, but I can tell you that however your feeling is probably a valid response towards the trauma you've faced in life. Do you think showing yourself some kindness might lessen your desire to know the knitty gritty details?"
Jason scoffs.
"Oh. You're serious. No. I don't think being kind to myself is a valid approach to dealing with an infection that's cost me a lot of family relationships." Jason rolls his eyes. The woman looks contemplative for a moment and Jason can tell that while the dim kitchen lights are doing her no favors, she's incredibly beautiful. He pockets that information and refuses to think about it.
"So...Lets take this a different direction. Do you think successful people know what they're doing or do you think successful people need help to get where they want to go?"
"Most people are dumb and trying to get by." Jason grits out.
"So, accept that you're dumb. And then get by." Jazz replies, and then sighs and leaves the room.
Jason however, is now pissed off. Who the heck was she to say that to him?
____
The next time he finds himself across the table from Jazz, he's been on a wild goose chase with Danny and lands himself in a fancy restaurant. Why the hell was she here?
"Uh, it's called self care." Jazz replies, because apparently Jason asked that out loud. But he's not going to let this lead get away from him.
He takes off his helmet, years of muscle memory make him check that his Domino mask was in place, and sits down across from her. She raises a brow and then sighs.
"You think Danny might give me answers if I hold you hostage over, what is that, some kind of gnocchi dish?"
"Mm. Probably not." Jazz says, taking a bite and pulling out her phone.
"You're just going to ignore me then?" Jason finds himself a bit flabbergasted, he was a fucking crime lord, not someone to be ignored! Like he's just- just some bad blind date!
"Uh huh. You don't want to work on your issues and it's not my job to lead a stubborn horse to water."
"The expression is that you can lead a horse to water but you can't-"
"Can't what? Or are you still going to tell me it's not a huge waste of my time to tell you that you need to accept and forgive yourself to be able to move on. Find peace. Rest." Jazz is taking bites between her last few words but her glare remains unshakeable.
Jason is about to get up and leave when a terrified waiter comes over: "A dish, as compliments from the chef. Your guest's meal as well." He's shaking as he speaks and it makes Jason feel bad.
"Thanks." He grits out.
"...Is that the lasagna?" Jazz is looking at his food curiously, and Jason pushes it forward to indicate that she can take a bite. Probably not the safest thing for a civilian to do considering people regularly try to poison Jason but, meh. He's kind of pissed off at her still.
"It's pretty good. I was debating between that and the gnocchi- Okay let's think about this differently. You want to know about the green stuff, Danny is never going to tell a mortal about it and you keep denying yourself basic self-respect. What does your support system look like?"
"You're really pushing my buttons lady-" Jason can feel the green, but after a breath and seeing her unimpressed gaze "-I have a few friends who know what my deal is, I have an older brother who claims to forgive me, and a merry band of goons that I call my henchmen."
"Henchpeople?" Jazz asks.
"I mean, sure. That's more accurate."
"What do you do for fun?" She asks.
"I take down crime syndicates-" she levels him with another glare, he wonders why its so effective on him "-I read."
"Yeah? What genres?"
"Classics." He can admit only that much.
"Nerd. Are you going to eat any of that? You really shouldn't let food waste like that when it's not even fighting back."
"I don't know why I'm even bothering to talk to you right now." Jason spoke plainly.
"I dunno either but it's easier to tolerate you without the stupid helmet speaker. Anyway, If you like to read, hopefully that means you like to see new scenarios, new plots, stuff like that. You ever think to put yourself in side-character mode and contemplate what your whole deal is bringing to the table?"
"...How so?"
"Like, if you don't think it's worth it to treat yourself well, how do the main characters feel? Or, you know, if you were a child reading your story, what would you shout at them to move forward differently?"
"... I've decided that I only read poetry." Jason grumbles, trying to deflect with humor the fact that he does have some thoughts about what she's saying. She actually laughs at his joke though- he hadn't anticipated that.
"Uh, what is the Dr. Suess line? Stop telling outlandish tales, stop turning minnows into whales? something like that."
"Dr. Suess? Really?" Jason laughs.
"Sorry Mr. Classics, I spent most of my childhood raising my brother, forgive me for not knowing any fancy poetry." She huffs but he can tell she's laughing with him still.
They get off the topic of his mental health crisis and it turns out the Lasagna isn't half bad.
----
Jason keeps chasing Danny. Danny keeps leading him to Jazz. It goes for a few rounds before the ghost kid makes a joke about Jason liking her better anyway. Jason asks what the hell Phantom means by that, but Danny just laughs and says that Jason should just ask for her number.
...This does not sit right in his gut all of a sudden. Does he think that, that Jason is only pursuing this knowledge to keep talking to Jazz?? Does Danny want him to pursue Jazz? Does HE want to pursue Jazz???
----
He spots the Replacement in the Cave's lab before he heads upstairs to grab a cookie and leave as a civilian. The reason he even looked that way being that Tim is holding glowing green vials.
"Is that-"
"Yeah. They're literally the same except for the magic mumbo jumbo that Ra's has mixed in with the pit. Leave me alone now."
"So there is a way to heal it or, or extract it or-" Jason can feel his heart racing, but his constantly-exhausted sibling is looking at him like he's grown a second head.
"Dude. You're not gunna be able to flush it out with like, a juice cleanse. You're probably better off trying to find a magic user to deal with the curses and a therapist to do the rest." Tim looks like he's trying to be patient despite being deeply, deeply vexxed.
"Therapist- why in the hell would I-"
"I mean hasn't that been Danny's entire solution for you? He's only had one strategy the whole time he's lived in Gotham." Jason rolls his eyes.
"His solution is setting me up on dates with his sister not-"
"Dates!?! His sister is THE break out psychologist, she's done more for Arkham in the last year than decades of political reform! You've been goin on- wheez- oh my god I have to call Danny-" Tim is cackling, the lazarus water all but abandoned.
"Don't you fucking dare!"
After a (from both brothers) number of punches, a few headlocks and a large portion of threats, Jason agrees that Tim can tell his boyfriend but no one else.
Kon can keep a secret right? That's why he's the favorite?
----
"So... You and Jazz huh?" Danny looks amused as he floats by- Kon could not be trusted. The entire Justice league knows. Jason might have to die again. Apparently he said as much.
"Oh buddy, it's okay! You don't have to die again! I'm sure that if she likes you, she likes you just as you are, weird little zombie boy." Danny teases, turning intangible as Jason swings a punch at him.
"What do you mean if she likes me?" Jason asks, swinging with his grapple, trying to keep up with Danny.
"You think I read her diary or something? Weirdo. You need to talk to her about it tho, it's funny and all but I'm sure she's not a fan of the JL hot goss."
"I didn't start any of this-"
"My guy. Chill. I know, but uh, I did definitely tell her about it so... Oh look! We made it all the way to her apartment! BYE!"
Jazz is standing in the window and she looks like an absolute vision. Her glare makes him want to shit his pants however, and he knows that it's going to take all of his brain cells making contact to survive this encounter.
He sits on the fire escape when he realizes that she's not moving from her spot in the window, blocking his way. Ouch.
"So let me get this straight, you thought this whole time-"
"I thought Danny was being annoying and trying to set us up! I didn't know you were a shrink!" He tries to defend himself.
"...Why should I date an idiot?" the like yourself goes unsaid but he can hear it. Jason is scrambling.
"...I can make even better lasagna than that fancy restaurant you like." is what he lands on. Jazz bursts out a laugh.
"I was just fucking with you, but honestly what a great response." She's wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.
"Just fucking with me?" He grins a bit, unable to stop himself from getting excited.
"Yeah, I've been telling everyone at work that I'm dating the Red Hood for like, months now. It's been stellar for my hostage record, I haven't had an issue since I started the rumor!"
"We're dating?" Jason asks, a bit bewildered but charmed.
"I wouldn't give free therapy to just anyone! Now about that Lasagna-"
Something, something, something- they seal the deal with a kiss.
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@skulld3mort-1fan replied to your post “PERSONAL ASSISTANT DANNY AU!!! Amity Park has a...”:
Question is this before brice adopted dick or after ?? Is this when he has either jason or tim?? Cause this could be hilarious that they see Danny as Bruce keeper by how he manages to get him to his next schedule despite the amount of bullshit he's gone through and they all love the man cause he manages to be able to scold bruce as well as has Alfred's respect ( this can also slowly build to bruce x Danny thered very few of them and I really want to find some other )
​I think there's potential for the AU during any section of Bruce's life! It'd be funny to see 40-something year old Bruce with a massive gaggle of kids and is also secretly a hardened vigilante, city cryptid, and recognized founder of the Justice League to be manhandled by some 25-year-old recent graduate that looks like he weighs a hundred pounds soaking wet.
However, I think for this AU I'm leaning more towards Danny and Bruce being around the same age. (I've already discussed my thoughts on a possible romantic relationship for them here if you're interested)
So to set the scene:
Bruce is around 25/26 when he returns to Gotham and is intent to regain his position as CEO and majority shareholder of his parents' company while also setting himself up as The Batman. The former he accomplishes with all the pizzazz and efficiency of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde (because you can't convince me that a competent Brucie Wayne isn't just Elle Woods). But the board members still underestimate Bruce. They think he's too young, too inexperienced, and honestly? He's been gone from the face of the earth for years so they just have no idea how to deal with Bruce. And if there's one thing businessmen don't like (other than losing money), it's uncertainty.
They pressure Bruce into getting a PA because "Well, Mr. Wayne you've been gone from Gotham for so long, there's so much you need to catch up on. A PA would do wonders in keeping you organized!" It's honestly just a very thinly veiled excuse to get someone to spy on Bruce. Bruce can't figure out a way to get out of it, so he's forced to go along. He rejects ever applicant that came at the recommendation of most of his Board, and while it would be great to hire someone from Gotham, this is the era before Wayne Enterprises gained its shiny and clean personality, and there's no telling if any of these applicants have been bribed by one party or another.
Surprisingly, the answer to his problems came from a business meeting with Vlad Masters.
"If you're still looking, I'd like to recommend a candidate," Vlad said. "He's the son of some good friends of mine and had worked as my own PA for some time. He's quite good." Bruce nearly missed Vlad mutter 'almost too good' under his breath, but didn't remark on it.
"Oh? Why are you handing him to the competition then?"
"Ah, the two of us had some...differences. And the boy's at that age where he wants to see more of the world. So, why not Gotham? I'll send you his resume. Just think on it."
Despite Bruce's suspicions, there wasn't anything sketchy that he could dig up on Danny Fenton. Besides, Vlad Masters was notorious in guarding his privacy, and if he recommended Fenton, well, Bruce could at least count on him not getting bribed by anyone.
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ow-anteater · 3 years
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Reinhardt or Hanzo for the ask game maybe :O (or perhaps Balderich? 👀)
Hell yeah an assortment of characters you do not have to ask me twice to think about (also I have oceans of time rn thank you for this to keep me occupied)
Rein
a song that reminds me of them - Danny Schmidt's Esmee By the River has immense Rein energy to me; gentle and a little bit mournful and nostalgic, but still positive and hopeful at the core - and to me it sounds like a song from a fairytale, very much his energy
what they smell like - just like ... man. I think he'd be the type to utterly despise smelling like something artificial. He buys tubs of the most neutral deodorant he can find and uses that. He's a pretty active person so he often smells a little bit sweaty under it, but it's more 'this is a person returning from a run' and less 'this guy hasn't showered in weeks' if you catch my drift
an otp - Reaper/Rein my absolute fucking beloved I love this ship and it seems I am the only one (Rein/Soldier/Reaper is also - as the kids say - very good)
a notp - I don't really like Ana/Rein as a romantic pairing all that much, but I'm not squeaked out by it so wouldn't call it a notp. There are definitely worse characters to ship him with, you just thankfully don't see those
favorite platonic/familial relationships - Brig, of course. Their dynamic is so charming and sweet. Rein and Torbs relationship is also really lovely and I like to imagine Rein gets along with Ingrid great as well! In general, the 'OG overwatch gang found family' is lovely and I love all parts of it
a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with - He isn't dumb at all, or at least not in the way some people portray him to be. I like to think that he's easy-going and loud and joyful on purpose but a very attentive and - especially emotionally - intelligent person. Also! I HC that most of his friends nickname him ‘Will’ rather than ‘Rein’ in day to day conversation
the position they sleep in - boy sprawls like his life depends on it and will throw every cover off him in his sleep. He's known to even push pillows off the bed while sleeping to claim the entire thing for himself
a crossover au i’d love to see them in - put Rein in a cheesy christmas movie right this second I dare you
my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn - I'm weirdly attached to Lieutenant Wilhelm; the white and blue overwatch skin. It's simple and kind of plain but something about it just looks right to my eye idk
Hanzo
a song that reminds me of them - the first one that came to mind was actually Jason Isbell’s New South Wales. It’s not really really a present day Hanzo mood, but I like the idea of him having a nice quiet day; introspective and hopeful - at last. It’s less of a vibe and more of a song I’d love to write a Hanzo centric fic based on some day but oh well
what they smell like - similar to Rein I think he'd just smell clean. No products with a strong scent
an otp - Bapzo is spicy as heck and I am not immune to imagining Reaper and Hanzo bumping into each other in a bar and hanging for a while, though that last one isn't romantic as much as 'I could see it happen as a weird little fling/hook-up and that idea is intriguing to me'
a notp - as mentioned, McHanzo is at this point about this 👌🏽 close to being a notp I am so tired of it and how it's treated in fandom
favorite platonic/familial relationships - Him and Genji obviously, and almost even more him and Zen talking things through is interesting and tender and complicated and I would like to see it
a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with - I don't know how to say this without sounding mean, but I'm pretty uncomfortable with the brand of 'sad and pathetic' much of the fandom projects onto him. I think I write him as a character that's more self-aware and a lot softer, but also with more dignity and justified pride than some people give him. Basically, I want him to be sillier and softer and with a lot more (yes, kind of stiff, but still) self-irony and I don't like when he gets boiled down to 'self-important but kind of pathetic'
the position they sleep in - back to a wall or he straight up will not fall asleep. A big pillow or a person might work in a pinch but a wall is definitely preferable
a crossover au i’d love to see them in - old school LotR AU with Hanzo as an elf of some sort sounds spicy to me
my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn - It’s a tie between oni and okami. S tier skins both of ‘em
Balderich
a song that reminds me of them - night rocker
what they smell like - earthy, not unpleasantly so but definitely an earth-like smell to him
an otp - none really
a notp - I’d prefer him to not have a romantic relationship with Rein, I like it far more as a camaraderie and mentorship - but it doesn’t downright freak me out or anything
favorite platonic/familial relationships - Rein, see the points above. I like the idea that they’re very similar and Balderich also had a phase of being way too cocky and overconfident
a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with - I see next to no content about him so idk if there’s even anything to disagree with
the position they sleep in - flat on his back snoring wildly
a crossover au i’d love to see them in - honestly think he’d be fun in like a Bridgerton esque alternative historical, neon colored universe
my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn - well the overgrown armor in Rein’s skin named after him is extremely nice, but I am not immune to conjuring up my own images of this man in some sort of formal attire
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