TOTTENHAM WOMEN KNOCKED OUT MAN CITY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!

COYSSSSS

North London Derby day. Ange's first big test as manager. COYS! 🤍

PRAYER CIRCLE FOR TONIGHT GUYS💀

This is the start of something beautiful. This rivalry is gonna be🥵🥵🥵

Missing the Spurs game because of work (again, same shit - different season) and very glad I can listen to the end of the Mighty Tricky Trees performance. The joy is we might perform because I can't watch!!

Forest have smashed it today!! And I really like the look of Awoniyi.

Daniel with Shyla pre- vs. post-sarcophagus addiction

If I continue to burrow into the bargaining stage I will never hit depression

"You fucking left. I didn't do that. You did." Steve isn't yelling, his voice is just hard and cold. Eddie wishes he was yelling instead.

"I had to go," is all Eddie can say back, pleading at Steve to understand.

Steve does, is the thing. Eddie watches as the fight drains from Steve. Steve has always known him, in ways that terrified Eddie. Steve has always cared about him in an overwhelming way. Like the not yelling right now. Steve has every right to scream at him; he deserves it completely because he did leave. He packed his shit in the van and drove west until the ocean stopped him.

But Steve won't yell at him, because years ago, the first and only time Steve had yelled at him in a fight, Eddie'd frozen up, had a panic attack remembering his asshole father yelling at him and what always followed the yelling.

So even now, years later, Steve still won't yell at him.

"Go home, Eddie," is what leaves Steve's mouth next. "I can't do this."

"Steve, please," Eddie should leave. If he were a better person, he would have but instead he stays in the doorway of Steve's home, "I just want to apologize."

Steve lifts his eyes and stares Eddie down. "For what."

That's the crux of it, isn't it? What is he apologizing for? Everything? Nothing? Eddie gets the feeling that there's only one correct answer here and he's worried he'll be wrong.

"Sorry for going, even when I asked you to stay?" the hard tone is back in Steve's voice, "sorry for just walking away when I asked you to ask me to go? How you wouldn't do? Sorry about how you just ripped my heart out, rejected both options -you stay, or I come with- and then just walked out my house, my life, like it was the easiest thing in the world for you to do?

"This wasn't a-a two-sided fuck up, Munson. This is on you. I said 'stay' and you said you had to go, so I said, 'then ask me to come with' and you didn't. And if you couldn't even ask me, I wasn't going to follow after like some-" he cuts himself off and the breath Steve sucks in is watery. Eddie can see the tears gathering in his eyes, "I wasn't going to beg you to love me then. And I won't do it now."

"I fucked up," Eddie blurts, "I fucked up so bad and I'm sorry. I am so sorry that I didn't... I didn't give you a choice. I won't make excuses for myself, or explain -unless you want me to- but that's what I'm sorry for. I made a decision for both of us and that was fucked up."

"Glad we agree," Steve says, before sighing and stepping back, opening the door wider, "I've spent a long time wondering why you did it. If you're offering an explanation, I'll listen. If you give me an excuse, I will throw you out of my house."

Ok this might be a hot take

people saying "alenoah is just gay aleheather" might not be as horrifically wrong as the people saying "mkulia is lesbian alenoah", but they are still INCREDIBLY FUCKING WRONG.

Im assuming it's because they're basing it off the people who write alenoah strictly as enemies to lovers??? Because that is not the reason i really like it! I like it because it's friends to enemies to lovers, or at the very least, they start off neutrally. Outside of Noah and Heather just being different people, their relationship in canon doesn't start off the same either:

Heather starts off IMMEDIATLY calling Alejandro's façade complete bullshit and does not like him. at all. Meanwhile, pre-I See London, Noah and Alejandro seem to be friendly with eachother, or at least they're not on hostile terms (yet). During episodes 9 and 10, they're actively seen hanging around eachother during challenges and from what i know Alejandro doesn't try to mess with Noah in particular before this point? Like he tries messing with Owen in the Am-AH-zon Race episode, he pulls the favor thing with Tyler in Greece, hell he betrays Duncan before he does anything to Noah outside his elimination! Im not saying "oh alenoah canon", im saying that it's a clear difference between the two!

Also this isn't entirely related but a reason i like alenoah more than aleheather is because it opens up more interesting character interactions built off of canon, at least to me. Like, if Alejandro's going to date Noah, he's gonna have to actually be around Noah's friends, and if his obvious dislike of Owen is anything to go by he's probably not gonna be their biggest fan at first. Meanwhile with Heather, what exactly do you have (BY BUILDING OFF OF CANON!!!)? Harold, maybe? It's the only relationship she hasn't completly trashed by the end of All Stars considering her friendship with Leshawna ended in canon after WT and the more popular Heather friendships in the fandom don't have much (if any) canon basis.

this isn't to say you have to stick to canon exclusivly for this, im literally comparing a canon relationship to a purely fanon one, but i prefer going off of canon to an extent while writing or drawing or just. generally thinking about characters. I guess the building blocks in canon for an alenoah dynamic interest me more than aleheather's.

...also i prefer aleheather as besties LOL SORRY!

realizing that, as someone who is aro/ace, i dont feel overjoyed when seeing confirmed aro/ace characters in media because of the inherit loneliness one may feel from this identity and not wanting characters I adore to have to feel such a way. love representation, very hard to face them when its a deep part of your own insecurity and it scares you.

you can ignore this!

one last night together

sorry if this is mean but aurora needs to get a new producer so bad bro :(( i still think her voice is so good but the production is so bad i can't listen to her new music . its so pitchy and the synths are so sharp and her voice is half drowned out in the mix when she's got such an icy clear voice it kind of needs to be heard clearly too. if its competing then it gets harsh and like sore to listen to lol. her vocals would be so amazing with real strings and percussion etc etc too , like it could be so interesting (and we already know she's better live, i think thats pretty common opinion) but the extremely digital instruments and synth in her songs just ruin so many of them to me. imagine if cure for me didn't have the horrible synth keyboard that sounds so cheap and textureless and instead had some percussion T_T

i don’t think i ever posted these so here i am here to inflict them on you now

"You will not see him coming. You won't hear him approach. If by chance luck is on your side, the stench of rot will be his precursor, for the world seems to wilt beneath the touch of his boot. He leaves no mercy in his wake. And the smile...the sight of that smile means it's already too late." — campfire stories

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