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desert-fern · 8 months

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A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 18: But I Know Who I Am Now (I Am Yours)

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

*GIF found on Pinterest*

A/N: Chapter title taken from I Am Yours by Andy Grammer

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: hospital setting and the stuff that comes with that, some minor angst, unconsciousness, blood, fist fight, Jake beats the shit out of someone and it’s a little hot, bruises, this is still pretty fluffy, author is trying to redeem herself.

Word Count: 3.7k

Masterlist >> Part 17 >> Part 19

===

Jake’s feet slid over the tiled floor of the infirmary in his haste to get to Bear. He knew that he was getting strange looks as he dodged nurses and medics as they went about their business, but he couldn’t find it in him to care what they thought. He had had a realization that was more pressing than anything in his life. If Bear loved him, and Jake was almost certain she did, he had to be the one to act. Her rank prevented her from doing so, it always had. Now though, it was different. She wasn’t his direct superior any more, and that gave him this opportunity.

He had been running through a speech, words he would say to her as he made the trip from the showers to her room, but nothing seemed to quite capture the depth of his feelings for her. Bear was special. She deserved nothing less than the best, especially after everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks. So Jake had to get this right.

He walked through the door to her room, stopping whatever conversation Rooster and Phoenix were having. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Phoenix replied. She had a very curious look on her face, but it quickly shifted to a smirk as she took him in. “Finally realized it, didn’t you?”

“Shut up.” Jake knew his face was bright red and the knowing looks from both Rooster and Phoenix only made his embarrassment worse. “Seriously. Shut it.”

“Karma’s a bitch, Seresin,” Rooster said with a laugh. “You made fun of me and my girl for how long? It’s only fair I get the same honor.” The look on his face was making Jake regret ever opening his mouth, and that never happened. And that fucking Chicken looked smug as hell.

Jake just groaned, scratching at his jaw. “And I shouldn’t have done that, but it got you two idiots together. So just get out. Please. I have to talk to her.”

The other man’s face softened, just a little. “Fine. Go get her.” Rooster clapped Jake on the arm before getting up and leaving. “I was hungry anyways.”

“Asshole!” Jake yelled out the door at his retreating figure. “Thanks Nix.”

Phoenix just grinned at him. “You finally clued in, didn’t you? Your dumbass just realized that she loves you.” The look on her face was pure glee, a look no one saw very often, and now it was staring him down. “Jake. Relax. You’ll be okay.”

“I know. I appreciate this.” He’d stuffed his hands in his hoodie pockets, awkwardly shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Her smile grew and Jake knew that she had understood him. “I know you do, even if you can’t say how much.” Her tone was soft and Phoenix gave him a nod before slipping out the door, closing it gently behind her.

Finally, Jake was left alone with Bear once more. Like he had before leaving, he let his eyes trail over her, searching for any sign that she was awake. Any muscle twitch, a sign, anything. But there was nothing. So he took his seat once more, his hand finding hers and blew out a breath. He had time to practice his speech, he might as well use it.

“Teddy, since I met you… No I can’t say it like that. I’m not proposing,” Jake stopped his train of thought, and tried to start again. “Teddy, I have literally no idea how to say this - fuck me! Why can’t I just say it out loud? It’s three fucking words!” He groaned, his chin dropping to rest against his chest, staring down at his and Bear’s joined hands.

He took a deep breath, blowing out his exhale, before looking back up. “I shouldn’t have to think about it. Mama said that when I know, I’ll know. Don’t think, just do…” Jake pulled a face, suddenly thankful his back was to the door. “Fucking hell Teddy, you’ve got me so bent outta shape, I’m quotin’ the old man now.”

Running his thumb over the back of her hand, Jake closed his eyes, losing himself in the memories of them both. He marveled at her in nearly every one, too caught up on the light in her eyes to do more than just listen to her every word, hang off of it like a child on playground equipment. Pulling his feelings from those memories, he managed to speak. “You took ‘I love you to death’ a little too literally, darlin’,” his voice broke, too emotionally raw to say what he felt without tears. “You nearly did just that to save me. I need to return the favor, Teddy, so I’m gonna love you back to life.”

The room fell silent with only the sounds of his quiet sobs echoing in the stillness. God, he loved her. He loved her more than he had loved anything in the world. Even flying didn’t compare to the swoop his heart did when she was close. Now though, she was both so close and so far away all at the same time. “I love you. I only hope you love me too.”

===

Through the haze, Bear heard a voice. It was distant, but familiar and leading her out of the darkness. The only words she could make out were three of the most distinct: I. Love. You. She couldn’t yet make out who was speaking, but she hoped, she hoped so desperately, that it was Jake on the other side of the fog in her mind. She needed it to be. She had to see him, she had to see her Flyboy.

If it was Jake, she had to talk to him. Bear had to tell him that she loved him back. And she did. If Bear had the energy and the forethought, she would have told him the second she had seen him in the conference room. It had taken hallucinations of waking up in his arms for her to clue in that this wasn’t just attraction. No, Bear loved him. Loved him so much that she would face the armies of the world alone to spare him death. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before and she was both terrified and thrilled that she had figured out why her chest got tight whenever his name was mentioned.

Terrorists couldn’t take him from her, and death couldn’t take her from Jake. If that wasn’t meant to be, Bear didn’t know what was. The voice wasn’t so distant now, nearly loud enough for her to make out everything being said, and she was running towards it, clawing through the shadows and muffled noises until…

Bear heard beeping, the sound of someone stifling sobs, and the same words that had pulled her from the darkness. “God, Teddy. I need you to wake up. I love you too much to let you go like this. Please.”

It was Jake. And he was crying. Her heart broke and she wanted to speak, but her throat was so dry that all she could do was squeeze his hand.

Jake gasped, his tear-filled eyes flying to meet hers. “Teddy.”

“I love you too.” Bear’s voice was raspy from disuse and Jake just stared at her, his hand squeezing hers tightly.

He handed her the water on the bedside table, letting her sip it as he gaped at her, his entire body frozen still. “What?” Jake’s voice sounded strangled as his breath caught in his throat, the cup left forgotten on the table beside him.

“I love you too,” Bear repeated slowly. Her heart was pounding and alarms were going off from the monitors, but all she cared about was hearing Jake say those three beautiful words one more time.

Jake had a knee on her bed in a flash, leaning over her. “Tell me you don’t want this, because I can’t go back to how it was. I just can’t.” His eyes were wide and flicking between her eyes and lips. “Teddy, darlin’ I need you to say somethin’.”

“Kiss me,” Bear whispered. And holy fuck did he. Their lips met and it felt like a vat of chocolate melting in her chest as she kissed him back with everything she could. Trying her hardest to pour every ounce of feeling she had for him into this one gesture, gasping as he tugged on her lip. The cheeky bastard.

For Jake, all he could focus on were the fireworks going off in his head. He deepened the kiss, using her gasp to slip his tongue into her mouth, tangling it with hers.

He finally pulled away, watched Bear’s eyes slowly flicker open and grinning as she blinked back emotion that had filled her eyes. “Flyboy…”

“I’m here, Teddy. I’m not going anywhere.” Jake’s hand found hers, squeezing it tightly before pressing a kiss to the back of it, slowly climbing off of the bed. Seconds later, two nurses burst into the room, eyes flying to the now-awake Bear sitting up in her bed.

“Commander…” one nurse began while the other checked the vitals machine. “Any idea as to why your heart rate is so high?” She shot Bear a wink, knowing full well that the blond man in the corner was responsible.

“I have a few ideas,” Bear managed to say over her giggles at the face Jake pulled behind the second nurse’s back. “I’m feeling alright though.”

“I’m sure you do, ma’am. But let’s do a quick assessment first and then we’ll let you get back to your… friend.”

Her face went bright pink, heat spiraling up her ears. “Sounds good.”

“Lieutenant, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the other nurse said, looking at Jake, who then turned to look at Bear.

“I want him to stay.” Her tone had slipped effortlessly back into that of a commanding officer, letting the two nurses know that if they tried to remove him, she would fight back.

They nodded, gesturing for him to sit back down in the chair that they had moved a little ways off from the bed before conducting their assessments. It only took a few minutes for them to determine that she was doing well and left the room, the first nurse hanging back just a moment. “Try to keep that heart rate under control, you two. I know that might be hard with him in the room, but I can’t guarantee any privacy if you two start something.” And with one final wink at the two of them, the nurse left, closing the door again.

“Hear that, Teddy? I gotta control you,” Jake teased, grinning at her. He was just doing this to get a rise out of the woman next to him, who just grinned back, before whipping her arm out to smack him in the stomach.

“Watch it Flyboy,” Bear replied, raising an eyebrow in a feigned stern look. “They’re gonna think that you are the one needing handling.” She was smirking at the red creeping up the back of Jake’s neck, proud of herself for catching him off guard.

But Jake recovered quickly, creeping back towards the bed, eyes fixed on hers. “Careful darlin’, you and I both know that the only thing that needs handlin’ is that mouth. Do I need to shut you up?”

Her face widened in a challenging grin, the familiar spark Jake had often seen in her eyes had been reignited and he felt himself shiver at the intensity gazing back at him. “And the only one doing that handling is gonna be you, right?”

“You’re damn right, Teddy.” His hand cradled her cheek, gently drawing her back in for another soft kiss. “You’re mine. If you want to be.”

“So long as you’re mine,” Bear replied softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, grinning as he chased her lips. “This is quite the wake up call, though Flyboy. A half-naked man sitting at my bedside, proclaiming his undying love for me.” Bear had been playing with his hoodie strings as her palms rested on his chest, feeling the warmth of his body through the thin material of his half-zipped hoodie.

Jake glanced down, catching sight of his bare chest near her hands. “I should probably fix that, huh?”

“Or… you could just stay here…”

He groaned. “You promised the nurse that you would keep that heart rate down, darlin’. Don’t start sayin’ shit like that or you will break your promise.”

Bear just winked at him, settling back against the pillows behind her. “Be quick? I missed you.”

“I’ll be as fast as I can. I promise,” Jake leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, making her smile as she lay back against the pillows.

===

Jake left the room with a wide grin on his face. Bear was awake, and she loved him too! It literally couldn’t get better than this. He hurried back to the locker room, passing Payback, Bob, and Rooster going the other direction. He gave them a nod, and Bob grinned at him, catching the flush on his cheeks. Out of everyone, the WSO knew exactly what had happened, and yet, Jake couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He was steps away from the locker room door, when it swung open, revealing Shrike leading a very disgruntled and worn out Hazard and Jake saw red. This was all his fault; every single little thing. He was the reason Bear had written her letter, the contents of which he would never reveal to anyone. She had known something was off, she had written it down. And Hazard, Colton, had nearly ruined everything.

Hazard barely had time to react before Jake shoved him back through the door and up against the wall. “YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Jake roared, the pure rage in his voice bouncing off every tile in the locker room.

But it wasn’t Jake throwing the first punch. No, Hazard got a hand up and punched him in the nose, a malicious grin tearing open on his face. “Whatcha gonna do, you fucking ass? Hit me? You can’t.”

Jake smirked, blood rushing down his face. “That’s where you’re wrong. Mav never said anything about us not beating you half to death. Really wanna try somethin’?” He knew that his eyes held the same fire that had burned in Bear’s when she burst into the room to confront him. But unlike when she had done it, Hazard didn’t seem scared of Jake. “I have no problem with any of it.”

His drawled words, combined with the blood from his nose, were enough to make Shrike smile from her spot in the corner. She and the other Seals were on a tight leash, unable to do more than throw the man a dirty look, so if she had engineered this little meetup, no she didn’t. Hazard deserved everything coming to him, even if she couldn’t be the one to inflict a fraction of the pain her boss had experienced.

Hazard opened his mouth to speak, to make some smart ass comment, when Jake slammed his palm into Hazard’s nose. The yell of pain the Seal let out only made Jake’s smirk widen, his green eyes cruel and vindictive. “Bear took worse than that, and you’re whinin’ like a little bitch?” Jake spat, knowing that Hazard was both cuffed and off his game. “You’re pathetic.”

The Seal took another swing, missing Jake by a mile and the pilot laughed. “Come on. I threw you off? Wow. You ain’t nearly as good as you think you are.” He was cackling now, the anger on Hazard’s face only stoking the rage building with every passing moment. He circled Hazard, grinning widely. “Come on, playboy. Show me why you’re a Seal, hmm?”

Two more missed haymakers had Jake’s smirk growing exponentially. He returned the swings, three blows to the stomach, making Hazard double over, groaning. “Now that’s not in the naval spirit,” Jake hissed, grabbing his opponent by the shirt and slamming him back into a row of lockers. Two quick blows to the side, followed by a knee to the face that left blood on Jake’s sweatpants, had Hazard sliding to the ground. “Oh no you don’t. You don’t get to pass out.”

Jake slapped him across the face, grinning as Hazard’s blue eyes opened and then widened in fear at how close Jake now was. He scrambled back towards the center of the room, feet kicking out and cuffed hands pushing against the tile, doing everything he could to get away from the man before him.

But he was no match for the angry pilot striding towards him with blood still running down his face and staining his chest. “Coward!” Jake growled, pulling the panicked man to his feet and throwing him back into a bench. “You’re just a little bitch, ain’t ya? Brave brave man when betraying your people! BUT NOW? YOU’RE NOTHIN’!” His voice was deafening to those inside. But Jake didn’t care. How could he? His knuckles ached but it paled in comparison to the wrath in his eyes and the hellfire in his blood. Hazard wasn’t getting out alive. Not if he could help it.

In a blink, Jake was on top of Hazard, raining hell down in the form of punches, uncaring if his knuckles were bleeding in time with the traitor’s face. He didn’t know how many times he’d hit the coward, but then Bob and Rooster were pulling him off the other man. “LET ME GO!” Jake roared, fist catching Rooster’s jaw as he struggled. “GET OFF ME!”

Shrike took the moment to move forward, wet cloth in hand. If she took Hazard out of the room looking like his face had been punched in, she could face some trouble. “But let’s be real,” she thought. “People would thank him.” Roughly wiping off the blood, Shrike hauled Hazard to his feet and dragged him out the door. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya, Texas!” Shrike called back as she left the room, bleeding man in tow.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Rooster was looking at his bloody face like he didn’t recognize the man behind it.

“Bastard had it coming,” Jake grumbled, wrenching his arm free from Bob’s grip and stomping over to the sink to wipe the blood off his face and chest. “And don’t tell me you wouldn’ta done the same.”

Rooster scowled at his back, following him. “I wouldn’t have. I-”

Jake whirled around, eyes wild. “Bull fuckin’ shit, Bradshaw! If it were your girl, if someone had hurt your family, you woulda done the same. Hell, even Bob would have fuckin’ done the same!” He was yelling again, uncaring of who heard him.

“She’s not your girl, Seresin. You need to calm down.”

“Get. Out,” Jake ground out. “I beat one man’s ass already today. I’ll do it again.”

“You see this too, right Bob?” Rooster looked genuinely concerned for Jake, as his gaze swung back forth between the two men. “Jake, you trauma bonded. She saved you and got captured as a result. You owe her nothing.”

Jake’s heart sank, anger deflating so suddenly that he nearly collapsed. “It’s-that’s not…”

“I’m sorry, man. But you have to know that,” Bradley said gently. “Bear is amazing and you guys were great friends before this, but beating a man up for her? Surely you have to admit that that is a little excessive.”

“Rooster,” Bob spoke up, seeing the look on Jake’s face. “Leave it, okay?”

“But Bob…”

The WSO shook his head, silencing Bradley’s protests. “He’s been through enough, he doesn’t need this too. Just drop it.” Bob turned to Jake, pausing for a minute as he took in the blond’s conflicted look, before gesturing for Rooster to leave them. “Let me talk to him.”

“Bob-” But when he saw the head shake, Rooster sighed and left.

“You love her.” Bob’s statement made Jake look up at him. “You loved her before we left.”

“I did…” Jake whispered. “God, I’ve loved her for a while. This isn’t a trauma bond. I swear it isn’t.”

“I know.” Jake nodded, chewing on his lip as Bob continued. “You were worried and now you’re doubting everything. All because Rooster of all people got to you? I believe you, Jake and if you say you love her, then I don’t doubt that.”

“You would have done the same, right?”

Bob nodded, eyes darkening just a little. “I would definitely have done the same. You’ve met my wife, you know I would. I also heard a rumor that Bear is awake, you should tell her.”

“I will.”

“Good. Have fun explainin’ the black eye though. Looks like that rat-bastard hit you good.” Bob clapped him on the shoulder and left.

Clearly the bespectacled man didn’t know that he’d already seen Bear. That he’d already told her he loved her. But Bob didn’t need to know, Jake reasoned, pulling on his T-shirt that sat abandoned on a different bench. “Bear loves me back.”

===

Bear sat in her bed, body sagging into the pillows. Every single part of her hurt. Even the end of her nose. A part of her wondered about where Jake was, but figured that he was probably catching up with his team, maybe informing hers that she had woken up. Or maybe, he’d gotten sidetracked by something else.

Either way, Bear let her eyes flutter close, just for a moment. But they flew open moments later at the sound of a crash a few rooms away, making her groan in frustration. She couldn’t even fall asleep without her mind hauling her back to that hellhole. It didn’t matter that the men had left her alone save for their incessant demands for information that she wouldn’t share, it had still fucked her up.

She sat still for a moment before letting her head loll against the pillow, trying to clamber back into that blissful land of sleep that she had left nearly an hour ago to soothe the man with the green eyes that had stolen her mind. Bear was tired of being tired. Exhausted from being afraid, from putting her focus on escaping, and all she wanted was a fucking nap.

This time, her attempt was interrupted by what sounded like Priya shouting “YOU WHAT?!” Even now, on bed rest, despite her forcing the reins of Seal Team 3 back into Bug’s hands yet again, there was still work to be done. Bear only wondered what had her mild mannered second yelling in such a way. Had someone come forward about their involvement in her capture? Or had someone incorrectly filled out a form and caused Bug two hours of extra work?

Either way, Bear felt the exhaustion seep into her bones as she shut her eyes against the fluorescent lighting that seemed to force its way into every pore. She felt like she was under a microscope; every twitch, every rustle, on display for the world to see her wounds.

All she wanted was to sleep, but it had eluded her at every attempt thus far and it was already driving her up the wall.

A nurse passed by the open door and Bear waved her over, asking her if she could shut the lights off. A nod and then a click and the room seemed to fall quiet. The only remaining light came from the open window, but it grew faint the longer Jake was gone and so she reached, pulling at some of her stitches and was able to turn the bedside light on.

It had clearly been brought in for Jake as he spent his time watching over her and the thought sent butterflies racing through her stomach.

He was safe.

And so was she.

Bear could rest easier now. Her hours spent in worry for her team, for Jake, for everyone was over. Bug had it handled and she could lay back and let her team handle it.

So she dozed in her room, waiting for the green-eyed, golden haired man she loved to come back to her.

===

Jake was silent the entire way back to the infirmary, lost in his thoughts. But he was quickly pulled from them when Bear gasped, her eyes catching on the growing bruise around his eyes and nose. “What happened?”

“Hazard.”

“He’s just wandering?” Bear’s eyes flared with anger that the traitor would lay his hands on Jake. “No one’s watching him? Questioning him?” Her hand moved up to trace over his cheekbone, a feather light touch over his bruising eye.

Jake sat on the edge of the bed, catching her hand and pulling it down to rest on her lap. “Teddy. I’m okay. Pretty damn sure Shrike led him into my path, knowin’ that I had his number.”

Her anger suddenly forgotten, Bear grabbed his other hand with hers, gently running a thumb over the broken skin on his knuckles. “You hurt him?”

“I did. Couldn’t let him get away with the shit he pulled, he hurt my girl,” Jake replied softly, meeting her eyes. “I would have killed him if I thought that’s what you woulda wanted.”

Bear shook her head. “Jake, no. His skull is mine. But he will face justice, Admiral Harris has been informed of the situation. All of it,” she told him, her eyes softening as they caught the truthfulness of his words. “I love you. I don’t care how fast it is. I love you.” She raised his hand to her lips, trailing barely-there kisses over his knuckles, only stopping when Jake’s hand lifted her head up to kiss her gently.

“I love you too, Teddy. I love you too.”

Everything else could wait. The world was on pause, Bear thought, as Jake folded himself into her hospital bed, pulling her into his arms and peppering kisses to her face.

He loved her and she, him. What more could be said?

===

A/N: They finally said it! I know I freaked some of y’all out with that nightmare in the last part but I think I made up for it! Big thank you to @startrekfangirl2233 and @sarahsmi13s for being incredible betas. And let’s all thank @dakotakazansky for talking me out of what I had originally planned for these two and for helping me with some replotting!

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