#But the guy is ENTIRELY sex repulsed - doesn't identify as asexual for personal reasons but he . basically is. hates anything sex adjacent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ishibishie · 2 years

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it's time.

steven headcanons the ace week special. wooooo

- steven has identified as asexual for five years, ever since he was twenty. before, he labeled himself as straight as his thought was "well i guess i don't like other guys so i can't be gay or bi, right?" and very briefly (and secretly) took the bisexual label as he perceived himself to "like" males and females equally.

- like a lot of his hardest journeys, it was wallace who was steven's biggest help. wallace simply recommended looking into asexuality, and letting steven make his own decisions from there.

- the moment when the term "asexual" clicked for steven, it was like a HUGE weight lifted off his shoulders. there was actually a word to describe his feelings? he wasn't just some oddball who hadn't grown up yet? he very much recalls the relief he felt that day.

- however, actually taking the label was a whole other story. there were lots of moments after discovering asexuality where steven would try and force doubt in himself: he's probably scared. or too young, despite being twenty years old. or maybe he's traumatized by his mother's death. if it's acephobic, steven typed it on a search engine.

- the first person steven ever came out to was, of course, wallace. about two months after first finding the label, steven had finally accepted "defeat" and knew that this is who he was, and ready to tell someone. like every baby queer's first coming out, the emotions were everywhere.

- the second and currently last person steven has officially come out to is his dad. he doesn't really like to recall that day, unless he REALLY wanted to remind himself of the ignorance and apathy given to him.

- one day, he wishes to put all of the speculations and rumors about his sexuality to rest and officially say he's asexual to the world and move on, but he fears the backlash from his ravenous feminine fanbase for somehow letting them down. he very much hates being objectively attractive.

- sometimes, steven will wear an ace ring. whether he does or not really depends on his mood.

- steven sees himself as neither sex-positive or sex-negative: he simply doesn't care. however, he is sex-repulsed and will quietly scoot away from a conversation that shifts into tmi territory, and he'll probably swear you out if you drag him into the conversation.

- ever so often, steven will once again try and instill a sense of doubt in himself and question if he's REALLY asexual or going through a phase. these shifts in thinking are almost always brought upon by some conversation/argument with his dad.

- despite being very comfortable with his asexual label, he still goes through a lot of internalized hatred and shame. most often, it manifests by looking at other aces being open and proud, only to think: "what are they so proud of?"

- he hates the "aces like cake" joke. only because he personally feels called out by it due to his secret sweet tooth.

- he actually has been to a pride-related celebration once! he was simply under the guise of "just a supporter" but he remembers feeling a little bit more comfortable with his orientation in that moment, just because of the environment.

- whenever he has the misfortune of hearing some narrow-minded talk of asexuality, steven keeps quiet. he WANTS to jump in and correct whatever's being said, but dreads that his words can be seen as a "why do you even know so much about this" thing.

- to help himself get a little more comfortable with things, steven has put a few subtle pride-related things on some of his more personal belongs. he has a few ace stickers on his laptop that never leaves his house, and a single pinback button with the pride flag attached to his caving bag.

- he does own an ace pride flag as well, but it stays in his closet as he has no real use to actually use it.

- there are a few reasons steven one day wishes to let the entire world know about his orientation: mostly because it would help shut down the constant rumors about "does steven stone is gay," but also because he wants his fangirls to leave him alone. and to drop by the pubs in galar again, because he fears that he'll get way too over his head and out himself while completely drunk.

- steven has actually sent in anonymous messages to various ace-related microblogging sites. mostly regarding questions he has, especially about being unhappy that he's this way, but seeing random strangers online respond to and reassure him helps with the "oh god oh shit this is real i'm self-loathing help" feeling.

- despite having a lot of negative emotions attached to being asexual, his specific circumstances, and whatever else, steven still believes that he's glad he finally found out he's asexual: it beats pretending to be into sex and calling himself straight when he knew he was lying to himself. he finds his current situation better than his last, and that's sometimes all he can ask for.

#not art #steven stone #headcanons #shorter post this time but w/e #he is ace #man i wish i could've self projected more i discovered asexuality via a fanfic that's so lame

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