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simpingfortheages · 3 years

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//OH BABY BUT I DO//

Billie Dean Howard x Fem Reader

( SMUT, BEGGING,ANGST story with a twist just read it )

Love is everylasting. It's fun, because that's what they tell us in story books.

Billie stumbled through the doorway of our house. She held her pair of black heels loosely on her index acryliced finger. " Hey baby" she shouted into the empty room," in the kitchen " I replied. I heard her bare feet running along the board floor to find me,not before she threw her heels into the corner. I was currently popping open a bottle of champagne and pouring it into 2 wine glasses. Billie came struting into the kitchen with a big smile plastered on her beautiful face. As she made her way towards me I held one of the glasses out to her." Here Billie babe to new beginnings" I cheered. With no hestiation Billie took the glass and clicked it with mine. We simultaneously downed the glasses within seconds, " so how was your day?"I asked. "It was good,we got a lot done and we also finished two and a half episodes" she said with delight. "That's so good Bil" I commented. We sat in silence,except for the fact that Billie was tapping her newly yellow acryliced nails on the surface of the counter. She was impatient but i wasn't going to make the first move. With a loud exasperated huff,Billie practically launged herself towards me,capturing her lips on mine. The kiss becamed heated very quickly, her hands became entangled in my hair while mine gripped her waist,pulling her closer.

Billie pulled her tan skirt over her thighs and did a little jump to wrap her long toned legs round my waist. I held her up by her thighs, I could have felt how needy she was because her core was now pressed against the thin material of my shirt. I smirked into the kiss. I made my way up carefully up the stairs, as i did so, I broke the kiss to see where I was going. A needy whined left Billie's plump lips, while I ascended the stairs, Billie left love bites on my neck. It didn't take me long to reach our bedroom. I roughly threw her on her bed. I stopped to take in the sight of her. Her chest rising and falling, her hair was a mess but a mess in a sexy manner. She was currently trying to unbutton her shirt and kick off her stockings along with her skirt. I chuckle left my lips at her struggle. I crawled up the bed and helped her undress. Billie now left in only her matching black underwear and bra,she pulled me down onto her form. My blood boiled at the fact that she still wanted me, the audacity the medium had. I forcefully swallowed my emotions and proceeded to removed her remaining articles of clothing. I slowly kissed her neck leaving marks on hers to match mine, she was so caught up in the moment she didn't seem to mind. Although i know after it all she will be frantic to cover the marks for tomorrow's episode . Billie never did like to show off the marks I left on her, she always complained about it being "unprofessional". I respected her choice up until tonight that is. I was determined to mark every part of her skin, to remind her of me. Billie Dean was never one to be but she was Oh so desperate and needy tonight. I couldn't deny her of what she really wanted. I made quick work of adorning her neck and chest area. I latched my soft lips on to her nipples and bite down, which caused a whimper and moan to rip through Billie's throath. I knew she liked it rough.

I kissed lower and lower along her bikini line until I reached her core. I pried open her legs to admire the mess I made. It really was a shame. I delicately traced my fingers over the constellation freckles that decorated her flawless skin. Billie really was a piece artwork, one that never ceases to draw everyone's attention. She was impatient. Very impatient, but I liked it that way. It seemed like she wanted me, needed me . "Y/N please touch me" Billie begged,she stared up at me with eyes filled with hope,longing and lust. I took my finger and ran it along her slit,collecting her slick. Billie's back arched off the bed into a pretty bow. The heels of her feet were digging into the mattress,as she pushed her hips up against my fingers that teased her entrance. I dipped the tips of my fingers into her dripping core,but not all the way in like she wanted, "beg me Billie" I demanded. Her head twisting against the pillow while her hands held a vice grip onto the covers. She managed to open her mouth," please fuck me y/n don't tease me any longer please" she said desperately. I plunged my fingers deep into her warm core, pulling in and pushing out of her slowly. The feeling of her velvet walls hugging my fingers were euphoric. It was a perfect fit, " You want more don't you Billie?" I teased. Billie couldn't find her voice, instead she nodded her head vigrously. Her once perfectly curls were now unrecognizable as the back of her head rubbed on the pillow. "Use your words Bil, I'm not a spirit who can read your mind" I teased further more, coaxing her to speak. "More y/N plea-please more" she spoke as her small voice cracked. I added a third finger into her tight cunt. Billie threw her head back onto the pillow and immediately grabbed my wrists. Mewls and moans filled the already thick atmosphere. I never stopped moving my hands. My movements only got faster and faster as her nails dug into my wrist, she tried so very hard to keep herself grounded but failed in doing do. I curled my fingers to reach her sweet spot,as I did so I pressed my thumb against her neglected clit. The combination of Billie being stretched by my fingers and the attention on her clit was too much for her to handle. " Y/N I'm- I'm gonna-" her words were cut off as waves of pleasure washed over her. The medium's eyes rolled back to the back of her head as her mouth was left open ,as her high ended a loud moan filled the room. I slowed pulled my fingers out but i didn't stop rubbing her until she calmed down.

After a few seconds when Billie calmed down. I flopped on the side on her on the bed causing her naked body to jiggle with my movements. I leaned over the bed and grabbed a couple of tissues to wipe my hands clean of Billie. This didn't go unnoticed by the medium as a look for perplexion made its was onto her face. How cute she looked. Usually I would tell her how good she tasted or I would let her taste herself. However she didn't question the act. She propped herself on her side and began running her fingers through my hair. All the while, raking her nails along my scalp. That was the best feeling. It wasn't long until her hand started to drift towards my waist band,most likely to return the favour.

Out of reflex I grabbed her wrist at a halt. " Bil i know" was all I said, Billie sat upon the bed, now alert of my words. " Y/N what's are you talking about?" She questioned with her eyebrows furrowed. " I know about you and" I swallowed thickly. I wanted to yell at her but i didn't " about you and your new assistant" I spat out the last line. Billie's eyes were wide as ever. The look of horror dawned upon her face. That expression on her face was the frosting on the cake. Her complexion was purely white. The red blush that crept upon her face from our love making was now gone. "Why Billie?" I asked with emotion heavy in my voice. "Baby i- I didn't mean too"she stuttered. "Didn't mean too?? Billie you slept with her on our bed. I fucking know because if you tried to listen to me last week. I told you I recently installed cameras. You know since you are a well known celeb now" my voice raised in its level causing her to jump. "How could you Bil? I thought you loved me" I choked out. "Baby but i do" she tried to comfort me but i knew the truth. "It was a dumb mistaken, I wasn't thinking straight Y/N please" she begged as she grabbed onto the front of my shirt to not make me move away. The vice grip she had on me made nail indents into my chest. I didn't care about it, the pain of my breaking heart had hurt more. "No Billie, a mistake is bumping into someone, what you did was for spite. You were thinking straight. And I am 100% sure you would have continued if I never found out. " the dam of tears didn't break. I felt numb.Billie Dean Howard broke me. " Y/N No that's not true. I don't love anyone else but You. I love you alone." She sobbed. Tears cascaded down her cheekbones. In another time I would be the one to wipe those tears away and place kisses upon her wet skin, but that was another time. " fuck off Bilie, don't sell me bullshit. You think i am dumb? I know you have slept with her more. Not only at home. IN OUR HOME! But I am sure you have at work. Don't you think i notice the different perfumes ?? Or the fact that your makeup is well applied,almost too applied when you come home." I raged.

My heart hurt, the veins in my head were throbbing at this point. "Y/N listen to me, I wasn't thinking, it was only twice I swear and I promise you I will never ever do anything like that to hurt you." At this point I was getting off the bed, trying to get the hell away from her as possible. Billie followed me off the bed trying to grab onto me again. I shrugged her off and threw some pajamas towards her body to get dressed. " you're barely home anymore Billie,you didn't even see that all my clothes are gone. You don't have time for me. It's not like I am asking you to choose between work or me. I am just saying make time for me" I continued to rant as I paced up and down the carpet." I will baby I promise. I will fire her and get someone else" she tried to resonant with me as she sloppily tried to dress herself. "Billie. I don't care what you do anymore...." I whispered. The dam cracked,tears slowly started to trickle down my face. Billie ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me, plastering kisses all over my face, mumbling, apologies. I gently took her arms and unwrapped them from me. She cried out my name as I did so. " And to think I was going to propose and wanted to start a family with you" Billie stayed silent. Her eyes were waterfalls at this point. Her bottom lip never stopped wobbling. " please Y/N I know I fucked up but I promise you I will never do that again." She recited over and over. " like how you promised to love me?"I snapped. " BUT I DO LOVE YOU" the medium screamed "I am sorry Billie but I cannot do this anymore" I whimpered. " No no y/n you are not going to leave me!!" Billie demanded and she stomped her foot on the floor like a toddler. I ran a hand through my hair to try and neaten my appearance as i fixed my clothes infront the mirror. " And to think Billie that you of all people couldn't recognise the demon living inside you all along...". A gasp escaped her throath and added to the tension in the room. " you- you don't mean that" she cried silently. I slowly walked up to her and gently tucked a curl behind her ears, " oh but baby I do". Billie locked her eyes on me as tears fell from her face. "I'll get you back one day Y/N just you see, I love you and I mean it." She hiccupped. "Maybe...maybe not,but right now Billie I cannot be with you." I cried out. She slowly nodded her head and wiped her face with the back of her hands. "One day we will be a family y/n I swear on it and we Will be together again as we should" Billie promised. Unfortunately I believed her words, I left Billie standing in a room that was once ours. I fought the urge to run back and comfort her, but she broke my heart. I deserved better, yet part of me couldn't help but want her to be true to her words. I still love Billie deep down and always will ..after all she is Billie Dean Howard, medium to the stars... she's my star.

#billie dean howard #billie dean x reader #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson characters #angst fic #smut #sarah paulson fanfic #Sarah Paulson x reader

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bisluthq · 2 years

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//Coz the friend doesn’t want to be outed as a Klossy who’s running their mouth all over town lmfao and telling Pat’s business.// i 100% get and respect taht but then it's sorta weird telling it anyway? not the whole world but a gossip blog still. unless you guys are friends

I meaaaaan blabbermouth friend is blabbering to their own friend who is a big Swiftie and reads this blog. We stay winning overall so idk why we’d be complaining lol. I think it can be exciting to have a famous friend dude and it’s fun to talk about it. It’s gossip. They’re not like spilling crazy shit. It’s just… fun to gossip dude like that’s all it is.

I do protect the privacy of people who come off anon tbh and I’m less likely to believe people who won’t. And like people who do come off anon are either industry or industry adjacent - obvi not like high up lmao - or normies entangled with celebs or minor celeb adjacent people like Pat or like Mrs Robinson person who has mutuals with Joe or whatever. I once had someone come off anon because their sibling lived next door to Wildestyles and they had proof lol. One of my readers has a close mutual with Florence Pugh. One of my readers has a very slutty friend in the UK film industry and her friend is friends with other slutty people. I personally know people in the film service and writing industries. My girlfriend personally worked in costuming for a bunch of projects. It’s shit like that.

I don’t believe in like sekrit sources and none of these people NECESSARILY know shit lol it’s legit just gossip but it’s fun and it’s interesting and if you have fun and interesting gossip always feel free to like talk about it. I will never post identifying info, and I’m never gonna post something I’m asked not to post tbh. Sometimes I think people just like having someone to tell they ~know something.

At the end of the day it’s all just gossip and that’s a morally grey area but it’s fun tbh. And that’s what I’m doing y’know like running a fun gossip blog.

I actively don’t like sensationalism and I don’t like “I know insiders” vibes because I don’t really believe in insiders in any industry tbh but like we can gossip y’know? That’s all it is.

And if you feel it’s immoral or unethical you’re 100% correct but like I have fun doing this and like my readers and shit do too.

#nat talks bisluthq

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tasloveskk · 4 years

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Some folklore thoughts 💭🌲✨🏳️‍🌈

Part 1

I’m going to take it song by song while also tracking key themes in red! Please also feel free to add in your thoughts in the comments, I’m curious to see what else people think folklore is about...

folklore

‘folklore’ is defined as “a body of popular myths or beliefs relating to a particular place, activity, or group of people.” or, by Steve from Taylor’s IC,”the traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community, passed through the generations by word of mouth.” Taylor herself in her introduction/prologue says “A tale that becomes folklore is one that is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact. Myths, ghost stories, and fables. Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets written in the sky for all to behold.”

the 1

- firstly, it’s the best opening track she’s ever had! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

- “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit” = sounds to me like a conversation you have with an ex, like someone is saying “yeah I’m doing great, I’m dating/doing ‘x’” the first time they run into their ex in a while.

-“I thought I saw you at the bus stop” has BIG “this city screams your name” energy but is also very clever by Taylor because Miss Karlie Kloss is ALWAYS on advertisements on bus stops/literal buses around the globe 🚌

- “I hit the Sunday matinee” to me seems like an inside thing, because obviously as the world biggest pop star, if taylor is going to go to the theatre or cinema, she’ll pick the least busy and most filled with older people which would be the Sunday matinee.

- “you know the greatest films of all time were never made” —> the greatest love stories never get told? happen behind the scenes? There’s something deeper here but I’m still forming the cohesive idea!

- “if you wanted me you really should’ve showed” = showed up or showed for the world, either way Taylor wanted KK to chose her not Josh so they could work but that didn’t happen so now she’s left to wonder.

- “roaring twenties” evokes two clear images for me! 1. They were both in their 20s for the entiretyof their relationship, the best years were spent together and 2. The Roaring 20s were a time of independence, pushing boundaries and breaking the rules of prohibition - which is basically what Taylor and Karlie were doing behind the scenes.

- “if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you” = let’s say, ONLY FOR ARGUMENTS SAKE, that Taylor really IS with Toe, that still means that this song is her yearning for someone else who she always loves more AND had to lose at some point. Looking at her past beards “relationships”, there are only two plausible options - Joe (which seems unlikely seeing as they’re still “together”) or CH who she supposedly wrote “you would’ve been the one if you were a better man” about. Either way doesn’t seem like it fits. However, if you look at it as Karlie is the 1, it becomes clear - it would’ve been fun being best friends and lovers for ever baking cookies and dancing around the kitchen, it would’ve been forever if Karlie hadn’t “married” jerk, it would’ve been her and it still is. 💗

- “in my defense I have none, for never leaving well enough alone” & “I know that I went psycho on the phone, I never leave well enough alone” are about the same moment with the same person = she didn’t leave well enough alone because she kept writing about Karlie and re-engaging us Kaylors as well as I’m sure, she kept up with seeing Karlie or keeping tabs on her to the point where it forced someone to reach out to the other.... she can’t apologise or defend her actions because you can’t explain the things you do for true love.

- “I have this dream you’re doing cool shit” aka starting a podcast, expanding businesses, making headway as an entrepreneur and being a highly-paid and respected international model? Seems straight forward 👀

- “you meet some woman on the Internet and take her home” = 1. Karlie is specifically interested in tech and the internet, it is literally her entire business and 2. if Karlie and Tay did break up, then because Karlie is actually NOT married to Josh, she hooked up with someone she met through the internet somehow (probs social media not an app) and Taylor found out this is probably a snarky comment about that from a jealous ex. Could possibly also be about the dream mentioned above. 💔🔐

- “another day waking up alone” = lost her lover, sleeps alone? Bold claim on opening tack.

- “persist and resist” = very famous feminist saying, civil rights/political echo?

- “the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today” = this what if mentality continues through the album but personally, I think this is about Kissgate.

- “Rosé flowing with your chosen family” = repeats later, your chosen family could refer to Karlie’s group of friends like Derek and Jourdan etc.

- “would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me” = flipped perspective, wishes Karlie chose her.

- “dragging up the grave another time” = firstly, THAT pin on her EW jacket now makes more sense. second, Taylor has written about Karlie for 4 straight albums now, she hasn’t let their love story die even if they did.

cardigan

- “brand new phone” = this is not some story, this is current reality. Taylor hides behind era-specific language and imagery in some other songs but this one is clearly about here and now, and her.

- “sensual politics” to me stands out because only really here and in TLGAD is politics explicitly mentioned and sensual politics to me screams sleeping with someone for political gain or with political connections which certainly sounds like someone...

- “when you’re young, they assume you know nothing” = sounds to me like a lot like a) love story and b) “you don’t know you’re gay, it’s just a PHASE! you’ll grow out of it!” 🏳️‍🌈

- “chase 2 girls, lose the one” = supposedly, when KK and TS met, Taylor was still in love/entangled with Dianna so perhaps she’s reflecting on making the wrong choice?

- CIWYW links: my baby’s high above the whole scene—> heartbeat on the high line, tidbit:as is clear in both Lover & 1989 New York is a sacred place for TS and KK’s love story, the high line is a) a beautiful NYC icon and b) right in between the girls’ two places...

- as mentioned, miss Karlie ELIZABETH Kloss was the brand model for Levi’s and definitely has worn some sequins and black lipstick on cobblestones sooooo.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

- “you drew stars around my scars” = see Drake’s birthday party and the infamous third Polaroid mystery 👀

- “stepping on the last train” could mean one of two things to me; 1. The last resort for KK was marrying J*sh or 2. the last train could represent some goodbye the girls had where KK chose something/someone else over Taylor.

- ��peter losing Wendy” is such an interesting metaphor on so many levels but specifically, Wendy loses Peter because she wakes up (from nearly dying but nvm) and grows up and stops believing in Neverland and magic, basically Wendy loses an attachment to Peter because her reality shifts and that’s what gets remembered especially in the Disney version of the story. HOWEVER, the opposite is also true meaning Peter Pan loses Wendy because he can never co-exist with her again, he can never grow up or bring her back to Neverland without either killing her or ruining her. So this idea that someone wanted to change the ending from peter losing Wendy because he had to do what was best for her because he loved her echoes as Karlie didn’t want to marry Jerk or hurt Taylor but had to in order to protect her. Right? 😅

- “leaving like a father, running like water” = Taylor’s parents got divorced and there’s SOME thoughts Scott left the house and Taylor lives with her Mom in Nashville in her teen years.

- “I knew everything when I was young” - Taylor has always know she was LGBT+ 🌈 and also, baby VSFS vibes because as we all know, “we were both young when I first saw you...” send tweet.

- “I knew you’d come back to me” hopefully, HOPEFULLY foreshadows the girls being together/coming out soon !!!!!!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

- music video wise, I’ll do a break down soon.

TLGAD

- ‘Rebekkah’ refers to the previous owner of Taylor’s Watch Hill, RI house, Rebekah Harkness. She was a divorcee until marrying Standard Oil heir William (aka Bill) Hale Harkness, a new-money dynasty was formed in this time from their profit. There are MANY wild, whimsical stories about ‘Betty’ (which is obviously an extended metaphor of folklore) that this song tries to re-create/recapture.

- Taylor is also known as ‘Becky’ due to the popular meme so this is quite literally a play on her own character as well as the previous inhabitants of the house.

- St Louis is not only Rebekkah’s hometown, but also Karlie Elizabeth Kloss’.

- “the wedding was charming, if a little gouche” seems like a direct shot fired at Karlie’s woodsy photoshoot of 2018 😂😂(ironically, folklore’s key aesthetic is the woods!!)

- “it must’ve been her fault his heart gave out” refers explicitly to William dying of a heart attack in the house, but subtly I feel like this is a dig at the media who constantly blame women for things they cannot control, as they have done with Taylor too many times to even count.

- “who knows if she never showed up, what could’ve been” seems like Taylor is stuck thinking about what may have happened for her and Karlie if things had been different, see the 1.

- “she/I had a marvellous time ruining everything” is such an incredibly provoking lyric on two fronts, 1. obviously taylor buying her RI house had a massive impact on an otherwise sleepy holiday town that is now more famous for Taylor’s july 4 parties than anything else and 2. seems introspective or personal, as if the things that ruined everything for Karlie and Taylor were the best and most marvellous parts of their relationship (big sur, kissgate etc.)

- “flew in all her bitch pack friends from the city” is not only about the friends and celebs Rebekkah was notorious for hosting but also Taylor’s ‘bitches and model’ girl gang circa 2015 which includes one Karlie Kloss.

- “blew through the money on the boys and the ballet” refers to Rebekkah’s love of wasting her fortune on things, including a ballet company that went under not long after she created it BUT also refers to Taylor paying so many boys to be her beards and PR stunts whilst also spending her money on a certain ex-Ballerina. Also remember her AMA’s performance of Lover/ bts of Shake It Off? 😉😉😉

- “50 years is a long time” - 50 seems deliberate, a bit of a reach but note it WAS the 50th anniversary of Stonewall last year. 🏳️‍🌈

- “free of women with madness, their men and bad habits and THEN IT WAS BOUGHT BY ME.” - this clearly shows that ALL the songs are being narrated by Taylor, some of the lyrics are about her, some are about these fictional or fantastical characters she’s created but there is her truth behind all of them too.

- “the loudest woman this town has ever seen” = Taylor is undoubtedly the most famous woman in the town who regualrly causes uproar there (see the Sea Wall debacle and the Taylor Swift Tax)

- in all, the two famed women owner’s of Holiday House have many overlaps and are forever intertwined.

exile

- “i can see you standing honey with his arms around your body” as the opening line is LOUD. to me, feels like this is about ALL those staged photos of Josh and Karlie uncomfortable/fake as hell on social media.

- “laughing but the joke’s not funny at all” is something we’ve all thought about Karlie’s marriage before and is about that moment where if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry at the situation.

- “it took you 5 whole minutes to pack up ... holding all this love out here in the hall” to me is about someone moving out of a shared home, like Karlie from Taylor’s NYC apartment, after a break up or fight. We know it is MORE than likely that the girls’ broke up, for a while or for good, in 2017/18.

- “I think I’ve seen this film before, and didn’t like the ending” is a lot like “Cause cruelty wins in the movies, I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you” / “All of my heroes die all alone.” which makes me truly believe that delicate > the archer > exile are all the progression of the same love story. ❤️

- “now I’m in exile seeing you out” = both of them have lost their home, exiled from the relationship.

- “I can see you staring honey, like he’s just your understudy” has a lot to unpack. Firstly, see this photo. Second, as a beard, Joe is quite literally Karlie’s understudy - stepping in only to fill a public void or play her part when she can’t.

- “like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me” is basically this tweet

- “second, third and hundredth chances” - hopefully this means the girls WILL be together again soon!!!

- “those eyes add insult to injury” - Taylor has often made explcit reference to her lover’s eyes, but this could also mean the eyes of the public on her every move and relationship not allowing her to properly grapple with break ups. 👁️

- “i’m not your problem anymore, so who am i offending?” - homophobes love to say wlw or mlm relationships “offend” them or their beliefs, so who could taylor be offending if she’s publicly in a straight relationship?

- “you were my crown”, Taylor was/is Karlie’s princess, if Karlie is gone, Taylor doesn’t feel like she’s a princess anymore. Likewise, Karlie is Taylor’s sunshine which makes the moody, misty, dark aesthetics all the more relevant to this album.

- “so I’m leaving out the side door’ - this side door? the other side of the door?

- “all of this time, we always walked a very thin line” between outing themselves and being happy?

- “I gave so many signs” - Taylor has queercoded EVERY album since her self-titled, she has been dropping hints and signs for years that she is LGBT+ so it must be exhausting to have to keep hiding who she loves. This is repeated so many times - it means a lot.

- written with William Bowery who nobody can quite identify, but Karlie and Taylor have been to the Bowery many times together and William is mentioned earlier in TLGAD

- this whole song is a duet, a two-sided conversation between lovers - her and karlie both without each other.

my tears ricochet

- Track 5 is, as per usual, deeply confessional, personal, emotive and moving. 😿😿

- there are lots of theories and layers to this masterpiece of a song, including that it’s in reference to big machine. I personally think every single song of Taylor’s is made up of layers that reflect multiple things in her life and experience so plausibly it can be about multiple things all at once including Sco** and Scumbag as well as Karlie, who was under Scumbag’s management for the majority of the decade. Another theory which with every new listen I think is more and more possible is that this is alternating between Taylor and Karlie’s perspectives.

- ‘if i’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too” whoever is associated with Taylor will ALWAYS be dragged down with her. If she’s being attacked, they will be too. Big 2016 energy.

- “even on my worst day, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?” could be directed at a lover, or at Big Machine, or even the public for all the shit they’ve said about Taylor over the years.

- “I swear I loved you ‘till my dying day” seems a lot like the 1, as well as could be about the music and the label she helped build.

- “I didn’t have it within myself to go with grace.” Taylor was LOUD about her split from Big Machine, she called them out (rightly) and made noise which is not a ‘graceful’ split.

- “you’re the hero flying around saving face” very easily is about S+S jackasses but deeper than that, while Taylor was under immense attack and criticism, everyone who actually like her music pretended suddenly to hate it and her to stay ‘cool’

- “cause if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” this lyric becomes especially important in the final verse but essentially those who publicly distanced themself from Taylor still showed up when she was thriving again and/or because they actually truly loved her *uhmm karlie uhmm*

- “cursing my name, wishing I stayed” either at Big Machine or with Karlie/Taylor.

- “some to make a diamond ring” > firstly we still have never understood the ring image from the LWYMMD and ME! videos, it is entirely possible this is a continuation of that same symbol/image. Second, I think this hints to Karlie getting ‘engaged’ while still being with Taylor, the rock for the ring in the song was found by the two people gathering stones after all.

- “you know i didn't want to have to haunt you” both Taylor and Karlie have big reputations all over the world that follow them everywhere. For either one, they will always be haunted by reminders of each other.

- “you wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me” - on the Big Machine side, Taylor made the label professional and big, she is literally the sole reason it succeeded in the music industry so she handed Sco** his fortune and reputation which he still had when he sold her music to Scumbag and got into a very dirty bed with him. From the Karlie side, many people have noted that not only does she wear her black cartier necklace, which is assumed to be from Taylor, but to her ‘wedding’ wore a necklace she’d worn before with Taylor.

- “when I’d fight you’d tell me I was brave” could refer to Sco** encouraging her in 2016 to defend herself. Could refer to Karlie supporting her behind the scenes.

- ‘and I can go anywhere I want, just not home” seems like a continuation from exile, as in she’s lost the place she called home because her lover is no longer there but could also mean she can’t go back to her other albums and the house (see the lover music video) that they created as her musical home.

- “you will still miss me in your bones” could be about Sco** losing his money and label without her there to physically support and carry it or about the fact that the love Taylor and Karlie had is so ingrained it’s in their bones forever.

- “and i still talk to you when I’m screaming at the sky” this lyric has a lot of possible interpretations (i’ve seen one about cursing out God?) but i think it’s similar to “asking the traffic lights if i’ll be alright” as in, it’s Taylor asking the universe to help her make sense of things.

- “when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies” suggests a) sco** + scumbag is still haunted by the music they stole from Taylor because it was literally the backbone of the business which is now practically worthless and b) that Karlie is kept awake by the songs Taylor has written for and about her over the years which again were stolen away by the jackasses at Big Machine.

- “you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same” again, same idea - big machine will never be profitable without her/while they hold her masters hostage. BUT Karlie wise, breaking up with Taylor broke her too?

- this is where the song changes. it shifts from Taylor’s story to someone else’s, personally I think Karlie.

- “you turned into your worst fears” as in she settled for the money and sold her values off by marrying Josh. Also, Karlie was under Scumbag’s management for years (part of Taylor’s hatred of him was him keeping the girls’ from doing as they pleased) so by being completely controlled by him, she turned into this completely fake person. Contrast 2014/15 Karlie with 2017/18 Karlie and it so much more all about PR and money.

- “you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years” - sco** and scumbag have made so many false excuses for their behaviour and completely erased the good relationship between the Swifts and sco**. Not sure yet what the Karlie side is here but it’s here somewhere.

- in conclusion, this is about Big Machine and Karlie. As the first song Taylor wrote for the album, I think it’s clear just how incredibly multi-faceted this album is. ☕☕☕

mirrorball

- first off, we can never forget about this and this look from both girls. ✨✨

- “I’ll to show you every version of yourself tonight”, the public and the private sides to them both. this is big glass closet energy in my opinion

- “and when I break it’s in a million pieces” is so personal and heartbreaking. 2016 and Kaylor breakup vibes. I cannot elaborate at this time.

- “when no one is around my dear” = the secrecy, forbidden love motif returns and again, if she’s in a hetero relationship, what’s to hide?

- “you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes”, Just an fyi, Karlie, a giraffe, is 6′2″, Taylor is 5′10″ -- thats a big difference. 🦒🦒🦒

- “i know they said the end is near” = end of the relationship or the end of hiding it, either way, it’s a romantic last private moment together, swaying as the room burns down.

- “i can change everything about me to fit in” = Taylor when she was starting out was forced to create this all innocent, american-girl image of herself. She has had to hide herself to succeed, as she said in Miss Americana, she was muzzled.

- “you are not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers” = Karlie is different to everyone else, or any other ex, ‘masquerade’ implies masked or hidden figures at a party, very Love Story

- “and the called off the circus, burned the disco down” = the ‘circus’ could be the media/public, or all the illusions Taylor has cast in order to appear straight. The ‘disco’, and Taylor is the ‘mirror ball’ to her lover means that this isolated existence of just the two of them.

- “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything” for now, she’s still closeted, she’s still trying to have the best of everything.

- “I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why” believer in everything working out perhaps, or perhaps believing it’s better if she’s in the closet and it’s only the two of them.

- “never been a natural” = she has completely created herself through years off trying to be what people want, not who she naturally is.

seven

- “picture me” implies this is retrospective of Taylor, she’s reflecting on her childhood/youth.

- “I hit my peak at Seven” could either refer to the age 7 or album 7, ‘Lover’ which many critics argued was her best work.

- “Over the creek I was too scared to jump in” = fear of jumping is something Taylor has discussed in many songs but this is different, the creek represents something she fears will drown her.

- “High in the sky with Pennsylvania under me” = obviously, Taylor was born and raised in rural PA, so this truly is a childhood memory unearthed and explored. It’s personal to Taylor, it’s her story. 👏🏼

- “Are there still beautiful things?” Recognizing the world isn’t all daisies and rainbows

- “cross your heart, don’t tell no other” = again, secret keeping and hiding something is a big queer image, ‘cross your heart’ is a quite childish phrase but it’s adult equivalent in Taylor’s world is an NDA, ie swearing people to secrecy is something she's always known... 🔐

- “Although i can’t recall your face, I still got love for you” = this childhood love has faded with time to memories, this girl simultaneously forgotten and remembered.

- “Your braids like a pattern” = definitely about a girl (1996 rural Pennsylvania was not the kind of place where boys had braids), specific use of YOUR pronoun not ‘my’ or ‘our’ suggesting again it’s about a girl. Very obviously about a first girl crush. 🌈

- “passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long” = firstly, reference to Neruda’s poem Taylor used in the red prologue. second, folksongs change slightly from generation to generation but the heart/melody remains the same meaning that in Taylor’s mind, the story of her first girl love has changed but it’s still the same song/story all the years later. also, clearly a reminder of the setting of the song and the album as a whole being folklore. 💛

- “your dad is always mad and that must be why” feels a lot like Love Story and forbidden love, also again rural Pennsylvania in the mid-1990s was not the most liberal place so I can imagine a lot of homophobic ideas that perforated Taylor’s childhood.

- “I think you should come live with me” is such an innocent image of someone in love and wanting to just fix things by bringing them home, it also is like a baby gay version of uhauling

- “we could be pirates” = pirates are not just a childhood image/motif but also one historically seen as gay, gangs of pirates often had ‘mateolage’ agreements that basically were like widow’s benefits. See John Swann. ☠️

- “you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet.” = I think this one is explicitly clear but just to be sure, Taylor could’ve said “hide when he lost it, hide if you wanted, hide in the woods too” etc. Read this for a full understanding of why it such a LOUD image to use. It is VERY DELIBERATE PEOPLE. 🌈🌈🌈

- “just like a folk song, our love will be passed on” = different from the first bridge but deliberate again. Their story, aka Taylor liking girls from a young age will always be talked about, AND their love lives in this song she wrote.

- “picture me in the weeds before I learned civility” = again, given the homophobic attitude, ‘civility’ and straightness should be read as the same so Taylor is saying when she was a child, free in the grass and herself, she wants to always be.

- “I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted” = she wasn’t muzzled as a child, she could say and be who she wanted, screaming it aloud for everyone to hear but that changed as she grew up.

- “pack your dolls and a sweater, we’ll move to India forever” = ‘dolls’ again would imply it’s two girls running away together and India is this exocitc far off place to a child, a place where they can be together without anyone knowing them or controlling them.

August

- Karlie Kloss is born in August. Karlie Kloss posted yesterday about being a Leo (an August born). August belongs to Karlie Kloss. 🦁♌

- “rust on your door” = image of something well-worn, perhaps someone who’s been here too a few times before?

- “whispers of are you sure?” = obviously there is the sexual connotation, but beyond that, what if it’s about Taylor and Karlie going public etc.

- “never have I ever before” = see above but also the game ‘never have I ever’ evokes youthfulness and sounds almost like a reminder of a fun night with friends.

- “I can see us lost in the memory” = implies they’re still together, losing themself in the memory together

- “I can see us twisted in bedsheets” = again, sexual imagery but also the intimacy of sharing a bed with the person you love after sex

- “Like a bottle of wine” = matures the song a bit, the youthfulness of earlier is now more adult. 21 is America’s drinking age, 20s were mentioned early etc. 🍷

- “Cause you were never mine” = the whole of Taylor and Karlie’s relationship, Karlie has publically been dating Josh so she was never solely Taylor’s.

- “Will you call when you’re back at school?” = Karlie attended NYU in 2015, the height of Kaylor.

- “back when we were still changing for the better” = instead of changing to adapt/survive or keep up appearances.

- “wanting was enough” = wanting Karlie without labels was enough, rather than having to go public etc. Many have said for a long time that Karlie and Taylor fought about coming out or not.

- “cancel plans in case you would call” = sounds like a very love-sick Taylor Swift thing to do. Also waiting on a lover’s call when they constantly are travelling like both Karlie and Taylor do makes sense. ☎️

- “so much for summer love” = cruel summer echo? Summer 2015 was again, peak Kaylor so this could be a specific reference to that period

- “Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said ‘get in the car’” another specific reference, comes up again later in Betty, clearly is something personal.

- “Back when I was still living for the hope of it all” = back as in the past when everything was happening, hope of it all being the hope they’d still end up together.

TO SUM UP PART 1:

BENEATH ALL FICTION OR MYTH IS FACT & FEELING. Taylor is no longer hiding. Yes, some of these songs are about stories and people not her but there is so much of herself and her own story layered in too. PAY ATTENTION!!! Obviously, these are just my opinions, I’m not Taylor so I cannot know exactly what these songs are about but I think, after years of analyzing her music, these images/themes and deliberate word choice are well-versed in this part of the fandom. It is entirely possible this is the beginning of Taylor’s full, public coming out journey.

I’ll be back with Part 2 tomorrow. Stay Tuned!

#ts8 #taylor swift #taylor swift gay #taylor swift karlie kloss #Kaylor #kaylor proof #gaylor swit #Gaylor #GAYLOR RISE #karlie kloss taylor swift #Karlie Kloss #karlie what you want #tasloveskk #folklore #folklore taylor swift

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its-moopoint · 4 years

Note

"not their building a full sham and entangle themselves in a shitty mess as this one just 2 years prior to its expiring." This is a big ? for me. Let's say SC are really together. Why not ride out a long engagement? Celebs/non celebs do it all the time. Why take it so far when the end is so near. Or is it? Bts do they really think the show will go more years? And if the show does go on what then? Nothing makes 100% sense and I think that's on purpose cause it keeps people following and talking.

Exactly!!!! You don't go too deep in a mess of your own doing if you have in mind getting out of it soon. Engagement innuendo with a ring was more than enough as dissuasion to keep an official gossip narrative going and give her an official escort to all the parties and events she hypothetically can't go to with Roland as her partner.

The tricky thing about this is her keeping the door open to do a U-turn and claim Samuel saying she had nothing to do with any Antonio innuendo and that would be disgusting and cynical as fuck.

We'll see but sooner or later something is gotta give.

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eightinyz · 5 years

Text

1. Painful Revenge ↦ Choi San Mafia!au

Pairing: Choi San x Reader (female)

Genre: fluff (only a little), angst, mafia!au (non celeb)

Warnings: some swearing, violence

Words: 3,1k

Summary: You’re a young law student who are happily dating the handsome San. Everything seemed to go perfectly well, until his 20th birthday.

A/N: The beginning of the story is set in Summer 2019, just before San’s 20th birthday.

It’s a pretty basic story line, but hope you’ll still like it.

There’s not much going on in this part but we have to go through it to set the story. And I’ve already wrote several parts, so please wait for them :)

Overall, just wanted to try a new thing; I’m not stopping the female additions. I wrote this scenario several months ago, but without a main male idol in mind. San’s the lucky chosen one :)

+ If there are any incoherences or spelling mistakes, please let me know.

Early mornings were always difficult, no matter how many times you had to wake up at that painful hour. You always blamed your boyfriend for keeping you up late every night, but who could stop him when he’s talking with so much passion about his days.

The sun wasn’t even up yet when you had to get out of your warm bed. As you slowly open your tired eyes, a smile appeared on your face. You were in a spooning position, your boyfriend’s face buried in your neck, his eyelashes tickling you softly. You groaned, why did it have to be so hard to leave this bed? His arm around your waist and your legs entangled didn’t help. With the little strength left in your body, you tried to lift San’s arm, doing your best to not wake him up, but as soon as he felt the pressure, his grip tightened again. He wasn’t being helpful at all.

After finally managing to get out of bed, for your boyfriend’s –and yours- misfortune, you hopped in the shower, hoping the cold water would wake you up. As you put your alarm in order to sleep as much as possible, without being late, you didn’t really had time to put much effort in your outfit or makeup. Thankfully, you already had many of your stuff at your boyfriend’s house.

The day passed by slowly, as always. Hopefully, it was almost the summer holidays. You loved what you were studying -law school- but days like that made you question your choices. It was around 3pm when your last course finished. After saying your goodbyes to your friends, you make your way to the nearest coffee shop, where your boyfriend messaged you to meet him up; it was the place you would always met, close to yours and his school.

San was scrolling through his social networks when you came, looking a little livelier than in the morning. “I though I was going to fall asleep throughout the day.”, you exclaimed, giving a quick kiss to your boyfriend and sitting down in front of him.

San smirked. “I’ll try my best to not get too carried away next time.”. What a lie, you though smiling, rolling your eyes.

You two continued your small talk in one of the coffee shop’s corner –your corner- when a waiter came to take your order. “Two mocha Frappuccino with extra chocolate topping please.”. You gazed your boyfriend lovingly, smiling at the memory.

“One mocha Frappuccino with extra chocolate topping!”. Finally, your order. You were waiting at the take-and-go section to take your drink and go back to your studying; it was finals week, and you had to ace them to be able to go to the university of your choice.

As you were approaching the waitress, ready to take your cold drink, a man took it from the woman’s hands before you. “Hey, that’s mine!”. The stress and exhaustion the late nights of studying caused made you very irritable, thus this retort.

“What do you mean? That’s mine”, the man retorted.

“That’s MY mocha Frappuccino WITH extra chocolate topping.”. The waitress had to stop your little beefing explaining that there were two same orders, as surprising as it sound.

“You can have it; you seem in a hurry. I’ll wait for the next one.”, the boy handed you the drink, flashing you a smirk.

“Thanks.”, you said not even caring to return the smile. If it wasn’t finals week, you would have been nicer, but well, who cared?

It seemed that you were meant to meet each other as you saw him several times at the coffee shop. At your third time there, you were reading a book at one of the shop’s corner. After an hour enjoying your reading, the mysterious and generous handsome boy entered the place with two of his friends, laughing loudly. Seating not too far from you, you had the chance to finally pay attention to his stunning features. He caught your stare after a few minutes, showing you his dimpled smile. San, being the cute and shy flirt he is, came a little later to introduce himself –not without the help of his friends; according to them, he didn’t have the courage to come to you at that time. That’s how this coffee shop, and especially this corner, was your place. It was the start of your story.

“You look really tired, babe.”. San laughed bringing you back from your daydream. “I promise I will let you sleep tonight.”, he continued.

“Well, tomorrow is a special day so we have to be good shape.”, you said excitedly, reminding him of the following day’s event.

“I’m really not sure who’s birthday it is looking at you.”, your boyfriend giggled.

“Speaking of birthday, we still have to buy some stuff for the party, let’s go!”, you get on your feet, taking San’s arm in the process, dragging him with you.

Loud music could be heard in the neighborhood, signaling the source of it. It was San’s 20th birthday and you almost made it a duty to make the best party for your boyfriend, in his parents’ house ��manor-. The guests were both of your close friends, especially his. The fact that you had the house for yourself wasn’t really a big surprise, as you only met his parents a few times. Actually, you never met his mother, apparently she’s abroad getting treatment for some sort of rare disease. You never asked further, not wanting to pain San more. His father is a business man, also according to your boyfriend. He would always change subjects whenever you asked more about him, so again, no more questions were asked.

“How’s law school going, lawyer?”, Hongjoong asked, taking a sip of his alcoholic drink.

“Hopefully, I have my summer break next week ‘cause I’m totally hammered. Your lovely friend loves to keep me awake till early mornings.”, you answered.

Friends around you snickered, twisting your words. “Boys, cut it, it’s not what she meant.”, San said, still with his signature smirking. Red rushed to your face as you finally understood the reason of their giggles.

The night went by strangely. Some of San’s friends seemed to appear and disappear throughout the evening. His closest friends’ whispered around a lot but whenever you got close to them, they will stop all talking and smile to you. Nothing new. Well, it has been like this for a little over a year now.

You started to search for your boyfriend when it was close to midnight; it was time for his cake and some birthday presents. You couldn’t find him anywhere on the first floor so you made your way to the stairs. On the second step, a hand stopped you holding onto you arm. “Y/N! How are you doing?”. Even after not hearing much of him the past year, you knew exactly who he was. Seonghwa.

“What are you doing here?”, you asked a little agressively.

“San invited me.”, he answered. “Come on, let’s talk.”

You followed the tall boy to the kitchen; or more like got dragged. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and proposed one to you; you refused. “Whiskey? Really? Since when do you drink?”. He didn’t answer. He was once part of your ‘we don’t need alcohol to have fun’ group –more like a duo-, but it was from the past apparently. “A lot of other things changed too.”, you whispered.

You missed him. You were very close to him for a really long time now, even before meeting your boyfriend. But somehow, he drastically distanced himself, to the point where you haven’t seen him for eight to nine months.

“So how have you been?”, he asked, trying to change subject.

“Funny question coming from you. You’re the one who practically disappeared for a year.”. You were about to leave him there but he stopped you again.

“Y/N, please let me explain myself.”, he pleaded, still a strong grip on your arm.

“What could really be the reason of your disappearance? For a whole damn year, Seonghwa.”, you asked rolling your eyes, quickly getting exasperated.

“I can’t tell you why but.. you just need to know that, if it was up to me, I wouldn’t have.”

You frowned, “what do you mean Seonghwa?”

“You will know soon, don’t wo-”

“Y/N! I’ve been looking for you!”, San exclaimed, cutting his friend’s sentence. “Come on, let’s dance!”

What the hell was going on?

“Where were you? Upstairs?”, you asked after San pushed you to the living room.

“Yeah, just went to the bathroom.” Lie. You knew your boyfriend long enough to know that he wasn’t telling the truth.

“What’s going on San, what’s Seonghwa doing here?”, the main room was packed with sweaty and drunk youngsters, some were dancing in the middle, others were chilling with a beverage.

“I thought people deserved second chances.” You were even more confused. You took a step back from your boyfriend, his arms initially around your waist, slid to your hips. Frowning, you stared at San’s eyes, trying to decipher him.

This night seemed so long, and you were completely lost.

He pressing a sloppy kiss to your lips, and continued sensually, “Come on, let’s keep dancing. Did I tell you how incredibly pretty you look tonight?”

The next morning, you woke up with a strong headache; you still managed to find yourself in this kind of state, without even a drop of alcohol. “The music must have been too loud.”, you thought. After blinking a few times, trying to adjust to the lightning –might have forgot to close the curtains-, you inspected your surrounding. You were in your boyfriend’s bed –it was way to comfortable to be yours-, but no sign of his presence. Last night was a big blur.

“Don’t speak too loud, she might hear!”, San whisper-shouted, getting your attention. The house seemed pretty empty and quiet; his voice echoing through it, reaching you easily.

“Don’t worry, with the strength of the drug I gave her, she’ll be knocked out for a few more hours.”, a man whose voice you didn’t recognized answered.

What drug? Who was downstairs? Hongjoong?

“What do you mean drug? What the fuck have you done! I told you not to touch her. I swear, if some-”. San sounded furious.

“You were the one who didn’t want to tell her! She didn’t hear much but she was about to, and even deeper stuff, you know what would have been left to do if it did happen.” You didn’t hear any answer from San, only a deep sigh.

You decided to slowly go downstairs, but as you always say to your boyfriend, you’re not lucky; the third step from the floor squeaked under your weight. You mentally swore to your boyfriend’s parents for having such an old place as home.

“Y/N!”, San exclaimed, “You’re awake? How are you?”, your concerned boyfriend bombarded you with questions.

“I’m good.” Your answer was short, your head still pounding. There was no doubt about your eavesdropping as you looked around the room, peering everyone. Although, no one knew how much you heard or the meaning of the conversation.

“I want to go home San.”

“I- Y- Okay, I’ll drop you off.”, he answered, defeated.

You didn’t know what was going on, but, the only thing you wanted right now was some meds and a good nap.

The drive home was silent. San knew you heard their talking, but he didn’t know how much you did, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask you. Arriving to your house, he pulled up on the parking place. He was leaning to give you a kiss when you turn your head to the door, his lips landing on your cheek. “I need to rest San; it was a long night.” Without letting him answer, you quickly got out of the car not saying another word.

“You’re back, love? How was it?”, your mom was in kitchen, probably cooking lunch. Your dog came to you, rubbing himself to your legs, wanting some of your attention.

“Great.”, you answered shortly, petting your blue-eyed husky. “How are you Loki, all good?”, your dog barked giving you his positive answer.

Taking off your heels, you followed your mom’s delicious food’s smell to the kitchen, where she welcomed you with a warm smile. “You look exhausted. I’m almost done with lunch, go take a shower, let’s eat and take a nap.”. That suggestion was the best thing you heard today.

“Where’s dad?”, you asked taking a bite of the dish your mom was cooking.

“He went to work earlier than usual this morning. He’s very busy nowadays.”, your mom answered, pushing your sneaky hand away from the food.

The small nap you wanted to take turned into a full day sleep - outside pitch dark; and you still felt tired at your awakening. You had to sit down on your bed for several minutes to get back to your normal self. You looked at your phone for the time and got taken back when seeing a missed call from a good friend of yours, Hansol. He used to go to the arts university across your law school but moved across the country last year. You were about to call him back; you didn’t really had the chance to talk with him since then; when some noise downstairs caught your attention. Like earlier, you went down silently, trying to hear the conversation. It was sin day apparently.

“What do you mean, you have to repay them? Repay who? What for? What did you do?”, you recognized your mother’s panicked voice.

“I needed money back in the time, you know, for the business.”

“I thought Hyunggu gave it to you, that’s what you told me!”, your mom whispered, probably trying to not wake you up. Your dad was apparently owing some money. You heard about the loan, but like your mom, you thought it was from your father’s friend.

“Who is them?”, your mother anxiously asked the main question, afraid of her husband’s answer.

“They’re not really the nicest persons…”

“I can’t believe it, how did you?”, your mother gasped, taking deep breathes, probably trying to calm herself. “How bad are they?”, she continued. “Wait, don’t answer, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to hear it right now.”

“I don’t know, I was desperate.”, he paused, “I’m truly sorry. Really. I would have know.”, his voice shook, “I truly don’t know what to do anymore. We don’t have any time left.”

Today wasn’t your lucky day –or it was just a message from above telling you that eavesdropping wasn’t good- because your phone rang just after your father last sentence. You quickly looked at your screen –San-, put your phone on silence, and went to the kitchen, where your parents were.

“Are you hungry, love? You didn’t eat anything today.”, you mother spoke awkwardly, changing the subject. Her attempt to look normal was painful.

“I made your favorite.”, she forced a smile on her face.

“I’ll take some.”, you answered. “Hi dad, how was work today?” You sat down cross-legged on the chair in front of your dad.

“Tiring like always, but good.”, your father avoided your gaze, sipping his late night tea –he needed it to sleep well, probably even more nowadays.

“There you go, honey.”, your mother placed your plate in front of you. The rest of the dinner went on like ‘normal’, your mother tried small talks with you.

You father owned a small restaurant not too far from the university you go, the business working pretty well as students go there after school ends. Several years ago, you almost went bankrupt as your restaurant caught fire, burning more that 80% of the construction. The insurance, not paying much, and your family, not owning much more money, your father almost had to drop everything. But thanks to his friend, Hyunggu, you managed to rebuild everything. Well, apparently, according to the conversation before, it wasn’t his friend that lend him the money.

You lied down on your bed as you thought deeply about the many questions. Those past two days has been long. Very long. Your heard too many things, but nothing concrete, everything was ambiguous. You still had no idea how you ended up in your boyfriend’s bed this morning, especially in that condition. And now with your parents.

You always had a simple and mundane life and this was too much for you. All you had to care about –till now- was just basic teenager things; health, parents, dog, boyfriend, school. The things that happened to you since last night were above your ability. It was just too much to think about.

Your phone rang yet again, pulling you out of your thoughts. San. You sighed and picked it up, “Hey.”

“Hey, everything alright? I called you all day.”, San’s voice was hushed, as if he was trying to not be heard.

“Yeah, I just took a long nap, wasn’t feeling good.”

“Can I come to see you?”, he tried to asked, voice quiet.

“I’m really tired San, and I have school tomorrow.” It wasn’t really a lie, but you only had an hour long course at the beginning of the afternoon.

“I have to see you.”, he halted, “I need to see you. Please.” He sounded so desperate, it wasn’t like him.

You thought a second; he didn’t seem to be in his normal state and it was starting to concern you. “I’ll wait. Be quick.”

He signed in relief, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

You went downstairs, being careful not to make much noise as your father went to sleep a little before. “Mom, San’s passing by, I’ll wait for him outside.”, you announced before going out. Your mother was in the kitchen, taking some of her meds. She was getting ready to go to bed as well. It was around 11pm and the sun was already down for a little while now, the hot weather replaced by a cool breeze.

San arrived only a couple of minutes after. He looked slumped, and exhausted. “I love you.”, he whispered sliding his arms around you forcefully. Your position was quite awkward as your arms were along your body, and his tightly around you. He gently kissed your neck, breaking your previous façade.

“What’s wrong San-ie? What’s going on?”, you tried. He only hugged you tighter; if it was even possible. Soft sobs and shaking put you in an alarming state. “San, look at me.”, you gently pushed him, trying to make eye contact with him. “What the hell is going on? Tell me.”

“I can’t, I can’t.”, his eyes were also avoiding your gaze.

“San, please.”, you begged, placing your right hand on his cheek and forcing him to look at you.

“Not now, Y/N. I can’t, ju- just wait. Please.”, San only pleaded with teary eyes. “I’m going to explain everything to you, but please, just wait a little. I promise you. It’s going to be alright.” He cupped your face and pulled you in a messy kiss.

“Give me some time, hmm?”, he hummed sorely after pulling away.

You gave him an imploring look, “I trust you.”. It was your turn to cup his face and kiss him.

“I love you, don’t doubt that.”

The situation you were in was even more ambiguous now. Something was wrong for sure, but you trusted your boyfriend. You had to. You’ll have to tame your curious side and wait for his explanation. It couldn’t be anything too bad, right?

San left quickly after your emotional meeting, but not without a last kiss.

I 2 I

#ateez #ateez scenario #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez mafia!au #painful revenge #ateez san #choi san #mafia!au #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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deez-no-relation · 5 years

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Vibrator anon here - good morning beautiful! I was just reading plus size anon and your reply. I think the same as you that Michael would be up for most things if given the right opportunity (which is hard for celebs) . I've previously gone out with guys who I definitely wasn't their type on paper and vice versa but we just physically clicked. If given the opportunity for no strings attached shag, most guys wil be up for it. They can mentally separate sex from relationships 💋

“If given the opportunity for no strings attached shag, most guys wil be up for it. They can mentally separate sex from relationships” - Yes, I have found this to be true as well - to a point. People in an on-going sexual relationship will find themselves emotionally entangled regardless of their gender, and I think all people will sometimes tell themselves “it’s just sex” - and women are more likely to be wrong about that, haha.

But yeah. Even men who are not attracted to large girls seem to have a broader idea of what’s attractive than a lot of women think they do - very few men seem to consider a woman who is an american size ten too big, for example, although every woman who wears a size ten seems to feel that she needs to lose weight (thank you society). Only casting directors and people who run thinspo blogs seem to think that being an american size 4 or smaller is necessary.

#size discourse #michael sheen tea #Anon

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phanfictioncatalogue · 6 years

Text

Monthly Follower Recs!

Links Last Checked: September 14th, 2022

Follower recs of May 2018

Anonymous

Anchor (ao3) - bluebones

Summary: Dan starts getting bruises, and nosebleeds, and a peculiar fever. Cue the news that Phil feels should end the world – Dan is seriously ill, and needs urgent treatment. Their entangled lives grind to a halt while the rest of the world marches on, and Phil struggles to accept that it will continue to do so, with or without Dan.

Bluebird (ao3) - lvckyphan

Summary: An unlikely tale of odd affection and baffling fondness between a pair of outcasts in a ramshackle orphanage comes to be plagued by tragedy when they move away to the green idleness of Scotland. Six years scuttle by, and all that was promised to remain simple is replaced by the ugly misfortune of dirty secrets, traumatic yesterdays and Phil Lester’s forbidden feelings for Dan Howell.

Can't you see i'm falling apart, love (want to fall together?) (ao3) - AmbroseRivers

Summary: There are five stages of grief but no one told Phil Lester that you cycle through them until they wear you down to the point where you have to smile for an invisible camera but when a Youtuber stumbles into his one-man act... can he finally let that persona drop?

Celebration (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: FBI agents Dan and Phil get assigned a case involving a Florida town where people are going missing.

Chills - huphilpuffs

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a polar bear plunge.

Don't you feel it? (ao3) - Chillkroete

Summary: Dan got invited to a get together only knowing the hostess, his friend Louise. He was nervous and felt awkward amongst the older guests. But who would’ve thought that all it took to break the ice were bikes and some loud reggaeton?

Give Me A Try (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Dan, a bartender at 'Habenero', Brighton's hottest gay club, has been obsessed with AmazingPhil, the openly gay Instagram model for a long time. In all the fantasy meet-cute scenarios Dan has imagined for he and his semi-celeb crush, none of them involved him being at work, being soaked in various liquids, or being halfway through a Saturday night hell-shift. Sometimes, life doesn't wait around for your plans.

In My Way (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase

Summary: Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big.

Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much.

Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.

just once to be lifted strong (ao3) - The_Blonde

Summary: "Maybe it is random. Maybe the lynx was just the next one waiting in line for its human and that human had happened to be Dan, awkwardly manoeuvring his way around the outskirts of situations while it prowled at his side. Or maybe it represented some inner part of Dan, golden and glowing, hidden somewhere amongst all the shadows, something that he could get to if he actually looked. Dan’s more inclined to go with the first one (though he’d considered the second one numerous times. It just wasn’t possible)."

Or: Dan is a boy with a missing anima. He finds a Phil instead.

Late Night Coffee Runs (Are Best Done With You) (ao3) - Phanwich

Summary: That one really long fic with coffee and shopping cart incidents and fluff.

Learning to Love, (Again) (ao3) - wekingsandprettythings

Summary: Dan was made a single Dad when he was just 16. Nearly 11 year later, after putting his love life on hold, he meets another single and super hot dad. Somehow a sleepover for their kids leads to something neither of them expected.

Love Yourself (ao3) - notinclinedtomaturity

Summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut.

Six Ravens (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan meets Prince Philip at a cyberbullying campaign, but what starts as a working relationship grows complicated when Dan realizes he’s falling for the prince and maybe, just maybe, he’s not alone in his feelings.

Slow-Closing Doors (ao3) - knlalla

Summary: SECRETS, DRAMA, BETRAYAL (okay no betrayal dw).

Phil's agreed to be an RA for his floor this year at uni, and he's determined to be the best RA ever - after all, this is these students' first year, he wants them to have the best year ever.

Strangers (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he's all alone -- until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can't exactly not return it, can he?

The Boy and The Girls Are In, I Mess Around With Him (ao3) - wekingsandprettythings

Summary: Dan’s always been a bit of a slut and Phil’s always wanted to fuck Dan. When Dan finds out Phil also likes boys, he takes him to a gay bar to find someone to take him home, only it doesn’t quite end up the way they thought it would. Song fic from Harry Styles’ Medicine.

The Stranger In The Woods - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan is on his way to his friends house when a storm hits and he gets lost in the middle of the woods where there’s clearly no one around and no way for him to get help. At least, that’s what he thinks until he sees a cabin with lights on inside. Dan had been in a hurry before but after meeting the stranger who lives in the cabin, he might like to stay a bit longer.

Too Tense to Be Undone - auroraphilealis

Summary: Dan’s never had an orgasm before. Despite being in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend for three years, he’s just never been able to finish. The doctor’s don’t know what’s wrong with him, so Dan’s mostly put it out of his mind. Until his gap year, when he starts talking with AmazingPhil, and accidentally admits that he’s never come before. Phil’s happy to help with more than just convincing Dan to post YouTube videos, if Dan will just give him the chance.

Trust Me, I’m Broken Too (ao3) - natigail

Summary: The Lesters – the royal family of his homeland – was nothing like Dan thought they would be. Well, the King was just as horrible as he had heard but the King’s brother’s son, who was third in line for the throne, was nothing like Dan thought he’d be. Dan had been adrift for three years going from one “place of employment” to another, only his life was seen as worthless and he was more property than an employee. He had never imagined he’s end up as the property of Prince Philip.

Where's Mine? (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: During a live show, Dan and Phil discuss the Disney World disaster that was their most recent holiday with their kids.

@elisethephangirl

A Hundred People (Who Will Listen to You Cry) (ao3) - phananddragonsfics

Summary: Winston Daniel Lester has the greatest family in the world, despite it not being a particularly “normal”, by societal standards at least, family. One of these aspects unintentionally turns negative inside Winnie’s mind, and because of his constant thinking about it, he suffers a major injury during one of his major football games when he loses his focus on the game. Now Winnie has to deal with the consequences – both with his injury and with his family.

@pinkdonut4

Phoenix Down (ao3) - ColdPorridge22

Summary: Phil does something heroic, but gets gravely injured. Dan gets a profound lesson in taking people for granted as he is faced with possibly losing Phil forever. On the long road to recovery they struggle to keep their feelings to themselves, because they’re both absolutely sure the other doesn’t feel the same way. But that might hurt more than it helps…

@socially-awkward-trashcan

PROTEA. FLOWER OF CHANGE (ao3) - creativityatbest

Summary: There is courage in actions, but courage comes in the form of words too. dan howell is about to experience this for herself as she enters a new phase of her life, and discovers the name she’s been searching for ever since she realized she was trans. phil lesters words are different, they are splayed across his wrist, tying him to a name dan’s spent years searching for.

@tobieallison

Flares (ao3) - huphilpuffs

Summary: Dan's body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he's long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn't the way to make himself happy.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #recs #followerrecs

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yourchumchumblr · 6 years

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OUR 2017 in a Nutshell!

12 months, 12 pictures of us! It was really hard picking only several photos when you have tons of pictures to choose (to be precised, 50+ albums of events), so I secretly spent my night (yesterday) choosing which one should I pick and so far, I think this was the best photos to represent my blog post for this one.

It’s been a year since I last touched my tumblr and a lot of setbacks happened this year which prevented me to create new posts but today (though it’s late) I decided to end my year with an optimistic post which will focus on us, especially on you. To start off the intro, we started our year in a not-so-good events (which was the worst part lol) but it didn’t stop us to look forward and hoped for things to get better. This is the year where we, or I, hoped that this happiness, excitement won’t stop anymore and there are times when I wished that sadness, anxiety, grief shouldn’t had exist, begged to get this over with as much as possible. This is a year where happiness is there, sadness is its back. BUT, He is always faithful and caring, He is gracious, his blessing is abundant and his comfort is reassuring. I’ve learned to love more, more unconditionally; to give more praise when it seemed unhappy. I gave not because I want to/or not but because He deserved it. Rather than hatred, lets pour out the love to each other, so here’s my 12 best months I had with you this year:

1. My tsundere and pabebe partner! Hayo~ still remember our first selfie this year? it’s Jan. 22! and terno pa tayo ng color hihi. I couldn’t get over that time, you know pero hindi ko matiis na magkaron TAYO ng 1st picture kaya ayan, I let you have a selfie with me. You looked so cute and irresistible when you make that face of pabebe and begging “bati na tayo, Chummy” ughh. This was also the time na you’re asking na ilibre kita sa Pares but instead, I brought you to Kenny Rogers to fetch that stomach of yours and you looked like a happy kid and surprised yet satisfied. You deserved it, baby KO. 💕

2. My Couple-shirt buddy! also, my Feb-ibig partner! - You’re my one and only favorite company mapa-birthday ko, Valentines days, songleading and kung anong event man especially yung #WorldPizzaDay 🍕💕 hihi. Perhaps, one of my favorite and best months I had with you! Might as well the ‘most expensive month” kasi andami NATIN gastos but it’s all worth it! Hm. Thank you so much for the unbelievable efforts~ you had me there on my special day, hindi man naging okay yung 1st attempt mo, but you never gave up to make me happy. Kinilig ako dun. And syempre comeback is real, I’ve had return that kilig twice on hearts day hmpf. That was the first time I gave a bouguet to someone, and I loved that reaction of yours when I gave it to you. Hays. I loved making you happy lalo na kapag kinikilig ka sa efforts ko. I really treasure all of your efforts and kung anuman mga binibigay mo sakin. I just love your smiles and the way you’re staring at me.

3. My food buddy! 🍴 🍨 🍩 🍱 🍔 🍝 💕 This is the undenying truth! We became more into food this year! I’d hope naka-gain ka this year😅 syempre, I’m proud na nagkalaman na si baby ko! Yieee~ may bilbil na siya nang konti. WE started to explore and eat more food than ever! Ang cute kasi we’re doing ‘give and take’, there are times that the meal is on you and times that the treat is mine. I’m starting to miss the times when we’re making homemade food, mapa-snacks or sweets! Mas na-turnon ako sayo this year kasi you’ve been doing great at culinary, you know, you can even make cakes already.. compare it to when I met you, you don’t even know how to fry properly. 😂 Thank you for being my food buddy and thank you for making me my favorite cake! I really appreciated it. I also really love these Sundays of March especially when we had the opportunity to listen to Miriam’s testimony.

4. My travel buddy! 💕 It’s more fun to explore places when you have someone you could dragged with, you know me, I’d rather stay and watch anime if I’m just alone. It’s just overwhelming when you passed your term and have planned agendas.. nothing beats ‘study then landi after’ 😉(you know what I mean eherm eherm..) Yung feeling na indoor muna tapos outdoor na~ Despite of not getting too much gala with you this year, I’m still glad and grateful (given the circumstances and opportunity) na we had these rare chances to travel alone. Hindi man ganun kalayo, pero as long as na ikaw kasama ko, super okay na ko. I wanna highlight our Tagaytay trip! There’s so much photos of us, ranging from kulitan sa byahe - to the places we went to - until to dinner, to the point that I wanna post it all but of course, I’d rather keep it private, especially your gorgeous and eye-melting photos hmpf. And as travel buddy, baby, it’s my job to teach you good angle and lighting and what do you/we want to portray on the photos that we’re taking. Afterall, we want the best moment to be perfectly captured and treasure it as a memory. So yun, I’m sorry if there are times that I scolded you for your bad shots, I just want you to learn. So ayun, looking forward for more gala this 2018!

5. My kakulitan buddy/partner in crime! And My ‘Kalandian’ 😉 Ugh ansarap-sarap asarin nitong babaeng ‘to. 😅 tapos kapag na-pissoff, dadaanin ko sa lambing. hihi. Ang cute cute niya kahit matangkad at stick siya jk! There’s a ton of photos to choose of and photos where it’s too cute and exclusive to upload kaya sinarili ko nalang (because I’m a selfish Chummy). I really love this young lady especially when you combined our sense of humor, it will be nothing but endless laughter, korni jokes and tons of fun. 💕 Na-inspired tuloy ako! And syempre hindi mawawala yung mga times na badass kaming dalawa hihi. Ehem. This is the time where I wished na sana ganito nalang parati but it couldn’t be, may oras talaga na malungkot and down ka pero the best part is, we’re here for each other.. kahit na hindi parati. Whenever she’s down or depressed, I tried to prioritize her as much as possible to cheer her up kasi naman, ganda ganda tapos nakasimangot, kaya Chummy to the rescue si acoe (me). Maybe that’s one thing I could do for her even though my thoughts sometimes lurked around and make me realized na it’s unfair for my side. I don’t know.. I don’t know how I went through.. those painful moments I’ve gone through.. that I shared alone, that she wasn’t able to be there for me when I needed her. I’m just grateful that He never leave me and I still continued life. Despite of whatever I went through, I’ll still be your Chumchum. 😊

6. My Ootd buddy! And yea, it’s her birth month! I really wanted to make this month extra special to her. From our kimonos - to black outfit - to stripes outfit! Gusto ko same kami ng suot ihh. 💕 Nakakabitin yung Aikido training namin since we had a short termbreak (especially me), plus the messups that we had midway. It really shortened our moments but hey, we’re able to pull it off! Meron kaming signature pose sa Angelus ulit and we’ve been consistent for 4 yrs! And yea, looking forward this coming summer (but I realized it’s my thesis na huhu but for sake of landi. XD kakayanin). This is also the month where I had a hard time thinking of what to do, what should I give, etc., for her birthday (syempre girlfriend ko may kaarawan eh dapat Bida at da best si boyfie). BUT I’m glad that she had more than enough fun on her special day since we had fights before the day. And why wouldn’t she be unsatisfied, after her actual 19th birthday celebration, may post-celeb pa but this time, it’s only the two of us! Ayun, we had.. 💕 so much kiligs and wonderful time since we had our private moment ugh asdfghjkl first then we went to her birthday wish, to Dog cafe where she got so fascinated of. And it doesn’t end there! We watched Transformers: The Last Knight! Yeeeeeeey! and at the same time, I bought her a gift the day went to date. Hm. I couldn’t choose between photos in this month due to a lot of wonderful events that occupied your birth month, so I chose that photo of us.. I wanna tell them that you’re MINE, and inaangkin kita dyan hihi.

7. My Selfie Buddy! Of course! Our day (most of it) won’t end without selfies! There are times when I was so hooked up on you, to the point na “ikaw lang, sapat na” na feeling in terms of narrowing my vision kasi you’re entangling my sight too much, that I really felt enough. 😵 Same goes to whenever we and the others were taking pictures, my times na gusto ko rin magpa-picture sa iba kong friends (mga girls) but then I remembered you, that I should be fair with you and hindi naman big deal, kasi gusto ko rin na as much as possible ako LANG kasama sa pictures (syempre exempted mga girl friends mo). I realized that I can be that clingy and I felt so much affection being with you. But then, I also realized that too much wouldn’t be good for me, for us. This was also the time that you kept on leaving me behind and I thought of myself if I wasn’t that enough.. enough for you. The month of July implied a warning on me but I still chose to keep going and gave a push once more.

8. My Ministry Partner! 😇 💕 Ughh. Kinikilig ako kapag nakakapag-worship and serve TAYO together! Back then, I was just thinking that it would be that great if meron nga and poof! I met you, and didn’t expect na we’ll be serving Him together. That’s one of best feeling I ever had. I always thank the Lord that I was able to invite you in our church and became a part of it!

9. Ms. Clingy~

10.

11.

12.

PART 1.5

There’s 3 more remaining, any ideas of what kind of buddy you are? 😉

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bienready2122 · 4 years

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Gift Suite - Marketing Celebrity Pictures From a Gifting Suite

At the point when you need your item or administration to pick up mindfulness with the overall population there is no preferable way to open intrigue over relationship with famous people. Regardless of whether it be famous actors, competitors, TV characters or business magnates there is no technique more demonstrated to work than big name item position.

There is a science to superstar item situation. Arranging is basic. Knowing your definitive objectives before you go into this industry is basic. Right now we will survey your promoting objectives and how to successfully utilize your cash to pick up the greatest presentation while staying away from the regular entanglements experienced by numerous organizations mycelebritybio.com Basically expressed, you will probably construct relationship between your organization's item/administration and famous people. To do this you have a few stages which must be executed appropriately. The first is to acquire pictures of famous people with your item or with your logo. Numerous new organizations need an image of the big name holding the item. Nonetheless, many experienced organizations have discovered that items and bundling change regularly. This could without much of a stretch render your big name photographs obsolete. The perfect VIP photograph is the big name on an honorary pathway remaining before a media divider with your logo. On the off chance that you are generally excellent at your specific employment you will get every big name remaining beside just your logo and not logos from many different organizations.

So how would you get these photos? The best alternative is through an expert superstar gifting administration. Gifting administrations will welcome VIPs to private areas to get items from twenty to forty organizations. There are a few organizations which hold major gifting suites during the Oscars, Grammys, Emmys and other honor appears, however the vast majority of them don't draw noteworthy A-rundown ability. The normal gifting suite will draw two famous people despite the fact that the site and special material will guarantee ten, twenty or thirty big names will be welcomed, few ever appear. The other warning is to take a gander at the media divider from these gifting organizations past occasions. Do you see a celeb remaining before many logos? Assuming this is the case, it is ideal to keep away from that organization since they may have some celebs, however they don't offer you the one thing you need - Celebrity photographs with just your logo!

When you locate a decent gifting administration organization you will have the establishment of your advertising objectives. However, simply getting pictures is a little piece of your advertising objectives. Presently you have to get the general population to see those photos. Start by realizing the distinction among publicizing and press. You can't utilize those big name pictures for publicizing, you can utilize them for press. On the off chance that you send them to a magazine or paper you won't have an issue. In the event that you put them on your organization site in a territory that is identified with news you won't have an issue. Don't, under any conditions print those photos of your item bundling or in-store shows as that is publicizing and you will require a marked legitimate discharge from the VIP. To play it safe ensure your legal advisor offers you guidance on the distinction among press and promoting.

Numerous organizations have encountered extraordinary accomplishment in getting their big name photographs into magazines. The way in to this is timing. You should accomplish some work and know when a superstar has another network show or film being discharged. Take that date and plan to make a move in any event 30 days ahead of time. Send your photos to all the magazines, papers and sites conceivable and let the editors think about the big name and their up and coming show. The show will make the news and you will get the image. Continue chipping away at this methodology and at some point or another you will have some achievement. When you get distributed you may have arrived at all of your exposure objectives.

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truthandlove · 5 years

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You are the Swamp

The Bible is always proven right and fools mock it because they hate the author - the Author of Life:

"When the righteous are in authority and become great, the people rejoice; But when the wicked man rules, the people groan and sigh." - Provebs 29:2

"Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin condemns any people." - Proverbs 14:34

The sin a nation tolerates is the sin that destroys it. We've allowed debauchery to fill television and then pretend we don't know why kids are comitting more serious sexual and violent crimes. We treat our own babies as disposable! We exalt materialism and then pretend to not know why so many leaders are guilty of corruption. We treat people as disposable, spouses as disposable, relationships as disposable. We treat people at the safe distance of online and those serving us, like cashiers, as OK to dump our stress on and go off emotionally on. We are abusers pretending it is all justified. We are damn hypocrites.

We PRETEND to be against the deep state, but then proceed to entangle our lives with it in hundreds of ways, participating in its medicine and 'healthcare', its military industrial complex contracts, in big pharmacy, in big tobacco, in big OIL, in big porn, its drug narcotics industry, call that harmless fun, its education/indoctrination systems, in its industry of fake religion. We learn our bank LAUNDERS millions and millions for the globalist oligarchs, CIA drugs and STILL BANK THERE. In these and millions of other ways, we conveniently imagine are very small things, we are not the hands and feet of Jesus - His bodily expression on Earth; rather we are the complicit enablers of Satan's every agenda. We run to do every convenient thing Satan suggests! We have become the hands and feet of Satan - expressing his values through our actions.

We demonstrate with our lives that we LOVE sin - in thousands of big and small ways. We prove we love corruption. We pretend to be shocked and outraged when politicians have extramarital affairs or are caught skimming money or inside trading... whe the average American is FRANTICALLY WORKING HARD to do all the same things, just at the much smaller scales within their reach, but the greedy heart IS THE SAME. The lust IS THE SAME. The fake compassion IS THE SAME. The public posturing IS THE SAME. The phony respectability in church on Sunday IS THE SAME as the political posturing and strutting we read about in the daily news.

The wicked heart is actually the SAME in them and us; we just can't cheat on the same SCALE as our exalted leaders, but we APE their same drives and desires in countless ways, while pretending we condemn them when they get caught. We LOVE to displace and project our own wicked hearts onto them, because it helps us point the finger of hypocrisy and avoid our inner godlessness and lovelessness -- our enshrined and fiercely-protected distrust of Father God to provide for and love us -- being too busy diving in deep to the Vanity Fair of America Babylon.

We Americans are the "everyday hypocrites", the "run of the mill corrupt". We love to pretend to be against the things we are actually FOR. American culture is one big LIE. We love to pretend that GOD FAVORS US, when our lives are filled with breaking His very instructions. Worse, we pretend that WE LOVE GOD, while worshipping money, convenience, status, and our "Live for #1 culture". WHY do we engage in everyday blasphemy by calling God "Lord" when an objective analysis of how we spend our time clearly reveals we have no actual interest in doing what He says? In prioritizing what He values most? The problem is that actually following God requires something repugnant to us -- unselfishness. We love to think about ourselves and use our God-given minds to calculate how to best feather our nests, our temporary sandcastles -- packing them to the brim with creature comforts. So on judgement day when the records are opened, our lives reveal we actually lived with a satanic agenda - pampering ourselves - while our Lord was out in the streeets, weeping at how we treat each other. While heaven weeps that they cannot get into our churches because the self-righteous smug assurances have so filled every molecule of the church building that there is no room for the culture of heaven to get in sideways!

We have tolerated the sin of living for ourselves, when our Lord clearly told us to die to self. But that would require ACTUALLY TRUSTING God, and we live with a fierce independence that fights love right out of our lives everywhere we might encounter it - refusing to truly trust and thus truly die... to truly live. Thus, we choose death every day. We kill off love and relatedness; we kill off compassion. We choose godlessness, because our actions vote for it again and again throughout each day.

Americans live as ENEMIES of the Gospel. We will be numbered with the hypoctites who did their utmost to engineer the death of Jesus, the Pharisees in their eternal morality and internal lovelessness, who actually said "crucify him" while doing so in the name of following the Roman State as good little citizens. Heaven sees that our lives, just like theirs, are screaming "we have no king but Caesar!" We want to "win" IN THIS LIFE, taking the age-old bait of Satan, and want nothing to do with the actual "King of the Jews." He's far too shabby for polite society! And thus our hearts, just like those of the Pharisees, crucify the King of Glory through our practical satanism, daily.

Follow any given day in an American's life and see how many times their actions are motivated by "getting ahead", gaining an unfair advantage, selfish ambition, obtaining some status or perk, living to look good in the eyes of other humans we don't even actually respect or love. We are thus rabid worshippers of Satan, folling HIS self-justified and envious heart to the TEE, and calling it "normal"! Calling every relief-seeking sin, "warranted" given the stress or inner pain we experience. And we are so full of bullshit that we complain when our hired prosecutors do not actually condemn public injustice -- when our lives are screaming in millions of ways every single day that we actually ADORE injustice?

The fact is we CANNOT purge our leaders of sin or truly, follow through to condemn them, when we are envious of their lavish lifestyles, celeb status, or simply ape their lusts. We cannot divorce the sin we ourselves are sleeping with! The stream of corruption extends from the elites down through the workaday selfish American, the same godless mindset, committing similar hypocrisy and crimes against God, at the maximum, though smaller, scale our own limited social status permits. We will never truly "drain the swamp" when we are actually ACTIVELY STRIVING to be part of it -- to play our selfish roles within its systems.

All the while, Jesus Himself is busy healing hearts, giving of Himself with compassion, being shamefully humble, being outrageously unselfish, getting kicked out of churches for looking too much like a homeless person... and so forth. God is TOO MEEK to exist within American PRIDE. The stench has become too much. America loves compromise. America loves greed. America loves to insulate itself from every discomfort. America loves corruption and idolizes it in millions of ways, calling it "going along to get along", "playing ball", or "looking the other way", or simply "getting ahead."

Thus God will GRANT America the ACTUAL desires of its heart, not its sanitized desires meant for public display, but the desires and values our actions demonstrate we truly idolize -- Godlessness, rabid self-consumption and callous destruction. You asked for it; you got it. - by Marcus 2017

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booksbroadwaybbc · 6 years

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5 Ways to Build Your Mental Toughness via /r/selfimprovement

5 Ways to Build Your Mental Toughness

1. Start with Small Discomforts

If you aren’t currently mentally tough then trying to take on too much at once will force you to fall back into your old habits and abandon all hope of becoming a Navy SEAL like badass.

So before you go taking 20 minute ice baths, training like the Rock, or working all day long, start small.

Even little things can help you build your mental strength.

Something as small as doing 15 pushups every morning and adding one more pushup every day that you wake up is a great way to get started.

Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Sit in the car without the AC or heating on.

Make your bed every morning. Clean your home or apartment before you go to sleep for the night.

Start your morning with a 10 minute walk outside instead of checking Facebook and Instagram.

Make a list of 15–20 small things that you can do throughout the week and then commit to doing one of them every day for the next 30 days. This will provide you with a foundation for mental toughness that will last you a life- time.

2. Embrace the Extremes

The two best ways to build mental toughness are extreme heat and extreme cold.

Namely, Saunas and cold showers.

Neither of these activities will kill you (unless you have some crazy health condition) but they suck… And they suck hard.

Which is why they’re the perfect way to boost your mental toughness.

Saunas have been shown to have a countless number of benefits for your body from slower aging to improved synthesis of muscle and HGH to clearer complexion.

Starting with a 15-minute sauna session every day if you have access to one is a great way to build your mental toughness.

On the other side of the spectrum, cold showers (the health benefits of which have been wildly overstated) are a great way to build your mental toughness every morning.

Start out with 60 seconds of cold water before switching it to hot and work your way up until you can take a 7– 10-minute shower without turning the knob to hot.

Do these two things for 30 days and your mental strength will double, I promise.

3. Meditate

I know it might seem weird, but one of the best ways to boost your mental toughness is to meditate.

Sitting down and thinking about nothing other than your breath is way harder than you might imagine and the temptation to quit a session early, peak at the clock, or drift off into a daydream about a romantic entanglement with your favorite celeb can feel overwhelming.

With just 10 minutes a day, this practice will not only help you boost your mental toughness, but it will actually build up your prefrontal cortex, make you smarter, more empathetic, improve your memory, and reduce systemic inflammation.

Not too bad for sitting down and shutting up, huh?

4. Take on a Big Challenge

The best way to build your mental toughness is to push yourself to do something you literally don’t believe you can do.

Whether it’s a marathon, Spartan Race, bench pressing 225 lbs. (or 315 for you stronger gents) or anything else, pick something that scares you shitless and commit to it.

Don’t do something so crazy that you’ll hurt yourself, but push yourself beyond what you believe you’re capable of and come out on the other side victorious.

The elation you’ll feel and the mental strength you’ll have cultivated will be incalculable.

5. Give Up Your Biggest Vices for a Month

Whether it’s TV, cigarettes, marijuana, porn, alcohol, or some other activity/substance, find the one thing that you know isn’t truly serving you that you LOVE and give it up for 30 days.

You don’t have to give it up for life, but taking a month to consciously abstain from something that you know isn’t accelerating your life is a great way to build your mental toughness and improve your general quality of life.

I’ve done this personally with video games, porn, alcohol, and social media and the benefits were tremendous.

When you’re done with this challenge, you will not only have a greater level of mental toughness, but you’ll be able to balance your vices in a healthier way that allows you to enjoy them without being controlled by them.

These are just a few of the many ways you can build your mental toughness.

I hope this helps.

Submitted September 19, 2018 at 01:23AM by 10xurlife via reddit https://ift.tt/2QGNjcP

#IFTTT #reddit

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weddingdressesbest-blog · 6 years

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Look Fabulous In A Black Strapless Dress

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Look Fabulous In A Black Strapless Dress

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lt-as-i-see-it-blog · 6 years

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Building Louis Tomlinson a long-term, sustainable career worth following and supporting

Coming from years of negative press and scandals (which went into high gear in Q4 of 2015 as 1D was going into hiatus) - -

Louis’ brand and press needed a massive reboot as he launched “Just Hold On”

Louis’ brand and press needed a massive reboot after the LAX incident (which generated so much negative tabloid press and mainstream press coverage, painting Louis in the worst light possible.)

Louis’ brand and press needed a massive reboot after the Ash London debacle (which created such a big backlash from the Australian music industry and press, and generated so many articles worldwide.)

Louis’ brand and press never got the reboot he sorely needed to anchor his launch as a solo artist, and to anchor any of his singles. Instead, he continues to be tabloid fodder while his music is being promoted. Additionally, his music promo is also deeply entwined with press focus on his personal life — it is never just about his music alone. His team uses his personal circumstances to promote his music every single time, like clockwork. There’s no bigger example of this (and how it was such a disservice to him and his single) than the recent “Miss You” release in which the song’s promo was centred about him missing the girl he loved while partying, instead of focusing on Louis’ new pop punk sound.

The problem is, nothing will change in the way Louis is marketed and promoted as long as he is with Syco and Simon Jones PR. Him being with James Grant Group doesn’t make a difference either, as they are entangled with Syco. He doesn’t get a new start or better treatment with any of these groups because they will always see him as the struggling 1D boy who was has all the stunts, and is better off with tabloid press. It’s not a coincidence that the 1D boy with worst press and promo, and a struggling solo career is the one stuck with the old players.

Best case in point - Liam’s new management team (Doyen) and PR team (Murray-Chalmers) have been able to launch him successfully into the mainstream despite whatever strings (stunts) that exist with Syco/Simon - they have been able to separate him from all of that. Louis, on the other hand, is deeply entrenched in it all — with all of the bullshit seemingly a condition for his solo career to exist.

@theyrereallyawful and @hazlouquitefinished have already written really good posts (here, here, here and here ) on why Simon Jones has failed Louis as his PR manager, and to recap, here all the things Louis is associated with/seen as and the impressions he is giving right now — and this is why Louis needs a massive reboot for his brand and press:

He currently has a very confused audience and positioning - with both his sound and his image not working. He tried EDM, pop and pop punk, with his album supposedly leaning towards the pop punk sound. With “Miss You” not performing well, this isn’t a good springboard to his album - WHICH IS WHY his team should have focused on introducing this sound for Louis and building his brand around it in the first place. But they didn’t, so now we have situation where Louis’ new sound looks unsuccessful — what happens to his album then?

His image has strong negative associations: He went from loved-up hermit to wild party boy and now to a laddy-lad northern England boy who is anti-hollywood, has gotten into scandals (LAX arrest, knocked up someone from a one night stand, etc.) chavvy, swears a lot and loves having beef on twitter. Additionally, he still hasn’t shaken off the image of being the worst 1D boy, “the one who can’t sing”, and worse, he's still referred to as homophobic, racist and a “rat” (insulting his look) to this day. Clearly, his team has a lot to work with, has a lot to address in creating a better image for Louis, and securing new fans and audiences for him.

Unfortunately, we have not seen a positive re-brand happen for Louis at all — not in any great measure. Sure, there have been good articles here and there, but they are far outweighed by the negatives ones.

So what needs to happen?

Louis needs a full PR and press campaign, a multi-faceted one that highlights his music, his personality (they need to make him likeable and loveable), and let’s admit it, his face and his style - because his beauty and the way he carries clothes is truly an asset that should be on billboards and magazines everywhere. This is 100% image-building, celebrity-making stuff. Dua Lipa and Camila had massive press campaigns, punctuated by great photo shoots. Liam, Zayn and Niall (now an actual signed model) had plenty of photo shoots and features as well. (Harry also did but in a more limited capacity, but with great names in the industry such as Harley Weir.) It truly worked to heighten their visibility and ubiquity. This will be helpful in raising awareness for Louis and building his brand. A beautifully shot billboard for Louis will stop traffic, 100%. Additionally, he’s been wearing the hottest street wear brands the past year or so, and he’s hasn’t been on any trend-setter list? He hasn’t gotten any fashion PR? (Meanwhile, Troye Sivan (I think he’s great, by the way) gets a Valentino streetwear campaign to launch his new single - incidentally, the items he wears in the campaign (red tracksuit, black trackpants/white shirt) are things we’ve seen Louis wear repeatedly! This is an example of what a good, brand-building multi-faceted campaign looks like - we’ve seen none of this for Louis.)

The most important part of this campaign is to build Louis’ cred as an artist: Show him in the studio - writing, recording and collaborating with top industry talent. Create buzz for his music by making his visible as a serious artist working with serious names in the industry — make sure to get their endorsement for Louis too. And please, let him hobnob with his peers and with industry execs. Industry relationships and networks serve to strengthen one’s standing in the industry — and Louis’ very public (and contrived) anti-hollywood, anti-celeb stance is not doing him any favours AT ALL. He looks like an angry outcast at this point who thinks he’s too good for the hollywood thing. Him criticizing the songwriters he wrote with Hollywood really just burn bridges as well- what new solo artist does that??

Additionally, get Louis OUT THERE - performing, doing interviews and getting creative bookings on shows he hasn’t done yet. He needs to stop being MIA and yanked out of promo, leaving his fandom to do the work to boost his singles. This makes him appear complacent, uninterested in promoting, and too reliant on his fandom, almost taking it for granted that his fandom will step in and hustle for him. It’s not a good look.

A good campaign like this will be great springboard for his next single and his album. This isn’t a one shot deal — elements of this would have to be executed over a 4 to 6 month period, at least. Remember, we’re addressing YEARS of negative press and some deeply entrenched images of Louis. But all of this will serve to sell him as an artist who has great singles, a fantastic album and a career to support for years to come -- THAT’s what a good campaign should aim to create for Louis - a sustainable music career worth following and supporting.

This fandom has discussed, over and over again, what needs to happen in order for Louis’ career to fare better, in order for him to be successful. I have extremely low confidence in his current team (Syco, JGG, and SJPR) and only hope that the new people he’s working with at Epic Records give him a chance, and view him with fresh eyes - seeing his potential as a solo artist and his true talent as a songwriter and performer. We’ve seen what Epic can do for people they support, and with their leadership seemingly supportive of Louis, here’s hoping that we get better people on Louis’ team and better promotion and opportunities for him.

Louis’ brand and press as it is right now is unsustainable - it doesn’t lead to growth and it doesn’t lead to breakthrough success - it truly needs a massive reboot to counteract all the negativity and focus on building Louis as a genuine solo artist and musician.

Will his team give him this chance in 2018?

____________________________________

All these of are my thoughts and opinions - which I am entitled to 100%.

#Louis Tomlinson #LTHQ #solo campaign #brand PR and press #@theyrereallyawful #@hazlouquitefinished

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