#Avis: [tries to look severe but ends up sticking her tongue out at him] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

void-botanist · 11 months

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It Blursday!! 🖤💜

WE’RE TAKING THE SQUADDIES TO EISENGARD!

You don’t have to fill all the roles, and they don’t all have to be from the same WIP, but who’s:

the Ring-bearer, entrusted with carrying the One Ring (bonus: funniest instance they use it to nope right out of reality)

the “Sam”, armed with a frying pan and a wizard of potatoes

Sean Bean, who dies in every movie — falls victim to their own hubris

totally crushing on Arwen and has a really cool sword

AND MY AXE

AND MY GLOCK BOW

Merry and Pippin the “package deal”, very concerned about missing second breakfast

the dude with a sick staff and a concerning amount of explosives, may or may not be an actual wizard

— @outpost51

you: You don’t have to fill all the roles, and they don’t all have to be from the same WIP me: personally, I think that is a lie. So I'm sending the AOM crew, which consists of:

Leon & Edith: human & bovan couple somewhere in their 60s or 70s (I haven't adjusted the Old Canon timeline back from when they were hundreds of years old. Either way Leon's hair is completely white). Adorable and weird about each other.

Horatio: L&E's adopted human son, Celia's adoptive brother. Also the florist Declan visits.

Celia: L&E's adopted ferasca daughter. Fat, purple, and down to clown.

Allison: Celia's shifter boyfriend. Six feet tall, hairy as heck, and pretty sure he should have stayed home today.

Sid: Horatio's human best friend. Traumatized (TM) but with a rainbow half-shave.

Sorian: Horatio's biological dad. Skilled magicarpenter and the one who brings snacks but otherwise kind of a sad sack.

Avis: Sid's weird aunt figure and Sorian's estranged wife (bet you can't guess why they're estranged). Abrasive, prickly, and competent.

Which brings us to:

the Ring-bearer: Horatio. Like, no one even argues about this. He is both difficult to corrupt and imbued with a universal sense of duty none of these other chucklefucks could manage. I feel like the Ring trying to tempt him would be like "just give it to someone else. Then you can go home and check on your plants. They're not dead but like what if they're dead you know what I'm saying?" (He left his friend Marcus in charge of the shop. Marcus is a pigment magician and knows how to manage plants but like. what would be worse, not dealing with this ring or his single Pergannom koertens dying?)

the "Sam": this fell into place too easily, lol, because it's definitely Sid, who is canonically a really good cook. And I know the question isn't actually saying that he's armed with a wizard of potatoes but if he was that would be sous chef Sorian.

Sean Bean: probably Celia, though she's not allowed to die. She really thought she was going to be a shoo-in to this combat thing because so many of the people she knows are 40% squishier than her by virtue of not being literal dragons. She also thought there was going to be a good opportunity to use her real weapon, seduction of the enemy. So far she's 0/2.

totally crushing on Arwen and has a really cool sword: Leon. The sword has a name like Dick Turpin too and I'm pretty sure in canon it hangs above his mantlepiece. Edith thinks it's funny that he's so enamored with Arwen. Avis can't help pointing out that "she must be almost your age" [cue Celia snorting in the background].

Axe: Edith. She has a real Millie (Helluva Boss) streak about her and honestly? She loves doing the battle couple thing as long as she doesn't have to gore people with her horns.

Bow: Sorian. In canon I'm not sure he's ever shot a bow in his life (though Edith also doesn't own an axe). But this man has waited thirteen years just to find out if his wife still hates him. He's a fuckin sharpshooter.

the “package deal”: like I said, Allison should have stayed home today. But Celia is going, and he doesn't want her to go to Isengard without him, even though he REALLY doesn't want to go to Isengard. (He also knows deep down that if he let himself lose control a little in his wolf form, he would be a force to be reckoned with.) There are a lot of other potential package deals, not least Horatio and Sid, who are probably more Merry & Pippin-ish, but my favorite runners up are Avis and Sorian, who will not admit under any circumstances that they even could potentially be a package deal, but they totally are.

the dude with a sick staff and a concerning amount of explosives, may or may not be an actual wizard: Avis. Honestly, in canon, she may or may not be an actual witch. She is known to coolly disappear at random times and then turn up later with the most ridiculous magic bombs you've ever seen. Leon is constantly almost touching her staff and she is constantly almost giving him a concussion with it. She also has protested too much that she's here because of the fate of the world or because Sid asked her to and no other reasons.

#I had too much fun with this. not sorry #Allison is probably the most worried about missing second breakfast #another victim of hubris: Leon believing he can finally touch Avis's sick staff & waking up hours later like 'did I do it'#Edith: no babe but you did get a concussion #Avis: [tries to look severe but ends up sticking her tongue out at him]#also in the process of thinking about this I started working on a scene where Avis is being very not normal about Sorian #might post it when I'm done. It is smut yes #asks #blorbo blursday #wip: aom #c: Avis #c: Sorian #c: Sid #c: Horatio #c: Leon #c: Edith #c: Celia #c: Allison

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