Imagine overhearing Arnold Poindexter talking about how much he likes you.

No matter where you went, it seemed like the members of Lambda Lamba Lambda were always in sight. You never really minded it, they were a good group of fellas, pretty funny, and they always were nice to you - particularly Arnold Poindexter. Life was funny that way - you walked out of class and there he was, in the hallway. It’s him you usually saw when you walked through the courtyard. Arnold, Arnold, Arnold. So when you overheard a conversation nearby, it wasn’t all that surprising.

“Just ask then out,” Lewis was bugging, poking Poindexter. “You’ve only been talking about y/l/n since you got here.”

“Yeah, you should. Babes like that don’t stay single for long,” The one that was affectionately known as Booger replied. You were flattered overhearing this, very flattered. You had a thing for the red-head yourself. Maybe he was the biggest nerd of them all but he had a certain charm. And he seemed the loyal type, like he’d never cheat, which was something you had painfully gone through before.

“Okay, okay, I love y/n,” Arnold said, unable to take the pressure anymore. “But they’re way out of my league.”

--

The next time that you saw him was outside of your last class for the night. He was in the hallway, by himself, not really looking at anybody or anything in particular. Until he looked your way, flushed, and then looked down. You smiled to yourself - how very adorable this man was. You clutched your books to your chest and walked on over to him, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Well good evening, Arnold Poindexter,” You said pleasantly. His eyes went wide behind those thick coke-bottle glasses of his when you approached.

“Good - evening?” He said, it more so as a question.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go and grab dinner with me over at the diner tonight. It’s been a long day and I’m starved. How about you?”

“I - yes!” He squeaked.

“Excellent. It’s a date.”

Requested by: Anonymous

Arnold Poindexter x reader

Requested: Non

Warning: Non

(Just introducing my favorite nerd from Revenge of the Nerds!)

*****

Now when you told the lambda's that your home was open to them. You didn't really understood how seriously they would take that. Yes, your home was open to them, in emergency's. But like in day to day life? There was a problem. You didn't mind the occasional visit, but leaving things at your home was beginning to be a problem. Like for example. At one point you had walked into your living room for some TV and coffee but found that your couch was occupied by a black, beaten up guitar. You recognized it as boogers but didn't say much. But definitely moving it to a better and safer spot was better then sitting on it. It went from things like that to, books, VHS's, the occasional tie, and lastly Poindexters violin. Now you knew how much he cherished that violin, so him leaving it here must've meant he was trying to protect it or some other underlying reason. But you made the trip to return it to him.

You arrived at the front door and knocked. Takashi answered and gave you a hello before bowing and gesturing you inside. You looked back to him "Where's Arnolds room?" He tells you where and you nod walking off towards the stairs. You remembered which door and when you got there you knocked. You heard a quick but almost faint "Come in!" You opened the door and there he was. Typing rather slowly on his keyboard. He looked back for a moment and looked to his keyboard again. But before you could do anything he took a second glance and his eyes widened a bit. He internally screamed at seeing you. Part of him was cheering at the fact that his small plan to get you to come over, using his violin as a reason for your arrival had worked. But part of him was panicked at how quick you had done it. He wasn't prepared whatsoever. He was about to say hello, but the small smile you gave made his heart sink down into his stomach. He was nervous. He never had a girl in his room, even in high school. But seeing you smiling at him and holding his violin made him giddy. He ran that over in his head again. You were holding "his" violin. Not some other guys violin, but his. He looked down and when he heard your voice he whipped his head back up, also making his chair turn completely around, facing you. "I saw your violin on my coffee table and knew how much it meant to you. I thought that you'd want it right away, so here I am. And here it is." You say walking forward a bit till your about an arms length away. He sucks in a shaky breath that you notice. He reaches out and just as he's about to grab the case, you walk forward and is now standing almost all the way in between his legs. He has the case in his hands now, but all attention is on you. He can't help but look up at you from where he sits. Even though his vision is impaired, he can now see how much more beautiful you look up close. How pretty your eyes are. He can't look away, it's as if you have him in a daze. Like a deer caught in the headlights. You smiled down at him again, running a hand through your hair. You reach forward and touch the collar of his jacket. It was crooked, so you fixed it. Patting the rough material down and smoothing it over his shoulder. He kept his gaze up at you and you could tell he wanted something, but the fear in his eyes were evident. You smiled again and looked up from his jacket into his eyes. You could see how blue his eyes were, immediately you knew that if you looked long enough you'd get lost. You noticed how his glasses were sliding down his nose, but he was so focused on you he didn't even care to fix them. You reached both hands up to the sides of his face. You could see him slightly panic and fidget in his seat. You gave him a smile that seemed to calm him immediately. You grabbed the side of his glasses and pushed them up his nose. After doing so you placed your hands back on his cheeks. "Has anyone ever told you you have the bluest eyes ever?" He shakes his head but adds "No, But my mom said they were very nice one time." You smiled again and suppressed a laugh. "Well she wasn't lying. They're beautiful. I could get lost in them if I'm not careful." You say as you lean in closer. You could hear his breathing speed up a bit. You grazed your lips over his and could feel him struggle to stay in place. You smiled and pecked his lips quickly "You can kiss me Arnold." He sighs out and leans forward. Capturing your lips in a slow kiss. He had no idea what to do with his hands. He was nervous. This was completely different. That one girl at the party was when he was high, plus he had a crush on you from the first day he saw you. He thought about you all the time. Thinking about how it would be like to kiss you. And now that you were, he didn't know what to do with himself. You brought your hands up to card them through his tangled hair. You kissed him again and this time when you pulled away you could clearly see the once nervousness in his eyes now dissipated into contentment. He smiled at you and looked down "I-I don't kn-now what to say." You shake your head and caress his cheek with your hand "That's ok, just say yes to going to get lunch with me tomorrow?" You say looking hopeful, hoping that you didn't do something wrong. He smiles again and looks up to your eyes "Alright." He says still smiling. "Good, now I have to go home and get started on my work. Ill see you tomorrow Poindexter." You say as you walk over to the door. You give him one last look and wave goodbye to him. Closing his door behind you. When you left, he leaned back in his chair. Making it tip back from the weight. He breaths out a sigh of relief as he realizes that he just agreed to lunch, with you. He was ecstatic. He gets up quickly, not worried over the work that has a deadline and rushes out his door and down that stairs. When he reaches the kitchen, he sees all the lambda's and get there attention. "I am going to lunch with y/n tomorrow." The first one to respond was booger, but he didn't believe him "Bullshit! She's turned everyone in this house down, why would she says yes to you?" "I didn't ask her. She asked me." "Well that's even more bullshit!" Arnold wasn't expecting such an outburst from booger, but guessing he got turned down so much in the past by you that it really bothers him. Just then when Arnold was losing hope, the front door opened and there you came walking back in. "Hi guys! Sorry I forgot to do something." You say as you put a piece of paper in Arnolds jacket pocket. You then leaned in and pecked his cheek whispering "I can't wait for tomorrow." You leaned back and walked away waving at everyone before you left. They all looked at Arnold and immediately louis smiled "Well? Sit down and spill the beans." Arnold smiles again and walk over to the table, taking a seat next to Takashi. This was definitely one of the best moment in his life.

*****

(Hello! I hope you enjoyed this and if you did any kind of feedback is highly appreciated! Have an amazing day/night and stay safe out there in the world!)

A Prophet of Pain

I'm not going to give you the humbug that, "pain is a learning experience". Pain is a sign of too much dysfunction, dysfunction confronting the limit of our tolerance. Pain is an insult and a challenge. It says, "Somethin's gotta change!" It's not a learning experience; it's a goad to a learning experience -- provided you have the means to change and the recognition of what you need to change (a tall order, in itself, on this benighted and tragic planet, where people are made to suffer without a way out, largely controlled by idiots with a thirst for control over others, but not over themselves). I consider myself to have "come in" (to Life/Existence) in a worse, that is to say, in a more massive compounding of painful conditions and dysfunctional conditions leading to painful conditions -- and failures of various functions to come "on-line" than most people. That may be presumptuous, on my part, but in general I somehow doubt that most people have lived in the state of compound dysfunctions at the depth at which I have lived them. I could be wrong. I am very nearsighted; my prescription was, at one point, -10 diopters. That's 20/1000. My elbows can never straighten completely, due to limitations of the elbow joints, and that affects my movement. The tops of my ears look as if singed or melted, like wax. I have a ringing in my ears that I've had since childhood, that never goes away. I've gone through periods of intense pain, both physical (movement:sensation) and emotional. Physical pain:  back muscle spasms, sciatica, sacro-iliac joint dysfunction, whiplash injuries, a self-inflicted "gripping injury" in the right side of my neck and upper back that prevented me from turning my head right or left without searing pain, a fall from a second story balcony onto concrete (managing to land on my feet), being hit by a car on my bicycle, and other bicycle falls and roller skating accidents, tripping over garden hoses across the sidewalk, staggering and landing hard on my sit-me-down (twice), causing pain I never dreamed could exist in a place I didn't know I had, until that moment. Emotional pain: grew up in a family mostly devoid of empathy or engagement, feeling isolated most of the time, socially isolated from my peer group, compelled to the hated piano bench to practice in the afternoons after school, while the other boys played, outside; frequently bullied and anxious in school, never got a valentine on Valentine's Day; subject to night terrors, chaotic altered states, and nightmares; sexually molested more than once -- by a neighbor boy and by a female babysitter -- and my sexuality intruded upon and attacked by my mother. I was an intellectually, musically, and verbally gifted kid, a fair-haired boy (blond) who liked classical music and science and who read the World Book Encyclopedia set cover to cover, with an active imagination. I could have been named, Poindexter, but instead, one of the boys who bullied me called me, Peabody. I was a timid adolescent with no close friends, always the last on the running track, in P.E., always the last picked for team sports. In my teens, I was forced to participate in an encounter group, where I was kept at a distance by the other members and once, told that I was unlovable. In my teens, my rolfer told me I was the most contracted person he had ever worked with, like concrete, he said. These are all things I experienced -- and more. Thus, it may be said that I have known pain and suffering, and so grew into deep sorrow and loneliness, anxiety and fear, and righteous anger. I've been beset with many distorted values, controlling belief traps than I now see can impede (and have been impeding) me in various ways and lead me to unpleasant experiences of life as sets of dense, unnecessary problems, confusions, maladroitness, developmental deficiencies, maladaptation and cluelessness. Delayed development. Neurosis. Entrapment. Bondage -- like a hapless, Jerry Lewis-type character, Arnold Drelb, or a Woody Allen-like character, only not funny - a mutation, perhaps, with an unearthly sense of humor, frequently misunderstood, in this world but unlike those in it. I've been crushed and disintegrated by waves of change going through my life, several times, so that all that was left functioning in me were basic functions of life maintenance and my work, which I continued, as I was. I even wrote some of my books of somatic education instruction in the midst of those periods of crushing and rending change. For one period, I was in such a vise that my speech patterns were disrupted; I could hardly speak. I've lived largely in isolation for many years, with sporadic contact with others that occurred during forays into town to do errands; my commonest social contact has been in restaurants, with the servers, there, and occasionally, with patrons. Most of my interactions with people were with clients and occasionally, with colleagues. A practitioner of Valerie Hunt's "Mindfield work,"  with whom I traded sessions, said to me, "It's a wonder you're still alive." I've had a MOUNTAIN of stuff to work through, and first with inadequate tools from various teachings, then with increasingly adequate tools, and now with much more powerful somatic educational tools that have been revealed to me and that I have developed. Pain drove me to develop and use these tools because the alternative was, to me, intolerable. I began to reverse my condition at age 16, when I was guided to yoga and began breathing exercises; people noticed that I seemed more relaxed. That was a bare beginning of a long, hard "row to hoe". Over the years, I studied and participated in transformative teachings and processes, both ancient and leading edge contemporary in stages of twenty to twenty-five years each, concentrating on self-transformation with increasingly powerful modalities, drilling down into and learning to dissolve my conditioning. At last, I arrived at the core of my condition-ability -- a set of four co-efficient faculties -- attending, intending, remembering and imagining -- that I was given to call, The TetraSeed, because it is the root of all living functions and conditioning, without exception. From that revelation, I developed the TetraSeed Transformation procedures, of which The Gold Key Release was the first. I have used those procedures relentlessly to uncover and dissolve the adverse conditioning of my pain and suffering, and then introduced them to others, with 100% success. That's why I might be called, The Prophet of Pain. Using these procedures, I've discovered myself to have been set in weird patterns of tension that seem to make no sense, primitive, perhaps; self-shapings and postural-distortions in mutually-counteracting twists that have a very unfamiliar feeling to them (literally, screwed up), that I have felt only as I come out of them. I've been holding myself and living as that -- a complex pile-up of distorted shapes of tension -- with only dim and partial recognition, often without any capacity to direct attention to them, at all -- aware only of an inchoate sense of unpleasant and unaccountable stress existing in and as me for an indeterminate time that fades into obscurity. If you can identify with the passages of pain I have named, you may also accept the possibility that I'm on to something. Having suffered and counteracted suffering by dissolving the entrapments of experience back into their latent, neutral condition, I have transformed and dissolved much, and thereby overcome it -- not by imposing its opposite, but by dissolving it into virtual non-existence. The bad conditioning I have dissolved is now available in a much healthier form, at a moment's notice, as required by the call of experience. The term one might use is, Spontaneous Right Action. What has this done? It's upgraded my functioning, altogether. Consider the quality of writing of this piece. It's made me smarter, more creative, more efficient, and more effective, given me a better emotional equilibrium. Now, I like the products of my efforts, better. It's not so much that I know more (although that's true); rather, it's a change of how I function, spontaneously; it's a more effective use of information and the transformation of old behavior patterns; it's a more maximally effective use of self. I've been cleaned up and renovated, a bunch. I'm not claiming that I'm through with the process I've been describing. I'm a work-in-progress. I'm claiming that I am onto something that works and have been using it to move through -- transform, correct and dissolve -- mementos of relationships and artifacts of personal history, the inherited heritage of species development and ancestral development that have been a burden upon my back and a snare about my feet. It's the transformation and dissolution of that -- first by bringing it to life then by so integrating it in myself that it dissolves into Virtuality (or latency). Dissolves means that something loses its density, and so, its strangely attractive grip on attention. Virtuality means, it's easy to bring the thing into existence because it continues as a latent tendency (hologram-like) in the ground substance of existence, available for activation, at need.

First you grok it, and then as you grok it, it dissolves, leaving only a Virtuality in the Ground of Being. You discover it is a mere expression of the Ground of Being, the Void, tending to come into existence as living qualities. Grok that.

I've done these awakening-and-dissolution activities in one trouble area of life after another and have been experiencing a trend -- a very long trend -- out of the pain into heightened awareness and enhanced functioning. My worst days, these days, are brighter than my best days, back when. Even when I'm testy, I sound pleasant. I've extinguished the sciatica, cleared up the S-I Joint dysfunction to the point where it is a non-issue and still improving, reversed the effects of neck injuries and the fall from the balcony, better than new. I've gotten a one-diopter improvement in my glasses. The ringing in my ears is pleasant, when listened to. I've relieved myself of a bunch of my own witless conditioning, which has been forceful, in me. My relationship with my mother is friendly. Now, when I walk, I feel well-put-together and have continued to get better. I can comprehend what is hard to comprehend, and I have invented somatic education exercises and self-renovation procedures that function well; I can also dissolve upwelling/emerging stress conditions. I move well and function well -- some have said, at the "genius" level. Well . . . . . (looking down, the ball of one foot pressing down and turning on the dirt, like stubbing out a cigarette). One who has "seen" can show others. Dissolving pain into Virtuality is profitable; it's the profit of transforming awful, heavy curses into blessings. They don't call me, The Prophet of Pain for no good reason.

"We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin:

Your mind just popped."

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6DQKq8opU6A/War0JtSSC9I/AAAAAAAAB6I/vZ2AKTi1I90AA2WzVj6SEz6yNwNQmdiFwCLcBGAs/s200/Fractal%2BTetraseed.jpg via Blogger http://lawrencegoldsomatics.blogspot.com/2017/09/a-prophet-of-pain.html

Imagine Poindexter asking you out.

So maybe Poindexter wasn’t the typical type of dream man with muscles and rugged good looks. But he was a sweetheart, kind of funny, musically talented, and these things wouldn’t fade with time the way that handsomeness did - so you had said yes to Arnold, despite your own position as chapter advisor to the Pis, who seemed to hate Lamba Lamba Lamba.

“How about a movie?” You asked, trying to think of what a good date idea would be, at the very least trying to find something that you might have in common.

“Is that what you want to do?” Arnold ask, clearly so eager to please, how endearing. “We can go and see a movie. Anything you want. I’ll - I’ll get my prescriptions changed too so I can see it! Actually see it.” He took off his glasses and rubbed at them with the hem of his shirt, eyes squinting. Poor thing, it hardly looked like he could see at all!

“Right, it would be a better experience if you could see,” You smiled. He put his glasses back on and his eyes looked so big behind them. Excited to. “I’ll meet you at the theater at, say, Seven?”

“Okay, yeah! Uh - see you!”

Requested by: Anonymous

Imagine sticking up for Arnold Poindexter when the Alpha Betas try to take his violin.

You weren’t a part of any sorority, not really giving into the ‘school cheer ra ra’ sort of thing. You were there to get your education and then go into your chosen job field and be successful. But somehow, you had made friends and become an honorary member of Lamba Lambda Lambda, despite all of your intentions.

“Hey, jerk,” You had called out to Ogre one day when you saw the burly boy, who actually looked like a forty year old man, carrying a violin case that very clearly was not his. Ogre stopped in spot, and turned around slowly to face you, his expression that of constant confusion with a dash of rage. It was pretty obvious that were it not for Football, he wouldn’t be here at all. If it weren’t for Football, he probably wouldn’t even have graduated high school. “Hasn’t anyone told you not to take things that aren’t yours? Give it back to -” You read the name stitched onto the side of the case. “-Poindexter - now.”

“What are you gonna do about it?” Ogre asked with a laugh - and then a burp, disgusting. It more so came out as rumbling noises. Had anyone ever taught him how to speak?

“I can’t do much about it,” You admitted, given how you didn’t have the muscles that he did, or the same instinct to smash into inanimate objects that he did. “But I’m sure that the security guard just over there might have something to say about it.” You crossed your arms in front of you, waiting for his response - waiting to run, actually, in case he’d try to charge at you for getting involved.

Ogre’s head turned to that of the Security Guard - one of the big ones who sometimes walked the campus. He gave out a grunting noise then passed the violin case back to a boy you hadn’t even seen before. Ogre was so big, his body was covering up the one of this poor Poindexter boy entirely. And then Ogre stalked off, giving you the finger as he went, making you roll your eyes. “He’s as thick as a rock, isn’t it?” You commented to Poindexter, making sure that he was okay. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” He said, checking over the case, and then looked at you, shoving his glasses back up. From the way he was squinting, he didn’t seem to be seeing too well, even with those thick coke-bottle things on his face. “Thanks.”

Turns out you were headed the same way so you walked together, at first insulting Ogre, and then talking about violin. Eventually introductions were made and your fate was sealed. By helping Arnold, you became a part of Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Requested by: Anonymous

Arnold Poindexter

(Revenge of the Nerds)

Arnold Poindexter: His plan works out in his favor