#And now I got asked to put pics I've taken on my **** Blog
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Alright, time to actually make one of these for real, since this is looooong overdue. Hi! I'm Cynthia! I'm...a lot of things, and I struggle to describe them without it feeling inadequate! I play games, I write software for a living, I write non-software things for fun occasionally, I'm wildly horny, neurodivergent, a massive nerd who constantly wishes she knew more about everything.
Property of: @synthbang and @stalesweetrolls
Let's start with some ID stuff, I'm a pre-HRT(for now!!!) transfem, I go by she/they/it pronouns. My friends call me any fun variation of my name they can come up with, like Cyn, Cyndy, Cyndicate, etc. If we're mutuals, we're friends :3. I'm white, American(New England), poly, t4t, atheist, wildly sapphic, and physically, but not visibly, disabled.
As for interests, I've got literal dozens. Gaming, anime, manga, movies, writing, reading, music, pole dancing, ttrgps, game design, hiking, conservation, activism, fashion, just to name a few, each of which splinters into dozens of little sub-interests. Ask me a dragonball question, I dare you.
Actually, ask me any kind of question. Asks are open all the time and so are anons. Go wild ya horny fools
FOLKS WHO ARE NOT WELCOME (DNIs)
Minors
Seriously, minors, this blog is very horny
Ageless blogs
Sissy kink blogs
Race and ageplayers
SIDEBLOGS
I have two sideblogs atm, although in actuality there's just one that's even remotely active.
@den-of-cyn is where I used to do my hornyposting. The big thing that's there now is the pinned post with a list of my kinks, for those of you interested in the horny side of the Cynner. The account got flagged as NSFT and I haven't been able to get that revoked yet, and moreover I decided to stop worrying about it and just started posting horny on main anyway. There's quite a few good ones on there that I haven't reblogged to here, and a few pics I haven't reposted, so if you somehow don't get enough horny nonsense on this page, you can always go there to see some vintage Cyn >:3
@thebookofcyn is my writing sideblog. It's where all my original stuff will one day live, when I get the spoons to put all my old stuff on it. It is SFT FOR NOW, IT WILL NOT BE IN THE FUTURE! Soon there will be a pinned post there explaining my tags and how to find stories. I'm hoping to post more there as time goes on and I actually embrace this hobby more.
TAGS
I layer my tags and usually don't do content tags, and I don't tag reblogs except to do responses. The tags that mean things on this blog are as follows:
#cynposting - Any post by me that has text outside of tags, including reblog replies. Searching this tag will get you everything I've written in text on this blog.
#cynful thoughts - Any post I think is horny. You can filter for this post if you want to see me being a degenerage, or filter it out if you'd rather not.
#pics of the cynner - Any picture of myself, pretty self explanatory. Most are accompanied by #cynful thoughts
#Cyn fits - pics of myself taken specifically to show off an outfit and explain why I chose it for that day.
#I asked - Reblog of an ask that I sent someone
#ask and ye shall receive - Tag for when I answer an ask
#get tagged idiot - Tag for when the only content of a post is me @ -ing someone in the reblog.
#pinned post - Last one, tag for the previous pinned posts I've made. This should be the last one. In theory.
And that's it!!!! For now. Probably. I'm a wordy bitch, so I expect this'll get longer and longer.
#cynposting#cynful thoughts#pics of the cynner#i asked#ask and ye shall receive#get tagged idiot#pinned post
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This is me. Having the time of my life a few months shy of 50 with my ride-or-dies, Heather and Stephanie. I should probably introduce you to them now because I'm sure they will be recurring characters in this blog. They are a part of all the big moments in my life and have been for years. I'm privileged to be a part of their lives.
So, just to be clear: This picture wasn't taken at the start of this year. It was taken at the moment I realized that this year was different. I have had some really good years and some really hard years. (Haven't we all?) But this year felt different from the start. I just wasn't sure why then. I think now I know why.
My goal with this blog is to chronicle the places this year has taken me and all the feels it's given me. Because if this is what 50 looks like (and beyond) I'm here for it!
Ok, so this particular picture is a perfect example of "carpe diem." (Side note for all of you fans of Dead Poets Society, carpe diem actually means "pluck the day" or to seize it in the way you would pick a beautiful flower from your garden instead of how you would seize a piece of property or something of the like. I actually prefer that translation. The softness in the way you go about taking hold of your life - or days - is important.) But I digress...
Back to our story. One day in February I texted Stephanie and Heather and said, "I have a crazy idea. Who's in?" Because of the beautiful, lovely spirits they both are, they answered with "Of course! So what are we doing?" They both have jobs and families and lives so they needed details, but when I told them I wanted to fly to London for 3 very short days in May to see Harry Styles in concert in Coventry, England, they were in. It wasn't even a hard sell. They. Were. In. I mean, can you ask for more than that? (Ok, cheers to my Mickey, too. My ever supportive husband of all my crazy ideas, who agreed to the plan. And to a couple other good friends who encouraged me to follow my dream - Gina and Garrett - despite how crazy it sounded.)
A couple months later we were on our way. There were a few hiccups, I can't lie. I was flying in from Miami from a work conference to meet them in Newark and then we were flying out the next morning to London. Unfortunately, due to issues with my ticket, they got on the plane and I didn't. Instead, I spent 12 hours getting to know the Newark airport intimately. Womp, womp. But I digress... the point is I made it to London in time to see Harry.
Also, we stayed at The Ritz. (Thanks, Jarrod.) That gorgeous historical hotel was the place where we were told that we couldn't go into the bar in the jeans we were wearing. Welp. What can we say? We love our jeans and there were many other pubs in London that would love us in our jeans, too. And whatever Detroit attitude that Heather... I mean that (cough, cough) we ALL brought with us from the US didn't matter. We politely declined and decided to visit several of those other pubs just to get the full experience.
It's safe to say I had the time of my life with my best friends and Mr. Harry Styles.
The point is that this trip was the moment when I knew this year was different. It's when I knew that 50 was going to be good. Really good. I can't say I always thought that. I never really thought much about life after raising my kids. Strange I know. Considering the average life expectancy is 75-ish for women and your kids are with you only 18-ish of those 75-ish years. There is a hell of a lot of life to live around that. Maybe I had tunnel vision? I don't know, but I can see clearly now. My kids have grown into amazing young people with bright futures. But what I'm realizing is I still have a bright future, too. A future I plan to fill with travel, good food, good wine, good friends, and finally, FINALLY, all the writing I've put off for so long.
Want to see some more pics of the trip? Here you go:
Yep. We had an amazing time.
Just a few housekeeping notes:
This blog won't go in chronological order. I'm currently sat in the British Airways Club waiting to board our flight to London then on to Rome for the 2023 Ryder Cup . This current trip will be what my next posts are comprised of. But I will be going back to earlier in the year. Because I've counted recently and I've been to at least 12 cities so far this year. It's VERY out of the ordinary for me. Upcoming posts will talk about my trips to New Orleans; Savannah; Charlotte; Nashville,;Dana Point, Los Angeles; Hollywood, Florida; London; Rome; New York; Chapel Hill; Raleigh (Louis Tomlinson concert!!); Chicago and more! Stay tuned...
#turning50#aging#lifeafter50#travel#travelblog#travelblogger#writing#GenX#over50#London#Harry Styles#HSLOT
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"oh wow i'm feeling so motivated for starting a shitty blog it sure is giving me the motivation to keep on posting!"
well yeah, it was pretty motivating, but i've been busy. i guess publising stuff it's more a privilege than a need (if you don't work for things online ofc).
so let's see, i have been busy with studying and all that, napping too. i have been pretty tired recently, like all of my (i assume) non-existent energy was just taken right out of me.
i gave some cents to the gnome we have in the living room. i just put them with him. i'm not sure if that's supposed to do anything.
so uuhh... i went to class, monday and wednesday, i didn't write shit, but i'll write everything in my home. i doodled some stuff, bad idea, i didn't pay attention and i couldn't understand anything the teacher gave as a lil exercise lol.
i really like the teacher we got though, she teaches stuff great and is always so lively, she must really like her job i guess.
she wrote something on the blackboard, and when class finished she forgot to take a picture so an hour after class ended she sent a message asking if someone had a pic of it to send to her email. luckily i had one so i sent it to her.
now imma go watch some videos and idk.
and just as clarification, i don't like my teacher romantically, i just think that she's a great teacher, i really hoped i had one like her when i was growing up lol.
goodbye, take care.
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Gimme Shelter - 3
Chapter 3 anyone? Well...here it comes. I hope you enjoy it. If so, please leave me a comment, like or replog. 💜
Previous part -> Nashi’s Masterlist
Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)
Words: ~3.1k
Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 3: Henry tries to get closer to Kat but there are various obstacles.
Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues and panic attacks, language
No beta! All mistakes are mine. English is not my mother tongue so expect bad grammar and wrong spelling.
Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill, this is pure fiction and nothing more
Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly, Eli = Stephen James
Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights @sweetlybigdragonn @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @rn7rocks
~~~~~~~~
3
I should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you, ohh
Never without your love
From Careless Whisper written by Andrew J. Ridgeley / George Michael
Henry was wrong thinking their conversation was the end of Kat's distant behaviour. Sure, it got better but she was still acting aloof and it was clear as day that she still couldn't see him as a friend. She treated him like a guest. Always polite and friendly but keeping her distance and neutrality. And that was the reason why he was really looking forward to tonight. It was Saturday and they were going to visit the city festival that took place every summer and that was a big event in the little town of St. Ives. Henry, Kat and Sam with his girlfriend Lydia, who was a delicate and very pretty black woman with an astonishing amount of energy, always in a good mood and wearing her heart on her sleeve. Henry immediately got why Kat liked her so much, when he met her for the first time a day after he moved in. She was funny and very smart, a real tough cookie but caring and warm-hearted, too. So it was going to be just the four of them and of course he was hoping for a chance to come a little closer to Kat in the relaxed atmosphere of the public party with some music and drinks. Maybe she was able to loosen up around him there.
When they arrived the festival was in full swing. The city was crowded with tourists and locals, smiling faces everywhere and the friends were in a good mood, too. Sam and Lydia were standing arm in arm and Kat was sure her brother had finally found his perfect match. She'd never seen him so in love before and she was genuinely happy for him. Henry went to a stall and came back with four glasses of beer, after he had taken a few selfies with some fangirls. Kat was wondering how he felt about this. About the fact that he got recognized although he was in St. Ives to escape all the media hype and all the pressure that it had put on him in the last years but he didn't seem to care. Maybe he's so used to it that it doesn't bother him, Kat thought, or he's just not showing it. "Cheers." Henry said, smiling at them, holding Kat's gaze a little longer than usual which made her nervous. "Cheers." They answered in unison and Kat started to look around. There were various stalls selling all kinds of stuff, from kitsch to unique art and she even spotted some carousels. The band that had been playing was just leaving the stage right in front of the harbour.
"Isn't that Elijah?" Sam nudged her and nodded at a stall a few meters away.
"Who?" Lydia craned her neck to take a look. "The inked guy?"
"Shit. Yes, that's him." Kat made a face and Henry turned around. There was only one inked guy. He was tall and buff, tattooed from head to toe - literally. He was young, 24 or 25 maybe, and very handsome, Henry had to admit that. Piercing blue eyes, a sharp jawline and high cheekbones, his black hair worn in a stylish undercut, dressed in ripped jeans and a simple white T-shirt.
"This is your fuck boy?" Lydia blurted out. Kat shushed her with an awkward grin. "He was my fuck boy. Past tense."
Henry felt his stomach twist in a strange mix of jealousy, anger and protectiveness.
"Damn, girl. You never mentioned he is that hot. I see why you didn't say no to him."
"Excuse me?" Sam looked at his girlfriend with a frown. "You don't even like tattoos?" Lydia laughed out loud and kissed him. "You're right, baby, he's gross."
"There he comes." Henry said looking at Kat who rolled her eyes.
"Heaven help." She muttered under her breath.
"Kat, good to see you." Ink guy hugged her before he eyed her up and down. "You look great."
"Hi. Thanks. You look good too." She smiled at him and there was an awkward pause until she cleared her throat to introduce him.
"Um, yeah, you know my brother Sam and this is his girlfriend Lydia." She pointed at them. "And here we have our new housemate Henry." She nodded at him and Henry flinched. Housemate. Not friend, just housemate.
"Guys, this is Elijah. We used to do Yoga together."
Elijah glanced at her before he put on a lewd smirk. "Yeah, let's call it Yoga." He raised his eyebrows and gave Kat a sexy wink.
"Speaking of which. I really miss our long and intense...Yoga exercises." He grinned. "I think about you a lot to get into the right mood, whenever I do Yoga...all alone. On my own. Almost every night."
Kat raised an eyebrow and returned his flirtatious smile. "I'm sure you don't have problems finding a new Yoga partner."
"No, I don't. I've tried it with a few. But it's hard to find someone as good as you. As flexible and experienced and passionate...about Yoga."
Kat was speechless for a moment and Elijah stepped closer and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. "Maybe we can do a session tonight."
Kat looked him in the eyes, biting her bottom lip. "Yeah. Maybe. If I'm in the mood for Yoga later."
He grinned. "See you on the dance floor? The DJ's gonna start his show in a few."
"Sure." Kat nodded.
"Great. See ya, guys." He waved at them and strolled away with a swagger that annoyed Henry.
When he was out of earshot Sam laughed out loud.
"Fuck, sis. Did the guy just tell you, you're his wank-rag?"
Kat knitted her brows with an embarrassed grin. "Shut up, okay? I don't wanna hear anything about this. This conversation never happened." She blushed furiously and Henry would have loved to ask her about the story behind all this but he kept his mouth shut. It was none of his business. He was just the housemate.
*****
It took Henry another four glasses of beer to find the courage to ask her about Mr. Ink anyway.
"So what's going on with you and...Elijah?" Henry faked nonchalance by giving her just a quick glance and a tiny smile.
"Nothing." Kat didn't even look at him. Instead she watched the dancing crowd in front of the stage.
"I see." Henry tried to shrug it off and took another sip of his beer. He knew he shouldn't drink so much but it helped him to loosen up.
"Do you really think it's good for you to drink so much when you're still on your meds?"
Henry wasn't surprised by her question. She had always taken care of him. She had always been his voice of reason.
"No. Actually I know it's a very bad idea."
"But you do it anyway. Some things never change." Kat turned to him, took his glass out of his hands and replaced it with her glass of coke. He accepted it with a lopsided grin and the look they shared when their hands touched for a second made his heart flutter.
"I had a fling with him last year." Kat finally explained. "We went to the same Yoga class and we started to...well...have sex. It only lasted a two months."
"Why did it end?"
"It got a little out of hand. Eli wanted more than booty calls but I didn't. I just wanted casual fucks…"
Henry looked at her with a frown. Of course she misinterpreted his expression.
"Don't you dare judge me, Cavill…" Her voice was tense.
"I don't judge you, Kat. Casual sex can be great, I know that. I'm just surprised. I mean, you used to be the romantic type…"
"Romance is dead, Henry." She tried to temper her words with a smile but he knew that look that crossed her eyes. A mixture of defiance and sadness, that indicated a topic that worried her though she wouldn't want to talk about it. "Kat…." He touched her arm and she flinched as if his hand was burning her. Kat gave Henry an apologetic smile. Shaking her head she took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "I'm fine." The way he looked at her -his head cocked, his gaze intense- made her skin tingle and so she quickly averted her eyes.
She constantly had to remind herself of their conversation a few days ago. She was willing to give it a try, to be friends with him again but she just wasn't able to shake off the past. And the mixed emotions she had just thinking about him weren't helpful as well. She was attracted to him more than she wanted to be and at the same time she couldn't stand being too close to him. Henry opened his mouth to say something but before he was able to do so Lydia took Kat by the hand and dragged her away. "Come on, Kat. Let's dance. I love this song."
Elijah found Kat on the dance floor after just five minutes. She seemed to be hesitant at first about dancing with him but after another five minutes she had given in and now Henry was watching them getting closer with every song, moving to the rhythm, Elijah was holding her very close, rubbing his body against hers and it looked pretty hot.
"The guy's got moves, huh?" Sam nudged Henry with a grin.
"Yeah." He couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"If you're so annoyed by him, why don't you do something about it?"
Henry looked at him with a frown. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you can go on watching them dry humping on the dancefloor with hungry eyes or you can go dance with Kat yourself."
Henry let out a snort.
"I don't think your sister wants to dance with me."
"You'll never know if you don't try."
Henry just grunted and tried to shrug it off but Sam didn't want to let him off the hook.
"Just go and dance with her."
"I don't know."
"Oh come on, Cavill. Don't be such a sissy."
"Where's the point, Sam. She hates me."
Sam shook his head. "She doesn't hate you."
"But she doesn't like me either." Henry wasn't convinced.
"She likes you more than she dislikes you." Sam replied cryptically. "Now, come on. Go and put this prick in his place." Sam took Henry's glass and gave him a little shove. "Go." Henry stumbled forward. "Go." Sam repeated. Henry rolled his eyes. "Fine. She thinks I'm an idiot anyway. Not a problem if I make a fool of myself."
Henry made his way through the dancing crowd and when he finally stood right beside them Kat noticed him with a surprised smile. She stopped moving and Elijah gave him an angry glance. "Sorry, but I have to cut in."
"You do?" Kat asked sarcastically. "I do. Sorry, mate." He took Kat's hand and pulled her away from Elijah.
"Fancy a dance?" He indicated a bow and gave her a wink.
Kat grinned and gave Eli an apologetic shrug before turning to Henry again.
"Why not. Show me your moves."
And so they danced. Not as sexy and close as she had danced with Mr. Ink but still. She seemed to be happy and enjoying his company and that was all Henry was asking for. He wasn't the best dancer but it felt okay after the first awkward moments and Kat even touched him from time to time. After the third uptempo song the DJ played a slow track and he pulled Kat closer. She hesitated for a brief moment but then she wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her by her waist. They swayed to the slow music, their bodies not touching but their eyes met and Henry was wondering if Kat's heart was racing as fast as his.
Kat's heart was indeed racing. So many years ago this had been all she'd ever wished for. To dance with him to a romantic song. To feel his hands on her body. To be close to him. But those teenage dreams belonged to the past. She didn't believe in the idea of everlasting love anymore. She had given up on waiting for 'the one' a long time ago. And even if she had this tiny spark of hope for finding true love remaining in the darkest corners of her mind, it couldn't be Henry, could it? Her heart and mind screamed no. No, woman, he broke your heart. Don't get too close to him. You're going to burn your fingers. Again. He's not the one for you. But her body said yes. Go for it, woman. You're attracted to him. You've yearned for him 22 years, now get what you're craving.
Kat started to panic when Henry's gaze got more and more intense. She felt like drowning in his ocean blue eyes and burning up in his body heat at the same time. She knew that warm, fluttery feeling in her belly that was caused by his smile and his touch too well and she wouldn't let this happen again. He might have tricked her once but she wouldn't let him trick her twice. No fucking way.
Kat let go of his neck and took a step back and he knew their dance was over. Elijah gladly took over again and all Henry could do was to quit the field.
****
When Kat came home the next morning she found Sam in the kitchen making scrambled eggs and bacon.
"Morning. That smells heavenly."
"Morning. Will be done in a minute if you want some."
"I'd love to. I'm starving."
Sam turned around with a smirk.
"Really? No morning-after-breakfast at Elijah's?"
Kat rolled her eyes. "I didn't want to stay any longer, it just makes things awkward."
"I see. Is this going to be a regular thing again? You and your toyboy?"
"No." Kat shook her head. "Definitely not. Where are Lydia and Henry?"
"Lydia has a bad hangover and Henry….well, I guess he's still asleep. He didn't feel well last night." Sam turned around and gave his sister a plate filled with eggs, bacon and a bagel. Kat looked at him with a frown. "How's that? He was fine when I left. Did he drink too much?"
"No, no, he just had water after you scolded him for drinking." Sam winked at her with a grin. Getting serious he sat down and looked at her. "He had some kind of panic attack. Just freaked out…"
"God, Sam. That's awful. What happened?" Kat looked at her brother with a stunned expression on her face.
"I don't really know. It began with some people that recognized him. He took photos with them, it didn't seem to be a problem but then more and more fans came and surrounded him and he did his best to be nice and fulfill all their requests, he signed shirts and took selfies, one girl wanted his signature on her bra, it was crazy and soon got out of hand. I could see the panic in his eyes although he did his best to hide it. He was so polite and kind although a drunk guy, I guess the boyfriend of one of his fans, started to insult him. But at some point his face turned so pale and his hands started to shake, I was afraid he was about to pass out."
"Oh my god." Kat was really worried, Sam could easily tell by the deep frown and the knitted brows. "What did you do?"
"I got him out of there. Lydia calmed down the remaining fans and told them he had the flu or something and we went home."
"What did Henry say? Was it his first panic attack?"
"He didn't say much, didn't really want to talk about it. He went straight to bed. It was horrible, Kat."
"Shit."
"Yeah. I thought I'd bring him breakfast later. Or maybe you want to do it?"
Sam looked at Kat while he was eating a piece of bacon.
"I don't know, Sam."
"He trusts you, Kat."
"You are his friend."
"I'm his mate, that's a difference."
"No, it's quibble. You and him are closer than me and him. Whatever you call it." Kat arched an eyebrow and gave her brother an annoyed glance.
"Oh, come on,you know how it is, Kat. Guys don't talk about emotional stuff like this…"
"Maybe I don't want to talk about emotional stuff with him either."
Sam gave her a knowing look. "Are you afraid you're gonna fall for him again?"
Kat blinked repeatedly, speechless for a moment.
"What are you talking about?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Sam leaned back in his chair. "Look, Kat, I know I was busy with my own love life at school but I wasn't completely blind. I know you were in love with Henry. You always denied it but it was obvious to me. I knew you were lying when you said he's just a friend to you and I know that your friendship ended out of the blue when Hen and Poppy became a thing. So it's not so hard to draw the conclusion that he broke your heart and that you're afraid that history is going to repeat itself."
Kat chewed on her bottom lip but she didn't say a word. She just shrugged and pulled off pieces of her bagel absent minded.
"I think he needs you, Kat. He needs what the two of you had at school. That deep, unconditional kind of friendship. I can't give him that, we're not close enough, but you can."
She looked at Sam with a frown.
"I'm not so sure. It's not that easy. What we had back then is gone."
"I'm sure it's not. It's just buried under your past. You can dig it out."
Kat closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with a deep sigh. "I'm not a therapist."
"Good, because he has a therapist. What he doesn't have is someone who knows him like you do. Someone he can trust."
"Alright. I'll do it. I'm gonna bring him his breakfast and see if he wants to talk but I'm going to blame you if this ends in disaster."
~~~~~~
tbc
#rpf#henry cavill rpf#henry cavill#cavillry#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill fandom#henry cavill x ofc#friends to lovers#slow burn#Spotify
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PLEASE REBLOG FOR AWARENESS- S*X BOTS:
So, only recently, in the past week I've been getting a lot (and a lot, for my blogs, is six) of random followers, and it was making me a little suspicious, so in the end I just decided to check everything out and see what was going on.
I mean, did a post of mine do really well or something? Did someone tag me a bunch of times? Did someone reblog something?
NO.
I checked who had followed me recently, and, low and behold, it was: bots! How great.
But what was even worse, was that these were s*x bots (I'm censoring some words to keep my blog somewhat safe). S*x bots.
So since I've seen a lot of these over the past few weeks, I've decided to put together a little of what I've found. It's nothing new- and it's pretty much common knowledge- but hopefully it might help a few people out (especially since I'm one of many people who try to keep their blog safe from harmful, or 18+ content) and maybe even help keep some people a little safer here on Tumblr
So, here we go:
PROFILE PICTURES AND USERNAMES:
First of all, check the pfps and usernames. Sometimes they'll be something like "d3rtyg1rl", but not always. Other times it'll be something like "sangdori" or "jpi011" (those are two real accounts that followed me, I've just changed one or two of the letters in them)- so something that sounds like a regular Tumblr account to tebe average user. So if the username checks out as 'normal', the next thing to look at, is the profile picture.
These, similar to the usernames, and all the other things I'm going to mention, may seem normal at first. Some of them may be fluffy kittens (a lot of them are "generic"), others may be a seemingly innocent selfie, a few of them are just blank Tumblr and some are just... straight-up 18+ photos. So be aware that not all of them are going to be easy to spot right away.
LIKES, FOLLOWS AND UPLOADS:
Right, so now we've come to the part where you've checked out the usernames and profile pics, and they both show no signs of anything sinister. Good- now, if you're still suspicious, it's time to check the actual account itself.
The first thing you might want to take a look at, is the content they've uploaded, or in some cases haven't uploaded, onto their blog. This is where things can get deceiving. Many of these accounts have just one "generic" post- such as slime, kittens, glitter, etc (usually these are eye-catching things, which means it can draw people, especially children, in)- immediately followed by some sort of sexual content underneath that, usually in the form of a nude photo or p*rn (some are obscured, though most aren't), which catches you off-guard, to say the least.
Now, as I said before, not all of these bot accounts are the same. Some don't have any uploaded content at all- this is where checking their Likes page comes in.
(And I'm aware that this may sound like we're stalking someone's account at this point, but trust me, we're not. We're just trying to keep ourselves safe- and these are not people, remember, they're bots. Bots don't care, bots don't have feelings. Bots don't care if we block them). So, back to the point, the next thing we check is the Likes pages.
Now, some of these pages will be purely 18+ content, as you would expect. Just straight-up p*rn links, or nude photos. But others, however, seem innocent at first... that is, until you scroll down the page. Usually, it's just liked photos of (again, the generic, and eye-catching stuff) some cute animals, a GIF of slime, or a popular meme, but if you scroll down a little further underneath that, you'll see that same innapropriate content all over again.
Though again, as with all the other things I've mentioned, some of these liked pages seem fine upon inspection, which is where we move onto the final thing to check if what you're seeing is a bot account: the following page.
To be quite simple... this is where you'll need to look at a bunch of accounts all over again... hooray! If you find that some of the accounts seem suspicious from just looking at the pfps and usernames, then great, that usually means you know that the account you were originally looking at is a bot account, and you can block them and be done with it (and even if you're not entirely sure, blocking them will keep you safe, and besides, it doesn't hurt anyone- believe me, your safety takes 100% priority over having that one extra follower).
But, if you can't tell just by looking at them, and you're still suspicious, and you don't want to just block the original account you were looking at... then this would be the time do all of the above again (checking likes, following pages, and content) just to make sure.
If you don't find anything else suspicious, then congratulations, it's probably not a bot account, and you don't have to worry about it. But again, if you ARE worried, then PLEASE do just block and/or report, the account. It's better to have one less follower, than be unsafe, or have to feel uncomfortable.
SO, I THINK IT'S A BOT ACCOUNT, NOW WHAT?
Now, if you've been through all of the above, and/or you're pretty sure that what you've seen is a bot account, then it's time to either block it, or report it.
To block an account, simply tap on the little 'human/person' icon in the top right of that specific account, and tap 'block' (note: this will only report them from one of your blogs. If you want to block them from another, or all of your blogs, you'll have to add them to the block list for taht specific blog). To report someone instead, just tap 'report'.
So, you might be wondering: what's the difference between reporting someone and blocking them?
Well, I'll tell you as best as I can. Blocking someone means:
They won’t be able to follow your blog, or send you fan mails or asks to your blog, and they won't be able to see your blog’s posts in their Dashboard. In addition to that, neither will they be able to like, reblog, or reply to your posts, and your blog won’t show up in their search results. It's a really good option.
They'll still be able to read your posts if they somehow come across them, but they can't interact/reblog them- at all. The only way people would even know you've blocked them is if they find that they get denied permission to interact with your blog- but remember, the chances of the finding out that youve blocked them is VERY slim, if it even happens at all (though remember we're talking about bots here though, not actual people, I just thought it would be useful information to include anyway).
Alright, so now onto reporting someone. Reporting someone means that:
The account will receive an email stating that they've posted banned content and must take it down. Tumblr will then still automatically take it down, and the account either gets suspended or deleted.
I would say that reporting the s*x bots would be the best thing you can do in this situation (you can still block them afterwards), seeing as the account will hopefully then be taken down (instead of just blocked on your blog) after being reviewed, which could help keep Tumblr at least a little safer once it does.
And just in case you were wondering: no-one will know if you've reported their account. The only way they'll know they've been reported (and they won't know who reported them) is if their content gets taken down or if their account is deleted- so don't worry about people accusing you of reporting them, as Tumblr keeps it anonymous anyway.
(Again, I've only added that part as useful information, seeing as s*x bots aren't real people and therefore won't care if they've been blocked or reported.)
There's more information about reporting and blocking people, along with Tumblr's policies and guidelines here, if you need it:
https://iheartmob.org/resources/safety_guides/tumblr_guide
Right... so I think that just about covers everything I wanted to say. If there's anything I've gotten wrong, or you think you could add on to, just drop a note or reblog this to help. After all, I don't know everything about these s*x bots, and just writing from my experience and what I've noticed about them. So help and/or additional information would be greatly appreciated.
I'm just fed up of seeing them everywhere and them making me think I've got a new follower who's actually interested in the blogs I make, when it's actually just a not trying to take me to some random p*rn website. It's wrong. So I just decided to write about my frustrations.
Now, Tumblr, if you could please sort your shit out, that'd be great, thank you very much, and we can all get on with our day.
If you've read this far, thank you very much for your time, and I hope I've managed to help you at least somewhat when it comes to dealing with these types of things in the future, or maybe just given you a little more awareness about how to stay safe on Tumblr, and other similar sites.
Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful day, and that you stay safe. Happy new year, too! 💛💙
#awareness#f*cking bots and where to find them#yeah#that was a pun#I'm sorry#reblog#spread the word about these#bots#please help#others find this#safe#issues#Tumblr#report#and block#any potential#please#oh#and#Happy New Year#by the way#2021#is here
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Oc-tober Day 7: Fear
Hoohoo i suck at shading :'0 The second pic was the firdt concept art I drew of these gals. Then came the pencil sketches and lastly the one on top.
I've already got a Quickie summary of this story in my writing blog explaining who these characters are and what's going on, link HERE. So for this piece, I'll write the scene I drew lol. In it, only Kylee and the Wrath kid are left, but before they get a showdown, God gives them one last mercy. A night without worries. Anything they want, they will grant. Btw, I have decided on official names for these gals. Kylee the fangirl and Paloma the patient ghost.
~~~~
This was it.
Tomorrow, everything was bound to come to an end.
It felt unreal to Kylee. How far she's come, her numerous near death experiences, how nice their room was. God really knew how to treat em when they weren't being careless.
Still, God's assurance of a last peaceful night was a load off their shoulders. A blessing, you might even say.
Chevre left the scene immediately, deciding to spend their last day as a ghost doing their own kooky things. They felt robbed for not dying sooner to do it.
That left Kylee and Paloma, the original duo, to spend the night alone. Just like the good ol days.
They tried the hot tub, snacked on expensive sweets, watched Kylee's favorite episodes of her favorite shows, and had a great time.
Just like normal girls their age would spend a sleepover.
When it got super late, the magic of the tranquility was wearing off. Reality settled back in. Tomorrow was the end. No more fighting, no more floating. The ghosts would be reborn and someone new would be God.
A child. Both contestants left were underage.
And they had to fight eachother to the death. Kylee and Paloma agreed that if she won, she would pick older candidates next time. No kid should go through what she's gone.
Circling back to the competition, they talked about their opponent and his many helpers. They'd seen how ruthless he was. Opportunistic and never one to hesitate. He was a tough rival for sure.
Kylee got quiet for a bit, and Paloma squeezed her shoulder.
"Come on, cookie. Let's sleep early."
They snuggled onto the bed. Two had been accommodated for them, but they were used to sleeping in the same one. It was their piece of comfort.
After settling down, Kylee worded her next question carefully. She had already asked it before, when she first saw Paloma as a ghost, but it didn't hurt to have the answer retold.
What was it like to die?
Paloma stiffened. Her eyes softened. Her voice cracked a bitter smile.
"It hurts. Especially when you start struggling back. But once it's done, all you get is wave after wave of relief. Like when you ace a test you didn't study for." She laughed. It ended breathily.
Kylee didn't like her expression. She had seen it come up a lot in the past few days. And she knew exactly what it meant. She brought Paloma closer and held her face. Looking into her eyes, she asked as quietly as she could.
"... have you regretted it?"
Paloma shivered. Her eyes burst. She whimpered, and Kylee immediately brought her to her chest, letting her cry. Not a single tear stained her shirt.
"I was... So sure I did the right thing..."
"You did..."
Kylee remembered those first days. How surprisingly proud she seemed to have taken her own life. To be done with life and humanity. But as time wore on, her sentiments changed.
"I couldn't help it... I wondered... What would have happened if..."
She paused as sge choked on her words. Kylee gave her a pat. "It's ok..."
"No, it's not!" Paloma got up, her face a darker shade. "We could have been a team. We could have stuck together for as long as we could. Or- I could have been in your shoes right now. I could have been the one that made it to the end. Instead of putting all this pressure.... For you to do the right things."
Paloma was calming down, she rubbed her eyes. Kylee helped brush a tear from her cheek.
"I'm sorry I died so fast."
The words stung. Kylee wasn't taking this.
"Don't say that! If one of us is the bad one... It's... Me."
Kylee rubbed her arm. Paloma shook her head. "Not this again, Kylee-"
"I was a jerk. I admit it. I knew what was going on with you but I never stepped in. Really, Palo," Kylee started hyperventilating. Paloma rushed to embrace her. Their roles had effectively switched.
"If I had reached out to you sooner... If I was more involved... Someone better..." Kylee took Paloma's hand. Together, they squeezed them.
"If I was someone like you..."
"Stop it..."
So many what ifs lingered in their minds. So many paths they could have taken. Together.
But here they were, stuck. One as a ghost and the other possibly becoming a deity. About to fight for the right to be.
"Atleast... I got to show you my favorite stores. .." Paloma laughed at the memory of Kylee dragging her around unwillingly.
"We didn't even buy anything. You just had us people watch the entire day."
"But you had a good time anyways, didn't you?" The smiles are back. Paloma tilts her head and rests it on Kylee's shoulder.
"I did..."
While her death was premature, she had to count the small blessing that was her ability to stick to Kylee as a ghost. She got to see more than the bubble she knew. She got to make friends. And...
Kylee couldn't help the kiss she gave Paloma's forehead. Paloma's face burst and she laughed.
She got to feel so loved.
"Okay, Ms. God, settle back down. Tomorrow is... A big day."
Kylee snickered as she laid back down, Paloma following. After another small silence, Kylee's big mouth continued asking.
"If I win... What kind of life do you want?"
They hadn't touched the topic of Paloma's reincarnation.
The reality of her living without Kylee was too much.
Still, now that it was a serious possibility... This was a talk they needed to have. Paloma moved away a bit.
"Well, you're so creative Kylee, I'm sure you'll give me the best life..."
"But... I want to know what YOU want!"
Paloma was stunned for a bit, touched. Kylee really cared for her opinion. The selfish onlooker she first met was long gone.
"I'm being honest..." Paloma looked away. "I want whatever you give me. I trust you."
Kylee's stomach sank. She felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, now more than ever.
Paloma looked back at Kylee's serious expression, and she laughed some more. This was too serious for their last night together. "Stop worrying about it, cookie." She laid back down ans snuggled to her side. "Worry about surviving tomorrow. Only you can guarantee me that happy ending."
Kylee's gut sank further. It was the truth, but the pressure was on. She watched Paloma close her eyes and over time, drift away, her sleep as sound as when she was alive.
But Kylee couldn't follow, couldn't even stand to blink. Her anxiety was at an all time high. She had to win. She had to make it up to Paloma. She would be a good god, and rule like her girlfriend would.
Kylee's eyes watered again, mourning prematurely the departure to come. She looked to the ceiling. She would make Paloma happy. She knew her favorite foods, her favorite books, her favorite everything. She would give her the world on a platter, make her have the most fulfilling life. From wealth, to friends, to health and romance. Romance.
Yes.
Kylee was a multishipper. Kylee knew people could mesh well with more than one person. She could find Paloma another lover, a better one!
She would be fine.
Her stomach's knots stayed in place, no matter how long she repeated that phrase.
Yeah, Paloma would be fine.
But Kylee wouldn't.
Kylee had gotten what she wanted.
She would be alone now. Free from societal conventions. Free to do what she wanted. Free to people watch, free to bend wills, free to mess around and turn her ideas into reality.
She will find her own happiness. Somehow. The sentiment felt hollow in her chest.
Panic set in again.
What was she doing? What had she done?
She turned and looked at Paloma's face once more.
If she didn't win... There would be no more world. No more Kylee. No more Paloma.
These were her only options. Stay alone forever, or lose everything.
For the first time since the start of the game, she felt afraid of the outcome.
#traditional art#October#Oc tober#Oc-tober#Ocs#Kylee#Paloma#God is a fangirl#Digital art#oc tober day 7#My art#Lesbians#Ace#Asexual#Kylee is ace lol i have decided#Paloma is too#Ace queens#Cries#Original writing
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jenkai discourse in retrospection
(long post)
to take a slightly more light hearted break from all the updates regarding the burning sun case, I propose a discourse of jxk in retrospection after gaining all the new knowledge exposed by the media recently
dont read if you dont want to, if you read please dont come attack me for posting what I want on my own blog 🥰
In no way is what I type facts, and I am NOT comparing burning sun case with jxk (jxk is so insignificant and jxk is not a criminal case) yet I will make references to what the media and companies are capable of doing as proven by the exposure from the b. sun case regarding similar behaviours.
---
we now know that the kpop world is not what some once thought - an ideal fairytale land where idols/ the media never lie to us.
The truth:
We finally realize for sure that in korean ent. industry, sexual favours (in exchange for sponsors, promotion via media manipulation, basically fame and safety), offering prostitutes services... all in all using SEX is commonly used in return for connections / power / protection from the 'higher ups'.
why did jxk happen?
I propose: to cover yg x jni sex/sexual activities and jni has sponsors rumours (updated). After knowing yg is to a certain degree (personal assumption: large extent) involved in B.Sun and gangnam clubs, it makes sense to suspect that the jni rumour could be real. look up yg's past history, how he obtained his wife (emphasis, obtain). 12 years older yg 'fell in love' the moment he saw his wife as a second year middle school girl, recruited her at 16, ruined her career and married her. who knows how exactly yg treats his younger girl employees? Who is there to protect them?
but its just a 'groundless' rumour why was yg desperate?
to propose reasons: 1) it could be real, if so he HAS to camouflage it before it blows up further. 2) even if its not real, he didnt want to put bp's and his own name's reputation at stakes since bp is his most money earning group right now 3) if he doesnt make a deal with dispatch, who ofc are capable of digging deeper and they hate yg (proven by their ability to obtain kkt chats and exposing b.sun evidences) to supply them a fake scandal to cover ygxjni... dispatch WILL expose him. (also keep in mind jni has other sponsor rumour that might or not be true). and 4) - suggested by anon: yg could be taking precautions before b.sun scandal blows up. As we know b.sun revolves around sex crimes, Yg must get rid of the 'boss had sex with employee' label before b.sun blows up. Or else he will get dragged, it would be like adding oil on fire.
this theory is reinforced by allshitpop stating a media outlet discriminately announced 'the yg x jni rumour was false.' why purposefully mention it when no one asked?
but why ji?
main reason: hes an artist from sm. Yg desperately needed a scandal impacting enough to satisfy dispatch (releasing small unconvincing sandals will discredit dispatch's liability and reputation. ) But what to do when none of yg's male artists are popular enough to create a fuss nor any male groups's careers mature and stable enough to withstand the scandal pressure from the general public? the obvious solution is ofc to beg other big companies - sm or bighxt.
Most popular boy groups atm is still btx and ekso. honestly yg wouldve prefered btx due to their crazy fame, and jni will be their first dating scandal... the reactions would be DRAMATIC. yet in contrast to ekso, btx didnt really need to take that risk in hopes for more popularity. (rmb there would always be adverse effects when being involved in a dating scandal despite positive reactions and large no. of supporters). Also, even if btx has any scandals to cover, bighxt's recent merge with cj-enm (described as 'a powerhouse' aka very huge powerful company) means btx's any potential scandals can be taken care of for now. so that leaves ekso.
Who in ekso fits ji's image the most?
(hence will recieve 'positive' reactions and make them more aesthetically believable. without a doubt, its ji and his on going promoted sex appeal.) Reasons for ji and not other members: 1. theres no harm in giving him a beard (personal belief, ignore point 1. if you think homosexuality/kaisoo pairing isn't plausible) 2. to raise his popularity for his potential upcoming solo. 3. if someone who was involved in dating scandal before came up again, they probably predicts the pairing to be more positively recieved --> more supportors and a more hyped response from the public.
but none of that happened, the scandal was managed poorly. The paris evidence was made in a rush (dates didnt match) park pictures were too ambiguous (again dates and time didnt match), even when dispatch posted a pic of ji in a carpark supposedly came back from hawaii to give jni presents after landing - we learned from ji's own ig live that the day he wore the outfit in the photo, he had already returned to korea a few days ago, was around town shopping and went no where near the airport. Besides these failed attempts there was absolutely no other proof that jxk is real.
why was it poorly managed?
bc this is a rare collab between two big rival companies. Yg was the one begging at the start yet sm wasnt able to take full control of this scandal. Conflicts and disagreements upon makng many decisions were highly likely to occur between these two rivals.
The break up
a lot of fans were shocked when jxk broke up just after 25 days. (brand new record). what else is weird?
sm personally confirmed jxk broke up abruptly. Usually when couples break up, fan rumours start to float around first. But not this time, no rumours surfaced yet sm all of a sudden definitively stated that jxk broke up. Back then I already predicted it maybe because yg or bp got into trouble hence sm wanted to distance themselves as far as possible. I still stand by that idea.
Sm must get away from yg and b.sun case for the sake of theirs/ekso's reputation. sm def dont want to be dragged into the mess. Remember, sm as a huge company themselves def have their own dirt to hide, getting dragged means huge consequences if the investigators target them.
so why did sm agree in the first place? I assume its bc altho sm knew that yg had dirt to hide, they did not know it was something as serious, severe and big as b.sun case / tax evading case. Therefore, what are the coincidences that sm announced breakup shortly before dispatch sparked reinvestigation into b.sun by posting crucial evidences? (the first chats)
its highly possible that dispatch warned sm, (which makes them sound like the good guys but no. remember sm is dispatch's source of money and partnered with them many times. b.sun indeed aint directly related to sm, (as for now) dispatch has no reason to ruin sm) Or, sm could have found out through other sources that b.sun case will blow up soon. they quickly cut their collab with yg early, and announced break up probably without telling yg first. (since telling them possibly means giving dispatch away).
this also suggests that dispatch hates yg but anyway.
The benefits of ji
Comparing the two, jni seems to be the one who gained more from the scandal. She got most of media and the public's attention. there is an explanation for this - shes the 'rookier' one, and the trendier one out if the two since bp is still rising when ekso has reached their plateau. However, ji did gain his own lesser share of attention (indicated by the gained followers on his ig).
I have always said that when idols agree to be involved in a scandal, they are likely to get a 'reward.' but now thinking about it, agreeing to scandals is part of ji's contract, rewards are bonus but not obligations. Besides, the scandal itself supposedly helps ji gain popularity for solo and gains a beard, sm didnt NEED to give him more bonus. Often when idols get more modelling jobs / solo etc after scandals is bc sm uses the risen populairty from scandal as an opportunity to maximise profit by giving them more jobs, it might not be bc sm wants 'pamper' them.
Plan cut short
unfortunately for ji who is not getting his solo soon, the jxk plan flopped due to poor management, and was cut short due to b.sun case. The scandal did not fulfill what it was supposed to do and ended prematurely . Followed by the apparent troubles in sm negotiating contract terms with ekso, (delayed ekso schedules),chxn suddenly getting a solo, and the blowing up of b.sun case, ji might have missed his chance again. Or hes simply still preparing.
to summarize i want to clarify a few things.
- none of these are facts, but an overall picture forming one huge speculation.
- I dont try to defame bp or shame them. i also am not trying to state that girl artists def had sex with the hihgher ups. b.sun has shown us that men always have more power over women, and they rarely get protection.
- I want people to realize the dark side of kpop. The kpop industry is full of conspiracies, media manipulation and lies. What you see on tv is not who your idols are portrayed to be on camera. Don't impose your ideal vision on them and hurt others when reality suggests otherwise.
side note: this theory conveyed reinforcement to statements I've made before
- conspiracies are real and true. Look at all the dark and shady events involved in b.sun case
- media play, mass manipulation exist and are common practice.
- dispatch and sm collab and are partners on a case by case basis.
- idols lie on interviews all the time, their tv persona is different from the real them.
- companies offer protection for their idols
- it is indeed common practice to use one scandal to cover another
ANYTHING can happen in the world of the k ent industry. dont lightly dismiss any possibilities. We must analyse the sum of the situations - the full picture of any events before believing anything we are told.
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Hi, I love this blog! It's very helpful. I'm just curious, how are you getting these pictures from weibo? I've tried looking through some dress up games weibo before, and I manage to get pretty far using the mobile version, but eventually the endless scroll stops working and it just repeats a page endlessly. I've never seen some of the ones you've been posting!
Thank you so much! I’m always happy to hear that it’s helpful; that’s why I’m writing it after all. ;)
I’m sorry this took so long. I had to experiment a lot to see what would work and what wouldn’t and, honestly, it seems super random to me but here we are. Also, it needs to be said: whoever decided to make image heavy sites scroll endlessly needs to be cursed to always spill stuff on their clothes because it’s so obnoxious.
Real quick: If anyone else wants to chime up with something else that works, feel free; all I ask is that you test first because there used to be a couple things that worked but now don’t, so I think weibo changed some stuff.
Okay! So finally onto answering the actual question! It should be noted that although this isn’t necessarily complicated, a lot needs to be explained about the different versions and how they work, so please bear with me and, yes, that’s why there’s read more. There are several different versions of the weibo site that you can use, often dependent on whether or not the site is .com or .cn. All of these sites will need to have LN’s user ID put in after .com or .cn: /u/5396121198. So weibo(dot)cn/u/5396121198.
Firstly, you never want to go to the mobile version. That always has infinite scroll enabled because logic! (If the address is m.weibo that’s the mobile site and you don’t want to be there.) This means that if you’re on your phone, you’ll need to enable desktop mode so the browser pulls up a desktop version of the site. The desktop version isn’t going to look great on your phone because the pics are all going to be a lot smaller than would be preferable, but you can always zoom in and/or click to see the pictures in full HD. (I’ll talk a bit about the latter at the end of this.)
The .cn version via my PC is my personal preferred version. It’s incredibly simple, it’s easy to get to and save the high definition pics, I can easily bookmark which page I was on last, and it always works unlike the .com version. However, no matter what you use to go to .cn, PC or phone, you’ll need a weibo account. When I signed up for a weibo account, I had to give them my phone number; there was no problem giving them my US version and there were no random charges to my phone so I didn’t have any issues. However I understand if that makes you uncomfortable. If you really want to go to this version but don’t want to give out your real number, I’d recommend getting something like google voice. However, if you really don’t want a to make an account you can instead go to the .com version of the site, however...
I’ve had a lot of trouble with .com version; sometimes it will let you on without logging but more often it will force you to log in in order to see anything. I’ve had better luck with not having to deal with logging when being on the PC but even then it still sometimes requires it. I cannot for the life of me figure out why it works sometimes and not other times, as I used incognito mode each time to make sure it worked so nothing should have changed in the interim. Sometimes opening a new tab and putting the address in there would help, but nothing consistently fixed it except just walking away and leaving it alone for a bit. However, on the off chance that it works better for you and/or that you really don’t give out your phone number, I’m putting info about it here and I hope it works better for you.
So, how to navigate the .com website. At first it may seem like infinite scroll. However, after a couple times scrolling down you’ll eventually reach the end; you can tell it’s the end because you’ll be given two options separated by a | ; the one on the left should have a number on it which if you click on it will give the option to go straight to a certain page. The one on the right is “next”. If you reach the end and instead get some text that has a comma in the middle, no | , and nothing appears to be happening, it means the site has gotten stuck loading. This happened to me several times; refresh the page (and keep refreshing if you need to) and eventually it will fix itself. (And hopefully the .com version won’t suddenly decide you need to log in.)
Now, as to seeing the pics nice and big, the .cn site is going to give you much better pictures; the .com site will never show them as large and thus as detailed as the .cn site unless you have a weibo account. (And if you have a weibo account, you should just use the .cn site and save yourself the trouble.)
So, for the .cn site, it’s going to sound complicated but it’s really not; it just takes some explaining if you can’t read Chinese. The thing with the .cn version is it won’t show you all the pics in each post. Instead you’ll been shown one pic. To figure out if there are more pics, and to see those pics, you need to look at the very end of the text of the post. If there’s a link with [brackets] around it, that means there is more than the pic you’re seeing. Click that and it will take you to page with a all the pictures on it. In order to see them in detail, you want to click on the characters directly to the right of the image. It sounds like a lot but it’s really simple when you actually do it. If you don’t see a link with [brackets] around it but want to see that single pic in HD, if you look directly to the right of the pic (not below it; directly to the right), you’ll see a link. Click that and you’ll be taken that the HD version of that single pic.
For the .com version you, each post will show you all the pictures that are in that post. If you click on this image it will show you a larger image. Now, there is an option to see the image even larger (the link with the magnifying glass above the large pic) but, as far as I could tell, you need a weibo account in order to see that version. So, basically, the only way to get the really good pics is to get a weibo account and use the .cn version, although the .com option is (sometimes) a second option.
I hope this was helpful and I’m really sorry it got so long and took so long to answer, but due to the way weibo decided to do things, there’s a lot of different thing that need to be taken into account.
#love nikki#love nikki game#love nikki dress up queen#lnduq#miracle nikki#anon#q and a#cn server#seriously though#infinite scroll on mobile is the worst
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1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.
So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)
But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.
They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.
But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.
But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.
But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.
Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.
God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷♀️ so who gives a crap.
These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful
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Nong Khai, Thailand
Saturday, March 14, 2015
At 7:00am Saksay came to get us and drop Colette and I off at the van depot so we could travel with Nong to Udon Thani and then on to Nong Khai to meet up with him and the four girls who went in his car. We paid 160 baht each (about $7.50 Cdn) to make the 3.5 hour journey north to the border and what would be the first glimpse of the Mekong River.
This was very exciting for me because I have known Saksay pretty much for as long as I can remember and I my limited understanding up to this point is that his family had escaped across the Mekong River in 1974 to get away from war torn Laos. I have a much better understanding of his trip to Canada now and am so much richer for getting to know this side of Saksay. He is an amazing person and I can only say that what he is doing to show us around is not easy for him and that it is a very self less thing he is doing. Traveling by yourself is one thing...adding another 6 people into your winter "escape", like he is doing...is a whole different experience.
He brought us to a little alleyway right behind the walking street where the night market is held each Saturday evening. We walked down and found a guest house that was able to accommodate our family of six in a traditional Thai house. It came complete with two king size bed's, so we are tripling up in each bed. I unfortunately have Colette and Madeline in my bed… Which makes for a pretty rest less night! They are definitely the two most interesting sleepers in our household and I'm stuck with them!! LOL. The cost of this little slice of Thai "paradise" is 1000 Baht/night ( about $40).
Time for an epiphany from Colette and I quote her words. "We are definitely learning to adapt to a whole different set of standards, in order to do the things that are becoming important to us, to make each of our dreams possible. " I must remind her of that the next time we have another livestock scare...oh... here is more, she wanted me to add this also.
Also from Colette "I think the biggest thing we are seeing & learning on this trip, is how people here live happily with fewer possessions , they spend their money very wisely, and they use whatever skills they have to earn money, every little bit counts. When we see what, as little as, 50 cents can buy over here, it really makes you see the value so much more. I've also gotten used to living in conditions that I first thought to be very uncomfortable and I now have a deeper understanding for how lucky we are in Canada." Erik's interpretation..." WOW, life is going to be more appreciated when going home...no bugs...and I probably won't buy anymore stuff because I am so happy with what I have" Hee Hee LOL. Probably get in trouble for this!! JK
Colette is right. We have learned how to be content and happy wherever we are. With much or with little. I am so impressed with all my girls and how adaptable we are all becoming. Other than the stress that accompanies trying to get 5 women moving out the door I believe we might be starting to squabble less. I definitely can say that we are one close family and that we are having a ton of fun with Saksay and Nong.
Back to our Nong Khai trip. After we got settled in our guesthouse and had a bit of a rest we went to have lunch and see the indoor covered market. More rest and then we ventured back out in the evening to see the night market which had absolutely taken over the walking street. This is where we ate our supper, managed to snag about a dozen free Pepsi's and watch some entertainment. Some was good, some was just bad. I will post a video of the "good" and just explain that the bad takes English humor to a whole new level of sexual perversion that would have been best left in someone's head!! The Thais seemed to flock to the "bad" and Saksay said it is comedy!! Let's just say I fear Peter Saunders may have enjoyed it!! Yikes.
After that it was off to bed because Saksay said he would be here to get us at 8:00 to go for an outing. True to his style that was the understatement of this Nong Khai trip. What he did was ferry us (it takes two trips in his Opal Swift (Geo Metro) to take us anywhere) to one of the most amazing thing I may have ever seen. It was right up there with my trip to Casa Loma in Toronto. We went to Sala Kaeo Kou and it was amazing. Things are so different here. Where else could your climb to the third floor of the museum part of the temple and see the mummified remains of the person who put this together.
Here is the story I was told...I probably will not Google this but choose to believe this account of Sala Kaeo Kou (which is probably correct). The wealthy Laotian man responsible for this had wanted to build it in Laos but was not allowed so he came to Thailand and created it. The communist Laos party had him killed before he was able to finish it (I don't think he intended to ever really finish it, given the magnitude of what he was creating) and the Thai government chose to keep it in this unfinished state. They charge about $.80 Cdn to help with the upkeep of the grounds. Absolutely astounding. For those of you following us @ our https://instagram.com/thailand_adventure_2015/ page you have seen some of the pics already.
Here are the way the workers were cutting foliage out of one of the monuments. They had first set up a ladder barely high enough to hack off the first tree that had started to grow out of a part of the monument before finding 2 VERY long pieces of bamboo that the worker was going to tie himself off to and shinny up to the very top to get the last tree hacked back. I estimate it was about 6 stories high...definitely not up to Canadian safety standards. Not that I am at all in favor of the ridiculous rules we have at home but this may have been easier with a lift of some sort!! We left before I was able to witness the (I hope) successful accomplishment of this task.
After the two trip ferrying of the Lee's ( and Nong) back to our guesthouse for a nap Saksay had another treat up his sleeve. He took us to the big Nong Khai night market over by the train station where we bought Hailey a new pair of Crocs and another soccer jersey and short set. She looks absolutely adorable in these and now has 2. Her crocs were to replace the set she was wearing which had a hole worn right through the bottoms...yes she has been walking ALOT.
He wasn't done yet though and for the foodies out there this one would have been right up your alley. We went to a traditional Korean BBQ where we were totally out of our comfort zone to start with. They put a propane fired grill/cauldron on the table and you go up to the buffet and grab whatever you want to cook yourself. It would not be an exaggeration to say that we only recognized a third of these "potential" ingredients...but with help from our benevolent tour director we were soon on our way to creating a masterpiece of supper. I was the most adventurous trying a lot of the available food, including shrimp, stuffed squid, 3 types of mushrooms (including the apply named pigs ears that grow as tree fungus), bacon wrapped straw mushrooms, side pork, chicken, beef, glass noodles, Chinese spinach, cabbage and to finish it off...self serve hard ice cream. Why don't you comment and ask Emma what it feels like the morning after when you eat 4 bowls of ice cream!?!
2 Opal trips later and home we were to get ready for the monumental VISA run. Monumental because this is officially a milestone in our trip. We have been in Thailand for exactly 2 months. What a blessing to be able to experience this trip.
Well I think Colette will write the blog entry for our trip to Laos tomorrow so stay tuned...
Hailey's quote of the day, "Here dad let me give you a kiss...(smack's a kiss on my cheek)...there now I'm married." To who I ask. "Daaaad,to you of course!!"
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Hi! I'm a Jungkook stan I've always seen him as a top. But now I've been looking more closely and I've noticed that even though many people say he's a top, he really seems like a bottom. My friend told me about this blog and said that you're really good at explaining Jungkook "bottom-ness"? Lol I just want to be more open minded when it comes to Kookie. Do you mind explaining a bit? Like with each member? If it's not too much to ask. Thank you! Lovely account :)
Hello! I’m so sorry I delayed this response so much. I knew I would take awhile to fully discuss this and I didn’t have much time lately, so I put it off. Please forgive me.
But welcome, fellow Jungkook stan! First time here? Sorry I’m a dork haha. Anyways, thank you for taking the time to come ask me this. It’s great that you’re expanding your horizons haha. The reasons I’m about to give are solely based on opinion and preference. I’m not saying either preference is wrong, just saying my point of view because you wanted to know why some people see him as a bottom (aka me). I’m lowkey laughing at the “good at explaining Jungkook bottom-ness” because my trashiness is really obvious. This is going to be really long, so it’ll be under the read more!
I’ve said this before, but I’m not exactly sure how I became a bottom Jungkook stan. It may have been the fics I first read when I just got into BTS or the videos of fetus Kookie I’ve seen way in the beginning. Many of the top Jungkook fics I’ve seen contain tropes and characterizations that I do not personally like. I see a lot of asshole!Jungkook, badboy!Jungkook, emotionally constipated!Jungkook, etc. You probably know what I mean. Again, I personally really do not like these portrayals. Why? Jungkook is a sweetheart, a natural cutie, a shy bun in real life and I AM WEAK. Ahem, sorry. I don’t know if it’s just me, but it hurts for me to see my bias written as the bad guy, the one that the other character needs protecting from, the inhumanly strong one who doesn’t have feelings. It hurts to see pre-established tags in AO3 regarding his “assholery.” I’m not kidding, if you type “jungkook” into AO3 tags, ‘Jungkook is emotionally constipated’ ‘Jungkook is an asshole’ ‘Jungkook is a douche’ and more are already tags. This portrayal of him as an unfeeling, cold douchbag is SO widespread. And a lot of these negative traits are associated with him being on top. Now, I’m NOT saying all top kook fics are like this. That’s highly unrealistic. If you write top Kook well and balanced, that’s great! But a lot that I do see, do contain those traits I mentioned. Jungkook is actually quite emotional (said it himself) and sensitive. He’s considerate and shows his affection/support more through actions because he’s not good at putting his feelings into words.
Now, onto why I prefer bottom Jungkook. Part of this has to do with the fics, I admit. If you’ve ever read Graesun’s (bottomkook on tumblr) fics if you’re a Jikook shipper or Xiajin’s (j-ungah on tumblr) fics it you’re a Sugakookie shipper or Rix’s (crossfilth on tumblr) if you’re a taekook shipper, you know how good bottom Jungkook is written. Their relationships are balanced, and mutual, and hell, Jimin, Yoongi, and Taehyung aren’t portrayed as asshole doms okay? They’re not! Jimin is an amazing, caring top. Yoongi is a more subtle sweet, but just as caring top. Taehyung is playful, but considerate. Usually, USUALLY, they’re not written the way Jungkook is written as a top. Even if the fic has dom/sub undertones, the top isn’t some major unfeeling robot that can only hurt.
Secondly, as a Jungkook stan, I am naturally biased to like seeing Jungkook being taken care of. That normally works out pretty well for me considering his hyungs adore him and take care of him all the time. Bangtan’s baby am I right? This also translates into me loving when he’s treated well in fics. I don’t mean babied necessarily, I just mean treated like he’s worth it, like he’s precious and lovable, like he’s just as deserving of affection as his partner. In real life, he gives and gives to his hyungs and he doesn’t ask for anything back. He’s supportive but also so critical of himself. He’s been more open with showing affection now, so we can see a bit of how much he loves his members. And there’s a reason why they love him back so, so, so much. No matter how much he grows, they’ll always treat him as their beloved youngest. And you can tell that he still needs to be taken care of and guided around.
For example, you could see a lot of this in Bon Voyage. Jimin feeding him, tucking him in, and a heck of a lot more. Hoseok petting his hair and holding his hand. Yoongi and Hoseok letting him shower first. Jin holding him and playing with him. There’s a LOT of moments when they all just take care of him so well and I feel like he needed that kind of care since he debuted at such a young age. All of them let him get away with things not even other maknaes get away with. They’re really soft on him and god, do those fond smiles shine.
Fic-sise, I feel like he needs guiding as well. He’s the youngest. As much as he wants to be a sensual on stage (and well, yeah he is, good job bun), he’s most likely quite inexperienced and really not much of a sex god off stage at all. He immediately goes back to his cute, natural bun-ness and this is why so many Jungkook stans get whiplash and/or are in denial. Okay, back to fics lol. I see it as his partner taking the lead because he feels more comfortable that way. He can relinquish the control he tries so hard to maintain and just let go. He lets himself be taken care of and wow, does he love the treatment. HE LOVES BEING TAKEN CARE OF FIGHT ME. Seriously though, as much as he denies it, you can actually see how much he likes being babied and treated nicely. Hell, he likes being called baby more than oppa.
Here are a few links to other instances where I further discuss the top/bottom thing. Strangely a lot of them have to do with jikook….
HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE (lol this one is me being salty), HERE (something I reblogged from a person who really condensed this). I do recommend reading these as they’re more concise versions and I give more reasoning (and pics!).
As you can see, I’ve gotten a lot of asks about this.
You may be able to tell, but I do prefer bottom Jungkook with all my Kook ships. With Jimin, I love seeing him being a really caring, gentle top with Jungkook (playing into that lovely hyung dynamic). Jimin is an amazing hyung and he really does look out for Jungkook. With Taehyung, they’re the meme duo which means it’s a lot more playful but Tae can also be really serious and mature. And of crows we have Yoongi hyung who Jungkook toes the boundaries with (because he can that little shit) but still gives control too. Jin and Hobi, who he can play with but also rely on as a hyung. Namjoon who is his trusted leader and the one he admires to the heavens and back.
Anyways, I hope I’ve answered your ask sufficiently. If you still have questions, please feel free to leave me another message. Thank you for visiting my blog!
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Where The Wild Roses Grow - An August Walker Story - 2
You can find part 1 on my masterlist
Pairing: August Walker x OFC (Fern)
Summary: Don't screw the crew? This doesn't work for August Walker
Warnings: Smut, Sex, 18+, NSFW, unprotected sex, oral sex (f and m receiving), kinda soft August
Unbeta'ed! English is not my mother tongue, so please be lenient with me
Disclaimer: I don't own August Walker (but he owns me...)
Pics for the header taken from Pinterest.
Taglist: (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights
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Fern
"Morning, Fern." August and Peter greet me in unison on this Thursday morning before they go straight to Pete's office where a potential client's already waiting for them.
I've always hated my name. It's so old fashioned and boring, it's a name for an old spinster, not for a woman my age. I would use my second name if it wasn't even worse. Prudence. I mean, come on...you have to admit that's dreadful. But if you'd known my parents you wouldn't be surprised.
When I was born my mother was already 45 years old, my father even 49. After 20 years of trying in vain they'd given up on hoping for a child but then my mum got pregnant with me. They were very religious, god-fearing people and when they finally held me in their arms it was a miracle, a blessing, God's gift to them and they always treated me accordingly, like a precious treasure they had to hide from the bad world outside. They loved me dearly but this love was so overpowering it almost stifled me. I never went to school, my mum home-schooled me, which was okay, I didn't miss anything but then again, you can't miss something you don't know I guess.
I was a shy child and so in some way I was glad that I didn't have to interact with other kids. I only had one good friend. Her name was Kayla and she and her parents lived next door. Her family couldn't have been more different from mine, her dad was a dentist, mine was a carpenter, her mum was a teacher, mine was a housewife, she had three older brothers, I was an only child, their house was bright and modern, always open for everyone, ours was a dark victorian building, very cosy and beautifully furnished but with a forbidding appearance on the outside, so besides Kayla we hardly ever had any visitors and my parents liked it that way.
When I went to college it was really hard for them and one hell of a fright for me. I went through a culture shock and it was quite the ride but luckily I had Kayla by my side. She could have gone to better colleges but she decided we'd go to Virginia together to visit the William & Mary. We had a great time there and I had a lot to catch up on and that's what I did. Parties, alcohol, sex...it was a whole new world for me but thanks to Kayla I didn't get lost, she made me find a balance between celebrating and studying and I will always be grateful for her patience with me. She's still my best friend, my only friend actually and we're in close contact although she's a district attorney in Texas now and I'm in London.
But I don't want to bore you with my past. I guess you want to know more about my life here and now. Well, it's not that interesting either. As I said I hardly do anything more than work, eat and sleep but I've started to take piano lessons and I really like it. It goes better than I had expected, my teacher is a very friendly elderly woman called Mary. Boooo….still boring, you say? We'll there's something about those lessons that's not so boring. I...oh wait, there comes August. Gotta get back to work.
"We did it, Fern." A big, smug grin appears on his handsome face. "They signed the contract. We're gonna celebrate this, when Pete's back."
"Congratulations. That's a big deal."
"It is. A real big fish. If they recommend us in their line of business other deals are gonna follow, this could be our final break-through."
"Does this mean I get a salary rise?" I ask with a smirk.
"Sure. The three of us worked very hard for this. You will have your fair share. "
"What?" I ask with a seductive smile. "Just like that? No negotiations?"
August pulls me close with a mischievous grin. "You want to negotiate, pretty?" He whispers in my ear, sliding his hands under my skirt.
"I'd love to. Where did Pete go and how long will he be gone?" I wrap my arms around his neck.
"I told him to get some champagne and oysters."
"I hate oysters." I pout.
"Forget the oysters, we have 20 minutes."
He hooks his thumbs into the sides of my silken panties and pulls them down slowly so I can step out of them. He tries to lift me up but I wriggle out of his hands.
"Let me reward you for your success and earn my salary rise properly." I give him a sexy smile and drop to my knees. August raises his eyebrows and nods in approval.
"Yeah, use that pretty mouth of yours."
I open his fly and get out his half-hard dick. After a few strokes he's fully erect and his size and girth never seize to amaze me. August Walker has the most beautiful cock I've ever seen. Just looking at it makes me wet and my pussy throb. I start to lick the tip slowly, teasing him and I love the way he moans and grabs me by my hair to make me take him in my mouth. I obey and wrap my lips around his shaft, popping my head up and down. I suck him off like I know he loves it, taking him as deep as possible. His breath goes short now and he's gasping and panting, his head leaning against the wall, his eyes are closed. I know he's not gonna cum, he never comes first, always makes sure to satisfy me before he reaches his high and so I'm not surprised when he suddenly pulls out and gets on his knees too.
He kisses me, which is unusual but he seems to love to taste himself on my tongue. He makes me lay down on my back and then he fucks me missionary style. He doesn't do it often, he prefers doggy or railing me pressed against a wall but when he does it's fantastic. He fucks me deep and slow, rolling his hips in a smooth rhythm and I look him right in his ocean blue eyes. He hits my g-spot with every thrust and he makes me cum within minutes. After I'm done with my orgasm he sits back on his heels. "Now finish what you've started." He growls and I continue sucking him off eagerly. Now I'm the one who tastes herself on him. He grabs my hair, holds my head in place and mouthfucks me hard but not too deep. He respects my boundaries and I don't like deep throat, I tried it, but it's not my thing and he knows that. "Fuck...Fern…" He cries out my name when he comes in my mouth and I swallow every drop of his spunk, I even lick his dick clean and I know he loves the sight of me kneeling in front of him, my tongue running over his tip and shaft. He lets out a long sigh before he gets up and stuffs his dick back into his pants. With a grin he grabs my panties and throws them at me. I catch them laughing.
"You're really the best boss a woman can wish for." I give him a smirk and he chuckles. "You can stop buttering me up. You've already earned your reward."
"I'm not doing this for the money." I wiggle my eyebrows and wink at him before I go to the bathroom to freshen up.
August
Wow, this was one of the best fucks in a while. I love it when she sucks my dick. Seeing her mouth stuffed with my thick cock is such an enormous turn-on for me. She takes me so well, her lips feel so tight around my shaft and her kitten-like tongue teasing me is just the best. Only thing better is fucking her ass but that doesn't happen too often. It requires time that we usually don't have and she has to be in the right mood for a hot round of butt sex. Sorry if I sound like a sex maniac but to be honest there's not much more in my life besides fucking and working and a few hours of sleep at night. It's just Walker & Brooks SecTec and Fern. That's what my life circles around and it's good the way it is. Honest work and casual sex, a good combination if you ask me.
When Peter is back we have a glass of champagne and some oysters. Fern enjoys some sushi Pete bought for her because he somehow knew she hates oysters. We're all in a great mood and we decide that we finish work for the day and just have a good time and a nice chat before we go home.
I take another oyster and make a little show of lapping up the meat from the shell, using more tongue than necessary. I give Fern a lewd smile and she bites her lip in a way that makes my dick twitch. Pete just smirks, raises his glass and speaks a toast. "Here's to the future. May it be successful and may it make us fucking millionaires." He giggles quite girlish, he's already drunk after just three glasses. I guess he usually doesn't drink anything but energy drinks and coffee.
"Cheers." Fern beams all over her face and I repeat her words. "Cheers."
I glance at her. Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes sparkle, she looks so sexy right now I want her again. I know it's just been an hour that I filled her with my cum but I just can't stop thinking about eating her out. I place my hand on her thigh and start stroking it under the table. She doesn't react but I know she likes it. When I let my fingers wander higher she gets up with a jolt. "Excuse me. I'll be right back." She leaves the room and I manage to wait 60 seconds before I excuse myself too. Peter rolls his eyes, knowing exactly what I'm up to but he doesn't say a word. I go straight to the ladies room where Fern is washing her hands. She's surprised to see me and before she can say a word I crash my lips on hers, kissing her feverishly. I lift her up and put her down on the edge of the sink before I get down on my knees.
"August, what are you doing, Peter's waiting for us…"
"Forget Peter, I wanna lick your pussy."
And that's what I do, I pull her panties aside and run my tongue through her wet folds slowly before I start kissing, licking and sucking her clit.
Fern stifles an aroused moan and whispers my name softly.
"God, August...we shouldn't be doing this…"
"Want me to stop?" I look up at her with a devilish grin.
"God, no…"
And so I continue to eat her out, to enjoy her smell, the taste of her flowing juices, the sound of her moans and the little shriek when she comes for the second time today. She's shaking and my dick is throbbing in my pants.
I get up and she looks at me with a fake-annoyed frown. "Boss, you're gonna be the death of me. Two times a day? Really?"
"It's the oysters." I grin. "They're known for being an aphrodisiac."
"What about you." She touches my boner that's visible in my pants.
"Don't worry. When I get home I'm gonna jerk off in the shower thinking of you. Of your sexy tits, your hot ass and your tight pussy."
She hits me on my arm. "You're such an idiot. Let's get back and try to pretend nothing's happened." She laughs light-heartedly and I love the sound of it.
"You go first. I follow in two minutes. Have to wait for my boner to soften."
Five minutes later we're back with Peter in the middle of a conversation about how well everything's going at the moment. Peter mentions that he's planning to buy a Porsche soon and Fern makes him promise to take her on a ride.
"I'm gonna order it as soon as the money from the museum is on our account." He smiles in anticipation. We have updated their security system a week ago and are expecting the incoming payment every day.
"Oh, speaking of the museum. They send you those free tickets for the Caravaggio exhibition. You're not planning to go, are you?"
"No." Peter and me say in unison. We're both not very much into art. "Do you wanna go? You can have my ticket of course." I say to Fern with a generous look on my face.
"Yeah, thanks. Actually I need both tickets."
"Both? For you and who? A suitor?" Peter asks in a teasing tone, giving her a wink.
Fern blushes a little and I wonder what's going on, she never blushes.
"Well...yeah. Something like that. I'm going on a date on Saturday."
I can't believe my ears. Did she really say she has a date? Just like this? A fucking date? I try to pull myself together and not to show my surprise but I feel the tiny frown that appears between my raised eyebrows though the rest of my face remains blank.
"A date?" I try to sound as casual as possible.
"Yeah, you may have heard of it. Two people meet and go out together to get to know each other better." Fern chuckles.
"I know what a date is." I snap.
Fern rolls her eyes. "Fine."
Peter eventually asks the question that's running around on my mind but won't come out of my mouth. "And who's the lucky guy?"
"His name is Lucas."
"Where did you meet him?" I have my face and my voice under control again.
"Oh, he takes piano lessons too but with a different teacher. We met waiting for our lessons and so we got into conversation and last week he asked me out."
"Sounds good, take my ticket and have some fun with a decent lad." Pete says, giving me a quick glance. I know he doesn't think it's a good idea that I fuck Fern, he thinks I'm going to hurt her but I don't care. It's none of his business.
"Yeah. Enjoy your date." I nod but the mood's ruined and after another fifteen minutes we decide to call it a day and go home.
~~~~
tbc
#henry cavill#cavillry#henry cavill fandom#henry cavill fanfic#august walker smut#august smut#august walker#august walker fanfiction#august walker x ofc#slow burn#sex to love#smut
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Painkiller - 8
Here we go...the next part of Painkiller's waiting for you. I have to admit I've had kind of a writer's block lately and so this was hard work but eventually I made it and I hope you like it. And please believe me, their well-deserved happy ending is just around the corner, they need just a little more time...two chapters I guess.
Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Ella)
Summary: double date / dinner for four, englightening conversations and foiled plans
Read previous parts here: Nashi's Masterlist
Warnings: RPF (!), that's it...
Unbeta'ed! English is not my mothertongue, so expect wrong spelling and bad grammar
Credits: Pics for the moodboard taken from Pinterest, Face claim Kelly: Pamela Reif
Disclaimer: I don't know Henry Cavill, this is all fictional and wishful thinking
taglist: (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights
~~~
"That was delicious, Ella." Kelly gave her a smile while she leaned back in her chair.
"Thank you, Kelly."
"You really have to give me the recipe for the lasagna and especially for that mousse au chocolat."
Henry raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You can cook?"
Ella shared a glance with Jackson and she knew they were thinking the same. If Henry didn't know such basic things about Kelly it seemed they were really just starting to get to know each other.
"Um,yes...well...a little."
"Really?"
"Yeah, we could cook together tomorrow, babe. Have a cosy day in bed and a homemade meal." She beamed at him and Henry gave her a forced smile. Ella was sure he was suppressing the need to roll his eyes, his facial expression gave it away to her.
"We'll see, Kell."
There was an awkward pause and Henry appeared to be somehow annoyed and not for the first time. During dinner Kelly was getting more and more handsy with him and it was obvious that Henry felt bad about it. Ella was getting the impression that he absolutely wasn't madly in love with Kelly and this was not only a great satisfaction but also a big relief and it made her even more determined to find out what Kelly was up to.
Jackson cleared his throat. "Henry, wanna see my Alfa? It's a 1961 Giulietta Sprint Speciale, quite rare."
"Oh yeah, sure." Henry got up and Kelly was about to do the same when Ella stopped her with a smile on her lips.
"Why don't we stay and have a little chat Kelly? Just the two of us without the guys?"
Kelly hesitated but then she agreed.
"Yeah. Why not."
When Jax and Henry closed the door behind them, Ella gave Kelly challenging look.
"So?"
"So what?" Kelly crossed her arms.
"Do I really have to ask? Or are you just gonna tell me how you made this happen? Looking back, your words spoken in the restrooms of Gianni's sound like a prediction."
Kelly pouted but eventually she started to speak.
"It's like I said back then. He's a good catch and I want him..."
"As your sugar daddy?" Ella raised an eyebrow, Kelly shrugged.
"Sugar daddy, boyfriend… where's the difference? Listen, Ella, if I'd known that you, his female best friend, are his date from back then I wouldn't be here tonight. I'm not looking for trouble…"
"But you are in trouble when you're trying to take advantage of my friend."
"Friend." Kelly snorted.
"Yes, friend. A close friend, a dear friend and you're playing with him but he's not a toy."
"I like to play and usually I'm the toy." She giggled.
Ella rolled her eyes and looked at Kelly darkly. "How did you get his number in the first place?"
"If you really have to know, Gianni, the owner of...well...Gianni's...he is my ex. He's the impotent bore I told you about. He threw me out and told me to go to hell a few weeks ago after he caught me with my trousers down with one of his waiters." Kelly explained. "I remembered Henry, to be honest I had the hots for him since I saw him at the restaurant with you and you said you and him were just friends...so after Gianni broke up with me I looked up his number in the guest register, and then I called him…"
"Pretending you dialled the wrong number."
"I could hardly tell him that I stole it from what's known as the most discreet restaurant in London"
"Right. And then you started dating?"
Kelly looked at Ella with a thoughtful frown. "Are you gonna tell him all this?"
"Would you admit it's true?"
"Of course not."
"See. I'd love to tell him but I'm quite sure you would manage to make me look like a crazy, jealous bitch…"
"Oh, I would. You can be sure of that…" Kelly gave her a wicked smile.
"I just want to know what you're up to. I don't want Henry to get hurt…" Ella faked a smile. She wanted to yell at her so badly, she wanted to force her to tell Henry the truth but she knew she had to play it nice to make her open up.
"Well, it was just booty calls at first. We just met for casual sex. Henry, he didn't want more, because he, well...nevermind. Anyway, after that pap pictures the situation has changed a little and now he's willing to give it a try. So yes, now we're dating."
"Those pics. How did that happen?"
Kelly grinned. "Let's just say a friend of mine was at the right place at the right time…"
Ella gasped. This bitch really knew how to play the game.
"Don't worry about your dear Henry, Ella." Kelly's voice was full of sarcasm now. "I like him, he's a nice and funny guy. Sure, he's a boomer and a little boring but he's great in the sheets and he's gonna learn to appreciate the mutual benefits of our relationship."
The noise of the key in the front door interrupted them. Kelly leaned in to whisper one last thing into Ella's ear. "Oh, and in case you wonder...he is really big, I mean like...really." Kelly grinned before turning away.
Ella was so incredibly frustrated when Jax and Henry entered her apartment again, she had a hard time pretending to be alright for the rest of the night. There were so many questions left, so many things she didn't understand, it drove her nuts. She decided to keep her mouth shut to prevent herself from saying something stupid and of course Henry noticed it.
"Are you okay?" He placed his hand on her arm, giving it a gentle stroke and looked at her with a frown. "You are so quiet."
Ella took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze that Henry returned with a smile.
"I'm fine." She nodded reassuringly and enjoyed the little triumph that he got handsy with her instead of Kelly. Actually it was absolutely typical for him, he was a very tactile person, not only with Ella but with his friends in general. So it was even more surprising that he didn't like to be in close contact with his date. "I'm just a little tired. I had a tough week." She avoided looking him in the eyes.
"Yeah, me too." Henry's lips curved up into a lopsided grin and he gave her a wink that made her heart skip a beat.
An hour later Henry and Kelly were gone and Ella and Jax were doing the dishes after Ella had put her best friend in the picture about the things Kelly had told her.
"She's lying. They're not really dating." Jax said, doing the drying up.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean they're not really a thing. Henry kinda said it when we were outside."
"Kinda? Could you be a little more precise." Ella looked at her friend with big eyes.
"Well, I asked him if they're planning on going insta-official or something with their relationship and he denied it very insistently, pointing out that they are totally not in a relationship. And I was like, yeah, but you guys are dating and he was like...not really."
"Oh wow...and?"
"And I asked what he meant and Henry said that it actually was just a sex thing -so that much is true- but after the pics in the yellow press Kelly's the one who now wants to date and he told me he's unsure if this is the right thing to do. He said he has second thoughts because it feels wrong and when I asked him why, he looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and said I think you know why, Jax, you know who's on my mind."
Ella now stared at him, mouth agape. "What did you answer?"
"I said that I very likely do know and then your neighbour Walter came and joined us and the conversation was over."
"Shit."
"Yeah." They both stayed silent for a moment. "Elsie, you know that you are the reason he doesn't want to date Kelly, don't you?" Jackson turned to her with knitted brows.
"We don't know that. Not for sure."
"Yes and we never will if you don't do something. Jesus, woman...you are this close to losing your perfect match to some creepy gold digger...will you really just stand there with your hands in your pockets and do nothing at all?"
"What can I do?" Her frustration was palpable.
"Just tell him how you feel, that you're in love with him."
Ella let out a snort. "That's not so easy."
"No, it's not, but there's no easy way out of this mess."
"Yeah." Ella took a deep breath.
"So what's the plan? You're gonna ask him to meet you tomorrow so you can tell him?"
"I can't. I have to unpack a ton of parcels with new books tomorrow. The store is a mess and it has to be tidy on Monday morning." Jax raised his eyebrows sceptically. "Really, I'm not using this as an excuse." Ella sighed with frustration.
"Okay, actually that's perfect. Ask Henry to help you and then you can declare your love for him…"
"I don't know…"
"Elsie, I'm not gonna let you chicken out of this. Pull yourself together and get the guy for fuck's sake."
Ella couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay. I'm going to call him first thing tomorrow morning. Fine?"
"Fine."
****
While Ella and Jax were drawing up a battle plan, Kelly and Henry were on their way back to Chelsea where Kelly lived and trouble was brewing.
"Why did you have to be so distant?" Kelly asked accusingly. "You made it look like you wouldn't want to touch me."
"Yes, because I don't like it if you're all over me in front of my friends. It's rude and inappropriate. I mean, you're not my girlfriend or something it wasn't even a real date..." Henry snapped.
"Oh...really? You have touched me quite a lot in the last weeks for not being your girlfriend."
"That was different and you know it."
"Yeah, because your beloved Ella wasn't around when you fucked me. At least not physically. I bet you thought of her when you were balls deep inside of me."
"Don't even start, Kelly. I won't let you talk about Ella that way. No disrespect, okay?" His voice was tense and it was obvious that he was trying to restrain himself.
"No, of course you won't." Kelly looked out of the window with a pout. For several minutes none of them said a word but then she turned to him.
"Listen, Henry, I'm sorry. I know what she means to you and I understand that you want to keep this...us...low-key, but it's kinda hard for me when you treat me like you don't even want to be in the same room with me. Please tell me if I did something wrong and I'm never gonna do it again."
"You did nothing wrong. I just don't want to be so touchy-feely when Ella's around."
"Okay, baby, and I just want to make you happy. Happier than she ever could. I don't care about your job, your fame or your lifestyle. I like you just the way you are..." She let her hand run over his thigh, brushing it lightly over his crotch. Henry looked at her with a blank expression.
"She doesn't want you, Henry. You know that. But I do." She purred, starting to massage his dick through his jeans and Henry couldn't help but moan and get hard under her touch.
"Kelly...I don't think I can give you what you're looking for…"
"Oh, I'm sure you can, babe. Just let me take care of you and make you forget about Ella."
The next morning Henry awoke with a jolt when his phone started to ring. He grabbed it and went to the bathroom, Kelly was lying in her bed fast asleep. He hadn't planned to spend the night with her but she had been very convincing and he had to admit the sex had worked wonders. He had been able to let off some steam and to finally get a good night's sleep. He was surprised to see that it was his agent calling. 8 am on sunday morning, this had to be urgent.
A few minutes later Henry put on his clothes before he sat down beside Kelly. He carefully placed a hand on her shoulder and started to shake her gently.
"Kelly, I have to go."
She groaned and turned on her back, eyes still closed. "Why.." she asked sleepily.
"Nothing to worry about, just business. I'll call you later to explain."
"Okay." She yawned and patted his cheek. "Love you babe."
Henry's body stiffened. That wasn't what he wanted to hear. Not from her.
"Bye." He got up and left in a hurry, feeling like shit. This was all so terribly wrong, he wondered if it could get any worse. It was good that a little break was lying ahead of him.
****
Two hours later at the other end of the city, Ella took a deep breath before she called Henry. The plan was simple: call him, ask him if he was willing to help her, wait for a good opportunity and tell him about her feelings and the truth about Kelly. She was determined to make a clean sweep of this whole mess and to lay it all on the line.
"Good morning." Henry's deep voice greeted her friendly.
"Morning, Henry. I hope I'm not interrupting something."
"No, absolutely not. It's good to hear your voice."
He made her blush, even on the phone and she rolled her eyes at herself with a smile.
"I'm glad to hear that." She chuckled. "Listen, Hen, I wanted to ask you a favour. I have so much work to do at the shop today and I really need a helping hand, so I was wondering if you would want to help me. It's just clearing away some new books...but with you I would be much faster and we can spend some time together and talk…" Ella cleared her throat.
"Oh, Ella, I'd love to but unfortunately I can't. I have to go to L.A. I'm just packing my stuff and gonna head to the airport in an hour. I'm so sorry."
"No, don't be. It has to be important if you have to go at such short notice."
"It is. My agent called me this morning. The appointments were originally planned for next month but they were rescheduled to next week. We're gonna talk to some of the studio bosses about upcoming projects and such."
"That's great, Henry. I know you've waited for this opportunity quite a while now." She was genuinely happy for him and it made him love her even more.
"Yeah, now I just have to convince the right people to include me in the right projects." He sighed and Ella knew that under his superman surface Henry was insecure and full of self-doubt often.
"You're gonna blow them away, Henry. You're such a great actor and such a wonderful person. Everybody loves you."
Suddenly there was an awkward silence.
"Everybody?" He asked softly.
Ella was at a loss of words. It was absolutely out of the question to confess her feelings for him on the phone only hours before he had to leave the country for who knows how long.
"Sure." She said with a strange undertone that was almost giving her away. Change the subject! "Is Kelly going with you?"
Henry let out an amused snort. "Of course not. It's a business trip. And she's not, well...my girlfriend or something. I...I said this to Jax already, we're not even really dating, it's just…"
"Sex?"
Henry took a deep breath. "Exactly."
"Are you sure she knows that?"
"No, I'm not. She should, because that's what I keep telling her but she's somehow deaf to that sort of thing. Maybe it's a good thing we take a break now."
"How long will you be gone?"
"I'm not sure. Two weeks maybe."
"So you will be back for my birthday?"
"I hope so."
"So do I. I'd hate to spend it without you but if you can't make it, we can easily take a rain check and celebrate when you're back."
"A party for just the two of us? Sounds even better than joining your actual party." Ella was able to hear the smirk on his pretty lips.
"Oh shut up." Ella laughed out loud. She lowered her voice then, sounding serious all of the sudden. "I'm going to miss you, Henry. A lot. Just come back soon safe and sound, okay?"
"I will. As soon as possible and in one piece. I promise, baby."
~~~~
tbc
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