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mithranqueersmusings · 3 years

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The Night Before IX

Chapter: 9/15

Rating: T

Summary: Ringo hangs around after the club closes and meets a stranger.

Tags: Smut, Slow Burn

Pairing: George Harrison/Ringo Starr (Background McLennon)

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Ringo was quickly getting used to the sight of George in his clothes, sitting on his sofa in a tattered Fleetwood Mac shirt and some loose black joggers. He was relieved when George wanted to stay up for a while rather than crashing straight into bed, because then it would only be a matter of time before they had to part ways once more. Two cups of tea were made, both drank gladly and mostly in silence. The alcohol circling in their body wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, but Ringo couldn't deny that being sober right now wouldn't have been the worst thing.

"What are you gonna do about your clothes?" Ringo asked, warming his hands on the mug.

George shrugged "I dunno, I guess I'll have to try and get them back tomorrow. That'll be a fun conversation."

Ringo chuckled "Well I can give you a lift tomorrow, if you like. In the car mind, not on my back."

"If you're insisting, that'd be great." George smiled at him, his cheeks still a little red from the cold and tipsiness.

"I am." Ringo replied, settling into the sofa.

Whenever silence would eventually arrive, Ringo no longer found himself becoming uncomfortable, he could sit with George saying nothing without worrying about what to say next. The hum of the lights and the distant sound of the city outside were calming, only making him feel safer in his own space.

"You know what I'd kill for right now?" George asked, twisting his body around so that he could face Ringo directly.

"What?" Ringo asked after a pause, assuming George would continue speaking.

"A spliff." George answered, taking a large sip from his mug then putting it down onto the table that was still littered with empty alcohol bottles.

"Oh, well..." Ringo began "I could roll one right now."

George's face lit up immediately, Ringo found himself replicating the smile "Really?"

"Sure." Ringo answered with a small laugh, putting his own mug down "Might be a little rough, I don't usually do it when I'm drunk."

Ringo got up from the sofa and disappeared into his bedroom, fishing around in his bedside table for the small bag he kept all the necessities in. He never smoked as much as he used to, but every so often himself, Paul and John would get high and watch ridiculous movies together, so he always made sure to keep his wares stocked up. It was definitely one way to get rid of a hangover, but it was rare that Ringo was conscious enough to even remember he had weed, let alone roll it, after a long night out. Returning into the room, George's smile hadn't wavered as he watched Ringo clear some space on the table.

"You take such good care of me, don't you Ringo?" George asked with a grin, stretching himself along the sofa so that his clothed feet brushed against Ringo's thigh lightly.

"Can't say that I don't try." Ringo spoke a little quieter, focusing on the task at hand.

"Is that gonna be a problem?" George asked, pointing to the smoke alarm on the ceiling.

Ringo didn't reply for a while, only looking up after he'd finishing rolling "Oh, that, don't worry it doesn't work."

"Shouldn't you get it fixed? What if there's a fire?" George sounded only slightly concerned.

"But then I couldn't smoke inside." Ringo retorted, his words a little mumbled as he began lighting it.

Ringo leaned back into the sofa, exhaling deeply as he watched the smoke circle into the air. He could already feel his head clearing a little, the pain of the drunken headache being replaced by the fuzz of the high. Offering it over to George, he crawled closer to Ringo and took the spliff carefully in his hand. It was hard to keep his eyes off George, watching his fingers and lips, his eyes twinkling with a secret thought. A grin spread across George's face as he smoked, taking his last drag he turned Ringo's face to his own and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips, exhaling the smoke into his mouth. Ringo leant into the kiss, inhaling the smoke as best he could. George pulled away with a smug grin, passing the spliff over to Ringo then stretching himself out into his lap. It was another level of intimacy Ringo felt honoured to experience, his hand instinctively moving to George's head to play with his hair.

"Any chance you wanna get some food?" George asked, his eyes fluttered shut.

Ringo carelessly tapped the ash onto the arm of the sofa, ideally he'd find an ashtray discarded somewhere but he wasn't about to risk George moving from this position.

"There's a cheap place we usually order from." Ringo paused to exhale, passing it along once more "If you like greasy chicken."

George accepted it gladly, his eyes already showing the signs "This is the part where I tell you I'm vegetarian."

"Oh... Well they've got chips." Ringo laughed, watching George longingly.

George fought back a cough "Are they good chips, though? I'm trusting you here, Ringo."

"They're pretty good." Ringo couldn't stop smiling, his mind beginning to swirl "If you don't like them just don't pay me back, sound fair?"

"Sounds fair." George nodded his head "You can have the joy of finishing that off."

Ringo accepted the shrunken spliff carefully, enjoying the way his fingers brushed with George as they delicately tried to pass it between one another. Yet another surprise to bring the night to a satisfying close, it seemed that every time he was with George something unpredicted was going to crop up, but every time it was a blessing. George seemed to read Ringo's mind, grabbing his discarded phone and passing it up to him before he even needed to ask. Ringo smiled down at him, from this angle he looked purely stunning, he only hoped George's perspective was half as flattering.

Operating his phone was a little more difficult than usual, having to pull it away from his face like an elderly person without their reading glasses. He'd ordered so many times from this takeaway that they'd started giving him freebies, perhaps that was a sign that he was smoking too much but he'd happily reap the benefits tonight. Selecting his own signature order: a chicken burger, chips and a coke, he then passed the phone to George who was evidently struggling just as much as Ringo had been. Ringo flicked the now finished spliff onto the table, dreading the clean up he'd have to do in the morning. George passed the phone back with a smile, relaxing further into Ringo's lap as he let out a happy sigh. Ringo ordered the food and chucked his phone to the other end of the sofa, welcoming the intoxicating feeling.

"You wanna watch something while we eat?" Ringo asked, his fingers buried deep in George's dark hair.

George made an affirming noise "Like what?"

"I've got quite the selection of boxsets, I must admit." Ringo found himself speaking softly "If you wanna have a look."

George grunted "In a minute... I'm pretty comfy right now."

They remained like this for a while, George's breathing gradually slowing as Ringo loosely played with his hair. Ringo knew this was only a mixture of the alcohol and the weed making them act like this, so unafraid of being intimate and vulnerable with one another, but he cherished it all the same. Several minutes had passed before Ringo had realised that George had actually fallen asleep, creating an array of potential problems, but he would hold them all off for now and let George rest. It gave Ringo time to examine his face a little closer without running the risk of being caught staring: he noticed the light hints of hair between George's eyebrows which appeared to be shaven but had started to regrow, the length of his eyelashes, the beginnings of stubble on his upper lip and the way his ears protruded out from his head. All these little details just furthering the love he had for George's face, the true beauty of it.

Unfortunately it couldn't last forever, and eventually Ringo had to gently rock George back into consciousness, it wouldn't be long before the food arrived.

"George..." Ringo spoke softly "You've gotta wake up."

George's face screwed up, his eyes still closed, letting out a groan before he seemed to awaken fully. It was a sight Ringo only hoped he'd be able to witness time and time again, even if that wasn't the case he could at least enjoy it for now.

"Shit." George laughed "How long was I asleep for?"

"Not long." Ringo smiled down at him "But we don't wanna miss our food now, do we?"

George reluctantly sat up, rolling his neck slowly and tensing his shoulders. He looked rather sheepish, undoubtedly a little embarrassed that he'd let his guard down so willingly. Ringo similarly stretched out his arms, he hadn't been sitting in the most comfortable position but he was willing to sacrifice his own comfort to guarantee George's.

"Where are these boxsets you were going on about, then?" George asked, getting up from the sofa.

Ringo remained seated and pointed towards the cabinet besides his television "Just in there. Pick whatever you want."

George squatted down, opening the door and perusing through Ringo's possessions. In this day and age it wasn't too common to have so many material copies, but there was something about physically owning the discs that Ringo loved, something he felt could never be replaced even with the accessibility and inconvenience of streaming services. George hummed to himself as he looked through the titles on offer, then reached forward and pulled out one of Ringo's many Simpsons series; he held it up to Ringo for approval who nodded eagerly.

"What a fantastic choice." Ringo teased as George busied himself with the DVD player.

Ringo reached for his phone, realising the food was only a few minutes away. He also noticed a few texts from John but they didn't appear to be anything urgent, no doubt he'd give him a call sometime in the morning anyway. For now he was going to enjoy George's company while it still lasted. George returned to the sofa, remote in hand, relaxing as though it were his own living room.

"Without running the risk of overstaying my welcome," George began "Do you have a blanket or anything? I'm getting kinda chilly."

Ringo laughed "I might have to start charging for all these services, you know. I'm not a bed and breakfast." Though he got up in search for a blanket all the same.

He found one folded up in one of the corners of his still relatively messy room, bringing it out to George and spreading it out across the sofa. George appreciated the gesture, smiling up at Ringo as he found the comfiest position possible. Ringo glanced at his phone then headed towards the door.

"Just gonna grab the food." He announced, grabbing his keys and hopping down the steps towards the entrance.

He wished the deliveryman a good night, only hoping he didn't notice what a state of intoxication he was currently in, then hurried back to the haven that his flat was rapidly turning into. George had his head rested on the arm of the sofa, Ringo wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep once again, but he perked up a little when he saw the bag in Ringo's hand.

Ringo dished out the food, grabbing some ketchup from his kitchen and further crowding the coffee table with it. George accepted the chips with a smile and tucked into them ravenously, pressing play on the remote and beginning the all-too-familiar theme song. Ringo kicked off his shoes, curling his legs up onto the sofa under the warmth of the blanket while he tucked into his burger.

"Thanks for all this, Ringo." George spoke softly, looking directly at the screen and avoiding all eye-contact "You really are something else."

"Well I wouldn't do this for just about anyone, you know." Ringo replied, his eyes drifting over to George.

"How lucky I am." George said somewhat sarcastically, laughing before he filled his mouth with chips once more.

Ringo felt the exact same way.

#the beatles #Beatles #beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #George Harrison/Ringo Starr #george harrisonxringo starr #george harrisonxreader #ringo starr/george harrison #starrison

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thefloatingstone · 5 years

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MST3K Recommendations for people who’ve never watched it

So if you’re somebody on the internet under the age of 22 there’s a chance you may have HEARD people talk about Mystery Science Theater 3000 or “MST3K” for short, and may even know exactly what it is, but you’ve not watched it and have no idea where to start. Or if you’ve never heard of it, this is me telling you you should probably watch it.

In the early to mid 2000s, when the only people on the internet where nerds and teenagers who were nerds (like literally. I have no idea how to explain to the Today’s Kids(tm) that the internet use to ONLY consist of nerdy people and fandoms. None of this “Influencer” shit.) Anyway, back when the internet was just nerds, before video was easily available, MST3K was still being talked about via audio clips, usually made by holding microphones right up to the TV, and when youtube launched in 2006, some of the very first videos were MST3K episodes cut up into 10 parts (because originally you couldn’t upload videos to youtube that were longer than 10 minutes and they had to be 240dp). And before google bought youtube, you could find full, complete episodes of MST3K on Google video.

It’s kind of a staple if you’re a nerdy internet person, and you’ll probably see it get referenced by fandom people and youtubers in their late 20s a LOT. Or use some of the things MST3K introduced in their own videos (like the Stinger after the credits for instance)

So MST3K is kind of essential viewing imo. And luckily, because of the nature of the show, unlike... basically EVERYTHING tv related, sharing links of MST3K is actually actively and honestly encouraged by the show creators.

The show ran from 1989 to 1999, changing from airing on one channel to another as it went (I’m not American so I never caught it on TV). And at the end of literally every single episode throughout its entire 10 year run, you would see this after the credits;

The show actively encouraged its audience to tape the episodes to video and share those videos with friends and family. This is because the show was never about “building a franchise” or becoming monetarily valuable for its creators, but it was about people actually watching the show. Even to this day, with copyright claims and “Subscribe to our streaming service to watch this show” running rampant, MST3K continues to be a show whose prime focus is to get people to watch it. (unless you want to buy it on DVD in which case the prime focus is for you to be rich to try and afford them because they’re like $70 for 4 episodes).

As such, some episodes are available for free on the MST3K official youtube channel completely for free. Some episodes you can buy from the Rifftrax website (which is where the show creators now work, doing basically the same thing as MST3K minus the puppets and host segments unfortunately) but I would be honestly shocked if ANY episode is unavailable online because sharing the episodes is.... just kind of the point of the show? I literally managed to find each and every one in 2008 (although that dark drive doesn’t want to work with my newer laptop so I might have to download all the episodes AGAIN. Thanks Technology...)

But if you’re somebody who has NO IDEA which episodes are “the good ones” or you just want to jump in and watch but you’re scared you’ll get a complete dud as your first experience and then not know what all the fuss is about, or you just want to know some good episodes to watch, I decided to throw together a list, along with links.

And with that VERY lengthy intro out of the way, here we go!

In no order

The Touch of Satan Year: 1971 S09E08 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain guy and Bobo

Despite the movie title there is no Satan in the film. A baffling movie where a good looking “All American Boy” named Jodie drives through a small town while road tripping from Texas to San Fransisco. There he meets a really pretty girl named Melissa who lives with who she claims is her mother and father on a walnut farm, as well as her insane grandmother. For seemingly nonsensical reasons (other than he’s attracted to Melissa) Jodie decides to spend the night at the farm. Eventually he gets pulled into the family curse and learn just who Melissa really is (It’s not Satan).

The movie is incredibly stupid and WOULD be pretty bland if not for the absolutely ridiculous dialogue, bizarre little details you can’t help but focus on (why a Walnut farm? Why is the father always so sweaty??) and just how.... 70s everything is.

Mike and the bots are super on point with their jokes, and it has a few of my favourite jokes and host segments in it.

https://youtu.be/ZebKhabJItE

Gamera Year: 1965 S03E02 Host: Joel Mads: Dr Forrester and TV’s Frank

Look. If you’re gonna watch MST3K you’re gonna have to watch a Gamera movie eventually. And since I could literally put ANY of the Gamera films here, I’m gonna start with the first one. Especially since the following Gamera movies the host and bots have running jokes and references to the first films.

Gamera is a Japanese Kaiju movie franchise originally created to compete with Godzilla. And completely misses the point of Godzilla. Whereas Godzilla was originally intended to be a metaphor of Atomic weaponry and Japan’s national wound following the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki... Gamera is about a giant flying turtle monster who is friend to all children.

....and I friggen LOVE Gamera. It’s because of MST3K’s episodes that I ended up buying a DVD boxset of every single Gamera movie. It’s good stuff. Start with this episode and watch the others as you go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rly_1NPCXAM

Pod People Year: 1983 S03E03 Host: Joel Mads: Dr Forrester and TV’s Frank

This is MANY people’s favourite episode in the whole show, and was my favourite as well until I couldn’t pick a favourite any more. However this is the only episode of the show where I had to pause it the first time I watched it at one part because I was laughing so hard.

Originally intended to be an alien slasher movie, the producers asked the director Juan Piquer Simon to include a subplot where a cute child makes friends with one of the aliens so that they could market the movie as an E.T. rip off (E.T. had come out the year before) If you think this would make the tone of the movie confusing where half the aliens are killing off teenagers and half the aliens are being friends with a small, badly dubbed child... you are absolutely right. But it’s the Host segments and jokes within the film that make this one of the top 5 best episodes in the whole show, if not top 3.

It is the episode that people will most commonly reference even 30 years later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCl2ZNkfnS8

Jack Frost Year: 1964 S08E13 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain Guy and Bobo

One of the many badly Russian films that deserved much better than the shitty dub they got. I was THIS CLOSE to putting “The Day the Earth Froze” here instead, but I felt Jack Frost is the easier watch of the two (however I do recommend checking out The Day the Earth Froze as well).

Honestly, this film isn’t that bad at all. It’s shitty dub is a shame but even with the silly voices and calling Baba Yaga “The Hunchbacked Fairy” for reasons I will never understand, the film is actually pretty charming, and if I had it on video as a kid I probably would have really liked it. It’s a classic fairy tale about a pretty and kind young girl who is treated badly by her stepmother and stepsister, but she finds true love in a handsome prince who had been turned into a bear until he could learn humility. Also Jack Frost is there (I have no idea who he’s suppose to be in the original language of the film and I doubt its Jack Frost). The movie is innocent and weird and overacted and the main character of Nastenka is so pretty and big eyed and innocent it’s an easy target for jokes on just how silly and whimsical everything is. The jokes are never outright mean spirited or nasty, just in line with the whole silly movie, and honestly this is a great episode to introduce your kids to the show as it’s not scary and doesn’t have any gore (like some of the other films showcased)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVpOaeBtr7w

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies Year: 1964 S08E12 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain Guy, Bobo

Yes. That is the real title of the movie. And it is also the most exciting thing about it. This movie is..... incomprehensible, to say the least. I am only BARELY aware of what the fuck it’s even about. There’s a fortune teller on the amusement park wharf? And I remember a terrifying robot monkey asking people to buy tickets, and the main character (I use the term loosely) becomes evil? I’m sorry but this movie is so cut to ribbons in editing and has so little dialogue it’s barely even a movie. It’s held together by the thinnest threads of recurring images. However, unlike some of the other episodes in MST3K with the same problem of barely being movies, I find the jokes by the hosts land much better and they’re not in as agonizing pain as “The Beast of Yucca Flats” which I still consider the worst movie I have ever seen in my life.

I have no way to describe this movie. It’s not even crazy enough to garner enthusiastic “this movie is batshit insane” praise. Watch this one for the jokes by the hosts. And for the title so you can tell people “I watched a movie called The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jLGqN3XG-Q

Eegah Year: 1962 S05E06 Host: Joel Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

Ugh. This movie. Ok. “Starring” Arch Hall Jr. who was a sort of actor and one of those 60s “teen heart throb” singers before boy bands became a thing after the Beatles. He never made it super big, but it was considered a big selling point to films he was in (he went on to being an airline pilot and good for him). This movie is about him and his girlfriend his girlfriend’s father finding a giant caveman in the desert outside their town (in a cave which is NOT made of burlap sacks). The giant caveman falls in love with the girlfriend and follows them to the suburbs.

It’s not the most remarkable movie MST3K ever did. It’s not the best movie they ever did nor is it the worst movie they ever did, but for some reason this film has a tendency to stick in people who watch MST3K’s minds. Maybe the jokes are just THAT quotable, but for whatever reason, it’s one of the staple episodes to watch. And hey, at least the movie is WATCHABLE. MST3K went on to reference things in this film for the rest of the show’s history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvFBKsW3Aew

Santa Claus Year: 1959 S5E21 Host: Mike Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

A Mexican movie about Santa Claus and his friend Merlin who live on the moon and watch the children of Earth through a telescope to make sure they’re all being good. We focus on the devil Pitch who is sent by Satan to make children misbehave, most noteably a 4 year old girl named Lupita who is from a poor family and wishes she had a pretty doll to play with, and a rich little boy who wishes his parents would spend Christmas with him.

This movie is.... weird. In case the whole “Santa and Merlin are friends and live on the moon” thing didn’t already tip you off. The movie’s pretty harmless overall but it’s just WEIRD. Santa’s castle on the moon is full of children from all over the world wearing the most stereotypical clothes of all time (Japanese children in full kimono, American children all dressed as cowboys, African children dressed in tribal clothes etc etc) and they.... I think they make the toys? I’m not sure. Santa’s reindeer are terrifying wind up toys who laugh maniacally when they’re turned on. There’s a giant mouth on the wall that’s part of Santa’s computer? And an ear that can hear what all the children are saying on earth or something?

It’s just... it’s bizarre. And an excellent episode to watch for Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTWs3zvz1z4

War of the Colossal Beast Year: 1958 S03E19 Host: Joel Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

I am recommending this one not actually for the movie itself, but for the short which plays first, which is “Mr. B Natural” and which is easily the best and most referenced MST3K short in the whole show.

It follows a little boy who wishes he was cool. He’s visited by Mr. B Natural, the spirit of music. Mr. B Natural is played by Betty Luster and is a bizarre character in himself, being completely androgynous and using male pronouns while being played very obviously by a woman with a very obviously female voice. Mr. B is presented as a sort of pixie character and possibly meant to be like the stage version of Peter Pan which is also traditionally played by adult women. The episode of MST3K aired in 1991 LONG before the concept of Non-binary was even a thing. As such MST3K plays along with the weirdness that is Mr. B, using only male pronouns for him and addressing him as a man, while also commenting on how attractive he is.

Mr. B teaches our little boy main character that if he wants to be cool he needs to buy a trumpet and join the school’s band, and goes on to be one of the most beloved MST3K “characters” who they often keep making references to and who shows up in the host segments now and then as a cameo.

Oh. And then there’s a movie following the short that’s a sequel to another movie. It’s about a man who keeps growing larger and larger in size but the bigger he gets the more he loses his intelligence. It’s directed by the notorious “Bert I. Gordon” whose movies are always more vehicles for cheap special effects than story, plot or characters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRL8umsMe28

Squirm Year: 1976 S10E12 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brian Guy and Bobo

I am a little biased towards Squirm because I’m pretty sure it was the very first MST3K episode I ever saw (not counting the short “Are you Ready for Marriage?” which was the first anything MST3K that I saw). But even if it wasn’t I think Squirm is still a great episode to check out, and it comes with the double whammy of having the short “a Case of Spring Fever” in front of the film which, if they had the short in an earlier season, would definitely have become a running joke throughout the show. Sadly They only aired it here in the 10th season, but even being in the last season, it’s one of the show’s most famous shorts they’ve done.

As for the film, it’s actually pretty great too. It takes place in Georgia and is SUPER southern to a point of coming across as a parody almost. Our main character is the boyfriend of a local girl, a “city boy” who she met antiquing (a hobby they both share and talk about a lot throughout the film). However, a powerful electrical storm struck the small town a few nights ago, and as a result, it has turned all the earthworms underground into blood thirsty, violent predators (without actually growing in size). The movie is a silly and ridiculous B-Movie, but honestly a LOT of the effects are pretty damn impressive. Before he made it big in Rocky, Sylvester Stallone really wanted a role in the film but didn’t get it. All the worms in the film are real, and bought from the bait and fishing industry. So many worms were used in this film that they completely used up the entire New England’s bait supplies for the whole year following the shooting of the film.

Erm... so don’t watch it if you’re squeemish about bugs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3msPmLpLTUM

Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders Year: 1996 S10E03 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain Guy and Bobo

omfg this movie X’D this fucking movie.

Ok. So what kind of movie do you expect with a title like that and if I tell you it starts off with a grandfather telling his grandson a story about how Merlin’s magic is real and has come to benefit mankind and help others?

You’re probably expecting some whimsical fantasy low budget Princess Bride knock off, right? This is exactly what the film THINKS it is, too. It THINKS it’s a magical child friendly story about magic and Merlin and him and his wife running a shop that sells magical items to better the lives of others.

So it’s kind of a fucking problem that the stories in this movie are based off of Stephen King horror Novellas!!!

And that’s basically all you need to know about why this movie is kind of a disaster. It thinks it’s an all ages magical romp when in reality it’s a horrifying double feature of pet deaths (warning for a dog dying in the second story) an abusive husband (warning for domestic abuse in the first story) and demonic powers.

Also, despite the film being made in 1996, the second story uses footage from the director’s earlier film “The Devil’s Gift” which was made in 1984. As a result, despite the 1996 release, the child in this part of the movie is playing with Star Wars toys and wearing an E.T. shirt through most of it.

This movie also has one of my favourite jokes by Mike right at the end of the film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8Q-RuAx4V4

Ah crap that’s already 10 movies and I haven’t even mentioned “Werewolf” or “Puma Man”. dkfhskdhfks Go watch Puma Man and Werewolf!! They’re great!

and finally, special mention;

Manos: the hands of fate

Year: 1966 S04E24 Host: Joel Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

The great grandpappy of ALL the MST3K episodes. Of all the episodes they’ve ever done and all the movies and shorts they ever covered, Manos is the one that crawled under the skin of the hosts and the audience the most. Many people say it’s the very worst film they ever did EVER. As I said, I personally think the Beast of Yucca Flats is much worse if only because it’s painfully boring, but in terms of sheer “this is so fucking bad I can’t even process this”, I guess Manos wins. Being terrible because you’re boring is one thing. Being terrible because you’re completely batshit insane is another.

The story BEHIND the movie Manos is fascinating. Made when the creator of the film made a bet with a friend that he could make a movie despite never having done anything with film before, he went ahead and did it, with a screening and a premiere and everything. The actor playing Torgo was high on LSD the entire time of filming. The Camera used to shoot the film got so hot they could only film 30 seconds for each scene before they had to cut to a new one. The entire movie was filmed without sound and dubbed afterwards. The actor who was going to play the main character broke his leg before filming started and had to be replaced last second.

The movie is indescribable. It is PAIN and it is SUFFERING and it is BAFFLING and you should really build up a resistance to bad movies before attempting to watch this episode. I do NOT recommend starting your MST3K viewing with this one. But eventually, if you like MST3K, you’re gonna have to watch it. There’s just no escaping it.

The only way I can properly explain what Manos is like is to quote Crow who comments in the opening credits (which the film but forgot to put the actual credits over) “Every frame of this movie looks like someone’s last known photograph.”

And that’s it. That’s the whole movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ5baft7Kv0

I forgot to add my links!

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#MST3K #Mystery Science Theater 3000 #Keep Circling the Tapes #long post #links #Gifs #youtube #recommendations

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a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e · 3 years

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I know this is an issue that’s already been talked about but this is my blog and I get to choose the hair shirt we wear.

“Stark Raving Dad,” S03E01 of The Simpsons and the episode with Michael Jackson in it, is so damn hard to find. It’s not on Disney+ with the rest of the Simpsons, it’s not on Amazon Prime, and the only place left I can possibly access it legally is YouTube, if I pay to watch the whole third season of the Simpsons. That’s $19.99 for the one episode I actually want to watch.

But aside from me being dead broke at the moment, I’m not spending $19.99 to watch what YouTube calls the “complete” third season of the Simpsons, because after doing some research, they might claim to have it and not actually have it at all, even if they say they have it by name. Even if they do have it, I don’t want to pay $20 for something I don’t fully own (more on that in a bit.)

I checked out my less-than-legal alternatives too, and made the discovery that you can label a torrent anything you want, but the file people download can be anything else. You could, hypothetically, go to download what appears to be “Stark Raving Dad,” S03E01 of The Simpsons, in 1080p, and wait and wait and wait while the file downloads, and be totally confident you’re downloading “Stark Raving Dad” because the torrent listing claims to be “Stark Raving Dad” and has a screenshot of “Stark Raving Dad” and has the plot summary of “Stark Raving Dad” and the correct episode number of “Stark Raving Dad”...

Then when you go to open the file it’s “Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington” because FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY.

Hypothetically, of course.

And that’s if you (hypothetically) try to torrent the episode standalone, by itself. You could take the time and bandwidth to download the entire third season of The Simpsons, but if the people uploading it got it from Disney+ or Amazon Prime or anywhere else that’s going to be 1080p, it’s not gonna have “Stark Raving Dad.” The issue still remains, too, that it could say it has “Stark Raving Dad,” but doesn’t actually include it once you’ve downloaded the files, in which case you’ve wasted possible hours downloading videos you don’t want only to find out the thing you downloaded it for wasn’t even there to begin with. Same disappointment, longer time to figure it out.

All of this assuming there are even seeders on the (hypothetical) torrents, which if there aren’t, it doesn’t matter if someone else has this file, because you won’t.

Then of course, the other less-than-legal options would be various websites that host uploaded videos of cartoon shows (like KissCartoon or WCOStream,) but the reason almost anyone who accesses these sites knows at least a handful of them or inevitably asks what the “new domain” is when they change their URL for the 80th time is because while those websites technically work, they aren’t reliable sources. They’re less-than-legal, so they’re not explicitly illegal, as far as I know, but they aren’t totally legal either. Even if you find what you want to watch, you’re gonna have to deal with spammy banner ads and pop-ups (because they all ask you to remove your adblock and refuse to play the content with adblock running,) and it’ll only ever be in as high a quality as the site can source it, which takes you back to the issues I just mentioned.

I had to go into my bookshelf and dig for my box set of The Simpsons’ season 3, which fortunately still has all the discs, but the box is grody and beat up and the disc that has the episode also has a fair amount of schmutz and dust on it. That got me thinking; I’m very fortunate to have bought this boxset when I did all those years ago, and I bought my current desktop tower specifically because it still had a CD drive so I could watch my movies. But DVDs are falling out of favor for Blu-rays, which are in turn falling out of favor for digital downloads.

How long until CD-ROM players and DVD players go the way of the VCR and you can’t find one that isn’t secondhand on eBay for $200? What happens if my disc won’t play, if the plastic degrades enough that it won’t even run? If the computer gets too advanced to recognize it? If any future releases of The Simpsons omit “Stark Raving Dad” for the same bullshit reasons that Disney+ omitted it? But, more importantly;

What happens when this isn’t just about Michael Jackson anymore?

It’s annoying when it’s only a quality issue, when now all of The Simpsons is 1080p except “Stark Raving Dad,” which if this DVD still works will be in 720p (I could try to find a Blu-ray of The Simpsons’ third season, if one exists, but again; would they still include the episode on a Blu-ray sold in 2020?) but it’s going to become an issue of much greater importance when the DVD becomes obsolete.

When my DVD stops working, I won’t be able to access this episode in anything beyond 480p. If and when torrent sites and less-than-legal sites like KissCartoon are taken down, I won’t be able to access this episode at all. Sure, I’ve seen it before and it’s just an episode of The Simpsons, but if this can happen to my silly little Simpsons episode, imagine what will happen when this happens to something of cultural significance.

We’ve lost footage of the fucking moon landing because the people working on it didn’t think to save the original film, we’ve lost some of the very first films in general because the celluloid was turned into heels for shoes and materials for war. If media of that much importance can be lost because of carelessness, imagine what can be lost because of malice.

“Stark Raving Dad” is maliciously being left behind because people think Michael Jackson is a child molester. I 100% believe he is not, and there’s no evidence to support that he is, but that doesn’t change what some other people think. And unfortunately for me, it’s those people that decide whether or not the thing they made with Michael Jackson gets to be saved with all the other episodes of their animated TV show.

However, I feel this sets a precedent for censorship moving forward. How many movies, TV show episodes, Hell; even entire TV series, are we going to lose? Who gets to make those determinations? And at that rate, for which reasons? It can already be for accused crimes, not actual guilty verdicts (because Michael Jackson has only ever been accused, never found guilty, and no evidence of wrongdoing ever found.)

So what if I accuse someone I’ve never met of raping me? Can I get the stuff they worked on taken down too if I make my accusation sound horrible enough? If I come up with the most disgusting thing imaginable, can I get anything taken down? How graphic do I have to describe my (fictional) rape to get a movie I don’t like taken off of Netflix? To make sure that it’s unreasonably hard for anyone to ever see that hypothetical movie ever again?

With all this in mind, I hate not owning things. I hate paying to access a streaming service where someone can censor or remove something I paid for, or where it’s not guaranteed to even be there in the first place. I hate when a service wants to gaslight me into thinking episodes are out of order, or didn’t exist in the first place, or didn’t air the way I remember them airing. If I pay for something, I want what I bought and I want it to keep, not to be altered or taken away just because someone somewhere said so!

Today it’s “Stark Raving Dad,” because of Michael Jackson, but what is it gonna be next time I’m trying to find something? What else are we going to lose not because it’s “Lost Media,” but “Destroyed Media?” Who gets to decide, and why? (That should always be the question, shouldn’t it? “Who gets to decide, and why?” We need to make that phrase a common daily occurrence. Critical thinking is so important.)

‘Cause this is exploitable as hell, and mark my words, it’s gonna keep getting worse as time goes on.

#michael jackson #mj #stark raving dad #sj shit #long post #personal potatoes #don't fight me

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chadnevett · 7 years

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Random Thoughts! (August 20, 2017)

On vacation. Michelle and Ryan left on Friday night after supper. My activities since then have been enjoyable and relaxing. I read outside on our patio (Friday night and, then, this morning before the sun got high enough to bother me -- I really do love getting up before the sun rises enough to bother me and read the paper). Listened to a couple of podcasts. Read a bunch of comics. Watched a bunch of wrestling (with more tonight!). And watched most of the bonus features on the Twin Peaks boxset (DVD edition). And drank a ton of coffee. I am currently struggling with writing about The Ultimates 2 and listening to some 2017 albums -- just finished Times Infinity Vol. 2 by the Dears (who I will have the pleasure of seeing live in November when they come to Windsor -- one of the last bands on my bucket list of musical acts to see live) and currently have Humanz by Gorillaz on (who I could see live in Detroit, I guess, but I don't really want to). But, here's some Random Thoughts for you...

* I'm not necessarily a big concert guy. I enjoy them well enough, but I'm also older and lazier and I enjoy sitting my ass down for a concert. I'm mature enough to know that sitting doesn't mean a lack of engagement or excitement. It just means I don't want to stand all fucking night when there's a perfectly good chair. Standing does not make the music better. I figure the Dears show will be a standing affair being in a bar -- but, I've also had some good sitting in a bar shows. But, there are a small list of musical acts that I'll go out of my way to see live. The ones I've seen that fall under this category: Sam Roberts Band (five times), the White Stripes (twice -- haven't seen Jack White in any other band or solo yet -- I'd go out of my way to see him solo), the Tragically Hip (twice), Hawksley Workman (twice) the Hives, Ryan Adams, Matthew Good, k-os, Danko Jones and Neil Young (twice). I've seen other bands live, but I think that covers the list of acts that are on my "buy their stuff when it comes out automatically" list. The Dears will soon join that list. The acts that I haven't yet seen that I would like to: Metallica (I could have on their latest tour, but various factors made it seem less ideal -- which was good, because I had a terrible cold that week and it would have been a miserable experience), Queens of the Stone Age (a possibility for their next tour, but money is always an issue -- and, honestly, one of the factors I mentioned is that I prefer not to go to Detroit concerts on weeknights... too much time/effort -- because I am old and lazy), Steven Page and/or Barenaked Ladies (I'd choose the former over the latter if forced to choose), Joel Plaskett, the Black Keys, Arkells, Bob Dylan (his latest trip through Detroit was part of some festival, so no), and... that's about it, I guess. I'd love to see almost any of the bands I've seen already again -- especially Hawksley Workman, the Hives, and Danko Jones. The musicans I've missed out on because of death is a third list that reminds me that maybe I should stop being so picky about conditions for seeing people: Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen, and Motorhead (the last two were ones that I remember playing in Detroit when I've lived in Windsor).

* The comics I read yesterday were mostly some things I'd put aside and let accumulate, like the most recent Sex Criminals arc (which reads so much better in a bigger chunk like that) and the last half-year of Stray Bullets: Sunshine & Roses. That last one... man, someone said it on Twitter a few weeks ago, but why is no one talking about Stray Bullets? Ever since it ended way back when, people kept bitching and moaning for it to come back and, then, it does, and it's FUCKING AMAZING. It's the best monthly comic I read (therefore: the best monthly comic out right now, because I clearly read only the best monthly comics). It's crazy and unpredictable and rooted in these flawed, fucked up characters... The current story fills in the gaps between the first arc and the second and it just keeps going (issue 27 is out in a week-and-a-half) and you'd think you'd just go "Enough already!" but it keeps getting better. It just keeps adding on and adding on and adding on and digging into this detail here and adding onto that and... it seems like it could go forever.

* Been doing a lot of work at home lately. Every night practically. Even if it's just 30-60 minutes, it just takes up so much mental space. It's nice to not worry about that right now. I've been struggling a bit the past two days with pushing that from my mind. It's working... slowly. I care about my job. Maybe too much. But, it is what it is. Over the past year, I've been really working on trying to leave work at work, at least mentally. Doing the overtime at home is okay, but I wish it didn't mean that work occupied my mind between when I leave and when I begin doing that extra work. That's the last space that I need to work on. Right now, it's hard to push away because of a couple of things that I'm waiting to hear about, so I've got some anxiety (good and bad). But, it's fading... Might come back tomorrow a bit more because then it's a possibility that I'll get called about either thing since they're both big enough to warrant calling me while I'm off (theoretically -- maybe my bosses don't see it that way). So... there we are. But, one thing I've learned is that putting it down in writing helps. Either like this or by making a list of some kind. Put it down in writing and it leaves your head. It's there in writing instead.

* Teen Titans Go! is my favourite superhero TV show/movie. Bar none. It's not even close at this point. That show is everything that I want from superhero fiction at this point. It does everything. It's wacky and meta and funny and serious... except not really. It doesn't take itself too seriously. It's about flawed people who are superheroes. As others have pointed out, it's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia for kids. On the whole, it is beyond anything I currently see in superhero comics. (It's also my counterargument to everyone who shits on DC in favour of Marvel in the TV/movie realm -- Marvel wishes any of its shit was half this good).

* Tonight is SummerSlam. For the second year in a row, my vacation lines up with SummerSlam weekend -- and Michelle and Ryan being gone to do something with her family. That means I will be ordering Pizza Hut tonight. It's what I order when I get to watch a WWE PPV alone. I don't know why. I just like ordering Pizza Hut for these things. I'm looking forward to the show. I have no idea if it will be good or not. WWE is so fucking unpredictable these days with quality. Shows that look great on paper flop; shows that look dull as shit turn out to be engaging and lively. I just hope I don't begin to nod off near the end. That's my big downfall these days: any time after 7:30, I may hit a half-hour period where my body decides it's time for bed and I have to fight against the urge. Once I fight through, I'm good -- but, man, that fight is a tough one some nights. Last night, I didn't really fight it when it hit during the main event of the NXT show, because I knew how good Roode/McIntyre would be and didn't consider it worth the effort (NXT shows are continually quite good, bar the NXT title matches for the past year or so... holy fuck do they need to get that sorted). There's nothing specific that I'm looking forward to -- or dreading. Just looking forward to taking the show in. And eating Pizza Hut. (Still not decided on what I'm getting. I love their Canadian, but it's tough, because I want to maximise what I get for the cheapest amount of money. They have a daily $10 medium/large pizza and Sunday is Triple Crown (pepperoni, green peppers and mushrooms), so I sometimes get a large one of those. They also have a $15 deal that I'll get: a two-topping Panlicious pizza (a square pizza with eight slices), eight boneless chicken bites, and breadsticks. I like that, because it's a nice bit of variety (and I dig the breadsticks). I might get that, because they have some new smokehouse pepperoni that I'm curious about... This is what I spend far too much time thinking about.)

* My Keurig coffee of choice is the Van Houtte Mexico blend. I've tried just about every dark roast you can get in k-cups and it's the best. My co-workers will sometimes hit me up for a k-cup here and there, and, if I have the Mexico stuff at the office, their eyes light up. It's the good shit.

* On the August Civic Holiday, Ryan's daycare was open, so Michelle and I had a day to ourselves. We watched Fire Walk with Me, had lunch together, and saw Dunkirk. After dropping Ryan off, though, we stopped at Starbucks, and I tried one of their clover coffees -- I got the most expensive one -- $6 for a venti. It was okay. Not worth six bucks, though. Maybe $3.50.

* We watched Twin Peaks a month or so back. We both liked it a lot. Not nearly as weird as I thought it would be based on what people said. But, I also like how I knew a few big details (the basic premise, the identity of the killer, the final scene of the first season, and the final scene of the second season -- maybe a couple of other bits and pieces there, but nothing major) and it didn't impact my enjoyment at all. I didn't feel spoiled, because it's very much a show about experiencing what's happening, not where it winds up. That leaves me fairly good about not seeing the current one and not worrying about learning plot details. Who cares? It doesn't really tell me a lot about what watching the show is like. The only way to know that is to see it. And, man, am I looking forward to when we can watch The Return. (Okay, if I really wanted, I could shell out the money for The Movie Network -- as that's where it airs in Canada -- or find a way to pirate it online, but, nah... We'll just wait for the DVD, because we're old and prefer to spend money on things that are more permanent, theoretically.)

* We both had the same complaint about Fire Walk with Me -- we wanted more of the FBI stuff. The Laura stuff was good, but it fell into the same problem that a lot of prequel stuff does: you know the overall plot and the experience isn't quite good enough to make it worthwhile again.

* Currently rereading Raymond Chandler's work. I began with the two short story collections I have (Trouble is My Business and The Simple Art of Murder) and am currently up to The Long Goodbye in the novels. After I finish the novels, I'm going back to my copy of his complete short stories and will read all of the ones that weren't in the two collections (I got the two collections before I got the complete hardcover). You can really see him progress as a writer in the novels. The Big Sleep is definitely the worst-written one thus far. With each book, the prose gets better -- and there's an increasing focus on the non-plot details. It becomes more and more about how Marlowe suffers and deals with the worst fucking people and his increasing impatience with these pieces of shit. Every novel, I go "This is his best novel!" I love how his first post-Hollywood novel The Little Sister is just so fucking bitter. He took all of his feelings about that period of his life and put them on the page. One of the things I plan to do this week is watch The Big Sleep and The Long Goodbye. (If I can find the time -- or more accurately, choose to spend my time doing it, I'm also planning to watch all of Christopher Nolan's movies in a row...) James Ellroy has often said how little he likes Chandler's writing, but Ellroy writes such complementary work to Chandler's novels. More explicit, sure, and from the other side (the cops), but they work in concert quite well, exploring the same location in a similar period. And they don't contradict one another much (at least from what I remember).

* Okay, for superhero comics, what I'm digging these days: obviously The Mighty Thor. After that, what I think I'm enjoying most is The Infamous Iron Man by Bendis and Maleev. They did a scene with Ben Grimm and Johnny Storm a couple of issues ago that was fantastic. It's a very atmospheric book. Very relaxed. I have to remind myself to slow down with it. Wicked and Divine is good; as is Uber (the most recent issue was a technical bit of genius). Joe Casey is back doing a couple of books for Lion Forge's Catalyst Prime line -- Accell has had three issues and veers wildly between the best and worst of Casey's superhero work (with art that is not at all my taste) and The Incidentals starts this week. I dig Bendis's other work and... I mean, Ellis is doing The Wild Storm, which is good. I'm not sure I'm reading anything else superhero-related at this point. Oh, I really liked the first issue of Mister Miracle. More than I expected. It's the second thing by Tom King I'm reading. I got the trade of Omega Men when it came out and it was Fine. Not at all as good as everyone made it seem, but... Maybe it was built up too much. Maybe I should revisit it again. I'm waiting for Vision to be released in one chunk. And Batman... maybe someday, but... Finch... But, I figured I'd jump on board Mister Miracle as it looked like it would be my kind of thing. So far, it is.

* I had backed a Kickstarter for the Nexus Compendium and that fell through, kind of, for a variety of personal reasons for the Rudes. But, to make good, they offered a few options, one of which was the equivalent of my pledge at their store online with a discount code. So I got the two Nexus trades there (Space Opera and the ones collecting the Dark Horse Presents stuff). Then I looked online and realised that, if I got volumes seven and eight of the Nexus Omnibus, I'd have the complete series, basically. So I got them for this vacation. Looking forward to reading through those comics. The other book I'd gotten and saved for vacation was the seventh Powers deluxe hardcover, which covers "The Bureau Saga." It was good. Read it yesterday afternoon. It had been so long since the sixth volume that I honestly forgot what I had happened aside from they'd be working for the FBI now. Duh. That will be a fun series to reread some day.

* Preacher season two is really good. I've made peace with how much it deviates from the comic, I think. The two are pretty much unrelated at this point aside from some of the broad details. Which is fine. I'd rather see something that draws upon the comic but does it's own thing. I struggled with some of their choices at first (mostly the stuff with Jesse and his dad, because that was a dramatic change that seemed to fundamentally change the character in ways that I wasn't sure I liked). I do like not knowing where it's going. At this point, anything that matches the comic is the big surprise rather than points of depature. The stuff in hell is really great, in particular.

* The latest issue of Heavy Metal has no Grant Morrison comics. Only four more issues left. What a fucking waste this subscription has been. Two issues never received. My one attempt to get one of them resulted in them sending me an issue I already had -- TWICE (they sent it, I complained that they sent the wrong one and they sent it again -- three fucking copies of this one issue, man). I had high hopes for his tenure on the magazine, but it's been a bust. Okay, that's harsh. I've enjoyed some stuff in it. Even a Morrison strip ("Mythopia" is worth writing about). The "Zentropa" stuff by John Mahoney always makes me stop and look. The odd thing here and there, but... The most recent issue is full of strips inspired by songs by metal acts that I don't enjoy. FUN.

* I'm boring. Enjoy your Sunday.

#random thoughts #comics #music #books #tv #raymond chandler #the dears #teen titans go #david lapham #Brian Michael Bendis #wrestling #i am boring

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