#ALREADY anxious abt bcs i have to miss that whole day of school | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Hello, maybe you coukd give me some tips. I send you that ask already but it means ght be deleted by tumblr and it was all messy and ugly.

So I have one childhood friend, we used to do everything together till highschool. Often she was my only friend, like now. We slowly started to distance from each other sonce she has a boyfriend. For all those years I did my best to accept him and all, told myself that duh she is not obliged to spent time only with me even in situation when she spent less and less time with me. Sometime I had a bit trouble to fully accept bf because sometime when they argued she was venting to me and I felt like his is hurting her but she refused to break up with him. Boy eas very insecure, no friends and so on and one day around graduating junior hight school she wanted to break up with him but he said something like he is gonna hurt himself if she will, or just drop out the school. So she wanted to wait at least until he graduate, but she waited longer. Then just after we graduated hightschool she broke up with him like she had enought. It was prolly a mistake but after she vent I said one or two things about him concerning past events and I said 'wow finally'. After a while they made up and she said she just missend him. I promissed mtself I will never comment whatever she tell me about them, unless in a good way.

Well... the point is that I am probably jellous, that she doesnt want to spent time with me anymore. Alway if I ask her out I give her to eventually pick the date, if nit today then maybe tomorrow etc y know introvert way :D And im trying to save this friendship? She is not the person busy 24/7, unless maybe when she is in uni or we count playing games as being busy. I play games too sometime.

Sometime it seems like she tries to avoid me and dont want to tell me anything. One day I was talking to her in cafee and she was just fidgeting with her phone. She didnt even like heck the socialmedia, just switching between random (system?) folders on the phone. When I asked abt it why she doesnt listen, she said she wanted to do sth but forgot what. Another time I havent seen her for months and she alway soent holidays 1 month her bf comes to her (he lives abroad already I guess) and I dont want to disturb them of feel like third wheel and the other month she come to him. So like week before she pnanned to go I asked her to go out next day. She said she cant. So asked another day, she answered : but I go to my bf. So I surprised that its that soon and sad I missed the oportunity: oh really? When? She: on Friday me: but its Monday(?)(no answer) so...? She: ught I know ;;; but lately I dont really feel like going anywhere :(

Well... maybe I'm childish but I felt sad.

I'm also jellous that they even celebrate each others bdays altought she never do that bc of religious reasons and I've always respected that.

Once I asked her what is with us, we barely talk for last few years and I feel like she is avoiding me. She had no Idea what I was talking about, she felt like everything was the same.

I was told to not have much hope or expectations toward her bu maybe try to text her or maybe arrange a meeting once in a while and try not to become bitter.

The other one sait that that how adulthood looks like, we become busier with private issues and so on and I may act childish and selfish, but as far as I know except for time she go to uni or to her bf she is not that busy, definitely not that busy not to have time to meet with me more than once in a whole year (or none) when we live ~20min apart by foot. I dont want to be burden to anyone or feel like third wheel so I dunno what to do. I have problem with finding friends, she was my only one friend (?) for years. I dont trust ppl easly

I wanted to do more things together outside since we both used to or still do soent too much time on the computer but well... you know, together is easier.

Since I have to do it on my own maybe you have some ideas? Thats stupid wuestion I guess since you dont know my environment. Jogging and biking wont work I guess since I dont have proper bike. I wanted to plant some flowers but I was afraid I screw everything up since im kida kid who grow up in the bubble and Im not sure how to do basics and nobody wanted to help me and its too late already... Walk is fine but I prefer places far from road and since I'm not supposed to go to the forest that I love I dont have many spots to go.

I am sorry for long post. Any even tiny help would be appreaciated. I hope thats not much of the problem, have a nice day or night :)

-PineconeAnon

I do think that it's time for you to let go of the friendship. I know that's hard to do but people grow apart and that's okay. It's okay. You'll be able to make better relationships and move forward but you have to learn to let go and keep walking forward. It sounds like you're holding onto this friendship because you want to keep going on like it's the past but...

It doesn't work like that. Change happens. It hurts sometimes but it's not a bad thing. You can reflect on this with time and learn how to be able to accept it. You need someone that wants to hang out with you and relax with you. It's not childish to be upset but it's important to see when people just... don't have time for you anymore and feelings change.

It just seems like you both have a fundamental misunderstanding and if you can't talk that through, then it's not working. You can try to talk about it but it seems like it'd be better to just let go. She doesn't think there's something wrong but you do. If you feel stress around her instead of friendship, it's not great.

But, that's up to you, you know? You decide your relationships what you want them to be.

I don't really have great advice for making friends as an adult. I'm not exactly going out and interacting with people. I can suggest finding a new set of friends online by joining Discords and interacting with the fandoms you're in because that's how I've made friends. It's easier to do that if you're anxious about making friends outside.

Try new hobbies. Take a deep breath. If you want to garden, try it out. You're not going to be perfect the first time. It's a learning process at anything and you have to just try. You don't get to live it if you don't try. You have to consider your limits and reflect on what is going to be the easiest thing to try.

It's never too late.

Try to start small and work your way up.

#pinecone anon #ask #mod kait

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bixiaoshi · 5 years

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this is a rant post so feel free to skip 😎

[[MORE]]

idk what i want to rlly say so i feel like it will be whatever comes to my mind first kesjdksjf

but like, its so unfair what my dad did to me. he chose another life over his only daughter, like he was a good dad after he and my mom broke up, when i was 4 years old he was a good dad, when i was 5 years old he was a good dad and then i was 6 years old and he stopped doing everything he did.

he stopped visiting me every wednesday, he stopped taking me out being just the two of us, he stopped going to my school presentations bc he had work. it's like, he stopped caring

all of sudden i had to be this doll that wore clothes they chose for me. 8 years old me had to straighten my hair bc it was too puffy for their liking. everything i did was wrong, if i knew smth they were telling me, it was wrong bc then i would be miss know-it-all

if i told either my mom or my dad something i only confide in one of them, the other would know immediately and i usually got called out by my father of what i told my mom. i got called out by his boyfriend for something i told my mom, i couldnt trust either of them bc somehow the other party would know.

when i was a kid i had to act like an adult bc there were things i couldnt do, i couldnt like. i had to have the perfect hair, a kid had to use cream after every shower bc then her skin would he dry as fuck. i had to wear perfume bc otherwise i'd smell bad, i always had to have the perfect hair. i couldnt be fat because then i wasnt gonna be attractive, i was an ugly kid bc i wasnt skinny.

9 y/o and i had to choose between my dad and my mom because both of them did smth to me after a ballet presentation i had. i chose my mom and it was the biggest mistake i did bc i made my dad's bf sad, i disappointed the ppl on my dad's side because a 9 y/o preferred her mom

10 y/o it was my fault me and my dad, an adult, didnt talk. 10 y/o me had to wear certain type of clothes chosen by my dad's boyfriend bc then she would look ugly, she had to straighten her hair bc then it would look ugly and no one would love me if i was ugly.

12 y/o and i had to be some kind of way so i could go live with them, she stopped going. it was her fault, she made her dad sad and it was all her fault. they never did nothing wrong, something took over her and it was her fault she just stopped going. started self-harming, it was a joke to both of them, i couldnt attend an english course bc i stopped going to my dad's, their punishments was me not learning a whole new language

13 y/o me, vacations i got sick, it was same as always, i just wanted to have attention, i wasnt rlly sick, i just wanted attention. attention i never wanted, attention i was never gave as a kid, i made everyone disappointed bc i just wanted fucking attention and didnt actually get sick. no one believed the kid, they believed the adults, i was lying i was a liar.

14 y/o me, knew how to wear heels, knew how to wear makeup, knew how to straighten and curl my hair, and not for myself, but for my dad and his bf, bc if i didnt i was ugly, if i didnt do any of those, i looked ugly.

15th birthday, i invited my dad bc i didnt want to go to the dinner he wanted to take me to bc i didnt have the energy. i told him the hour, i told him everything. he didnt come, why? because he chose going out of the city instead of his daughter, he chose something he could do any other day over her daughter's 15th birthday.

it was always like that, he chose his bf over his so-beloved-daughter, there was always more important than his daughter, never was a priority for him. i was never enough for neither of them, i always had to be like someone else, i always had to be someone else. i had to be prettier, i had to be skinnier, i had to wear clothes i didnt rlly like. i always had to shut up i always had to like whatever the fuck they wanted. i couldnt cry, i couldnt be sad because if i did i wanted attention, if i did voice why i was sad, it wasnt that big i was just exaggerating, there were people that had it worse.

my grades were never enough, i wasnt smart enough, i was dumb because i didnt understand maths. learning a whole language by myself starting age 11 was my job, it wasnt special, knowing a language i wasnt always in touch with wasnt special. i wasnt bilingual because i never received professional english education. i couldnt study photography because it was a poor job, i wanted a camera at least and who was the one who got it? my dad. my dad who never was rlly interested in photograohy got a camera and classes with a professional. and me? i had to just look how that all happened.

i couldnt do basketball bc it was too far away from my dad's house, was i rlly sure thats what i wanted? i couldnt keep with ballet, because according to my dad's bf my mom never took me; every weekend i stayed at my mom's my grandma took me to ballet classes. learning the guitar? was i sure enough i wanted that? i was gonna be fat i was gonna be ugly, i couldnt play the guitar bc then i would get ugly and i didnt want that right? because i wasnt pretty already, did i want to get uglier?

don't talk abt your interests, no one cares. don't talk about what you feel, it's just an exaggeration. oh hey, why dont u talk abt whats happening to u? youre the same as your mother, you just want attention and then nothing's happening. don't ask for something you want, you'll look desperate, why are u asking for certain food? are u anxious? do u want to get fatter? we'll go to new york for new year's even tho its one of ur biggest dreams, oh what about you? you ask; get a husband with money and he will take you.

don't believe in santa, thats childish and youre already 13 years old. dont be a kid, youre 10 years old youre not a kid anymore.

youre not special, the world doesnt revolve around you

#long post #dad tw #tw: dad issues #my dad broke me. my dad ruined me #and it was all my fault. he never did something wrong #i was just exaggerating. it never was soemthing to be sad #jo talks

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drunkjaked · 2 years

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OMG SAX IM DONE W MY ASSIGNMENTS

AHHH i’ve missed you sm it feels like forever since i’ve talked w you. first off, how are you? how have you been? i hope your well.

it felt so weird and annoying to be stressed on my bday but i felt so blessed from your wishes and five days later im free from school for a whole two weeks!

ugh i hate uni already. but i also kinda like it? it’s weird. maybe bcs one of my degrees (i’m doing a double degree) is creative writing?

i’ve been obsessed w creating writing since i was five yrs old so every class just feels like chilling and free time for me. loving it. my other degree however is IT and…just kill me now, please.

also… i won’t delve into the situation w your anon community that happened a few days ago? i can’t remember lost track of time. but i just wanna let you know that i love you sm sax and i appreciate how you try and make everyone that comes to your blog feel welcome.

yes, i feel insecure as well sometimes. esp bcs i know i’m a great writer but i’m too shy to do anything abt it but then i read over all out little talks and just the feeling of genuineness that i get from you, it warms my heart so thank you.

i might actually open a blog or two in the future for my own writing abt my ults (if i’m bothered and brave enough)

anyway, i was just wondering what course are you doing in uni? kinda curious.

also, i requested to add you as a friend on discord, so if you feel like talking in priv, hmu anytime

ily babes, so glad to have free time now so we can catch up

-🧚‍♀️ anon

HEYYYYY 🧚‍♀️ im so glad to hear from u 🥳 and yes it feels like years but i'm happy to hear that ur assignments r done, how did they go?

im doing alright, i've been hanging out a lot with my irls i think i was out like 5 times this week 😭 which is a lot even for the whole month so i think i'll be spending some time alone for a little while 🤞 social battery def feeling kinda dead and im for sure a little anxious but other than that i'm doing gooooood <3 i hope the same for u!

im sorry to hear that u weren't feeling too good on ur bday but im glad that my message lifted ur spirits even if temporarily ! and omg 2 whole weeks.. u r livin the D R E A M 🧚‍♀️, truly

uni is so 😵‍💫 (derogatory) but im just so glad im gonna finish relatively soon - not feeling so glad about having to write a dissertation next year tho.. i am really happy to hear that you're liking it even if just a bit bc it's so hard to stay motivated when it makes u want to take a fork to the eye ☺️

that's really cool actually and i hope to get to read some of ur writing in the future!! but agh 🧚‍♀️ i'm so jealous of you i wish i was studying writing rboarnoaj im gonna weep but i graduate next summer so i plan to do a postgrad in journalism or something of the sort so i can actually do something with my life that i'll enjoy..

i'm studying architectural technology which is essentially like domestic (mainly) architecture with some civil engineering involved #WomenInStem and it's killing me 😭😭😭 i really loved physics in school so i don't mind doing that but omds the maths is gonna put me in the grave im so bad at maths i can't deal..

tysm for saying so it makes me happy to hear that u feel that way and i hope u know that i love you also <333 i'll always be here for u, so i hope u don't forget that or ever feel alone / like u have nobody

that's so exciting and i hope that if u do, u lmk what ur url is so i can read ur stuff <33

okay yes of course and please remember the same extends to u & feel free to hit me on disc to talk about anything u need, ok??

i love u tooooo and yes me too this catch up has been really nice <3 talk soon, i hope 💌🫀

#🧚‍♀️ anon #saxophonist 💌🫀

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funfactory-moved · 6 years

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i lov a long story!

also congrats on freeing urself

klfjsd thank u ALRIGHT HERE WE GO (in case other ppl didn’t see: i quit my job today and was gonna talk abt why the whole thing sucked)

so for some background, i worked at bagel place in the union building on my campus and i worked every sunday from 7am to noon doing food prep (which is chopping vegetables and preparing things for the upcoming week), every thursday from 2pm to 6:30pm (closing shift), and every monday/wednesday form 6am-11am (an opening shift). so my hours were pretty consistently early which i knew would be hard for me but i was willing to try.

so my first two shifts were ok. i was tired for both of them and the monday shift was busy as hell but there were a sufficient amount of people around to help and people were helping me out with what to do. then wednesday comes around. i show up at 6am and absolutely no one shows up until i’ve been there for an hour. no one called or texted me to tell me i was going to be alone and no one gave me any sort of instruction for what to do despite it only being my second time working at 6am like that. i called and texted my boss so many times and she didn’t respond until hours after my shift had ended. not to mention when someone finally did show up, we were the only two people there until 9 because several other people who were supposed to work at that hour just didn’t show up without giving any notice and we had to call in people who technically didn’t even work with us because we were so understaffed and we couldn’t handle the breakfast rush.

so basically i had only been trained on one thing (taking orders) at this point and i had never made any of our bagel sandwiches before and suddenly i was expected to learn how to make all of them while on a time crunch because there’s so many people in line waiting for food and i have to try and do that while also taking orders because we didn’t have enough people so i had to take on multiple things. so it was my third day and i knew nothing and yet i was thrown into doing half of the tasks required to handle the breakfast rush.

and then my next sunday shift comes and my boss doesn’t show up yet again with no word. and this is the food prep shift and the first time me and the only other person who works that day had done it was the week before and my boss just gave us little tasks to do at the time and did a lot of the things for herself. so basically we’re left trying to guess what the fuck we need to do to prepare for week since the two of us only learned a portion of what needed to be done and my boss didn’t answer her phone and didn’t tell us she wasn’t going to be there and didn’t tell us anything.

and the next day was pretty similar to the first wednesday i mentioned where no one showed up and we were left rushing to get things done and while i was a little more familiar with how to do things, our breakfast rush was worse since it was a monday and i ended up accidentally burning and nicking myself multiple times because i was in such a rush to get things done that i was being careless with things that were hot/sharp. bc you know.. getting things done on time is more important than my physical safety. and then wednesday wasn’t as bad because the required amount of people actually showed up but ever since sunday, i had started getting so stressed and anxious about this job that the night before my shifts i wouldn’t be able to sleep and i would lie awake crying because i was so nervous about being left to do things on my own with hardly any idea of what i was supposed to do.

i should also mention that at this point, even though i had only been working there for slightly over a week, my parents and all of my friends were already telling me to reconsider employment there because i was so stressed and lacking so much sleep. during shifts, especially busy ones, i was having to work and try to hide the fact that i was on the verge of a panic attack because i needed to get so many things done.

so then we get to this sunday, and my boss doesn’t show up yet again with no fucking word about why and we’re told by someone that we “should know what we’re supposed to do” despite it being our third time working that type of shift, and the last time we had worked that shift we guessed on everything we needed to do.

and then today is when i finally cracked. i was going to wait until the end of the week to see how i felt, but today pushed me over the edge. i thought it was going to be a good day because someone actually showed up at the same time as me. but then the only other person besides him that showed up was a guy who was literally working there for the first time because someone who was supposed to show up didn’t show up without notifying anyone she was going to be gone. so it’s me, who barely knows what i’m doing because everything i’ve been doing is a wild guess and i’m still learning things, a completely new guy, and another guy who knows more.

so the guy who knows more is being a fucking asshole because he’s acting like he’s doing all the work since he’s more experienced than we are and he’s making it seem like he’s taking the majority of the workload when i was busting my ass trying to make sandwiches and i was being given so much and rushing so much that i kept dropping fully made sandwiches on the ground and would have to remake them. we also had implemented a new system where instead of taking orders on paper, we would take them on the register and the order would be printed out on the receipt. but orders kept getting lost so we would have customers sitting off to the side angrily wondering why their food isn’t ready when literally we don’t even have any record of the order.

we were in such a rush to complete things that the new guy sliced a bagel pretty badly to the point where it got stuck inside the toaster and literally fucking caught on fire. it wasn’t big enough to endanger anyone but it smoked up the kitchen and made it smell for the rest of the day. and then the worst part was when i was trying to get sauce out of a squeezy bottle but couldn’t get any out because there was a tomato chunk stuck in the nozzle. i was in a rush so i started squeezing it more forcefully, thinking that the bagel would just get covered in a large glob of sauce once the tomato got unstuck, but the sauce literally exploded.

i had sauce on my shirt, jeans, shoes, and face and it was in my hair and it splattered onto the bagels in the bagel case behind me and it got on the floor and on the screen of one of the registers behind me. and since i was so overwhelmed with the amount of orders i still had to do and how behind i was and how this was a rather prominent inconvenience, i wasn’t able to stop myself from sobbing in the middle of the kitchen in the view of all my coworkers and customers. and like.. the customers just looked super displeased because they had already been waiting ages and now they had to wait longer bc i couldn’t stop crying.thankfully my coworker let me go calm down in the back for a moment but i was still embarrassed and still covered in sauce with no change of clothes and still had 10+ orders to complete. i was so fed up after today that i decided i really need to quit my job.

so basically this job is managed unprofessionally. there was a lack of communication and proper training that often left me working by myself trying to figure out the things i needed to do and would often leave my coworkers needing to pick up what i missed because i was clueless. even when i was working with someone, i would have to stop my coworkers in their tasks every two second to ask what to do because i didn’t know and they were the only people i could ask. this job was also shitty because there was absolutely no backlash for people who didn’t show up to work without warning, meaning that people started doing it all the fucking time. it fucked over everyone else because we always had disastrous mornings with 2 people doing jobs meant for 6 people.

my anxiety was just through the roof with this job and i couldn’t sleep at night thinking about it. i quit because of the shitty managing and because the way it was managed was extremely damaging to my mental health, which was already faring pretty badly due to homesickness, school stress, and my depression just generally being worse lately.

sorry this was so long but fjklsdj i warned u it was a long story. if u read this then yeehaw

#also sorry it took me like 7 hours to answer this #i put in a read more link #so sorry to my mobile friends klsdjfsld #Anonymous

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nordness · 7 years

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[ LITTLE ME by Little Mix softly playing in the background ]

introducin’ MARGO “ARO” NORDNESS

hola, sky back @ it again with another charrie !! ( i play these nerds: @elvyras & @horrcrphile ). warning, i love my lil snowflake v much & yeah, ik this is hella long bahEE. ALSO, i'm v nervous abt actually bothering & boring people, so it would be hella appreciated if you came to me for plotties

meet margo nordness, who happens to hate her name, but instead of having her friends call her marg or argo or whatever, they call her A R O. well … that’s surely what they’d call her if she had any. anyway

her parents met during a summer festival, quickly & thoughtlessly engaging in a fling, a fling that turned into a seemingly serious relationship. after only five months of dating, they got married. her mother was a nurse & her father was a mechanic. they were struggling financially, but a bigger problem was her father’s unreasonable jealousy. he’d forbid her mom to wear skirts & dresses, for example. almost exactly a year after their wedding, aro’s mom found out she was pregnant. she shared the news with her husband, hoping he’d be as happy as she was, but no. he ordered her to get an abortion, which she refused. they got into a heated fight, he hit her & then left. later that night he showed up drunk as fuck, packed his bags & just like that he was gone.

they got a divorce & aro’s mom moved back in with aro’s grandparents, who helped her through her pregnancy, along with aro’s uncle & his family ( she has two cousins who are like siblings to her !! )

you think you’ve seen the last of aro’s dad ?? fuck no ! when she was two years old, he showed up & tried to take her away from her mom, become her legal guardian instead

for years the two were fighting over the poor child, who had to go to different psychologist so that they’d figure out her feelings, whether she liked living with her mom, whether she missed her dad and would prefer living with him instead, whether she was depressed & so on. one time they asked her to draw her family & she drew her mom, grandparents, uncle & aunt and the two cousins. no father.

eventually her dad backed the fuck away, but he was allowed to see aro on weekends and such. she hated that. she’d always bawl her eyes out when she had to go see him. she didn’t know why, she simply hated the thought of him.

later they discovered that he never truly wanted aro for himself, that he was solely trying to reach out to her mother by using her as an excuse ?? like, he wanted to get back together with her & didn’t really care about the kid. but anyway, she hasn’t heard anything from him ever since she was 15. he simply vanished, so he’s out of the picture now.

aro’s always been a good kid !! golden !! everyone knew she was THE favourite grandchild among the three, perhaps because she was the youngest & the one who had had the most problems in her life

she’s always been good at school. a straight a student. her social skills, though ? awful. she was that shy, chubby kid who always got good grades. the kind that only hung out with other quiet kids & only during school hours. she had a couple of neighbourhood kids that she played with, however. AT HOME, though, it was like she was a different child. the loudest, happiest.

kids called her fatty & would only talk to her when they wanted to copy her homework ?? she was a complete loser in their eyes, painfully boring. they bullied her so fuckin much, she would always cry alone in her room, but tell her mom that she had the best time in school

that whole thing stuck with her til high school. in high school she was invisible. & while every other girl blossomed, she remained the same. baby face, struggling with weight. dating. while everyone was kissing and losing virginity, she had tragic crushes. her crushes would last for years. in high school, she had a crush on one of the popular guys, but they only talked, like, once. but no. he was perfect in her eyes. nothing ever happened between them, though

she had three best friends in school !! three quiet girls !! they were so different, but everyone viewed them as the same. they’re still best friends, even though they’re going to different colleges.

about the whole weight thing. aro hates food, she used to live on sweet things. she couldn’t understand why she had a bigger tummy & chubby cheeks. she was very insecure. after a series of tragic events ( her grandparents passing & her uncle shockingly dying as well - this is already too long, m not gonna write every lil detail ), she lost her period for four months. after going to 10 doctors, they found out she has hashimoto’s thyroiditis & insulin resistance. LONG STORY SHORT, she’s fine, she just needs to take her meds, exercise a lot, eat healthy ( gross ), avoid SUGAR & use stevia products instead ( which is the worst thing for her ), drink hella water & only a glass of wine now & then and she should be fine. of course, she cheats when it comes to sweets and alcohol, sometimes skips meals. BUT with this new lifestyle, her body started functioning normally & during the summer after high school ended, she got a rocking body & strenghtened mentally

even though her mom ( a nurse ) advised her against it, she’s going to med school now & wants to become a psychiatrist !! she hopes it will help her understand herself, her father’s choices, & help other people live better.

when i said that she wants to understand herself, i meant her slight anxiety issues + she thinks she’s bipolar ?? she thinks. she’s afraid to talk to anyone about it, but the symptoms are there

she’s more sociable now !! hopes people will burn the old images of her from their mind

she’s a demigirl with she/they pronouns & she honestly has no idea what her sexual orientation is ,,, like i said, she’s never been with anyone.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

one or both of her cousins !! they’re both older than her & they all grew up together. they know she’s tiny & fragile, so they’ve always protected her & let her hang out with them and their friends & such. maybe one of them teases her a lot in order to make her stronger. idk

neighbourhood friends: a couple of kids who’d always go out and play hide & seek, play with a ball, run around, be careless together. aro would always forget about her worries when she was around them. perhaps they drifted apart slightly, but reconnecting after a few years would be amazing

kids who bullied her

high school best friends

roommate(s) !!

a guy she was desperately in love with ( or, she was desperately in love with the idea of him ), but they only talked once. mMmmMmm ,, does he remember her now ? did he share her feelings or would he laugh in her face if she confessed everything now ?

a half sibling ? like, maybe her father had that kid before he met her mother

a step sibling ? her mother has a boyfriend now & he has a kid. maybe they are tight af, maybe they hate each other who knows

extremely extroverted friend who drags her to every single party & tries to get her together with their other friends

literal MOM friend. the one who knows about her health issues & always smacks her hand when she tries to eat something sweet. maybe sometimes they feel bad, so they let her, but make her swear that she wouldn’t eat anything else sugary for the rest of the day. someone who reminds her to take her meds.

a person she met online. she likes them a lot. turns out they’re living in the same town. they’re supposed to meet, but aro’s anxious bc she’s too self-conscious. she’s worried she’s not half as entertaining irl.

some smooth motherfucker who’s like ,, aYE sweet mama @aro. 11/10 wants to teach her how to kiss, probably has an ulterior motive

the girl who made her realise she’s hella attracted to girls as well

#atxintro3 #@tag gods pls help me now #that song choice tho #mental health /#illness /#death /#body image /

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kittlesandbugs · 7 years

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ok but forrealsies even though I did in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM SEND THAT ASK me?? in love with those two?? I would NEVER--embarrassing story time. so senior yr of hs, I have this class on the top floor fourth period (which is the last period of the day we had block scheduling) and there's a couple little background info things I need to get out of the way before I can tell the whole story. so, context basically. I had 3rd lunch, we had 3 lunch periods, all of which happened during 3rd period (1/?)

3rd lunch happened after you went to your first 3 classes, and then when the bell rang (for the end of 3rd period) your lunch would also be over. and then I’d have to go from the ground floor… to the third floor (we had FIVE FLOORS basement, ground, 1st, 2nd, 3rd) not as bad as in the mornings when I had to go from the basement to the third floor AND across the entire fucking building but you get the point. so I’m heading up the ridiculous number of stairs to my last class of the day when (2/?)

I get up there and I see that there are PEOPLE IN THE CLASSROOM and my anxious brain goes “WHAT THE FUCK DID THE BELL ALREADY RING DID I MISS IT AM I LATE AS HELL TO CLASS??” like, not just “oh some people arrived early” no this is like FULL ON TEACHER TALKING ABT SUBJECT CLASS. more things to note: most classrooms on the 3rd floor have 2 doors bc they used to be smaller rooms (where the nuns lived I went to a catholic school) and my seat is closer to the OTHER door not the one I’m near so (3/?)

panicked, I fuckin head into the classroom to get to my seat as fAST AS POSSIBLE BC H O L Y S H I T and I’m like. halfway across the room. I think my teacher stopped talking. when I realize. this. is not my class. like, it’s the right class ROOM and it’s actually the same SUBJECT but. these aren’t the people in my class. these people. have it 3rd period. so I ashamedly cannot turn around and leave so I continue my way across the classroom to my (thankfully empty) seat where I awkwardly set(4/?)

down my backpack and my teacher is like “what even” (and a bunch of girls (as I went to an all girls hs) go “happy birthday!” because it was, indeed, my birthday) and I am ashamed as all hell and I don’t want to admit I just made this fucking huge ass mistake so I make up on the spot “I um. had to go to the bathroom and I wanted to drop off my backpack first. I’m sorry.” and then I went and hid in the bathroom until the bell rang. WHAT’S EVEN WORSE is the teacher actually BELIEVED ME and so(5/?)

during my ACTUAL CLASS PERIOD she told everyone that by senior yr I had become this outgoing bean that wasn’t scared to interrupt her class (as she was also in charge of the broadcast studio where we did announcements and I was a shy bean freshman yr who did announcements for anime club) and I didn’t. have the heart to tell her. how fucking wrong she was. (6/6)

BEE’S STORY FOR THE WORLD TO ENJOY. I can honestly say I haven’t done that, but this past week, I accidentally wandered into one of my principle’s office instead f the teacher’s room because I forgot what door was the one I wanted and I can’t fucking read kanji.

#masterwizardsylthfarn

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