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alidravana · 2 years

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Finding Yourself Along the Way

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Pairing: Marjan Marwani & Nancy Gillian (pre-Marcy)

Length/Rating: ~1k, Teen

Tags: Self-Love, Self-Discover, Childhood Friends, Developing Relationship, Sexuality Crisis

Summary:

Upon finding a friendship bracelet in her closet, Marjan comes to a conclusion about her sexuality.

Written for Day 5: Self-Love/Self-Discovery for @911prideweek! Thanks to the wonderful @alilypea for editing!

I just want to say that I’m really happy with this fic, and I hope you all enjoy it. I get a bit teary at the end myself, but it’s not meant to be sad.

Check it out here on A03 or continue reading below!

*****

Everything was easier when they were children.

Marjan could remember the first day that she had met Salim. She had been practicing her soccer kicks in the backyard, and instead of hitting the upper right corner of the net, her ball sailed way past the goal post, over the fence, and into a neighbour’s yard. Sighing loudly, Marjan went to tell her mom where she was going and started knocking on doors to find her ball.

Before she could knock on the third house’s door, she could hear a shout from the backyard. Having a gut feeling, she paused on her knock and looked around the side of the house. There was her ball, in the hands of a taller boy.

Salim had been good-looking then, too, if a bit gangly. And that mischievous look in his eye as he held out the ball for her to take, that stuck around into adulthood too.

“Thanks,” Marjan answered quietly, turning to go back to her house to keep practicing.

“My name’s Salim,” the boy said before she left, and she responded in kind before taking off. Boys were nothing but trouble anyway, Marjan told herself as she returned to her house. Nothing but trouble.

Truer words had never been spoken. Salim and Marjan eventually became partners in crime, climbing every tree, hitting every ball over the fences, and playing small pranks on their neighbours. Their two families bonded as well, and before long, it was decided that Marjan and Salim would eventually marry.

Marjan was thrilled. She had been hesitant about the whole idea, never feeling much attraction towards the opposite sex. But now that her future husband was going to be her best friend, she could feel her whole body ease.

One of the older neighbours down the street passed away a couple of years later, and a new family moved in. A younger family, with three siblings, the oldest of which was Marjan’s age. Nadia, her name was.

Nadia was amazing. She was super smart, funny, and active, quickly joining the all-girls soccer team that Marjan was also on. The two of them quickly became the best of friends, to which Salim was not particularly happy about. Since Nadia’s arrival, Marjan had spent less and less time with Salim. Still, as Marjan ran her fingers over the sparkly beans adorning her friendship bracelet, she figured that that was fine, that she and Salim had plenty of time to spend together when they got older.

And so Marjan continued to focus her energy towards her friendship with Nadia. Then she started noticing the little things, like how nicely a dress looked on Nadia, how she would lean into Nadia when the two of them were cuddling and watching a movie, how their fingers would sometimes become intertwined as they walked on their own. And then, at one point Nadia pulled her hijab off when it was just the two of them, and as her long brown hair tumbled down her shoulders, Marjan had frozen at the sight.

Nadia was beautiful.

No, no, this wasn’t right. She wasn’t supposed to be feeling these sorts of feelings about another girl. Marjan was supposed to grow up, get married to Salim, and make a family.

Instead of taking the time to think about what those feelings were really telling her, Marjan pushed them all to the side. She told Nadia that they shouldn’t be friends anymore and stopped visiting with her. She asked the teacher at school to switch their desks around, she ended up withdrawing from soccer, and generally just ignored her. But she couldn’t get rid of the bracelet though, even though she tried.

The bracelet that was now staring her in the face. She had forgotten all about it until now. But as it laid there on the bed, resting on the scarf it had been wrapped in, everything came rushing back. She let out a chuckle, wiping a couple stray tears away.

When Salim had asked if she loved loved him, at first, she didn’t understand the question. But the more she thought about it, the more she knew that she didn’t. They kept in contact with semi-regular updates, but Marjan couldn’t remember who Salim’s friends were or why he was so excited about his latest presentation. She couldn’t push herself to be interested in his profession. When she laid down at the end of the day, Salim wasn’t the first thing she thought of or when she woke up in the morning, he wasn’t the first thing she thought of then either.

It was Nancy.

Nancy was the first person she thought of when she woke up in the morning, the person who was on her mind all through her day, her last thought before she fell asleep.

Her beautiful smile when Marjan walked into work, the sound of her laughter at Mateo’s bad jokes, the look she got in her eyes when she was about to make a devastating move in Catan; everything about Nancy was memorizing.

Every little thing that she did made Marjan want to hold her forever, and never let her go.

Marjan reached out, her fingers tracing over the beads, the glitter faded slightly over the years that it was stored. She whispered a brief apology to Nadia, wrapping the bracelet carefully in the scarf, and placed it back into the closet.

Maybe sometime soon, when the time was right, she’d be able to tell Nancy all about Nadia. About that beautiful girl that Marjan fell in love with, but didn’t know that then. Didn’t have the right words to explain her emotions, her feelings; didn’t feel at peace with her identity as she does right now.

But that lesson would be for another day, another time.

Because right now, Marjan needed to share her truth with Nancy, to share her story…in the hopes that it would maybe become theirs.

#911PrideWeek #911prideweek2022 #day 5 #self-discovery #911 lone star #911lsfic #marjan marwani #salim #nancy gillian #the power of friendship bracelets #sexuality realization

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alidravana · 2 years

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Different Paths

Fandom: 911

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Casey

Length/Rating: ~1.1k, Teen

Tags: Coming Out, Alternate Meeting, Gay Bar, Supportive Friends and Co-workers

Summary:

Buck decides to finally come out of the closet, but is surprised when some of his boyfriend's friends, end up also being his co-workers.

Written for Day 2: Coming Out for @911prideweek! Thanks to the wonderful @alilypea for editing!

Check it out here on A03 or continue reading below!

*****

“I didn’t expect to see someone like you here,” a female voice said right behind him, the tone a mix of accusation and surprise.

Buck couldn’t help but startle, not expecting someone to recognize him there. His boyfriend had encouraged him to come out that evening to meet some of his long-time friends and co-workers. Buck had been fairly nervous about coming, as he was still getting used to the realization that he was bisexual and currently dating a male firefighter. But his boyfriend had been out for a while now, both in his private life and at work, and Buck felt like he was constantly pushing him back into the closet, although his boyfriend would never say such a thing. So he had bucked up, so to speak, got dressed, and was waiting for his date to arrive.

Buck braced himself and turned around to see who had spoken to him. He tried to cover up the grimace at the sight of Sergeant Grant but was pretty sure she saw right through him. Ever since their confrontation over an incident involving a young mother and preemie, Buck tried to avoid her at any joint calls. It wasn’t that he didn’t respect her position, or her call at that scene, which in hindsight was probably the right call, it’s that she came across incredibly aggressive, and frankly, it made him uncomfortable.

He was surprised to see her here. This was definitely a queer bar, the rainbow neon lines that were flashing on the dance floor, along with the signs up advertising the next drag show and the list of fruity, suggestive beverages for the evening, one that he was currently sipping on. It also wasn’t a badge bar, and was far away from the 118 and her station. He stammered out a quiet hello, not really sure what to say. He was relieved when he spotted his boyfriend out of the corner of his eye, mumbling out a quick bye, and dashed across the bar to greet him with a peck on his cheek.

“Everything okay?” Casey asked, placing his hands on Buck’s shoulders and rubbing them slightly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Buck said, smiling at Casey, glad that his boyfriend was finally here. “Just ran into someone that I know from work, and it surprised me a bit,” Buck said honestly, looking back over his shoulder to see if Sergeant Grant was still at the bar. She wasn’t, and Buck couldn’t see her in the crowd either, so he turned back to Casey, forgetting all about the encounter.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable being here, with me?” Casey said, starting to pull slightly away from Buck.

“Yes, I’m ready, babe,” Buck said, pulling Casey into a brief but passionate kiss, wanting to make all of Casey’s concerns disappear. “Let’s go meet your friends,” he added, interlacing his fingers with Casey’s. Seeing the smile light up Casey’s face, he knew he had made the right move being here tonight.

*****

Pulling out his phone, Casey checked the group chat to see where they had found a table. After taking a look around the room, he could see Hen waving at him from the back of the room, further away from the speakers so they could actually hear each other talk. Squeezing Buck’s hand, he tugged him along behind him towards the table. He could feel Buck hesitate slightly, but when he looked at him questioningly, Buck just smiled and indicated that he should keep going.

Once they had reached the table, Casey could feel the awkwardness settle over the occupants as everyone took in his partner. Hen immediately stood up and hugged Buck. As his boyfriend eased into the hug, the light bulb finally went off in Casey’s head. Hen has worked at the same station since she started coming to their group, the 118. Which was the exact same station that Buck worked at. Why didn’t he put that together until now? But the grin that was now on Buck’s face was stunning, and he felt reassured that Buck was feeling comfortable as the two sat down, Buck shuffling his chair closer so that he could rest his hand on Casey’s thigh.

“Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Buck,” Casey said, noticing that both Hen and Athena gave him a small smile in response, Buck blushing and giving a little wave. A brief awkward silence fell over the table, but then Athena immediately launched into an amusing traffic stop from earlier that week, and the conversation fell back into swing.

*****

Buck grinned as he laughed along with Sergeant Grant’s, no Athena’s she had said to use, story retelling, leaning back into the arm that Casey had wrapped around his shoulders. He appreciated seeing this side of the woman, now sensing that her aggressiveness came more with her badge, a presence that she had to put on to do her job. As Athena wound down her conversation, Buck wasn’t surprised when the next question was from Hen, directed at him and Casey.

“So, you two have been dating for a few months, right?” Hen asked, taking a sip of her beer, but her eyes never left Buck’s face, as if she was judging his reactions.

But Buck felt comfortable, the warmth of Casey’s arm around his shoulders grounding him, and answered with ease. “Yeah, four months, right, Case?” He said, turning towards Casey for a quick confirmation. “He’s been very patient,” Buck added, turning back to Hen as he squeezed Casey’s thigh gently. “I’m in the process of coming out,” he elaborated, seeing confused looks around the table to his previous response. “This is all still new to me.”

Hen nodded in response, reaching out to pat his hand. “Well, when you are ready to come out to the rest of the 118, you know I have your back,” Hen said, shifting back into her chair.

“We all do Buckeroo,” Athena added, clinking her glass against his and then Hen’s before taking another drink. Reaching the end of her glass, Athena stood up, offering to get drinks for the table.

Buck could feel Casey’s warm breath against his ear as he leaned in to whisper. “You’re one of us now, Athena has granted you a nickname,” he said softly, Buck blushing in response.

“Sounds good to me,” Buck said, shifting so that his arms were around Casey instead, leaning in to give Casey a quick peck on the cheek. He gazed out at the dance floor; the rainbow lights painted a colourful picture along the dance floor, and all of a sudden Buck wanted to be out there, with Casey, dancing in the middle of it. “Do you want to dance?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

#911prideweek #911prideweek2022 #day2 #coming out #Buck/Casey #bisexual buck #Hen Wilson #Athena Grant #supportive friends

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