#3 days makes me feel greasy and gross 3 days makes me go insane | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

Text

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!!

Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no.

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is.

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too.

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended

“my boy” AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~

HOYYYYYYT

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD

brewing insanity.....

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~

the moon is a silver dollar...

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass....

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk

someone needs to teach you social interactions...

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL

bestest party clownnnn

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross???

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg

good luck getting me out of it pfffft

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE

givin me ideas....

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT

gonna put people off their food doin that

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the -

erika.exe has stopped working

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I -

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT -

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it

“kill the rich” lmao relatable

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though

sleepy bb ~

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh...

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense...

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears?

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me...

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down.

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out.

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers.

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ???

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~

dancing towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown......

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

#erileck #self-shipping #lmao this was fun

19 notes · View notes

pokemagines · 5 years

Text

JAPAN TRIP 2k19 with Mod Elesa (1/?)

hey n’yall it’s mod elesa, lemme tell u bout my japan trip! u can find some of the photos of these events on my instagram @atel2er! i didn’t want to flood this post with pictures hehe ,,

GENERAL STUFF

went for school, study abroad trip to study visualization and simulation of “serious games” that businesses buy and use (but i dont feel like talking abt it since this is the FUN POST

may 10-26

the flight was 11 hours, p easy, i didn’t know anybody going into the trip because i didn’t go to any of the meetings HAHhaHEHA

whatever. everyone on the trip initially came off as if they had yellow fever and i was like ... i’m really not trying to interact with FETISHIZERS

turns out they were all really cool! only this one kid was a real weeaboo who was greasy and tall and a neckbeard who kept talking about being “culturally insensitive” and speaking japanese constantly to the teacher and the TA like ... ok patrick we get it you flex

i stayed in a hotel in shinjuku! everything is so small and i used the bidets for the first time and WOO chile that shit feels FUNKY on your asshole

i visited shinjuku major (kabukicho aka red light district, couple other places!), ikebukuro (THE MEGA POKEMON CENTER), mt fuji, fuji q highland, akihabara, hamamatsucho (area where tokyo tower is), HARAJUKU, and the emperor’s palace! i’m probably forgetting some places since we went to a lot of temples and shrines that were cool ...

the public transportation in japan is scarily on time.. like, by the second. they apologize if they’re one minute early and will wait until the scheduled time before they move omg

the subway stations have their own jingles! they kind of act as an alarm system because a lot of people sleep on the subway (which is why people generally don’t talk on it) and will recognize the jingle for their stop!

the crowded hours on the subway are noon and 6-8pm... like, its insane. it’s actually packed like sardines in there.

EVERYONE THERE IS SO SHORT.... i was taller than a lot of the grown men there (i’m 5′4″ or 162 cm for reference) and most people were around 5 feet tall... the only people taller than me were some kids around my age and this gaggle of japanese schoolgirls who were like 5′7+ and i was like. sis you’re 13, why are you that tall

pokemon is EXTREMELY prevalent in japan wherever you go. there’s pikachu stickers on taxis, pikachu is on ads on the subway and at the AIRPORT, pokemon go is widely played by a lot of people and so many of the people in my group played it so i got conned into playing again. i leveled up 5 times within 3 days and honestly? i’m god

anime is very normal there... i know that sounds all “weeby” but a lot of normal shops had animated mascots and there were ads for anime all over the place.

literally gacha machines everywhere i spent a lot of coins on gacha machines plz kill me

the homies in japan loooove crepes. they sold so many crepes. everywhere. just crepes. also spaghetti carbonara! and corndogs HAHAHA

the food there is so cheap but SOOO GOOD. sushi isn’t all that expensive at all?? like a set of 16 pieces is 1080Y... meanwhile that cost in america is like. $6000 HAHAHAHAH.

very humid? at all times? also the RAIN is debilitating if u make one wrong step you will slip and die (like i did! i stepped on a tile and fucking fell into a puddle! i have bruises still!)

SHINJUKU (detective pikachu day, may 10)

i went to go see detective pikachu on its release day in shinjuku! before that, i went to a couple sega buildings--

the sega buildings are 4 story buildings FILLED with claw machines holding stuffed animals, figurines, candy, all kinds of stuff. when i went, there was a lot of detective pikachu-related stuff. i saw this detective pikachu hat in one of the machines and spent 1000Y (about $10) or 10 attempts at the claw machine ... i still can’t believe i got it ... nobody was there to see it besides me and i YELLED when it dropped

i wore the hat that entire day around shinjuku because i honestly felt like god. people would point at me and go like “ah! meitantei pikachu!” and smile at me. i was a celebrity. i wore the hat into the movie theatre, i wore it through the entire movie, and when i was walking out, someone tapped on my shoulder and asked for my picture. she was all nervous about her english and was like “i love your hat. may i take a picture?” and i was like omG YES U CAN... sweet bab... so that’s the first photo of me that ended up on some random person’s phone

we waited around for the mass of people to exit the theatre and then left, and we ran into her again! she asked me more questions about the hat: “did you make it?” “no, i got it in a claw machine in the sega building.” she looked dumbfounded. “in shinjuku?” “yes.” “in the sega building? over there?” “yeees.” “in a claw machine?!” “yes!” “ah! i thought you made it! it’s so cute! i’m going to get one for myself.” “lol ok have fun”

i learned that its customary to stay until the very end of the credits before leaving a movie out of respect for the people who made it! meanwhile in america we walk out when the credits roll FHDSKFJS OOPIES

SHINJUKU (visit #2)

we went in the night time to go see the red light district aka kabuki-cho because thats where a lot of the bars are

i don’t drink so i didn’t join the people who went to the bars to get CRUNK, so i dragged two other guys with me and we walked around the red light district

I SAW SO MANY HOST CLUBS. so many maid cafes. so many bars. i saw a love hotel too... i was like... i wanna go inside... Blease... and my friends were like “you’re so weird KHEDJFSk” and im like “I WAS GOOGLING THESE IN CLASS TODAY, I DIDN’T THINK THEY WERE REAL”

my friend sean (he’s from taipei, cool guy, could read a lot of the kanji so we used him to navigate the subway HAHA) was walking with me that night and we saw this hole in the wall that had stairs going down to a peep show ... homegirl had her whole ass out on the sign... tiddies covered with caution tape ... i said MAAM?

one of the signs in kabuki-cho had a woman doing straight up ahegao with (what i’m pretty sure was) nut on her face. it was a small sign and i was the only one who saw it. i lost my shit. it was the funniest thing ever

kabuki-cho is really really dirty... like people straight up litter all the time bc there’s no trashcans around? so people throw their shit on the ground? and everyone steps on it... very seedy area, very gross, but i was absolutely enthralled with the nightlife and the blatant sexual vibes half the places had!

some dude stopped me and started speaking english saying “do you like karaoke? you should come drink with me for two hours, it’s a great price if you drink a lot” and i was like “no... i have to go home” and he’s like “come onnnn it’s a good price” and i was like. i’m not very assertive with men so i started panicking and my friend sean (A GOD AMONG MEN) started speaking chinese to him and he backed off ... i love you sean you’re so fucking COOL

IKEBUKURO (pokemon mega center)

so there’s this huge mall. i forgot the name, but it’s got like a lot of floors and they’re MASSIVE

on the 2rd floor is the MEGA POKEMON CENTER!!! i was so HYPED to go in there!!! it was teeming with people but there was just... so much stuff. all kinds of merch. they had plushies of the original 151, a shitton of really cool tshirts, a whole block for detective pikachu-themed merch (pins, socks, canvas bags, shirts, patches, hats, etc), and sooo much more. there’s a giant charizard statue when you walk in, as well as a statue of a pokestop HAHA. i was so excited and i wanted to buy so many things when i was in there bc they had stuff for all the legendaries (LATIOS AND LATIAS STUFF WERE THERE I WAS SO HAPPY)!!! literally anything you can think of, they had in some kind of pokemon print. including underwear. yeah i said it. here’s a really good article that showcases some of the stuff they sold there!

for reference, 100 yen is about 1 usd. a lot of things there were 480 yen ($4.80) or 3000Y ($30) and it was just... beautiful.

when i was there, yen didn’t feel like it had monetary value since it’s not the currency i’m used to, so i sPENT WAY TOO MUCH AHFJKDFD

they had themed cash registers with each of the starters... i cried :’)

i actually went there a second time but it was packed for a different reason. some idol group was performing on the ground floor and a shitton of girls were screaming fanchants while their jpop boys danced LOLLL. now i know how people see kpop stans ...

AKIHABARA (i went like 8 times)

this is what i like to call my birthplace

we went to the maid cafe. of course we fucking did. i got a dreamland passport and some cat ears. THE MAIDS ALL LOVED HATSUNE MIKU

SPEAKING OF HATSUNE MIKU AKA MY GODDESS, she was pretty popular in akihabara! she was also on some posters in the subway stations (across tokyo, not just in akihabara) and was apparently having some magical mirai concert???

there’s this giant tower called radio kaikan thats right outside the akihabara station that’s filled with all sorts of anime shit. i spent so much money in there. Good God. there was a furret plush for 5400Y and i was so STINGY that day i shouldve BOUGHT IT.... it was a longboi and i was like... sis!!!!

remember how i said my brain didn’t register that yen had monetary value? yeah i spent hundreds of dollars here no cap ...

i went to a kaguya-sama cafe as well on another day bc my friend joe (one of the figureine-collecting weebs) wanted to go and get a chika coaster

i went into a three floor sex shop and gave no fucks, the bottom floor was filled with bdsm shit and LEATHER SCHOOLGIRL OUTFITS and it was WILD. and these two old men were just casually browsing this shit like we weren’t both looking at whips and buttplugs in Public you know

i wasn’t fazed by a lot of the stuff there bc i read Funky fanfiction but the people i went in there with were major uncomfy ... i was like PRUDES HAJKFDAHDS i almost bought something don’t tell anybody

OKAY SO. there’s this place called super potato that has a floor dedicated to old games and consoles. they had so many gameboy advances and gamecubes and old consoles (famicom, dreamcast etc) for CHEAP. they had a gameboy color for 4900Y and a gamecube for 5600Y. a bitch almost cried. they had every old pokemon game under the sun (the original red, blue, yellow, gold and silver) and i ,,, they were 480Y. they were 480Y. that’s five fucking dollars. do you know how much collectors pay for that shit on ebay? HUNDREDS. i could’ve mass bought those and sold them and made so much cash but I DIDN’T.

that store had an original unopened copy of super smash bros melee and pokemon colosseum and i was like... wait if i cop a gamecube i could play pokemon collosseum like a true g... ((i didn’t cop))

but anyways there were a lot of games that didn’t make it to america (including mother 3! which my friend connor bought! as well as the console to play it!) and just... so many old things i grew up with ...

whenever i walked out of the super potato we’d end up in an alley where all the girls who work at cafes were advertising their stuff

i always took the flyers from the girls bc they spoke their cute english to me and i was like... i’d die for you, yknow that?

ALL KINDS OF CAFES. regular maid cafe, pirate cafe, ninja cafe (you could do that thing where you karate chop a wooden block in half), sailor cafe (as in actual ship captains), shrine maiden cafe, vampire cafe, prince cafe (for the ladies ;3), catgirl cafe, bunny girl cafe... i took all of the goddamn flYERS THEY WERE ALL SO CUTE :( i wanted to go so bad...

FUJI Q HIGHLAND (also known as the time i flipped my shit and went on rollercoasters)

when i found out about fuji-q, i told my group that we HAD to go. i didn’t want to go to an onsen. i wanted to go to fuji-q. i had to. i love rollercoasters, it’s my passion, my driving fORCE IN LIFE

so fuji-q is home to 4 record-breaking rollercoasters! u got fast boi aka jojo reference do-dodonpa; EXTREME TALL BOI fujiyama; superior to x2 at six flags eejanaika; and the steepest rollercoaster in the world TAKABISHA ... i got to ride fujiyama, eejanaika, and takabisha! the scariest one was probably fujiyama despite it being very cut and dry up for... ever ... 79 meters ... oh god ... i lost my shit on the way down ladies let me TELL YOU

FUJIYAMA ALSO HAS A VIEW OF MT FUJI AND I WAS LIK E”YO GUYS ITS MT FUJI” and then we went down and i screamed

please watch the pov videos for these rides they’re very good but they don’t convey the absurd amount of excitement i had going on these rides

anyways the fuji-q park was having a sword art online collaboration when i visited, so they played SAO music and had cardboard cutouts for them across the park... kirito’s ride was fujiyama (aka the king of them all). i forgot the other ones but those alicization kiddos were there but ion care about ALICE OR EUGEO

the first ride i went on was eejanaika which is a 4d rollercoaster, pretty epic, total Baby Ride though

i went on as a single rider so i ended up getting put in this group with these college kids! the guy i was sitting next to spoke to me in english and asked basic questions: “where are you from?”, “is this [ride] easy for you?”, “how old are you?”, basic stuff. he asked why i was in japan and i told him i was studying at waseda university, and he immediately perked up and went “I GO TO WASEDA!!! WASEDA YEAH!!!” and fist bumped me ... his friends were giggling and kept asking him to ask me questions and it was just. so wholesome.

when we were abt to get on the ride he looks at me and says “my name is soichiro. call me so-chan ok??” and i was like... “so-chan” and his friENDS ALL STARTED GIGGLIGN AND I WAS LIKE U///W///U

while we were going up on the ride, he kept yelling “JESUS FUCK YOU JESUS CHRIST” and my favorite: “JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK YOU” because apparently fuck cannot be standalone! “what the fuck you” is my new fave insult (i miss you so-chan)

afterwards he kept coughing and was like. dead. his soul left his body. so i asked in him japanese like,,, “daijobu ka?” and he was like “nai.” and i just laughed at him bc BA B Y SO-CHAN CANT HANDLE SOME SPINS

i bought a corndog at fuji-q at this place called arirang hotdog which is a korean style hotdog place??? BRUH that shit is so good but i shat myself for a good minute afterwards ... damn i want those corndogs

sadly i did not get to go on do-dodonpa because nobody wanted to ride with me and i didn’t want to go by myself >:/// still mad abt that bc that was the FAST BOI ...

also. takabisha. the guiness world record with the 121 degree drop. not even scary. BUT they do hang you there for like 3 seconds before making you go down and i was like “YALL FUCKIN WITH ME” really loud when they hung us there ... PLS watch a pov video you’ll see what i mean ...

HARAJUKU (i totally forgot abt this place OH lord)

i bought ... clothes here ...

they have all those clothes with the random english words on them so OF COURSE i had to buy one AS WELL AS a hat to match!

i also bought one of those ear hats where u press the paws and the ears move ... bts inspired that one

so many people in harajuku absolutely DECKED OUT in fashion. what a bunch of legends.

apparently wearing shirts that say “babygirl” are popular here i have no clue why ,,,, also im pretty sure i remember seeing a shirt that said “call me daddy” and i’m like. Ok Japan

half the shit in english made ZERO SENSE or was SPELLED WRONG and that was common all across japan, not just on harajuku fashion pieces LMAOOOO

deadass i went to a couple businesses (fuji xerox, nissan factory, etc) and they had spelling errors all over the place... nissan really had a placard that said “Prease do not touch” AND I CACKLED hfDSKLJF ilove u nissan

#mod elesa goes to japan #mod elesa speaks #not an imagine #long post #elesa in japan 2k19

44 notes · View notes

gothify1 · 4 years

Photo

Confession: My beauty routine has not always been the cleanest. But after recently learning more about all the gross chemicals the FDA fails to regulate in our beauty products, I've made it a goal to eliminate products from my collection that contain any of these chemicals. Now, I didn't just dump my entire medicine cabinet one day (for budgetary reasons, plus I don't want to be wasteful), but I made it a rule that once I finished something, I would replace that item with a clean option. I'll admit that some things I tried were a bit lackluster, but then there were other products that knocked it out of the park—not just in the clean beauty category but in the beauty world as a whole. From the miracle cleansing balm that removes waterproof mascara in one swoop to the only natural deodorant I've ever liked, below are the 18 best nontoxic beauty products I've tried that I'm now totally committed to. This is hands down the world's best makeup remover, and it happens to be 100% clean. The green balm melts in your hands and with one swipe over your face, your makeup is gone. It even takes off my stubborn waterproof mascara and eyeliner with ease—zero rubbing required and no damage to my eyelashes. I've gotten pretty much all of my friends hooked on it because I can't stop talking about it. Another makeup remover I've recently discovered that exceeded my expectations is Pai's Rosehip Cleansing Oil. It seamlessly removes my waterproof eyeliner and mascara, and the oil consistency doesn't seem to strip my skin of moisture. If, like me, you wear waterproof makeup, do yourself a favor and give this cleanser a try. As far as facial sprays go, this is the crown jewel. It's full of hyaluronic acid to help plump the skin and antioxidants to protect against environmental stressors. Oh, and it smells like a garden in full bloom. Behold: the world's best moisturizer. Drunk Elephant's Lala Retro Whipped Cream is a thick moisturizing cream that gives your skin a major dose of hydration upon contact and soothes dry winter skin in seconds. Containing six African oils, this miracle product feels like heaven on the skin. Despite it being super thick, it absorbs quickly and can even be worn under makeup. This is another one I've gotten all of my friends (including my boyfriend) hooked on thanks to its moisturizing powers, and it's better than products I've tried with triple the price tag. May Lindstrom's Blue Cocoon exceeds the hype. It's soothing, calming, moisturizing, and smells lovely. The blue tansy and lavender promote a calm complexion, which is particularly helpful for sensitive, easily irritated skin like mine. The balm melts instantly in your hand to the consistency of an oil and then absorbs right into your skin. The price tag on this little jar is steep, but it lasts forever, as you only use about a pea-size amount each time. Confession: I have seriously dark circles under my eyes that seem to appear even if I've had 10 hours of sleep the night before. It's just one of those things I've come to accept, and I've purchased a large collection of concealers as a result. This brightening eye cream from Ole Henriksen helps lighten my dark circles thanks to its potent vitamin C, making concealing those bad boys just a little bit easier in the morning. Another Drunk Elephant pick is its cult-favorite Marula Oil, which is loaded with antioxidants to soothe and moisturize skin. I use this one at night underneath a thick moisturizer (usually Lala Whipped Cream) and wake up with skin that feels calm and refreshed. This omega booster oil is my sensitive-skin hero product. It contains omega-3, -6, and -9 plus lavender to nourish and calm my complexion and leave my skin glowing. Pai's Rosehip Oil soothes my inflamed skin instantly as it's full of antioxidants (and formulated specifically for sensitive skin). I typically use this one at night since it's an oil, so it's a bit thicker. I layer it under my heavier moisturizer and wake up with skin that looks and feels refreshed. Biossance has caused quite a commotion since its launch, and that's because it creates powerful products with clean ingredients. I recently started using the Squalane + Vitamin C Rose Oil and am already hooked. It brightens my skin with zero irritation. (I have ultra-sensitive skin, FYI.) Talk about a brightening serum. Seriously, this stuff is amazing. It makes your skin look brilliantly radiant, so much so that I usually won't wear makeup over it when I'm running around on the weekends. It's not breaking news that one of the keys to long-term skin health is sunscreen, and this nontoxic formula from Supergoop! is the perfect consistency. It's light enough to be worn under makeup and blends into the skin effortlessly—with no greasy white residue like some other sunscreens leave. This has become my go-to whether I'm wearing makeup or not. Finally, a natural deodorant that actually works. Kopari's coconut deodorant is a gel formula that not only smells amazing but also manages to keep me feeling fresh all day. Other natural deodorants I've tried either left me feeling so sticky I had to get back in the shower or stopped working about an hour after application. Now this formula takes some getting used to if you're coming from the non-natural deodorant world, but it's by far the best one I've found so far. It took me a long time to realize I should be paying attention to ingredient lists in the haircare category. For some reason, I thought about what I was putting on the skin on my body but not about the skin on my head. Once it finally occurred to me, I set out to find a clean shampoo that not only washes my strands well but also won't ruin my color. (I'm not naturally blonde anymore, unfortunately, so I spend a lot of money on hair color.) This product from Playa delivers on all accounts—and smells amazing to boot. I obviously needed a conditioner as well. If you're looking for a body wash that smells insanely refreshing and has totally clean ingredients, look no further. Nécessaire's whole line is nontoxic and offers both scented and unscented versions of most products. My favorite body wash is the eucalyptus because it makes my shower feel like a chic spa, but my boyfriend uses the sandalwood one, which smells amazing. For body lotion, on the other hand, I prefer the unscented version from Nécessaire. It does a great job moisturizing my skin without feeling too sticky or greasy after. I like the unscented so that it doesn't interfere with my perfume, but the brand also offers the same scent options as its body washes, which, as I've already mentioned, are heavenly. This body butter is the newest addition to my skincare collection, and it has definitely earned a permanent place. Created as a clean option for preventing stretch marks and moisturizing skin during pregnancy, Mutha's founder just launched her line this fall, and it's already creating buzz. I personally love the thick cream for my dry winter skin right now, and it rubs in and absorbs easily despite the heavy consistency. Next up: I tested 27 redness-reducing makeup products—these nine are legit.

0 notes

jimdsmith34 · 7 years

Text

These Beauty Tricks Will Keep Your Oily Skin Shine-Free

It’s August, otherwise known as the time of year when it feels like you’ve become a turkey slow-roasting in the heat of the sun. In New York, particularly, the concrete throws sunlight back up into your face and the garbage bakes, engulfing the city in a scent I like to call street stank.”

In other words, it’s a gross time to be alive. Men are allowed to be stinky, smelly pieces of overgrown man-flesh, but women still have to glow, sparkle and otherwise resist the laws of the universe. We’re expected to look like we just emerged from a laundry detergent commercial at all times.

As much as I’d like to shout feminism here, just you try walking into a staff meeting at your office smelling like overripe human body. See the reactions it gets you.

Speaking as an oily-skinned lady who lives without the palatial bonus of central air, the end of summer visibly appears on my body. Acne, enlarged pores, runny mascara you name it, I’ve embarrassingly lived it.

With a few of my best beauty tips, however, you’ll be set to thrive in the summer’s heat. Never forget that by September, we’ll be bemoaning the lack of sunshine.

Prime everything, even the things you didn’t know you could prime.

Would you paint your nails without a base coat? Blow dry your hair without a heat protector? The basic beauty rules of the universe stand when it comes to your sweaty, hot face, too.

Primer will make your facial skin a canvas makeup can stick to, instead of just sliding off down your neck like a morbid cartoon.

For your skin, pick a light primer that doesn’t feel like spackle. I’m partial to Urban Decay’s classic Complexion Primer Potion, which goes on clear and smooths over pores. It’s worth the $30 investment, especially if you experience a greasy nose and forehead halfway through the day (or you’re buying it for a friend who feels the same way).

If you’re not crazy about applying another product to your skin, pick NYX’s First Base Primer Spray to do the job for less than $10.

When it comes to eye makeup, don’t even think about stepping into the steamy street without first laying down a layer of protection. I stand by Too Faced’s Shadow Insurance Primer, which keeps all of my shimmers and mattes in place. As an added bonus, primer will help your shadow stay vibrant throughout the day and a single tube lasts forever.

If you’re cringing over the idea of spending even more of your paycheck at Ulta, no worries. There are DIY primer solutions for the most dedicated beauty divas.

Get spritz-y (Not to be mistaken for frisky).

On a rare occasion, you’ll come across a kind of woman who I refer to as a facial spray freak. She has at least three kinds of sprays with her at all times and buys that insanely priced Evian water spray before going on planes (at an airport store, that has to be $50). I’ve spent years writing her off as some kind of weirdo with an aerosol container.

However.

It has recently come to my attention that I am wrong. Wrong with a capital W, even.

A cool spray is uber-refreshing when you feel like you’re walking through a person-infested urban swamp and perfectly combats the 3 pm blahs. I chalk it up to two sprays that have changed my lifeand made my skin more hydrated than ever before.

First, there’s Glossier’s Soothing Face Mist, an $18 buy so good my friends have actually asked me to please shut the hell up about it. Formulated with aloe and roses to chill your skin’s redness and heat rash out, this one is a game changer.

On a more luxurious note, I can’t stop making all my co-workers use French skincare brand Caudalie’s Beauty Elixir Spray, relaunched in collaboration with designer Jason Wu. (You can also buy the regular kind, but the bottle isn’t as pretty.) The travel size fits perfectly in my work bag, and the mixture of peppermint and rosemary makes me feel like a very wealthy dowager empress.

The travel size fits perfectly in my work bag, and the mixture of peppermint and rosemary makes me feel like a very wealthy dowager empress.

This,too, can be filed under things people hate when I mention because I mention them so often. I have also forcefully spritzed a few people, shouting SEE!” into their faces beforesnatching the bottle back.

In summation: Tighten your pores and prevent extra shine with a face spray. You won’t regret it.

Choose a powder that’ll keep your skin safe from the sun.

Nobody, not even the oiliest among us, likes loose powder. The old-school, oversize powder containers are bulky, carrying a separate brush is annoying and the whole situation will inevitably explode all over your little black dress in the office bathroom before a date.

Instead of lugging around your grandmother’s solution to greasy, sweating skin, bring your blotting situation into the 21st century.

Several ladies in my life swear by Peter Thomas Roth’s Oily Problem Skin Instant Mineral Powder in SPF 30, which comes attached to a handy application brush. If blotting your shiny areas isn’t enough, try brushing the powder over the part in your hair (this one’s for you, blondies) to prevent scalp burn on extra-pale skin.

Thank me when you have so much more room in your purse for 14 kinds of lipstick you never wear.

Don’t be afraid to chill out your skincare.

When oil sits on my face all day, a breakout is inevitable. That means I’m constantly on the hunt for clay masks to draw out my blemishes before I have to go to work with a giant whitehead on my cheek. The struggle.

This summer, I’m relying on a solution that heals my skin while also saving on my electric bill: putting my face masks in the refrigerator. To be totally honest, it’s a better end-of-workday treat than a chilled beer.

Try out Lush’s Mask Of Magnaminty, which doesn’t expire, allowing the pepperminty goodness to soothe your face while cooling down your bod.

Now, you’re prepped for the heatwave. Go forth, and make everyone envy your skin.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/04/these-beauty-tricks-will-keep-your-oily-skin-shine-free/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/08/these-beauty-tricks-will-keep-your-oily.html

0 notes

samanthasroberts · 7 years

Text

These Beauty Tricks Will Keep Your Oily Skin Shine-Free

As much as I’d like to shout feminism here, just you try walking into a staff meeting at your office smelling like overripe human body. See the reactions it gets you.

With a few of my best beauty tips, however, you’ll be set to thrive in the summer’s heat. Never forget that by September, we’ll be bemoaning the lack of sunshine.

Prime everything, even the things you didn’t know you could prime.

Would you paint your nails without a base coat? Blow dry your hair without a heat protector? The basic beauty rules of the universe stand when it comes to your sweaty, hot face, too.

Primer will make your facial skin a canvas makeup can stick to, instead of just sliding off down your neck like a morbid cartoon.

If you’re not crazy about applying another product to your skin, pick NYX’s First Base Primer Spray to do the job for less than $10.

If you’re cringing over the idea of spending even more of your paycheck at Ulta, no worries. There are DIY primer solutions for the most dedicated beauty divas.

Get spritz-y (Not to be mistaken for frisky).

However.

It has recently come to my attention that I am wrong. Wrong with a capital W, even.

The travel size fits perfectly in my work bag, and the mixture of peppermint and rosemary makes me feel like a very wealthy dowager empress.

In summation: Tighten your pores and prevent extra shine with a face spray. You won’t regret it.

Choose a powder that’ll keep your skin safe from the sun.

Instead of lugging around your grandmother’s solution to greasy, sweating skin, bring your blotting situation into the 21st century.

Thank me when you have so much more room in your purse for 14 kinds of lipstick you never wear.

Don’t be afraid to chill out your skincare.

Try out Lush’s Mask Of Magnaminty, which doesn’t expire, allowing the pepperminty goodness to soothe your face while cooling down your bod.

Now, you’re prepped for the heatwave. Go forth, and make everyone envy your skin.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/04/these-beauty-tricks-will-keep-your-oily-skin-shine-free/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/08/04/these-beauty-tricks-will-keep-your-oily-skin-shine-free/

0 notes

adambstingus · 7 years

Text

These Beauty Tricks Will Keep Your Oily Skin Shine-Free

As much as I’d like to shout feminism here, just you try walking into a staff meeting at your office smelling like overripe human body. See the reactions it gets you.

With a few of my best beauty tips, however, you’ll be set to thrive in the summer’s heat. Never forget that by September, we’ll be bemoaning the lack of sunshine.

Prime everything, even the things you didn’t know you could prime.

Would you paint your nails without a base coat? Blow dry your hair without a heat protector? The basic beauty rules of the universe stand when it comes to your sweaty, hot face, too.

Primer will make your facial skin a canvas makeup can stick to, instead of just sliding off down your neck like a morbid cartoon.

If you’re not crazy about applying another product to your skin, pick NYX’s First Base Primer Spray to do the job for less than $10.

If you’re cringing over the idea of spending even more of your paycheck at Ulta, no worries. There are DIY primer solutions for the most dedicated beauty divas.

Get spritz-y (Not to be mistaken for frisky).

However.

It has recently come to my attention that I am wrong. Wrong with a capital W, even.

The travel size fits perfectly in my work bag, and the mixture of peppermint and rosemary makes me feel like a very wealthy dowager empress.

In summation: Tighten your pores and prevent extra shine with a face spray. You won’t regret it.

Choose a powder that’ll keep your skin safe from the sun.

Instead of lugging around your grandmother’s solution to greasy, sweating skin, bring your blotting situation into the 21st century.

Thank me when you have so much more room in your purse for 14 kinds of lipstick you never wear.

Don’t be afraid to chill out your skincare.

Try out Lush’s Mask Of Magnaminty, which doesn’t expire, allowing the pepperminty goodness to soothe your face while cooling down your bod.

Now, you’re prepped for the heatwave. Go forth, and make everyone envy your skin.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/04/these-beauty-tricks-will-keep-your-oily-skin-shine-free/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163806896052

0 notes

allofbeercom · 7 years

Text

These Beauty Tricks Will Keep Your Oily Skin Shine-Free

As much as I’d like to shout feminism here, just you try walking into a staff meeting at your office smelling like overripe human body. See the reactions it gets you.

With a few of my best beauty tips, however, you’ll be set to thrive in the summer’s heat. Never forget that by September, we’ll be bemoaning the lack of sunshine.

Prime everything, even the things you didn’t know you could prime.

Would you paint your nails without a base coat? Blow dry your hair without a heat protector? The basic beauty rules of the universe stand when it comes to your sweaty, hot face, too.

Primer will make your facial skin a canvas makeup can stick to, instead of just sliding off down your neck like a morbid cartoon.

If you’re not crazy about applying another product to your skin, pick NYX’s First Base Primer Spray to do the job for less than $10.

If you’re cringing over the idea of spending even more of your paycheck at Ulta, no worries. There are DIY primer solutions for the most dedicated beauty divas.

Get spritz-y (Not to be mistaken for frisky).

However.

It has recently come to my attention that I am wrong. Wrong with a capital W, even.

The travel size fits perfectly in my work bag, and the mixture of peppermint and rosemary makes me feel like a very wealthy dowager empress.

In summation: Tighten your pores and prevent extra shine with a face spray. You won’t regret it.

Choose a powder that’ll keep your skin safe from the sun.

Instead of lugging around your grandmother’s solution to greasy, sweating skin, bring your blotting situation into the 21st century.

Thank me when you have so much more room in your purse for 14 kinds of lipstick you never wear.

Don’t be afraid to chill out your skincare.

Try out Lush’s Mask Of Magnaminty, which doesn’t expire, allowing the pepperminty goodness to soothe your face while cooling down your bod.

Now, you’re prepped for the heatwave. Go forth, and make everyone envy your skin.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/04/these-beauty-tricks-will-keep-your-oily-skin-shine-free/

0 notes

isuckandotheressays · 7 years

Text

PART 1 ; self-saboteur

How can you even start to talk about something like this without sounding so fucking cliché it makes your teeth hurt. Stuff is hard, like really hard, and it will be forever, and I know that. I am like, obscenely good at whining, I can whine about pretty much anything, the weather, the fact I have nothing to wear, the fact that I don’t get what I want. I'm internally spoiled, but I think everyone is really, any one that isn't is lying, what type of crazy person likes when they don’t get what they want? Unless you are ,like a masochist, which in some ways I probably am, or at least a self-saboteur.

Anyway, unimportant. More importantly, my life is currently in shambles. The love of my life won't talk to me because he's upset that I tried to kill myself. Now I'm sure from an outwards perspective that makes him sound unfeeling, a dick, but to be honest I'm the dick.

Don’t get me wrong, I 100% wanted to die, I could not see my way out. I weighed out my options, I could hang myself from the loft bed he built for me, but I'm too tall and it wouldn’t have worked. I would slit my wrists, but then I would get heaps of blood on the 70's carpet and that would be just like, disrespectful to my housemates. So, my final thought was just to take as many of my sleeping meds as I could and just like, go to sleep. I wrote a note, in tears, obviously, I had fucking lost it.

I individually popped out the pills and took them one by one, slowly getting more and more tired, getting less and less conscious. I kept thinking about random things, like how mad everyone is going to me if I survive this, how fucked it's going to be for Luke, how I've probably ruined his life. So I thought in my drug addled state, I should probably just like message saying I'm sorry to all my friends or whatever. Because I'm a dirt human.

Suicide, is a really selfish thing, the most selfish thing you can do, but at that point in time, I couldn’t see my way out. I felt worthless, that the person I cared for the most in the world was never going to trust me again, that my best friends didn’t want to hang out with me because I'm so fun because I'm a useless sad lump that wines, can't even drink red wine because I become some heaps horrible bitchy cynical version of myself. That I would always disappoint my parents, because to this day, I don’t actually want to do what they want me to do and I really just want to be a starving artist and make art about how sad I am all the time.

Anyway, I squeezed out some drama queen ass text to the people that meant the most to me, 'I'm sorry I love you' , which I meant but in hindsight as someone that wanted to die peacefully and alone in their house, is not a good move because people care about if you are dead or alive and well, got scared if they get that message out of the blue. So next minute, my dad, arrives in a cab, and I go to Emergency, and no one really takes what goes on particularly seriously and then in a bed and some doctor is making me drink some sludgy black coal shit to soak up all the medication in my stomach (side note it's been three days at this point and all that is coming out of me is like spirited away anime style sludge.

So, I wake up and I'm going to the ward, this is like 8 at night, I did all this pill business at about Noon, and I'm sitting in the waiting room with my mum and dad who are literally at their whit's end with their nerves shot because their only child has an inability to cope with real life.

Side note, I am a productive member of society, I have job, that I mostly like and work hard at, I do a little bit of 'faffy' modeling for cash when I can, I get up I get coffee, I catch the train to school etc. Granted my mum pays my phone bill because I'm a 22 year old child that can't do real life human things. But yeah, back to the ward.

PART 2 ; repercussions

I'm sitting there waiting at the mental health ward and they literally come and give me some belongings I left there the time before. Like I'm some frequent flyer, I sort of laugh under my breath but try to stifle it because I love my parents more than anything and I don't want to make this situation any more confusing and awful than what it is. I go to the tiny mini fridge and fish out a cheese sandwich because the stuff I took to OD makes you so fucking hungry.

So I'm admitted, given the awkward PJ's, some hectic sedatives and put in the room with the vinyl mattress like the ones in jail I'm sure, except in the ward they give you milo and night and speak in hushed tones and take your blood pressure a lot and offer you adult colouring books.

Then I'm in the room and I'm thinking things. The things I'm thinking are about the fact that I did not succeed in ending my life and now there are repercussions. I have to not only feel shit, I have to feel guilty because what I have done to the people who love me is so monumentally horrible and I'm a bad selfish person who is never going to be loved, etc. Then I think about if I had done it another way, if it had worked, then I fall asleep.

I'm woken up by a student nurse that looks about 15 rolling in a huge blood pressure machine. The soft voice ensues like fucking silk "so, uh, cay, do you feel safe? Do you feel like hurting yourself? Killing yourself? Feeling a bit better than yesterday?" And me, being a fucking idiot, says, "oh yeah I'm fine now, just tired you know". Because, from lots of practice, I'm a master at pretending I'm okay (I'm being sarcastic hopefully you get that and I don’t just sound like a prized IDIOT).

Hours down the track in walk out in my gross green PJ's and look at who else in in the ward. Literally exactly what you would expect, some full grown woman with pink hair doing a puzzle of teddy bears, some 'methy' looking guy talking to himself in the room (until this point I thought this was a ward for woman only) that has a video of a waterfall on loop and an extremely greasy middle ages Asian woman being scolded for trying to sleep when she has to be awake because its day time. Nobody talks to each other, we are all sort of collectively embarrassed, no one really knows how to act, do we like smile at each other? Or do we have to prove our sadness to each other? I just keep my head down mainly until I get handed the sludgy meal that we have to eat with a spoon because u could mince yourself with a fork or knife. I recon if you really wanted you could use a spoon, I recon if you really wanted you could use anything like, it's pretty fucked up but I think about that all the time. I know pretty much all the things in a room that I could use to hurt myself.

Like spoon? Easy, I would just either with all the force in my body, sorry for the gore, slam the not spoony part into my wrist and like , blood would Tarintino style go everywhere. I could also just like shove it down my throat and choke. I recon I could like, paper cut myself to death, that’s so morbid, oh my god, sorry.

PART 3; insidious thing

Fast track to now, I'm at my parent's house, with a shaved head, in the country, the love of my life won't talk to me. I'm almost certain that he's going to leave me, he's already moved out and he's basically sick of my shit. And to be honest, even though it fucking hurts, its fair enough.

Backtrack again, I worked at the pub, and everyone there just like, happened to do cocaine, so I tried cocaine, and of course, it was great but very expensive. If went from something fun to something I needed to get through a shift because I was so tired. Then I would spend all my money on it. Then the guy would show up at the bar and I would just swipe my card and take money out of the till. Like at the start it was spending my money, and then I started stealing the money.

Now, I have a huge problem which honestly, I like being on drugs, plus being bipolar, oh yeah, but now that’s up for negotiation and could be a personality disorder or whatever. I didn’t tell anyone I was doing this, not even my partner or my friend who could have helped me. Especially, my partner. But again, dirt human remember.

So, I was holding that secret in for ages, like was literally killing me. It was the most insidious thing ever. But I've always stuffed in and marred the truth to protect myself. When I was younger, like childhood till I was 16, I had a really hard time at making friends so I literally would just make shit up. But when I was first diagnosed and had my first break up, I worked out that, that probably wasn’t optimum to being like an alright human. So I stopped saying I was related to famous models and that I got kicked out of karate because I punched the teacher and started telling the true story about the stress nose bleeds, of the white robes and I was related to a bunch of people that lived in Yass, as in many merinos (no offence to my family - you are all phenomenal).

PART 4; him

Forward, I hadn't told my parents this immense thing, and I was lying about what actually happened. So I told them. And, they really didn’t care. Not only what this an insane and complete surprise to me, it made me feel even worse that I have been an absolutely horrendous person to my partner.

So now, I am petrified. I'm writing this with my newly shaved golf ball head, he's not talking to me and I'm this total wreck of self-hatred and total disarray. Because I want to be with him, I don’t want to hurt him. But I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t know how to make someone trust you again, and I sure as hell don’t think I deserve to have such a fucking angel in my life.

Like you know those classically handsome boys from teen movies, yeah think about that, but like Bowie dreamy. Big ass blue eyes, freckles, tall, absolutely killer smile. He supports my art, he's good with kids and animals, he's stupid crazy intelligent, goofy and gets my humor, that I barely get sometimes. Like I have no idea how human trash like me could have made this person fall in love with me. One time, he fucking flew overseas to see me on our anniversary because he missed me. He has written obscure punk songs about me. He also supports me immensely, which I owe my life to, on many occasions.

To be honest, I will understand if he's over it, he could do so much better, he could like, date a girl who is not legally insane, that would not self-harm and lie and do batshit stuff like some crazy murderer. But, I do want to get better for him. And I am trying, I've enrolled in this crazy program that the psych lady said would improve my honesty as well as make me be able to deal with real life grown up situations like an adult and not some mentally inept baby thing. I am trying. Shaving my hair was a thing for me. I needed a physical change to put stuff in motion. I'm in motion now. And I hope that he sees that, but I understand, I truly I am the worst.

Skip forward to two weeks later, we ended it, I broke it I really did. But that okay, because you have to have a red hot go at being by yourself. I am weirdly happy, elated even, I feel like ive got myself back. Its crazy that you don’t even notice how much you have lost yourself until your alone, the cracks in what seemed like a perfect relationship start to show. Not to throw shade, but I think that I embarrassed him sometimes and tried to hard to act cool. And to be honest, I recon I am pretty fucking cool. I bent myself to fit around him, even my aspirations, even my work even my internet presence. He never let me 'vlog' he thought it was lame, seems like such a teeny thing but I full want to vlog. I want to talk into the abyss that in Instagram, hear an echo or not.

I guess its all a learning curb really, you got to lose what you think you want to get what you need. I could 'smiths' along and ask to 'please please, please, let me let me let me, get what I want this time' but right now, I'm still working out what that is. It's pretty flippin' great.

0 notes

viralhottopics · 7 years

Text

We gave Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa an upgrade, and we’re gonna be sick

Image: martha tesema/Mashable

When it comes to greasy, messy, comfort food, Taco Bell is a champion.

For years, Cheesy Gordita Cruches, Doritos Locos Tacos and Crunch Wrap Supremes have filled a tiny corner of our stomachs that only grease and absurd culinary collaborations could fill.

The Naked Chicken Chalupa should be the continuation of that legacy. But hot take it isn’t all that great.

Consuming this thing should have been an adventure. But it’s kind of like if Bilbo Baggins got to the end of the Shire, said, “That’s quite enough for me,” and turned back toward home. But I wanted to go all the way to The Lonely Mountain and back.

SEE ALSO: Taco Bell’s newest creation may be the grossest fast food invention yet

I wanted to be wowed. I wanted it to taste so good I’d want five more, but know in my heart that I could not possibly handle that. Honestly, I wanted to walk away hating myself for eating it.

I had no such feelings of guilt, or accomplishment. No, this is not the Taco Bell version of KFC’s Double Down. It’s disappointingly pedestrian.

The shell doesn’t really taste at all like authentic fried chicken it’s more like a chicken patty you’d get in a school cafeteria. The spicy breading is interesting, but the intensity of the heat overwhelms any other flavor, most notably the avocado ranch.

Hence, a fateful decision was made I set out to make the Naked Chicken Chalupa even more insane than it already sounded.

Image: MARTHA TESEMA/MASHABLE

1. Naked Chicken Chalupa + Taco Meat

I was actually under the impression that traditional taco beef was one of the ingredients in the Naked Chicken Chalupa, but I was mistaken.

So for my first creation, I threw in the beef, and also included some sour cream since the NCC does not have a “supreme” option yet another drawback.

These additions were definitely an improvement on the original, but it didn’t quite trigger the self-loathing I was looking for. I could probably eat a couple of these and feel very little guilt and zero regret.

That’s a positive thing in most cases, but this version still isn’t as off-the-wall as it should be.

And besides, it’s still missing something.

Image: MARTHA TESEMA/MASHABLE

2. Naked Chicken Chalupa + Chips and Queso

Crunch.

That’s one of the main things the NCC is lacking.

This variation definitely helps in that department. Its texture is much more enjoyable than the original, and the chips help to cut a little bit of the heat from the breading. Then again, there’s also a bit of spice in Taco Bell’s queso, so people who are into that wouldn’t be disappointed.

This option is probably the best tasting of all the ones I tried, but it still isn’t crazy. To expand on the Hobbit metaphor, this is like Frodo Baggins leaving the Ring in Rivendell instead of going all the way to Mordor it’s fine, but it’s not quite as wild as it could be.

By the same token, if Taco Bell included this option on its menu, I might have to squeeze it into my usual order. It was pretty damn delicious.

Image: MARTHA TESEMA/MASHABLE

3. Naked Chicken Chalupa + Hard Taco Supreme

This is kind of a combination of the previous two. I emptied out the NCC and wrapped the shell, still dripping with avocado ranch, around a hard taco supreme, of course.

Think of it as a bastardization of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

This time, I was on the right track. As I learned with my first option, the combo of beef and chicken is tastier than you’d think, and the crunchiness of the taco shell is a plus. Eating it was a great experience, but I didn’t really have any desire to finish it.

The flavor combinations were pleasing, but not quite intense enough. I still kind of wanted to be overwhelmed.

I wasn’t there yet, but I had a feeling the next one was going to do the trick.

Image: MARTHA TESEMA/MASHABLE

4. Naked Chicken Chalupa + Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco Supreme

Folks, we have a winner.

I did the exact same thing as with the previous concoction, but the hard taco was a Doritos Locos Taco instead. I chose Cool Ranch because I thought it might help to cut some of the heat from the chicken shell.

My notion was exactly correct, but the Cool Ranch also helped to bring out a bit more of the avocado ranch sauce. I was never able to taste it before this combo, and it was really wonderful.

An added benefit of using Doritos Locos Tacos is that you have a few options. If you’re a sucker for all things spicy, the Firey option could work well for you. The Nacho would probably be downright gross, but that is also kind of the point here.

One of these things is definitely enough for anyone, and finishing it would have been an impressive feat. It’s wild, but also tasty and just mildly gross enough to make you want to talk about it a lot. So mission accomplished!

Here’s an actual depiction of me getting ready to eat one:

But I still had one more option to try, and it was pretty weird.

Image: MARTHA TESEMA/MASHABLE

5. Naked Chicken Chalupa + Fries

Since the pure iteration of the Naked Chicken Chalupa is really just a glorified chicken sandwich without bread, I figured I should treat it as such.

So I popped over to McDonald’s, got some fries and threw them in the NCC.

And I gotta say, it was not as good as I wanted it to be. The taste of the fries was lost in the lettuce, tomatoes and cheese and the textures didn’t really mix.

A sad lesson to learn, but it was worth a shot.

So at the end of the day, the Naked Chicken Chalupa with a Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco was the best option if you’re looking for a wild combo that also tastes great. The only drawback is that the NCC shell isn’t big enough to completely cover a traditional hard taco, so the shell is more “naked” than the chicken chalupa is.

But if you’re looking for an easy way to shake up your NCC for the better, adding chips and queso will absolutely do the trick.

Either way, it seems like Taco Bell missed an opportunity here. And if they need a taste-tester or someone to invent crazy menu items that are better than this one, I volunteer as tribute.

BONUS: Someone decided to make Lego-inspired square burgers