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bl-danmei-yaoi · 5 years

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AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050420

If Meng Shi gained powers from the worship she received in the Guanyin temple and used it to help Meng Yao reincarnate.

As Jin Guangyao is dragged into the coffin by Nie Mingjue’s corpse, he thinks, that’s it. Everything ends here. His ambitions, his desires, his foolishness, his ruthlessness, his pain, his sufferings. Everything ends here. Jin Guangyao feels mostly relief. Because he’s grown tired of the life he’s made for himself. But at the same time, he felt regretful. Because he can never make up to the people he’d let down. The only people in his life who ever truly loved and cared for him, he had let them down.

Darkness embraces Jin Guangyao. He does not know for how long. But then, he suddenly hears a familiar voice that would bring tears to his eyes if he was still alive.

“A-Yao”, the voice calls, gently, sweetly.

“Mother…” Jin Guangyao, no, Meng Yao, replies. “Mother… I’m sorry… I’ve let you down.”

“No, A-Yao, it was Mother who was wrong. Mother was foolish. I thought that by following your father, you will be happier. With Mother, you have always been looked down own. It hurt my heart but there was little I could do to protect you. I thought that your father would have treated you even a little bit well, considering blood relations, but I was wrong. Instead of helping you gain happiness, I was the one who pushed you into hell.” Meng Shi’s voice echoes solemnly.

“No, Mother. It is all my fault.”

“A-Yao… You are a good boy. This temple you have built for me is the very evidence. Because of that, the worship I have gotten has given me some powers. I could not help you before, but now, Mother can repent for her mistakes.” With that, Meng Yao feels his soul being pulled by an invisible force.

“A-Yao, Mother has given you life again. Mother wants to tell you to live happily and carefree. But this time, all I want is for you to follow your heart. Don’t force yourself to be someone you are not. Mother gives you all her blessings…”

Then, Meng Yao takes the first breath he has taken since Jin Guangyao died.

“Wahhhhhh!” The sound of a baby cries out.

“He’s born! He’s born! Quick! Give the child to me!” A man happily asks the midwife for the child. Then, gently carrying the child, he walks over to show his wife. “Look! Our little son! He looks just like you!”

The wife looks helplessly at her husband. The newborn baby is all red and wrinkled. How can he possibly tell who the child looks like?

“What shall we name our son?” The husband asks his wife excitedly.

Without a thought, the wife suddenly says, “Yao. His name is Meng Yao. Our precious jade.”

The husband smiles, nodding happily. “Welcome to the family, A-Yao.”

Hearing this, the baby cries even harder, heart-wrenchingly so.

“Aiyah! What’s wrong, darling? Don’t cry!” The husband panics, looking at the midwife for help.

Just then, the door opens, and in comes a little boy, of about nine. “Is that my little brother? Why is he crying so badly?”

“Don’t worry. It’s normal for newborn babies to cry. He seems to have a healthy set of lungs.” The midwife laughs.

“Let me hold my baby brother!” The young boy says, stretching out his hands.

“Be careful,” The husband reminds his elder son. Carefully, he passes his youngest son to the boy. “Your hands must be like this. Remember to support his head. Here.”

“Hello, baby brother. Big brother will protect you, so don’t cry.”

That night, Meng Yao is reborn. To a normal but loving family. His new father, Meng Guo, is Meng Shi’s distant cousin’s son. Hence, Meng Yao’s new body has much resemblance to his old one. His new mother is called Mei Yu, while his new older brother is called Meng Hu. And although they are just normal people who cannot cultivate, Meng Yao is happy.

In the next sixteen years that passed, Meng Yao grew to accept his past. At first, he wanted to avoid it altogether. His new family is so warm, everything he has ever wanted in a family. But Meng Yao could not be so heartless as to forget his mother, Meng Shi, who helped to give him this. Meng Yao knows that Meng Shi must have suffered severe consequences for helping him to reincarnate without going through the proper channels. Meng Yao had felt guilty at first, hence encouraging him to forget his past and to just drown in the happiness of his new life. Slowly, as his new family healed the wounds in his soul, Meng Yao is able to look back on his past calmly. And then, more often than not, Meng Yao is often reminded of Lan Xichen.

Meng Yao had resented Lan Xichen for stabbing him. But Meng Yao also understands that he could not blame Lan Xichen for that. Although he claimed to never have intended to hurt Lan Xichen, Meng Yao knows that he has. He’d broken Lan Xichen’s trust and did terrible things. And so, he learns to forgive Lan Xichen for stabbing him. After all, there is nothing to forgive.

Meng Yao knows that Meng Shi wanted him to forget his past, so that he could live happy and carefree in this new life. But how can Meng Yao forget? Meng Shi and Lan Xichen are both very important people in his past life, and he had learned many lessons as well. Hence, Meng Yao does not forget, but he does not let them become his demons either. Instead, he used them as a reminder to better appreciate what he has now.

It is just an ordinary day, when Meng Yao hears his brother, Meng Hu, shouting frantically. “A-Yao! Help get a doctor! Quick!”

The words scare Meng Yao into action, running quickly outside the house to see Meng Hu supporting a man with blood-soaked white robes. Meng Yao sees the familiar embroidery on the white robes. They belonged to the Lan Sect. Upon hearing Meng Hu call out “A-Yao”, the injured man had looked up, eyes meeting Meng Yao’s.

“Er-Ge,” Meng Yao whispers under his breath, rooted to the spot when he recognises the injured man.

“A-Yao? Why are you just standing there? Quickly get a doctor!” Meng Hu calls out, breaking Meng Yao out from his trance.

Worry quickly engulfs Meng Yao’s heart as he ran off to find a doctor. Why is Er-Ge here? Why is Er-Ge injured? Is he okay? Will he be okay? When Meng Yao finds the doctor, he takes the tools from the doctor’s hands, running back off himself.

“Hey! Wait for me!” The doctor calls out.

“I will go back first to do first aid!” Meng Yao shouts back, not pausing in his steps.

When Meng Yao returns, Lan Xichen is lying on the floor, unconscious. Without a word, Meng Yao tries to carry Lan Xichen to his bed.

“Aiyah! A-Yao! Don’t move him anymore.” Meng Hu says.

“I’ll bring him to my bed. I can’t just let him lie on the floor!” Meng Yao says, struggling but failing to move Lan Xichen.

“It will be difficult to wash the blood out,” Meng Hu says.

“I know how to, so it's not a problem. Brother. Help me move him.” Meng Yao replies. Seeing Meng Hu’s hesitance, Meng Yao runs over to softly tug at his brother’s sleeves. He knew that his brother was weak to that. “Please, Brother?”

Sighing, Meng Hu pats the top of Meng Yao’s head. As he goes over to carry Lan Xichen again, he does not forget to say, “Then A-Yao must do something for me.”

“What does Brother want?” Meng Yao asks, bringing the doctor’s tools with him to his room.

“Hmm… A-Yao must make me dessert every day until Mother and Father return from their trip.” Meng Hu says. In their family, Meng Yao had the best cooking, and everyone loved Meng Yao’s desserts. However, their mother, Mei Yu, did not let Meng Yao make desserts often because she believed it was unhealthy. Hence, Meng Yao’s desserts were reserved only for special occasions.

“Okay,” Meng Yao replies easily. “But you must make sure Mother does not find out.”

When the doctor arrives, Meng Yao has already stopped the blood.

“Not bad,” The doctor praises Meng Yao’s first aid. “Interested to be my apprentice?”

Meng Yao smiles. He had a lot of experience wrapping up his own wounds in his past life. Meng Yao had not found what he wanted to do in this life yet, thinking that maybe he could open up a dessert shop or something. But hearing the doctor’s words, Meng Yao thinks that maybe he should be a doctor. In his past life, he had taken many lives. To make up for that, he could help save lives instead. “I will be honoured.”

The next few days, as Lan Xichen remains unconscious, Meng Yao begins learning from the doctor. Meng Yao is wiping down Lan Xichen with a wet towel when he hears a familiar voice.

“A-Yao…”

Looking up, Meng Yao sees that Lan Xichen is awake. Meng Yao greets Lan Xichen calmly, as if they are strangers.

“A-Yao… It’s you, right? You’re my A-Yao…” Lan Xichen says, voice deep with sorrow. “I’m sorry, A-Yao. Please forgive your Er-Ge.”

Meng Yao feels tears prick at the back of his eyes but he resists the urge to cry into Lan Xichen’s chest. Looking back down, Meng Yao says. “There is nothing to be sorry for.”

“There is. It’s my fault for not noticing. For not being there and helping you when you needed help.”

“It’s not Er-Ge’s responsibility.”

“It is. Not only am I your Er-Ge, but as someone who loves you, I should not have been so blind to your needs. Wangji could tell when Wei gongzi needed help. Yet, I could not.”

The words cause Meng Yao’s heart to skip a beat. Calming himself down, Meng Yao says, “How can our relationship be compared to theirs?”

“Because I also love you, A-Yao. I realised I loved you when it was already too late.”

Meng Yao looks up again, eyes wide in surprise. “You love me? Like Wangji loves Wei Wuxian?”

“Yes… A-Yao… Can you give me a chance? Please? All these years, I’ve missed you.” Lan Xichen says. Then, without giving Meng Yao a chance to reply, he embraces the other.

“Er-Ge…”

“Call me by my name… Please…”

“A-Huan… I… But I… I’m just a normal person. I cannot cultivate. And I have a new family now. I must be filial to my new parents. They treat me so well… And my brother. I don’t want to leave this place.”

“It’s okay. I will stay here with you.” Lan Xichen promises.

“But what about the Lan Sect? And you’re not even going to ask how I’m alive when my soul is supposed to be trapped in the coffin?”

“A-Yao… How you’re still alive is not important to me. The fact that you’re alive is more than enough for me. As for the Lan Sect… I am no longer the sect leader. The Sect Elders have decided that I’m too unstable. After you died, I stayed in seclusion for the first ten years. Then, I tried to return to my duties as Sect Leader, but I didn’t think I was suitable. I’m too naïve and foolish. And I couldn’t find any meaning in cultivating… I started going on Night Hunts alone, going for all sorts of dangerous creatures. If I could eliminate them, great. But if I couldn’t and they killed me instead, that’s fine too.”

“Er-Ge! How could you…”

“My name,” Lan Xichen reminds Meng Yao.

“A-Huan… You…”

“Every day, I thought of you. I thought of all the things I’ve done wrong. I couldn’t even protect the person I loved. How can I lead and protect a whole sect? A-Yao… I only have you left. Maybe I’m being shameless and selfish, trying to use this to guilt you into accepting me. But A-Yao… All my life, I’ve lived doing what is expected of me. Doing what’s considered right. But never have I been selfish and did what I wanted. After you died, I questioned the skies, why did I lose the person I love even though I’ve only done what is right? Where is the justice in that? And then, I realised that being selfless and benevolent will not give me you. So let me be selfish, and have you instead… Please… A-Yao.”

Hearing Lan Xichen’s words, Meng Yao feels his heart clenching painfully. If Lan Xichen loves him and wants to be with him, and Meng Yao returns the feelings, then why should he reject? Follow your heart, Meng Shi had said. And so, Meng Yao does.

Meng Hu realises that there is something strange with the way his little brother treats their guest. Meng Hu had been walking through the forest that day when he had found the injured man. Having been taught to be a good Samaritan by his parents, Meng Hu had brought the injured man home. Although he has never brought an injured stranger home before, Meng Hu is sure that the way Meng Yao reacts is strange. Who would let an injured stranger, still dripping blood, onto their beds? And every day, Meng Yao would religiously clean the stranger’s body with a wet cloth. When Meng Hu had asked, Meng Yao had replied that the stranger would not like to be dirty. Meng Hu had been confused. The stranger was unconscious, so how could he be upset at being unclean?

It got even worse when the stranger woke up. His cute little brother began spending even more time with the stranger. Meng Hu learns that the stranger is called Lan Huan. And instead of calling the man “Lan Huan”, his little brother called the man “A-Huan”, as if they were very close. Before the man woke, Meng Yao had slept on his bed while Meng Hu himself slept on the floor. But after the man awoke, Meng Yao began sleeping back in his bed with the man. And then, whenever Meng Yao makes the dessert he owed Meng Hu, Meng Yao had also made the man a share. In fact, Meng Yao often made the man all sorts of food and desserts, and Meng Hu himself only got a small portion if he was lucky.

Meng Hu crosses his arms as he stares across at the table. Meng Yao and that strange man were helping each other add food into each other’s bowls. Meng Hu only got this treatment rarely. Narrowing his eyes, a thought suddenly comes to Meng Hu’s head. That strange man was trying to steal his brother! Immediately, Meng Hu slams his chopsticks onto the table, startling the other two people who look at him questioningly.

“Brother? What’s wrong?” Meng Yao asks.

“A-Yao. Can you wait outside for a moment? I have something I want to say to Lan gongzi.” Meng Hu says. Although confused, Meng Yao listens. There was no way Meng Hu could hurt Lan Xichen and vice versa anyway.

When Meng Yao leaves, Meng Hu immediately says, “Stay away from my little brother.”

For a moment, Lan Xichen thinks that Meng Hu knows about their relationship.

But then, Meng Hu continues, “A-Yao is my brother. Not yours. Don’t even think about stealing him. You want a little brother? Go somewhere else to steal one.”

Lan Xichen smiles, trying not to laugh. “Don’t worry. I don’t see A-Yao as a little brother.”

Of course not, Lan Xichen thinks. Meng Yao is his love.

“Good,” Meng Hu sighs in relief. Then, voice deepening, he adds, “You better not be lying.”

Unlike Meng Hu who saw Lan Xichen as a rival for his little brother’s affection, Meng Guo and Mei Yu happily accept Lan Xichen into the family. When the two finally returned from their little “honeymoon” trip, Lan Xichen was already mostly healed. Meng Yao never really had any friends, so the two were very happy to see the way Meng Yao interacted with Lan Xichen, thinking that their son has finally found a friend. And when they find out that Lan Xichen had nowhere else to go, they easily welcomed him to stay.

A year after Lan Xichen and Meng Yao’s reunion, they finally come out to the Meng parents, thinking that enough time has passed for them to not feel that their relationship is too sudden. Furthermore, over the year, they never really hid their relationship.

Meng Guo and Mei Yu had been surprised initially, but they saw the way the two interacted and believed that Lan Xichen will treat their son well. On the other hand, Meng Hu hates himself for having brought the injured Lan Xichen back in the first place. He had unknowingly brought a wolf into his home, and now the wolf has stolen is precious little brother. However, Meng Hu also acknowledges that Lan Xichen and Meng Yao are a perfect match. And so, threatening Lan Xichen to treat Meng Yao well or else, he begrudgingly gives them his blessings as well.

And so, there came the stories of a travelling doctor and his knight. The doctor would help anybody, and for free, and his knight would stay beside him to protect him. When the two had died of old age, the villagers who had received their help wanted to do their funeral. However, another legendary couple had appeared and taken the dead bodies away.

Burying the two together, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian had told the departed souls, “Farewell, brother, brother-in-law.”

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