Your post about the brother gc made my mind wonder about having all the Eddie’s in a gc that you could text and ask about boy problems 😂

Hiii lovey!! Idk why instead of a group chat my mind went “what if there was a 1-800 number for you to call for advice from the Eddies??”🙈 it would be like this:

“Thank you for calling the Life Advice Network this is Steve speaking how may I help you?” “Uhm…I just need to know if the guy I’m interested in is…also interested in me…” ���Ah got it let me transfer you to Husband Eddie he is our go too guy when it comes to deciphering men’s intentions..one moment.” “Hi this is Husband Eddie Munson how can I be of service to you today?” “Hey Eddie uhm…the guy I’m interested in is kinda being weird lately and I’m not sure if-” “Describe weird.” “Oh uh he ended our text conversation by just saying later…when normally he says like bye gorgeous or something along those lines.” “Later? He said later as a form of goodbye?” “Yes…why did you just sigh? Is that…is that not a good sign?” “I’m gonna be honest with you sweetheart I think he’s no longer interested….have you hung out with him recently?” “Not this week he’s been really busy…” “right…yeah…I would just move on before you really get your feelings hurt.” “Okay…thanks Eddie.” “Anytime…oh you’re gonna be asked how this call was and if you don’t mind leaving me a good review that would be great but if not it’s fine…enjoy the rest of your day and don’t let this get you down there’s plenty of other dudes out there.” “Thank you I appreciate that.”

“You’ve reached the one and only Bestfriend Eddie how can I help you?” “Hey is it weird if your guy friend all of a sudden starts holding your hand and opening doors for you?” “Holding your hand? Dudes only hold hands with someone they like….unless you need help and our hand will make it to where you won’t like die or something but yeah that’s fucking weird.” “You think he likes me?” “I wouldn’t want you to assume he has feelings for you just because he’s holding your hand and opening doors but if he starts offering you rides everywhere and buying you shit then yeah he probably has feelings.” “He’s bought me lunch three times this week…” “oh yeah then he’s for sure got some feelings brewing and I’d say just ask him straight up if he’s into you or not.” “Really? That won’t freak him out?” “Only one way to find out…” “if he laughs at me I’m calling back and telling you how horrible you are at giving advice.” “Trust me you’ll only be calling back to tell me I was right.” “Whatever…that’s for the advice.” “Anytime.”

“Hello this is Vampire Eddie-” “did you just say Vampire?” “Yes…you got transferred to me because you’re having issues accepting the kind of respect and love you deserve is that right?” “I just don’t think I need to be treated this-” “You deserve to be treated as if you hung the moon and all the stars because to your significant other that’s exactly what you did for them.” “Oh…really?” “Yes…I know it’s hard to feel as though you deserve to be treated like a queen because for the most part you’ve let yourself get used to the subpar treatment from men because that’s all you thought you could get therefore making you think that’s also what you deserve but it’s not.” “Oh wow…okay so it’s not weird that he always wants to be around and is just…super nice and attentive?” “Weird? No it’s not weird…it’s how every man who wants to pursue you should be acting.” “He brought me flowers the other day because they reminded him of me with how pretty they are…” “and how did that make you feel?” “Like he’s too good for me…but I also really liked it.” “He’s not too good for you get that notion out of your head he’s just a gentlemen and you’re used to pardon my langue but you’re used to fuck boys.” “I guess that’s true…so I should keep him around then?” “If he makes you happy then yes.” “Okay…thank you Vampire Eddie this has been really interesting.” “You’re welcome…I’m here if you need me but I think you’ve got it figured out now.” “Have a good day.” “You as well.”