Carbuncle Passage, Tottenham, London; 1.4.2023

01/04/2023 - ❓

2023.04.01 ourealgoat : [230330] 외출 2/4 김포 통진읍 ✌🏻 🌿

bu post kendime bir şarkı anısı olarak atılıyor ve atılmaya devam edilecek

hem biriyle paylaşmak isteyip hem de paylaşmaya kıyamayınca dönüp dolaşıp geldiğim yer olarak kalsın istedim :’)

01-04-2022

12:11 PM

POV I am so lonely. The few people I have a genuine connection with, platonic and romantic, live hours and hours away. I am becoming exhausted with work and with being alive. I just need more time to rest. I need a new job and I need to make more friends but getting to know others in person is so exhausting. I wish I was a ghost.

when the fog lifts and i can see the silhouette revealing, it’s not slow. it’s becoming and arriving at the same time. exploring and recognizing. it’s lungs catching oxygen and bringing a soul alive alongside a body. it’s a heart finally starting to beat again and recognizing itself through its beats. it’s looking into familiar eyes, so much brighter and still the same like all those years ago.

after the pain of the past and the love that blinded me lifts, she is still standing as bright and precious as she always was. being more than back then, when i had left her standing in the middle of nowhere. „see“ she says „i knew you would come back for me, to me. i have waited a long time for you to come see me.“ and she takes my hand like it does not matter. like it does not matter i left her, hid her, tried to break her. she wears my eyes and its enough. suddenly the world comes to a halt and for the first time in a long time everything catches its breath while falling into place. she is smiling and i think i will never get tired of it. i know i won’t. the way her green eyes sparkle. the curve of her mouth. her red hair falling over her bare shoulders like a burning sunset. if you stay with me forever i know i will never need someone else. and i look at her and say „please don’t leave me again“. but her smile says it all. that it was never her. and never her decision. it was always me. and i know. and i know. and i always knew, no matter where i ran to forget the truth. to forget her. like there would be a place without her. a place without me. i know she will love me forever if only i manage to keep the peace. and i know she will always be enough if only i let her.

i did not lose myself in you. how can it be that after leaving you, i can finally recognize myself in the mirror again? that i finally do not need a mirror anymore, to see myself clearly? how can i be hurt by your words and actions and thankful for gaining myself back through it at the same time?

via z_zocial @ instagram | 01042023

exercise 01042023

bike ride to the gym

8 x 10 incline sit ups

3 x 10 lat raise machine

30 minutes on the step mill

3 x 10 seated press

6 x 10 pec machine

bike ride home

the gym workers received Hershey kisses

top left = smashed pumpkin remnants

bottom = note on the bench located by the door at Kroger where the pick up workers go in and out of the store

gorgeous weather today / mid 70s and light breeze and clear sky

i planned to rake part of the back yard today but instead, i brought my bicycle to be repaired. i have a bad bearing that needs to be replaced. my bike should be fixed tomorrow. will ride my alternate bike until my main bike is back.

i also worked on an energy efficiency project. my house is 50+ years old and the builders back then didn't seal things up very well so i had a project to seal up some gaps where outside air is getting into the house. will probably rake tomorrow.

hope you have a peaceful afternoon and evening..

Hold your breath, love dive... 💜❤️💜

MongDol @ Manila Fanmeeting 01042023

All Hallows' Church, Tottenham, London; 1.4.2023

preparing for my finals D-1 | 01042023 🌌🚀

01042023 | puppy wants to play with the kitty

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Cô đơn thương nhớ lệ hàng hàng.

01042013 - 01042023

02042023-|L.|

01-04-2023

4:13 PM

I'm kind of sort of talking 2 this girl and I am so confused of her intentions... she wanted me to come over, then she said she's talking 2 smbdy, then she sends me selfies. girl I'm too autistic 4 this. I already have so much trouble differentiating platonic and romantic feelings this sucks