#-for someone to be born somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of possible external genitalia instead of at either end
Text
I think people in general would be less weird about gender and trans people if it were just made more clear how incredibly artificial the idea of a human sexual dichotomy really is
External genitalia is the same basic structures configured in slightly different ways, and it's less of a binary set of options than a spectrum between two poles as intersex people fully prove
Secondary sex characteristics are entirely dependent on hormones, which means they a.) already have a wide variety of natal presentations across genders (ex cis women capable of growing facial hair, cis men with breast tissue etc are all completely normal (if slightly uncommon) outcomes) and b.) Are extremely easy to change with HRT
Hormones can affect PHYSICAL reactions to emotions (higher testosterone making anger an easier physical reaction to stress than tears, and higher estrogen vice versa) but it doesn't actually affect the ways you think about or react to things, just what your body does with that emotion.
Social and behavioral differences are EXTREMELY affected by nurture more so than nature and there are no inherent neurological differences between men and women's brains.
Our bodies are so similar to one another that transition- while socially and financially potentially difficult- is MEDICALLY incredibly fucking easy. The fact that we can just alter our secondary sex characteristics with medications and our external genitalia with fairly simple surgeries should be a clue how incredibly close all human bodies are? We Have the possibility to change so easily because there are not inherent, hardwired unmovable differences. The only real difference at this point is the capability to carry and birth children, and with the way science is going that doesn't seem like an impossible breakthrough at this point.
Idk, I'm so tired of seeing discourse from other trans people that upholds that there are fundamental differences between men and women. Until we all start agreeing that these categories are artificially enforced and that they aren't really biologically inherent whatsoever we're never going to get anywhere
#there is just like.....#no actual basis for a gender binary biologically#do you know how insane it is that we can just take medication that tells our bodies 'grow breasts' or 'grow facial hair' and our bodies jusy#go 'on it boss' and do that?#transition isn't Unnatural transition is remarkably natural because otherwise it wouldn't be Medically Possible#intersex people are born every day because human bodies all use the same basic building blocks in utero and it's incredibly easy and normal-#-for someone to be born somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of possible external genitalia instead of at either end#when i say gender is made up i mean 'all human bodies are more similar to one another than they are different'#anyways im not tagging this with any categorical tags bc i don't trust like that#im just writing down shower thoughts and being insane for a bit
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Meta: On Seto Kaiba and Stress-Induced Hallucinations
As a psychology buff and victim of hallucinations, I wanted to put in my two-cents on one of my favorite Kaiba metas—that he clings so fiercely to the “I’m hallucinating all this magic mumbo jumbo” idea because he’s experienced hallucinations before.
(Prepare for obsessive rambling under the cut.)
First, let’s establish exactly what a hallucination is. It’s a bit more involved than “seeing things that aren’t there.”
To paraphrase, a hallucination is the perception of an object or event without the presence of an external stimulus (DSM-V). Hallucinations can involve any of the main five senses: visual (sight), auditory (sound), tactile (touch), olfactory (scent), gustatory (taste).
They can also involve more peripheral senses: proprioception (sensing where your own body parts are), equilibrioception (sense of balance), nociception (essentially, your ability to sense pain), thermoception (sensing temperature), chronoception (sense of time passing).
What this means is that, if the hallucination is severe enough, your mind can be tricked into perceiving just about anything. People, locations, sounds—wind blowing, fire burning, the sensation of falling, flying, floating, the illusion of pain.
And hallucinations can get very severe. They’re a cornerstone symptom of schizophrenia, which can feature incredibly vivid and dangerous illusions. (If you haven’t seen ‘A Beautiful Mind,’ I highly recommend it, especially as an insight into what schizophrenia really looks like.)
I’m somewhere on the schizophrenic spectrum, though my psychiatrist was confident that schizophrenia won’t develop. My hallucinations are caused by stress, manic depression, and an overactive imagination that apparently screams “delusions of grandeur.” (Fun fact: “centaurs shooting arrows at fiery angels” is not on the pre-approved list of Rorschach images.)
My hallucinations have been mostly visual and auditory, with only the very worst episodes involving anything tactile. One of the worst I can remember was being chased out of my bed in the middle of the night by a creature (something like a badger or maybe a raccoon, totally common animals that I couldn’t immediately dismiss, but way more hostile), I could hear it, see it, scrabbling across my bed and clawing at my feet. It was on my heels all through the hall. My dad found me in the middle of the night, curled up on top of the bathroom sink and screaming.
It’s a horrible feeling to be caught in the middle of an episode like that. It’s humiliating. It’s dejecting. When they ask “what’s wrong” and you can’t even answer because you realize abruptly that it wasn’t real. Or you can tell them, but as you’re talking you have to watch their eyes go wide. That Oh God She’s Crazy™ look.
Even worse than that is realizing that you can’t trust your own mind anymore. Your own eyes, your ears, your skin—the only tools you have might fail you, and what are you supposed to do then?
Now imagine someone as brilliant, imaginative and proud as Kaiba falling prey to an episode like that. Maybe he was born with schizotypal tendencies, or anxiety or something like that. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe the extreme stress Gozaburo forced him to live under was enough, maybe abuse (physical, psychological, or both) was enough. Whatever the factors, maybe they drove him into this vicious cycle of night terrors and insomnia—sleep depravation to compound all the pressure and stress on his mind and body.
And maybe it starts out small. Fleeting shapes and sounds on the periphery (mild types of hallucinations called “disturbances,” which everyone experiences—just sort of hiccups in the brain). He just gets a little jumpy. Maybe even a bit paranoid. Nothing to panic over, totally normal under stress—probably.
But then that first major episode hits. Maybe it wakes him up, maybe it strikes in the middle of the day. Something like a creature (or even a person) chasing and threatening him, or someone talking to him, influencing him as surely as if they were real. Anything, really. Wouldn’t even have to be scary. Just something vivid. Then he gets caught, then he snaps out of it. Then there’s the humiliation, maybe even punishment for being weak or crazy. And it sticks.
Then the fear sets in—if he can’t trust his own senses, what can he trust? Certainly not this half-pint spouting nonsense about spirits and Egypt and magic. So what if he’s seen a “transformation” with his own eyes, or a “vision” of Ancient Egypt? He can’t trust his eyes. And I bet it feels like flat-out mockery when everyone around him corroborates. Do they think he’s stupid? Cause he’s not. Do they think their joke is funny? Cause it isn’t. How insulting.
To me it just seems so fitting to assume that his hostility toward the Yugi-tachi’s magic mumbo-jumbo is rooted in past experience. When he can’t trust his senses, he trusts science—the only irrefutable system he has. He trusts the universal language of mathematics, the precision of machines, the world as it is, not as he perceives it. To have faith in anything else is to risk his dignity (and whatever’s left of his sanity).
And when things really start to go down, when the “hallucinations” get bigger and more involved, he’s not just hostile, he’s terrified. Maybe they slipped him drugs? Maybe he’s in a coma?? His psychosis can’t possibly be this bad, can it?
You get paranoid when you can’t trust your own reality. Especially if pragmatism and logic are your doctrines.
(And on the topic of drug withdrawal causing hallucinations, which I’ve seen tied into this meta: I totally see that too, but I wanted to emphasize how the same problems can occur in the brain without drugs.)
~L
#my meta#seto kaiba#character meta#headcanon#kinda#yugioh#ygo#yu-gi-oh#this boy is my soul and I could ramble about him for days don't test me#you will die of old age before I'm done
217 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, I know that people often have quite mixed opinions about this, but I was wondering if, in your opinion, Near shows signs of being somewhere on the autism spectrum. As a guy on the spectrum myself, I always saw a bit of myself in Near and even L to a lesser extent, but I don't know how much of that is me seeing what I want to vs. things that are actually there, even if it most likely wasn't done intentionally. Sorry if you don't like these types of questions, I just figured I'd ask.
Haha, gosh I don’t mind you asking, anon!! That said, I feel like answering this might get me in trouble b/c the topic is a sensitive one, so I’ll just preface my response with this: I genuinely have no interest in taking something that is important to other people away from them. There are a lot of sweet folks out there who take inspiration from Near by viewing him through the lens of autism, and are empowered by that. There is nothing wrong with that and if it’s something that gives you hope or joy, please keep doing it. I was simply asked to play devil’s advocate in providing an opinion and that’s what this is about.
I think it’s impossible to say decisively whether or not Near has autism. That’s down to .a couple of different factors – most crucially, we simply have no idea what Near was like as a child. In other words, we have no real insight from the text as to whether Near’s behaviors was present at birth (ie. suggestive of autism) or if they were learned adaptive behaviors to external circumstances.
As an example from within Death Note – let’s just take a look at Mikami. As an adult. he’s a social recluse who lives an extremely rigid and structured life and also engages in somewhat repetitive behaviors (sakujo etc). If we left it at simply that, it might raise some suspicion for potential autism, but when you look into his backstory, we see that he was extremey social as a child, and that a lot of his rigidity specifically comes from attitudes he had in middle school that were in direct response to the bullying and harassment he endured. He enforces a hyperstriuctured lifestyle on himself because he has set the narrative in his head that his behavior is “good” and separates him from those he views as “unworthy.” That backstory dramatically alters the framework from which you’d view Mikami
But with Near this isn’t really as clear. We don’t know what happened in Near’s life that led to the death of both of his parents. We don’t know what his life with his parents was like, or how they treated him. We don’t know what his life was after their deaths and prior to his arrival at the Wammy’s orphanage. We don’t know if he was in a stable foster care situation or being shuffled around from place to place – and so on and so forth. All of these factors that are complete mysteries play pivotal roles in the developing mind of a child and depending on what kind of environment Near was in, he just may not have been adequately socialized in childhood and learned a lot of self comforting behaviors like hair twirling, surrounding himself with toys and so on.Though these things may look quite similar to someone who has autism, the reason they exist are substantially different. Hell, it’s even perfectly plausible that Near’s just a person who’s a little on the blunt side who likes what he likes/doesn’t give a damn what other people think about it and has a fear of planes. That’s really not that unreasonable either.
At the end of the day, it all just solidly depends on what exactly you headcanon for Near’s past. Canon doesn’t rule out autism, but it doesn’t exclude other possibilities either. If you headcanon that Near was born neurodivergent, then you’d argue he’s autistic – but nothing in canon would irrefutably support or invalidate it. If you headcanon Near became the way he is, canon would again neither irrefutably support or invalidate it. Personally I’ve seen interpretations of Near where he is interpreted as autistic and have seen interpretations where Near is not autistic and have enjoyed both takes on his character.
On a somewhat tangential note, I agree with the last thing you said. Any inferences that could be made about Near’s autism I think are entirely coincidental as Ohba doesn’t really seem to care about portraying neurodivergence in a way that’s nuanced or respectful. I’m pretty damn sure from an authorial intent pov, Ohba just wanted to give Near some unique “quirks” just like L and Mello had their own. That’s not to say people shouldn’t headcanon Near as autistic (b/c honestly, fuck authorial intent), but to say that people should be careful before crediting Ohba for things he didn’t actually do.
19 notes
·
View notes
Photo
amanda e. souza: aesthetic + headcanons
“nothing vast enters the lives of mortals without ruin.”- sophocles (tr, anne carson)
- The Souza’s divorce was hardly dramatic. It was an inevitable conclusion, even in the eyes of their then-six year old. There was no yelling or sobbing or tossing belongings out of windows; just two people and eight years of marriage and the quiet realization that things weren’t working. But they had their careers. The Souzas liked their careers, possibly more than they liked most people. Maria Souza got her daughter on vacations and Daniel Souza had her the rest of the year and that was that. Divorce was stunningly easy so long as you never really liked each other.
- The thing was that Daniel Souza was an academic- studying Ancient Greek classics, specifically- and academics are a nomadic group. Amanda spent her childhood moving from college town to college town, staying five or six years before starting over somewhere new once her father got a better position somewhere else. As a result, she never truly settled anywhere. After moving to Mount Wells for her senior year of high school, she made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t run away from making connections. Even after four years, it’s difficult to fight her urge to not settle, wait for everything to fall apart and go somewhere else to rinse and repeat.
- Social cues have always been hard for Amanda. One of her symptoms from being on the autism spectrum is a difficulty when it comes to reading microexpressions and navigating complicated social situations and it becomes very clear in the way she interacts. It takes her longer to respond then it might for others, working things out in her head to discern meaning and connotation, and she often will ask people to clarify what they say. It’s partly this that makes Amanda so hesitant to put herself out there, since she always worries that she’s embarrassing herself or offending someone by being too blunt. To compensate, she makes herself very agreeable. She knows enough to blend in so long as she isn’t the one people focus on.
- Staying on the sidelines is a choice that she made, keeping her head down instead of drawing attention for her very externalized issues. She’s good with people she knows, people who understand how she works, but among those she doesn’t she stumbles and stutters and falls apart. Amanda feels most comfortable in invisibility, observing rather than participating.
- For as much as she hates them, it’s all of these qualities that have made Amanda so uniquely suited to tracking the way different social systems work. Figuring out power structures- who to talk to and who to not, what qualities are considered bad or good, whatever dark secrets are making the machine tick- is a survival skill, not a hobby. But what started as small things that didn’t quite add up has evolved into a minor obsession. Mount Wells is even more complicated than anywhere else she ever lived, despite its calm facade.
- They started as doodles; layouts that were half temple and half maze scribbled on the margins of notebook paper. Over the years they’ve grown more and more complicated, until it seems only she can see the way out of them. She gives them to her friends, leaves smudged ballpoint versions on diner napkins, traces out designs when she’s lost in thought. They’re utter fantasy, as impossible as anything Escher drew, but she can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness about the fact that they’ll never be built. In the twenty first century, no one has any need for labyrinths.
- As an outlet for nervous energy, Amanda knits. She always has needles and yarn in her (ridiculously oversized) bag, along with headphones, and a pack of cigarettes, and mints, and at least eight dollars in cash at all times, and her I.D because she keeps getting carded, and about a million other things because she’s terrified she’ll be in a situation she hasn’t prepared for.
- Amanda’s middle name is what her father wanted to name her. She remains eternally grateful that she is not in fact named Elektra or, even worse, Clytemnestra.
- Amanda loves dogs, but not enough to actually take care of one. Instead she lives vicariously through her friends who have pets.
- The supernatural and otherworldly seems kind of ridiculous and overly New-Agey to Amanda, but she supports Dera nonetheless. She just refuses to ever have her fortune told. It feels creepy.
- Amanda’s half-brother, Claudio, is in many ways her complete opposite. He’s a twelve year old bulldozer, a troublemaker who’s already been made to leave two schools for being overly disruptive. He’s Amanda’s favorite person in the entire world, her little brother that can always make her smile and is too blunt to ever misinterpret. She doesn’t get to see him often, the result of living on different continents, but they keep in contact via technology. It’s nice, even if he does send her a lot of Sonic the Hedgehog memes.
- Maria Souza moved back to Sao Paulo after the divorce, where she continues her work as a contract lawyer. Amanda’s relationship with her mother is awkward, since she wasn’t really there to watch her grow up.
- Amanda is bilingual, speaking both English and Portuguese. She really only uses it among her family, since none of her friends here speak it.
- She also smokes, a bad habit she picked up from both her parents. She’s embarrassed about it, makes sure she does it with no one around and constantly pops mints to cover up the smell.
- Amanda was born in Houston, lived there for five years, lived in Madison, Wisconsin for four years, Boston for another four, and lived in Phoenix for five. Mount Wells remains the smallest place she has ever lived, the only place she can’t completely disappear. It was charming for the first year or so, before Amanda found herself unable to ignore the hidden rules and secrets. Now she wants desperately to know what makes it tick, a desire that interferes directly with her goal of keeping her head down and getting through school.
1 note
·
View note
Link
“Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we're told to keep private by getting them to roll a die. The numbers they land on are the topics they're given.
This week he talks to Courtney Act. A world-renowned drag queen, the Brisbane-born 36-year-old – also known as Shane Jenek – won Britain's Celebrity Big Brother in 2018 and this year competed in SBS's Eurovision: Australia Decides [...]”
Courtney’s interview for The Sydney Morning Herald - February 16, 2019
BODIES
We know there are wigs and make-up but what else do you need to put your body through to transform into Courtney Act?
Obviously drag has different intentions and my drag has always been about gender illusion. I have a steel-boned corset that pulls my waist in. People think corsets are for looking thinner, but it's more about modifying the shape of your body into an hourglass.
How painful is that?
It's all relative because there are so many other things going on. To me it doesn't feel painful as I've been doing it for 18 years. The most painful parts are the high heels, which can become unbearable. Then I tuck, which is turning my male genitals into something that will look female under a swimsuit
Yes! How do you do that? I can't get my head – or balls – around it.
[Laughs] If you're born with testicles, they descend from a cavity inside into the scrotum. They go back up there when you're cold, scared or if you're lying on your back when you ejaculate.
So when you tuck they're not being pulled behind?
No, that would hurt when you sit down. They sort of just pop up, almost between your skin and pelvis bone. It's natural and doesn't hurt. Then the penis goes between the legs. If I'm wearing a swimsuit or anything revealing, I use two kinds of tape: a delicate paper surgical tape from the pharmacy so nothing slips out the side, and another tape from Bunnings to take things from front to back and snatch it all away.
I love knowing part of your glamour relies on equipment from a hardware store.
It does!
You identify as somewhere towards the middle of the gender spectrum. At the same time, many people insist there are only two genders.
There's biological sex, which is made up of not just external genitals, but your chromosomes and hormones. But when we talk of gender, they're the agreed ideas that societies have for how the sexes should behave. If you look around the world, we see there are completely different expectations for men and women. Times change. People who cling rigidly to gender binaries are more than welcome to. But for a lot of young people, we're seeing that our gender roles don't have to be dictated by a set of rules made by society. We can do whatever feels natural to us.
SEX
Did you feel you had the education you needed to equip you for the world of sex?
When it came to having sex with men, there was no education. There were no queer role models, no gay role models, no gay people on television. Nothing.
Did that mean you had to feel your own way through?
When I first had sex with a man, I was 18 and I thought, "Well, I'm not going to get pregnant, and he's not going to pregnant, so we obviously don't need condoms." It was friends who had to tell me, "Ah, there are things other than babies you can catch from having sex without a condom."
You've gone from someone who was quite naïve about sexual health to a sex educator on social media. How did that happen?
I felt it was incumbent on me to understand and educate others. I was always hungry for information and wanted to know more.
On the American reality TV series RuPaul's Drag Race, you mentioned that you'd had sex in and out of drag. What is it like to have sex in drag?
I've seen attraction manifest itself in so many fascinating ways. Lots of straight-identifying men have been attracted to me as Courtney. I've also had experiences as Shane with men who identify as straight. I've had boyfriends I've dated whom I met as Courtney, but then dated as Shane. Courtney can certainly act as a glamorous stepping stone across the pond.
DEATH
Run me through your will. Who gets your drag?
I wrote it so long ago that I can't remember who gets what. Different people have put dibs on my good human-hair wigs. Possibly, one day – if I keep on this trajectory – there could be a costume exhibition.
If there was a legacy prize set up in your honour, where would you want that money to go?
Education. Something for young queer people who can't afford the education they want. Or it could be about gender and sexual education at large, through different organisations. Many gay organisations focus on liberating gender and sexuality minorities in places where people aren't afforded the same privileges we are in the West. Right now, there are more than 30 Commonwealth countries where it's effectively illegal to be gay, and in one of them you can be put to death.
Are you scared of death?
As I get older, I'm more comfortable with the idea of dying. I'm an atheist, so I don't believe in a heaven or afterlife. I believe that once I die, that's it.
How do you want to be sent off?
Buried in a cardboard box under a tree. Whatever has the least environmental impact. Just return me to the earth. A party would also be fun.
Courtney Act will compete on Network Ten's Dancing With the Stars from Monday.”
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
