#*kissing sounds* MMM AND THEYRE BOTH BOYS
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part four of my playlist analysis!!
part 1 <-
part 2 <-
part 3 <-
back into the soup we dive
somewhere only we know - keane
lockwood takes them to a special spot and they have a nice picnic on a hill and cuddle on a picnic blanket <3 we're ignoring how sad the song actually is <33.
brooklyn baby - lana del rey
oh please lockwood is so brooklyn baby by lana del rey you cant tell me hes not hes a posh little london boy and lucy's a girl who grew up in a rural town in the north theyre so brooklyn baby.
sunsetz - cigarettes after sex
we're ignoring the sexual aspect of this song entirely <3 anyway theyre wandering around a park just before the sunset, just being silly and cute <333.
like real people do - hozier
look i know we've had plenty of locklyle sleepy morning and sleepy nights but this one is DIFFERENT OK. they wake up in lockwoods bed after a rough night of panic attacks from both of them, they fell asleep in eachothers arms. lucy tries to get up without disturbing him and he, still asleep, holds her tighter and kisses her forehead. she stays till he wakes up and they kiss <333 domesticity my beloved.
its called: freefall - rainbow kitten surprise
george and lucy talking methinks. it just feels like a serious conversation between them.
my kind of woman - mac demarco
lockwood just heart-eyes-ing at lucy while she files papers in the basement or smth idk just lockwood pathetic simp mode, as usual <33.
i was all over her - salvia palth
lmao lockwood hopeless simp time but sad edition. the way he looks at her, like shes all hes ever wanted, all he ever will want, but the knowledge that she may never be his. this gets even worse after she starts helping him with his panic attacks, he feels like hes using her.
francis forever - mitski
lockwood, alone in his room, every night after lucy left. he cant get her out of his head and hes to afraid to ask george for help, for fear george will tell him to suck it up and move on (which of course would never happen). those where some rough nights for lockwood.
the beer - kimya dawson
lucy breakdown song (real) (not clickbait) (im definitely not writing this instead of my essay waht are you talking about)
i want you - mitski
lucy, longing for lockwood more than anything, but shes so deathly afraid that holly is replacing her.
diet mountain dew - lana del rey
ok it doesnt. really fit their dynamic i dont think but it just sounds so right ykwim?
good looking - suki waterhouse
hes her good looking boy!!! this song is so them just read the lyrics <33.
4 morant - doja cat
erm. uhm. haha. i mean. yea. erm. so. hee hee. lockwood vibes.
harness your hopes - b-side - pavement
that whole 'hold me just like the morning paper' line is so simp-y lockwood <3333.
dirty night clowns - chris garneau
different. vibe from the last song uhhh. do i have to explain.
move me - half.alive
THEY ARE SO HALF.ALIVE I CANT EXPLAIN IT ITS JUST THEM. i mean the literal first line of this song is 'i never told, you never asked' which is quite literally them in episode 6 so.
i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys
just lockwood being a simp again and who can blame him lucy is so <333.
britrock - mccafferty
uh oh more mccafferty time. this song is just so lucy i dont know why it just is im sorry. im not sorry.
after dark - mr. kitty
sad vibes. theyre both in the dark just lying together in lockwoods bed. not even talking just together. thinking.
ill call you mine - girl in red
do i have a personal vendetta against this song?? yes. will it stop me from using it for Them TM?? absolutely not. cute domestic roadtrip vibes fight me.
i want to be with you - chloe moriondo
this one is self explanatory.
bedroom ghost - flower face
oops different vibe. lucy shower breakdown? no, lockwood shower breakdown :sunglasses:.
privately owned spiral galaxy - crywank (specifically the lovejoy cover tho)
mmm lockwood thinking alone in his room song methinks.
christ alright, part 5 ig im so sorry this is so long i feel so bad dfhgfkjg
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notable moments from The Lost Hier Job
leverage 2.09
(Sophie opens her curtains and looks out the window. A knock comes to the door and she goes to look through the peep hole, then immediately opens the door)
Sophie: Who's dead?
Nate: No, no. Everybody's okay. Can I...
Sophie: Huh?
Nate: I-I...
(Sophie lets Nate into the room)
Sophie: Oh. Y-You scared the life out of me.
HER FIRST FEAR IS THAT SOMEONE DIED OR GOT HURT
SOPHIE IS THEIR MOM FIRST BEFORE EVERYTHING
- - - - -
Nate: Oh, yeah. No, we're doing fine. I mean, yeah. Everything's, I mean, it kind of went from a quintet to what we are now, a quartet. I mean, it's like, we still know how to play. We sound good, you know. But something is, uh, sounding a little bit, uh, you know, wrong.
Sophie: Huh. Well, I hope that I’m, I really hope I’m not the violist because when I was little, my mum made me have lessons, and I was rubbish. I was completely rubbish. I can't play a note. Not a single note
- - - - -
Tara: Either I am in, or Ruth is out. It's your choice. (walks away)
Nate: They are gonna hate this.
[Leverage HQ]
Eliot: I hate this.
Hardison: You do not let Vicki Vale into the Batcave ever.
Nate: First, this is my home, not a cave. And, second, we're not gonna allow her up here.
Parker: Sophie would never approve. Call her.
Nate: We can't just keep calling Sophie.
Hardison: Oh, okay. I see how it is. We can't call her, but you can go off and have a little secret meeting with her.
Nate: Secret meeting? What are you talking about? I was in Harrisburg, researching a client.
Hardison: Wow, ‘cause you know what? (hits remote and pulls information up on monitor) Your passport got dinged going through Heathrow airport yesterday. Heathrow's in London. I guess you couldn't get a direct flight over to Harrisburg.
Eliot: Well, it's hard when you do the same-day booking.
Hardison: Yeah, 'cause you had to go with the -- Did you realize that London is the home of the most surveillance cameras in the world?
Parker: Really?
Hardison: Who feels like playing "where's Waldo"?
Parker: Oh. Yeah. (raises hand)
Hardison: I do. (hits remote to show video on monitors) Oh. There's Waldo right there. Waldo Ford. Oh, oh. Is that big Ben and you? Wow. You got twins and triplets everywhere. And looky there. 11:18 am standing outside of Sophie’s apartment, Looking quite pensive.
Parker: Aww. He's rehearsing what he's gonna say. I've seen him do that.
Nate: All right, all right, all right, guys. Okay. Yeah. You caught me. I went to London. Yeah. I saw Sophie. And she's not coming back.
Parker: Not now or not ever?
Nate: I don't know. And I don't, I don't think she knows either. So, uh, that's that. Could you please take the...
(Hardison darkens the monitors)
parker wearing that bright yellow flannel? adorable
parker and eliot look DELIGHTED as hardison fucks with nate it’s great
- - - - -
Hardison: Tara Carlisle. She checks out. Civil-Rights lawyer, does a lot of pro bono work. Collects lost causes like kittens.
Eliot: Well, she's honest.
Hardison: Crusader. Incorruptible.
(Tara pulls up and gets out of her car)
Hardison: And one sexy librarian
I saw a headcanon that Tara did actually do this on the side for a living, because, if you think about it, could she really fake a file THAT GOOD to fool hardison, the best hacker in the world
- - - - -
we love to see parker in the vents
- - - - -
EVEN IN P R I S O N HARDISON GETS HIS ORANGE SODA
- - - - -
(Frank slides the back from a photo to find a Nazi flag and a photo of Hitler. He carries it over to where Orson is standing between Hardison and Eliot)
Hardison: My god, he is Aryan nation
LMFAO
- - - - -
(Blanchard enters room reading a file. He looks up to see Nate on a ladder tearing pages from a law book and clears his throat. Nate looks over at him)
can someone PLEASE make a compilation of nate’s characters being obnoxious and chaotic pretty please
- - - - -
parker’s sMOOTH exit from the vents into a flip I am in LOVE with her
- - - - -
Hardison: I tied the adoption-Reference number to the medical records of one of Parker's aliases. Social security, taxes, long record of drug offenses. Anybody short of the CIA is gonna believe that is Kimball’s daughter.
he’s so good at this I love it
- - - - -
(hiding behind a broken crate, Lind points a gun at Parker and Hardison. Eliot sees this as he approaches)
Eliot: Nate!
(Lind fires, shattering the passenger’s side window. Eliot runs forward, bends to pick up a rock, and throws it at Lind, hitting him in the head. He fires again, shooting out the tire as Nate runs around the car. Lind swings the gun at Eliot, who catches it. Lind punches Eliot in the stomach and Eliot hits Lind in the face with the gun. Eliot throws the gun down as Lind stumbles back for more)
Eliot: Come on!
(Lind swings, Eliot ducks and hits Lind in the ribs, then pushes him away. Lind turns around and swings but Eliot blocks his punches, grabbing him and throwing him to the ground. Lind gets up and looks at the gun. Eliot picks up the gun)
Eliot: You want this?
(Lind holds up his hands and moves away, running. Nate and Parker move out from behind the car. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it aside)
when eliot sees the sniper and is terrified? when he manages to pick up a rock and nail the sniper in the face with it while running? his FURY when he’s fighting him? he’ll do anything to protect his family
- - - - -
(Eliot and Parker walk past a sunglasses vendor. Eliot bumps a table for a distraction and Parker grabs two pairs of sunglasses, handing one to Eliot)
Eliot: Are you kidding me? (puts on the glasses) Look at this.
THEYRE SO IN SYNC I LOVE IT
also married complaining about the style of the sunglasses? we love to see it
- - - - -
(Eliot and Parker run through a hallway)
Parker: We're cut off. We're gonna have to get rough.
Eliot: I ain't hitting cops.
(a noise from behind has them looking back)
Parker: I look forward to seeing you explain that
remember that one commentary with john rogers where he said in this scene beth changed her lines/energy to more of a kinky vibe that made the scene that much better? because I do and boy was this scene charged with something interesting
- - - - -
Eliot: All right. Be cool.
(Eliot unloads the gun and catches the bullet)
Eliot: All right. Nothing's gonna happen to anybody. Just settle down.
(The officer raises a stun gun that Eliot knocks out of his hand and Parker catches)
Eliot: You’re not using a stun gun either
(Eliot pushes the officer back and Parker points the stun gun at the officer)
Eliot: Hold on. Stop. Chill. All right? Nobody's gonna get hurt.
(another officer steps out behind Parker, his gun raised)
Officer: Drop it!
(Parker points the stun gun under her arm and hits the officer, knocking him down)
Eliot (to Parker): Seriously? What are you doin’?
Parker: Mmm.
Eliot (to officer): Listen, it's probably best if you pretend that you never saw us. Okay?
(Eliot and Parker move down the hall past the fallen officer. Parker triggers the stun gun again)
Eliot: Stop
parker loves tasing people and eliot is exhausted
- - - - -
Nate: Hey, Parker, forget about the hearing. I need you to do something else.
(Parker pulls files from the safe in Blanchard’s office, proudly kissing it)
SHES BABY YOUR HONOR
- - - - -
Blanchard: What the hell is this? Hey, you don't understand!
(the officers drag Blanchard to the exit)
Blanchard: These people are thieves! I don’t even think that one’s a lawyer!
someone also make a compilation of their marks swearing they’re not who they say they are. I just think it’s funny and chaotic
- - - - -
parker hardison and eliot all walk in together (TOGETHER)
also both parker and eliot are wearing flannel
- - - - -
Parker: I bet you're not even a lawyer.
Tara: Oh. Sophie was right. You are adorable.
Parker: Excuse me?
(Eliot, Parker and Hardison talk angrily at her for several moments as Nate reads what’s in the envelope)
some highlights that I was able to hear from all of them talking over each other:
- Eliot: Don’t comment and say that kinda stuff. You don’t know us at all.
- Hardison: Woah, you’re overstepping here
- Parker: You don’t get to call me adorable. You don’t get to say that.
basically the boys jump to her defense and I love it
also SOPHIE CANONICALLY TOLD TARA PARKER WAS ADORABLE THATS SO SWEET
- - - - -
Hardison: Whoa, whoa, hold up. Mnh-Mnh. Hold up, hold up. What is this?
Tara: Oh, it’s a bill, for my cut of the inheritance. Hey, I’m not a candy striper. This is my job.
(Eliot, Hardison and Parker look at Nate, who nods)
Tara: There. See? We're getting paid already. It's gonna be fun.
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good intentions— chan
a/n: one of my suggestive drafts, i have no idea if it’s good or not hhh
you opened the door to the new apartment, vanilla scents and a heated aura filling the room. you were aware of the roommate you had, but looking for them seemed like a struggle.
the living room was built into a music studio, a black leather couch against the wall and a painting of a naked women to complement the whole room.
you dropped your bags into what the apartment owner claimed your room to be and went out to explore the rest of the building when you heard a noise from the room across from yours.
the door was open, the room dark but you noticed a light illuminating from what seemed to be laptop. a few steps in and you saw a boy with dark brown hair, his hands motioning up and down against an office chair.
“c’mon now daddy? just imagine my ass riding your cock daddy” a high pitch voiced ringing from the speakers
all you could hear was moans and grunts from the boy, his hand motioning up and down as he stroked himself. his head pulled back on his headrest as he reached his high, cum spilling all over his angry member to the sheets on the floor.
“god, you’re horny too” you said in a blunt manner, catching the guy by surprise as he turned around on his chair.
“oh fuck- who are you?” he said, his eyes popping out in embarrassment. he grabbed the messy blanket from the floor in an attempt to cover his member.
“don’t worry bro, ive seen much bigger” you mentioned, making the boy laugh as he walked up to you.
he grabbed your hand, feeling the heat from earlier linging onto you as he shook your hand. “im bang chan, your new roommate”
“im y/n, ill see you on the couch. i suggest you shower”
chan smiled dropped from his expression along with his blanket, turning around to walk to the shower. “don’t miss me” he said, waving his hand as you watched his ass walk to the bathroom down the hall.
“god, that’s fucking sexy” you said, feeling the pool of wetness down puddling under your dress.
—-
you seated yourself on the couch, your hands stroking your bare legs as chan came in with grey sweats and no tee. you couldn’t help but to blush at his toned abs, the veins on his arms or the way he bit his lip as he walked towards you. he sat next to you, handing you his phone as he clicked his tongue.
“so i did a little research, you’re the girl that fucked with hyunjin and minho in 12th grade huh? impressive.”
you rolled your eyes, a smile on your face as you never failed to retort him. “and you’re chan? the boy that cums to pornstars huh? impressive”
chan smirked as he leaned back on the couch, “c’mon. we know we’re both not innocent here, so living together may be a problem. like things could get... seriously nasty around here”
“hmm, you sound like you’re talking about something important, please continue” you replied, straightening your short floral dress
“well, i think we have to set some ground rules.” chan said, taking back his phone to pull up his notes.
“ok.. rule number one; no touching.”
“wait wait wait, what? chan what the fuck?” you interrupted.
“girls tend to get all, horny next to me. so no touching. but to emphasize- no touching in a dirty way. anything else is fine”
“so if i have good intentions... to touch you... then it’s fine?”
chan poured his lips, thinking about it for a second before replying. “hmm... yes”
you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips. “how long do you think you’ll be able to keep that up for?” you said, raising your eyebrows in expectation of a reply
“im thinking not for long.. but i wouldn’t want things to get messy around here, you know what i mean right?” chan replied, the two of you slowly inching closer.
“oh- like your grandma’s blanket messy?” you replied, your hands closing chan against the corner of the couch.
“what did i tell you kitten? no seducing, only good intentions”
“what do you mean ‘daddy’? im only helping you out with your little problem” you straddled chans waist with your legs as you pulled him into your chest, your lips near his ear
chan let out a dark chuckle before gently pushing you off his lap. his eyes winced in pain and you tilted your head, knowing the effect you had on him. “this y/n..” he said, pointing at his little situation “..this doesn’t need help”
“yeah” you chuckled in your seat, “have fun helping yourself” you winked, getting up from your seat to grab a drink from the kitchen.
—————
two days later you sat on the black leather couch, your pajama shorts covered by a small decorative pillow and a sheer silk blouse with nothing underneath.
the comfiness took over you, your legs spread on the seat with a bag of popcorn in your hands as you watched the movie on the tv.
“mmm.. popcorn?” bang chan said, quickly joining you on the couch and taking the bag from your hands.
“hey!” you watched as bang chan popped a popcorn into his mouth, his attention on the screen
“is this a romance movie?” he questioned, watching as the couple grew closer on the screen
“maybe..” you muttered to yourself, taking the popcorn bag back as the scene you had been waiting for arrived. you anticipated this moment, after 2 seasons the couple had to kiss! they just had to!!
“YES!” you exclaimed, causing chan to jump in his seat
“WHAT HAPPENED?!” bang chan questioned as he watched your glued eyes on the screen
“they’re kissing oh my god chan they’re finally kissing” you slapped chans arm constantly without realizing it
“chan theyre-!!” chan grabbed your wrist, taking you by surprise.
“y/n...” he growled under his breath. you let out a cough of satisfaction. god.. was he willing to break his rule tonight? out of all days? you could easily play around with this.
you let go of his grip, nudging closer to chan as the kissing scene went on and placed your head on his chest.
“no touching” he whispered into your ear
“not unless i haven good intentions” you replied, finding his hand and locking your fingers with his
chan, surprisingly, didn’t complain. it was a shocker when you felt his heart beats increase under his thin black tee. he simply let his tenseness calm down by your touch. his body relaxed as the two of you watched the scene unravel on the tv, much longer than you had anticipated. you couldn’t help but to notice chans lips water as the romantic gesture went on
“this is super weird, i didn’t think they’d make out for that long” you said, grabbing the remote to skip the scene
“forget it” chan said, grabbing the remote and turning off the tv
“chan?” you said, turning around to see him bite his lips
“fuck good intentions y/n, god i want you so bad” he said in a raspy voice, his hand slithering up your pajama shorts
“you want me so bad?” you asked, getting up from your seat and dropping your sheer silk pajama top to the floor
“then come get me”
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drunk in your arms
A/N: so this is inspired by the “things you said when you where drunk” thingy also a scene from ‘perks of being a wallflower’ ALSO ALSO THEYRE IN COLLEGE NO UNDERAGE DRINKING THEYRE GOOD BOIS
charlie didn’t like parties at all, the music was always to loud, people where always occuping the bathroom (if you know what i mean) when he needed to use it and he didn’t really liked drinking (or drugs if you accidentally show up to the wrong party) that much. the only reason charlie had actually showed up was to look after mike just to make sure he didn’t get into any serious trouble like last time.
it had been a few hours now and mike had gotten pretty drunk, well pretty drunk was kind of an understatement, he was shit faced, so charlie decided now was a good time to head home. charlie held mike up, trying to help him walk and to keep mike’s balance up, taking him outside to wait for a taxi to come pick them both up.
charlie was pretty exhausted so you could imagine the relief when they finally arrived home. charlie took mike to the couch to watch tv and sober up since he obviously still had lots of energy to spare
“stay here okay, just watch so tv, drink water and rest okay? i’m going to sleep but wake me up if you need anything” charlie smiles tiredly heading to his room but is stopped in his tracks by a hand holding his
“mmm charlie no no no stay please i’ll miss you if you go” mike slurs his words and giggles betweens his words, being a bit more touchy than usual- not in an uncomfortable way though just more touchy than mike usally is
“but mike i’ll just be in the other room-“ charlie is cut of
“please mm staaaay charlie” mike responds in his cute little drunk way pulling charlie closer
“fine..only because you’re my best friend” charlie responds, he should be annoyed right now be he can’t be
“mmm yeah bessstt friends, but but charlie we could hold haaaandss or kiss like this” mike makes kissing noises with his mouth then laughs hysterically at his own comment. charlie can’t think of anything to say because he knows mike doesn’t mean it, he’s completely off his face, so right now nothing he says really matters
“charlie can you do me a biiiiiiiig favour” mike’s acting a bit like a toddler charlie thinks and if he’s being honest it’s kind of humorous
“..what is it” charlie asks
“can you make me a milkshake i reaaaaally want one” mike says between mumbled words
“..okay but after this please rest you’ll regret it tomorrow” charlie walks into the kitchen, mike follows along behind him taking a seat at one of the stalls
“charlie, you have really pretty eyes, like the kind of pretty that deserves to make a big deal about” mike says in a soft tone, it’s not like anything else mike has said the whole night. his words are still slurred and it’s obvious he’s still drunk but it sounds genuine enough
charlie stops
“thank you mike”
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hh the ship thing do. uh. august and eden. with. ,,idk fuckin all of them there isn't that many gfgvh. if thats okay idk if you only wanted your own ocs and only yours
/mostly wanted my ocs bc i suck with these types of things butttt
I’ll make an exception for the lads
❤: who is more affectionate in public? in private?
Oh god. August is probably a little more affectionate in public, maybe. And Eden moreso in private. The type to pull august down and kiss him.
♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?
Shhiiit i don’t know. They’re both pretty equal on openly.
❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine's day?
Sounds like an August thing. “Eden is working so hard and i wanna do something so nice for him”
ღ: who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public?
August is.
💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people?
I’m not sure i can really see either of them doing it on purpose but if they’re hanging out I can see Eden being really gushy infront of people even if he’s not aware they’re watching.
💘: who developed a crush on the other first?
Shit i dont know. Sounds like August would’ve just ‘he’s not really that mean to me and he’s letting me in his house a lot now.’
💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?
Eden is a perfectionist so probably him.
💓: who initiates most physical contact?
mmm august i’d think.
💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?
EQUAL. THEYRE NERDS.
💟: who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities?
neither
💙: who is more protective?
Eden is probably, even if he’s just a little chunko boy.
💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?
August probably gets sick a lot and Eden is pretty good at caring for that since he’s a germaphobe.
💜: who said "i love you" first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?
Eden did
💛: who believes in soulmates?
Sounds like an August thing.
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29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH 27
FINALLY FINISHED THIS!! So the monsters try really hard to figure out why they aren't monsters any more. Turns out they cant focus for five minutes without going off on a weird tangent about washing machines and butts. Papawise is gonna have to try to get these idiots to be productive. Good luck papa you’re gonna need it.
CH 27
Focusing is Hard
“Are we going to address this human problem now?”
Freddy and Drac sat on the couch already breaking into Chucky’s beer stash as Leech plopped herself onto Robert’s lap on the loveseat. the former clown brought a long arm around her and nuzzled his nose into her drying hair. “Mmm you smell just like me” he growled. “I wonder why” Leech giggled and kissed his jaw line. Freddy nearly gagged.
“*AHEM* SO is that a no on the problem solving then?” he asked the ex-nosferatu.
“Fred like either of us have any idea how this happened at all.”
“Well did you two do anything? I dunno like did you activate some curse or something? Maybe pissed off a witch?”
“What witch is powerful enough to turn Pennywise human? Let alone a whole town full of over powered evil.” Leech crossed her legs over the side of the chair getting comfy.
“I love it when you call me powerful.” Robert beamed with pride from having his ego stroked.
“Focus Bob” She scolded him.
As they discussed their options there was a clatter in the basement followed by a wheeze. Everyone froze solid looking at eachother and back down the hall. “Do we go investigate?” the nosferatu asked hesitantly.
“Isn’t that usually how humans get killed by us?” Freddy grumbled.
“Holy shit being on the other side of the horror movie sucks balls” Leech picked up a beer bottle in defence peering down the hall.
“I’ll go. You all would be such easy targets.” Robert rolled his eyes. His companions’ fears starting to annoy him.
“Like hell you are! We all know what happens when the prey splits up!” Leech grabbed his arm before he could march into any more danger.
“Lets just all go together then. Can’t be anything too terrible with everyone being turned human.” Freddy handed Dracula a broken piece of wood who glanced over at his roommate in confusion.
“We’re so going to die” the ex nosferatu groaned.
The former monsters approached the door leading to the basement where they could hear more panting and wheezing which seemed to get louder and louder. Leech hesitantly opened the door which made an extremely ominous creak causing the ex-vampire to grip her bottle tighter. They peered into the basement, everyone silently cursing Penny for making his house as equally scary as himself. Something wet and dark flopped out of the well gasping like a fish out of water. Robert felt both his arms get grabbed by Leech and Freddy at once while Drac clung to his roommate from behind. The weight of 3 grown adults clinging to his silk robe like baby sloths nearly pulled the former eldritch to the ground and he gave them all an angry scowl. “Really?!” he hissed. The wet thing began to stand it looked like a person, a very tired and pissed off person.
“I just walked for MILES through the freezing sewer, so you MORONS better tell me what the hell is going on right now or there will be consequences!” they said.
The man finally came into view. He looked quite different without the giant red nose.
“U-Uncle Penny?” Leech stuttered the man rung out the wet shirt he had clearly killed someone for as there was a large blood stain on the collar.
“This is what you look like as humans? Jesus Junior those pants tight enough?”
“Theyre Freddy’s…” Robert looked off to the side.
“Actually I think those are mine!” Leech pulled at his pants to inspect the pocket “Yeah theres the hole in the pocket!”
“Leechie why does Krueger have your pants?” If Robert still had fangs theyd be out.
“Oh calm down Fred and I swap clothes all the time.” she waved him off and rolled her eyes at his jealousy.
“Yeah Fangs does laundry at our place cause you won’t get a washer dryer”
“There’s a wash tub right over there!” Robert snarled at the former dream demon in annoyance. First it was wifi and microwaves now its modern washing machines! How is anyone going to be scared when they walk into the haunted house on Neibolt if theyre greeted with the scent of clean laundry and hot pockets.
“The 1800s were over a long ass time ago Bob!” Leech complained she had been trying to get him to change his mind on this for weeks now.
“I am trying to cultivate an atmosphere that generates fear! Dryer sheets and laundry detergent create the opposite effect Leech!”
“Sheesh Junior you take your interior decorating a bit too seriously.” his uncle rolled his eyes at his younger counterpart.
“Will all of you please drop the washer/dryer thing”
“IS THE CLOWN FINALLY GETTING A WASHING MACHINE?” came Tiffany’s voice from upstairs
“Look you’re in the minority here Robert, just let us get something basic.”
“Yeah Jingles, that way Fangs will stop leaving her pants at our place.” Freddy grumbled.
“Hey now I remember you saying you liked those pants and I let you borrow them!” Leech snapped.
“Yeah alright fine. Theyre good pants, I mean look at how great Jingles’ ass looks in them!” Freddy spun Robert around and slapped his ass howling in laughter at Robert’s enraged reaction.
“O să discutăm acum despre problema noastră?” ((will we talk about our problem now?)) Dracula asked. He had no idea what anyone was saying or why they were all humans all he knew was that he wanted to get back to being immortal as soon as possible.
“I dont speak French Dracula!” Uncle Penny grumbled.
“Oh my god how does that remotely even sound like French? Its fucking Romanian!” Leech snapped at him defending her extremely confused mentor.
“Whatever. Can all of you focus for just five minutes?! That’s all I’m asking for here. As soon as we figure out why the hell I can’t shape shift you can all go back to blabbering about eachother’s butts!” The older eldritch groaned in frustration.
“Ok but you have to agree theyre great pants though!”
“FIVE MINUTES KRUEGER!”
“Pff youre asking a lot, Freddy came over to do the same thing and within the first hour we all ended up being violently attacked by the cat and Robert lost a finger.” leech held up Robert’s injured hand.
“You lost a finger Junior? How do you fuck up this bad?”
“THATS WHAT I SAID!” Tiffany yelled once again from upstairs
“By the way, there a reason the dolls arent joining us in figuring this out?” Freddy asked Leech ignoring the enraged Uncle Penny’s complaints.
“A) I dont think they want to, and B) I’m pretty sure from the Rob Zombie music blasting from their room and the creaking bed springs theyre uh..busy..” Leech said.
“Gross” Robert snarled.
“JINGLES YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER!” Chucky shouted down.
“Unbelievable. You couldnt even do one minute of concentration! Were never getting back to normal jesus.” The elder eldritch tilted his head up at the ceiling growing tired of the other monsters constant distractions.
“Fine where do you suggest we start because we’re all out of ideas here.” Leech snapped.
“Did you even try having any ideas in the first place?”
The monsters opened their mouths to speak and immediately closed them. Ok so maybe they haven’t been the most proactive about this.
“Can we at least take this out of the basement then and get more beer before we start? I think I’m going to develop asthma from all the dust down here.” Leech began to walk back up the stairs to the kitchen. “You boys can either join me or stay down here in the dark. I’m out.” The other monsters shrugged and followed suit.
—————-
“Ok so we need to narrow down who is powerful enough to turn an entire town of powerful entities into humans.” Uncle Penny began drinking the beer Leech had got him from Chucky’s nearly empty stash.
“I can think of no one.” the younger vampire said.
“You haven’t been with us very long Leechie.” Robert patted her on the head.
“Wait isnt today Halloween?” Freddy asked having a rare appiphany.
“Yeah so?” Uncle Penny took another long swig of the beer surpriesed that he liked it so much.
“Yeah doesnt that mean certian supernatural parties are stronger today?” Leech asked
“Oh fuck ive heard of this before. Did any of you break the rules of Halloween?” Freddy asked, he had seen something like this in another town once. People who broke tradition on Halloween that night had bad things happen to them.
“There’s rules to this holiday?” Robert raised an eyebrow and tried to drink Leech’s beer grimacing at the tast and shoving it back into her hands. Everyone turned to him and glared.
“What did you do Jingles”
“Why are you accusing me?”
“Bob what did you fucking do?”
—————-
“YOU STOLE HIS WHAT?”
“I thought he was a regular child!!” Robert snarled. He recalled a small boy in an orange scarecrow outfit in the haunted house that just was not scared of him. He tried everything eventually getting frustrated and snatching the boy’s candy bag and vanishing to go find his mate. He had no idea he had just stolen from Samhain, who for one night a year was the most powerful being in existance.
“Wait hold on you fucking stole the spirit of Halloween’s bag of candy after you couldnt scare him because your feelings were hurt!?” Leech had hopped out of his lap and pushed her hands through her hair.
“He had no fear and I couldnt just let him get away! All the candy bars had razors in them anyway..”
“Where’s the fucking bag now Robert??” She grabbed his robe in her fists.
“In my lair I was going to eat around the knives!”
“Jesus christ Junior you must have really pissed him off!”
“How do we fix this then just give him back the bag?” Freddy asked.
“That’s a start….” The ex vampire took a long drink from her beer.
“Where would we find the little brat though?” Uncle Penny asked.
“Probably where the celebrations are thickest. That’s where I’d go for a holiday about me.” Freddy added.
“Looks like were going to have to do a traditional human halloween then. Let’s get some costumes carve some pumpkins and get me another god damn drink.” Leech sighed, it was going to be a long difficult day.
—————-
“Ok so what im thinking is if the Cenobites are still throwing their big ass Halloween party then thats probably a good place to start since that thing is going to be huge. Which means if were going everyone is going to first need a costume.” Leech and the rest of the former monsters stood in the center of town finally making it out of the house.
“Yeah one, none of us were invited and two, theres going to be nothing left in the stores. Except the sexy stuff and there is no way im going as sexy thing that should never be made sexy…maybe Jingles will though that seems like his wardrobe of choice.” Freddy grumbled keeping a firm grasp on the poor overwhelmed Prince Vlad.
“Well sorry for being too tall to fit into your clothes which are made for small women” Robert sneered at the former dream demon. He was getting strange looks left and right for his overly tight pants/ pink bathrobe combo. Leech took note of it when a few girls stopped and stared while giggling amongst themselves. The ex vampire grabbed her mate’s arm glaring daggers at the women. Robert put two and two together and shot her an amused smile “Really?” he asked her. “We need to get you some real clothes” she grumbled.
“How are we getting into this party then if we weren’t invited?” Uncle Penny interrupted them. “We’re not exactly equipped for sneaking in and out of places anymore.”
“Crashing will be easy, its taking on an all powerful being as humans that will be extremely difficult.” Leech stated. she had crashed many a party in her teens when she used to deal pot to rich kids getting in wouldnt be a problem.
“And what are we gonna do when we catch the twerp? Shake and yell?” the older eldritch asked.
“I have a feeling rattling his brains and screaming at him is probably a bad way to appease the god of Halloween to change us back” Freddy added.
“Well I’m not saying I’m sorry” Robert growled. There was no way he was going to beg some young pagan god to forgive him.
“You do realise as humans we can die now right? You better fucking say youre sorry Bob” his mate scolded him.
“Seriously Jingles what if were stuck like this for a whole year?” freddy added realizing the entire monster population depended on the proudest thing in existence to admit he fucked up. They were doomed.
“I do not beg.”
“Ha! That’s a load bullshit! I’ve heard it!” Leech laughed.
“Leech! that’s….thats different…” Robert hissed
“we’ve all heard it Jingles anyone with a drain has heard it at some point.”
The former clown looked off to the side and grumbled something unintelligble.
“All right look, we need to hurry up and get something for us to wear to this thing. I’ll take the clowns. Freddy you try to handle your roommate.”
“Good luck with that.” Uncle Penny said eyeing the frantic looking prince.
“Just call me when he eventually breaks something” Leech grabbed the eldritchs and made her way to the nearest store.
—————-
“Robert what the hell is that?” both Leech and “Uncle Bob” as he decided to call himself, stared at Robert Gray in confusion as he exited a near by restroom
“You said buy a costume.”
“Ok but I thought youd get another clown costume why the hell are you Spiderman?” his mate placed her fingers over her temples. Of course hed pick out something like this.
“I’m a giant spider trapped as a man I thought it was fitting.”
“Yeah but I’m going as a ring master and…..you know what never mind, fuck me for trying” leech groaned it was hard enough to control two eldritch horrors in a crowded Halloween store already, trying to coordinate anything was off the table at this point.
“I’m going as the devil!” Uncle Bob announced proudly pointing to his horns.
“Yeah Im pretty sure Phil is not going to be too excited about that.”
“Ah fuck Phil. He thinks hes hot shit with his whole goat yoga scheme right now. This is how a real lure is done!” the former clown gestured to the red and black suit he was wearing smugly.
“Did you…put paint…on your face?” Leech sniffed the air, it reeked of paint fumes.
“Yeah! Spray paint! It burns a little but man do I look good!”
“I think the fumes are going to your head old man” Robert folded his long arms over the spider logo on his chest.
“Jesus christ neither of you would survive a day as humans without my help.” Leech grumbled as the clowns began to argue once again. She ignored the inevitable chaos and got out her phone groaning loudly over the 6 missed calls from Freddy. No doubt they were about something Dracula had done. Robert yellped when Uncle Bob whacked him on the head with his plastic pitch fork. Leech debated taking a photo of them for later blackmail but decided she should probably find out what the hell happened to Freddy first. As she was about to call him back she doubled over in pain. Something just went wrong in her abdomen. Something she’d never thought she’d feel again.
------------
OH NOOOO what ever could it beee! Poor Leech she’s had to put up with so much today. Penny better try to make it up to her.
#pennywise#pennywise x oc#it fanfiction#pennywise fanfiction#horror fanfiction#slasher fanfiction#slashers#freddy krueger#1990s pennywise#papawise#papa penny#robert gray x oc
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hey. all of the qs from the ask meme that apply to you. have fun
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
oh boy well with my dad most certainly not theres a lot situations where its been made obvious that im not the son he wanted but he’ll still use me as an example to show to my lil bro and also like theres a lot of cockiness too and with my mom i love her and i know she loves and supports me but a lot of that is because im her daughter and id say id have a decent relationship with my mom and i do love her
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
lmao it was you
03: Do you regret anything?
oooooooooooooooooo boi man i been thinking and like ive thought about if ive regretted ever being friends with angie and id like to say that i dont cause shes done a lot and shes given a lot to me whether it be good or bad and ive grown a lot from it and i think that if i completely erased that then i wouldnt be able to work through the things i have and like in other aspects i regret not saying “i think youre cute” to movie girl and knott’s info boy like my goodness they were both so damn cute and i really shoulda said something
04: Are you insecure?
hell yeah i am
05: What is your relationship status?
single right now and i do want to eventually date someone and have that sort of closeness and that sort of relationship where i can feel at peace and rely on someone but i honest to goodness don’t think there’s anyone for me just yet and i don’t think im in a place really to be dating anyone cause i need to resolve things before i try to start something new
06: How do you want to die?
oh man duuude okay so when we read granny weatherall i legit like had a breakdown and i started panicking cause i started thinking about death all of a sudden and like there are situations where ive considered suicide and all but like there are also the times where it feels like its looming over me so much and like i get so so scared like im scared to walk down the pier at the beach at night because it so dark and the point where you look out onto the horizon and the horizon no longer exists and and its just a void and its so dark and like i think thats how i wanna die just im walking out on the pier at midnight and just im swallowed up because i think in the last moments i think i should just confront it
07: What did you last eat?
i had these hawaiian shortbread cookies that are so dang good like mmmmmmmmmmmm
08: Played any sports?
man i used to do tennis and swimming and i would love to go back to it
09: Do you bite your nails?
nah
10: When was your last physical fight?
like one where someone was genuinely hurt? like an hour ago and it was with the ground cause i got flung off my skateboard but for real i think my last physical fight was like kinder
11: Do you like someone?
skdjashjdkashd i doooo and i should noottttt and theres a lot of things i already know that its kinda like the crush is coming from the fact that there was a lot of support and general niceness and a whooollle lot of other reasons why i should not and im looking forward to the day when this goes away
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
my goodness i have and i died
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
hmm i do but i forgot who it was
14: Do you miss someone?
yeah i kinda miss my old self but for real i really miss my cousin lynnette like i havent seen her for like two years and i really needa hang out with her eventually
15: Have any pets?
dang i wish
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
at the moment? p distressed and very in my own head like i really need a break from a lot of other things but i also need a break from myself oh! ill show you my art project that were doing later when i finish it cause like we ended up havign to do an extreme emotion self portrait of how we feel at this point in time and like its hilarious cause ppl pass by it and theyre like “dude are you okay like just looking at that makes me feel bad”
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
dkjasdh i have not but i lowkey wanna just cause
18: Are you scared of spiders?
uH YEAh
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
i would i would and if it was to relive a memory definitely if it was to redo something over differently most definitely if it was to reexperience something wihtout changing something then uh no
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
hhhhhhh oh my goodness lowkey embarrassed to say it cause weve talked about places to snog a while ago and like the last time i did was like in the bushes in the sculpture garden
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
maybe working on the death of a salesman project maybe just getting some rest im really not sure im literally living day to day at this point
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
pfft man i do not wanna have any kids like at all
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
i got two but theyve closed up already since i dont use em
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
art, a bit of dabbling in math, and then also psych like i lvoed the fuck outta that class
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
oh yeah definitely and i think about her a lot i definitely miss meleana and sometimes ill go out and theres a souvenir shop and ill look at the best friend necklaces cause she always got one for us and like i have a box just full of all the halved best friend necklaces and i wonder a lot what would have happened had we still kept contact she was a big gateway to a lot of things in my life
26: What are you craving right now?
mmm some damn relief but for real tho i want someone to run their hands through my hair and pet it and all like any of the daydreams i have are usually centered around my new haircut
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i? dont? think? so? theres like only one of two people i know of who like ever liked me and that was jolin (the other one is this sophomore from my art class last year)
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
lol no
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
wish i could even get a date
30: What’s irritating you right now?
well i brought up the other ones in our chat and those are the main ones currently so
31: Does somebody love you?
yeah and i think in a lot of situations whether theyre friends or fam im being put on the weird pedestal
32: What is your favourite color?
OH OH OH ITS CERULEAN BLUE LIKE I KNOW ITS REAL SPECIFIC BUT LIKE THAT THAT BLUE IS SO GOOD LIKE EVERY TIME I SEE IT IN PUBLIC MY CHEST SWELLS UP AND MY LUNGS FEEL SO COLD AND THE AIR FEELS REALLY NICE AND LIKE MAN I LOVE THAT BLUE
33: Do you have trust issues?
lol yeah and in the process ive lied a lot and ive gotten so good at lying that sometimes i forget i am lying and the lines between whats truth or not get all blurry (i legit did not mean for that to come off as tumblr-esque as it did)
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
it was me just kinda floating in random space and then i was in a white room with no walls no doors no windows and i just walked around in this open blank space
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
hhhh mrs quiggle
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
sometimes i think i do
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
haH hAH HAH haaa.......no
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
uh i believe 13 oh wait no scratch that i was like 8
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
i needed to get the laundry so...
51: Favourite food?
prolly ramen oh or loco moco cause its so good
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
mmm i think id say i do
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
i was working on my entry for the lawyer firm art contest
54: Is cheating ever okay?
hell no
55: Are you mean?
i think so cruel even just cause i know so much and i think people who know and understand and think so much are in general dangerous cause they calculate their actions and sometimes that scares me cause i cant tell if im doing it on purpose or not but just in general yeah im mean like too many shits are just not given
56: How many people have you fist fought?
like? uh? i think maybe two and both times were when i was like 8 or 9
57: Do you believe in true love?
mmm i do i do and i think a lot of that true love stems from a relationship based on communication, honesty, trust, and a really good friendship as a foundation
58: Favourite weather?
oooOOOOOO okay so do you remember that one time it was raining hard as fuck like sophomore year like i know its real vague but it was legit pouring and like it was actually so bad that everyone adn i mean everyone went into the library to get some form of shelter and there were people who were soaked to the bone and peoples umbrellas were getting broken cause it was so cold rainy and windy like that that kinda weather is my fave
59: Do you like the snow?
uh i think i do?
60: Do you wanna get married?
hell yeah
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
mmmm i get a lil weird on that but i think some of my favorite ones are like being called “love” like “whats going on love” or “you look good today love” like mmm i eat that shit up
62: What makes you happy?
man legend of zelda is makign me so damn happy rn like it legit means so damn much to me adn like theres so much i lvoe about it and i just lvoe talking about it and anything about it in general and like also skateboarding has been making me real happy lately like ive never loved getting hurt more and like that sounds really bad and like my left knee’s nerves are totally shot cause i fell straight on it and messed it up cause i was skating but like theres just soemthing about feeling more within my own body because im gettin some form of physical activity adn im getting hurt adn its like its a reality in its own way and like i really love it and i super love when i get to cruise like it feels so damn esp with my hair now and also what makes me happy is the ppl i find cute every now and then like its genuinely such a nice experience and oh oh i just wanted to talk about it jsut cause but like whenever i get a crush i get real excited and real happy cause like i love getting them gifts and seeing the surprise and the happiness on their faces cause its like oh you thought of me and oh its somehting i really love and like it makes them happy for that glimpse of a moment and like i love talking to them and like when they tell me about things they like or their passionate about its so nice to hear cause its like yes yes yes i support you and i love you i love seeing you happy and like just seeing your brightens my day and like even if i do confess and i do get rejected ive been mroe than lucky cause its like the people i have confessed to have been so gentle with the rejection and so kind with it and its like oh no!! like yes im sad that we couldnt be more but like thank you!!! thank you so much for letting me love you adn letting me give you so much thank you for brightening my days up and lettign me see your smiles and hear your laughs like thank you so much im so glad i could crush on you and like thats another thing that makes me happy and like theres probably a lot more that i could talk about but i think ill leave at that for now
63: Would you change your name?
i been actually thinking about it for a while adn in the times that i have considered it i usually use a game with the customizable name to try it out and like at some point i used Elle and then i tried Lynn and like i dunno im really not too sure and maybe if other names come in the future ill test those out cause truly it doesnt feel like my name is my own
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
mm yeah id think so cause theres stuff we were supposed to talk about that we didnt and uhh yeah
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
say “thanks im really flattered but i really dont think im in a place right now where i should get into a relationship”
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
lmao no
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
uhh the guy at the receptionist desk when i went in to submit my entry for the art contest
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
lol if what we talked about wasnt deep and it wasnt you then itd be mrs quiggle
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
fuck yeah
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
i dont think so like i wouldnt even die for myself
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