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snowbellewells · 4 years

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Self Promo Sunday: “Heart in Hand, I Know Your Worth”

In the aftermath of that doozy of a two hour midseason finale back in season four, I had all kinds of ideas rolling around in my head for all the other ways that Killian’s heart being taken could have played out, along with how Emma fighting to get his heart back could have gotten more time. I still don't own these two characters, or anything related to the show, but if i did we probably would have seen a powerful True Love's Kiss all the way back here. {Canon divergence in the midst of 4x11}

Also on AO3 or ff.net

"Heart in Hand, I Know Your Worth"

by: @snowbellewells

This cannot be real, cannot be happening again. Another man she loves – yes, loves – falling to the cold, hard floor of the Sheriff's station, clutching his chest, mouth gaping in a struggle for breath, eyes already going half-glassy from their usually crisp, brilliant blue.

"Killian!" Emma chokes, falling to his side and reaching for him, forcing herself not to scream. His body stretches out before her limply, looking too much like Graham's had nearly three years ago, too much like the horrifying death pose seared into her mind's eye, no matter how much time has passed. She wants to ask what is wrong, but is petrified that she doesn't need to; she knows exactly what is happening to her pirate. There had been nothing she could do when she was in this position before, and this is so much worse, so much more desperately necessary.

As she reaches out to shake Killian, gripping his shoulders with frantic hands, begging him to stay with her, stay awake, her eyes fall on the shoelace wrapped around her wrist – her reminder of the gentle, kind man who had died in her arms in this same station – and tears well over her eyelids, spilling down her cheeks to fall on Killian's paling face. Those lovely, kissable lips that have always been so soft and tenderly coaxing on hers are open, panting, as he struggles to form her name, his one good hand clasping hers to pull her closer where she can hear his desperately whispered words. "Em-Emma…Love, I'm sorry…I k-know I promised…you d-didn't have to w-worry…I m-may not be as g-good at…surviving…as I p-promised. The Crocodile…has m-made sure of it…this time…"

Emma can feel her brow furrowing, leaning nearer and clutching at the material of his black vest, as if to lug him up off the floor and back into the fight for life. "Hey," she whispers hoarsely near his ear, wanting to shake him as she sees his eyes fluttering closed despite his best efforts. "Killian, hey, stay with me."

His stunning eyes labor to open again, trying to focus on her, though it is obviously an uphill battle. His breath is rattling harshly, bringing sympathetic pain to Emma's throat as he continues to fight for air. Her hand presses warmly to his chest, wishing she could hold the missing heart in place, even though she is too late.

Tears are pouring, slip-sliding down her cheeks, and Emma knows the pain clenching in her gut is only going to get worse if she cannot stop this. She knows Killian has done the best he can to be with her, to become a better man for her, but all she can think is, 'You promised! You promised you'd stay if I let you in. I can't lose you too!'

She finds herself fisting her hand and pounding it against his chest repeatedly, despite her worry for him; she has to let out the hurt and fear. Her forehead falls to rest against the warm, furred skin of his chest, his ridiculously still-open shirt, allowing the blessing of his living comfort a bit longer. It is going to be taken away, he is going to leave her, and all because some power-hungry imp wants her magic as well and to settle an old grudge. All Killian has done to change. All he has given up to protect her is illustrated in his dying form sprawled before her. He has sacrificed the very heart in his chest just to warn her, in hopes of seeing her still alive and unharmed.

"Why didn't you tell me, Killian? Let me try to help you? We could have figured this out together." She whispers the words tearfully against his neck, into his skin. She wants answers, knows she will debate and wonder and wish from now on – why he didn't feel he could come to her, why she had taken so long to trust him, why she hadn't let him know how much she truly felt for him, that she had done something, anything, different to avoid him suffering this fate. Beyond that though, she wants to hear him, savor his voice, the cozy, affectionate burr of it as it thaws her long-cold heart.

Killian manages to draw yet one more ragged, shaky breath to respond. "How…could I…Love? What would…you have…thought of me…if I had?" He clumsily manages to snag her wrist and pull that hand to lie along his cheek, turning his face into her touch. "Besides…though I do not…wish to…leave you…I will gladly go…before I see…that monster…take you from me."

His eyes drift closed again, his struggle for breath eases, and Emma feels his body relax against hers. Praying he isn't gone already, a strangled scream finally escapes her when he doesn't respond to her further touches. "Killian, no! Please!"

"I'm afraid you're wasting your breath, Dearie," a taunting voice chortles evilly behind her. A chill runs down Emma's spine before anger floods her, rushing into every space where she could feel fear. Her head whips around to glare over her shoulder at Gold, every fiber of her burning to blast the smug, victoriously gloating smile off his face.

Letting that emotion swell, Emma gathers her feet under her, shifting to stand and face Killian's Crocodile. As if he senses the risk she is about to take, the way she is letting her fury overrule her caution, her pirate tries to pull her back, though too weakened to truly hold her. "Don't, Swan! I'm not worth your crossing him!"

Emma shakes her head angrily, wanting to argue with him that he is more than worth it, but she doesn't want him expending any more of his desperately needed breath. Instead, she pulls her hand from his slackening grip and completes her stand to face Gold. Literally vibrating, rage sparks and begins to tingle under her skin and through her veins. "I am not letting you do this," she grits out between clenched teeth, eyes narrowed and tone practically a growl.

"Please do try to stop me, Miss Swan," the pawnbroker, who is more and more Dark One all the time, challenges, the thin veneer of polite civility no longer masking the hatred beneath the surface. He stands before them, hands resting atop the head of his ornate cane, feet planted, stance wide. "I do intend to put an end to this wretched pirate's life once and for all, as I should have done ages ago, and then I shall have your powers before I go."

Emma doesn't answer, but focuses instead on the advice, the incantation that Regina had given her to combat their now-common enemy. She had needed him present before she could attempt her counterattack, and now that he is, she can't afford mistakes. Closing her eyes, and quickly raising her hands up and outward towards the spinner, Emma tries to whisper the correct words, while concentrating on Killian, his love for her and how she cannot do without him, how much she needs him, and what she hopes to accomplish, all before Rumplestiltskin reacts and stops her.

The air around them whooshes with magic, as a raw burst of power seems to roll out from between she and Gold, then fades again. There is an eerie silence for mere moments, before Emma feels a separate, living pulse in her hand. She opens her eyes with almost breathless hope, and there within her careful grasp is Killian's beating heart, glowing brightly red.

Her glare flicks back to the Crocodile, even as she casts a protection spell over Killian's heart, much like the one Regina protected Henry's with after getting it back from Pan. Once she returns it to his chest, they will not suffer this again, not while she draws breath.

Gold lets out a bloodcurdling giggle, which sounds frighteningly mad rather than the least bit humored. It is as though her strike against him was an invitation to a deadly game. He throws his hands forward in what Emma is sure will be a horrific curse. Before it can reach them, she has created a shield and thrown it up in front of them. She sees a ripple in the translucent barrier before her eyes, but her spell holds, keeping whatever the Dark One has attempted to strike them with at bay.

"All to save that miserable cur's hide!" Gold howls with rage. "You will regret this!" He waves his hand wildly, and then vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Once sure that he is gone, Emma falls to her knees at Killian's side again, letting the shield fall and focusing all her energy and attention on this reckless, infuriating, incredible man, having to believe he still has a chance. She runs her hand back through the dark shock of hair that has fallen across his brow, stroking trembling fingers over his forehead and cheeks, then down to his neck, hoping for a pulse. The exertion flagging from expending so much magic, the fear and anxiety, and now the frantic need to bring Killian back around, are taking their toll, but she cannot falter now.

Holding Killian's heart gingerly in her palm, barely using any pressure with her fingers, Emma moves it to hover above the area of his chest where it belongs. Killian barely stirs, and Emma knows there isn't time to waste. There has already been too much torture – squeezing, manhandling, whatever else Gold has done to it – but uncertainty makes her hesitate. Could she finish him off if she gets this wrong?

Breathily, the barest words escape his lips, soft and low, but enough to give her the push she needs. His chest barely rises and falls, but Killian manages to force the words out, "You…can do this…Emma. I…trust you…"

She nods, setting her resolve, and then without any further lingering, plunges her hand and his beating heart into his chest cavity. Praying it will be enough, Emma releases the organ and withdraws her hand, willing things to return to the way they were before it was taken. Sitting back on her haunches, Emma watches his face tensely for some sign.

Endless, stretching minutes seem to drag on before Killian suddenly lunges forward, drawing in huge gulps of air, eyes frantically wide. She quickly reaches around him, hand supporting at his back though she can feel herself trembling with relief and emotion. She wants to ask a dozen things at once, but Emma bits them all back, trying to first let him regain his bearings.

When Killian finally blinks and looks to her with recognition once more in his haunting gaze, Emma swallows a sob and can't help leaning forward, half wrapping him up and cradling him in her arms and half falling into his. Soon, she is letting her eyes fall closed, a sigh escaping her lips as her adrenaline drains and the curve of Killian's hook rubs soothingly up and down her back, his voice warm in her ear. "There now, Love. I'm still here…thanks to you. Bloody brilliant you are, Swan."

Sniffling, Emma nods into his shoulder, burrowing closer to his warmth, craving the contact. "You can't do that to me, Killian," she chokes out. "If you think I don't need you, that I'll be fine whether you're here or not, you're wrong. You are worth it. You mean more to me than anyone outside of Henry." She leans back only slightly to look into his eyes and be sure that he sees how seriously she means her words.

Her pirate captain appears to have no ready response to her admission, but the volumes in his eyes show how overcome he is as she watches him swallow hard, mastering his own churning emotion. "You must know you mean everything to me as well, Emma. We might have to agree to disagree on my worth." He wets his lips, gaze tentative under his dark brows as he studies her face. "You retrieved my heart. You defeated the bloody Crocodile! …But you took quite the risk, Love. A risk I would not have had you take merely for my benefit. Are you alright?"

A laugh escapes her that is tear-soaked and a bit hysterical, but real, and she clasps his hand firmly. "I am now, Captain," she avows. "Let's keep that heart of yours in your chest from now on, and things should be just fine."

His roughly calloused fingers rise to delicately brush a flyaway strand of golden hair from her cheek and tuck it behind her ear, and then he lets his hand linger to frame her face with his palm. "What a beautiful avenging angel you make, Swan. I would never have thought a princess would be fighting to save me." Leaning forward, Killian pauses only when his nose brushes hers, warm puffs of his breath heating her skin. "Truly, Lass…You are a marvel."

Emma shakes her head, flushing and embarrassed at the effusive praise. "Enough of your pretty words, Sailor," she mutters, even if good naturedly. Standing, she never breaks her connection to him at their entwined hands, but instead pulls him rather shakily to his feet. "Come on, let's not hang around here like sitting ducks. Gold isn't finished, just regrouping. And I want Regina to have a look at you; make sure things are okay with your heart now."

Killian dips his head in acquiescence, his gaze not leaving hers, as though searching to see if she has recovered, despite his being the one who was in danger. "As you wish," he murmurs, moving to the coat rack and holding her red leather jacket out for her as she slips her arms into the sleeves.

She smiles at him over her shoulder, the tears still shimmering on her lashes, but a pride and happiness beginning to sparkle in her green eyes. They cross the room before Emma turns out the lights and locks the station for the night. Moving towards her little yellow car, Emma suddenly pulls him up short, holding him with her stare. "I should have told you this much sooner," she whispers, her voice suspiciously raspy, "but I love you, Killian Jones. Whatever happens from here on, no matter what either of us do…I love you. And don't you forget it."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Emma drags Killian's face down to kiss him urgently; swallowing his 'I love you too'. She already knows. Has seen it in all he has given up for her, has felt it in every hopeful, guiding, sheltering touch, and has heard it in every endearment and 'as you wish'. His hand and hook come up around her back to hold her, and he sighs into her kiss in contentment.

When they do part, Emma sees the peace and fulfillment on his face as she pulls him along rather than relinquishing her hold of his hand; her heart swells at not letting go.

Tagging: @searchingwardrobes @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @laschatzi @lfh1226-linda @hollyethecurious @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @jennjenn615 @therooksshiningknight @winterbaby89 @stahlop @thislassishooked @winterbaby89 @tiganasummertree @optomisticgirl @shireness-says @thisonesatellite @darkcolinodonorgasm @profdanglaisstuff

#self promo sunday #cs ff #cs oneshot #canon divergence from 4x11

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Jake Reviews Amphibia: Handy Anne and Fort in the Road

It’s finally here... the second time i’ve said that in three days but hey, Amphibia is back! After a years hiatus due to the show being shoved out in a month to get it on disney plus faster (Yet they STILL don’t have wonder over yonder so I can finally watch season 2. God damn. ), one of the best new shows of a year stuffed with them is back! I was excited about this one from the start. A great premise, a gravity falls pedegriee, and the wonderful Brenda Song, who I had a crush on when I was younger despite not really watching the first suite life that much, though I will admit what I saw was pretty decent and had a wonderful cast especially song and Phil Morris as Mr.Mosby.. it was just overshadowed by i’ts two leads being really sterotypical (the cool but dumb hustler and the stick in the mud nerd) and I was more of a nick middle schooler anyway so I barely touched it. Granted if I could go back in time and trade which shows I watched i’d trade it for Zoey 101 in a heartbeat, another show with awful leads but the rest of the main cast was really good concidentally.

Anyways I did watch more of on deck to kill time and absolutley hated it. Seroiulsy the show really sucks: Zack and Cody were turned into basically worse versions of Zack Morris and Ross Gellar, worse because while their just as douchey as those two, Mark Paul Gossler and David Schiwmer can actually act and Cole Sprouse could not yet. I do say yet since Cole Sprouse has grown because he wasn’t half bad in the one season of riverdale I watched. Riverdale, what happens when you have the entire writers room snort a line of coke and then tell them to write the most insane archie fanfiction they can and stitch the results together. Just with Archie alone from what i’ve seen in read he’s started a vigilante posse ala homer simpson, nearly joined hte mafia, been framed form murder, had the local cheerleaders do a number for him while he played prison football, escaped prison to hide in canda from both his former mafia boss whose also his girlfriend’s dad and the cult based on a DnD knockoff, got mauled by a bear and LIVED, and now is a superhero apparently. WHy I haven’t gone back to at the very least review this clusterfuck is a mystery. But the point is the twins were really terrible at the time, and if the fact Dylan’s only major role recently is in the sequel to After, that film based on self insert one direction fanfiction, which somehow got a sequel while Birds of Prey probably won’t because god really does hate me. So it was bad and she deserved better, got better with the social network but hadn’t done much i’d seen, so a new cartoon starting her in her elment and in a great show for once had me pumped. And.. my faith paid off. The show is beautifully animated, ahs a wonderfully morbid and fully fleshed out world, top notch voice acting (including BIll Farmer who is so unreconizable as hop pop I thought he was voiced by charlie addler), great jokes, action and storytelling. Just a slam dunk that left be jonesning for me. And now in one of the best weeks for animation in a while, more is here. I do mean that: 3/4 of disney’s major animated shows returning and close enough finally airing it’s a good time. When we last left our heroes: Hop Pop buired the box that brought anne there and lied to her about it which even a year later I think is a terrible decision.. one made for understandable reasons as he clearly knows something more about it than she does, but one that’s bound ot backfire whens he finds out her new grandpa lied to her and betrayed her. The plantars also spent the season preparing to leave wartwood. Soon after, Anne was forced to finally stand up to her manipulative, if to my utter shock still caring about her and possibly being into her? I mean it’s not like I haven’t seen the “villian whose overcompensating for a terrible past and likes manipualting people redeemed and ending up smooching the somewhat reckless but good hearted heroine” before.

Anyways Sasha ends up nearly falling off a giant tower, Anne tries to save her, with the rest of her new family pitching in, and Sasha, realizing just how terrible she’s been just.. let’s her self fall, only saved because Grime caught her. And just remembering that sequence god dman.. the fact they actually got the rights to lean on me for it really dosen’t help. But the day was saved and while Anne had a huge bundle of trauma, the family was ready to finally set out soon. And now a year later i’ts time. Now i’ve gotten all the personal stuff out of the way, let’s hop to it and see what the new season has to offer. Full review with spoilers under the cut!

Handy Anne

So the Plantars are finally setting off. We don’t touch on the Sasha thing much, just a quick bit at the begining to show that while Anne is insiting she’s fine it really traumatized her. I do like kids shows starting to show more that sometimes heroes just DON’T bounce back after something like this, especially young ones. While it’ isn’t nearly to the extent of Steven Universe spending an entire season having his lack of thearpy and unresolved issues slowly destroy him, it’s still nice to see. But the main thrust of the episode is it’s vacation time brother!

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Yup after a few episodes of build up last season with the valley clear, Hop Pop has bought a suprisingly nice and affordable wagon (As Polly excitedly explains someone died in it) so they can finally set out to hopefully find Anne a way home. Their going to Oregon! I mean To newtopia, the beating heart of Amphibia: a bustling metroplis built on knowledge where they can hopefully find a way to get Anne and friends back home, while Anne hopes to find Marcy. The rest of the kids are also excited just to get out of the valley for the first time. Everyone’s pumped.. but Anne starts to worry when she finds out Hop Pop has asked his friend Chuck, the “I grow tulips” guy from the bug ball episode last season who I forgot about but was reminded why I love him and am glad to have him back, to watch the house as given Amphibia is hard enough to surivive on a good day, let alone if your a stationary building. And Chuck dosen’t insprie confidence so Anne decides to fortify the house. And her reasoning.. is actually really sweet and shows how much she’s grown: Instead of like most times where her impulsivness is the reason shenanigans and life thretaning situations happen here.. she’s hit with the hard relization her new family is basically risking everything, their home, their farm, their chuck, to help her get home.

So Anne decides to armor up the house, getting a fuck ton of shovels and a ton of suplies from the blacksmith guy who suprisngly for once DOES have what she needs for her veggies, to the point his not backtracking weirds anne out, and gives her a tub of goo. This can only end well! Meanwile the rest of the family pack. Polly having maybe 3 possesions gets done quick, Hop Pop is being anal reteitive as always with his ascots (hilariously done and Bill Farmer really is the MVP of this series), while Sprig’s gone half insane just picking out which slingshot to take as he never left, which polly of course exploits. But things natrually go wrong as the goo creates veggie monsters the family fights (with sprig even calling fight time because this is normal to them at this point) the next mornign and then one colosus that destroys the house... and Anne’s anger and heartbreak over it .. awakens something. See something I hadn’t heard about and didn’t notice at the ebgining of the series was anne’s eyes flashing blue while fighting the mantis in the first episode. Many couldn’t tell if it was leading somewhere or just an animation error. Here though her eyes go bright blue in close up with it being clear this is part of her.. the question what is it and why? Just what power does she have now? And will it save the world or destroy it? Questions for later Anne saves the day, an admits she screwed up but Hop Pop is understanding: He’s touched by her actions but also explains their not just doing this for her: their with her all the way and any sacrifice is worth it. And I like that part of hop pop: while he can be overbearing, just see next episode.. he does genuinely mean well and has genuine wisdom, something they sometimes forget with grandparent characters in animation. He’s crotchety and a stick in the mud, but he’s still throughly nice and understanding and it shows here: He’s going to get his daughter back whatever it takes.. almost. Hop Pop calls on chuck who in a whilrwind of tools and tulips fixes the place.. and proves to be every bit the legend I thought him. He sells tulips and he’s great. We’ll miss you chuck. But as they get ready to leave Anne brings up the box and Hop Pop, remembering what he did, hastily says it’s better with their contacts. WHich again just seems short sided: while he is trying to protect her, especially since next episode confirms there was some sort of apocalypse once so odds are her being connected to it might not be the best, he can’t dance around her connection to it forever, and hiding the fact some apolcaypse was caused by it is only going to backfire when some vilian reveals it or anne finds it out for herself. Taking her to a place full of infomration where he’ll now have to work to hide the truth is just asking for this to backfire. Not bringing it is one thing, dangerous people could still get the box and use it for their own ends.. we’ve seen female newt sabertooth in the promos and we’ve met Grime. But not telling her is just setitng himself up for a big and deeserved fall soon. But with that settled our heroes set out!

Final Thoughts I: Overall this was a good start to the season: my one real complaint is the town didn’t really see them off or anything, so the large and loveable supporting cast is just.. absent unless the series returns to wartwood at some point and it would’ve been nice to see them once last time. Even star vs, as bad as season 3 was, knew we wouldn’t be seeing most of the earth cast for a whie and had marco have a meaningful sendoff before he left. But.. given how tight the phacing seems to be this season judging by episode titles alone, and they only had 11 minutes here. I do think it could’ve been in hte next episode, but it dosen’t ruin a decent, fun start to the season really rooted in character stuff. Not the series finest 11 minutes, but still really good and a good way to start us off.

Fort in the Road:

First off your welcome for that episode screencap. Now this one’s also simple, but ends up having a rather sizeable revelation nestled inside. The Plantars are going down the road and while the kids want to you know explore, see places, actually enjoy the trip especailly since Sprig and Polly have never been anywhere else before, Hop Pop, being hop pop, instead just wants them to sit and be quite and follow his rules. I mean it is hte grind but you can at least make it FUN for htem; Just look at this guy.

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It took an episode longer than I thought to refrence the trail to oregon given this season is about a wagon trip, but I’m glad to do it .. and do it again. I will fit pays to be an animal in here somewhere I swear it. WE’ve got time left in the road trip. Anyways this goes down terribly, though some rules like not posing dramatically as it smacks of hubris and never ends well. But understandably the kids are annoyed about it: Anne can’t even compallin because i’ts not in the rules. So naturally as Hop Pop should’ve seen coming at the first opprotuunity Anne fakes being cart sick and they run off to see a weird looking ruin with Hop Pop chasing them and leaving the cart to polly because that can’t end well but he’s on a short time. And this is where the season drops a 10 ton atomic bombshell. Anne being kinda magic in the last episode and it being fully part of things now is intresting and shocking.. but this is miles ahead of it and casts Hop Pop’s actions: Turns out whatever the clamamity box did set techniology in amphibia back to a little above the dark ages. I mean they have full light thanks to lightning bugs, but their still leagues behind.. but were once up to at least mid 2000′s levels of technology. The machine seen requires a disk to stop, but it’s still far beyond what I expcted from this world. Naturally Hop Pop shows up furious, then gets stuck on the assembly line with the kids deseprate to save him, with spirg ending up doing sow ith the rule book. Also we get Anne’s wonderful repsonse to Sprig asking what a disk is: “I don’t know! i’m from another dimension not the 90s!” They surivive, the factory blows up and the kids apologize and agree to go back to the boring way things have been going.. but Hop Pop thankfully realizes he’s been a bit overbearing and actually gives a good reason why: He’s never taken then out of the valley before and simply got overprotective. This is his family after all, all he has left of his kid and all he really has left beside Sylvia and the farm. It’s understandble he’d go a bit overboard. But Hop Pop decides to compromise a bit in a nice moment: while the impalment fields are obviously a non starter, he does get the kids ice cream (Anne even admits at this point she dosen’t pick the bugs out anymore), and they genuinely enjoy the trip while Sprig (in a hilarious bit of lampshadng as he does it repeadtly) wonders jsut what they were making.. and as I spoiled it was robots.. one of whom is now following them. Wether this means new doom or the plantars getting a new robot family member I don’t know i’m hoping for the latter. Everyone needs a vision in their life. Final thoughts II: While having a bit of an obvious conflict with an obvious resolution the character work combined with the MASSIVE plot bombshell really make this enjoyable and I hope to find out more about just what the hell happened and what these robots are for. Just another good solid episode and an excellent duo to start the season. Next week: Things take a turn for the western and Anne learns to hunt and more about the glow. And with the glow you need to grow to glow... until then i’ll likely have mor ereviews on this channel, I recently reveiwed all of season 1 of close enough if your curious, and until next time.. play us out Willie!

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I love what i’ve seen of this throughly stupid movie. Bye ya’ll!

#amphibia #handy anne #fort in the road #season 2 #brenda song #bill farmer #the suite life on deck #disney channel #disney xd #disney plus #anne boonchuy #hopidiah planter #sprig planter #polly planter #sasha #lord grime

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chaos-and-recover · 7 years

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ALL OF THE ASKS 🖤

EVERY TIME.

Alright let’s do this.

1: Favorite band?

AFI and/or July Talk

2: Favorite song?

Of all time? I think I realized recently that it is in fact Falling Slowly. The fact that I have like 7 different versions in my music library was a solid clue that I fucking love it.

3: What’s a band/artist you loved as a child but can barely listen to now?

My brother and I loved Kris Kross when we were little. That’s some cheeseball rap right there. Also when I was 12 I was super into Prodigy. But then, Firestarter is still a good fucking song.

4: Did you ever see a band/artist live?

Yes? A lot? Many times?

5: Are you going to any gigs soon?

I was supposed to go to Chicago next weekend to see my boys the Plain White T’s but they cancelled the show and I’m bummed.

I’m seeing Jimmy Eat World on December 5th and I’m stoked about it.

I’m also seeing July Talk three nights in a row on the 20th, 21st and 22nd because I have no self control and I love them.

6: Ever been to a festival?

Yes, several. I used to love them and now I’m too old for that shit and there’s too many of them and the bands are spread too thin and no one festival has enough bands I like to justify it lol.

8: A song with a number in the title?

Green Day - 21 Guns

9: A song that gets you through shit?

AFI - Narrative of Soul Against Soul

10: A good song for long bus rides?

Anberlin - Autobahn

11: A song you’d have sex to?

Take That - Pretty Things (I mean it’s kinda weird but uh I’m into it)

12: A song to shut everything out?

36 Crazyfists - Slit Wrist Theory (like 90% sure this song almost got me sent to therapy given how many times my 17 year old self blasted it)

13: A song for when you’re lonely?

The entire “Cities” album by Anberlin is my security blanket. I’ll saw The Unwinding Cable Car though.

14: A song that’s become a joke between you and your friends?

Jack’s Mannequin - Dark Blue ( @sinceubeenjon knows why)

15: A song to jam out to at 4AM?

The Used - The Taste Of Ink. Because it literally references 4:00 in the morning lol

16: An album you could listen to for days on end?

I’m pretty sure I did listen to Decemberunderground by AFI for days on end in 2006. And like… constantly ever since.

17: A song that punches you in the gut every single time?

Anberlin - Atonement. Fuuuuuuuck me :)

18: A song for when you’re crazy angry?

I wanna saw Slit Wrist Theory again but I’m also trying not to repeat songs so uhhhh The Used - Box Full Of Sharp Objects. I have a lot of angst apparently.

19: If you had to pick one song to represent what you’re feeling right now, what would it be?

It’s not actually Christmas but it is a holiday in the US and I have a cold so “It’s Christmas And I’m Sick” by MxPx. Honestly, I have nothing else. I have no feelings right now lol.

20: A song that calms you down?

The Used - Bllue & Yellow

21: A song that makes you feel alive?

Anberlin - Dismantle.Repair

22: A band with an insane fandom?

Are Twenty One Pilots fans still bonkers? That’s one. Or a certain segment of 1D fandom. You know the one (the Larries. Jesus christ people.)

23: What are some lyrics you love to pieces?

There are so many. Here are some of my favourites:

“It’s not about the money we makeIt’s about the passions that we ache forWhat makes your heart beat fasterTell me now what does your body long after?”-Time & Confusion by Anberlin

“And as the days go onThe love, the lust, the buzz that wasReduced to dust, could be becauseIt never was something moreThan just a void filling feeling”-FL,GA by The Rocket Summer

“I saw you every time I closed my eyesIn the Hughes film I had scored, produced and starred in in my mindI could recite you, well I’d written every lineBut you strayed far from the flawless script on which I’d spent a lifetime”-Veronica Sawyer Smokes by AFI

“I tried, but it rang and rang, I called all nightFrom a payphone, remember those? From another lifeIf everything I meant to youYou can’t lick and seal then fold in twoThen I’ve been so blind.”-Dizzy by Jimmy Eat World

“Let it out, let me in, take a hold of my handThere’s nothing like another soul that’s been cut up the sameAnd did you wanna drive without a word in between?I can understand, you need a minute to breatheAnd to sew up the seams after all this defeat.”-Handwritten by The Gaslight Anthem

I’m gonna stop there.

24: Would you ever get any song lyrics tattooed? If so which ones?

I have some! I have “Just point to the light that casts out the dark” from White Fireworks by The Rocket Summer in Bryce Avary’s handwriting and I’m pretty damn pleased with it. I’d probably get more. He also wrote “Be reckless, be bright” for me from The Rescuing Type that I wanna get done.

25: What’s a band/artist you’d addict your children to from an early age?

Kids? Gross. I’m gonna try to get my niece into some good shit. When is an appropriate age to get her into AFI?

26: A vocalist you love?

I’m perfectly neutral and rational about Davey Havok, tbh, I’ve never been extra about him a day in my life.

I also love me some Adam Lambert and have very strong opinions about him fronting Queen (they are all variations of “he’s great at it fight me.)

27: Has a band/artist ever inspired you to do something?

Yes, usually dumb shit, like travel across a country/continent/ocean to see them.

28: A band/artist you love but no longer exists?

MOTHERFUCKING ANBERLIN.

29: What was your favorite band/artist when you were 12?

The Backstreet Boys, lol.

30: A band/artist you can’t stand?

Twenty One goddamn Pilots. Also ask me how I feel about Metric some time. (I FUCKIN HATE METRIC.)

31: What’s your favorite genre?

I honestly don’t have one. The music I like is all over the goddamn map.

32: Can you play any instruments?

I played percussion for 6 years in school and was self-taught on bass, though I haven’t pulled mine out in literal years. (One day I’m gonna get it out again and learn Pink Eyes by AFI. It’s gonna happen.)

33: Do you sing?

Hahahahahahhahahaa not so anyone can hear me.

34: If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be?

I would Jordan Pundik from New Found Glory because I still maintain that he only has to sing like half of every song and the crowd does the rest.

35: Do you have a favorite piece of merch?

My current favourite merch item in the world is my 36 Crazyfists hoodie. It’s so soft, so warm, so comfy. My Anberlin carabiner has served me very well over the years too.

36: What’s the first album you ever bought with your own money?

I always tell people it was the first BSB album but it was actually a Raptors promo CD released ahead of their first season in the NBA. BSB just sounds more like it’s a real thing that existed.

37: Do you prefer buying physical copies of albums or do you download them on the internet?

Physical. Digital versions just… I don’t connect with them as well? I don’t know, I don’t feel like I really own them if I can’t touch ‘em.

38: CDs or vinyls?

Vinyl. Also, not to be a pedant, but the plural of vinyl is vinyl.

39: Do you play your music out loud or with headphones?

Headphones. Used to be out loud all the time back in the days of desktop computers when I’d be alone in a room on the computer and could do that without annoying everyone lol.

40: A band/artist a friend showed you?

I guess I can blame Raven for how much I love Eric Church, does that count?

41: A song that gives you the chills?

Anberlin - The Unwinding Cable Car, but like, a very specific recording of it. This one, in fact, starting at 3:08 when Stephen is singing the bridge and the crowd comes in with “this is the correlation between salvation and love” part completely unprompted and it builds up until he’s holding “heart” and we’re holding “dark” and it’s fucking magical and you know what’s not captured on the audio recording? The look on Christian’s goddamn face when that happened. That was a hell of a show.

42: A song to play at your funeral?

I mean, you could go ahead and play that version of Cable Car linked in the last answer because it’s probably what killed me anyway, but if you wanna be more cliche just bust out Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World.

43: A band/artist with amazing an instrumental but really bad lyrics?

I listened to BedLIGHT for BlueEYES for the first time in a few years the other day so um. Them. The lyrics have not held up super well but my GOD they’re catchy. (Although “But I guess I shouldn’t hat you you, in fact I oughtta thank you for helping me write this song / If this album tops the Billboard I think I’ll save the quarter to call you and let you know” from Too Late still fucking kills though.)

44: A love song?

Any love song? 200,000 by my sweet baby boy The Rocket Summer, it’s the cutest fucking song in the world.

45: A song you love to sing to yourself?

I don’t sing to myself, that’s embarrassing (it’s probably like, Raise Your Glass by Pink or something, though)

46: What do you listen to when you go for a run?

When I did run more often it was to movie soundtracks. 127 Hours had some really good running tunes. Also there’s a song on the Inception soundtrack that was perfect for a good sprint.

47: A song that represents a deserted city at night?

The Taste of Ink by The Used kinda gives me that feeling, I guess.

48: A wild song?

Wild? How about Wild by AFI, is that good enough lol.

49: An upbeat song with grim lyrics?

Motion City Soundtrack - Everything Is Alright.

50: What are some song titles you love?

Okay so I can’t really think of any but it took me until entirely too recently to realize that “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off” and “But It’s Better If You Do” by Panic! At The Disco fucking… they go together. They’re supposed to be read together. Years that took me. That album was my second most-played in iTunes and I didn’t… figure that out. I’m dumb as hell.

51: If your life ended today, what song would you chose to represent it?

One song, to represent my entire life? Hell if I know. Probably like, Tonight by NKOTB though, let’s be honest.

52: Can you give me a 5 song playlist on ___?

ON WHAT I NEED A TOPIC.

53: Do you listen to instrumental music?

Sometimes, sure.

54: Weirdest band/artist you know of?

Foxy Shazam were weird as hell. We put their album on at work years ago because the sticker… I can’t remember what the sticker compared them to now but it was a mix of bands that made us say “that can’t POSSIBLY be right” and then it was? (one of them was Queen, I remember that). They were fucking weirdos and I miss them TERRIBLY.

55: A song about drugs?

You know who I haven’t mentioned in this yet? Lucky Boys Confusion. They have a lot of songs about drugs. 40/80 comes to mind. What a jam. What a band.

56: A heart-wrenching song?

This might seem like an odd choice but 11.24.11 by 36 Crazyfists. It goes hard as hell but then “don’t plan to live forever but I wanted her to,” and it’s about his mother, it just fucking wrecks me.

57: A band/artist you’re proud of?

July Talk. They deserve to be bigger but they’re doing so well and I’m so proud of them and if they were any bigger I would absolutely be insufferable about it.

58: A band/artist who’s music could bring you back from the dead?

If I had been dead for like five years but you told me Lucky Boys Confusion were going on tour I would be up and at every single show in a snap, I want to see them again SO BADLY.

59: A band/artist with a sick aesthetic?

Listen, I fucking love July Talk’s black/white, light/dark, sweet/rough contrasting aesthetic. It is everything. It is so well-executed. Talk to me about the first album and how well they played into it. I love them. I love everything they choose to be. I FUCKING LOVE JULY TALK.

60: A song that has a lot of meaning to you?

Plain White T’s - Radios In Heaven is a bit of a thing for me.

#nikkihorrorxx #ALL THE ASKS #who's gonna read this nikki #this is so long #long post

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snowbellewells · 4 years

Text

Self Promo Sunday: Quietly Breaking, Breaking the Chains

We were having some conversation yesterday about how there could have been a lot more possibility for CS fic in the season six finale, particularly in Fiona’s little institution (right @darkcolinodonorgasm and @killian-whump ? ;) This isn’t exactly the sort of fic we were envisioning, but I was reminded that I had written this fic not long after the finale. There’s definitely more of Fiona and her asylum, more of Killian getting to play an active part in the heroics, and more CS than the finale gave us though. Anyway, one particular scene came to me and the rest of the story filled in around it. It goes canon divergent from where Killian and Charming are climbing down the beanstalk and in how Emma gets out of the Black Fairy's institution, but everything in canon up to that point still occurred. Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what you think!

"Quietly Breaking, Breaking the Chains"

i. down the rabbit hole

A wailing, screaming, shuddering panic whirled within her mind, clawing up her throat, churning in her gut. The dingy cinder block walls, never exuding safety or comfort, but at least a familiar boredom, were suddenly closing in on her, enough so that she wanted to shrink back into herself, but the one small bit of pride she had left refused to cower before the exultant face studying her, waiting for just that.

"What is it going to be, Dear?" the Mayor practically licked her lips, face moving once again from her strange preoccupation with the flames in the incinerator to the book in Emma's hands, to hold Emma's gaze one again. "If it truly is only a children's book, if it is hurting our son, it shouldn't be so difficult to simply rid us of it once and for all. Come now, you don't want to move backwards, be kept in here forever and never see Henry at all, do you?"

The older woman's voice was syrup-sweet, and she wore a look of knowing concern on her face, but it didn't lessen the tremor of alarm that ran through Emma. Fiona was dangerous. It had always seemed so, though Emma couldn't explain it. As long as she could remember, she had felt it; for as long as she had been in this place and endured the Mayor's patronizing visits. Fiona reached forward, as if to help Emma, to make the task easier, but as soon as those sharply manicured fingertips touched the worn leather of Henry's book, it was like an electric shock of realization ran through Emma. 'No! She can't!' her mind screamed, suddenly finding it imperative that the book of fairytales didn't burn.

Jerking away from the woman's grasp, desperate to save her son's prized possession, Emma stumbled, losing her balance and sending the heavy tome careening to the floor, pages flapping. With a slap, the book landed heavily, open to a page that showed a dark-haired man with kohl-lined blue eyes staring out at her, capturing Emma in a way she didn't understand. She bent to her knees, pulling the illustration closer as images flashed through her head so quickly she was overwhelmed. "Killian…" she whispered softly, certain at last that she knew the man in the picture, somehow. Her tentative, wistful fingers reached out to trace the sculpted features of this man dressed in leather, who inexplicably appeared to be a pirate on the high seas – at least they did until the Mayor's surprisingly strong grasp caught her wrist.

"Now, now, Dearie, let's not go through this again. You know as well as I that the people in there aren't real." Fiona moved to take the storybook from her, but Emma pushed it away, shielding it behind her own body.

"You can't!" she exclaimed, a surge of energy pulsing through her veins, feeling more herself and more alive than she could recall.

"I warned you of indulging these delusions again," Fiona purred. With a snap of her fingers, two burly orderlies appeared out of nowhere, seeming to materialize from the shadows of the room. Emma tensed to fight, but in her muscle-weakened, medication-blurred state, she didn't stand much of a chance, sadly not even remembering her magic. She got in a wicked kick at one and a punch which glanced off the meaty shoulder of the other, but soon they had her pinned and writhing helplessly in their grasp, holding her for Fiona as she stepped forward with a syringe in hand, malicious smile on her face.

Patting Emma's cheek in a way that made her skin crawl, though at the moment she was powerless to brush off, Fiona hissed right in her face, "Why must you fight me, Miss Swan? I will still have my way in the end, but now you will suffer instead of having your freedom to go in peace." She gave her two henchmen a nod, and their grip on Emma tightened further.

Emma bucked wildly, screaming her frustration, anger, and fear to the solid walls that only trapped her alarm and echoed it back, unheard by any who could help her. She kept struggling vainly, the beautiful blue gaze of the man in the book now in her head and her heart, begging her not to give up. But then she felt the needle's prick, and it took frighteningly little time for her body to numb and fail her. She was still aware, but unable to move at all when she was carried from the room and taken back to her cell on Fiona's cackled orders.

ii. up the beanstalk

As the beanstalk began to fall, Killian's gaze flew to his father-in-law, clinging with clenched jaw and determined grip to his side of the vine-y tower. The whole thing wobbled precariously, shaking and swaying back and forth in the breeze; it wasn't going to hold. Pirate and prince's eyes met across the green, knotted leaves and sprouts and both knew it without speaking. If the wrong sudden tilt or dip didn't cause a foot to slip loose and make them tumble, the whole thing was about to crash to the ground on its own.

Bile rose in Killian's throat, his heart racing painfully at the idea that this truly was the end; he wasn't going to make it back to Emma and Henry, or be there to help her in what she faced. He had been so rash, so foolish, and now Swan's father, his friend and rightful monarch, would pay the price for his recklessness as well. Swallowing down the sour despair and self-loathing, tightening his slipping grip, Killian searched frantically for another way down, a loophole, some chance to still save them – he was a survivor after all – when Dave called out to him over the ominous creaking from their wavering perch and the wind in their ears. "Do you still have the bean?"

Killian looked up at the other man's question, surprised, but plunged his hook more securely into its hold and put his hand in the inner pocket of his vest where he had stowed his plunder for safekeeping. "Aye," he affirmed, fingers closing around it tightly.

"Then toss it," Dave called, his voice strong and certain – a truly fearless leader, stopping just short of issuing a command, but forcing Killian to see the only way he hadn't wanted to consider. "You'll land in the portal and get back to her. What are you waiting for?"

Killian's throat closed even more tightly, forcing him to choke out his response and reveal just how much it cost him. "What? You expect me to just leave you here to die, when you're only in this spot because of my bloody daft idea?"

The Prince eyed him knowingly, his small smile cold comfort in the weighted moment. "I can't go with you, even if we could both hit the portal at a jump, not with this world crumbling to pieces. I can't leave Snow behind. If I fall, I fall. Honestly, I'd prefer that over cowering somewhere while the ground disintegrates beneath my feet."

Killian nodded, a short, tight bob of the head, acknowledging his agreement with Dave's words, but his jaw clenched tightly, still hating the option despite its sense. And yet, he didn't have time to waste. If he refused to use the bean, they were both lost; their effort for naught, and his Swan – his wife – would still be back in her world without them. He could feel her desperation thrumming under his breastbone, right beside his own heart, a part of him as surely as skin or sinew.

"Aye, of course you're right, Mate," he gritted through clenched teeth, readying himself as the beanstalk creaked and tilted wildly again, nearly shaking him loose too soon. "Here goes nothing."

Dave held his gaze for a long moment, as if cementing his determination and approval to his son-in-law for strength. "You'll make it, Pirate," he said solidly, a hint of their joking and long ago rivalry in his words. "Go take care of our girl. I'll be alright."

The pirate captain knew the other man was merely feigning casual bravery; that his survival of this tenuous situation was anything but certain, and yet he had no recourse. "I'll not stop until I am at her side," he vowed.

The prince smiled tensely, a nod of acceptance that needed no further discussion.

Without another moment's hesitation, Killian pulled his arm back, magic bean in his fist, and threw it forward, releasing at just the right moment, watching it fall in a perfect arc. He readied himself to leap, waiting for the telltale swirling of a portal to open far below him. Taking one last deep breath, the captain steadied himself, pushed away from the stalk, and let himself fall, praying that when he landed he would once again be in the same realm as his True Love.

~~~~~~8888888888~~~~~~

When the sky opened to dump him heavily on the rough cement of Storybrooke's Main Street, Killian barely flinched, despite the pain on impact. He was so relieved to be back in the land he had adopted as home, back where his Swan awaited him, that he barely felt the cuts to his palm from the rugged surface, the dizziness of his portal fall, or the roiling of his stomach. He stood stiffly; testing his limbs to make sure nothing was broken, and glanced around hopefully for a sign of which way to go. However, though no sign of his Swan greeted him, as he made his way down the eerily deserted street, wandering toward the home they shared with Henry for lack of anywhere else to start, the lad found him.

"Killian!" Henry's tense voice cut through the evening air, ringing stridently in the quiet that would normally be broken by passing cars, people chatting on the sidewalk, dogs barking, but instead only heightened the paranoia he felt, as if the very breeze was hovering over them, watching and waiting.

The pirate immediately turned at the sound of his stepson calling to him, the sound of the lad's shoes slapping on the pavement growing louder and louder until the teen slammed into him, lanky arms wrapping around his waist and holding on tightly. For a moment, the relief almost overwhelmed the centuries older man; his chest tightening as he encircled Henry's wiry shoulders and clung to him just as desperately. He loved this boy, just as he loved the lad's mother, and only prayed he could offer some modicum of comfort as Henry heaved in a deep breath muffled against Killian's chest to disguise what would otherwise be a hiccupping sob.

When the lad pulled away to look up at his stepdad, his bright, intelligent eyes were wet but equally clear and determined as well. "I'm glad you're here," Henry stated seriously. "I need your help. I know where Mom is, but…but I can't get through to her." His voice wavered slightly, but he pressed on, clamping his mouth shut after he finished to stop the wobbling of his chin. "Now, th-they won't even let me in to see her."

Killian gave him a quick nod of affirmation, hoping to assure Emma's son that everything would be fine. He put his hook on Henry's shoulder and clasped the boy's upper arm with his good hand. "Well then, lead me to her. We will get to her – whatever it takes. Don't you doubt that for a second."

Henry bobbed his head in agreement and set off, headed toward what Hook had always known to be the town's bustling center, where the hospital and town hall were located. Still, they encountered no traffic, and the few people they saw peered suspiciously from the windows or glared at them outright in passing. They were still so few and far between as to send a foreboding shiver down both Author and sailor's spines. 'What had the Black Fairy done to their home?' Killian wondered as they hurried on.

Upon reaching the hospital, Henry cautioned him to be quiet and move swiftly before they snuck in a side entrance for housekeeping staff and carefully made their way down several floors to the basement level by sneaking into stairwells, elevators, and around corners when nurse stations were deserted and orderlies had their backs turned. They reached the dank, underground, almost bunker-like segment of the hospital, the one most knew of but had never laid eyes on, which served as an asylum. The two had used their wits and a clever trick to reach this place once before, but the situation felt even more troubling this time. A chill ran through Killian at the thought of his wife being locked down here in the cold, dark labyrinth of cement and metal doors with barely a window in their stark faces. 'How long had it seemed to her? Did she believe she had been abandoned and forgotten once more?'

"Emma doesn't bloody belong here!" he spat in a harsh whisper, anger making him clench his fist in helpless fury.

"I know that, Killian," Henry tried to soothe, anxiety making his throat almost too dry to speak through and his pulse racing at triple speed, hoping his stepdad could keep himself in check long enough for them to get his mom out of there for good. "But Fiona even has her half-convinced she's unstable. I knew I was right, that I had to make Mom believe again… but no one would listen to me."

"That ends now," Killian swore, holding Henry's gaze resolutely until he saw the youth accept it as truth and know he was no longer fighting alone. "Show me where she is, and we will get her out of here right now."

Like they had done in Isaac's skewed alternate universe, and in this very basement after Emma had vanished with the Darkness, they worked like a well-oiled machine; once Henry had shown him which room he last knew his mother to be in, the lad had waltzed up to the nurse on duty, completely distracting her in conversation that even the dour old battleaxe couldn't worm out of – the two guards standing at Emma's room door drawn over as well, just as they had hoped. Now was his chance, and Killian didn't waste it, slipping behind them all the moment Henry's enthusiastic gestures had them looking the other way, snagging the key off the wall hanger and slipping into the room Henry had indicated as his mom's without a moment's pause or fumble.

However, upon slipping into the cell and pulling the door closed behind him to hide his presence, Killian was frozen stock still by the sight that met his eyes. He had found his wife, but the woman before him on a hospital bed next to the wall in the stark room, was hardly recognizable as his fiery, beautiful Swan. She barely moved, even as he let out an unconscious groan of her name and stumbled forward to reach her. Glassy, unfocused eyes turned to study him, but no expression enlivened their depths.

So struck dumb – both violently angry and saddened near tears by Emma's unresponsive state – it took Killian a few minutes to take in the rest of the horrifying tableau that surrounded her, and when he did, he was sorry, as it indicated a nightmarish reality to which she had been subjected.

Finally snapped from the appalled trance that had struck him, Killian took several more steps forward, still gauging Emma for a reaction even as he catalogued signs of the injustice done to her. The room was so dim he wondered if she could really even see who had entered; the only light came from a high, barred window that allowed a mere shaft of sun into the shadowed interior. He saw a calendar and pictures affixed to the wall before a rickety desk – strange red Xs he couldn't fathom the meaning of marking through certain dates at random. But his heart broke for her at the pictures and messages posted alongside them. "Must Accept Reality" blared the largest, which came before a picture of her parents, one of Henry, and one of himself, all slashed through in black marker with a harsh, succinct warning of "Not Real" scrawled along with it. On the desk was a large and wicked-looking syringe for administering medicine, as he had learned from his own time as a patient following his unfortunate run-in with a car. He immediately distrusted the array of bottles and pills on the surface along with the needle however, somehow sensing that these had been used to render Emma the nearly insensate shadow of herself he saw before him.

He couldn't help going to her after that, hoping to offer some solace in the obvious proof that he did exist, as did her parents and her son. As he came to stand before her, he finally sensed her vision clearing just a bit. Blinking ever so slowly, she swallowed before her mouth moved, working almost lethargically to make some sound escape. Then, almost inaudibly soft, he heard her sweet voice, "Y-You…you're real." The smallest flicker of recognition flared in her gaze, and then, shattering his last defense, a single tear trekked silently down her cheek. Her arm moved as if to reach for him and make sure he was there, but was jerked back by what he suddenly saw were restraints cuffing each wrist to a side rail of the bed. Rage flooded his system afresh at how panicked and helpless his strong, take-charge wife must have felt at being physically tied down, at least until she was drugged into docility, as he was now certain she had been.

His good hand fisted until his nails drew blood in his palm, but he didn't stop. Fearing she might retreat back into the stupor she'd been lost in, he fell to his knees beside her, reaching out to brush her tear away. "Oh Emma," he breathed, forcing tenderness to his hoarse tone, despite the turmoil rioting inside, and already fumbling to loosen the cuffs that held her, "Love, what have they done to you?"

iii. together again

The dark-haired man with eyes blue as the sea was standing there in front of her. Emma blinked disbelievingly, trying to clear her vision and convince her mind to stop playing these games, but the arresting stranger didn't go anywhere, his deep gaze holding her captive even more strongly than it had from the pages of Henry's book. She thought that she tried to speak, to ask him if he was real, but everything felt so sluggish and muted. Whatever the shot they had given her was, it had rendered her almost immobile, and made it hard to think. Her head felt disjointed from her body.

She knew she tried to reach out for him, but something held her back, and in the fog of her brain and vision, she wasn't sure what. He must have heard her anyway, or understood her intention, because despite her thwarted attempt, he came closer. In fact, he fell to his knees beside her bed, and she saw pain and caring and fear for her in his eyes as he wiped the tear she hadn't even felt fall from her cheek. She heard him speak her name – such emotion in the lilt of it, had her name ever sounded that lovely before? Something about it was familiar, just as the illustration of him had been.

Then, he was fumbling to free her wrists. Why was she fastened to the bed? And why couldn't she remember? Terror began to latch onto her, and she was doing all she could not to fall apart, her mind crawling at putting events and pieces of memory together, but racing in anxiety and the feeling that she had been so trapped and out of it at the same time. It was almost a blessing for her handsome rescuer that her body wasn't responding correctly to her brain's signals, or he might have earned a punch or kick in self-defense, just for being so close before she could gather her wits about her.

She found herself calming though once freed, and he soothed her in a low murmur, running gentle fingers and what felt like smooth, cool metal over the raw, reddened skin of her wrists. Soon he was brushing her hair back from her face and rising taller on his knees to look her in the eyes searchingly. "Are you alright, Darling? Are you hurt anywhere else? Can you tell me what you need, Love?"

For whatever reason, however she knew him or thought she did, Emma wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms, cling to him and never let go. Yet, even in her weakened, confused condition, she couldn't quite beg, ‘Just hold me please’, and so nothing came out. She simply stared at him, hoping against frantic hope that she wouldn't blink to find him gone, alone again in her hopeless void.

"It's going to be alright now, Swan. I've got you. You're going to be fine," he promised.

Though she didn't know much else, Emma believed him and took him at his word. When he leaned forward and kissed her at the end of his vow, it didn't feel strange, but right. She didn't flinch away; instead she closed her eyes and welcomed it. The rainbow light that burst and illuminated the air behind her eyelids may have meant she'd completely lost it, but she didn't care. She was rocked to the core with a joy and exhilaration she had never known; it would have blown her off her feet if she had been standing. Opening her eyes, Emma met his equally stunned gaze, all the pieces falling into place.

She gasped for air as the world shifted, her strength returned, her brain cleared, and the curse was lifted from her shoulders. True Love's Kiss had at last gifted its magic to them. "Killian," she whispered adoringly, tracing his beloved face with her fingertips and wondering how she had ever managed to forget him. "You found me."

~~~~~~8888888888~~~~~~

He knew that they needed to move, that he could explain later, but for now they had to get out. Neither he nor Henry had magic to fight their way through with her if they were discovered. And yet, seeing Emma so weakened and lost; confused, drugged, and imprisoned, he couldn't bring himself to push her or order her to do anything – even for her own good. Instead, Killian merely freed her hands, unable to stop touching her, so relieved he had found her and that she was in his arms again.

Though she did seem pleased to see him and some hint of recognition now shone on her face, Killian also sensed that it wasn't a complete knowledge of who he was to her, of their shared history and their connection as husband and wife. For that reason, he valiantly restrained himself, limiting his touches to the skin of her abused wrists, smoothing the wildly matted hair off her face, and wiping away the tear that nearly undid him. Woe to Gold's wretch of a mother if he got hold of her first. What she had done to his love was inexcusable, and the only thing that kept his blood from boiling over was his need for gentleness in the face of Emma's distress.

Despite his best intentions, he did end up holding her to him, easing the cool curve of his hook up and down her spine and allowing her to cling to him and bury her head in his chest. She was shaking slightly, tremors running throughout her body, and he worried again just what had been given to her and what aftereffects might have yet to appear. It would break Henry's heart to see her this way, and Killian dreaded it, but he couldn't in good conscience leave the lad out there as decoy alone much longer. He found himself murmuring calming words against Emma's cheek, promising all would be well, though he was not at all sure how to make it true.

So when she pulled back to look up at him and hope lit in her eyes, along with trust in him and his protection writ large on her face which had always been so tough and self-reliant, he realized he shouldn't have been at all surprised that his heart stopped and restarted again before he pulled her in for a kiss he couldn't contain.

What did stun him, after all the times they had kissed and then had to find another way, the other modes of confirmation and the unspoken disappointments at previous attempts, was the way the world rocked at the impact of their lips. The whoosh of wind he felt swirl around him and the dazzling light that almost blinded him. Somehow, finally, they had been granted the fairytale stamp of approval like her parents before them. His heart soared despite the fear, pain, and anger of the past hours – True Love's Kiss.

The awed whisper of his name on her tongue let him know that much had been set right – her memory and awareness returned to her. Not sure whether to laugh or cry at her stunned repetition of her mother's long ago realization "You found me", he merely held her tighter, placed a kiss to her brow, and smirked briefly, hoping his mate would now be back soon to mock him for it as he gave his own version of the familiar response. "Did you truly doubt I would, Darling?"

Relief seeped into his bones as everything within him slid back to its rightful place, and the world seemed to stop shaking with the threat of destruction from her lost belief. Henry burst into the room behind them and flung his arms around them both, where he was welcomed into the midst of their laughing, crying, locked together heap on her bed. For the moment, for now at least, nothing would tear them apart.

~~~~~~8888888888~~~~~~

From there, things were set right quickly; her devious plan thwarted and genuine reality again restored, the Black Fairy was dealt with in a way that made the havoc she had wrought hard to believe. Killian marveled that her demise had not come about by his own hand or hook after the distress and horror she had caused Emma, but at the moment of truth, Charming had held him back, and it had only taken a second for Killian to know it was right. His mate had merely said he was returning a reminder about vengeance that Killian had offered him, and both knew exactly what was meant. It was, in the end, by her crooked son's own hand that the dark fairy was vanquished. With her evil influence removed and his heart restored, Gideon was returned to his parents a babe once more, for better or for worse the Crocodile's happy ending restored along with Belle's. The rest of their family was returned to them from the other realm, almost as soon as they had exited the hospital, the final confrontation taking place on Main Street. None of the realms they knew had crumbled, thanks to he and Henry's success in restoring the Savior's belief.

Yet none of that or the clean-up, explanations, and details left to be ironed out, mattered as much to Killian in the wake of the Final Battle as did Emma in his arms, walking beside him up the front steps to their home. His first, and in truth only, priority was to see that she was taken care of. That she felt herself again, and knew they would be just fine, that she felt safe and loved, and knew he was still at her side and she wasn't alone, were his only objectives.

Emma told him everything of the false world and circumstances while they had been sent away. How she had doubted herself, doubted Henry, even doubted her own sanity and what she knew to be real. She choked on the words occasionally – guilt, hurt, and a false sense of responsibility threatening to drown her, but Killian merely held her, both arms around her as they sat against the headboard of their bed, her back leaning against his front, his lips and his scruff brushing over her bare shoulder in repeated reassurances that it wasn't her fault, there was nothing she could have done, that no one blamed her, and that she had still managed to save them in the end. It was not the honeymoon night they might have wished for, but the healing together bound them closer all the same.

Eventually, Emma felt some peace, and they lay down to sleep, still wrapped around each other, hoping against hope that they were tangled up with each other so tightly that if something tried to steal between them again in the night it would prove impossible. Kilian's chest ached for her when she woke in the still-dark early morning gasping for breath from a vivid nightmare, but he sadly was not surprised after what she had gone through.

Turning to face him, still in the circle of his arms, Emma stroked her fingers through the dark hair covering his chest until her hand rested atop his heart, in a gesture he had come to adore, both for its protectiveness and its possessiveness as well. "Even when I didn't know who you were to me, or why, I still wanted you near…wanted you safe," she breathed against his skin. "You were still there inside me somehow."

Killian pressed his lips to the back of her neck, mumbling "good" as she shivered at the intimate touch. "I would be lost without you…if you ever forgot and left me behind." He said no more, simply held her until her breathing evened out in slumber once more, and he began to drift off himself. This time had to be the true beginning for them; their time for peace and happiness after so many trials. Nothing could break them apart; as long as they both should live.

Tagging a few who may enjoy: @kmomof4 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jennjenn615 @searchingwardrobes @hollyethecurious @darkcolinodonorgasm @sherlockianwhovian @killian-whump @spartanguard @lfh1226-linda @therooksshiningknight @tiganasummertree @thislassishooked @winterbaby89 @blowmiakisscolin @resident-of-storybrooke @teamhook @revanmeetra87

#self promo sunday #cs oneshot #season six finale divergent #captain cobra #captain charming #cs ff canon divergent #quietly breaking breaking the chains

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snowbellewells · 5 years

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Self-Promo Sunday: “A Private Revolution”

On the eve of Revolution, when it seems his whole world is falling down around him, nobleman Killian Jones is given a wonderful reason to keep fighting for his life...

{ I first began writing this fic more than two years ago, during a summer hiatus event. The prompt was simply “French Revolution”. At the time, I just put together what struck me for a quick one shot, and though it’s short and dubious in its historical accuracy, I have a friend who loved it and kept asking for a sequel. Once I finally posted Part Two, I thought ‘Okay, now I’m really done with this.’ But then @kmomof4 actually made the above fic banner art for it for my birthday in August, and I just couldn’t really ignore the request for after such a lovely gesture! ;) In honor of her birthday this week, there will be a new addition coming on Tuesday, since a suitable plot idea has at long last taken shape. So, for my Self-Promo Sunday contribution this week, here is the story as it stands so far. Enjoy! }

** Also on AO3: Part One and Part Two and on ff.net **

“A Private Revolution”

Part One

The knock at the door was so soft he almost did not hear it, and Lord Killian Jones tilted his head to listen curiously, unsure if the faint noise had been there at all or if he had imagined someone coming to him in his solitary moment of loneliness and ruin. Yet though the knocking sound was not repeated, he could hear a quiet scuffle as he listened closely, as if someone shy or hesitant to disturb were shuffling their feet just outside his chambers – and with that, the young nobleman felt quiet sure he knew who was waiting for admittance.

“Enter,” he called out, pushing confident assurance into his voice, despite the sensation of everything being unmoored, crumbling, trembling at the brink of downfall. He could not let his fear or his uncertainty show – his family name, his noble line must be upheld, regardless of his own personal doubt. It would not do to have some disloyal servant see him quaking in his shoes and to spread that news to the crass, militant rabble in the streets. Though if this was the person he expected, she would never dream of doing any such thing.

The door swung inward by slight degrees, until a flawless, pale and heart-shaped face was revealed, muted only by the glowing halo of flaxen curls piled out of the way atop this angel’s head, with tendrils escaping here and there to trail along her neck and shoulders enticingly. The huge door, ornate with whorls and loops of hand wrought carving and adding to the opulent white and gold leaf décor of his personal apartments could not hold a candle to this chambermaid with simple and quiet dignity. It had always been so, ever since their childhood on the estate together when they had laughed and played happily, much less aware of the difference in their stations. Her mother had been his mother’s favored ladies’ maid, and Emma Swan had been on this estate in his family’s employ since birth. It mattered little however that she was a mere housekeeper and assistant to the cook; he had always been in awe of her beauty, the way sunlight caught her hair and lit it aflame, or how the sparkling humor in her verdant green eyes could bring a smile and laughter to his lips no matter what had befallen him. He was tempted even now – as he had been countless times before – to touch an escaped curl of her luxurious mane and twirl it around his finger, to know what those soft strands would feel like against his skin.

“Emma,” was all he said aloud, giving a slight nod and beckoning her forward with crooked fingers. “Come in, please.”

She curtsied as she had been taught, and moved forward, graceful tread sinking into the plush carpet. Though he had tried as often as he could for years to convince her that such formality was unnecessary, she persisted for some unfathomable reason that remained beyond his grasp. His mother had been dead nearly a decade now – to the fever – even if her loss still ached in his breast, his father had already fled the country as Killian himself had been cautioned and advised to do, and his older brother Liam fought for the crown somewhere, surely trying to protect and keep the peace in the midst of a frightening Revolution. Killian has received no word of his elder sibling, his hero, in nearly two months’ time, and the horror and panic at the thought of what might have befallen Liam threatened to climb up his throat and choke him whenever he dwelt upon it too long…

“Milord,” Emma’s quiet voice – so unique, demure and respectful, but also husky, low, undeniably sensual – interrupted the thoughts that had begun to overwhelm him, and he clenched his fists against his thighs, hoping that his childhood friend, now servant to a decrepit manor falling around both their ears, would not see that he had begun to shake when she continued speaking. “Beg pardon, Monsieur, but do you not mean to depart for the country? It is no longer safe for you here, Sire.”

His eyes darted up sharply in order to search hers, their icy blue piercing her; he could tell by the way her perfectly shaped pink lips parted on a startled gasp. “You are the one who should leave, Mademoiselle,” he remarked, irked once again that she still refused to drop her guard and address him as someone she actually knew. He cast his eyes back down to study his fine trousers and the elaborate buckles on his shoes – all silly affectations of his class that seemed so pointless now – unable to meet her guileless eyes any longer. “Flee from here, tell no one from whence you came, blend with the oncoming mob and seek their protection from your oppressors. Why do you stay?”

Trembling herself, as if she could barely stand to be so bold, Emma drew closer to him than she had allowed herself since they were fourteen, since before his mother’s death and the weight of his position had fully fallen upon his shoulders, when they had been spinning under the open sky in a sunlit field of wildflowers until they had tumbled dizzily to the ground and in a moment of reckless abandon he had pulled her to his side, brushed her hair from her flushed face, leaned over her and kissed her. It had never been repeated, but in unguarded moments Killian could sense that neither of them had forgotten that one perfect kiss. This was one such time; it was clear in Emma’s open, pleading gaze as she tentatively reached forward and put her delicate fingers beneath his chin, tilting his face up to meet hers.

“Don’t you know, K- Killian?” she whispered, stumbling momentarily over his given name, a familiarity she also had not allowed herself in years. “It is you who keeps me here. You cannot remain to make yourself a sacrifice to these fiends. Mon Dieu! I could not bear it if -”

She broke off suddenly, wrenching her gaze away with a heaving breath, and withdrawing her gentle touch. But Killian pushed forward, emboldened for the first time in what felt like ages. Resolved in an instant, he took her hand in his, his face still burning pleasantly from her touch. The thought that she lingered for him, that she would not abandon him even for her own safety and a life of freedom, shook Killian to his core. ‘Even after all this time,’ he realized, so stunned it nearly stole his breath, ‘she still feels as I do.’ He might not have been willing to flee for the sake of his own hide, but for her he would go to the end of the world itself.

Bringing the back of her hand up to his mouth, Killian placed a fervent kiss to her soft, creamy skin. “Then upon my word, we leave at once. Emma,” he savored her name on his tongue like fine wine, “it will be as you wish.”

And so, that night, when the violent mob with their torches breached the gates of his chateau, Lord Killian Jones and Emma Swan had already vanished, disappearing as one into the night.

Tagging a few who may enjoy (if they haven’t already seen it): @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @let-it-raines @effulgentcolors @jennjenn615 @hollyethecurious @resident-of-storybrooke @laschatzi @winterbaby89 @linda8084 @thislassishooked @darkcolinodonorgasm @thisonesatellite @bmbbcs4evr @aloha-4-ever @angellifedeath @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose

#cs ff #cs two shot (for now)#French Revolution cs au #self promo sunday #a private revolution

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